


A Night At The Ballet

by westcoastatlanta



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is a veteran, Alex is horny and medicated, Alex just wants to be governor, Alex just wants to eat John's ass, F/M, FUCK John Adams, Fuck Frances Kinloch, Is Alex a step dad? We don't know, John Has Issues, John and Alex are the kings of crazy exes, John doesn't know what a condom is, John is a big ball of angst no matter what, John literally does not know what emotions are, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Maria is just living her life, Phillip just wants to watch cartoons, This is such a clusterfuck, Thomas is a centrist, jeffmads - Freeform, mullette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2019-11-18 04:43:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 396,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18113525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westcoastatlanta/pseuds/westcoastatlanta
Summary: John Laurens is a poor college drop out who works too many jobs and tried his hardest to keep him and his son, Phillip Laurens, off the streets. Phillip's mother had wanted nothing to do with Phillip, so John was the one who took the small kid in at just the age of twenty. Five years later, they were still living in New York, though money was getting tight.Then John met a very interesting man by the name of Alexander Hamilton.Note: The political beliefs expressed in this book do not directly reflect my beliefs. None of my characters are perfect people (Please don't take their mistakes out on me), and none of them are perfectly educated on everything in the world (please don't take that out on me). This book was written at a time when I was really pissed off at the world, and it SHOWS.





	1. John is trying his best

Surprise bitch, I bet you thought you saw the last of me.

John took a deep breath, shaking as he sat in the court house, listening to powerful men talk about a bill that affected his life in almost every way. He was supposed to speak in its defense. Granted, he'd been surprised when some uptight lawyer came to his door and asked him to speak in defense of the bill, but he was quick to jump at the opportunity. The bill was financial aid for lower class single parents, like John. It gave them extra money so they could take care of their children without having to work eighteen hours a day, but it was in the process of being repealed, which is why John was here, speaking on behalf of it. The republican side of New York's government is asking for a repeal, citing something about a pay raise for them as the reason, while the nearly equal sized democratic faction was fighting for it to stay. In the end, it would come down to a vote.

John had been a single parent for five years. His son had been born when he was twenty, during the start of John's second semester at New York University, and he'd had to drop out at the end of the year to pick up another job to support him and his son, Phillip. He was twenty five now, and preparing for his son to go preschool this year. It was still summer, so the small child was in daycare. He was a small, skinny kid, with curly black hair and hazel eyes like John. Phillip was short for his age, but John figured he would grow, since John stood at a solid six foot two. John also figured Phillip would stay skinny, just like his father. While John wasn't bone, he wasn't exactly buff either. He had slim muscles from dancing, his legs holding a space between them and his stomach graced with a smooth but outlined six pack. His long hair was often put up in a bun, so it didn't get in the way while John was working one of his many jobs. He was a dance teacher, a house sitter, a fast food worker, and bartender. John worked about seventy hours a week total, which was exhausting. He had a day off from everything though, which he was more than grateful for, since he did need and wanted to spend time with his son. He never minded the work though, because it paid off when he saw his son getting the best education from one of the best preschools in New York, eating healthy and vitamin enriched food and being able to run and play with other kids. Even though John had to drop out of college, and went some nights without dinner, he knew he would've done it all again for Phillip.

That didn't, however, mean that John was doing okay financially. He could barely scrape by most months, just barely making rent. John would pick up extra shifts whenever he could, thanking the lord for his other single-parent friends who would pick up Phillip when he needed. Of course, he paid them back by baby sitting for them whenever they needed. It was a big group effort, but, in the end, they gave their kids the best life, even when they couldn't be involved. Every parent in John's group relied on the money granted by this bill, though. James Madison, a short man in his early thirties, needed the money for the nine medications he took, plus the three for his son, Payne. Hercules Mulligan, a man who'd just graced the age of thirty, needed the money to pay the rent on his apartment, needing a bigger one as his studio, and thus his livelihood, were based there. Herc didn't exactly make riches as an art teacher, so he designed clothes on the side, which paid well, but not enough to cover the rent without the cushioning that the bill provided. His son, William, was a sweet boy, though he was often caught coloring and disregarding the outside world, though Hercules didn't mind. He was glad his child was creative. Another of John's friends who seriously benefited from the money was Sally Hemmings. Sally had a daughter named Beverly, a happy little girl who loved to go outside. Sally was barely getting by stripping at the bar John tended at. During the day, she could be found at a local bookshop, but her two jobs were never enough to keep on top of rent. The extra money the bill provided was the only thing keeping her and Beverly off of the the streets. Sally needed the money, as did James, as did Hercules, as did nearly every other single parent in New York. Which is why John felt such pressure on him as he walked up to the podium, making a point of staring down every republican he passed, only focused on filling their own wallet; staring down every capitalist he hated, who didn't couldn't care less about the lower class.

"John Laurens, to speak on the Parent and Child bill," came the judge's deep voice.

John wiped his hands on his worn out blue skinny jeans, taking a deep breath, he leaned forward to the microphone. "My son Phillip was born when I was twenty years old. He was a healthy baby-seven pounds, but despite that, he required attention, as babies do. I had to drop out of college, to take care of him, and it's been him and I on our own since then. I had no family to help me, no one to rely on, which is why the Parent and Child bill is so important to me. I work four jobs right now, and I still cannot make the rent without the extra money this bill provides. In fact, since the bill, and the money that I receive from it, has been on hold, I've been evicted. I have ten days to pay rent before my landlord finds someone else to take my apartment. Without this bill, my son and I will be homeless. Another person who benefits from this bill is my close friend, James Madison. James takes nine medications, and his child takes three. Without that extra money, James cannot afford his needed medication. He has sickle cell, asthma, epilepsy, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, COPD, arthritis, and chronic depression. He suffers from chronic pain, and this isn't even covering the way a simple cold or flu affects him. He's drowning in hospital bills, and needs this money to pay for those, as well as rent, food, transportation, and education for his son. I may be young, but I am not naive. I understand where the money saved by cutting this bill will go. I understand that even though our leaders in this government get paid more in a month than I do in a year, they believe they deserve a raise, and see taking away many peoples'- many kids'- lifeline is the way to get it, but I beg of you, please, find a bit of decency within yourselves and realize that this is not a program that lazy parents apply for so that they don't have to work. This is something that keeps our children clothed and fed- keeps a roof over their heads. It keeps my friend alive. Taking this away would not be inconvenient, it would be heartless. Thank you."

John stepped down from the podium, blocking out the murmurs and leaving the room. He didn't need to stay any longer, and he was going to be late for his shift. He wanted to stay though. John wanted to see the end of the trial, know what they decided, but he couldn't. The chances of him being fired for missing a shift were slim, but the chances of him having no hope of paying back that rent without the money this extra shift afforded were very high. So, as he got into his car, he loosened his tie, taking it off and unbuttoning his old white dress shirt with one hand as he drove to the greasy burger joint he worked out. John didn't exactly like the job. The manager was creepy, always coming into the locker room and staring as John got changed, but there wasn't much he could do. He needed the money, he needed to work.

John pulled into the parking lot, sighing as he got out in just hit old white wife beater, showing off his sleek arms, built with muscle, but thin from slight malnourishment. When there was money for food, it was Phillip who ate. Often times though, there were free snacks at the dance studio he taught at, so John would sneak one or two of those between classes. Plus, no one ever noticed if a small fry and a few chicken nuggets went missing at his fast food job, so that's what he did. He needed to eat because he needed to work. If he didn't work, he wouldn't be able to support Phillip.

John entered the greasy building, waving to a coworker, Nathan, before heading to the locker room, mentally preparing himself for the eyes of the late thirties manager, Ben who never failed to comment on John's body in a way that wasn't reportable, but still sent discomfort deep into John's bones. Even if it was reportable, he wouldn't say anything. He didn't want to lose this job. He needed it. If he and Phillip ended up homeless, he would need to save every bit of money he could to get into an apartment. Maybe this would be the excuse they needed to move somewhere. John had wanted to get out of New York for a while, but couldn't since there was nowhere else he could find this many jobs and this cheap a way of life, despite the fact that his apartment was way overpriced.

"Afternoon, John," Ben said, leaning against the doorway as John takes off his shirt. "You look well."

"And you," John nodded politely, his stomach twisting.

"You know, if you ever needed another job, I'm sure you could model, or work at a bar just downtown, dance. You dance, don't you?" His manager inquired, licking his lips.

John swallowed hard as he put on his uniform shirt and then slipped down his pants to change into his work ones. He hates wearing clothes that smelt like burger grease home, so he always changed his full outfit once he arrived at work. "I do. Contemporary and ballet."

"Must be how you have such a nicely formed body," Ben continued, smirking.

John nodded, shutting his locker with a slam and brushing past the man twice his age. "Thank you. My shift is starting."

"Have fun," Ben chuckled, obviously look down to check out the way John's curved, defined ass looked in his slim fitting black pants. It looked better in the blue skinny jeans he had been wearing earlier, which he'd owned for so long, they stayed the shape of his legs even when they were off. The knees were just beginning to form rips, which pissed John off, since they were his work jeans when he went to bartend. They were also his home jeans. He only owned one other pair, not including the black pants he wore now, which would take four washes before the smell of fast food even began to fade.

John began working, taking orders and preparing food. Most people say that once they've worked at a fastfood restaurant, they can't eat from it anymore, but John had to be smart when it came to food accessibility. When something was made wrong and sent back, John made quick work of it, scarfing it down. He taught the other, younger, but just as poor employees to swipe the send-backs, feeling his heart ache a bit when he saw the nineteen-year-old boy, Nathan, hiding behind the back shelf, gulping down food. John had a kid of his own, and had an inexplicable parental feeling for anyone under his ripe age of twenty-five. It never got John in trouble though, because most times, he would offer to give younger employees, especially the younger girls, a ride to the subway station or to home when the shifts ran late. He remembered what it was like to be a fresh twenty year old, scared, with no family, and he hated that other people had to feel that.

It was amazing how rapidly the time that passed, working to stay alive. Soon enough, Phillip's daycare was letting out, and John wasn't even halfway done with his shift. So, he undid his bun and ruffled up his hair, unbuttoned a few buttons on his shirt, and slipped into his manager's office.

"Sir," John said in a husky voice, letting his old, country accent adjust the words a bit, adding that extra bit that would get John the time to pick up Phillip.

"Mr. Laurens," Ben replied, smirking and looking up. "How can I help you?"

"I was wondering, could I take my lunch break a bit early?" John asked slowly, biting his lip. "I need to pick up my son."

"Well, of course, John, Nathan will cover for you. Just be back before his shift ends," Ben, reminded.

John nodded, walking out of the building and to his car, the back filled with the stuff from his apartment. John hadn't thought he'd ever own a car in New York City, but ended up needing one when Phillip was born, so he saved up and bought a shitty Volvo that honestly, could break down any day now. The heat didn't work, and the back windows didn't roll down, which made Phillip grumpy, and the gas tank leaked and the engine sounded as though it was on death's doorstep.

John drove through the streets of New York soaking in the honks and yelling, since the radio didn't work and he didn't have the energy to put in one of his many CDs. The sound of New York kept him from falling asleep, which wasn't unheard of in New York traffic. Usually, about half way through a shift, John found himself stealing shitty coffee from the restaurant to he could stay awake. He got an average of four to five hours of sleep per night, which really weighed him down. He may have had a bunch of part-time jobs, but John was a full-time parent which was exhausting on its own.

John pulled up to Phillip's daycare, yawning as walked up the steps. Phillip played with one of his other friends, George, as John signed him out and retrieved Phillip's backpack from the cubby. He then walked over, careful not to step on any small toys (or children), and tapped Phillip's tiny shoulder. Phillip, looked up and smiled, embracing John's leg, smiling. John picked up his little boy, situating Phillip on his hip as he walked outside.

"How was day care, honey?" John inquired as he opened the back door to position Phillip in his car seat.

"It was fun," Phillip nodded, running his fingers along the carseat, using the texture of the fabric to calm him down. "It was George's birthday, so we got to eat cupcakes and watch Nemo."

John smiled back at his son, kissing Phillip's temples. "Papa's gotta work, so I need you to hang out at the restaurant for a little bit, buddy, but you can play on the iPad."

"Okay, papa," Phillip said, smiling as John got into the front seat. John was forever grateful that Phillip was such an easy going kid. John never talked about money or finances with Phillip. He didn't want that stress to be put on his kid, and at such a young age. Thankfully, Phillip never minded if he had to spend a while in the booth at a fast food restaurant, playing on the iPad Sally gave to him when she got a deal on a phone plan. John would be forever grateful for her generosity, and immediately made it kid-friendly, hardly touching it all, himself. He had a thirty dollar a month Tracfone that he could use to make calls and texts. That was it though. He was happy to let Phillip have the better things. John didn't need them, and he didn't even have time to use them, so no point in spending that kind of money anyhow. John made sure that Phillip wasn't constantly staring at a screen either, though. On days John that John didn't have to work late, he and Phillip would go to the park, with one of John's single parent friends.

"Papa, Papa, put on the shake it music." Phillip bounced in his seat a little bit.

"Alright, alright," John laughed, opening up the small CD binder, flipping through it a bit, looking for the OutKast album that he'd found at a garage sale. John located it, slipping it in the CD player and began driving back to work, while Phillip danced sloppily in his carseat. Another thing that John loved about Phillip was that Phillip loved rap and hip hop. Their favorite albums were The Way You Move by OutKast, Damn by Kendrick Lamar, and Lazy Fair by Bryce Vine. There were curses in some songs, a few references, but John had learned from raising siblings that if you you don't make a big deal out of something, the kid won't either. So, when Kendrick Lamar let forth a string of curses, John didn't mention it. If he did, Phillip would most likely repeat the words.

"Hey, John, that trial thing you were in, it's on the news," Nathan called to him as John entered the fast food place, Phillip balanced on his hip.

"Did they vote yet?" John asked, setting Phillip down in an empty booth near the counter and kissing the top of his head, handing him the iPad and then walking over to the TV that hung in the restaurant for customers to watch, not needing to clock in since he never clocked out. It was a trick he taught Nathan, just to get the extra money while you're on break.

"Not yet," Nathan told John, shrugging. "If they repeal it, are you really out in the streets? Because, like, John, I'm couchsurfing at this place and I'm sure they wouldn't mind taking you, even with your kid and all."

John shook his head. "No, no, I'll be okay. I'll can shower and get water at the dance studio I teach at, and I'll still be able to afford food. I'll just, I'll be a sort of displaced for a bit. I have my car, so it'll be just fine. Don't worry about me. If I really need a place to stay, I got a few people who got my back."

"What about that guy with his medications?" Nathan asked, crossing his arms over his chest and looking back to the TV where newscasters were explaining the bill.

"He's gonna be two hundred dollars short, but me our other friends would never let him miss his medication. I mean, you heard that list. He really relies on them, so we'll each pitch in about seventy dollars. I might have to start working somewhere else on my day off, which would suck because that's the only time I really get to hang out with Phillip, but we can't live out of our car forever." John sighed, putting his hair back up in the required bun. "I really don't get how we can still rely on such a capitalist system when people are being pushed out into the streets because of it. I mean, they want to repeal this bill for a pay raise. I haven't gotten a pay raise in two years, from any job, and I have four. These pompous idiots come in and they're like-"

"Excuse me!" A loud voice interrupted John. He saw a woman was standing at the counter, looking angry, so he took her order down, making sure not to mess it up, since the woman clearly wouldn't hesitate to talk to Ben if he did, and then Ben would have to talk to him, and John really didn't want to be alone with Ben.

"Oh, hey, John, I'll take the cash register, they're finalizing the votes, You see what happens," Nathan offered, bumping John gently off the register.

John nodded, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared up at the old box TV with the black and white captioning and the low scratchy sound. John took in lines and lines of state leaders, from a bored looking budget division leader, to the almost giddy looking state law revision leader. A cold sweat broke over John's back as someone on the television began speaking. The tired fast food worker clenched his fists, seeing someone with the nerve to smirk. It was like none of them cared that the repealing of this bill would mean so much more than just a pay raise. John couldn't understand how they could take away from such a poor faction as the single parents of New York. Then he could. These were people who'd had their lives handed to them. The problems of lower classes were not heavy on their minds.

"The vote has been finalized," announced the judge's deep voice, his gavel hitting his podium. "With a sixty-four to forty-six vote, the bill will be repealed."

John felt like a horse had kicked him in the chest.

He looked over at Phillip who was playing on the iPad and blinked away tears. His heart was had all but stopped, but he couldn't show it. He needed to take a deep breath, get back to work, more than ever, now. So, that's what he did, telling Nathan he could take over the register, letting Nathan go back to make food and swipe extras. John's head began to pound subtly and he was almost drooling at the though of the half empty bottle of Aleve in his locker.

"Hey, what was the vote?" Nathan asked quietly when the line was gone and John had a moment. "Like, is it okay? Did they vote to keep it?"

John chuckled. "No. It's being repealed. I can't, I can't focus on that though. I can't throw myself a pity party. I have a son, and I need to work to get us a home again. I need to make sure he eats. Oh, fuck, dinner. He hasn't asked for dinner. Nathan, take over the register for a second, I'm gonna grab my kid some food."

"Yeah, I got you," Nathan nodded, taking over while John went into the back, nodding to the cooks. The cooks liked John because though John did steal a lot of food, he was nice to hang out with after work and smoke with. John tried to keep the cigarettes to a minimum because he was a dancer, but he would have one occasionally. The cooks also really liked Phillip, so John just had to say the word and they would give him a ten piece chicken nugget, a burger, some apple slices, and milk.

"Thanks," John said to the cook who handed him the tray, Dante.

"Yeah, any time John," Dante replied.

John walked out of the kitchen area and set the tray down in front of Phillip, who was playing Angry Birds enthusiastically. "Hey buddy, I got you some food. We'll be here about two more hours, okay? I'm sorry I'm working so late tonight."

"It's okay, papa," Phillip told John, taking a bite of his chicken nugget.

Johns smiled sadly and kissed Phillip's head. "Alright, I'll be done soon, kid. If you get tired, just tell me and I'll let you sleep in the car so you don't have to lie down in the booth. Have fun, buddy."

"I love you," Phillip tittered as John began walking to the kitchen again.

"I love you too, Pip," John replied, his tired eyes still holding the chunk of happiness Phillip just afforded him.

John stood back at the counter, wearily taking orders. He was really starting to feel his lack of sleep, and Nathan could clearly see that, because a few seconds later, a styrofoam cup was in front of him, filled with dark black coffee, one creamer and one sugar, just how John liked it. He sipped it, then continued taking orders, biting his tongue as customers spoke down to him. He could hardly stop himself from pelting quarters at the woman who argued with him for about ten minutes about a menu item they didn't have.

"Hello, can I take your order?" John sighed at the next costumer.

"Yeah, I'll have a..." The costumer, a short man with long brown hair, stopped mid-sentence, staring curiously at John. "You were speaking today at the courthouse."

John looked the man up and down, doing a quick evaluation of him. He was short, maybe five foot five, wearing a white dress shirt and a black tie. His long brown hair was untidy, as if fingers had been raked through them exasperatedly a few too many times. His right cheek was littered with tiny little scars, merging into one large, discolored blotch on his neck and jaw. He had a clean goatee, and his dark brown eyes were marred by deep bags. A bit of ink smudged his cheek, and his messy bangs hung over his forehead. A leather computer bag was slung over his shoulder, so worn it was on the verge of falling apart. John knew who this was. This was the leader of the budget division.

"I was," John stated coldly, praying this man would just order and get out.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about the repeal," the guy smiled pitifully. "It really blows."

John could usually control his temper, but the fact that he was now homeless and this guy said 'it blows' made him want to flip out and punch him square in the face. Since he needed his job though, he just leaned forward, using his nine extra inches of height to his advantage. This guy in front of him's eyes widened when he saw the way John's eyes narrowed, the way John's shoulders broadened. John's voice dripped with venom when he spoke. "So fix it."

"What?" The smaller man stammered nervously, obviously not expecting this sort of demand from his waiter.

"You heard me," John snapped, lip curled. "I'm homeless because of that stupid repeal, and if you really think that 'blows' then you'll do something about it. You're on the inside, you know the governor. Call for a revote, rewrite the bill. You're the fucking budget manager for God's sake. Find the money so a single parents like me don't have to be thrown out on their asses into the cold Manhattan street. Fix it."

The man nodded, his eyes still wide, eyebrows creasing slightly.

John took a deep breath, clenching his jaw. "Now, may I take your order?"

"Uh, I'll take two double burgers, a small fry, and, um, is the coffee any good?"

John shrugged. "It works."

The man laughed extending his credit card. "And a large coffee."

John nodded, swiping the card and handing it back. "That'll be ten forty-seven, name?"

"Alex," the man told John, smiling kindly.

John didn't return the kindness, only offering the dull stare that most fast food workers adopt. "Your order will be out shortly."

Alex went and sat down in the booth next to Phillip, who was curled up, munching on some chicken nuggets with his headphones in the iPad, laughing at some kiddie show. John's eyes crinkled at Phillip's happy face, feeling a protective parental instinct rise inside him when he saw Alex's curious glances between John and Phillip. John got back to work though, taking orders, ignoring the occasional once-over Ben would give him, looking over to Phillip every few minutes.

Alex didn't leave for the entirety of John's shift. John would look over, seeing him take a small and slow bite of the burger he had only eaten half of in an hour, too focused on his laptop. He drank the coffee, though it was probably cold, and seemed lost in another world. His eyes were fixed onto the screen of a Macbook that could probably put a considerable dent in John's rent. John caught himself staring a couple times, trying to figure this Alex guy out. He looked older than John but younger than Ben. A few smile lines rested around his cheeks, and he had hands that looked worn. He didn't look mean, no backlash when John had lashed out at him, no annoyed glares at Phillip when Phillip's little feet stamped on the back of Alex's booth to the beat of a song. He didn't seem like the kind of guy that would vote to take away financial aid for single parents. Honestly, he didn't look like a government official at all. He looked like a poor college student who came for a place to sit and some food.

John knew better, though. Alex was often in the news. Open, loud debates with cursing, getting him in trouble. Probably the human version of a headache. The occasional tabloid about him at a fancy club, whipping around in a shiny car. The man looked boring from a front, but apparently he got out often. The occasional whisper of a boyfriend or girlfriend, but never anything concrete. John thought the attention paid to politicians like Alex was scoffable. He cared about politics, but he didn't give a shit what this man was wearing, what he was driving, who said 'fuck' and who flipped who the bird. The drama was petty, something bored rich people with nothing better to weigh heavy on their mind would read. John didn't have time to think about the drama, but he read magazine covers at the grocery store.

John's shift ended around seven pm, and found, to his surprise, that Alex was still there. Alex's food was gone, and John made mental note to ask him to order something else or go. Relishing that thought, John made his way into the locker room, tiredly taking off his slim black pants and the button up shirt with the logo and restaurant colors on it. He slipped his blue skinny jeans back on with his white wife beater. For a second, he leaned weakly against his locker, closing his eyes and trying to catch a moment of rest, as if that would make up for having been awake since two am. John slept from nine pm to two am, when his shift at the bar began. Usually, John could make it on five hours, but with today, the court hearing, becoming homeless, the fact that he's going to have to explain everything, somehow, to his son; John was exhausted. Truthfully, he probably could've curled up on the tile flooring right then, passing out for the night, but instead, he snapped himself out of his daze, thanking the lord that tomorrow was his last day for the week, and that he could sleep in on Saturday, though he knew he'd have to ask one of his friends if he could spend the night with them.

"Hey, Pip, let's go," John said slowly, a yawn slurring his words, almost beyond comprehension.

"It's too loud in here," Phillip stated, holding his arms out, the iPad still tightly clutched in one hand, for John to pick him up.

John picked Phillip up, pressing his cheek against the top of Phillip's head, as Phillip leaned against his shoulder, then made his way to Alex's booth, where the goblin was still hunched over his laptop, typing furiously. John cleared his throat to draw Alex's attention. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave if you aren't going to order something else."

Alex looked up at John, surprised, then at his watch. "Holy fuck, I've been here for that long? Shit, thanks for letting me know."

John, pushing out a heavy breath from his nose due to Alex's choice of words around Phillip, smiled tightly. "You're welcome."

After he shared one more second of awkward glancing with Alex, John left, making his way to his car. Phillip was still leaning against John's shoulder, tired almost from his long day. Phillip was very high energy with other kids, and could probably play all night, but when he left his body seemed to realize that Phillip had used up a lot of energy, one bedtime story usually enough to knock him out.

"You tired buddy?" John asked as he set a sleepy Phillip in his carseat in the back, buckling the seatbelts for Phillip because Phillip was too tired to do it for himself.

"Yeah," Phillip nodded, leaning on the head rest of his car seat.

"Alright," nodded John, balancing himself against the back seat, which was filled with a bag of their clothes. "Tonight, let's do a fun camping thing. Let's spend the night in the car. You can sleep up front with me, and we can look at stars through the sunroof. It'll be fun."

"Really? That sounds cool," Phillip nodded, obviously still very tired.

John just smiled sadly, leaning in and kissing the top of Phillip's head. "It really does, doesn't it? Now, I'm gonna find some place to park. What do you wanna listen to, buddy? Nothing too loud since it's late."

"Kendrick," Phillip ordered, clapping his soft hands together eagerly.

"Kendrick it is." John inserted the cd and crawled out of the back seat. He put his key into the ignition, then turned it, only to hear the heartbreaking sound of the engine not starting. The sound was that of John's stupid, beat-up car's death. John's breathing stopped as he tried it again, and again, and one more time before letting the key hang in the ignition and placing his head down on the steering wheel. He closed his eyes, trying to think of what to do. He had all his stuff in the car, and he really didn't feel like leaving it in a parking lot in the middle of New York City.

"Papa, are you crying?" Phillip asked innocently.

John shook his head, looking up and back at Phillip. "No, no Phillip, papa's not crying. Papa's just really tired. It's okay, don't worry."

"Okay, papa," Phillip said, eyebrows still knitted together.

John jumped at the sound of tapping on his window, whipping his head around to see Alex with a concerned look on his face, peering in at John. John, sighing, rolled down the window manually, since, of course, the car was that old, and leaned out. "Yes?"

"I, uh, I couldn't help but notice you were having trouble with your car," Alex stated, shifting awkwardly on his feet. "Could I take a look? I'm good with cars."

John paused, thinking, then sighed and got out, taking Alex to the front and popping the hood. He looked over at Alex, who had one hand on the back of his neck, the other hand on his hip. Alex's brows were pushed together and his lips formed a tight line as he stared. He almost reached forward, but then drew his hand away, as if he was afraid something would pop out and bite it. There were a few more moments of silence, John watching Alex's face change as his thoughts changed until finally, John couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Well?" He said slowly crossing his arms over his chest.

"You know, you should stay with me tonight," Alex stated truthfully, looking at John. "I have space, and as long as you care about you and your son's safety, this car will never start again. I mean, the gas tank is so old that gas it's cracking and gas is leaking out, there's duct tape instead of wire covering, and duct tape is very flammable, I would know, and also, there's a paper clip connecting two open wires? How long have you been driving this thing around? It looks like something that would work in a TV show and kill someone in real life."

John shot him a look. "Yeah, no, it was really cheap, real old. I bought it off a guy I knew in college for about a thousand bucks. I've never taken it to a mechanic, and honestly, I don't know how it ran for this long."

"Well, I can tell you for about eight hundred dollars less than any mechanism that this thing is a death trap," Alex stated, rubbing the hair on his chin. "You can send it to a junkyard, push it into a lake, or, well, really, I don't think you can even sell it for parts. So, yeah, lake or junkyard. There's a salvage down the street I can call, or you can just leave it here and let it get towed, that way you won't have to deal with it ever again."

John sighed. "I have literally all my stuff in here. I can't exactly hop on a subway with it. How long do you think I can leave it here before it gets towed?"

Alex shrugged. "Place like this? I'd give you a solid three days."

"Great, so I have three days to find a place to live," John muttered, scratching the center of his chest and tilting his head so he can crack his neck.

"Wait, you aren't seriously about to live out of your car, are you?" Alex said slowly, looking over at John, then through the front window to glance at a half-asleep Phillip.

John turned to Alex, fire in his eyes. "Oh shit, you're right. Let me just pull the cost of living and student loans, and groceries and Phillip's daycare out of my ass. Totally forgot about all the money I had hiding up there. What a dumbass I have been. Maybe, if you pulled your head out of yours, you'd be able to find some extra cash too."

Alex paused for a moment, surprised almost at John's harsh attitude, but not backing down. "You should come stay with me tonight. I have the space, and I really don't think I should let you sleep in your car. I drive an SUV, so we can take all your stuff with us."

John scoffed. "Yeah, I'm not some fucking charity case. Shit is hard, and I'm not doing my best financially right now, but I'll be fine. I don't need you to use me as some kid to prove to the tabloids that you're capable of feeling emotion."

Alex actually chuckled at John. "You should write these down." When Alex saw John's unamused face, he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, I'm not trying to pity you or score sympathy points. I've been in a bad situation too, and I know what it feels like to be alone at a time like that. You just, you have a kid, and, as a parent, you're probably hoping for a better place to sleep for Phillip than a car seat?"

John nodded slowly.

Alex shrugged. "Then let me help you. Come to my place, take a shower, get some real food in you. Sleep in a nice bed. You can figure things out tomorrow, but just, get some sleep tonight. Let Phillip get some sleep too. I have two other bedrooms, so you and Phillip could have your own rooms. I don't think I have a lot of food, but I do have eggs for breakfast and-"

John cut Alex off. "What's your address?"

"You're not driving there, this thing will explode if I start it again," Alex stated. "I know we just met, but I realize that this could kill both you and your son, slowly and painfully."

John rolls his eyes. "I'm asking so I can send it to a friend. I don't trust you, so I'm not going into this without backup. Address? Full name, too."

"Uh, my address is one hundred and ten west seventy-sixth street, and my name is Alexander Hamilton, at your service," Alex recited, his voice sounding playful.

John pursed his lips as he pulled out his Tracfone and texted Hercules, including all the information Alex gave him, plus the fact that he would text Herc when he woke up. Herc texted back a thumbs up emoji, an eye emoji, and a male runner emoji. That means Herc got what John said, was telling John to be careful, and telling him to bolt if he needed.

"Okay, so, what do we do?" Alex asked. "Do you need help, like, getting your stuff into the back of my car?"

John rolled his eyes shrugging his muscled shoulders and slamming the hood of the car shut. He looked to Alex and sighed. "Just, pull your car up next to mine. Yeah?"

Alex nodded, smiling. "Yeah, of course. You, you just, do your thing. Yeah?"

John rolled his eyes as Alex crossed the parking lot to his car. Feeling almost uncomfortable in the revealing and tight shirt he was wearing, John dove into the clothing bag and found a hoodie to slip on. Phillip was partially asleep but looked up when John opened the door. His curly hair hung over his face as he stared curiously at what his father was doing.

"Are we still sleeping in the car tonight?" Phillip asked sleepily, squirming in his seat a bit.

John smiled at Phillip, unclipping his car seat buckles. "No, but do you gotta go potty? You're doing your potty dance."

Phillip shook his head. "Nuh uh."

"Are you sure? Because we're gonna be driving for twenty minutes I think," John told him, giving him a serious face so his son knew he wasn't joking. "There's gonna be no time to go potty, so if you gotta go, tell me now."

Phillip shook his head. "I don't gotta go."

"Alright, buddy. You wait right here for a second, I'm gonna get our stuff moved into our new friend's car," John explained. "See, this old girl broke down, so we're gonna go stay at a big house tonight, get you in a bath, have a nice night. You can sleep in your own room if you want to."

"Really?" Phillip asked sleepily.

John nodded. "Wait here, buddy. I'll come and get you in a second. I just gotta move our stuff into our friend's car. Can you be good and wait here for me?"

Phillip nodded. "Uh huh."

John smiled, kissing Phillip's head. "Good. Alright, I love you."

"Love you too, papa," Phillip smiled, leaning back again as John got out of the car, seeing Alex's shiny SUV pull up next to them. It was a big car, but John didn't want to show that he was impressed, so, he opened up the back of his car and pulled out their only other maine bag beside the clothing bag upfront. It was full of Phillip's toys, some photos, a few mementos, a big binder of financial stuff, some winter jackets, and a pillow John really liked. John picked up the big trunk, not really struggling with the weight and stood expectantly as Alex went around and opened up the trunk. It was spacious and clean, a huge contrast in comparison to the small, water damaged back of John's car. John's car in its entirety was water damaged, old, rusty, quite possibly the home to an old squirrel, and just plain falling apart. The seats were worn down to a point where it's just a white grid of thread and then foam. John never complained about it, because it was the most expensive thing he owned, and worked better than anything else.

John got the clothes bag into the back, and then pulled a sleepy Phillip from the car, placing him in Alex's arms without thinking. "Hold this."

Alex and Phillip exchanged an awkward glace, but Alex quickly pulled away when he realized that John was bent over, getting Phillip's carseat out of the car. The rips on the back of John's jeans rode up to show the hem of his black boxer briefs. John's dancing formed bubble butt popped in just the right way for Alex to shamelessly stare. He held Phillip on his hip, letting the kid lean his head against his shoulder, and watched as John quickly moved the car seat from one car to another, not minding in the least that John couldn't quite reach the seat belt and hand to bend farther over.

"Alright, gimme my kid," John said, his knee propped up on the back seat and his body turned with his arms outstretched to get Phillip.

Alex obliged, standing back and staring at John's ass a little longer as John buckled up his kid. Phillip was gazing in awe at the large car, breathing in the foreign new car smell that he had never smelt before. Phillip reached out and touched the shiny leather seats, moved his hand upward and tried to touch the soft and clean ceiling. John buckled him up and stepped out of the car, catching Alex just as he looked away, moving his eyes up to the sky, as if the smoggy grey clouds were the most interesting thing in the world. John opened the driver's door and got the CD binder, as well as some insurance documents and a little, beaded necklace/bracelet thing Phillip made for him that was hanging from the rearview mirror.

"That's all you have?" Alex asked softly, noticing how little John transferred into Alex's car but not wanting to anger John like he had before.

John shrugged, looking to Alex. "I've never had money. I'm a college drop out for and I studied dance and music. Employers aren't exactly begging for me to work for them. Phillip and I have made do with what we got."

Alex shook his head, laughing. "I'm sorry, you're John, right? I saw it on your name tag, but we haven't really properly been introduced to each other."

John chuckled bitterly. "John Laurens. That's my son, Phillip Laurens."

"It's nice to make your acquaintance," Alex chuckled, going around to the driver's side. John opened up the passenger side of the car and stepped in. The seat was heated, the radio had about eight hundred buttons, everything was electronic, and honestly, John didn't know what to make of it. It was a bit overwhelming, and a quick glance into the back told him that Phillip was feeling the same way, not really knowing what to think about all of this. Alex got in as if it was nothing.

"Papa, papa I wanna listen to Kendrick," Phillip said.

"Oh, you can plug your phone into the aux," Alex offered, not wanting to upset the kid he just met. He was never really very good with kids, no matter whose they were, and when they cried, he never knew what to do. Watching Alex manage kids was entertaining, to say the least.

"Ha, we're not that rich," John said, flipping through the small travel sized CD binder that fit about a hundred CDs. "Does your CD player work?"

Alex creased his brows. "I, I don't know. I don't think I've ever used it."

John just laughed, putting the CD in and waiting for the music to start. It took a second, but the first song on the album, Blood, began playing. John skipped it because he didn't like Phillip listening to that song. Blood was kinda violent, but both John and Phillip enjoyed the next song, DNA. John sat back as it played, rapping on quietly to it as Phillip danced in the back seat, mumbling words that weren't the lyrics but deserved an A for effort.

"You let him listen to this?" Alex asked slowly, shocked at the profanities in the music.

John shrugged. "He likes it, I like it. He doesn't make me listen to those stupid kids albums, and Kendrick Lamar is good music."

Alex could only scoff at that.

"What?" John said, looking over but still tapping his finger to the beat.

Alex looked over at John, stopping at a red light. "It's a guy talking about murder and sex over a beat I could make on Garageband. Look, not to shit on whatever this is, but I've heard good music, and rap? It just isn't good. It's party garb."

John laughed. "I have so many things to say about all the words that just left your mouth. First of all, this is comical to hear, coming from the guy who has the temper of every rapper out there, with your twitter fights and 'public debates' that are just an excuse to call someone an asshole and flip them the bird when there's real work that needs to be done. Second of all, yeah, there are rappers that are like that, but there are also rappers that aren't. If you took the time to actually listen to the music, you would know that. And what God sent music have you heard that makes rap so beneath your tastes?"

"Well, first of all, those public debates are important, and James Monroe needs to know that I think he's a prick and should go shove his-"

John quickly cut him off. "Yes, I get the point without you saying that in front of my kid."

Alex sighed. "Second of all, people like, like, Rick Braun, Jelonek, Marsalis, Herbert Von Karajan, and Leonard Bernstein. People who put time and thought into their music. People who spent their lives dedicating themselves to perfecting their art."

John snorted, rolling his eyes. "That was the most pretentious bullshit I have ever heard. You really think people like, like Kendrick Lamar, Eminem, Logic, Kevin Abstract, Watsky, you think they haven't dedicated their lives to succeeding? I mean, come on, Kendrick Lamar won a Pulitzer. You can't honestly still believe he's below your violins and cellos."

"I am not pretentious," Alex defended.

"Then don't be so close minded and brush off rap as party crap or whatever you called it," John chuckled, looking out the window. "It's way more than that."

Alex paused, looking John up and down for a quick second before averting his eyes back to the road. "You're only twenty-five."

"What about it?" John said, suddenly very defensive.

Alex only shrugged, tapping the steering wheel. "I wasn't half as grown up as you at twenty-five. I was, god, what was I doing? I was messing around in Iraq, doing dumb shit, cheating on my wife. You, you're raising a child, which is something I couldn't do at that age."

"You're married?" John asked slowly, not seeing any wedding ring on Alex's finger.

"Ha!" Alex laughed, leaning back. "Yeah, from age eighteen to age twenty-six. My wife left me, in case you're wondering. No, she was crazy. Totally insane. Her sister was nice though, probably should've married her."

"Wonder why your wife left you," John said sarcastically.

Alex just offered a playful smirk. "Distance makes the heart grow fonder, John, just not for your psycho wife."

John couldn't help but laugh at that. "God, if I knew you were this weird, I don't think I would've gotten into the car. The only reason I agreed to do this is because you are a public figure and I know it would totally ruin your career anything happens to me and my son."

"Relax," Alex chuckled. "If I wanted something from you, I would've gotten it already."

"Says who?" John asked, smiling almost at this man's playful banter.

Alex scoffed playfully, looking over at John with a knowing facial expression. "I'm a public figure, John. I can shape and form myself to be anything when I want something. I can become a whole different person, just different enough and just similar enough to match up perfectly with people's personalities. If I wanted something from you, I would've gotten it by now, and you wouldn't even know."

John creased his eyebrows together. "Well, that's fun and not scary."

"Welcome to politics," Alex laughed, pushing the gas to get around a car. John just smiled lightly and leaned back, staring out the window at New York City. It was the first place John was ever exposed to the idea that his father couldn't breathe down his neck twenty-four seven. It was the first place John ever realized that letting the phone ring was much easier than picking it up. On those three am nights filled with liquor and music and a strangers company, the way his hair whipped around from the hot air of the subway station, blowing around as a train flew into the station, John felt free for the first time in his entire life.

"Alright, here we are," Alex said, pulling onto the side of the street, though his driveway dipped down steeply into an underground garage he had installed when he realized that there was a large and unneeded basement in the house. In the large garage, there was a supply closet full of tools one would need around the house. The garage also housed three other cars, but John didn't seem to care much about the steep incline of the driveway into a garage door. He was more focused on the house itself.

John gaped at the height and width of the gorgeous turn of the century brownstone. "You live here? Just you?"

Alex shrugged. "I have a fish."

"Oh, excuse me," John apologized. "I didn't realize you have a fish. Nevermind, the size of this house is totally justified now."

"Hardy har," Alex chuckled. "Come on, let's get your stuff inside. You and Phillip can take showers, and I don't have a lot of food, but if you're still hungry I can-"

"Gotta go potty!" Phillip exclaimed, now really doing his potty dance in the back seat.

"Oop, Alex, gotta show me to a bathroom," John said, quickly getting out and going to the back door and unbuckling Phillip from his carseat. Alex got out and quickly lead them inside, showing them to a large and beautiful bathroom. John didn't have time to marvel at it though, quickly helping Phillip sit up on the seat since there was no stool. Phillip smiled as he peed, giving John time to stand up and pop his back, looking at himself in the mirror. He runs his fingers over the bags under his eyes, the bit of acne on his cheek, and the mess his hair was currently in.

"Dang, Phillip, you really letting me walk around like this?" John said, chuckling as Phillip scooted off the toilet seat and pulled his pants up.

"What do you mean?" Phillip asked, curious.

"Nothing," John grinned. "Come on, let's wash your hands, then we're gonna get some pajamas for you and get you in a bath, okay?"

"Bath time," Phillip said happily, letting John lift him onto the overly tall bathroom counter and sitting there, sticking his hands under the hot water and letting John help him wash them.

"Alright, Alex, where are we staying?" John asked, coming out of the bathroom with Phillip on his hip. Alex didn't get a chance to answer since he was too busy trying to drag John's huge chest up the stairs. John had to admit, it was pretty pathetic. He was lifting with his back like rich folks tended to.

"Papa, what's he doing?" Phillip asked quietly as the two of them stared at a struggling Alex, who hadn't even noticed them yet.

John just shook his head, sighing. "Not much, bud." He set Phillip down and went over to Alex, easily lifting the trunk and shocking Alex into standing up straight. John just gave him an expectant look. "Maybe I should carry this."

Alex, chuckling, rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, okay. Come on, I'll show you to your room."

"Come on, bud," John said, making sure Phillip was behind them as they climbed the steep steps that lead upstairs. They passed a lived-in looking living room and then up one more flight. John was beginning to feel his arms weaken from the weight, but was happy when Alex opened the door to a clean and unlived in room, giving John the ability to set the trunk onto the floor and stand up straight again, popping his back.

"Alright, and you guys wanna shower or something?" Alex asked politely.

"Phillip's takes baths, but yeah," John answered. "Could you really quick get the big duffle bag with all of our clothes in it? It has Pip's pajamas."

Alex nodded. "Yeah, of course." He pointed to a door at the end of the hall. "Bathroom is right there, feel free to use anything you need. I don't have a lot of kids' stuff, but nothing that'll give anyone chemical burns, so I think that's a good median, right?"

John laughed. "Right. Towels are...?"

"In a closet in the bathroom," Alex answered, beginning to make his way down the stairs to retrieve the clothes. "I'll put the bag in your room."

John called out a thank you, then took Phillip to the bathroom. Honestly, for a divorcee who lived alone, the bathroom was surprisingly clean. Toilet lid closed, porcelain sink wiped down, bathtub looking clean and crisp. John set Phillip on the closed toilet seat and turned on the water. He kept the back of his hand under it, feeling for the water to start being warm, then put the plug in the bathtub drain so the water would stay in. He looked at the soaps, seeing that Alex had a tea tree oil shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. That was it.

"Papa, are we in a hotel?" Phillip asked softly.

John chuckled. "No, no we're not in a hotel."

"We should just live here. It's nice," Phillip said, smiling as the tub filled up.

John just nodded, using a bit of the body wash to make bubbles in the tub for Phillip. "This is gonna have to be a quick bathtime, alright buddy? It's almost time to go to bed and papa still has to shower. You can play on the iPad until I come out and then I'll read you a story and we can go to sleep. Do you wanna sleep in your own room or sleep with me?"

"I wanna sleep with you," Phillip said as John turned off the water.

"Sounds good, bud," John smiled. "Come on, arms up. It's bath time."

John helped Phillip get undressed so the poor kids head didn't get stuck like it has before. Then John put Phillip in the tub and wet his hair, helping him wash it. Phillip was getting older, and would soon be able to do this on his own, so John did treasure the extra time he got to spent with his son. Phillip was very entertaining during bath times because he would always sing about funny stories. John enjoyed this, hearing Phillip's brain work creatively. He could really put words together for someone who was five.

"Alright, time to dry off," John said, standing up and going to the towel closet. He pulled out a beige towel, big and fluffy, then pulled Phillip out of the bathtub and wrapped him in it. Phillip giggled, curling loose bits of John's black hair in his fingers. John brought Phillip the room the trunk was in, smiling a bit when he saw Alex left the clothing back on the bed.

"Papa, papa," Phillip said as John dried him off.

"Yeah?" John replied, fluffing up a bit of Phillip's drying hair.

"I wanna wear the ninja turtle pajamas," Phillip said, smiling. "Those have a good texture."

John chuckled, getting up and pulling them out of the duffle bag, coming over and helping Phillip get into them, then handing him the iPad. "Alright, you stay here. Watch cartoons or something on aunt Sally's Netflix account. I'm gonna go shower, I'll be back in ten minutes."

"Okay, papa," Phillip said, already entranced in the electric glow of entertainment.

John sighed, popping his back and heading into the hallway, jumping at the sigh of Alex in sweatpants and a tee shirt, lazily walking up the stairs with a mug of something in his hand. Alex chuckled at the sight of John gripping his chest, wondering if the guy had ever lived with anyone else.

"Don't worry, just me," Alex assured, sipping his mug filled to the brim with sleepy time tea and four ambien crushed up and mixed in. Alex hated swallowing pills, but was perfectly capable of drugging himself.

"Coffee?" John asked slowly.

Alex shook his head, holding up the mug a bit as he stepped off the final step and onto the main floor next to John. "My special sleep concoction. Just some meds crushed up into my tea. I hate pills."

"Ah, well, I'm gonna shower. Thank you, really," John said honestly. "I don't, I don't know what I would've done tonight if you hadn't..."

Alex shrugged. "Long as you don't try to, oh, I dunno, kill me, you can stay as long as you need. This house is too big to have just me in it."

A small smile formed on John's lips, though it was too dark in the dimly lit hallway for Alex to tell. "Well, I gotta shower. Thank you, really."

"Any time," Alex stated, smiling and walking to his room, leaving John to shower.

Pavlov's greatest and most well-known achievement is making dogs salivate at the sound of a bell, due to the idea that they will get something to eat. It's quite an amazing experiment really, rewiring the brain to automatically associate one thing with another thing entirely. The second greatest and less known achievement of the Pavlov effect is John Laurens getting hotter than a bitch in heat the moment he's in the shower. For the past five years, the only alone time he'd had was when he showered, so of course, he used it to his advantage. For a while, he'd have to get himself worked up in the shower, thinking of some porno he watched in his college nights, but after a few weeks, the sound would trigger something inside John and them, bam, boner.

"Fuck," John whispered quietly, one hand on the tiled wall of Alex's bathroom, the other hand stroking himself, running his thumb over the tip. He wasn't exactly without shame about jerking off in a strangers bathroom, but he was allowed some time for himself.

When John finished the shower, somehow finding time to wash his hair between the mix of curses and the average orgasm, He dried himself off, wrapping a towel around his waist and walking into his room, where Phillip was still playing. John slipped on some sweatpants and a tee shirt, feeling his eyes drooping and dread build as he sees the dreaded eight thirty flash over his phone. He would get five hours of sleep at this rate, as long as he went to bed as soon as Phillip's story, which was another chapter from Fantastic Mister Fox, a book they had been reading. John believed it very important that his kid got to read to, so, John always made sure he had a new book. Whether that involved doing a book exchange with one of his friends, buying a used book, or borrowing from the library, he always made sure Phillip was being read to.

"Okay, time for bedtime story," John said, sitting down.

"Ten more minutes?" Phillip asked, not looking up from his game.

"Ten more minutes and no bedtime story, or you turn that thing off and I read," John negotiated, knowing that if he had to wait ten minutes for this kid, he'd been out like a light. Being a parent was probably the biggest test on John's willpower. It was hard to say no to Phillip's big brown eyes, staring up at him with a bottom lip pouted out- a perfect trap for anyone who hasn't been raising kids. It seems kids can manage themselves three years any time they want something, automatically becoming cuter and nicer, but John learned real quick that he couldn't let Phillip have anything he wanted. John gave Phillip a lot, so John was fine with saying no to a cookie without a second thought.

Phillip groaned and turned off the iPad, handing it to John who put it on the nightstand. Then, Phillip curled up next to John, resting his head on John's shoulder and listening as John read the story to him. It didn't take long for Phillip to doze off, and John was only half awake as he double checked his alarm, then turned off the lamp and passed out as soon as his head his the pillow, falling into a deep sleep.

"Papa, papa," is what John woke up too. John groaned quietly, opening his eyes. He had been a very heavy sleeper until he had Phillip. The first night he spent with Phillip, alone in his college dorm, he woke up at every single stir Phillip made. He had been careful with the boy, known exactly how to do everything because, instead of his college classes, John had gone to parenting classes. Instead of his textbooks, he read baby books.

"Mmf, what?" John asked quietly.

"I gotta go potty," Phillip said, tugging on John's tee shirt.

"Then go potty," John mumbled, his eyes not even open.

"I dunno where the bathroom is," Phillip told his father, sitting there plainly as he felt the risk of soiling his pajamas increase.

John sighed, standing up and taking Phillip's hand to lead him to the bathroom. He turned on the light, squinting a bit as he helped Phillip sit up on the toilet. He really needed to buy a stool, because the last one they had broke and John hadn't had the time or money to buy a new one, so this had been the routine.

When Phillip finished, John flushed the toilet lead him back to the room, watching Phillip go right back to sleep. Groaning, John checked his charging phone to see that it was one thirty in the morning. He could either go back to sleep for half an hour, or wake up and figure out how to get to his job from here, how to work the coffee machine, and most likely red eye it through his entire shift at the bar. He never liked having to leave Phillip alone, but John would get home around eight, wake up Phillip and make him breakfast, then take him to preschool.

Sighing, John sat up, hunched over and sitting there, his eyes half opened, seriously debating what to do. Finally, though, John pushed himself out of bed, turning off his alarm and going to the duffle bag, pulling out the clothes he needed by feel. Since he and Phillip lived in a studio, John did a lot of things in the dark. It was easy for John at this point. So, John pulled out his black skinny jeans, his black shirt, and some clean boxers and socks. He stumbled into the bathroom, getting dressed and running his fingers through his hair a couple of times before putting it up in a bun again.

John made his way downstairs to the kitchen, turning on a dim light and stumbling around. He tsked at Alex's left out and open Ambien, closing it and putting it up in the cabinet, then wiping some of the white dust off the counter and into his hand to be brushed into the sink. John opened the cabinet and almost cried out in joy at the first thing he saw. A French press, a cheap way of making coffee that John had perfected over the years. He pulled it down and put coffee grounds in it, boiling water on the stove and adding that too. It didn't take long for it to be done, and John poured it into a mug from set mugs that Alex had. Alex had a lot of stuff, but none of it had emotional value, it was all completely uniform. It was the kind of dishware, the kind of home, that would be seen in a magazine. He had some art up, but no real family photos. It just seemed so quiet and empty, lonely.

John found some paper and a pen, writing a note that held his number and a request for a text. After that, John placed his mug, as well as the French press, in the dishwasher that was half filled with dirty dishes, before googling the nearest subway station and a train that would take him where he needs to be. He had never really lived around this area, so it was a bit new to him, but he could manage it. He also stole an apple off of Alex's counter, taking a bite as he slipped his phone in his pocket and left for work.

The subway station was a couple blocks down, though the walk was fine to John. The night air woke him up and the sound of traffic tricked his brain into thinking it was daytime. John got to the subway station, and stepped onto train D, not bothering to pay for a ticket, just hopping over the turnstile. The train was full of drunk twenty-year-olds doing the walk of shame back to their dorms to either pass out, have sex, or eat. John couldn't believe that that had been him. That had been him, with his hand down some girls skirt, his lips dancing across her neck as her face turned red on the train ride to the dorms. Hot, alcohol-infused breath mixing as important things were forgotten and less important things were prioritized.

He arrived at his stop and got off, just arriving into the bar as his 3 am shift starts. It was a grimy club, female dancers up on poles, making money. John and his friend Sally always had the same shift though, so often times she would come over and grab a water when John arrived. She got off earlier since she started earlier, so that hour of six to seven was quite lonely, but John didn't mind.

"Hey, John," one of his coworkers, Topher, said as John put on his half apron and step behind the bar.

"Hey, Toph, it's busy here," John mumbled, looking around at all the people.

Topher shrugged, filling up a drink. "At least you don't work tomorrow. Saturday mornings are the worst."

John laughed, as he listened to some guy tell him he wanted a shot of bourbon. John poured the shot, handing it to the guy, then continuing to go around, taking people's orders, catching Sally's eye as she bent real far backward to accept a wad of cash between her teeth. Sally wasn't the biggest fan of her job, but she had the body to do it, and she needed the money.

"Hey, Johnny, water with a bit a lemon?" She said, taking a quick break to talk to John and rehydrate. "I've been dancing for a while and I'm starting to cramp up."

"That's not ever good," John said, using the specially filtered water he was supposed to only give to the rich customers, instead of the tap water everyone else gets. "Are you eating enough protein?"

"Probably not," Sally mumbled, taking the extended water glass and sipping it. "Meat is too expensive. That's how broke I am."

"Oh, eggs and tuna mixed together and cooked, then mixed with black beans," John said instantly. "A bit of salt and pepper and some cheese on top of that, and you're golden. Trust me, I eat it whenever I can."

"Thanks," Sally laughed. "Hey, Herc told me you were staying at someone's house. Since when are you cheating on us with another friend?"

John rolled his eyes. "I met the guy last night. He was originally just gonna fix my car, then he told me that it was dead, which I honestly didn't expect, despite the duct tape, then he offered to let me stay with him. He's got a big house, real nice. I told Herc just in case I went missing or something, but he seems pretty normal. Lonely, but normal."

"You gonna get some dick?" Sally asked, sipping her water and letting a smirk form on her red painted lips.

John scrunched up his nose. "He's like, forty I think. He definitely ain't young."

"Ooh, sugar daddy for this Splenda baby," Sally giggled, ignoring a sharp hand on her uncovered ass. It was pretty normal for her at this point, seeing as her work uniform was a thong and nothing else, but John didn't care that Sally was standing right in front of him, a female presenting nipples out in the open. John may have gotten around in his prime, but he knew Sally was fully lesbian, and he wasn't some creep.

"The only thing Splenda and I have in common is the number zero, which is the balance of my bank account right now," John snorted. "Jesus, maybe I should get a sugar daddy."

"Well, you are living in a rich guy's house right now. Maybe you could fall on top of him, totally naked, and beg him to take you right then and there in a fiery storm of passion and lust-filled greed," Sally suggested.

"First of all, why am I always a bottom in all your fantasies? I don't care if the guy is paying off my student loans, he can bend over and grab his ankles or we can stick to oral," John informed her. "Second of all, I don't even know if he swings my way, so there's also that problem."

"Please, John, you could turn any straight man gay," Sally laughed. "I gotta get back to work, but please try and get some dick, for your sake."

John rolled his eyes and went back to bartending, sneaking himself a few virgin expressotini's so he could stay awake, getting a text from Alex but ignoring it since he just needed the guy's number. He was more than happy that he got to sleep in tomorrow. He hated that his day had just started as he rode back to Alex's place on the train, leaning against the bar he was holding onto and trying to stay awake. He didn't like taking seats, because he was young and healthy and perfectly capable of standing, though he wished he could sit down.

The walk back to the house was quick, and he startled Alex when he walked through the front door. Alex, who was in a big white fluffy robe, making coffee with his big coffee machine, jumped at the sight of a haggard John walking through the door, spilling coffee grounds onto him and the counter.

"Morning," John mumbled. "Could you save me a cup? I gotta go wake up Phillip."

"Wait, where were you?" Alex asked, looking John's colorless outfit up and down.

John shrugged, beginning to walk up the stairs. "I was at my first shift of the day. Starts at three am, going until seven. Please save me a cup."

"Alright," Alex nodded, deciding to make a whole pot instead of the half that usually satisfies him.

John went up to the room he was staying in, seeing Phillip still asleep. He got changed into his loose joggers he got at Target from the bargain bin, as well as a loose tee shirt. He then pulled out an outfit for Phillip. Some jeans, clean underwear, and a tee shirt. John could always pride himself in the fact that he and his kid were always washed, and so were their clothes. John had on occasion used the shower in the dance studio, and the only place he went for laundry was the laundromat, but all his clothes were clean and so was his kid.

"Time to wake up, buddy," John said, gently shaking Philip.

"Meh," Phillip groaned, rolling over.

John sighed and began dressing Phillip. This is something they did often. Phillip would go limp, half asleep, leaving John to dress him for the day. John thought it was a bit extra, but he knew two things. One, the kid was going to grow out of it. John did the exact same thing with his mother, but stopped around the age of nine. Two, this was John's kid, of course he was extra.

"Got this little guy up," John smiled, coming downstairs with Phillip on his hip after getting him to brush his teeth. "Alex, you got any food? Something he could eat for breakfast?"

Alex stood, thinking. "I got cereal and milk, eggs, fruit, beets, some leftover Chinese food, coffee, but that's about it."

"You need to go grocery shopping," John stated, setting Phillip on a stool at the counter and finding the cereal and milk. "I'm broke as hell and my fridge is fuller than yours."

"I just went grocery shopping!" Alex defends.

John sighed, pulling a bowl from the shelf. "You need to go grocery shopping with someone who knows how normal humans work. Do any of your friends have kids? Or are they married? Or do they even have a dog?"

"You're my friend, you have a kid," Alex stated, giving John a plain face.

"You want me, the guy you just met, to take you grocery shopping?" John said, looking Alex up and down to see if he was serious as he poured Phillip's cereal.

Alex shrugged. "You're the one who said I needed to do it. I'm fine with the amount of food here right now, but if you're going to be living here, we should probably have food that you like too. You know, kid stuff, like, uh, um, chocolate."

John sighed, giving the cereal to Phillip so the kid could eat. "This is temporary."

"You could stay here though," Alex insisted. "I wouldn't charge you rent or anything, and it's a big house, so we wouldn't be on top of each other. You said you went to college, right? It would be like a roommate, but the dorm is huge, in the middle of New York City, and has a pool."

"You have a pool?" Phillip said, looking up from his cereal.

"And a hot tub," Alex smiled proudly.

John stared at Alex. "Do you smoke cigarettes?"

Alex shook his head.

"Heavy drinker?" John continued.

"Not even a light one," Alex answered, remembering the last drink he ever had at age twenty-eight, a solid six years ago.

"Do you come home at three am with someone and then very loudly do the hanky panky?" John continued, thinking about every roommate he's ever had and everything he doesn't want Phillip to be exposed to.

"I'm gonna be honest with you right now," Alex chuckled. "I haven't done the hanky panky in like, four years."

This part surprised John a bit, but he continued with his interrogation. "Parties?"

Alex shook his head. "I don't want my house to get trashed. I'll have a few friends come over, but they mostly stay for dinner, argue with me about politics, and leave."

"Jail record?" John asked slowly.

"Clean as a whistle," Alex answered honestly. "Too busy serving in Afghanistan to get into trouble. I served from age eighteen to age twenty-seven, then got into politics. I have the occasional tabloid article spewing some nonsense, but nothing illegal."

"And you have a hot tub?" John continued, peering out of the kitchen window into the backyard.

"A nice one, too," Alex said. "I keep it clean. Same with the pool, same with my house. I can make a bed, and I always close the toilet lid. I can't cook for the life of me, but I know every takeout place that serves good food in the lower east side area."

"You realize I have a kid, right?" John said. "That means spilled juice, toys, late nights, messy eating, lots of talking and singing, especially the singing, and that small shelf of old French noir movies you have? Might get filled up with animated Disney movies. You need to know that my kid comes first, no matter what. If I feel like this is an unsafe place for him, I will pack up and go. Remember that while you may be able to make a bed in three minutes, I can backup all my belongings in five, make it look like I was never here."

"I got it," Alex stated. "I've never been too good with kids, but I can get stains out of the carpet pretty easily, and I wouldn't mind the noise, or my house looking like an actual home. I've only been living here for about a year and a half, and I guess I haven't spent much time in it."

John sighed, looking around. "If I lived here, I don't think I would ever leave."

"Well, you do live here," Alex stated. "I mean, unless all those questions about my hanky panky and whatnot were for nothing."

John looked back to Alex, smiling a bit. "Sure. I'll stay with you. I've had roommates before, and I'll do it again. This Saturday, we're going grocery shopping."

"Oh, I should probably tell you, since I want to be totally honest here," Alex stated, walking over to a tall safe that rested under the stairs, visible from the kitchen. "I have guns in the house. More than just a handgun. It's my war weaponry."

"Guns?" John, a very pro-gun control person, hesitated, walking over to the safe.

Alex nodded. "Yes. I keep them in this safe, and, in case something happens, the password is-" Alex's voice lowered so Phillip couldn't even come close to hearing. "Seventeen seventy-six." Alex pressed in the numbers and opened it. "There are seven guns in here, and if you ever see that this is open and there are less, I'm gonna give you a few numbers to call, alright?" Alex closes the safe, showing John that once it's closed, it can't be opened again. "Phillip can't get into it without the password and the upper body strength of a grown man. It's very rare that this safe is ever opened, so I really wouldn't worry about it. I just want to be honest with you, just in case you ever need protection, or something happens. Is that okay?"

"Why do you have guns?" John asked quietly as the walked back over to the counter where Phillip was drinking his cereal milk.

Alex shrugged. "PTSD. I get panicky when I'm not packing something, because while I served, you had to carry around something. I never go out and use them, although I know how. Look, I'm not some crazy gun nut who thinks I should buy out gun stores because I can. Those are the weapons I brought home from war. I do believe in gun control. I just, I know some people get sketchy about guns, so I didn't want you to be blindsided or something if we ever get an intruder and I pull out an MK eighteen."

John nodded. "Okay, alright. Is that it? Do you have any drugs you've hidden?"

"Oh, no, I haven't hidden any drugs, but I do have medication in that cabinet," Alex said, pointing to the cabinet John put the Ambien away into this morning.

"I know, I closed your Ambien and put it away, then wiped away the power on the counter," John deadpanned, looking to Alex.

Alex smiled sheepishly. "Whoops."

"I don't think some Ambien is gonna kill Phillip, but please try to keep your medications up and put away," John requested. "Pip, go upstairs and get your backpack, while I start the..."

"Okay, papa," Phillip said, smiling as he went upstairs.

"Car," John finished, thinking about how he was going to transport his kid to and from daycare. "Alex, can, can you give us a ride or something? Just to Phillip's daycare, and I can walk to work from there. I know you need to be at your work at nine and-"

"If we leave within the next ten minutes, then I can drop off Phillip at his daycare, you at your job, and get to work in time," Alex said. "You're gonna need a car."

"If I'm not paying rent then I'll probably be able to save up for something from a college kid," John said. "And maybe I can just like, Uber it or something. I don't want to bother you or anything, I'm just a little thrown off this morning. I'll figure stuff out on Saturday."

"It's okay, it's not a bother. If I can ask, which job are you going to right now?" Alex questioned, rolling up the sleeves on his white dress shirt a bit.

"I'm a dance teacher," John told Alex. "I teach classes from nine to three, then I have a two-hour break, then I go to work at the fast food restaurant we met at last night. I pick up house sitting jobs whenever I can, and really I do anything for some petty cash."

"Anything?" Alex asked, looking at John with wide eyes, obviously asking a very specific question but not wanting to ask it out loud.

John rolled his eyes. "It's never gotten to that, but if I needed to, yeah, anything."

"Wow, I could never, I couldn't-"

John cut him off. "Well, you're not a parent. I would do anything to keep my child safe and fed, and I'm not ashamed to say that. I'd have to stoop pretty far down to get there, but yeah, I'd do it. In a heartbeat."

"I mean, I guess, I just don't see the appeal of being a babysitter," Alex chuckled, immediately bringing them out of the more serious air that they had falling into.

John laughed as Phillip came down the stairs. "I'm a twenty-four seven babysitter, Alex."

"Oh, yeah," Alex chuckled as the three of them walked out to Alex's big black SUV. Phillip's car seat was still in there, so John just buckled him up and sat in the front seat, moving the CD he had left there last night. When Alex got in, he ejected the Kendrick Lamar CD, silently telling John that it was way too early to listen to that. John respectfully obliged, letting Alex turn on NPR, much to Phillip's distaste.

"This is boring," Phillip groaned as they pulled into the road.

"Hey, buddy, we listened to what we liked last night, so it's Alex's turn to pick the tunes, even if it is just talking," John said quickly. "Alex is being very nice and driving us to your daycare, so he can choose the music. We can listen to our tunes later, alright? Maybe find some music all three of us can agree on, fair?"

"I guess," Phillip mumbled, looking out the window.

John leaned back. "Hey, my shift only goes from four to six tonight, so that's when I'll be home. Can you order something for dinner? Something more than pizza."

Alex nodded. "What time does Phillip get out of daycare? I can pick him up if you want."

John paused, biting his lip. "He gets out at four, but I can pick him up and he'll hang out with me. It's nothing personal, I just, I don't trust you with my child yet, and you said it yourself, you don't know how to handle kids. Just, I can get him."

"Are you gonna be able to get him before your work starts?" Alex asked.

John shrugged. "I'll figure it out."

"Okay, where's Phillip's daycare?" Alex asked, coming to a stop light and pulling up the GPS in his car. "I still use GPS to get around here, because I'll be damned if I remember every street in this whole grid system."

"Seven west and tenth street," John stated, typing it in the GPS as Alex started driving again. "La Petite Ecole."

"Shit, your kid is going to like, a fancy ass preschool," Alex said.

John shrugged. "My son is going to get the best education he can. He's learning French, and hopefully, he'll continue learning it." John looked back to Phillip. "Phillip, sweetie, do you like learning French?"

"Oui!" Phillip said happily, the accent off but his heart in the right place.

Alex smiling turning down the radio a bit. "Oh, tu parles français? C'est une très belle langue, n'est-ce pas?"

Phillip paused, thinking, then looked at Alex. "What?"

Alex chuckled. "Don't worry, kid, it's not my first language either. The learning curve is real quick, and I started when I was your age too."

"You know French?" John asked slowly.

"It's my second language, English is my third, Spanish is my first," Alex explained. "I usually type of most of my documents in French or Spanish, then translate them. I'm much so much smarter in other languages. My English is, well, it's a work in progress. John, do you speak French?"

John shook his head. "ASL and Spanish. Phillip's learning a bit of ASL from me, and he catches onto it pretty quickly."

"Why ASL?" Alex asked, looking over at John from the road as he neared Phillip's daycare. "Like, I mean, I do think people should learn it, but why?"

"Dance is all about communication without words," John explained. "Sometimes, talking can ruin everything. I prefer not to use words."

Alex arrived at Phillip's daycare and John got a few side-eyes from the other parents as he pulled Phillip out of the big shiny car and kissed him gently on the head. Parents had always been so skeptical of him not only being a young single parent but a young single dad. John never paid attention to them, just sent Phillip on in, then got back into the car, typing the address of the dance studio he teaches at, then leaning back.

"You got a lot of looks," Alex noticed.

John shrugged. "I'm not exactly an ideal parent, and people get curious of that, wondering if I neglect Phillip or something, especially with my three jobs. I don't. I mean, there are times I have to ask a friend to pick up Phillip, which honestly might be what I do today, but I mean, I'm there for my kid. I'm not leaving him home alone for hours on end while I go out and party."

"Hey, no, I believe you," Alex said, nodding. "You are so dedicated to your kid, more dedicated to, well, anything, than I've ever seen a twenty-four-year-old be. I mean, I don't know a one who would work three jobs just so their kid can go to nice daycare. I mean, I've known you less than twenty-four hours, and just, the way you spoke in court, the way you've talked about Phillip, I can tell you really love him."

John had been appeased. "Thank you."

Alex dropped John off at work and drove off to his own job, John heading into the changing area, opening up his locker and changing into his loose exercise pants, and a muscle tee. He pulled out his ballet shoes and made his way into the room he taught in, passing a very noisy jazz class. The entire floor of the big building was owned by a woman named Martha Curtis. She'd hired John while John was still in college, and hadn't fire him when she found out he dropped out. She thought he was a good dancer, and a good teacher, so why fire him? John taught contemporary ballet to ages twelve and up, and honestly? He loved it. A lot of the kids he saw were really incredible dancers. They reminded John of himself. He remembered being a fifteen-year-old kid, sneaking out to the large empty barn with his worn ballet shoes and dancing all night, falling asleep in his cheerios at breakfast.

"Good morning," said another teacher at the studio, Maria, sashaying in as John scrolled through the iPod he kept at the studio. All his music was on it. Whether or not that music had been obtained legally was not for him to say. What mattered was that it was there.

"Hey, Mars," John greeted, selecting Ophelia by The Lumineers. "How was your night?"

Maria started moving gracefully with the music-she taught traditional ballet. "It was fine. I heard about the vote, are you okay?"

John sighed, reaching down and grabbing his ankle, pulling it up to stretch a bit. "I'm okay. I found a roommate who's not making me pay rent because he owns the house. Says the company is enough."

"He knows you've got a kid, right?" Maria asks, doing a small leep.

John nods, taking her hand and beginning to do a ballet-like dance to the music with her. "Yeah. He works in politics, a public figure. Alexander Hamilton, you ever heard of him?"

Maria nods. "I met him once at a big dance thing. He was there because he needed to look good or something. Seemed nice, a bit standoffish, but not dickish, or whatever."

John lifted her by the hips to continue the dance they seemed to perfect a little more every morning. "He's a veteran. Do you know how old he is? I mean, I know he's not my age, but I can't really tell. Late thirties maybe?"

Maria shook her head. "No, he's thirty-four. Why? You interested?"

"Yeah, totally," John snorted.

"Hey, there's a cool thing coming up, you should do it with me," Maria stated, her leg balanced on John's shoulder as dipped her back.

"Thanks for being clear about what you want so that I can formulate a response," John quipped, stepping away from her, his hand on her chest, waiting for her to take his hands so he could continue dancing with her. They met in college, in dance class, and always had good chemistry to dance together. They were paired up a lot, and often, when they would practice, they caught up. Even after John dropped out, they would still do this at work before classes.

"No, it's like, a big thing, where we go and we dance at the Met and scouters come to look for us, and if they like us, we could go to Broadway," Maria stated, pressing her back to John's chest, ready for John to spin her out again before dipping her.

"How likely is it that we'll even get the chance to dance for scouters?" John asked skeptically, spinning her out, then pulling her back in, both of them stepping back as they continue dancing.

"Not very, but it would be nice to try," Maria sighed. "Have a chance at a better job."

"Hey, Mr. Laurens!" A student, Franny, chimed as she entered the room, not phased at all by John and Maria dancing. Most of the time, the first couple of students who showed up got to see John and Maria dance. For a good long while, a lot of the students thought Maria and John were dating, and Phillip was their son, but Maria and John were always quick to do away with that rumor.

"Hello, Franny," John greeted sweetly, lifting Maria onto his shoulders before sinking to his knees and ducking his head so Maria could slide off and roll across the floor before jumping up and leaping in John's arms.

The song ended and John laughs, popping his back a bit as he looked over the kids that had started to come in. People were stretching, just like John has them to before each class. He always tells them to stretch every part of their bodies, regardless of how they do it. He liked his classes. Everyone was dedicated, happy, and kind.

"Okay, class, we have a recital coming up, so have you been practicing at home? Be honest," John announced, stretching his arms a bit and looking over half the students with their hands raised and the other half with their hands not raised. "Alright, well, I want you to know that it will show in the recital. We all improve or none of us improve, why?"

"Because we dance together," the group of students chanted back.

"There we go. Okay, should we start with Havana, Bud Like You, or Ride?" John said, pulling his leg up again to stretch. He got a mix of voices, but the main one he could hear was Havana. He smiled because that was his favorite. He did really well sculpting the choreography for this, despite his limited time. Maria really helped, and so did his boss, Martha. This job paid pretty well, and all of the paychecks went to rent and Phillip's education. Well, no longer rent.

The class got through Havana, and John was very happy to see how well they were doing. He could definitely tell who didn't practice, but he was very proud of how well the class was doing overall. They had a few more weeks until the recital, and with practice every day, they'd be just fine. Most of these kids had devoted their lives, and honestly, John could really see how much they loved it. He could see it in the way they would ask for extra help, their parents would pay him for a class dedicated to helping their kid. John loved his job, and he loved seeing these kids succeed, though it made him sad to realize that they were going to get the life that he'd wanted for himself. Still, John helped them, did everything he could to make sure they succeeded.

John's first class ended and he sat down, taking his ballet shoes off for a second and rubbing his feet. They still got sore sometimes, but that had less to do with overworking himself in dance, and more to do with overworking himself in general.

"Take 'em, Johnny," Maria said, walking in and handing him two painkillers and a bag of baby carrots. "Dancers can't starve, and I know for a damn fact that you haven't eaten enough today. I can see it in your thighs."

"What do my thighs have to do with anything?" John protested, swallowing the painkillers and taking a bite of one of the baby carrots.

"You don't got anywhere else to lose anything," Maria stated. "When you lose weight, I see it in your thighs. You gotta eat up, baby. Get your sugar daddy to get you some food. You look sickly today."

John shrugged. "I've just been stressed. I don't think I really got dinner last night, and I had an apple this morning, but that's about it, besides this. Sugar daddy is gonna order in tonight I hope, and then tomorrow we're going grocery shopping. That reminds me, I gotta call Sally, ask her to pick my boy up. Ugh, Maria, can you just like, murder me gently?"

"Don't do that," the sweet voice of Martha Curtis chimed, walking into John's classroom. "You're one of our best modern ballet dance teachers. We need you."

John smiled. "Thanks, Ms. Curtis."

"I saw you get dropped off in a big shiny car, you wanna tell me who I have to get with to get that kind of treatment," Martha laughed.

"Leader of the budget division for New York state," Maria teased.

John rolled his eyes, nudging Maria as he began to put his ballet shoes back on. "He's my roommate now, and he offered me a ride, so I took it. I keep Phillip off the subway as much as I can. Like, I can handle the crack addicts who threaten to eat my face off, been there done that, but I don't want a drug addict threatening my son just yet. I wanna save that for his seventh birthday. That'll be my present, a reason for therapy and some childhood trauma."

"John is the only parent who knows where it's at," Maria laughed, stealing a baby carrot.

Maria chuckled. "I just wanted to check on you. I heard the news about the vote, and I heard your speech. I wanted to make sure you aren't living out of your car. You can always crash with me, I have an extra bedroom."

"Thanks, Mars," John said, waving his hand. "I'm fine. I got a rich sugar daddy roommate. Also, I can safely say that old Bessy is retired. She died last night after my shift. That's how I met Alex. He offered to help me with my car and then after five minutes of him staring at the engine, he told me I should come to stay with him."

"Is he nice?" Maria asked.

John shrugged, popping his back and standing up. "Sort of? I dunno, he's not not nice. I can't tell if he's just being polite right now or not. He's a bit stuck in his ways, but I think I can break him. I mean, the guy exclusively listens to the news or classical music. Maria, your main music for dance is classical and I can still rock out with you to Kendrick Lamar."

"You can break him," Martha laughed as a few students came in for John's next class. "If you can get Phillip to sit on the couch in the break room for seven hours, then you can get him to listen to other music. We should leave you to get to your class, but stay safe. Feel free to raid the pantry if you need to."

"Thanks," John said.

"Alright, don't overwork yourself, love you, John," Maria smiled, leaving the room.

"Love you too, Mars," John replied. He looked to his class, more advanced, stretching in ways that look painful to John, who can bend in practically every way. "Alright, class lets get it started in here."


	2. Hercules is gonna have an asthma attack is Lafayette doesn't cut it out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the mood playlist for this is on Spotify. It's called A Night At The Ballet and it's by the user calliopethemuse (the username is weird but I was really into muses when I made the account.

"You know, John," Ben said, "the dancing really pays off."

John, legs shaking and eyes down, felt beads of cold sweat forming on his back as the unfaltering gaze of his manager raked over his skin. He had his pants off, his tee shirt covering his chest. He felt shaky as he pulled his clothes back on, trying to cover himself any way possible. Maybe now that he wasn't paying rent, he could quit this fucking job and stop getting devoured by the manager's eyes.

"Thank you," John muttered, slipping on the black Vans he'd gotten in a rummage sale for a dollar. He really just wanted to get out of there. Alex had said he was gonna pick John up, texting him when he's here, and since Sally couldn't get Phillip, Hercules was gonna swing by the house when he got an affirming text from John to drop off Phillip.

John jumped at the sound of a notification, pulling his phone out and learning that Alex was in front of the restaurant. John brushed past his manager, out of the building and into Alex's car, sitting back and sighing, then pulling out his phone and informing Herc that he'd be home in about twenty minutes. Then looked up to Alex, who hadn't started driving yet, and was staring at John expectantly.

"What?" John mumbled, turning down the heat on the seat and cranking up the AC.

"Uh, your kid maybe?" Alex said slowly.

John grinned, understanding. "Oh, no, he's at a friend's. Hercules, is gonna drop him off after we get home."

"So this is John," came a thickly accented voice from the back seat.

John screamed, jumping in his seat and turning around to see a man sitting in the back seat, smiling proudly at the fright he gave John. He was at least as tall as John, wearing a navy blue suit and a golden tie. His skin looked like hot chocolate, and his hair was put up in a simple bun. He looked professional, put together, and smug as shit.

"Who the fuck are you?" John gasped, still scared, his eyes wide.

"Salut," the tall man laughed. "Je m'appelle Lafayette. You must be John. I heard you speak at yesterday's trial, and I must say, I am truly sorry for what happened. I would like you to know that I did not vote to repeal that bill. I think it is very important for single parents to receive financial aid. Alex and I worked exclusively with another friend we have to work on getting this brought back to court."

John paused, staring at this man for a second, eyes still wide. "Thank you."

"I apologize for the fright," Lafayette continued as John slowly turned to buckle his seatbelt, and Alex began driving. "I seem to sneak up on people more than I wish."

"It's fucking true," Alex started, chuckling. "He'll come into my office and sit down and begin working and I'll look up from my laptop ten minutes later and scream. He just, he doesn't make any noise, and it pisses me off. I once almost decked him for sneaking up next to me. He's like freaking Hermione Granger."

"My hair is better than hers," Lafayette stated. "So, John, you have a son? Tell me about him. I have heard very little from the parents affected by this, but I wish to."

"Oh, Phillip?" John said, smiling. "He's, he's so cool. He's such a great kid, so happy and loud. He's pretty well behaved. Well, as well behaved as a five-year-old can be. But yeah, he's so great, especially with my financial situation. He never makes a fuss if I can't get him something. He's just, he's my best friend, and I know that probably really pathetic to be best friends with a five-year-old, but, I dunno, he really is great. It's been him and I against the world since he was bored. I have no family helping me, his mom isn't in the picture, it's just me and him."

"May I ask what happened to his mom?" Lafayette inquired.

John shrugged. "She got pregnant, told me she didn't want him. I said I would take him. Her name isn't even on his birth certificate. She pays no child support, she doesn't even keep in contact with me. I'm not mad at her, though. She was an art major, so there's no way she could've afforded a kid. She didn't want anything to do with Phillip, but I did, so I'm not gonna call her a dead beat. She was really a great person, just not a mother."

"Did you help her through the pregnancy?" Lafayette went on.

A nod came from John, smiling. "Oh yeah. She moved into my dorm because my roommate moved in with his girlfriend or something. I helped her through the pregnancy, I was there at the birth, and then, two days after, I took Phillip back to my dorm and stayed up all night with him. I was only twenty, but I knew what I was doing. By the time Phillip was born, I had perfected diapering, holding babies, feeding, anything."

"You sound like you really love your son," Lafayette observed.

"God, I do," John laughed breathily. "Not to be cliche or anything, but I'd die for him. He's my pride and joy. God, I really am the stereotypical sappy parent, aren't I?"

Lafayette smiled. "That is not a bad thing. It means you love your child, which is good. If you do not mind John, Alex invited me to dinner, since my house is often times as empty as his."

John shrugged. "Alex can invite anyone he wants over. I'm only his roommate."

"Who doesn't pay rent," Alex pointed out.

"So you're just two dudes, living together," Lafayette said, nodding. "You construct intricate rituals which allow you to touch the skin of other men."

"While that was quite beautiful, I don't do..." John gasped, his eyes widening. "Dance."

"You dance?" Lafayette said, a smile spreading over his lips.

John nodded. "Yes. I teach on Broadway. It doesn't pay for me to stay off the streets, obviously, but it's the one job I have that I like."

"What kind of dance?" Lafayette continued excitedly, almost childlike as Alex neared the house, not minding that he only had the two of them talking to listen to.

"Contemporary ballet, modern dance sort of. It's a bitch on the feet, but it's my passion," John went on. "I've been dancing since I was, what, nine? I was going to college for dance. Not exactly the best thing to have on the resume, college dance dropout, but it was my life. Still is. I teach classes six days a week. It's the second best thing in my life."

"So you must be really flexible," Lafayette laughed, leaning back.

John turned around, his lips in a tight light and his eyes narrowed. "I don't appreciate being mocked."

Lafayette sat up. "Oh, no, I'm not, I just, I'm sorry. It was just an insinuation."

John paused, swallowing hard. "I am."

A smirk couldn't help but come over Lafayette's lips. "So." Lafayette leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "How flexible?"

"I'll show you when we get back to Alex's house," John said, winking. "Kidding, kidding. I will show you in like, a way I could show children."

"Alex, I like him," Lafayette laughed, leaning forward to rest his head against the side of Alex's seat. "I think he's fun."

Alex just rolled his eyes, smiling over at John, asking him to excuse this wild, older French man. "I think he's cool too."

After a little while, they pulled up to the house, John getting out and excusing himself to shower, not only to get the sweat from the dance studio and the grease from the burger place off of him, but also the stare of his manager. Like always, John washes up, indulges in his sweet Pavlov, and then changes into his sweatpants, loving how the fabric softly hugs his legs while still being breathable, and then a tee shirt. When he gets downstairs, Lafayette is sitting on the counter, eating old Chinese food out of a white take-out box with wooden chopsticks while Alex began knocking pills out of a bottle, a cup of cold coffee next to him.

"Do something flexible," Lafayette commanded, grinning at John. The older French man, thirty-eight, was excited by anything. He had a childlike wonder under his suave personality. So smooth, yet so curious. It was one of the reasons Alex considered Lafayette to be his closest friend.

John, rolling his eyes, put on hand on the counter and then, with the other, grabbed his ankle and pulled his leg up so it made a one hundred and eighty degree angle with his other leg, chuckling a bit when Lafayette tapped Alex's shoulder, eyes wide. Alex turned around and almost choked on the medication water that he was drinking, not expecting to see John with his legs as far apart as they could be in his kitchen.

"You're amazing!" Lafayette cheered, coming down from the counter.

"That made my balls hurt just looking at that," Alex mumbled, swallowing the last of his cloudy water that the ground up his four pills into. "How do you do that?"

John shrugged, grabbing an apple off the counter, taking a bite. "I've been dancing since I was nine. I've had practice. Anyway, I've always been flexible. It's in my genes. Tall, skinny, flexible. It's actually a genetic trait that you inherit, so I'm just lucky."

"You know, that's actually really interesting," Lafayette started, leaning against the counter. "Because I used to date this guy, his name was Jean, and he was really flexible, and he and I worked at it and worked at it, but I literally could never do the splits."

John was about to talk more, but a knocking came from the door. John, knowing it was Hercules, went to the door and opened it, only to have two little boys run in, screaming and laughing, Hercules following them.

Hercules was a tall man, but not as tall as John. At five foot eleven, he still towered over most. Muscle lined Hercules' body, his black skin adorned with a few silver brown stretch marks. His curly black hair poofed out, a mini afro almost, standing at an inch or two. He was adorable almost, all smiles and soft insides with no hard outside to cover it. He loved his son, William, who was a troublemaker, excited and energetic, always wanting to do something.

"William! Phillip!" Herc exclaimed, chasing them in, obviously worn out. Paint covered his hands and his large overalls, a few splatters on his cheeks, and he followed them straight into the kitchen, where Lafayette scooped them both up, chuckling victoriously.

"Et tu fais quoi les infants?" Lafayette laughed, spinning the giggling kids around a bit. Phillip seemed to be more energized, which occasionally happened. Most of the time, Phillip seemed to be pretty in his own world, John would notice. More intrested in being quiet, doing something quiet, but his energy seemed to spike when he was with friends. Usually, though, by the time any playdate was over, Phillip was ready to be alone and relaxed again.

"Oh, thank you," Hercules chuckled, wiping his forehead. "They are a handful."

Lafayette looked up at the man, and for a second, he could only stare. Then he quickly made eye contact with an amused Alex before setting the kids down and holding out his hand to Hercules, charm basically coming out his ass. "Bonjour, I am Lafayette. I must say, out of all the faces I've seen in my life, yours is one of, if not the most beautiful one I've seen. Won't you stay for dinner? It would be lovely to get to know someone as gorgeous as yourself."

Hercules, who had practically never been flirted with, was totally caught off guard. "Oh, oh, uh." He thanked God that he was black, because he knew his face would be bright red if he wasn't. "Um, I just, um, John?"

John swooped in to save the very flustered and embarrassed Hercules. "Of course he can stay for dinner." John looked to Herc, knowing how little the dude got out, especially out with people who flirt with him. "Herc, Phillip and William could play, and we could talk to adults who don't have kids for once."

Herc, still terribly flustered and practically melting under Lafayette's amused gaze, nodded. "Yes, yes that sounds fine, I, oh, I'm sorry, I-I wasn't expecting that at all."

John patted Hercules' chest, smiling. "He's an anxious little thing. Lafayette, won't you tell us what line of work you're in?"

"I work as the head of the immigration office in New York state," Lafayette said smoothly as a very amused Alex brought Herc some water with plenty of ice, Alex clearly struggling not to bust a gut. Lafayette smiled, stepping closer to the flustered man. "And what do you do?"

Herc, wide-eyed, could barely form words as he stared at Lafayette. The man was taller than John, smooth skin, a toned and shaped body probably under that suit, which hugged him so nicely. Herc was a mess, only wearing the loose blue overalls he painted in, as well as an old long sleeve shirt for a metal band and a dirty bandana. He was covered in paint from his last class of the day, often forgetting to get the acrylic paint off of him. He was nowhere near Lafayette's level of elegance, class, and just, overall beauty.

"Hercules is an art teacher at Hunter College high school, and he paints and designs and sells clothes in his free time," John stated, once again saving Herc's ass. John pulled out his phone and pulled up a picture of him modeling one of Hercules' designs. Even with the shift quality, you could tell how amazing it was. "His work is so amazing. It's crazy that a single father of a kid that wild could find the time to make something so beautiful."

"Wow," Alex said, nodding. "That is really good. You freelance?"

Herc nodded and pulled his shirt sleeves over his hands. "It's just something to do on the side."

"You're very talented," Lafayette commented, placing his hand on Herc's arm. "I tend to buy my suits from the store, but could I get your number? I would love to buy something from you. Your work, it's quite elegant, and of very good taste. I love this work right here, and I'm sure all your others are just as beautiful, like you."

"Oh!" Herc exclaimed, covering his mouth nervously. "Oh, my uh, my number? My number, my number. John, what's my number?"

"He only gets better," John assured Lafayette, pulling out a receipt from his pocket and writing down Herc's number before handing it to Lafayette.

"I did not know there was better than what I'm looking at right now," Lafayette sighed, gently running his fingers over the strap of Herc's overalls.

"Wow," John commented lightly, nodding.

"Jesus, Laf, we get it, you're flirting," Alex snorted, handing Herc the long overdue cup of ice water, which Herc instantly began drinking. Alex smiled softly at Herc. "Once you get past the initial shock of him being the French creep he is, he's actually really fun-kind of a dork, actually. Don't let this fool you, he's worse than an actual child."

"Oh, hardy har," Lafayette huffed, crossing his arms.

John looked to Alex, deciding it was time to really save Herc's ass. "What should we all have for dinner? I didn't expect this much company, but now we have..."

"Oh, my God, wait, where are our children?" Herc realized, nearly dropping his glass.

"Phillip!" John called out, running upstairs. The living room was empty, but he could hear child voices. Herc was right on John's tail, going up to the third floor and checking all the rooms, John grateful that the kids weren't in Alex's room. They went up the last set of stairs into the attic. The whole floor empty-just a few boxes, and William and Phillip, using their hands as fake guns and pretending to shoot at each other as they ducked behind a few of the boxes.

"Pew! I got you!" William said.

"Nu-uh!" Phillip replied. "Pew! Pew!"

John turned to Hercules, sighing. "We really need to start dating. We're gonna get our asses if we don't get the playing field evened out or something."

"You're telling me? I'm thirty-one and my kid is like two boiled into one. Don't even, with your young joints and body, and your daily exercise. I'm an art teacher, I don't run. I waddle, dude. I'm a man of marshmallow fluff and pasta! That's my diet, John! That's it!"

John turned to Herc, their kids still playing. "You would have scurvy if that was your diet. I know you eat vegetables, Herc. I've seen you eat vegetables."

Herc just smiled, shooting a finger gun. "Also, thanks for saving my ass. The fucking dude with the hair and the face, he's like, he's just, wow, wow- I haven't been flirted with in a while."

"Did you find your kids?" Alex shouted up from the steps.

"Yeah, they're just playing. Can they hang out in your backyard?" John called back.

"It's our backyard, John, you live here too," Alex said matter-of-factly. "Yes, they can. Just, don't let them light anything on fire or piss in my pool. It has a covering on it right now, but still."

"Okay, kids, let's go get the Nerf guns, y'all are going outside!" John announced, producing cheers from Phillip and William. John went into his room, leaving Herc to herd the kids outside, and grabbed two Nerf guns with no bullets. They used to have quite a few bullets, but somehow, all of them were eventually lost, so now the kids just shot at each other. John skipped downstairs, passing a flustered Hercules, and handing the toys to Phillip and William before joining the adults again.

"How does Mexican sound? Dinner-wise." Alex said, holding his iPhone X in his hand.

"Sounds good," John agreed. "I'll take two beef enchiladas, and Phillip will want a chicken quesadilla. Do we have anything besides coffee and water for the kids?"

"I have a bulk package of juice boxes in my car!" Herc offered, saving him from further melting in his overalls. "I'll grab it."

Lafayette chuckled as the man stumbled out of the house. "He's cute."

"I swear, he's not always like that," John laughed. "You just make him nervous. He hasn't been flirted with in years. I'm sure if I smoked him down right now, he'd be normal, but I ain't got any on me and I'm sure neither of you does either."

"You smoke pot?" Lafayette asked, incredibly curious.

"When I can," John shrugged. "I'm not exactly rolling in free time, but if I'm with a few friends and I'm outside and my kid is asleep or at someone else's house, then yeah."

"It's illegal here, you know," Alex pointed out.

"I'm twenty-five," John chuckled as if that explained everything.

"I'm back! I have apple, I have grape, I have fruit punch, and I have cranberry." Herc announced, setting a big plastic package on the counter.

"Ooh, grape!" John said. "Pip is gonna want fruit punch, and William likes, wait, I know this, William likes apple, right?"

Herc opened the plastic, getting out a grape, apple, and fruit punch. "Correct. I'll take the kids their drinks." Herc tossed the small grape juice box to John, then looked to Laf and Alex. "Pure sugar, either of you?"

Lafayette shook his head, smiling. "I'm good."

Herc nodded shyly and headed to the backyard to give the kids their juice boxes, feeling the tip of his ears heat up from the fact that he just asked the head of immigration offices for the state of New York if he wants a juice box. Who does that? Who asks a person so important, if they want a juice box?

John pulled out a cranberry juice box, smiling. "Herc likes cranberry," he explained.

"Juice me," Herc said grinned, entering the kitchen.

John smiled, tossing him the juice box and then taking off the straw off of his, getting it out of the plastic and poking it through the whole. He held it up to Herc, smiling. "Cheers brother. May we drink together again."

"May we drink together again," Herc echoed, taking a sip of the juice through the straw.

Alex, who just got done ordering food, looked over at John and Herc, who were sipping their juices. "Is it like, a parent thing to just eat kid food?"

John gave a look of mock offense. "For the record, kid food is great, cheap, and yes, it absolutely is a parent thing to eat it. But Herc and I have earned our juice boxes because we've both been covered in every fluid that comes out of our kid's body except maybe spinal fluid.

"I'm sorry, but even pee?" Lafayette asked, looking almost concerned for the two fathers standing in front of him.

John nodded, amused. "Pee, poop, not solid poop, blood, vomit, mucus. You name it, I've probably washed it off my bare hands in my kitchen sink before going back to cooking. Kids are really, really gross. And sticky. Like, Phillip and William are just passing the phase where they are gross and sticky. I still have to wipe Phillip's nose with my bare hand, but hey, that's parenting."

"I could never be a parent," Lafayette muttered quietly, looking a bit scarred.

"You seemed really good with kids," Herc pointed out, guiltily hoping that his son wouldn't scare Lafayette away, knowing that if someone couldn't handle his kid, he couldn't date them.

"Oh, I am," Lafayette assured, catching his mistake. "I get squeamish around body fluids and stuff like that. Makes me feel sick. My sister had a lot of kids, so I hang out with them, but I am never on diaper duty, ever."

Hercules laughed, leaning against John a bit, requesting help. John sighed, knocking Herc's hip with his own. Herc was cute when he was flustered, and John honestly loved it.

"Oh, Herc, how's James doing? I haven't had a chance to catch up with him. He got released from the hospital a few days ago, right?" John said quickly, attempting to bring the subject off of poop, piss and bodily fluids in general.

"Oh, he's way better, the cut on his head is healing, and they upped his dosage," Herc informed John. "Payne was staying with Sally and Beverly, but he's back with James."

"Wait, what happened?" Alex asked, curious about who James was and what happened to him. Alex didn't like seeing people injured, knowing someone was hurt- a side effect of PTSD. Alex wasn't a doctor and only had basic medical training, but he was quick when he saw blood.

"Oh, we have a friend James who had a seizure at work, and he fell and hit his head. Spent a few nights in the hospital. It happens fairly often, the guy is always sick." Herc explained, still leaning heavily on John. "Yeah, he's gonna come up short for his meds this month. John, you got seventy bucks? We need to drop it off at his house."

"Oh, yeah, tomorrow is my day off, so I can go over," John offered. "I'll check on him, I don't want Jemmy bein' all alone. Do you know how he's doing? Hospitals are never good for his state, I don't want him doing anything."

Herc shrugged. "He's okay. He's never, you know, super great, but that's just him. I think you going over tomorrow is gonna be good for him. He's lonely sometimes. He needs a relationship or something, I swear, the dude needs to get out every once in a while, and that's me talking."

"Is he okay?" Lafayette asked. "Like, overall?"

John half smiled at Lafayette's concern. "He's struggled with depression for a while. He's really a great dude, just not in great mental shape. He's real fun to hang out with, got a great kid, and very sweet. I got the flu once, and I couldn't take off work, so whenever he could, he would run by to get me medicine, some food, fluids, the works."

"He sounds nice," Alex admired.

John nodded. "He is. So, Laf, Alex, how did you guys meet?"

"Well," Lafayette started, "I've been in government since I was twenty-six. Came to America for college, started working with the government, then ran for leader of immigration offices at twenty-nine, and have yet to lose an election. I met Alex when he ran for leader of the budget division when he was thirty-one and I was thirty-five. Since the both of us have been close, we were introduced and became fast friends. There are government employees who I absolutely dread working with, but Alex is bearable."

"Aw, you fuckin' sap," Alex laughed. "Yeah, Laf's essentially my honorary brother. I didn't have any siblings, but Lafayette has truly given me the experience of an annoying little brother who comes to your house, eats your food, and uses your shower."

"I'm older than you," Lafayette pointed out.

"How, old are you?" Hercules asked.

"Thirty-eight," Lafayette answered, accompanied by a small shrug and a charming smile.

"Wow, you look like you're in your late twenties," Herc complimented. "Early thirties maybe."

Lafayette smiled wide, gently placing his hand on Hercules' arm. "You flatter me. You know, I would love to take you out to lunch sometime, or dinner. Whatever works for you."

"Oh, I don't know, I have work, and then William needs to be picked up and we would have to go somewhere where he could-"

John cut Hercules off. "Drop him off at my place."

"Merci, John," Lafayette said smoothly. "Would you go out to dinner with me?"

"Like, like a date?" Herc squirmed.

John groaned loudly. "Herc, yes! He is asking you on a date! You haven't gotten a break from being a parent for like, six years! Just, go on this one! Please!"

"Oh, uh, okay," Herc squeaked out.

"Perfect," Lafayette smiled. "I'll call you with the details."

Alex rolled his eyes and looked to John. "I'm glad our friends can hook up now. John, how was work today?"

John shrugged, smiling. "It wasn't terrible. The bar was exhausting, but I got to hang out with my friend Sally, she's a dancer there. Then I went to the dance studio, and that was great. There's a recital coming up, and it's gonna be great. My students are doing well. It's gonna be great. The recital is on my day off too, so I won't be missing work. Then I had my shift at the fast food place, which was like, normal, I guess. I'm looking forward to sleep, as per usual. Herc, how about you? I see you were teaching acrylics today."

Herc nodded, coming alive at the mention of his class. "Yes, and oh my god, my students are amazing. I have a student named Gabby, and her artwork is so good. I seriously would pay her for a commision if I wasn't broke. I have a picture of it, look." Herc pulled out his phone to show a beautiful painting of the profile a woman with an apple in her hand, about to take a bite. "This one is called Eve, and it's supposed to represent the power a woman can have in her life. She's graduating this year, which sucks, but she's going to art school at NYU."

"Oh, wow, that's great," John said.

Herc nodded. "I'm super proud of her. She got every scholarship she could, playing sports, maintaining a four point oh GPA, volunteering. Her family isn't too well off, but she's compensating like a freaking boss. She's really a great kid." Herc smiled, putting his phone away. "Lafayette, how was your day?"

Lafayette shrugged. "Right now is the worst time to work in immigration offices. New York City is the city of immigrants, and yet I still get racists hurling slurs and death threats at me. Then again, that's politics for you."

"I don't think I could handle that," Herc admitted.

Lafayette shrugged. "You get used to it after a while. Alex and I worked on a defense for the Parent and Child bill for a while. I'm assuming you are a single parent too?"

Herc nodded. "Oh, yes, my son and I, we've been on our own since my wife took off when he was one." Herc paused, obviously thinking about the gorgeous woman he married young and cried for when she left, leaving him and his child with nothing but divorce papers. "But William and I stick together. I like to think I do a good job, being a role model and such- making sure he knows he can do or be whatever he wants in life."

A knock at the door announced that the food had arrived, and Alex went to go get it, while Herc and John went to get the kids, and Lafayette cleared some mail off the big dining room table. Alex had a house for someone with a family, friends who came over nightly, and parties thrown every weekend. Alex had none of that. He was a loner, a shut-in with four close friends and no one else. That was one of the reasons he was a little desperate for John to stay as a roommate. Alex was lonely, his house was empty and quiet. Some nights the silence got so bad that he had to call someone over to coax him through his PTSD driven flashbacks.

"Food!" Phillip and William cheered. The ran in, almost knocking over a vase which was caught by John, his dancer's grace coming into handy as he put the vase back. Herc just nodded and the two of them went into the dining room. It was pretty, sterile-looking art on the walls. It felt too fancy for the white styrofoam take out boxes, and it made John a bit claustrophobic.

"We could eat outside," John suggested. "I saw you had some lawn chairs and a table. It might be a bit less- maybe not quite so, um, antiseptic."

"That sounds nice," Alex mumbled. "I don't think I've really been outside today. It'll be warm for a while, too. Thank God too, Lord knows New York is either sweltering or in the negatives.

John smiled, relieved, helping carry the food outside. He sat in a lawn chair, handing the kids their plastic cutlery. John sat between Lafayette and Alex, Herc sitting on the other side of Lafayette, the chairs curved in a half circle so everyone could see and talk to one another. Alex was excited to be able to watch the kids play in his backyard, something he'd never had the opportunity to do before.

"Mind if I smoke?" Lafayette asked, pulling a pack of Marlboro Reds out of his chest pocket and shaking them a bit.

Alex cut in before any of the parents could, "You can always smoke at my place, Laf."

"Not around our kids he can't" Herc inserted, incredulous. "My kid is very sensitive to cigarette smoke, and I don't like it either. And John is a dancer and doesn't need anything going on with his lungs."

John snorted. "Nothing more that than what's already going on, at least. I breathe in mass amounts of second-hand smoke four hours a night, six days a week. That bar I work at is not smoke-free. I hate bringing Phillip there."

"You take him with you there? Why?" Alex asked.

John shrugged. "We've lived in some sketchy neighborhoods and I didn't feel comfortable leaving him at home. I'd just set Phillip up in the back room where the dancers got ready, let him sleep in a small area in the corner. All the ladies were nice, and one even brought a pillow and left it there for him."

"Cute," Alex smiled.

The meal went on much longer than any of them expected, and soon enough, it was ten o'clock and Herc was lugging a sleeping William to his car, and waving farewell to Lafayette, who'd summoned an Uber. A very tired John helped Alex clean up the patio, then cracked his back leaning against the counter, trying to find the motivation to climb three flights of stairs. He wasn't doing very well, swaying on his feet. Phillip was already upstairs in John's bed, and John knew Phillip was gonna wake up before him. John had warned Alex, telling him that Phillip would probably end up in the living room, playing on the iPad, and asked Alex just to make sure Phillip didn't leave the house. Alex, who woke up at six am every day, regardless of how much sleep he'd gotten the night before, saluted.

"Hey," Alex murmured, nudging John's shoulder, surprising him stupor at the kitchen counter. "Go to bed."

John fought to wake enough to use his legs and followed Alex up the stairs. "Okay. We're gonna go grocery shopping tomorrow, and I've got to stop by James' place. I'll pick him up something to eat too. We need to get uh, food at the store basically. And Phillip needs more socks."

"Do you ever stop worrying about your kid?" Alex wondered, noticing that Phillip was one of the only things John talked about. So far, Alex had learned very little about John, but mountains about Phillip, and he was truly curious about whether John knew this or not.

"Nope," John replied immediately. "When I chose to take Phillip, I chose to devote myself to his safety, his well being. As he gets older, hopefully, it'll become easier. He's totally reliant on me right now, Alex, and God, you think you've been stressed and then- what- a whole person is reliant on me. That is, that equally terrifying and beautiful." John got to his door, placing his hand on the doorknob and looking at Alex. "Phillip is my life, I guess that's what I mean. Everything all kind of comes back to that."

Alex smiled softly. "You're sweet, John."

Alex stepped onto the thick carpet of his room sipping his Ambien filled water, not passing out like John. Instead, he pulled out a pad and pen, and began constructing a letter to his friend Aaron, confident that it would be unreturned. Aaron was stationed in Yemen, and had been stationed in Afghanistan with Alex. The two were close, as Alex was with his other friend, now a co-worker, Thomas Jefferson. Alex hadn't heard anything from Aaron for a few months, but he'd continued writing letters. Alex didn't know what was happening, and he wasn't getting any responses from Aaron's wife, Theodosia, so he tried to stick it out.

Alex stared at the photo on his nightstand for a second, of him in his prime, broad shoulders, thick arms and muscled stomach and legs, with Thomas and Aaron, smiling big, dirt on their faces. Alex sighed and got up, unbuttoning his shirt and dropping it to the basket. He undid his belt and slipped out of his pants, letting them clunk into the basket as well. He grabbed a tee shirt, slipping it on with sweatpants. He continued with his nightly routine then layed down as the Ambien kicked in, ready for a long sleep.

Alex woke up the next morning at six am sharp, pulling himself from his bed after a quick stretch, and stumbling his way downstairs. The house was quiet, bar gentle snores from John's room, making the silence bearable. Alex didn't like the quiet. Quiet never meant good. In Iraq, when it was quiet, someone had died. The quiet triggered a hollowness in Alex, which was why, when he started the coffee maker downstairs, he cracked open the door open, and turned on the radio. Alex retrieved the newspaper from his front step and began to read it while coffee dripped into the maker and Bach flowed from several speakers around the kitchen and living room. His Major, and now the governor of New York, as well as a very close friend, George Washington, played violin often at night, and often times he'd let soldiers sit in his tent and listen. The sound of classical music, the way it sang, relaxed him.

A few hours went by before Phillip came downstairs in his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pajamas, iPad under his arm, his hair a tangled mess. Without saying anything, he climbed up on the stool next to Alex, set the iPad on the counter, and began to game quietly. Alex was confused, not wanting to disturb Phillip, but knowing that kids needed to eat. Alex peered at Phillip over the newspaper.

"Do you um, do you want food?" Alex asked slowly, looking Phillip up and down, unsure.

Phillip looked back at Alex, a bit surprised. "My papa usually makes me breakfast, but he sleeps late on Saturdays. Can you make food?"

"I can give you cereal," Alex offered. "Is that good?"

Phillip nodded, going back to the game, and Alex made the cereal for Phillip, Captain Crunch, then milk, before setting it down in front of Phillip with a spoon. Phillip took a bit and looked back to Alex. Phillip was very curious, and lacked a filter since he was five.

"What happened to your face?" Phillip asked, pointing at the scars that littered Alex's cheek, and a bit onto his forehead.

Alex, used to kids' questions, answered smoothly. "I was fighting in a war and there was a big explosion and some debris hit me and cut up my face and neck."

"Did it hurt?" Phillip wondered.

Alex nodded. "Yes, but I had other things to worry about."

"Did you cry?" Phillip continued, though Alex didn't mind. He got a lot of questions about his face. Kids were curious and he loved to encourage their will to learn. He spent a lot of time with kids, since Washington fostered often, but he didn't mind. He didn't exactly enjoy getting his hair pulled by three-year-olds, but Washington loved all the kids as if they were his own, so Alex didn't complain.

"I did not cry," Alex answered, smiling. "Well, I didn't cry in the moment. It hurt a bit worse when they were bandaging me, but it ended up alright."

"Do you have a TV?" Phillip questioned.

"Would you like to watch cartoons?" Alex chuckled, enjoying the kid's banter, and how easily he changed the subject. Kids were easier to talk to than adults, no question.

"Yeah!" Phillip said, smiling.

"I'll carry your cereal and we'll take some napkins in case there's a spill," Alex said, picking up Phillip's food and grabbing a roll of paper towels. Alex lead the little kid upstairs to the huge TV that was taller than Phillip himself. Phillip was in awe, his jaw dropping. Phillip climbed up onto the soft couch that Alex had bought for the sole purpose of falling asleep on after a long day.

"Wow, your TV is huge!" Phillip said. "My papa and I only watch cartoons on the iPad."

"Yeah? What cartoons do you like?" Alex said, smiling as he handed Phillip the cereal, feeling bad he couldn't offer the kid a bit more of a breakfast.

"Johnny Test!" Phillip cheered. "It's on Netflix."

Alex swiped his Apple remote, finding Netflix and searching up Johnny Test. Phillip said he was on season three, so Alex found an episode Phillip hadn't seen yet and clicked on it. Alex leaned back with his newspaper, ready to tune the cartoon out and read his paper, but he found himself glancing up every now and then, offering a chuckle. Eventually, Alex put down his newspaper and grabbed a pillow, hugging it and watching the cartoon with Phillip. He'd never really spent his morning watching cartoons, even as a kid, and he suddenly realized what a relaxing way to start your day it was.

"Mm, Alex? Phillip?" John grumbled around ten, coming into the living room, his long hair tied up in a low ponytail.

"Morning, John. This guy was up around eight thirty, so I got him some cereal and we started watching cartoons," Alex grinned, patting couch cushion next to him. "Come, sit with us."

John blinked a couple of times, not yet awake from his twelve-hour rest, then sat next to Phillip, stretching his arms out on the back of the couch, sighing heavily as his son curled up to him. John smiled, ruffling Phillip's tangled hair. Phillip hated brushing it, and John hadn't been able to find the brush, which was most likely gone forever.

"Hey, can I use that notepad to make a list?" John asked, pointing to a notepad on the coffee table, a pen hooked on the hoops.

Alex nodded. "Yeah, just find a clean piece of paper. I've got government shit in there I can't lose."

"Language," John chided, reaching forward and grabbing the pad. He began writing down stuff he needed, all cheap and generic. John had exactly twenty-three dollars in his account, and he kept that in mind, writing down food he knew was canned, as well as some pasta, bread, and peanut butter. When he finished, he glanced over at Alex, holding the list in his hand. "Alright, I got twenty-three dollars in my account, but I get paid on Friday, so if we keep the total cost under fifty dollars, I can probably get everything we need as long as we-"

Alex cut John off. "How about I just pay for groceries? Get whatever you like, whatever Phillip likes, I can pay for it, it's just money."

For a second, John genuinely considered punching Alex in the jaw. 'It's just money.' Not to John. To John, it was a reminder that he couldn't provide for his son, a reminder that he was struggling. He'd never had enough, not since Phillip was born. Bills and financial problems brought John to tears, and he had no one to help him, and here Alex was, not giving money a second thought. John hated the movie, Wolf Of Wall Street, because it pissed him off too much. He had a thing against people who did nothing with their money. Jeff Bezos was a prime example of that, and John truly believed in the saying 'eat the rich.' Maybe he wasn't about to sit down and eat human meat, but he believed in the metaphorical sense of eating the rich, taxing them and kicking them out of the government, let people who have actually struggled and know what it's like to be a real person run the country.

"I'll pay you back," is all John muttered.

"You don't have too," Alex stated, shrugging. "I don't need it."

John just shrugged, looking back down at his list and ripping the paper out. "We should leave in an hour, so I'm gonna get dressed and Phillip is going to get dressed too."

"But, papa, cartoons," Phillip whined.

Alex paused them. "We can watch more later, bud. I promise it's not going anywhere. Go on."

Phillip groaned. "Okay."

John scooped up Phillip up, carrying him upstairs. "We're gonna buy a brush today and get all those knots out of your hair, alright bud? We can buy some of that apple detangler spray so it won't hurt."

"Are we living here?" Phillip asked as John pulled out some jeans and a sweater for Phillip. "In Alex's house."

John nodded, smiling. "What would you say if I told you Alex is our new roommate and we're gonna live here? Maybe have a little more money to buy fun things like toys, go see a movie, buy new clothes."

Phillip smiled, bouncing up and down on the bed. "Really?"

John nodded, happiness welling in chest at the feeling of being able to offer his kid things like movies and new toys.

"Cool!" Phillip cheered jumping on the bed.

John laughed, picking up Phillip and swinging him around. "Come on, you goober, it's time to get dressed so we can go grocery shopping."

Phillip groaned. "I don't wanna go shopping. It's too loud."

John nodded, slipping Phillip's pajama shirt off him and putting the sweater on. "I know, bud, but you can sit in the car and play on the iPad. Alex is coming with us."

"Is Alex your boyfriend?" Phillip inquired, as John helped Phillip into some clean underwear and jeans.

"No, honey, not boyfriend," John chuckled, replying quickly. "He's just our new roommate."

"Okay," Phillip conceded, jumping onto the bed and rolling around on the soft sheets as John slipped on his blue skinny jeans and a black hoodie that he'd owned since high school. John grabbed a hair tie and put Phillip's hair up in a ponytail since there was no way they could get a brush through that. John had considered putting Phillip's hair into cornrows, since his mother, who was black, had asked John to keep Phillip in touch with his heritage. John knew that Phillip couldn't possibly sit still long enough for that though.

"Alright, we're ready," John stated, coming downstairs. Alex had changed into a ratty blue tee shirt and a pair of black jeans, his hair thrown up in a ponytail. The jeans were ripped in the knees, and the shirt was very obviously worn. John noticed something right away, thanks to Alex's hair being totally up and out of his face. He noticed his ear, on the side of his face with the scars. The top part of it was gone, and the skin was damaged and discolored. But John remembered Alex saying he was in the military, so he didn't ask questions. Phillip, however, was fiver, and lacked John's tact.

"What happened to your ear?" Phillip questioned curiously, making John cringe.

"Phillip, that's not our business-"

"It is alright John, I don't mind questions. When my face and neck got hurt, my ear got hurt too," Alex explained, pulling his hair back to display more scarring behind his ear. "My hearing in this ear isn't too good anymore, but it works."

"Whoa. Did it hurt?" Phillip asked, eyes wide as Alex and John began walking downstairs.

"Not until I was getting it bandaged up," Alex replied, smiling. "Sometimes, when you get hurt, you don't really feel it until later."

"Really? When I get hurt, I feel it right away," Phillip said. "Like one time, I was at the park, and I scraped my knee, and it bled so much and it hurt so much. Papa fixed it though, with a bandaid and a pudding cup. Do you think that would help your ear?"

Alex chuckled, looking at John. "I would take the pudding cup, but I don't think I need a bandaid. My ear is okay. I wear a hearing aid sometimes when I'm at work, but I keep my hair down for that."

"Cool!" Phillip giggling as John and Alex walked out to the car. John shot Alex an apologetic look, but Alex waved it off with a smile, not bothered by the child's curiosity. John got in the front seat and flipped through the CD binder.

"We don't just have rap," John informed Alex. "My friend James made me a mix, do you wanna see if you like that?"

"Sure," Alex agreed.

John pulled out a CD with sharpie on it, saying 'to my one and only, tiny dancer.' James was a fan of older music. John was born in nineteen ninety-two, earning himself a life as a nineties kid, while James was born in eighty-six, thus loving music works of Prince, Elton John, Queen, and Bowie.

"Prince!" Alex cheered as Raspberry Beret began to play through the speakers.

"You like this?" John asked, amused.

Alex nodded animatedly. "I grew up on Prince. I own all of his albums on vinyl. I think they're up in my attic. I haven't listened to him in a while, but I love him."

"My friend James likes him too," John offered, smiling lightly as Alex began singing alone with Prince's voice.

"He told me several times that he didn't like my kind, 'cause I was a bit too leisurely!" Alex sang, his voice not perfect, but very raw. "Seems I was busy doing something next to nothing but different from the day before. That's when I saw her, ooh! I saw her. She walked in through the outdoor! She wore a raspberry beret! The kind you'd find in a second-hand store! Raspberry beret, and if it was warm, she wouldn't wear much more. Raspberry Beret. I think I love her." Alex flashed John a cheesy smile.

"Well, I think we found music we agree on," John said.

"What music did you listen to, nineties kid? " Alex teased.

"Don't laugh," John said, giving Alex a warning look. "I was a huge TLC fan. I also liked Spice Girls, the Fugees. Basically, if it was a female singing and it was from the nineties, I had a CD for it and I listened to it nonstop."

"Did young John walk to school with his Walkman dancing to No Scrubs and pretending all the cars were trying to holla at you?" Alex chuckled, amused at the thought of a Phillip-esque ten-year-old walking down the street and dancing to TLC.

"Oh, one hundred percent," John answered honestly. "I made my first original choreography to a Fugees song, and God, Spice Girls created the theme track to my high school years. Nineties women literally have my heart."

"Oh, now I wanna go on a Spice Girls debauch to see what your high school life was like," Alex smiled. "Did you have a good high school life?"

John shrugged. "It wasn't bad. I know some people live their high school lives, but mine was just okay. Nothing bad happened, nothing incredibly good happened. What about you? Did high school treat you well?"

"High school was a lot of lonely nights," Alex remembered. "I was basically a hermit, and I moved high schools every couple of months, so I never had time to make real friends. I'm sociable, it's just, I never kept in touch with anyone, but I didn't mind. I married right out of high school, enlisted in the army, and went overseas.

"Why did you move a lot?" John questioned, "just out of curiosity."

Alex just shrugged, not wanting to talk about it. "No reason."

John took the hint and cracked his knuckles. "So, do you go grocery shopping ever? Or do you just sort of like, order out. I wanna know if this is going to be a first for you."

"No, I have been grocery shopping," Alex rolled his eyes. "I had a wife who made me go with her. Nowadays, I don't have much time. I pick up what I need from the corner store, and order take out usually. I have cereal for breakfast, and fast food for dinner, or more cereal. Really depends on my mood."

"Man, you really need a roommate," John laughed.

"You're my roommate." Alex deadpanned.

"Oh, yeah," John mumbled. "Sorry, sorry, I just, living in a real house hasn't really set in. I mean, are you seriously okay with letting me live with you rent free? And then you're paying for groceries, and oh, I just feel bad. I don't know, I feel like I don't deserve this."

"Are you kidding me?" Alex protested. "I have literally never met anyone more deserving of a break. You work three jobs, you're up before four, you don't sleep until your kid does. You have one day off a week, you still manage to take care of your kid, feeding him, clothing him, spending time with him. You work so hard, and you really did deserve a stroke of luck."

"A stroke of luck is one thing," John started. "Living in a townhouse with the leader of the budget division for the state of New York, who also pays for groceries, is another thing. Like, Alex, this is the equivalent to winning the lottery."

Alex smiled at John, shrugging. "Congratulations, I suppose. You got the lucky ticket."

The three arrived at the store and John took Phillip's hand as they crossed the parking and entered the store. John didn't really know where to go since he was used to going to the canned food section and leaving. Alex grabbed a cart though, holding it steady as John picked up Phillip and his iPad and set the kid in there, then followed Alex to the produce section.

"Oh, produce is so expensive nowadays," John said nervously, looking around at the fruit and vegetables.

"Phillip, what fruit do you like?" Alex asked, ignoring John's worrying.

"Pineapple," Phillip listed. "And strawberries, and raspberries, and grapes, and pears, and jackfruit."

"Jackfruit? What the hell is a jackfruit?" Alex quietly muttered.

"Oh, God, it's just a fruit that is really expensive that Phillip and I once had after sneaking into a fancy art gallery with a bunch of rich people," John stated. He pointed to a big spiky fruit, bigger than a watermelon. "That's a jackfruit. It's like mango on seventy-five percent battery with a weird texture. Phillip loved it."

"Well, I've never had it, so let's get it," Alex said, walking over and grabbing the big spiky fruit and placing it in the cart. "And let's see, pears, grapes, raspberries, and strawberries. We can do that." Alex began collecting the fruit, and nervous and guilty John behind him. Alex didn't even check the price as he placed stuff in the cart, just smiled as he watched Phillip's eyes grow wide. "What about vegetables?"

"Yuck," Phillip said, scrunching up his nose.

"Asparagus, broccoli, carrots, mushrooms, Brussel sprouts, and lettuce," John answered. "I mean, as long as that's okay. Those are the vegetables I usually get sometimes when we can afford it. I like to make stir fry with vegetables and some soy sauce and brown sugar and garlic."

"That sounds awesome, let's make sure to pick up those ingredients, I don't have them."

Alex bagged up the vegetables and they finished with the produce section, then went on to get cheese, bread, more food, including a big tub of rice pudding for James. They also got a brush and some detangling spray for Phillip, as well as some Johnson shampoo and conditioner, and socks for Phillip. As they were standing at the checkout line, John felt anxiety rise into his chest as he saw the cost of the shopping trip go up. It passed two hundred dollars and his chest began to feel tight. Phillip was playing on the iPad and Alex was just standing there, wallet out, credit card in hand. John watched the screen pass two hundred fifty degrees and he let out a sharp gasp.

"Jesus," he muttered, swallowing and scratching the center of his chest.

"Are you good?" Alex asked, noticing how fidgety John was being.

"This is a lot of money," John said quietly, looking down a bit as the lady finishes checking the food items, as well as the other things.

"You've spent five years of your life dedicated to your son, let me do this for you," Alex coaxed gently, swiping his card and signing his name on the electronic thing. "Where does James live?"

"Murray hill tower apartments," John told him, feeling bad as Alex loaded up the groceries. "He's home. He has the weekend off."

"Cool," nodded Alex. "I gotta say, it's been about six years since I came to the grocery store for anything more than bread, apples, and milk."

"How are you nine years older than me, and yet I have more adult experience?" John asked, snorting a bit.

"I was getting shot at in a desert," Alex snorted. "Methinks my excuse is valid."

John nodded, looking at Alex. "I'll teach you domestic things, you teach me, uh, I dunno, what are cool skills you can teach me?"

"Self defense, how to start a fire with a leather boot, different ways to get drinking water on your body. Hint: there's only one, and it's your pee," Alex listed. "I can also teach you gun safety, how to make a bed in seconds, and exactly how much sand you can eat in one sitting before vomiting."

John paused, thinking. "How much sand can you eat in one sitting before vomiting?"

"About three cups if you have water, two cups dry," Alex answered, pushing the now full cart out. Halfway through the shopping trip, Phillip had run out of space and so he was now on John's back, bored out of his mind.

"Wow, so if I ever need to eat sand, I'll know how much to eat," John nodded, walking into the parking lot and to the car. John put Phillip in the car seat, handing him the iPad, then he went to the back and helped Alex load up the car, taking the pudding out of the bag so they wouldn't have to find it later. Alex was still a little intrigued by the jackfruit, excited to try it.

"Thank you," John mumbled quietly, shifting on both feet. "No one has ever done anything like this for Phillip and I. We've always been on our own, no help from anyone. I mean, yeah, I have friends, but they're just as broke as me. No one has ever gone truly out of their way to help me, and I just, I want you to know that I really appreciate this. None of it seems real to me, and I'm losing my mind trying to think of some way to repay you."

Alex shrugged. "I don't like being alone in my house. When I was overseas, quiet meant someone had died. This morning, this morning I woke up and I could hear you snoring when I was in the hall, and it made me feel way less alone. Having the company is nice, too. It's a big house, and it's really easy to get lonely. I had breakfast with someone for the first time in a long time this morning. He was five, but regardless. So, you are repaying me by just being here. I'm really excited to get to know you and Phillip."

John rubbed the back of his neck, smiling. "Come on, I don't want to bring James warm pudding. He hates it when his pudding is warm."

"He sounds sweet, I'm excited to meet him," Alex said as they got into the car. The drive was short, and soon enough they were pulling into an apartment building. John was quick to get Phillip out of the car, walking fast with his long dancer legs to the building, Alex jogging to keep up. John seemed to be almost on autopilot, jogging up the stairs. James was on the fourth floor, making Alex very grateful that he'd kept up with his ranger training all these years.

The door opened, and there appeared a man in grey slacks, a large sweater, and bright pink fuzzy socks. He looked tired, kinda chubby, and almost grumpy. There was a healing cut in the middle of his head. Alex was shocked that the man was shorter than him. Alex was only five foot five, but this man was about an inch or two shorter, dark skin, and poofy hair. The man's face brightened when he saw John.

"Johnny!" James grinned, wrapping John in a hug.

"Hey, bud," John said softly. "I heard you got out of the hospital, so I brought over your favorite."

"Oh, come in, come in," James said, laughing softly as John ducked a bit to get through the doorway. "Who's your friend?"

"He's my new roommate," John told James, setting the tub of rice pudding in the fridge and popping his back. "Thank him for the rice pudding, because he paid for it. Oh, speaking of getting paid." John pulled out his wallet and grabbed seventy dollars cash from it, the seventy dollars he had been saving for James. "For your medication. Herc reminded me last night. How are you? I heard they upped your dosage. Do you know what caused the seizure?"

James sat up on the kitchen counter while John stood next to him, Phillip joining Jame's kid on the couch in front of a TV, and Alex leaned against a fridge. James took John's hand and began playing with his fingers. "Yeah, they upped my seizure meds, and so far it hasn't killed me, but I've only been on it for a few days. The seizure just kinda came on, they called an ambulance, which is going to murder my wallet, but you know me, drowning in med debt, string around my finger so I don't hang myself. I'm living life."

"How are you since the bill repealed?" John asked quietly, gripping James' hand. "Are you managing with rent? What about food?"

"I'm gonna come up a little short this month in rent," James sighed ashamedly. "I mean, I can't exactly get extra shifts in an English classroom."

"How short?" Alex asked, pulling out his wallet.

"About three hundred bucks," James stated, shrugging.

In a few seconds, Alex had pulled out three crisp hundred dollar bills and handed them to James without a second thought. "Here. I'm sorry the bill got repealed. I work in government and ever since it has, a few business partners and I have been working to bring it back to court. The governor is on our side. We're not going to let this injustice pass without resistance."

James was shocked. Never in his life had he ever gotten three hundred dollars just out of the blue. He's always had to work for it. But now, nowhere was three hundred dollars, in his hand, simply for just existing. He looked back to John. "Is this some kind of sick joke where the money is counterfeit or something?"

"It's not," Alex stated. "Trust me, I don't need it."

"For a capitalist, you sure don't mind giving away your money," John mentioned, looking over to Alex while still holding James' hand.

"Who says I'm a capitalist?" Alex asked, smirking.

"Well, you live in a big mansion, you're very rich, and while you care about this bill, it doesn't affect you. Nothing affects you," John listed.

Alex just snorted at John's naivety. "If you think I'm a capitalist, you've got a whole thing coming when you meet my business associates."

After the visit to James, John, Alex, and Phillip got back in the car, John lazily staring out the window as they drove home. It was a warm day, and John still had to brush out Phillip's curly hair. John was good at it though. If you brush hair as curly as Phillip while it's dry, then chances are, it's gonna end up looking worse. John, knowing this, usually got Phillip's hair wet, put conditioner in it, sprayed it with detangler spray, and then brushed it before washing the conditioner out. The whole process took about half an hour to forty-five minutes since Phillip's hair only went down to just above his shoulders. Phillip would play on the iPad and John would brush it hair.

"I wanna watch cartoons," Phillip said as they got home.

"Okay, bud, you can do it while I'm brushing your hair but then I want you to go outside and come on a walk with me," John told him. "You've had enough screen time for the day."

"Fine," Phillip groaned as they pulled up to the house. John and Alex got out and began gathering the groceries, taking about half of the total amount of food in both arms and bringing it inside. He and John stepped back outside to get the rest when Alex heard a familiar voice.

"Hamilton!" An old black woman who'd owned the house before it went up on the market. Her name was Abigail, and she was very sweet when she wanted to be.

"Good afternoon, Abigail," Alex said, smiling and waving. "How are you?"

"I'd be a lot better if I knew who you had living in that house with you," Abigail complained, looking at John.

"This is my new roommate, John, and his son, Phillip, is in the house somewhere," Alex informed her, causing John to smile and wave.

"Well I'm glad you finally have some living partners," Abigail stated. "Maybe you'll stop coming home in the middle of the night, waking up half the neighborhood and then my cats with that loud car of yours."

"Maybe I will," Alex joked. "Have a good day, Abby."

"You too," she grumbled, stroking the ginger cat in her arms.

John looked at Alex, amused. "So, that's our neighbor?"

Alex grabbed a few bags, not protesting when John got the rest, then reached up and closed the trunk. "Sweet lady, I promise. Sometimes she'll come over if I haven't left the house in a while, make sure I'm still alive, bring me some food because she knows I'd live off of cereal for the rest of my life if I could."

"You're literally the poster child for bachelorhood," John deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

Alex offered a 'whatcha gonna do about it' shrug. "Sometimes it be like that, John."


	3. John can work a barbecue and Thomas is obviously not a parent

A week had passed at the Hamilton/Laurens household, and life was like a dream. Alex still woke up excited at the idea of sharing his home, and coming home to the smell of dinner being cooked. There were days when John would collapse onto the couch with a muffled "order something" too exhausted to cook, but most times he would come home and cook for the three of them. Alex always insisted that John didn't have to cook, and, John would wave away Alex's words, citing that it was nice to have someone to cook for. Phillip would beg and whine that the trio should dine on the patio, so this was where the majority of their meals were spent. Phillip would gobble down his meals, briefing John on his day around a mouth full of food, then dashing off to explore, leaving Alex and John to conversate. John was still working from three in the morning to six or seven at night, but he said he wasn't ready to quit anything yet.

It was Friday night, and John was sipping coffee on the Uber ride home, a luxury that he could finally afford thanks to payday. At first John hadn't known what he was going to do with the money not going towards rent, but then he figured he might as well just pay off his student debts. Alex was at home with Phillip, Hercules having dropped Phillip off about half an hour ago. John was on his fourth cup of coffee in the past hour, and knew he would probably have some trouble getting to sleep, but didn't mind. It was Friday, and he had nothing planned for tomorrow, which was nice.

"I'm home!" John announced as he stepped into the house.

"Papa!" Phillip cried, smiling and running to hug John's legs. John laughed, running his hand over Phillip's curls before picking him up and taking him into the kitchen. John had pulled an ass muscle at dance and boy did it hurt. John remembered the chorus of chuckles as he'd told a group of fourteen-year-olds that he pulled his ass, as he rummaged through the fridge, looking for dinner. He groaned, not wanting to cook. There was a mass amount of take-out restaurants held on the fridge by a magnet, and John finally gave up on cooking, calling a pizza place and calling to order a large cheese pizza.

"Hey, John," Alex said, coming into the kitchen. "How was your day?"

A shrug came from John, not wanting to think about the creepy comment he'd gotten from his manager while he'd been changing. Something about muscles and asses. "It was fine. I'm glad tomorrow is my day off. I'm beat. How about you?"

Alex settled at the counter, leafing through some unopened mail. "It wasn't terrible. Uh, had a business meeting, and- Oh! I listened to some cotton head talk about the bill and why it should remain repealed. It was comical, honestly."

"What's the stance on that?" John asked, curious. "Like, are they gonna take it back to court?"

"Not now," Alex answered. "It may be a few months, and I know that's not much conciliation, but government takes time. I did, uh, I did stand up and defend the bill, however."

"You did?" John was almost a little shocked, thinking Alex was passive more than anything else. He honestly didn't think anyone with that much power was actively willing to stand up for people who had so little.

Alex nodded. "Yes, another government official, James Monroe, accused single parents of being, well, lazy, and leeching the government's money. I interrupted him by, well, laughing, then I stood up, and began to talk about you and your friends. I told him about how all you need more than one job to support your children, how you work to the extremes for your kids. I sort of went off on him, and it took the governor to placate me. I don't know, I suppose I don't think he should be allowed to slander your images being the lazy shit that he is. John, you're up at three in the morning, and you don't asleep until nine or ten. It's incredible."

A smile tugged at John's lips, and he took his hair out of its bun and let it fall in front of his face so Alex wouldn't know how his words affected John. "I called in for pizza. I'm too tired to cook."

"No pressure to cook, I now always have a full fridge." Alex stated.

"Well, there's some pressure, I don't want the fruits and vegetables to go bad. Speaking of fruit, how are we doing on jackfruit?" John opened the fridge and pulled out the container of jackfruit, seeing there were only three left. "Three pieces left, y'all want 'em?"

"No thank you," Alex declined, eyes still glued to the mail.

"I want some," Phillip requested, just having walked into the kitchen. John handed him two pieces and took the final one for himself, placing the Tupperware in the dishwasher. Alex was going over some bills, his pen and checkbook next to him.

"Alright, I'm gonna go change, pizza'll be here soon," John told the two of them, walking to the steps. He climbed up to the third floor and went to his room, which he was still sharing with Phillip. John had planted the notion of sleeping in another room in Phillip's head, and was crossing his fingers that the idea would take. John loved his son, but privacy was nice. John had been hard-off for privacy, living in a studio with his son, so John found himself relishing the moments of quiet, when he could lie on his bed in nothing but his underwear.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Alex was waiting with Phillip. Five minutes turned into ten, ten turned into fifteen, and since he didn't hear the shower going, Alex decided to check on John. He told Phillip to stay put and jogged up the stairs to John's room. The door was ajar, so Alex pushed it open to reveal John. John was lying on his bed, sound asleep in only his boxer briefs. Alex sighed, leaning against the doorway. He wouldn't've said this out loud, but John was cute. He was smart, straight to the point, unafraid of standing up for himself, and so loving. Alex enjoyed sharing the house with him.

"Alright, I guess Phillip and I are having dinner alone," Alex murmured, pulling a blanket over John. John stirred for a second, and then fell right back asleep. Alex couldn't help but smile, pushing a bit of hair out of John's face before turning out the light and shutting the door. Alex arrived downstairs to see Phillip entertaining the pizza guy with an elaborate story about his day.

"Oh, good, he told me his dad was somewhere in the house," the pizza guy greeted him, as Alex picked Phillip up and pulled out his wallet.

Alex's ears pricked, credit card in hand. "Oh, I'm not his father. I'm his dad's roommate. His dad just worked a triple shift and is conked out upstairs."

"Oh man, I know the feeling," the kid laughed, taking Alex's credit card and scanning it on a little machine, then handing it back to Alex. "Have a nice night."

"And you," Alex nodded, closing the door. He took the pizza out to the patio to eat, Phillip on his heels. "Your papa is very tired and very asleep, so it looks like it'll be you and me tonight."

"That sounds cool," Phillip said, grabbing a slice a pepperoni pizza and climbing up onto the lawn chair. Alex grabbed a piece and a napkin and leaned back, trying to remember how to interact positively with a kid. Alex had hardly talked to Phillip at all the past week, and this seemed like a perfect opportunity to get to know the kid.

"So, what do you wanna be when you grow up?" Alex asked awkwardly, not understanding how John could keep Phillip entertained for so long.

"I wanna be a rapper, like Kendrick," Phillip said, his mouth full of pizza and his legs criss-crossed. "Or maybe a firefighter, or a doctor."

Alex nodded. "I know a lot of good doctors. I worked with some for a while."

"Were you a doctor?" Phillip asked, wiping his chin with the back of his hand, making Alex cringe and hand Phillip a napkin.

"No, not me. There were doctors who served in the army with me." Alex explained. "They were very good people."

Alex blinked, and when he opened his eyes, for a split second, he saw Jay, a man he'd served with. Whose body Alex'd carried for three miles through desert. A body he'd desperately tried to revive, pushing up and down on Jay's chest until Alex passed out.

"How'd you get such a big house?" Phillip asked, snapping Alex back to the present.

"A lot of hard work, and a little bit of luck," Alex stated, taking another bite of his pizza and craving his Ambien water.

"My papa works hard but we live in small houses," Phillip told Alex.

"It sounds like you two were short on luck up until now," Alex smiled gently.

Alex and Phillip ate dinner out there, the conversation spurred on mostly by Phillip's unending questions. When they were finished, Alex placed the pizza in the fridge and turned on a movie in the living room for Phillip. Phillip chose Moana and sang along with all of the songs, displaying his interesting habit of changing the lyrics to songs he knew the tune to. Alex thought Phillip's made up songs were cute, and the movie wasn't bad. He usually watched boring noir movies, films with more intellectual objectives Alex had never really engaged in brain candy. He held himself to such high standards, throughout his whole life. He had four years of college that he completed between missions, he pushed his body as hard as it would go his entire time in the army. His only break had been after he left the army, from twenty-eight to twenty-nine. Then, at age thirty, he ran for leader of the budget division and fell back into his old vigorous exercise/crappy diet regimen.

"Alright, buddy, bedtime," Alex reported after he'd looked over and saw nine o'clock in the upper corner of the TV. "Would you like to sleep in your dad's room or your own?"

"I wanna sleep in my own room, but I don't wanna hurt my papa's feelings," Phillip said as Alex picked him up and began the trek to the third floor.

"I don't think you will hurt his feelings," Alex assured Phillip. "You know where the bathroom is, right?"

Phillip nodded.

"I'll leave the light on in it just in case," Alex told him. "And papa's in the room next to yours if you get scared, so don't worry."

"Are there any monsters in your house? Or ghosts?" Phillip asked quietly.

Alex shook his head. "When I bought this place, I made sure I had it de-monstered and unghosted, so it should be haunting free. But if you hear anything, your dad will protect you."

"You too?" Phillip asked, looking at Alex as Alex turned on the bathroom light for Phillip.

A small smile came to Alex's lips as he brought Phillip to the room. "Yes, me too." Alex set Phillip down on the twin bed, looking around the room he had been in maybe twice. "Alright, Phillip, goodnight. Sweet dreams."

"Wait, you gotta open the closet so no good dreams get trapped in there," Phillip said quickly. "My papa always does it."

Alex just chuckled, walking over to the closet and opening it. "Better?"

Phillip nodded. "Better. Goodnight, Alex, have sweet dreams."

"And you," Alex replied, walking out of the room and keeping the door a crack. He walked out into the hallway, then back downstairs to the kitchen. He turned on the light and knocked four Ambien into his hand and placed them in a plastic bag on the cutting board. He then grabbed a spoon and ground them up, then dumped the chunky powder into the water, mixing it with a spoon and making his way upstairs. Alex had never been able to take pills. When he was a soldier and he got injured, they had to grind up his opioids into a drink or pudding. Alex didn't really know why he couldn't take pills since he could suck dick just fine, but it wasn't too much of an inconvenience. The tastes was unpleasant, but after you've had to drink your own piss, your tolerance for the taste of water goes up.

Alex made his way upstairs, stirring the water, and sipping it as he entered his room. He got prepared for bed, doing his nightly ritual of pajamas and other things, then he climbed into the sheets and let out a deep breath, waiting for the Ambien to kick in. He stared at the ceiling, pushing the images of rusty metal walls and the sound of dripping water out of his mind. Soon, the Ambien kicked in, and he fell into an easy sleep.

At four in the morning, Alex shot awake, breathing heavy and gripping the blankets, rapidly looking around the room for any sign of other people. It was quiet, but there was no way Alex was going back to sleep. With the sound of gunshots still ringing in his ears, his left knee aching, and sweat rolling down his back, Alex got up and went downstairs, grabbing his cane to ease the throbbing in his knee. The sun wasn't even licking the horizon, so Alex found himself pulling a cold slice of pizza from the fridge and sitting outside, in the brisk air. Alex dialed a number and pressed his phone to his ear. A few seconds later, the sound of Thomas' voice rang through the speaker.

"Hey, man," Thomas mumbled, tired but awake.

"Hey Tommy," Alex replied. "I just, I needed a bit of company."

"Another flashback?" Thomas asked, the sound of a coffee maker going off in the background.

"Yes, the one with you," Alex replied, staring at the cold pizza.

Thomas sighed. "You okay?"

Alex shrugged, though Thomas couldn't see him. "Slamming into consciousness at four in the morning is never pleasant, but I'm fine. I have some pizza, though what I need is most likely coffee. My knee hurts like a bitch. It feels broken. Like it did."

"Go, take some painkillers," Thomas commanded. "Are you using your cane?"

Alex nudged the oak stick with his foot, looking at the shiny gold coated ball at the top for him to grip. "Difficult to believe I'm thirty-four and I'm using a fucking cane."

Thomas chuckled before lightly singing, "gee, I wish I was back in the army." Fucking White Christmas.

Alex gagged. "I hate that movie. It's dumb. You know who hated it way more than me though? Like, he would break the movie player if someone put it on?"

"Jay," Thomas answered slowly. "Bastard broke my copy of it."

"He was doing God's work," Alex spat, laughing gently.

"It's a Christmas movie!" Thomas defended.

Alex sighed, pulling on the string of his sweatpants a bit as he listened to the slow and steady sound of Thomas' breathing. Even if they were miles away, Alex still paired the beat of Thomas' breath to his without a second thought. Alex had listened to that breathing for days on end, letting it lull him to sleep. "I've been thinking about him lately."

"Coming up on eight years," Thomas recalled. "He left all his shit to you. He had no family or anything to take it. You still have it?"

Alex scoffed. "What little there was. I still have his dog tags. They're hanging up in my room, along with a few pictures he had, and his coffee table, and his stupid fucking-" Alex paused, throat tightening. "His fucking throw blanket that he slept under even in a hundred-degree weather. I have his clothes up in a box in my attack, his books on my shelf."

"The ring?" Thomas asked.

Alex stared down at the silver band with the date of Jay's first deployment engraved into the metal. "I wear it, Tommy. You know that. I miss that fucker. Jesus, when we got back, we planned to get an apartment together, be roommates." Alex wiped his cheek, though nothing has started falling yet. "Bastard was my best friend, and he fuckin' left me. I hope he's kicking himself for it."

Thomas sighed, and Alex mouthed Thomas's next words as Thomas said them. "No, you don't."

Alex just let out a small laugh. "Yeah, you're right. How has your morning been?"

"Eh," Thomas replied, pausing for a quick second. "I didn't really sleep last night. I've been tossing and turning for a while. Just tired, I dunno."

"Yeah," Alex sighed. After that, they just sat in silence, keeping each other company from other sides of the city. Alex listened to Thomas go through his morning routine, recognizing the hissing of a hairspray can, hearing the water run from the sink. Alex kept sitting there, on his porch, eating pizza and watching the New York city sun start to rise. Finally, Alex decided it was time to go back inside, start his coffee, and get another slice of pizza, so he bid adieu to Thomas and walked through the glass sliding door into the kitchen, leaning on his cane.

His knee was still throbbing, so he took some painkillers. Alex had been dealing with chronic pain for about six years, ever since he left the army. A lot of doctors had played it off as PTSD, refusing to believe that Alex's knee was a real problem, but then he met Dr. Drew, a military veteran. Alex went to him not by choice, but by force after Thomas had found him curled up on his office couch, shivering with pain.

Drew was a tall man with light skin and short cut hair. He was way bigger than Alex, but very kind, immediately offering morphine to help stop the pain. When Alex could think straight again, he talked about his experience with the army, talked about his leg, and then talked about the pain he'd felt for a long time, the pain that'd started when he left. Drew, who had fought in Afghanistan, listened intently to Alex's words. Alex was sent up for a scan, and when that came back with nothing on it, Alex was afraid his knee would once again be left untreated, but Drew told him that there were still treatment options for him.

Drew brought in a specialist, Dr. Callaghan, who received Alex's history as well. It took Dr. Callaghan and Dr. Drew about ten more minutes to come up with a diagnosis. Chronic pain, which was something a lot of veterans struggled with. Alex had significant damage to his nervous system from the infected injuries he'd gotten, which was why he was getting such pain. Alex almost cried when they gave him a diagnosis, and a prescription to go with it.

"Morning," John called out, coming down the stairs.

Alex jumped, dropping his cane and gripping onto the counter. "Shit. John, you scared me."

"Oh, I'm sorry," John apologized, coming into the kitchen and retrieving Alex's cane for him. "You let me fall asleep early so now I'm up early."

Alex laughed as he gripped the head of his cane and leaned against it. "You went upstairs to get changed and next thing I know, you're dead asleep. Phillip told me that he wanted to sleep in his room, and he passed out in the room next to yours. Do you feel rested?"

John nodded, gripping the counter and bending over so he can stretch. "I really need to quit that bartending job. I can do the nine to seven work style, but shit, waking up at three am every morning is kicking my ass. I'm too old for this."

Alex snorted at the twenty-five-year-old. "Why don't you quit?"

John shrugged, standing up and stretching his arms. "It's kinda freaky for me to do that, quit a job without another one lined up. Like, I don't need the job because I'm not paying rent, but what if one morning you wake up and decide you don't want me and my kid freeloading off of you? What then? I'll be back in the streets, this time with no car. Not exactly my idea of a fun time."

"I don't think I'm ever gonna do that," Alex laughed. "However, I see where you're coming from. I'm not sure what advice I can offer you. You make a valid point, not wanting to be down a job in case something were to go awry with your current situation, but it's also wearing you out. How long have you been working like this?"

"Couple of years," John muttered. "It's only gotten harder, and now that the bed I'm sleeping in is comfortable, I'm dying. Maybe I should sleep on the floor."

"Okay, don't do that. I spent good money on those beds, and it's depressing how little they've been used," Alex joked. "Maybe you should just quit. John, even if something were to arise, and suddenly staying here was no longer a viable option, I would help you out in getting another place. I really enjoy having you as a roommate though, so don't hold your breath."

"And I'm supposed to trust you because?" John scrutinized, pulling his leg up to stretch.

Alex paused, his eyes falling to the middle of John's spread legs. He coughed to cover his staring and looked back to John's eyes. "I like to think that as a soldier I have a bit of honor, but I've no clue how far that gets with you. Think about this though, the money you aren't using to pay rent, you could just save it, so even if you didn't have your four-hour shift at the bar, you would still be saving money."

John sighed. "My girl Sally works there though, and until she gets a rich sugar mommy, she can't quit."

"What does she do during the day?" Alex questioned, finishing off his cold piece of pizza and disappearing into the fridge to get another slice.

"She's a librarian, sort of. Works at the Bluestockings bookstore. She's obsessed with books, and always has good books," John said, smiling. "But the bar we work at is kinda sketchy, and I've had to pull a couple guys off of her. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving her there alone."

"I understand. I may know a rich sugar mommy who is a lesbian, and super single. Does Sally have a thing against Muslims?"

"I wouldn't be friends with her if she did," John stated. "And besides, she is educated, and with education comes acceptance."

"You should invite her over for a lunch, um, social, today. Invite Herc and James, I'll bring over a few people, we can have a big mixer," Alex said. "Do you know how to work a barbecue? Because I own one, but I've never used it, and I don't know how to use it."

"I do," John laughed. "When I lived back south, I would always have big picnics with my siblings. It was so much fun."

"You have siblings?" Alex asked curiously.

John shrugged, trying not to think about what they were up to. "Yeah. Anyway, I'm gonna text James, Herc, and Sally. You text your people. Then I'm gonna run to the store and pick up some burgers and veggie patties and other stuff. What time should this thing be at?"

"How's three?" Alex suggested.

John nodded. "Alright, and kids are gonna be here, alright? We'll try to keep them to the first floor and the backyard, but I can't promise they aren't gonna wanna watch cartoons or something. Oh, I'll pick up popcorn."

"That'll be fine," Alex nodded.

"Alright, I'm gonna go get dressed and run to the store. If Pip wakes up, just give him some cereal, give him some yogurt, I dunno, he'll tell you what he wants, just make sure he eats breakfast." John sighed. "Okay, store time."

Alex chuckled as John ran upstairs. A few minutes later he re emerged, dressed, and walked out the door to the Uber that was waiting for him. Since John had gotten paid and he wasn't paying rent, he could pay for his own groceries, and it made Alex happy for John. It was a little early, and Alex had downed some coffee, so he decided to get the lawnmower out of his back shed and trim up the yard. His backyard was big, a hot tub near the front patio, a large grassy area, and then a pool. The pool wasn't too big, and Alex always had it covered, since he never felt like using it. His made sure to keep it up with because his friends liked it, but he'd never been the biggest fan of pools. He did like his hot tub though. He would often spend nights in the hot tub with Lafayette, smoking cigarette after French cigarette, laughing. Alex wasn't a heavy smoker, but he was a social smoker.

Alex started the riding lawn mower, and began trimming up the grass. It didn't take long, and soon enough, he was putting it back, sighing and returning to the house. Not long after that, Phillip came down, frizzy-haired and bleary-eyed. Alex fixed him some chocolate milk, which John didn't need to know about, and some cereal with fruit slices.

"Are you my papa's new boyfriend?" Phillip yawned as he ate his cereal while Alex chowed down on his third slice of cold pizza, the last slice in the box which was now disposed of in the recycling can.

Alex choked on his pizza. "What? No." Alex thought for a second, looking at the casual looking kid. "Has your dad had boyfriends?"

Phillip nodded, taking another bite of his cereal. "My papa and I lived with one for a while, but then we left after he pushed me. Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No, I don't," Alex said slowly, wondering if what Phillip said was true, and why some asshole would want to hurt such a sweet little kid. "I had a wife for a while, but we're not married anymore. She was not good."

"People are crazy," Phillip nodded, taking a final bite of his cereal before lifting the bowl to his mouth to drink the milk.

"Kid, you are wise beyond your years. People are insane," Alex agreed, swiveling the last mouthful of coffee in his white ceramic mug.

"I just spent one hundred dollars!" John yelled happily, coming through the door with a bunch of bags in his arms. "One hundred whole dollars! My card didn't decline! I didn't have to use more than one debit card to pay! I checked my bank account when I went in, and I had five hundred whole dollars in it! The last time that happened, I was like, nineteen!"

Alex got up to help John with the groceries, smiling at the younger man's excitement while taking some in one arm and leaning against his cane with the other. "Well, I'm glad you have some money, John. What did you get?"

"I got burgers, and I got condiments, I got pickles, I got buns, I got veggie dogs, chips, some beer because I know Herc is gonna want a drink or two, and so is Sally," John listed. "Oh, I also got grape juice and apple juice for the kids, popcorn, and a couple Redbox movies. I feel rich."

Alex started taking food out of bags. "You deserve it. So, who's coming?"

"Well, Herc, Sally, and James are my only parent friends, so I just invited them. What about you? Can Sally's future sugar mommy come?"

Alex chuckled. "Yes. She's coming, and then Lafayette, who instantly agreed when I mentioned Herc, as well as one of my old army buddies who I work with now, Thomas. He's can be difficult to love, but I'd take a bullet for the guy any day. Most assuredly one of my best friends."

"Is he helping you and Lafayette bringing the bill back to court?" John asked casually.

Alex chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, he's not exactly as liberal we are. He leans more towards the right. He's not against LGBTQ+, but he does agree with a lot of their policies, including this one. He does not hate parents or anything such as that, it's just, he's been single his whole life, no siblings, so this issue isn't exactly relatable for him. He needs education. He is truly good, he doesn't understand what this bill means to those who need it."

"Oh," John mumbled. "Is he open to change his mind?"

Alex nodded. "When I first met him, he was fully Republican, pro-life, supporting Mitt Romney, just, pretty awful. But, after he realized that the best people he's ever met are a feminist, an immigrant, a liberal, and a socialist, he kinda started changing. He's not there yet, but I think in the next few years I can get him to switch sides. He does have morals, don't worry. I asked him if he was voting for cheeto puff, and he looked at me and said 'I have standards for my country.' He did not fight in a war for this to happen."

"Alright, just, let's keep the conversation off of politics," John muttered, not quite sure how to feel about Thomas.

"Ha! John, none of us have any problem with that," Alex smiled, watching John put the food in the fridge. "We talk about politics all week, and by the weekend my brain is like, chewed gum." Alex stood up, leaning against his cane, his knee throbbing. "Alright, time to take some meds, because my knee is killing me."

"Alright," John said, moving a bit so Alex could get to the medication cabinet. Alex pulled out his prescription painkillers and put two in his coffee mug before refilling it with coffee and sitting back down, mixing in the pills. Alex sipped his coffee, the hazelnut roast doing little to mask the burning chemical taste of the pills.

"Why do you have a cane?" Phillip asked.

Alex just shrugged. "When I was in the war, I received severe nerve damage, and sometimes my leg hurts, and I can't walk on it, so I use a cane. I also take medication for it, so it doesn't hurt too badly."

"What happened?" Phillip asked.

"I got hurt," Alex said slowly, not wanting to talk about getting shot at and his days spent in a room with hardly any food and the smell of blood slowly making him go insane.

"Pip, go upstairs and get dressed," John said, sighing at his child's brashness. As much as he wanted to encourage Phillip learning, he was also trying to teach Phillip to get a filter, which has so far been pretty hopeless. John looked to Alex. "I'm sorry. He's just, he's a kid. I'm trying to teach him to not ask so many questions about stuff like this, but, well, he's five."

Alex shrugged. "I've had a child ask me why I'm ugly, and as long as Phillip doesn't ask anything like that, the kid can throw at me whatever questions he wants. I have near a million war stories I could tell him, and the rest are, well, the rest are war stories."

"Just, direct his attention elsewhere if you ever don't want to answer something, he's easily distracted," John instructed Alex, grinning. "I'm gonna shower and get dressed, then brush Phillip's hair and get everything ready."

"You do that, papa bear," Alex teased, eyebrows raised amusedly.

John did do that, then got everything prepared, pulling out the never before used barbecue that the governor had given Alex as a housewarming gift. John had on his blue skinny jeans and his white wife beater, having taken advantage of Alex's washing machine. The blue jeans were still ripped in the back of the thighs, below his ass, as well as the knees, and they were still pretty faded, but they still hugged his skinny legs snugly. John rolled them up at the ankle a bit since it was hot out, walking around on the grass with no shoes. Alex wore his casual blue jeans and a white tee shirt deal, keeping socks on and some low top vans.

"It's hot out, you sure you don't want to wear shorts?" John asked as sat down in a patio chair and began to wipe down the table.

"My leg is fucked up, and though I don't mind questions from kids, I'm not looking to be in an interview all night. I'm fine," Alex said. "What about you?"

John shrugged. "I don't own shorts unless my spandex shorts I use for dancing sometimes count, and while those are great at holding my dick in, they aren't very practical entertaining wear. No, I'm fine too. I've spent five New York summers in these jeans, I could probably spend five more."

"You need to go clothes shopping," Alex stated. "Like, John, I'll pay, but those jeans are one intense parenting moment from falling off of you."

John just shrugged. "I don't need new clothes, I have enough tee shirts for every day of the week, I have pants for work, and casual ones, and I have pajamas. I'm fine."

Alex stared at John for a second. "Do you believe in reincarnation?"

John almost jumped at the question, not expecting that. "Uh, no? Why?"

"Well," Alex continued. "I do. And I think that in one of your pasts, you were a farmer woman in Japan or Vietnam, and you were a minimalist, and you sold rice at a little stand and had very little, but you were happy. You, and your husband, and your five kids."

"I was a woman in a past life?" John asked, fighting back a grin.

Alex nodded. "I've been a woman before. I know it. No doubt you have as well. Anyway, I just think you've been a minimalist in your past lives."

"And what were you in your past lives?" John chuckled, not buying this whole reincarnation bullshit, but getting a laugh out of it. He sat down in front of Alex, watching as the smaller man tried to rub a stain out of the patio table with the cleaner.

"I've been a soldier before, and I was probably luckier than I've been in this life. A witch, maybe an artist at one point because I have this lust for acrylic paints and art supplies, though I hate using them," Alex listed. "I'm not a Buddhist, and I'm not religious, I'm spiritual. I know we have a purpose on this earth, and I know we reincarnate. I feel like nature is the best way to connect with anything out in the universe." Alex shrugged, looking up at John. "Wandering the planet with nothing to fuel you is, well, it's depressing."

"It's not that bad," John mumbled.

"Atheist?" Alex smiled, leaning back.

"I was raised Catholic, so I feel kind of bad about it, but yeah. I grew up with all the rules, no sex before marriage, no gays, church every Sunday, any other religion is bad and wrong, don't give into the seven deadly sins." John chuckled, ruffling up his hair a bit. "It was a lot of rules for a kid who hates rules in general. I came up with every excuse to skip church, worked to break every rule my father preached to me."

Alex nodded. "Yeah, I never grew up with anyone forcing religion on me or anything, and it's not like the army was a Christian only thing. It's easier for me to just, go with the flow. I believe there's an energy in the universe, and I believe it is in all of us. But, believe whatever you want. I don't care. However, please don't conduct satanic rituals in my living room, the carpeting is relatively new and I don't want to get it redone."

"You know, you have really low standards for me as your roommate," John chuckled. "You just don't want me to like, kill you or ruin the house, which I'm good at."

Alex just shrugged. "What can I say? I'm easy to please."

About an hour later, Lafayette walked through the door with a flustered Herc and an excited William, who instantly joined Phillip in the backyard. Herc had another case of beer in his hand, and Lafayette had brought a case of rose lemonade. Lafayette was wearing white shorts and a short sleeve white button up, unbuttoned just enough to expose the right amount of his chest, while Herc was wearing a simple blue button up over a white tee shirt and some shorts. Herc pulled John into a hug when he sees the younger man.

"He gave me and William a ride here in his convertible," Herc whispered quietly. "He is still flirting so much. I'm about to die, John."

"Did you go on the date, yet?" John asked, leading Herc into the kitchen as Laf and Alex talked.

Herc nodded. "We did. We went to dinner and he sat there and listened to me talk about my art and teaching art and my designing business and whatever came across my mind all night, and whenever I felt like I should stop, he just told me to keep going." Herc smiled. "He drove me to pick up William, and then he came in for a bit, drank some wine with me and watched a movie with me and William, checked out my studio."

"Does William like him?" John questioned, opening a beer and handing it to Herc, and then opening a beer him himself.

Herc nodded. "Oh, yeah, totally. He thinks Laf is super cool."

"Have you guys kissed yet?" John continued, almost giggling like a schoolgirl.

Herc smiled and looked down. "We went on a walk together on his lunch break, through central park, and he wanted to take a picture of me under a cherry blossom tree, and then he came over to show me the picture, and we were really close, and he kissed me."

John's eyes popped and his jaw dropped. "Oh my god! Was it good? Was he good? What did it taste like?"

While Herc filled John in on those details, Laf was over with Alex, swooning over the art teacher. Alex could barely handle how sappy and romantic Laf was being.

"He just, he's so soft," Laf went on. "And his lips, oh my God. I can't tell if I want him to sit on my lap and kiss me or sit on my face and ride me. Like, Alex, he's so perfect. Don't get me started on how cute he is. Okay, I'm started. He's adorable. Whenever I compliment him, he does this thing where he just looks down and he's smiling and then he'll sort of just bump into me as a reply and oh my god, I can't handle it. He makes me feel so happy and horny at the same time."

From across the room, Alex and John made eye contact with each other. John wiggled his eyebrows, listening to Herc talk about Laf was super sweet and caring and nice, while Alex just laughed, letting Laf talk about how he wanted to see Herc squirming and writhing beneath him.

"Alex, darling, don't be afraid, your favorite Schuyler is here!" Called a woman, whisking through the door. She had on a white hijab, a long sleeve yellow button up shirt that went down to her knees, as well as a pair of black leggings and some red All Star sneakers. She was drop-dead gorgeous, tan skin, gorgeous eyes, and confidence that radiated. She didn't seem scared of anything.

"Peggy, you truly are," Alex smiled, collecting the girl into a hug. "John, Herc, come here and meet my ex-sister-in-law. She works as the youth representative for New York state. I met her through my ex-wife obviously, when she was fifteen. I convinced her to run for youth representative, and she did so well that she got re-elected."

"You must be Alex's roommate," Peggy said, smiling as she shook John's hand. She turned to Hercules. "And you must be the man that has captured Lafayette's heart. You know, today we were talking about merry go rounds and Lafayette said-"

Lafayette cut Peggy off quickly. "Absolutely nothing interesting. Peggy, did you bring snacks or are you once again feasting off of us?"

Peggy held up a bag. "Fresh dates. I know Alex is a slut," Peggy drooped her eyelids and slid the word off of her tongue sharply. "For my garden, so I always bring him something. Alex, baby, you want one?"

Alex leaned forward on his cane, practically drooling. "I mean, yeah." Alex turned to John. "She has a gorgeous garden. She grows dates, lemons, strawberries, carrots, snap peas. She's the healthiest out of all of us."

"I am," Peggy bragged, smirking and walking over to the cabinet to find a large bowl for the fruit. "So, John, Alex tells me you have kids?"

"Kid," John corrected. "He's just in the backyard. Phillip's the short one with the longer hair. The other one is Herc's. Do you have any children?"

Peggy chuckled, pouring the dates into a bowl and letting Alex grab a couple of the dark fruits. "I wish. Haven't found a lady who can put up with me for that long, but you know, I'm young. Just because these guys have remained bachelors well into their thirties doesn't mean I will. Is this everyone?"

"Nah, I invited Jefferson, and John has two more friends coming over," Alex explained. A unique knock at the door triggered a smile across Alex's face. "Speaking of Jefferson." Alex hobbled over to the door, opening it for a tall man with light brown skin. He wore a grey tee shirt and some blue jeans, as well as some black glasses. His black hair was put in two large cornrows going back, and his body was built. Alex bro-hugged him with the arm that wasn't gripping his cane. "Hey, man, how you doing?"

"Pretty well, you lousy crip," Thomas grinned, offering a teasing smile to Alex.

"Shut up!" Alex laughed. He turned around and lead Thomas into the kitchen, where John, Herc and Lafayette were conversing while Peggy listened in. Alex cleared his throat to get their attention. "This is one of my closest friends, Thomas. Thomas, you know Peggy and Laf, but this is my roommate John and his friend, Hercules."

"It's a pleasure to meet you both," Thomas said with a charming smile.

John was a little thrown off. This was the man who voted to take away aid from single parents? He was so, so nice. He was relaxed and carefree, young, charming. John was almost hesitant to shake his hand, but did it anyway, not knowing how he could resist that smile and the overall joyful aura Thomas let off.

"Papa, papa!" Phillip called out, running in with William.

John bent over, scooped Phillip up, and situated the kid on his hip. "What is it, bud?"

"I'm hungry," Phillip said. "Me and Will are hungry."

"Alright." John decided, setting Phillip down. "Y'all heard the kids; time to take this party outside. Herc, you get the beer and some condiments, I'll get the grill stuff and the buns." John went into the fridge and grabbed the burgers, the chicken burgers, and veggie dogs. Herc grabbed cheese and ketchup, and mustard, and some relish, as well as the beer. The assemblage shuffled onto the patio through the screen doors. Phillip and Will were playing with the nerf guns, and John started the grill. "Alright, we got veggie dogs, chicken burgers, and regular burgers. Herc, tell James and Sally to text you when they're here because we won't be able to hear them knock."

Herc nodded. "'Kay. Just a regular burger for me."

"Cheese too?" John asked.

Herc nodded.

John turned to Phillip and William. "What kind of burger do y'all want?"

"Cheeseburger!" Phillip requested.

"Yeah!" William agreed, jumping up a bit and then taking off again, making laser noises.

"Alright, Alex, Peggy, Laf, Thomas, what do y'all want?" John asked, putting on some burgers for Phillip and William. The grill was very modern, so John could easily fit the orders on there, leaving it to cook. John found it a bit ironic that even on his day off, he was preparing fast food, but he doubted that anyone else knew how to work a grill.

"So, how old are your kids?" Thomas asked.

John peered at him through the haze created by the grill. "Phillip's five, Herc's is almost six though." John turned to Herc. "Oh, yeah, how are you doing on rent? You gonna make it this month?"

Herc shrugged. "Depends on if I finish this design by next Wednesday. I'll be fine though. It's not like he's gonna evict me. I've only been late a couple of times. He'll just add it onto next month."

"Non, mon amour, you will not be short. If you cannot pay it, you call me, and I will pick up the last couple hundred dollars," Lafayette insisted.

Herc shook his head. "I really can't ask you to do that. I just, I gotta bring work into my other work. Oh, and they might be doing budget cuts, and you all know that the art program is the first to get cut. I won't lose my job, but I can sure as hell promise that football field is gonna stay perfectly manicured even when there's no football while my top art students who have made honor roll all four years will be forced to use the same paints they've been using since they were a freshman."

"Herc is spilling tea," John grinned.

"Well, hold on," Peggy started. "I'm youth representative, do you have any people in your art classes who wouldn't be afraid to speak on behalf of the art programs in New York?" Peggy moved forward. "As someone whose childhood revolved around art, I know the importance of an art program. Do you think maybe you and I could sit down during my office hours and really talk about this?"

"Oh, um, really?" Herc said, automatically becoming shy again when he realized someone was taking him seriously. He had always talked to the school board, the principal, anyone he could about how important the art program was, but no one ever listened to him. No one wanted to listen to the shy, black dude covered in oil paint and pastel.

"Yes, of course," Peggy replied. She pulled out her card and handed it to Herc. "Please, give me a call. I'd really love to hear your side of this."

Herc took the card. "Oh, thank you, uh-" He cut himself off when his little flip phone buzzed. "Oh! James is here!"

John smiled wide. "Jemmy! Herc, you let him in, I'll check the burgers."

John smiled wide, standing up and going to the barbecue to check on the burgers, putting cheese on Herc's, while the art teacher left to let James into the house. A few seconds later the small man was coming through the back door, wearing cargo shorts and a white tee shirt. His son, Payne, ran to join Phillip and William, who ditched the Nerf guns when they saw him and started a game of tag, including James' son.

"Payne, hon, if you need your inhaler, come and see me!" James reminded the boy. He then turned to John, smiling. "Johnny, so nice to see you."

John offered James a side hug, pulling the man close to him and flipping the burgers. "Hey, Jemmy, I'm glad you could make it. Did you get a refill on your prescription?"

"Yes," James answered. "It was actually more than I expected, so I just took it out of groceries. Payne's eating fine, but I'm practicing for Ramadan which is something I don't even celebrate, but who's it gonna hurt? Ooh, are those chicken burgers?"

"I'm gonna cook you two," John chuckled, patting James' shoulder. "Go, sit down and relax." John turned to the group. "Hey, y'all, this is one of my other parent friends. His name is James. That's his son Payne. Uh, Herc, your burger is done." John put Herc's burger with the melted cheese onto a bun, and then on a paper plate, which Lafayette had brought over. Herc took his burger and John finished up burgers for the kids, calling them over. It didn't take long before everyone else had their burger, happily eating it while John sipped his beer, not feeling hungry at the moment.

"Where is Sally?" Herc mumbled around a mouthful.

"Please, that walking disaster couldn't tell time if her life depended on it," James snorted. "Laf, Peggy, Thomas, what line of work are you all in? I know that Alex works in government, but I haven't met y'all yet."

"We're all in government," Thomas answered, smiling kindly. "I'm the leader of the state law revision for the state of New York, Peggy is the youth representative, Lafayette runs the immigration offices for the state of New York, and well, you know Alex."

"Wow, big titles. I'm an English teacher," James chuckled, smiling. "I work over at East Side community high school. Honors, tenth grade. I would've taught ninth grade, but I hate Romeo and Juliet, and I didn't want to teach it."

"Cheesy and mindless bullshit, I wholeheartedly agree," Alex agreed. "Ridiculous that it's enforced in the curriculum."

James nodded, laughing. "For real. Shakespeare himself is a beautiful playwright, but Romeo and Juliet is not even close to his best work. Speaking of works, John, I saw you and Maria dancing on the studio's Instagram. You two looked good."

John smiled. "Thanks, we kinda started dancing to that song as just a way to warm up in the morning, but with the recital coming up for my students, I was thinking her and I could finally nail it down into a real dance so I can teach some other students."

"Oh, hey, Sally is here," Herc announced.

"I've got the door," John chuckled, getting up and walking through the house to the front door. He opened it, and in ran Sally's daughter, Beverly headed straight for the back door. Sally had her book bag slung over her shoulder and a bottle of wine in her hand. The girl's afro looked nice, and her blue sundress popped against her dark skin. John grinned broadly, gathering her into a hug, then leading her through the house.

"Guys, this is Sally, that's her kid, Beverly. Sally and I work together," John smiled. "Sally, dear, what would you like to eat? We have beer, wine, rose lemonade, juice boxers, burgers, chicken burgers, veggie dogs, chips, oh, and figs."

"Damn, who brought figs?" Sally laughed, wondering just how rich John's roommate was and why they brought figs to a barbecue.

"My dear friend Peggy did," Alex chimed. "She has a gorgeous garden."

Sally turned to look at the woman, then did a bit of a double take. Peggy stared at her, a small smirk plastered on her lips, watching Sally's eyes go a bit wide. It was a quick moment, so quick that no man could've ever picked it up, but in that moment, Sally and Peggy had both placed mental place-holders on each other.

"Alright," Sally said, smiling. "John, I would like a veggie dog. Peggy, why don't you tell me about this garden? I've always wanted a garden, but I've never lived in a place where I'm able to have on. What do you grow?"

Sally and Peggy struck up a conversation while John cooked Sally's burger, handing it to her and then returning to his seat. He was situated between Alex and Herc, next to Herc sat Lafayette, then Peggy at the head of the table. Sally on the other side, then James, then Thomas. The kids were running around, playing, and the adults were talking. It was nice.

They talked for hours, multiple conversations taking place simultaneously, Laf's hand carefully climbing Herc's thigh throughout the night until it finally found a resting place, just below the space between Herc's legs. Sally and Peggy trilled on about everything on God's green earth, smiling and sipping wine and rose lemonade. John drank his beer, laughing and talked to James and Thomas, as well as Alex, talking about all sorts of things. Around five, James cleared his throat.

"John, could you show me to the kitchen? I need to..." The shorter man trailed off, but John knew the drill.

"Oh, yeah, totally," John nodded, standing up.

James called over Payne and the three of them went inside. John showed James and Payne to the counter, seating them at the counter, and grabbing them each glasses of water. James opened his fanny pack and got out his nine medications, plus the three his Payne took. Payne, only five, could dry swallow pills like they were nothing. James could too. He'd been taking all sorts of pills since he was a child, so James was some sort of pro.

"I swear, if I get any lower on money, I'm gonna have to stop taking something," James muttered, shaking pills out into his hand after Payne had taken his dosage and gone to go play again. "I think I could probably stop taking the arthritis meds, as well as my depression meds. Then again, I don't exactly have to take my pain meds, it just hurts if I don't."

"I really don't think you should stop taking anything," John cautioned. "Look, if you need money, please, just ask. No one is going to let you come up short. James, you're taking nine pills right now, and they keep you functioning as a normal human being."

"I could stop taking my cardiovascular meds and let my heart fucking palpitate itself to death," James snorted.

"I'm sorry, what?" asked Thomas, appearing in the kitchen, having been sent to retrieve another case of beers.

"We're just deciding which meds I can stop taking since I'm poor," James stated casually. "I'm thinking pain meds."

"He's not going to stop taking any meds," John sighed.

"Well the government obviously thought I didn't need them," James supposed bitterly.

"Wait, how do you figure that?" Thomas asked, becoming curious.

John nearly smirked. Perhaps this little lesson in medication rationing could grant Thomas the wisdom he so desperately needed in order to view his repealment Parent and Child bill clearly. "Well, a couple weeks ago, the Parent And Child bill was repealed, which you, of course, know, and all of my friends, including me, relied pretty heavily on it, which is why I'm now living with Alex. James needed it to pay for his medication, and now he doesn't have enough money to pay for the medications that he and his son need. Amazing what a simple bill can do."

"Well, maybe that bill was repealed for a reason," Thomas said slowly, not quite sure what he'd walked into here.

"Oh, yeah, pay raise," John eyes widening in mock interest, pressing his hand to his heart in ridicule. "And tell me, Thomas, what are you doing with the money?"

An uncomfortable silence fell over the kitchen, John stared at Thomas intently, James looking from John to Thomas and drumming his fingers on the countertop awkwardly. Thomas felt a sweat break on his back as the eyes of the younger men burned holes through him. Finally, Thomas coughed, moving towards the fridge. "I just need to get a few more beers."

John smirked at Thomas's defeat. Thomas walked to the fridge, clearly self-conscious in the tense atmosphere, then careening towards the screen doors that led to the patio James and John returned soon after, John sipping a beer and James with his cup of ice water. They talked longer, stopped to put the kids in the living room to watch a movie. John was happy that Phillip was hanging out with friends. John always liked to make sure Phillip stayed social. It was nice to socialize with other adults too. John liked to pretend to be an adult sometimes, just like Phillip.

"Guys," Sally said, grinning. "I'm an irresponsible parent."

"Sally, no," Peggy chimed quickly, not understanding what the Sally meant.

John and Herc leaned forward, smiling wide, matching the girl's facial expression. "Sally, yes."

Sally pulled out a little tin box from her purse. "Can I do this around them? I mean, they are like, government officials."

"Just smoke it all before the cops get here," John reasoned as Sally opened the tin box. It revealed joints, lighters, and a bag of gummy edibles for James because he couldn't smoke.

"Yo, Jemmy," Sally said, tossing the bag to James.

"Wow, y'all are really just smoking weed," Thomas nodded.

John shrugged, taking a joint Sally handed him. "We don't get high, we just get a little buzzed. If we were getting high, Herc would've brought his bong."

"You have a bong?" Lafayette asked Herc, looking over at the dark man.

Herc laughed, lighting up his joint. "I was an art student, Lafayette, of course, I have a bong. I can make a bong."

"Well, if they're smoking weed," Lafayette muttered, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. "Alex? Thomas? You want any?"

"I'll take one," Alex muttered, taking an extended cigarette and putting it to his lips, accepting the lighter that John offered him. John didn't really mind the smell or taste of cigarettes, just not around his kids.

John accepted the lighter that Alex handed back to him and lit up his joint. "Don't tell me none of y'all have ever smoked weed. I mean, come on, it's the easiest drug to get a hold of."

"It's kinda just, like, a college drug," Thomas pointed out.

James smirked, munching on his THC filled gummy bears. "It's also a poor people drug. Besides, Sally gets free weed since she's friends with a dealer."

"Hell yeah I do," Sally agreed, smoke coming out of her mouth. "John, when's the recital coming up? I wanna go and see what you've been teaching those kids.

"Next week, on Saturday," John answered. "We're holding it in the Hunter college theatre." John took a hit of his joint. "Alex, you want some?"

Alex smiled, looking at John, then took the joint from John's hand and took a long hit before letting it blow out his nose. "I've definitely smoked a fair amount."

"A fair amount?" Thomas snorted. "Alex, you were high for a solid year and a half. I mean, your whole apartment was a hotbox. It was like a walk in a bong."

"Damn, John, since when do you have the cool roommates?" Sally chuckled.

Alex rolled his eyes, handing the joint back to John. "I wouldn't really consider myself cool but okay. So, Laf, are you seeing anyone?"

Laf, who had his arm around Herc, rolled his eyes. "Yes, I am. Why do you ask? You interested?"

Alex sighed wistfully. "I suppose you would've found out eventually."

"I will literally never understand their friendship," Peggy's lips curled. "They've always been so weirdly close. What is it?"

"It's because he speaks fluent French and we can talk about John Adams behind his back," Lafayette answered. "What time is it?"

"It's like, seven," John said, pulling out his phone as he finished off his blunt, putting it in the old ashtray in the middle of the table. "Laf, could I bum a smoke off of you?"

Laf nodded, extending a cigarette to John. "Yeah. What movie did the kids pick out?"

"Well, after about ten minutes of arguing, they agreed on Mulan, which is my personal favorite," John said. "I set em up with some popcorn, but the movie is gonna end in about, oh, fifteen minutes maybe? So I'd say that's all the time we have left before munchkins come out and complain that they want to go home."

"So what, tonight is at y'all's kids' mercy?" Thomas asked curiously. "I mean, can't you just tell them to wait or whatever?"

"Jesus, it's so clear you are not a parent," James stated. "Yes, tonight is at their mercy. Our whole freaking lives revolve around them. Anyway, I'm running on kid time too, and I'm about to pass out."

"Me too, James," John agreed.

The night went on, and soon enough, John was saying goodbye to Herc and Laf, the last people there. Herc was holding William in his arms, Laf smiling as they said goodbye. John smiled and nodded, waving and closing the door. Alex sighed and went back outside, and knowing Phillip was fast asleep on the couch, John joined him.

"You've got some interesting friends," Alex remarked lightly.

"I do," John agreed. "Hey, you've know Laf for a while, and I hate to ask this, but Herc's my best friend, and, I mean, is Laf good? Like, is he good in relationships? Because in case you haven't noticed, Herc is very soft-hearted, and he just, he can't handle someone playing with him or anything like that."

"Laf is very good," Alex assured John. "I believe that Herc is good for him, because Laf, when he likes someone, he truly likes them. He'll do anything for them and that may be under, um, understating it. I've never seen Laf lose his temper with the people he's dated, and he's never talked about any fights or anything. The last person he dated, her name was Adrienne. She was, she was pretty. She was also a bitch. Walked all over Laf, and he let her do it because he loved her. He, he was so blind to how cruel she was to him. Then, then finally he kinda like, just stopped loving her. Granted, it took me having a bit of an intervention and telling him what she was doing, but he left her. So yeah, he's real good in relationships, too good most of the time, but Herc seems sweet."

John nodded, looking at his half-empty beer bottle and taking a sip. "Do you drink at all?"

Alex shook his head. "Not in six years. I um, what is the expression? I fell off of the wagon. I had just gotten back from Afghanistan -for good- my wife had left me, I was suffering greatly from the PTSD, and I drank to fix it. I was very fortunate to have some friends who told me that they couldn't sit there and watch me kill myself, so it was either rehab or they would leave. I chose rehab, was there for a couple months, moved in with a friend for a bit after that, then I got the job I have now. War training was hard, but no one trains you to adjust back into civilian life."

John paused, then decided to let his curiosity get the best of him. "Do you have, like, strong PTSD?"

Alex nodded, unphased. "I do. It can get pretty bad sometimes. I take medication for it, but sometimes it doesn't work. I get many flashbacks, nightmares. My body can go into autopilot sometimes and it's like I'm back out there."

"Do you have any triggers?" John asked, brow furrowing.

Alex nodded. "Loud noises, thunder, gunshots, blood, screaming. I don't like getting really hot, or being unable to see. Crowds. I also hate the quiet. It makes me feel like I'm going crazy. Metal clinging together gets to me a lot too. I dunno, it's not really everyday sounds. It's hard for me to be in court sometimes, with the way the judge bangs the gavel. I have to leave sometimes."

John took a deep breath, thinking. "Do regret it? Do you regret joining?"

Alex scoffed and shook his head. "Never. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure others do, but I would've stayed until I died, it was the first time I ever felt like I had a purpose. I met some of the best people ever in the army, so nope, no regrets."

John smiled at Alex. "You're real good Alex, I hope you know that."

Alex just shook his head, the corners of his mouth turning up. "I hope I do too."


	4. If John does not take a nap within the next ten hours he may just keel over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umbrella Academy is valid to me because like Klaus, I am also gay and mourning a man who died in the war who could've been my gay husband (John Laurens)

John groaned as he woke up around midnight to his phone buzzing. It was Wednesday, morning, just three days after the lunch mixer that John and Alex had hosted. John’s shift was in a few hours, not yet having quit his bartending job, and he wasn't the happiest when he was awoken by his phone, but his face softened when he saw James' contact. John sat up, just in boxers and a tee shirt. He was tired, but he wasn't about to snap at James, since midnight phone calls with James only meant one thing.

"Hey," John started, trying to erase any sign of exhaustion from his voice.

"Hey, John, can you, can you come over?" James' shaky voice requested quietly. "I just, I don't trust myself to be alone right now and I'm really scared and I don't want to be alone, and Payne is at Herc's tonight because I was working late to help with something, and I just, I'm really scared, John."

"Hey, shh," John murmured. "I'll be there in ten minutes, okay? Can you sit on your couch and wait for me?"

"Yeah, I can," James mumbled. "Please, please hurry."

"Ten minutes," John promised. They said goodbye, and then John ordered an Uber before slipping on his clothes for the bar, figuring he'd go straight there from James’s. He done with his dance class early today, since his last class ended at two, so he was going to pick up Phillip and meet everyone else for lunch, since Peggy’s lunch break was around two, and Herc and James' work ended at two fifteen. They were all gonna meet in a park, and let their kids play while they hang out.

John got into the Uber when it pulled up, a note left on the counter for Alex in case he got worried. The ride to James' apartment building was quick, and John got out, thanked the Uber driver, and began to climb the steps to James’s apartment. Since John was in good shape, it didn't take him long to get to James' door, knocking a couple times, holding his breath until he saw James standing there, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt.

"Hey, Jemmy," John said lightly, pulling the smaller man into a hug. James pulled John into the apartment, closing the door and sitting bringing John into his bedroom, the two of them sitting on his bed across from each other, their knees touching. John gently held James' hands as the shorter man closed his eyes and took deep breaths.

"I'm sorry," James said after a small pause. "I know you were probably sleeping, and I know you have work soon, but I just, I didn't know who to call, and I felt so scared and alone. I felt like I was going to do something and I was so terrified of being alone and I haven't been able to sleep yet, and I just, I don't know."

"Hey, no, don't be sorry," John said gently, wiping away a tear that had started to fall from James' cheek. "No, it's okay. I don't mind being here with you, James. It's okay. I'm right here. I'm not leaving you. It's okay."

James leaned forward, pressing his forehead against John's chest. "I don't deserve you, John. You're so good. I just, I mean, you're one of the few people who would actually do this for me. John, you're just, God, thank you."

"Hey, I would always do this. I love you very much, James, and you're one of my closest friends," John stated. "I'll always be here for you. There's nothing you can do to get rid of me. I don't want you to get hurt, or be alone."

"I know I have to remember to stay alive, for you, for Herc and Sally, for my son, but it's just so hard sometimes," James sniffled. "I mean, I wasn't good enough for my parents, I wasn't good enough for the mother of my child. It's my fault my child is five and can already dry swallow pills. I mean, there's no way he got all those illnesses from his mother. I just, I feel like I make everything worse. You guys give me what little money you have so I can be healthy, you guys drop everything for me. I'm supposed to be a responsible adult and I can barely hold it together. I'm so sorry I'm like this. I wish I didn't have to be, be such a burden."

"No, honey, you're not a burden," John assured James. "You need a little extra help, and that's okay. I can promise you that if you were gone, nothing would be the same. I know you feel alone, but please remember that Herc, Sally, and I, we all care about you so much. It's not a bother to help you, because we want you to be okay. You matter so much to us, James. We would never want to live without you."

A small sob broke from James' chest. "I just want to be happy, John. I want to be able to be okay, and it feels like nothing works anymore. It feels like everything I do is hopeless."

"Shh, no, it's okay," John whispered quietly, taking James' face in his hands and wiping tears away. "It's gonna be okay. I promise. We're always gonna be here. We're not leaving you. No one is going to leave you. I'm not going to leave you. I'm right here, I'm right here. Deep breaths, it's okay. I'm right here. You're not alone."

James' lower lip quivered as he stared up into John's hazel eyes. For a moment, it was deadly quiet in the room, only the sound of breathing filling either of their ears. John could feel James' breath blowing over his skin, but he didn't mind how close they were. He just gently wiped James' tears, looking back at the small man.

John was startled when he felt James' lips against his. It was a bit forceful but still soft. James was leaning upward, kissing the younger man desperately, needily. John kissed back, pulling James into his lip and leaning backward, letting the small man's hands roam his body. Their breath came out in short small gasps, and they didn't stop to think. They just kissed.

"Then I gave him a blow job," John recalled to Herc as they sat at the picnic table, waiting for Sally and James to show up. They were at a little playground, sitting at a picnic table while their kids played. John was snacking on a bag of snap peas while Hercules ate beef jerky, one of Herc’s favorite foods.

"You what?" Hercules said loudly, his eyes wide as he listened to John talk about his encounter with James barely twelve hours ago.

"And he gave me a hand job," John continued, almost smirking. "Then we made out for like, a really long time, and then he fell asleep, and I went to work."

"John, are you fucking with me?" Herc asked incredulously.

John shook his head, taking another bite of his food.

"Okay wait, so what does this mean? Are you and James dating now?" Herc asked, leaning forward. "Like, I mean, I never thought you two would get together, but I could see it. Although, you're into that really rough sex and James has to take a hit of his inhaler after climbing a set of stairs, and-"

John cut Hercules off. "He met me outside the bar after my shift, and we sat in his car and talked about what happened. We both decided that it would be best if we just, put it behind us." John shrugged. "I'm fine with it. I mean, James and I are friends, and it would be weird if we went out. "

"I'm sorry, so, you sucked his dick? How was it? Was it long? Probably not, but tell me anyway," Herc begged, taking a bite of jerky.

"Nothing to scoff at," John informed the man. "Gives a mean handjob though. I was in my work inform so I had to pull the jeans down and my shirt up so I didn't get jizz on it or anything. It's a lot hotter when it isn't your hand."

"Is he a good kisser?" Herc continued.

John nodded. "He's definitely not bad, but he's too sweet. You know me, I'm not into that sweet shit."

"Hey guys," James greeted, sitting down next to John with a bag of Goldfish.

"The height difference though," Herc whispered, causing John to nudge him with his foot. Herc cleared his throat. "Hey, Jemmy, what's cracking?"

James paused, staring at Herc, looking to John. "I'm guessing he knows?"

John shrugged casually. "I don't keep secrets from Herc."

"Yeah, alright," James agreed. "Herc, thanks for picking up Payne. With work and all, there was no way I was gonna be able to pick him up, then make dinner. I really owe you one."

"Nah," Herc replied. "It's all good."

"Hey, guys!" Sally chimed, sitting down. "Sorry, I'm late. I got distracted and lost track of time. How are y'all?"

"Oh, we're well, John gave James a blowjob, I'm working on a quinceanera dress, the usual," Herc stated casually. "How about you?"

"Oh, I'm well," Sally smiled. "I've actually been talking to Peggy a lot and-" Sally stopped abruptly, thinking. "John gave James a blowjob?"

James sighed, throwing up his arms. "Yes! John gave me a blow job, the sky is blue, and we're not a thing, still just friends, can we move on?"

"Wow, alright," Sally nodded. "Uh, okay. I guess that's an image I can talk to my therapist about. No, uh, Peggy, that girl who was at the barbecue, I got her number and we've been talking a lot. She's kinda cute, wouldn't you say?"

"She is," Herc agreed, smiling. "You should ask her out."

Sally just shrugged, taking a bite of the dried fruit she bought. "Maybe. I don't even know if she's interested in girls or not though. Maybe she's just being friendly."

"No, she's lesbian," John stated quickly. "Alex told me. Ask her out."

Sally just rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna get to know her a little better before I propose, but yeah, she seems really nice. She's a bee farmer, and she sent me a picture of having tea with her bees in the garden, and it looked beautiful. She's very pretty."

"She is," James nodded. "Herc, what about you and Lafayette? You guys seem close."

"Well, we went on another date," Herc smiled. "Sally, thank you again for babysitting. No, uh, we went out for dinner together. I was very underdressed, just wearing some shorts and a tee shirt, and then Laf pulled up wearing a suit, in his convertible. I was so flustered because he looked so hot and I looked like well, a dad. Like, I full on looked like a middle-aged parent. I know I am a middle-aged parent, but still. Anyway, Laf and I went to a really nice Japanese restaurant and we had a private room with a view of the city, and it was so gorgeous."

"Damn, get you a sugar daddy, Herc," Sally laughed, nudging him a bit.

Herc chuckled. "For real. No, we went out and we had dinner, then we got dessert from a little Italian ice shoppe, and he drove us back to his place. We opened a bottle of wine and lied down on his bed, which is huge by the way, and talked for about an hour. I swear, we have yet to run out of conversation. Anyway, after about an hour, we started making out."

"And then?" John gasped, his eyes wide.

"Well, I mean, the man can eat ass like a God," Herc chuckled, smirking a bit. "Like, damn, his tongue can work wonders. I literally came from it. After that, I gave him a blow job, and then we fell asleep. I woke up around six with him the next morning, and then we showered together, which lead to some making out and then pleasant handjobs, and then he dropped me off at work. It was, wow, it was fantastic."

"Damn, fucking get it, Herc," John chuckled. "Is he nice?"

Herc nodded, smiling and sighing. "So nice. Oh, and he's so gentle. He's just like, like, I don't know how to explain. He just makes me feel good."

"Aw," James smiled. "That's really good. I'm glad he's making you happy. Does William like him? Does he like William?"

Herc nodded. "Yes, and yes. William thinks he's super cool, and Laf thinks William is like, an amazing kid. Oh my god, I haven't felt like this about someone since I met William's mother, and I'm literally dying." Herc took another bite of his food. "God, he's just so hot. I really need to get better at French, because when we were in the shower, which is a gorgeous stone walk in, by the way, he had me pressed up against the wall and was whispering all these things in French to me, and I didn't really know what he was saying, but it was hot as shit."

"Well, at least one of us is getting some," John nodded.

Meanwhile, all the way downtown, Alex sat in his office, bored as Lafayette talked about Hercules and how great of an ass he had. Alex had been listening to Lafayette talk about this for the past hour and was starting to get tired of it. I mean, there was only so long you could listen to your friend talk about his sex life before you began to get sick of it. Alex was about to go crazy, but thankfully, Laf changed the subject, probably realizing Alex hadn't said anything in the past fifteen minutes.

"So, anything going on in your love life?" Lafayette asked, changing his positions on Alex's office couch so his feet were up on the little table in front of it.

"My wife let me," Alex stated, bored. "Really? Nothing. I jerk off in the bath, and then I get ready for work. Not many people are interested in a thirty-four-year-old war veteran with a fucked up face and a hearing aid."

"How about John? He's cute," Lafayette asked, looking over a person's background on his laptop so he could consider them for a green card. They were from Cuba, no history of violence or drugs, two kids and a wife, in desperate need of money so that he could stay. Lafayette found it easy to approve him.

"John? Yeah, uh, in my dreams, maybe," Alex snorted. "He's cute, but there's no way he's interested in me. He's this young kid who's got his life ahead of him, and I'm about halfway done with mine."

"You make it sound like you're more than nine years older than him," Lafayette pointed out. "I'm eight years older than Herc and we still get it on. Besides, you could date John without looking like a total douche. He's old enough."

"How do you know that?" Alex said slowly.

"Your age, divided in half, plus seven," Laf stated plainly. "He's older than twenty-four, so you can date him. Why not?"

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but there's a whole other party who would have to consent to this," Alex huffed. "Look, I really don't think he's interested in me. He's nice to me, and we're friends, but I don't think that's really gonna change."

Lafayette groaned loudly, shutting his laptop and getting up to sit on the edge of Alex's desk. "Listen, I get that you got your hopes shot out of you in Iraq or whatever, but for once, for once, can you just pretend to not be such a realist and dream with me for a little while?"

Alex sat back, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. "And what would that entail?"

Lafayette shrugged. "What do you like about John? Physical aspects first. Tell me what you like about his looks."

Alex thought for a second. "His legs and ass are great. Like, holy shit. He's got this bubble butt and it's so great. I just want to touch it all day. And then he's got great arms. I mean, he's kind of tall and skinny, but he's still got muscle. Also, it's really hot that he can like, just bend however he wants. Uh, I don’t know. The boy is handsome, and man, does he know it. He's got like, peach fuzz facial hair and he can't even grow it. Oh, god, he's got these intelligent eyes, and sometimes you can just see this fire in them, and it's so, so wonderful. Oh man, Laf, his brain. He's so smart. I mean, he's a math whiz and can just do it in his head, and he knows how long it takes to get from one place to another in New York, and he's got such a way with words. He'll let me talk, and you can just tell he's listening, and he's so sweet. He cares so much about other people, and it kills me. He's just, he makes me feel helpless and satisfied all at once, and I just, man, whenever I'm with him I forget my own name."

"Man, you are whipped," Thomas chuckled, walking in Alex's office. "I heard about half of that, and it sounds like you should ask him out."

Alex rolled his eyes. "What do you need?"

"Signature, dear, for the bill that got repealed," Thomas smiled, handing Alex the clipboard. The bill he was talking about was, of course, the Parent And Child bill.

"What happens if I don't sign it?" Alex asked slowly.

"Then the money can't go to our pay raise," Thomas stated, leaning against Alex's desk and sighing. "The money just piles up with nowhere to go."

Alex paused. "Go get Washington. I wanna ask him about something. I won't sign it until you do, Thomas, and you know I'm not one to break my word."

"You are impossible," Thomas groaned.

Alex smiled cheekily as he walked out of the room, and then went to check the financial state of the government to see that the money meant to go to all the single parents had been put in a separate account. It was a lot, and it would offer a large pay raise to high-ranking government officials, but what did they need with that money? Nothing, really. Alex had saved up a couple million, and put it in his account to hold onto it. He didn't really do much with it since it was his savings account, but he enjoyed having the money just in case something happened.

"What are you gonna ask Washington?" Lafayette questioned slowly.

"I'm gonna ask him if refusing to sign that would get me impeached or shutdown the government," Alex stated. "And if it won't, then there's no way I'm gonna sign that. I love Jefferson, but he can fucking kiss my ass when it comes to this. I can't believe the mother fucker voted to repeal this. It's bullshit. I mean, you know how hard John and Hercules work! And then James, who can barely even pay for medication. This has to be unconstitutional."

"It's not technically illegal," Lafayette sighed. "They can do that. I just can't believe how little people voted to keep the bill. I mean, I'm rich and I like my money, but even before I knew Herc and John, I knew how important the bill was."

"Son, Thomas said you needed to see me," Washington stated, coming through the door in his slim grey suit. Washington was a tall man, broad shoulders, with a no-nonsense look on his face whenever he was at work. When he was out of work, Thomas, Alex, and Laf knew that he could be fun and let loose, but he took his job very seriously. He had been a major in the army, and that was where he’d gotten his quick thinking from, and where he’d met Alex and Thomas.

"Major Washington, I have an inquiry for you," Alex sang, leaning back and putting his feet up on his desk, which is something Washington would've punished with ten laps around camp when Alex was a ranger with two working legs. Since Washington was only the governor and Alex was pretty handicapped, the feet remained on the desk.

"Ranger, what is your question?" Washington replied. He and Alex never quite dropped the formalities of that, but it was now more in a joking manner than anything else.

"Thomas wants me to sign a form that will clear the money from the Parent And Child bill to go into our paychecks" Alex started, spinning a pen in his fingers. "Unfortunately, I don't want to do that, because I think it's disgusting that we're taking a lifeline away from single parents. My question is if I don't sign this, will I get impeached, or will the government shut down?"

Washington paused, then sat down in the leather chair across from Alex. "Well, aren't you working on bringing the bill back to court?"

Alex nodded.

Washington sighed. "Well, you would need to get a majority from the other side to bring it back, but that could take years, which is time most parents don't have. If you wanted to put this operation on hold, the government would have to provide pension to the parents, offering them this months money. While we couldn't offer next months money, it would definitely help, them right now. To do this, of course, we'd have to have a debate. This issue wouldn't go to Congress, and the only person you would have to convince is me."

Alex smirked, looking up to an obviously annoyed Thomas. "Oh, Thommy, I think you and I oughta have a bit of a conversation. A debate, maybe? Of course, it should be open to the public. We wouldn't want them missing out."

Thomas let out a long sigh. "I'm gonna beat you with your own leg."

Alex just smiled, standing up. "Let's go."

Several minutes later, Alex was standing at a podium in front of the building, getting his mental house in order for the debate.

"The issue on the table," Washington started as Thomas stood across from him and Washington between them. "The Parent and Child bill was voted to be repealed, but Alexander Hamilton has chosen to challenge that vote publicly. The only person they have to convince is me. Thomas Jefferson, you have the floor."

"The government has been on death's door, and we have been needy, but then we rebuilt our financial system, gave ourselves a new line of credit-"

Alex cut Jefferson off. "Thanks to me."

Thomas sighed. "And now that we've rebuilt out government, it is time that the people responsible for that get recognition. It is not our job to pay freeloaders who feed off the government so they don't have to work. We are not supposed to be their lifeline. If they cannot afford children, then maybe they shouldn't have children."

Alex snorted, rolling his eyes as he watched the flash of cameras from reporters.

"Senator, as a veteran, you know that you only get what you earn. If these people do not have the money they need, then do they deserve it? Why should we give away money that should go rightfully to us? We've worked for it, we've earned it. And if you don't know, now you know, governor Washington."

"Thank you, Mr. Jefferson," Washington sighed. "Mr. Hamilton, your response."

Alex stood up straight, shooting a quick smirk to Lafayette before speaking. "You must be out of your goddamn mind if you think the governor is dumb enough to believe that you need more money, that you've earned more money. Do not pull the veteran card on this. I fought right next to you, Thomas, I have scars to remind me of those days, and I have gotten what I earned. I have a home, a car, more cars that I need in fact, and I have never feared about missing a meal. I know single parents who work three jobs, six days a week, waking up at two am so they can catch a shift that starts at three am, then coming home at seven pm, exhausted. I know single parents who work as freelance designers out of their apartment to pay for rent, on top of their other job. Parents who are trying to just provide their children with food and medication, parents who exploit themselves just so their kids can be well fed. You don't know this though because you haven't once actually spoken to a single parent about what they go through. You call these people lazy, and yet they do more than I know I could."

"Enough, enough," Washington stated, cutting Alex off. "Hamilton is right. Frankly, the ordeal with this bill is too fragile to set anything in stone."

"Mr. Senator-"

Washington cut Thomas off. "Thomas, frankly it's a little disquieting that you would let your greed blind you to the harsh reality some people live in. I don't want to hear another word about it. Hamilton."

"Sir," Alex acknowledged.

"Draft a statement of neutrality. The pension will be paid to parents, and anyone who was under the protection of the bill will be offered food stamps," Washington stated before stepping away. The flash of cameras went off and Alex posed, smiling.

"Mr. Hamilton, tell me, does this push of support for the bill have anything to do with your relationship with Jonathan Laurens, the man who spoke when the bill first went to court?" A reporter asked rapidly.

"I"m sorry, what about my relationship with John Laurens?" Alex asked, leaning forward.

"You and Mr. Laurens have been rumored to be sharing a home, and sources have spotted you two out together multiple times," The reporter went on, causing Alex to tilt his head and Thomas to snicker into his microphone.

"Jonathan and I are friends and roommates. I've never had any shame in my relationships, but I can safely say that I am very single, and my relationship with Mr. Laurens is strictly platonic. If the bill had never been repealed, we would have never met, but seeing as his housing situation had gone down the gutter, I did the only thing a normal person would do, I took him in. Currently, though, I am single, so if you know anyone." Alex chuckled. "Are there any other questions? Preferably related to this?"

"What do you get out of all of this? You fight for a bill, but if it were to be repealed, you would get a pay raise, so why fight so hard to keep it?" Another reporter questioned, shoving a microphone as close to Alex as possible.

"I'm not some pompous asshole who believes that my paycheck is more important than children and their parents," Alex snapped. "People are out there struggling, and doing their damn best. Just because their hard work hasn't quite paid off, doesn't mean that it isn't worth anything. I will no longer be taking questions."

Alex walked off the podium, storming quickly back inside and up to his office, Lafayette right behind him and Thomas staying to answer a few more questions. Alex couldn't believe the nerve of some reporters. Did the public really think so little of him? Alex got to his office and sat back down, typing furiously. Now that the bill was frozen, he only had so long to work up a defense. Lafayette walked in a few seconds later, sitting back down on the couch, flipping through open tabs on his laptop and then eventually deciding on Youtube. Lafayette was happy when he got a text from Herc. It was a cute selfie of Herc in his studio, and then the words 'I'm bored. Talk to me.' Lafayette just sighed dreamily, instantly firing back a text filled with the poetic structure of a god.

"Laf," Alex muttered. "Turn your phone on silent. It's buzzing is going to make me go crazy. If you need to send dick pics, just close the curtain."

"Thank you for your consideration," Laf said sarcastically, turning his phone on silent. The two went on, tired, but grateful to be at work.

John, on the other hand, wouldn't rather be anywhere else. He stood in the locker room, his shirt off, trying to hide from the evil stare of his manager, who wasn't saying anything. John could feel his lunch turning in his stomach as he slipped the shirt on, then took off his jeans and slipped on the slim black pants. He was about to brush past his manager like he always did, but suddenly, Ben grabbed his arm.

"My shift is starting," John mumbled slowly, his hands shaking a bit as Ben gripped his arm a bit tighter. "I need to go."

There was a moment where nothing changed, but then Ben released John's arm and John quickly made his way down the hallway and into the kitchen, then up to the register. It wasn't quite as busy as it usually was, so Nathan was just leaning there, waiting for John to keep him company.

"Hey, I gotta ask you something," John spat out quickly, looking over the nineteen-year-old kid in front of him, praying nothing was happening to him.

"Hm?" Nathan hummed, looking up through his dirty blonde bangs.

"Ben, he never uh, he never like, does stuff to make you uncomfortable, right?" John questioned, glancing around for a second.

"I mean, I hate working the late shifts he makes me do, but no, nothing too bad. Why?" Nathan replied, peering at John curiously.

John just shrugged, sighing with relief. "No, no reason. Just wondering."

Nathan, not believing that for a second, offered a half smile. "So, is Phillip keeping us company tonight?"

"Nope," John shrugged. "Hercules is picking him up and dropping him off at the house when he gets a text from my roommate, and then I'm catching the subway home." A sigh escaped John's lips. "Man, I gotta quit one of my hussles. I'm dying, man. I'm up by two every morning, and shit, I really could use a day off, you know? Something other than Saturday."

"Maybe stop working shifts six days a week," Nathan suggested. "I mean, you're here all day Sunday, and then every weekday. You could ask to just be part-time."

John just waved his hand, laughing a bit. "I don't want a solution, Nathan, I just want to complain."

Nathan chuckled. "Sometimes it's hard to remember you're only twenty-five, then you say something like that."

John groaned as a few customers came in. "I swear, I'm gonna have a midlife crisis real soon. Like, I'm gonna drop all my savings on a new car or something. Wait, all my savings couldn't even buy a used car. I'll buy an iPhone or something."

"Yeah, I'm surprised that thing still works," Nathan chuckled, referring to John's old Tracfone thing. It wasn't fancy or flashy, but it worked. It had shit camera quality, which sucked when John wanted to take pictures of Phillip, but it could call and text, and that was what John really needed.

"Hush up, Beatrix is fine," John smiled as Nathan began tending to the customers. The shift went by fast, Nathan leaving about halfway through since his shift ended. John was exhausted by the time seven o'clock rolled around. Dante, from the kitchen, had brought John coffee and asked if he needed a ride home after the shift, but John just shook his head and told Dante he was fine. Dante was another one of John's work friends. He was tall, wide, with Mexican heritage. He was very kind, very protective, purposely messing up orders sometimes so John or Nathan could eat.

"Hey, have a good night, Dante," John said, exiting the kitchen and into the back hallway towards the locker room. John entered the room and pulled off his shirt, then stood there for a second, listening to the sound of his manager's footsteps get closer. John was very good at hearing people approach, a skill he had earned while living with his father for eighteen years of his life, being the only person that the man hated.

Sexual harassment TW

"How was your shift?" Ben asked as he walked into the locker room, farther than where he usually hangs back, which is just in the doorway.

"Fine," John said quietly, reaching for his other shirt, which was in his locker. He froze when he felt a hand on his back, fingertips brushing down his skin, over his ribs and spine. John gripped his locker door tightly, staring straight forward. He instantly took his mind to another place, thinking about the dance to Ophelia. In his mind, he pictured himself doing the step he kept messing up perfectly. It's one-two-one-two-three and then lift and step and spin.

John's hand, still tightly gripping the locker door, slid down harshly a couple of inches when he felt Ben's hands move to his lower stomach. John could feel blood from the rough edge of the locker slicing into him. His skin was crawling, his jaw was clenched. He was frozen. He couldn't move, he couldn't get his voice to work. He felt petrified.

"I need to go home," John finally cracked out as Ben's hands touched his chest.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Ben said amusedly, releasing John and exiting the room. John stood still for a second, his heart in his throat and his eyes about to spill over. He brushed it off though, grabbing a paper towel and squeezing it in the hand with the gash on his hand, then finished getting dressed. A bit of blood got on the waist of his blue skinny jeans, but John ignored it, slipping on his tee shirt and walking out of the building, hands shaking as he requested an Uber. The car came and John sat in the back quietly, squeezing the blood-stained paper towel and trying to stop himself from shaking. He got out of the Uber when it arrived and climbed up the stoop, thinking solely about a shower and a long sleep.

"Hey, John," Alex greeted John from the living room, Moana playing in the background.

"Hi," John mumbled hoarsely, going straight to the steps.

Alex, being able to tell when something was wrong with anyone from a mile away, and not wanting John to feel sad, was up and off the couch where Phillip sat, coloring. He went to the bottom of the staircase John was still climbing, staring up at the man, not indulging himself in a quick peek at John's ass. "Hey, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," John said quickly.

John obviously didn't lie that often, because he really sucked at it. Alex climbed the steps after him, worried. "Hold on, John, slow down for a second, you don't sound fine. Did something happen? Are you okay?"

"I'm fucking fine," John snapped, turning around.

The sudden burst of anger shocked Alex, so he backed down a bit. "Hey, I'm just worried. I want to make sure you're okay, and you don't sound or look okay. I mean, you're shaking, John. Did something happen?"

John, whose guard was still way up, looked down at Alex. "It's fine. I'm fine. It's none of your business." Truthfully, John wanted to break down and cry. "Leave it."

Alex moved carefully closer to John, gently taking the hand that was still tightly squeezing the paper towel. John glared down at Alex, but let him open his hand and move the paper towel to reveal the gash. Alex peered over the still bleeding skin, not touching it, then he looked up to John. "Go, shower. Come downstairs when you're done, I'll bandage up your hand."

John just nodded, not saying anything, walking down the hall and into the bathroom. He ignored his Pavlov, showering off quickly, scrubbing himself down and trying to get the feeling of his manager's hands off of him. John could feel the light fingertips brushing across his stomach. John just shuddered, washing his hair and body, taking a few moments to sit under cold water to rid himself of the boner that had formed out of habit.

John stepped out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, and went to his room. His wrapped the towel around his head, then slipped on some sweatpants and his hoodie, sighing as he dried off his hair a bit more, then put it up in a bun before walking to the second floor, into the living room where Phillip was.

"Hey, buddy," John said, smiling and sitting down on the couch.

"Hi, papa," Phillip replied, smiling and hugging John.

"How was your day, kid? Did anything fun happen?" John continued, clenching his cut open hand so not to scare or startle Phillip.

Phillip nodded. "Uncle Herc made star-shaped pancakes for dinner, and we had bacon and orange juice. It was super fun. We should have breakfast for dinner. I got tired though and Uncle Herc let me take a nap while he and William watched cartoons."

John chuckled. "Are you still hungry bud?"

Phillip shook his head. "No, I ate so many pancakes. Over a hundred."

"Wow, over a hundred?" John gasped, playing along with Phillip's story. "Man, I don't think I could ever eat that many pancakes. Papa's gonna go get some dinner, then how about we watch some cartoons and go to bed?"

"Okay, papa," Phillip nodded, looking back to his coloring sheet. John stared down at it for a second, noticing the new crayons and book. He had absolutely no idea where that came from. John was completely perplexed.

"Hey, buddy, where'd you get that?" John asked, gesturing to the book.

"Alex gave it to me," Phillip smiled. "It has French in it, and he said that when he was learning French, he liked coloring books with French words in them."

"Hm," John said, standing up. "Well, are you enjoying it?"

Phillip nodded. "I'm coloring a chat right now!"

John smiled, leaning down and kissing Phillip's head. "Alright, well, I'll be right back up with some food, and we can watch some cartoons. Alright?"

Phillip smiled. "Okay, papa."

John nodded and walked down the stairs slowly to the kitchen. He saw Alex at the counter, sitting and reading over some papers, his laptop open in front of him. John stopped and sighed, staring at the man. He felt bad for snapping at him. Alex had been nothing but kind, and John had on occasion been abrasive, rude, and angry. John couldn't help but watch the man work. The way his choppy brown bangs hung over his forehead, getting blown back by Alex every few seconds. Alex was obviously not young, but he still held a young spirit, and it made John smile.

"Hey," John said quietly. Alex looked up, smiling, patting the stool next to him and then going to get a large first aid kit from the closet next to his safe. Alex sat back down and took John's hand, looking over the gash before opening the first aid kit and pulling out a few Q-tips and some antibiotic ointment.

"This won't sting, I promise," Alex stated, squeezing some of the offwhite goo onto a Q-tip and gently swabbing it over the cut.

John paused, sighing. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for snapping at you. It had just been a long rough day, and I know that's no excuse, but I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Alex said easily. "It was none of my business, I just get worried easily. I don't want you to get hurt or anything."

John shrugged. "I think I'm gonna quit my job at the fast food place."

Alex hummed, getting some gauze to wrap around John's hand. "Why so?"

John just looked around a bit. "I dunno. I never liked working there, and if I did, I would have my afternoons free. I'd rather wake up too early than stay out too late. Flipping burgers isn't exactly my idea of a nice night." John flinched a bit as the gauze pressed down on the gash. "Ow. Shit, this hurts."

"How'd this even happen?" Alex questioned, pulling out some tape to wrap around John's hand so he couldn’t move it and the wound would heal faster.

"Oh, just my locker," John mumbled. "I was holding onto it and attempting to sleep upright and then one of my coworkers walked in and startled me and I cut open my hand."

"Shit, you should like, sand that down a bit," Alex chuckled, looking up and meeting John's eyes. Alex hadn't realized how close their faces were, because Alex was staring right into John's eyes, their faces only a few inches away. John didn't seem fazed though, just looked back at Alex.

A blush began crawling up Alex's neck as John gently placed the uninjured hand on his cheek. Alex leaned into it softly, still not breaking eye contact with John. The two sat there quietly, the sound of their breath and Phillip's singing from upstairs flowing through the air quietly. Alex almost jumped when John leaned in and gently kissed his cheek. John's lips were soft against the five o'clock shadow that needed to be shaved. John's lips lingered against Alex's skin, not quite moving. John could feel the heat in Alex's face and almost smiled at it.

"Thank you," John whispered. "For everything."

Alex was a spluttering mess as John pulled away, leaning back a bit. "Oh, oh! It's really no problem. I mean, I got medical training in the army so your hand is no problem, and I couldn't just let you and Phillip live in the streets. I truthfully don't mind that you're living here. It makes me feel less lonely. Not that I'm a lonely person, just sometimes the house gets empty. Not with you in it though."

John just stared at a flustered Alex, a smirk on his face.

Alex noticed this and chuckled, looking down at the hand he was bandaging up. "Yeah. Uh, um, yeah. Anyway, uh, you're gonna get another check from the government, and so are all the other single parents. This Friday."

John sat up. "Are you being for real?"

Alex nodded. "I uh, I was supposed to sign some form that would approve the money to start going into government officials paychecks, but I didn't want to, so I had a big debate with Thomas, you know him, and we had to convince the governor on what to do, and then I won. So, what's gonna happen is, parents are going to get this months check, then it's going to be put on hold, so no one will get the money. By doing this, it means the bill is going to become a top priority, people will be reviewing it, which means we'll have cabinet meetings for it, and discuss it. This buys us time and wages fear onto the right side, and then we'll have more time to convince more people. I think the main person we would have to convince is Thomas, since he holds power on that side, and his vote matters most."

"Holy shit, and you did that?" John asked, smiling.

Alex nodded. "Who said being stubborn was a character flaw?"

"Thank you, oh my god, thank you," John cried out, his now bandaged hand gripping Alex's, a smile falling over his face. "Oh my god, I could put it into Phillip's college fund. Lord knows that thing needs some attention. Oh, thank you, Alex. Thank you so much. You don't know how much this means to me. Oh, my friends, they'll have the money too. Oh! This means Herc won't fall short on his rent payment! Sally won't get evicted, James will be able to afford medications. I know it's just this month, but now that everyone will know what's coming, they'll be able to save some of the money. This is a Godsend. Thank you, Alex."

Alex just waved his hand, scoffing. "It was nothing. Anything to oppose Jefferson and his stupid ideas. I mean, he actually tried to pull the veteran card, saying we earned this pay raise. I mean, I have a paid off Lamborghini in my garage, I got the pay raise I earned, I don't need another, and neither does he."

John cocked an eyebrow. "I thought he was your friend."

"He is," Alex nodded. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to punch him in the nose sometimes. He's sipping dumb slut juice when it comes to politics. I swear, who knew a man who went to Brown University could be so fucking dumb."

John began laughing. "I'm sorry, dumb slut juice?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't get a lot of things the millennials and generation Z kids are saying, but I love that. I need to stay off the meme sites because I've had to bite my tongue during court sometimes. Does your hand feel okay?"

John nodded, shrugging. "It doesn't feel bad. As good as a hand with a big gash in it could be. I'll live. I'm just glad tomorrow is Thursday and the day after that is Friday. Homestretch. I swear I don't know how I do it sometimes."

"Have you always worked this hard?" Alex asked.

John shook his head. "No. Man, I didn't work all through high school, went to college and for a while was connected to daddy's bank account, then he cut me off when Phillip was born. It was a real quick switch when I went from getting what I want without lifting a finger to working to get the bare minimum. Though I never was prioritized in my house, I had enough, you know?"

"What do you mean? What do you mean when you say you weren't prioritized?" Alex asked, turning John's fully bandaged hand over in his hand.

John just shrugged. "Were you an only child?"

Alex paused, thinking. "From ages nine and up, yeah. I had an older brother, but he was way older. His name was Jimmy. Well, it was James, but everyone called him Jimmy. We call every now and then, but we're not too close. He's only my half brother. Anyway, I was basically an only child."

John chuckled. "Then you will never know the neglect an older sibling gets. I had four younger siblings. The second oldest is eight years younger than me. By the time I was thirteen, they could barely remember to get me in family pictures. I think there's actually one where I'm not in it. Anyway, most of my siblings had issues that took up my dad's time, and then my mom was, my mom died when I was fourteen, so it was just my dad. He, he tried his best. He did okay with my siblings, he just didn't really understand me."

"My mom died too," Alex said softly. "When I was ten."

"What happened?" John questioned, tapping his fingers against the palm of Alex's hand.

"Oh, we uh, we lived in the Caribbean, on a little island that didn't have good medical care, and then we both got yellow fever. I got better, obviously, but she died right next to me." A shrug came from Alex. "It doesn't make me as sad as it should, but my mom and I were never really that close. She worked, I went to school. I was trying to get as ahead in my education as possible, so I would spend most nights locked in the library at school, taking online classes. When my mom died, I moved to America and moved in with my cousin, who moved around a lot since he was pretty involved with sketchy people. Anyway, my senior year, I met Eliza and we fell, uh, we fell in lust, got hitched, and I shipped myself off to the army. And now I'm here. Wow, I just realized you only asked how my mom died and I shared the outline of my life. Sorry." Alex laughed. "I tend to talk a lot when I get the chance. Why do you think your dad didn't understand you?"

"It's okay, don't worry about it," John smiled. "No, uh, I grew up in a very Catholic, borderline Mormon house, and I mean, I was the older child. I was close with my mom, I enjoyed dance, I was just, I wasn't like him. He was clean, into politics and organized, and I was messy, staying out too late and just, I dunno. We fought a lot after mom died, but, I think he was just sad. After Phillip was born though, it all went to hell. As I said, our family was very against sex before marriage, sinning, you know. I told my dad Phillip was born and he like, he just cut me off. I get a phone call from my oldest sibling, Martha, once in a blue moon. They love me, I know they do, and I know they miss me, they just, they're all still minors. If they came up to visit me, or I came down to visit them, I could be charged with kidnapping or something. My father is governor of South Carolina, and he would definitely win in a court case against me. So, that's not gonna happen any time soon."

"God," Alex mumbled, laughing. "Families just suck."

John nodded, groaning. "It's why I try to be so good for Phillip. I want him to know that whoever he wants to be in life, whoever he chooses to love, I'm going to be his father. I'm going to be there for him. I never want him to struggle like I am. I never want him to feel rejected, so that's why I really haven't thought about another kid. Probably why I haven't had sex with a woman since Phillip was born." John laughed. "But that's more than you need to know."

"I hope you remember asking me about my sex life after twenty-four hours of knowing me," Alex teased, smiling cheekily at John.

John just rolled his eyes, laughing. "You offered to let me live with you, but I wasn't about to make my son sleep through the soundtrack to any porno."

Alex snorted, looking down at John's hand, which he had been messing with for the whole conversation. "Man, it really has been a while."

"Same," John muttered. There was a quick silence that fell over them, then John sighed, standing up. "I'm gonna get some food, then join Phillip upstairs and watch a movie. You wanna come too? If you make popcorn, maybe we'll let you have a say in the movie we watch."

Alex smiled, standing up and walking to get some microwave popcorn out. "I have a lot of different platforms to watch movies on. Is there something you and Phillip haven't seen yet? I probably have it, or I'm paying three hundred dollars a month on TV for nothing."

"Ooh, I know Phillip wanted to see Big Hero Six," John mumbled, pulling out the food Alex ordered him from the fridge, just some Chinese food, and grabbing a fork. "Though Herc said that movie made him want to cry like a baby. Then again, that is Herc. Uh, I dunno, you got any suggestions?"

"Aux Yeux Du Monde," Alex started. "A French movie about a man who wants to prove his love to his girlfriend, so he kidnaps a bus full of children at gunpoint. It's really interesting, funny at times, and is great if you're looking for some relaxing, yet titillating."

"I'm sorry, titillating? Alex, what the hell is your vocabulary?" John chuckled, his mouth full of noodles. "Secondly, please remember that a five-year-old child is with us, and you're the only one fluent in French. How about Big Hero Six? Is has some Fall Out Boy songs in it, and I do like that band. They're pretty good."

"Alright, I'm gonna trust you on the soundtrack," Alex grinned, pulling out the finished popcorn and putting it in a bowl before walking upstairs with John. Phillip was still on the couch, coloring, and singing, but he looked up when John and Alex walked in.

"Hey, buddy, you wanna watch Big Hero Six? Alex made popcorn," John smiled, sitting down next to Phillip, letting the kid cuddle up against him.

"Yes, that one's my favorite because it has the nice colors," Phillip stated, taking a handful of popcorn from the bowl Alex set on the couch. Alex sat down on the other side of Phillip, leaning back and finding Big Hero Six on Amazon Prime and playing it. John ate his Chinese food as they watched the movie, one of his arms around his son. Phillip fell asleep about halfway through the movie, but John was too engrossed with the beautiful animation to fall asleep, and Alex just wasn't tired, so the two of them stayed up and continued watching, though Phillip was snoring peacefully.

Alex whipped his head over when he heard John sniffle. "Are you crying?"

"No," John mumbled, his voice cracking as a couple of tears dripped down his cheeks. "It's just so sad! He has to say goodbye and Baymax just wants to save Hiro, but he's the last thing Hiro has of his brother."

"Oh no," Alex laughed. "Don't cry, John." Alex got up and sat on the other side of John, wrapping his arm around John's shoulders. "It's just a movie. It's okay."

"But it's such a good movie!" John said, crying more. "It's just so beautiful. Why did they have to kill the brother? And now Baymax!"

"Oh, it's okay, John, don't worry," Alex laughed, hugging John a bit.

"Wait, Hiro's rebuilding him," John pointed out, looking at the movie. "Okay, I'm okay again. Fuck, what time is it?"

"It's nine thirty," Alex answered, looking at his phone.

"Shit," John muttered, standing up. "I got work in the morning." He wiped his cheeks a bit. "Okay, time to get to bed." John leaned down and picked up Phillip. "Thank you, Alex. I'm gonna get to sleep, but tonight has been nice."

Alex nodded, standing up to go into the kitchen. Alex took his medication then made his way upstairs, smiling a bit as he watched John kiss Phillip's forehead. God, Thomas really was right. Alex was whipped. Alex had a full on crush on his roommate, and he had absolutely no idea what to do about it. Alex wasn't exactly the best as courting people. His marriage came out of desperation and lies, and the one girl he sort of saw after Eliza left him after three weeks because Alex was 'a workaholic with no consideration for anyone around him.' Alex left that relationship with a sort of good riddance attitude, since she was also a little crazy. Alex seemed to attract the crazy woman. He still had a scar on his arm from when Eliza threw a broken bottle at him during an argument. Granted, he wasn't the best husband, but he never did anything like that. He did use a hammer to wreck her car after a fight, but in his defense, she did attack him with a frying pan, leaving a nasty bruise on his cheek.

"Goodnight, John," Alex called softly.

John smiled at Alex, leaning against the doorway of his room. "You too."

Alex went into his room, getting ready for bed, sighing as he laid down. His body ached slightly, but he ignored it, pulling his blanket over his body and closing his eyes. Alex let himself fall asleep, slipping back into a deep warzone. Hearing screams that weren't his, seeing his stained with blood uniform covering his body. Gunshots going off in his ears, sobs coming from someone. The sight of children's bodies littering the streets. The agonizing screams of mothers. The heat pressing against him as he carried a hundred and eighty pounds of a dead body through the desert.

Alex woke up in a cold sweat at three in the morning. He ran his hand through his long hair, doing the proper precautions to get out of bed, then standing up and turning on the light. It was still dark out, but that didn't stop Alex from gripping the pull-up bar above his doorway and pulling himself up. He wasn't the strongest he’d ever been, but he did have enough muscle to where, if he ever had to go back to ranger training, he could make it.

When Alex's arms finally gave out, he dropped to his floor and began doing sit-ups. Even as his stomach began to ache, he kept pushing himself, blocking out gunshots, screams of his name, the desperate junior ranger begging and begging for Alex not to leave him. The way the road looked when someone had hosed the blood off of it. Alex kept pushing himself, not wanting to think about anything that had to do with his life before the age of twenty-eight.

"Papa!" Phillip's voice cried out.

It took Alex a few seconds to realize that John wasn't here. He was at work. Phillip didn't know that.

"Papa!" Phillip cried out again, sounding scared.

Alex stood up, wiping sweat from his forehead and throwing on a tee shirt before walking down the hallway to Phillip's room. The kid was all alone, and Alex wasn't about to let him sit alone in his room and be scared. Alex never liked sitting in his room, alone and scared, why would he let someone else do so?

"Hey, kid," Alex greeted, popping in the doorway. "Your papa is at work. Are you okay?"

"I had a nightmare," Phillip said, sniffling.

"Aw, hey buddy," Alex mumbled, turning on the light and sitting down the edge of Phillip's bed. "What happened?"

"A big puppet was trying to sew buttons into my eyes and he was scary and he wanted to eat me!" Phillip cried out, leaning forward and hugging Alex while crying.

Alex, who had not signed up for this, awkwardly patted Phillip's shoulders. "There, there. It was only a dream. It's okay. Don't cry, it's okay. No monster is gonna come eat you, or sew buttons into your eyes, I promise. Just let em try, I'll protect you, and so will your papa. It's okay, buddy. It's okay."

Phillip sniffled, balling up his fists and wiping his eyes. "Can you read to me? My papa always reads to me when I have a nightmare."

"Uh, sure," Alex laughed awkwardly. What book?"

Phillip got up and grabbed a book from the chest, bringing it back. It was called Pete The Cat, and Alex almost scoffed, then remembered that Phillip was five years old. Phillip climbed back into bed, pulling the covers up to his chin, and Alex began reading. Deciding to not be a total asshole, Alex went along with the books, did voices. Made a damn Daniel reference since the book was about a cat with white shoes; that left Phillip confused, but laughing. By the time Alex was done, Phillip was almost asleep, so Alex got up and turned the light out.

"Goodnight, Phillip," Alex said quietly. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Night night Alex," Phillip mumbled, closing his eyes. Alex sighed, closing the door. Since there was no way he was going back to sleep, he made his way downstairs, turning on the coffee maker and pouring himself some cereal. He texted John, telling him that Phillip had a nightmare but was back asleep after a quick presentation of Pete the Cat. John texted back a thank you and a promise of repaying the favor, though Alex just shrugged it off, not needing John to give him anything.

Alex went out and sat down in his backyard, his little radio playing in the background. It was still dark out, but Alex just closed his eyes and listened to The Fugees playing on the radio while he cradled his cup of coffee like it was a baby. The night air was cool, and he almost wanted to go for a walk, but he didn't want to leave Phillip alone in the house, so he stayed in his backyard, sipping the bitter black drink. Around six, he went back inside, climbing the steps and slipping on his work clothes, a pair of grey tailored slacks, a white dress shirt, a black tie, and a pair of black leather shoes. He always rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, since when it was rolled all the way down, it felt too confining to him.

"Hey," John mumbled, walking through the door at seven-thirty, his hair down and his eyes tired. He made b-line straight for the coffee machine, pouring himself a mug and downing most of it in one gulp, surprising Alex.

"Good morning," Alex said as John poured himself another mug. "Are you okay?"

John nodded, sipping his coffee. "Just a bit tired. Did Phillip wake up again?"

Alex shook his head, sighing and leaning against the counter. "No, no he went back to sleep. His nightmare was about a monster trying to sew buttons into his eyes and eating him. Is that like, a genuine fear he has?"

John groaned. "Yeah, believe it or not. I used to date this guy and he was watching Phillip and he showed the poor kid Coraline, which is kinda scary when you're three. Phillip gets this nightmare every now and then. No, the guy was an asshole, had no idea how to manage kids. Glad shit didn't work out with him."

Alex shrugged. "I get that. Hey, you gonna make it through today?"

John nodded, smiling. "Yeah, I'll be fine. You look pretty tired, will you be okay?"

Alex laughed. "Oh yeah, I'll be okay. I could go days without sleep and be fine, so don't worry about me. You stay safe, alright?"

John nodded. "Alright."


	5. Bold of Alex to assume that John has the money for an actual therapist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't actually have very curly hair like most black people do, so know I'm trying my best I guess but if y'all wanna correct me, please do so

"God damn Maria," John muttered, lying on the floor after his last class. "I am getting my ass kicked. What the actual hell? I swear, I'm gonna have to quit my other hustles if I want to stay in shape for dance. I'm actually about to die right now."

"I feel that," Maria replied, lying next to him. "I got new dance shoes, and my feet are dying. I swear, I'm not gonna be sad about the day we have off, after the recital in a few weeks. What are you gonna do with your day off?"

"Well, I'm gonna drop Phillip off at his daycare," Johns started. "I'm gonna, gonna jerk off just, for like, two hours. Then I'm gonna go clothing shopping for myself, which is something I can afford to do, and then I'm gonna pick Phillip up, and we're gonna get pizza and ice cream, go to the park, and then come home and watch a movie or some cartoons or something. What about you? Any big plans?"

"None," Maria laughed. "Absolutely nothing! It's gonna be great. Oh man, I'm gonna call over one of my fuck buddies, ride their face for a solid six hours, get stoned as fuck, watch porn, eat a whole pizza, saute a bunch of mushrooms and eat them too. Man, John, it's gonna be great. How's operation sugar daddy coming?"

"Operation sugar daddy has never existed," John replied. "No, Alex is a good roommate though. I cut my hand open on my locker and he bandaged it up while we talked about our family issues and our sex lives, so that's something. Neither of us has gotten jack squat in far too long. Man, Maria, I really just need a fucking twink to like, sit on my face or something. Maybe I can like, sign up for Grinder or whatever. What am I saying? I don't even have time to have sex right now."

"You wanna fuck me, John?" Maria asked.

"I'm a ride too wild for you, honey," John chuckled.

"You know what? I believe that," she nodded.

"Also, I've been crazy paranoid about fucking women since Phillip came into the picture," John chuckled. "I need to find me a good postmenopausal lady. Get me some wrinkly pussy."

"Gross!" Maria gagged, hitting John's shoulder. "That's like, the grossest shit I've ever heard because I can only imagine you going down on like, Betty Ross or some shit like that. I mean, if you're into old ladies, go ahead, but I ain't about to listen to you telling me about that shit. Nasty ass."

"Alex is like, thirty-four and you want me to fuck him more than I want me to fuck him," John pointed out, looking over at Maria.

"Look, nine years is one thing, but forty-nine years is something way different." Maria let out a sigh. "Why not, anyway? Like, what's wrong with Alex?"

"I'm not about to be some fucking fanfiction 'oh my god, they were roommates' trope," John snorted. "I mean, it's cliche and overused. Just because we live together, doesn't mean we're gonna fuck."

"Okay, let's pretend for a second that you're living on your own and so is he, but you guys still talk. Are you interested then?" Maria interrogates.

John just rolled his eyes. "I don't really know, Maria. I don't exactly have much time for self-reflection. Look, he's nice. He's nice to Phillip. Like, last night, Phillip had a nightmare and he read to Phillip. Alex is a good guy, he's not a total piece of shit like other guys I've known, but that doesn't mean we're going to get together."

"What if he's into you?" Maria questioned.

"Ha, I highly doubt that. Dude's never talked about any boyfriends, he was married to a woman, cheated on her with her sister." John sighed. "If things were different, then yeah, sure, I'd go to funky town with Alex, but here's how things are; I work from two in the morning to seven at night, six days a week. I have a kid, I'm way younger than him, and I really just don't pay a lot of attention to the people I date. Alex is like, an actual adult who did something with his life, and I haven't ever heard of him with another guy. It's hopeless on eight different levels."

Maria groaned. "Listen, I didn't get a married man to give me the best head of my life by giving up. I put on my best lingerie, snuck into his office, and told him that he was on some bullshit, and better get a grip because I was here to help him. Then, suddenly, bam, he shows up at my apartment every Thursday night, and we're fucking, and it's great. What I'm trying to tell you is that if you really think things could work out with this guy, then don't fucking give up. Convert him. I'm serious, your ass could do it. Don't be a pussy, Johnathan."

John just laughed, smacking Maria's shoulder. "Whatever. I gotta go change, which means you need to get out of my classroom. I gotta lock up. You, you go get some dick."

"I got job number two to get to, so maybe later," Maria snickered, standing up with John and stretching. "Don't overwork yourself, love. And eat something." Maria gently smacked John's ass. "You need it. You cannot survive on just coffee and Chinese take out."

"I will, I will. I'll get a fucking bagel or some shit," John chuckled. "Ugh, I love cursing. I never truly appreciate it until I dropped the F-bomb at daycare and got chewed out by some middle-aged soccer mom. Fucking bitch. I was twenty-two. How was I supposed to know you can't say fuck in front of children?"

"I love hearing stories about you when you first started parenting because they are so entertaining. I mean, I can't believe you forgot your kid needed vaccinations," Maria teased as the two of them walked out of John's classroom and John began locking the door.

"Alright, listen, I was twenty and I had never seriously taken care of someone who wasn't me, so that's not my fault, and I did get him vaccinated eventually, so I wasn't a bad parent," John pointed out as they walked towards the dressing rooms.

"You've done way better than I could've, so you win," Maria chuckled, leaning against the door of the girls changing rooms. "Good luck, papa bear."

"You too," John chuckled, going into the changing room. He changed out of his clothes, massaged his feet for a second, then put on his blue skinny jeans and a red tee shirt. John left the building, waving a quick goodbye to Martha Curtis, and then stepped out onto the New York streets. It was hot out, and John's cotton tee shirt stuck to his back like it was glued there. The city was busy, so John found himself standing in line for about ten minutes, waiting for food. He finally arrived at the front of the line in a Chipotle, ordering a burrito. He paid and began walking to the fast food restaurant, eating his food and calling to make sure Phillip was being picked up by someone.

John always felt bad about the fact that he had to ask people to watch his kid so much, but John knew that at least he was watching William tonight, so that Lafayette and Herc could go out to a hotel or something. William was a wild kid, but John could set them up in the living room with a movie and some pizza. Alex was already in the loop, so he had made sure he didn't have anything bad out, not that there was really anything bad in the house. The guns were locked, there was no liquor, besides a few beers left over from the barbecue, and that was it.

"Hey, John," Dante called out as John walked through the kitchen to the back hall.

"Dante, my man, how you doing?" John asked, smiling at the fry cook.

"I'm doing well, you?" Dante replied, flipping a burger.

"Can't complain. Life's goin’ well," John smiled, walking into the back hall and heading to the locker room thing. He got there and sat down on a bench, pulling out his phone and seeing an affirming text from Hercules, as well as a selfie with the two kids, eating ice cream at a park. John grinned, saving the picture to his phone, then stood up, opening his locker and shuddering at the blood left from last night. That morning, after John's shift at the bar and before his dance class, Alex had rebandaged the wound. Phillip wanted to sign in, thinking it was like a cast, so in messy black writing, the name 'Pip' was scrawled out across the bandage. John slipped off his shirt, then jumped out the sound of the door opening. He knew who it was without even having to look over, so he just stared straight into his locker, working to get the shirt on. He slipped off his blue skinny jeans and was about to get his other pants on when he felt hands on his hips.

TW: Sexual Harassment

"Afternoon, John," Ben said quietly, his fingertips running along John's upper thigh.

John was quiet, not even breathing. He felt Ben's hands roam around his ass, then onto his stomach, then tracing his prominent v-line. John swallowed hard, not really knowing what to do. He wished he had asked Alex about self-defense, something, but he didn't, and now he was frozen, not moving. Ben stepped back, but John froze when he heard rustling. Ben's breath got quicker, more rustling being heard, and then he left out a deep breath, and left. John quickly got on his slim black pants, not even wanting to think about what just happened. He wanted to throw up, cry, something. All he could do was walk back into the kitchen, tying his hair up with shaking hands.

TW done

"Hey, John, are you good?" Nathan asked as John put an order on the counter and called out a number.

John nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just, I'm tired. It's been a long day."

"Does this have anything to do with Ben?" Nathan asked gently, touching John's arm.

John shook his head quickly, looking at his younger coworker. "No, no it doesn't. Why? Has he done anything to you?"

"See, this is why I think something is wrong. Because you always ask me that. You've asked me that question before, and you look really shaken up right now, John," Nathan continued. "Look, if he's doing something, you need to talk to HR. It's not okay for him to be doing anything to you. You look really uncomfortable right now, and he shouldn't be making you feel like that."

John shook his head. "It's fine, Nathan, I promise. Have you eaten?"

Nathan sighed, wishing John would say something. "Yeah, I have. My stoner friend bought me a fuck ton of food so I ate a huge lunch/dinner thing. What about you?"

"Burrito, from Chipotle, and then I'm watching William tonight, so I'll probably load up on the pizza rolls I asked sugar daddy to get," John joked.

"Oh, yeah, how's that going? Is Alex like, your boyfriend or whatever?" Nathan mumbled as a few customers walked in.

John shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, no. Alex is my friend, thank you very much. He's nice though. I like living with him. I dunno."

Nathan took someone's order, then looked back to John, smiling. "He sounds cute. Oh, I got a girlfriend I think. Sugar mommy low key. She's older, twenty nine-ish, and she's fuckin' loaded. We're just hooking up right now, but like, maybe I can smash and woo at the same time. You know, like Romeo and Juliet low key."

"Use condoms," John warned.

"Oh man, I think you're the reason I'm always so careful. Like, I used to think my pull out game was strong, then I met you and Phillip and I was like, shit, ain't strong enough to keep me feeling secure. So, like condoms, double checking, all that shit." Nathan laughed. "How is little Pip? He adjusting to rich life well?"

John nodded, chuckling. "Oh, man, he's not in the iPad as much anymore because he's watching cartoons on Alex's huge TV, or he's coloring, or he's playing in the backyard, or we're going on walks and looking at all the other big houses. It's real great to see him this happy. I wish I could accept it as much as he has, but god, I'm just, I don't even think this is real. I still shop extremely cheap, I’m incredibly careful about where I put my money. I dunno, I'm just being paranoid, I'm sure, but holy shit, this doesn't feel real."

"Maybe you feel like you don't deserve nice things," Nathan pointed out. "I mean, you've given everything to Phillip, so of course he's going to accept what is given to him, but you've gotten nothing, cut off from your family, working to keep your son clothed and fed. Maybe you just feel like you aren't good enough."

"Okay, shut up," John laughed, placing an order on the counter. He called out the number and looked back to Nathan. "No, yeah, I dunno. I don't have money for therapy, so lord knows what's going on in this head of mine. So, uh, how are you doing with your whole housing situation?"

"I'm actually doing really well," Nathan nodded. "I'm living in a studio apartment with four other dudes. We have two bunk beds and a straw mat, since one of our roommates is some weird hippie or whatever. With our combined salaries, we actually do pretty well. We all pitch in for TV and internet, and it's nice. It's really great to be able to get my school work done at home instead of a cafe or whatever. Then we all have orgy's sometimes, so that's great."

John just laughed. "Oh, man, we really should not be talking about this at work."

"You're probably right," Nathan agreed. "No, I uh, I actually got a way better job lined up for me. I start in a few weeks, so soon enough, this greasy fast food place will be in the past. What about you? You gonna quit?"

John just shrugged, nodding. "Yeah, probably. Then my bartending job. I wanna find a nicer side hustle now that I'm not paying rent. Maybe a bookshop or something. Where you gonna work, huh?"

"Well, school counselor, actually. I applied for the job since they were pretty desperate, and I have half a psychology degree, so I'm a viable option." Nathan chuckled. "Man, I can't wait to get out of here. You should too."

John nodded. "For real, kid. I'm burning out. I think I peaked at nineteen."

"That's not good," Nathan laughed as a few customers walked in. John took their orders, then sent it back to the cooks. Hours went by, Nathan leaving at five, and finally, around seven, John was groaning, waving to Dante, who worked obscenely long hours, and walking into the back hallway to get changed. John sighed, stepping into the locker room. He stood in front of his locker, cracking his neck as he heard the door open and steps get closer. Before Ben could even touch John, he turned around.

TW: Sexual harassment

"Don't," John snapped. "Don't touch me. I don't want you to touch me. I don't want you to be in here right now. You're making me uncomfortable and I have every right to report you to HR, but I won't if you get out and leave me the fuck alone."

"Come on, John," Ben coaxed. "I know you like the attention." Ben reached out to touched John's chest.

"No," John growled, grabbing Ben's wrist. "Don't fucking touch me, Ben. Look, I could ignore the shit you said to me, but this is too far. All of this. I'm not fucking interested. So stop it. I'm done, and I don't want you doing stuff like that to me anymore."

Ben roughly pushed John against the lockers, taking the younger man off guard. John fought back, struggling against Ben's body, trying to move. It was almost a full out fight, but Ben had a good grip on John's wrist. John wasn't about to just freeze up though. He was trying to get out, but Ben was really strong. John definitely knew he couldn't put up a fight for much longer, so he was going to have to win. He cringed when Ben kicked him hard in the leg, knowing that was going to leave a bruise.

"What the fuck?" A voice yelled.

TW over

Suddenly, Ben was pulled off John and thrown to the floor. John pushed himself into the locker, breathing heavily as he watched Dante beat the shit out of Ben. John was almost hyperventilating, seeing a few other employees in the doorway from the side of his eye. Dante finally stopped, and it was obvious Ben was not about to get up soon. Dante's fist was bruised and bloody, but John was guessing that the blood was mostly from Ben. Dante looked over to John, who was still panicking, trying to think of something to say.

"Can you call anyone?" Dante asked softly. "Your roommate maybe?"

John swallowed hard, nodding.

Another employee walked in, a tall black man named Eric. He was kind as he approached John. "Hey, call him, I'll tell him to here. You get changed, and Dante?"

"I can take this mother fucker to his office for now," Dante said, picking up Ben's limp body from the floor and leaving. John, with shaking hands, pressed Alex's contact and handed the phone to Eric, then waited for everyone to leave so he could get dressed. John was quick to change back into his normal clothes, looking at the bruises forming on his wrist and leg where Ben kicked him. John finished getting dressed, then walked out. Customers had been cleared out and Eric was talking to Alex on the phone. John sat down in a booth, across from where Dante was, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down.

"Okay, Alex said he's gonna be here in a few minutes," Eric told John, gently handing back his phone. "Are you okay?"

John just shook his head, staring down at his folded hands on the table.

"Here, honey, let me see those wrists," Eric murmured.

John held out his wrists and Eric began to examine them, pressing on certain places, moving John's hands and fingers to make sure nothing got damaged. Eric was training to be a nurse, so he was good with medical stuff. He told John to ice his wrists, and he thanked Dante for getting some. John pressed the ice to his wrists and looked down, tears slipping down his cheeks. Eric patted John's shoulder for comfort.

"Hey, I'm here, is he okay?" Alex asked worriedly, bursting through the door despite the 'we're closed' sign. Eric got up and let Alex take a seat next to John. Alex wrapped his arm around John, letting the younger man cry into him. John leaned against Alex's shoulder, hiccuping as he kept the ice pressed firmly against his wrists.

"I think they're sprained," Eric explained quietly. "He's gonna need them wrapped. Can you do that? Are you any good at medical stuff?"

"I'm an army veteran, so yeah, I know a bit about first aid," Alex nodded, holding John close. "I can wrap up his wrists."

John's phone buzzed and the younger man jumped, seeing a text from Herc. "Fuck, okay, we gotta go pick up William and Phillip. Okay, let's go. I'm okay, let's go."

"John, you, you take tomorrow off," Dante stated. "Just, you need it."

"I'll be okay," John muttered. "Okay, we really gotta go, Alex. Herc has got a date for the night, and I promised I'd look after William, so we need to get going."

Alex nodded, getting up with John. "You got everything?"

John nodded. "Yeah." He looked to his coworkers. "Thank you, guys. I'll see you whenever I see you next. Okay, we gotta go."

He and Alex made their way to Alex’s car, John getting in and hurriedly typing Herc's address on the GPS. Alex began driving, careful not to protest when John pulled a Bryce Vine CD from the CD binder that had taken up residence in Alex's car. John leaned back, sighing heavily. Alex, eyes stayed locked on the road, looking over concerned. Nobody recovered from something like that very fast at all, and Alex knew that. Eric said Ben had attacked John, and that it had been rumored that Ben had been doing some inappropriate things to John. Alex was very worried.

"Hey," Alex said softly. "You wanna talk about it?"

John pressed two thin fingers to his temple. "No. I wanna get drunk and pass out."

"Well," Alex started. "As someone who used to do that to solve my problems, I can tell you that it doesn't work, and it really makes things a lot worse later. Look, how about we set the kids up with a movie, I bandage your wrists, and we talk about what happened? You can't hold this in, it's not healthy. I know I'm no, like, therapist, but I like to think I know a bit about going through, you know, stuff. We don't have to push it tonight if you don't want to, but I think you should take the day off tomorrow, or at least only go to your dance class, since I know dancing is something you really love. I just, you need to, I dunno, take a moment to deal with this, John."

John nodded. "Yeah, yeah. I have like, five hundred hours saved up, so I can take off. I'm still gonna go to the dance classes, but I really like those. I just, God, fuck. Fucking of course. This is the last thing I needed right now. God, this is, this is like, a whole other level of bullshit. He had always said those weird comments that weren't exactly reportable but still made me crazy uncomfortable, and then last night he touched me and it just, fuck. I didn't even know what to do. This is all such bullshit. Fuck this. Man, like, seriously, fuck this."

"Is that how you really cut your hand?" Alex asked, looking over.

John nodded. "I'm sorry for lying to you. I just, I didn't want to talk about it."

Alex shook his head. "No, don't be sorry. It's okay. Look, John, if you need time and you can't just, like, unpack it all at once, I'll be here. Lord knows I barely sleep anyway, so I'll usually be up. If you have like, a nightmare or something, you can always wake me up and I'll talk you through it. I don't want you to feel alone."

John sighed, looking forward. "I'll figure it out. It could've been a lot worse and I know it. I'm really lucky Dante was there, and I'm really lucky I could fight him off long enough for Dante to come. I just, it could've been so much worse. I'm just a little shaken up right now."

"I get that," Alex nodded. "I'll make you some tea when we get home, you can shower, take your time. I'll manage the kids."

Alex pulled into Herc's apartment building and the two of them got out. They made their way up the elevator and to Herc's apartment door. When Herc opened it, Laf waved from the living room, and Phillip ran into John's arms. John smiled widely, hugging his son. Even after his worst days, John was always happy when he was with Phillip. John squeezed Phillip tightly, holding the child close and breathing in the smell of apple detangler and Johnson and Johnson's shampoo.

"Hey, John, what happened to your wrists?" Herc asked, brow furrowing as John released Phillip.

John shrugged. "Just a work thing. I'll tell you about it later." John looked down at Phillip and William, who were happily talking. "Are you guys ready to have some fun? We're gonna get pizza and popcorn!"

"Yeah!" William said, jumping up and down excitedly.

John laughed, taking the night bag Herc was handing him. "Good. Okay, and I gotta use his little comb thing on his hair to defrizz it, gel it in the morning, cocoa butter on his knees and elbows, and melatonin at night. I got it. I'll keep him safe. He's not riding with a car seat, but neither is Phillip, so I'm sitting in the back with them to keep them safe. Alright?"

"Sounds good," Herc nodded. He leaned in, pulling John close to him. "We're gonna fuck tonight. It's gonna be great."

John smiled, giving a thumbs up. "You go, Herc. Get some. Be safe. Don't get pregnant."

Herc laughed and John stepped out the door, walking down the stairs with the kids, listening to them talk about their plans to stay up all night, though John knew they would be asleep by ten. They got into the car and Phillip and William sat in the back, John in the middle, ready to stick his arms out to protect them, while Alex drove. Alex put in a CD that Phillip and William requested, and the ride was filled with the two kids singing. John stared forward, his eyes hooded from exhaustion, watching Alex carefully weave his way through the streets of New York until they arrived back at the house. William and Phillip ran inside, John leading them upstairs and putting on Spider Man cartoons for them with the promise of pizza being done in a few minutes.

"God, I'm fucking beat," John muttered to Alex, who was doing bills at the counter. John was preheating the oven for the frozen cheese pizza, his back sore. His wrists hurt like hell and he could feel his skinny jeans rubbing against his swollen bruise on his leg. He really wanted to down a few painkillers, so he pulled some Aleve from the cabinet and took two, groaning as he sat down and rested his head in his arms.

"Let me get your wrists wrapped up," Alex said, standing and pulling out the first aid kit and sitting next to John. Alex opened it, pulling out some gauze and tape, since that's how he wrapped up sprained wrists in the army. John held out his hands, hair falling from his bun and over his face. Alex sighed, gently looking over the bruises, then gently wrapped them with gauze before taping them up. John could barely move his wrists, which was good, but John knew he was going to get some questions at dance class.

"I need to quit that job," John muttered, watching as Alex cut the tape on the final bit of bandaging.

Alex snorted, looking up. "I mean, yeah. That's probably the normal reaction to something like this, I think. I don't think quitting that job is going to be your worst nightmare."

John sighed, resting his forehead against Alex's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for like, freaking you out. I'm sure it wasn't exactly your ideal Thursday night to pick up your crying roommate, but I really appreciate it. Thank you."

Alex gently placed his arms around John. "Yeah, of course, John. I'm here for you. It's okay. You're okay. I'm happy to be here."

John took a deep breath. "It was fucking terrifying. I didn't know what he was going to do and he was really strong and I just, God, I don't know. Nothing like that has ever happened to me. I just, holy shit. I don't even know what to think of it. Like, what the hell? Holy shit, that was fucking, fucking awful."

Alex gently rubbed a circle on John's back, not wanting him to feel alone.

"I can't, I can't handle this right now," John muttered, sitting back. "Like, Alex, I don't have the time to process this. I don't have the time to handle this. I mean, I don't see a therapist, I can't afford to see a therapist, I'm always on the go. I don't exactly do a lot of self-reflection, and I certainly don't have long, heartfelt talks about my feelings on a daily basis. Oh, and I have a child I need to take care off. I can't tap out emotionally whenever I want. I have responsibilities, dude. Fuck, I mean, you think I can just, like, get over this?"

Alex sat, thinking for a second. "Have you ever had a Yoruba cleansing?"

John snorted. "The closest thing I've ever gotten to cleansing is a shroom trip during college where I watched my skin melt off my bone, so, no."

Alex bit his lip. "Look, I know, I know you're not really into the whole weird religious stuff, but I mean, this shit has really helped me, more than once. I mean, would your mind be open to something like that? It's only like, an hour, and you could do it after you finish teaching your dance classes tomorrow, and I'd pay."

"I don't want you to have to pay," John said slowly.

"Oh, no, please, let me," Alex convinced. "The woman who does these, she's one of my only connections to the Caribbean, and I love keeping her in business. Would you do something like that? I could pick up Phillip from daycare if you needed, and, and the lady, she's very nice."

John paused, thinking. "What if it doesn't work?"

"One piece of wisdom I've earned from being a PTSD riddled war vet for the past six years is that nothing really works, but lots of things help, and the things that help are really nice," Alex explained, taking John's hand in his. "Look, everyone is different, but it never hurts to try. I think you'll make it out of this okay, it's just, it's a little help."

John nodded, sighing. "Ugh, okay, I gotta put that pizza in, then I'm gonna get my pajamas on. Do you have any extra blankets for the kids? I'm just gonna set them up in the living room, yeah? Shit, then I gotta get William ready for bedtime. Okay, pizza, pajamas, blankets. I’ve got this."

"I have a bunch of extra blankets in my closet, I'll go get them," Alex nodded, standing up and walking upstairs. He passed the kids, laughing as they played games on the iPad while Spider-Man played in the background. He gave Phillip a quick ruffle of the hair, then went up to his room. He opened his closet, ignoring the large bag that held his uniform and the box of Jay's stuff. Instead, he pulled out some of the blue fluffy blankets he’d gotten as housewarming gifts and never used. Ever since Iraq, Alex could barely sleep with more than a sheet over his body. It helped when he had nightmares because he could get out of them easily. Alex also grabbed a few clean pillows for the kids.

"Alright, candy time!"Alex heard as he walked downstairs. John was in the living room, opening up a bottle of strawberry flavored melatonin, handing one to William and one to Phillip. John then pulled out a small container from William's bag and scooped up a fingerful of cocoa butter, rubbing it onto William's elbows and knees. Herc had a thing about him and his kid getting ashy. One thing Herc always splurged on was lotion since he hated dry skin more than anything.

"I got some blankets," Alex notified John, as John began to sort care for William’s hair. Since William was black as could be, he had very tightly coiled hair, which a brush had no chance of going through. Instead, like Herc, William had to use a pick, since it was the only way to defrizz his hair. John knew how to use one because Phillip's black mother often needed him to do it while she was pregnant. She had a big afro, and holy hell she looked killer with it, so John got really good at taking care of black hair because he did a lot for her during her pregnancy. She would always say 'I'm holding your kid, the least you can do is paint my nails.'

"Sweet, just set em down," John ordered as he continued combing William's hair. Alex set the blankets down and went downstairs to make some popcorn and check on the pizza. Alex put the bagged popcorn in the microwave, heating it up and just standing there, thinking about what happened to John, what would've happened if Alex had been there. Alex probably would've done twice as much damage as Dante did, and he had no shame admitting that. He didn't want anyone hurting John.

When the popcorn was done, Alex poured it into a bowl, walking back upstairs to see John braiding Phillip's hair back into one braid. Alex smiled, giving the kids some popcorn, then walking back upstairs to get some pajamas on. He slipped on some sweatpants, socks and a hoodie. Alex returned to the kitchen and went and took the pizza out of the oven, slicing it and putting it on a large tray to carry up to the kids.

"Alright, I'm gonna get my pajamas on. Alex has pizza, and I'll come back down and help you set up the couch," John announced. "Thank you, Alex, for bringing up the pizza. I'll be right back."

Alex nodded, smiling. "No problem, Johnny."

John rolled his eyes and then made his way upstairs, listening to the kids yell about loving pizza. He was quick to peel off his clothes and slip into some sweatpants and a tee shirt. He then texted his boss at the bar, telling him he wouldn't be able to make his shift, before walking downstairs to find Alex sitting on the floor with Phillip and William putting his hair up in a million little ponytails. Alex sort of just, took it, watching the Spider Man cartoons he’d never seen before.

"Hey, don't torture our roommate," John joked, picking up a slice of pizza and taking a bite. "Come on, I'll get the blankets down, and then you kids can settle in."

"You know," Alex started once the kids had left, feeling around the ponytails as he got up to help John. "I think I like this. What do you say I have your kid do my hair every morning for work? I think the look suits me."

John looked over at Alex, trying not to snort. "Oh, yeah, totally."

Alex grinned, helping set up blankets and then getting the kids situated. John had to run down and get plates really quick since Alex forget them, and then the two of them made sure the kids were comfortable with their TV and their pizza. John kissed the top of both their heads, smiling. William never had a god-parent until John, but Herc and John’s was such a fast friendship, meeting at a parenting class. Herc was anxious and nervous, in contrast to his wife, who talked to everyone in the class. John was alone because Phillip's mom hadn’t wanted to go, so he drifted towards the only other person who was alone, and they struck up a conversation. It was easy for them to talk. Herc was twenty-six at the time and was surprised to see the young, twenty-year-old kid nervously taking notes as if it were a college course. Herc and John were friends when their kids were born, William a few months before Phillip, and they were friends when Hercules' wife left him. In another life, they were brothers most likely.

"Alright, you boys know where the bathroom is, right?" John confirmed, smiling when the two younger kids nodded. "And Phillip, William, I am just upstairs, so don't be afraid to wake me up. I'm dropping you two off at daycare tomorrow, so don't stay up too late." John knew the melatonin would have them passed out in about ten minutes. "I love you both."

"Love you too, papa," Phillip replied.

"Love you too, uncle John," William smiled.

John nodded. "Alright, see you kids in the morning."

Both Alex and John walked upstairs tiredly, John ready to fall asleep almost, but still feeling a bit shaky. When they arrived at the top, John stopped and looked at Alex, not wanting to be alone yet. They stayed there, staring at each other for a second, then Alex gently pulled John into a hug. It was soft and firm, with Alex's chin resting on John's shoulder. The shorter man had to stand on his tiptoes, but he didn't mind. He wanted John to feel safer than he had in the past twenty-four hours.

"Wake me up if you need anything," Alex murmured as they let go of each other.

John nodded, smiling almost. "Thank you, Alex. I really don't know what I would've done without you. I just, thank you."

Alex sighed, gently leaning up and kissing John's cheek. "Remember, you can sleep in tomorrow, so sleep well."

A chuckle escaped John's mouth. "I don't think I've slept in on a weekday in four years. Man, I'm gonna sleep until seven, and then maybe I can stay in bed until seven thirty. This is gonna be exciting."

"Goodnight, John," Alex laughed, tossing his head back.

"’Night, Alex," John replied, making his way into his own room. John climbed carefully under the covers, pulling them over his head after making sure his alarm was set for seven instead of two. Then, John closed his eyes and fell asleep.

John had never slept harder. He didn't dream, he just slept. He stirred a bit around two, his body so used to waking up, but fell easily back into sleep. Another five hours went by, and then John's alarm went off. John opened his eyes, instantly wondering what this new feeling was. Usually, when he woke up, he felt groggy, sick almost, his body and mind alike turning to lead, but this morning he felt content, sort of hazily happy. He was still a little sleepy, but that feeling was cured with a smack of the snooze button.

Nine minutes went by, and his alarm went off again. Like a commercial, John arose, stretching. His hair was in a wispy nest around his head. It was a polar opposite to how he usually woke up, which was haggard and grumpy, with a demon-like craving for coffee. This morning though, he stood up, bending down to touch his toes, and then stretching his legs and arms. He sighed, looking at his hair in a mirror. It wasn't as curly as Phillip's but it was still difficult to manage, so John got to work braiding it back in two dutch braids. When John didn't want to deal with his hair, he braided it. His mother used to do it for him before she died.

"Well, would you take a look at that," Alex teased as John walked into the kitchen. "Someone looks happy and well rested. How'd you sleep?"

"Oh, man, so well that I'm seriously considering quitting that bar job," John chuckled, getting a mug of coffee. "Ugh, maybe I can get a nicer side hustle. I could work at a coffee shop in the afternoons. Dance classes usually end at around four, and I would work until eight. Ooh, and I could get Sundays off if I stop working at the fast food place, which is something I really want to do. Maybe I can just, like, quit."

"Fuck yeah, do it," Alex cheered. "I like your hair."

John ran his hand over the braids. "I didn't want to deal with it this morning, so it can stay in braids. That'll keep it out of my face when I'm teaching."

"Oh, I made you that appointment with the healer," Alex stated. "Her name is Lulu Blackmon, and she's a real firecracker. Wear light colored clothes, like, those light blue skinny jeans and a white tee shirt or something. Do you have a white hat?"

"No," John laughed.

"I have one, you can use it," Alex offered. "It's part of the ritual. She cleanses you, cleanses your clothes, and then you have to wear light colors all day, with a white hat on, and then that's how you live for the rest of the day and then you go to sleep."

"This sounds like some funky voodoo," John joked.

Alex shrugged. "I think it's like, a form of voodoo or based off of it, but I wouldn't put money on that, I’m not really sure. Uh, it's like, it's really good. I dunno, and even if you don't believe in it, it's relaxing. Are you feeling better?"

John shrugged. "I'm pretty grateful I'm not going back there today. What's a good story for my wrists? I don't exactly feel like telling my students what happened, and I know they're going to ask questions."

"Let's see, spraining both your wrists? I dunno, tell em I tried to teach you boxing and you were very bad at it," Alex grinned.

John snorted. "Yeah, sure. Okay, that'll work. Oof, what time is it?"

"7:20," Alex reported, reading the clock above the stove

"Okay, I'm gonna wake the kids up at seven thirty, and then get them dressed. Herc said Laf will be over to pick up William at eight, and then-"

Alex cut John off. "I drop Phillip off at daycare, and you off at work, and then, bam, morning routine complete." Alex held up his hand for a high five. "We're killing it."

John rolled his eyes, returning the high five. "Fuck yeah, we are. ‘Kay, I gotta get dressed. Alex, there's Eggo waffles in the freezer. If you could get out plates and syrup and stuff like that, then stick two in the toaster, it would be great."

"Got it," Alex nodded.

The morning went by quickly, Lafayette picking William up around eight and thoroughly thanking John for connecting him and Hercules. John just laughed, accepting two kisses on either cheek, then getting Phillip's bag and placing him in Alex's car. He put in a Chance the Rapper CD, waiting for Alex to come out with his briefcase and to-go mug of coffee. It only took a few more seconds for Alex to do so, looking a bit frazzled. He got in and began driving, sitting back and tapping the steering wheel to the beat of John's music.

"Do you need a new phone?" Alex asked, looking over at John as they got closer to Phillip's preschool, which he had started attending on Monday, when the summer had ended.

"No, mine works just fine," John nodded, looking at the chunky phone he had been tapping against his hand.

"Yeah but it's a Tracfone," Alex snorted.

John raised an eyebrow. "Just because I chose not to indulge in a capitalist addiction to create my self worth doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Lord knows Apple has more than enough money, and the only place it's going is in their own pockets."

"Well, didn't they earn that money?" Alex protested.

"Shouldn't they be paying taxes?" John shot back. "Look, you can maybe become a millionaire by doing something that is actually helpful, by existing peacefully, but billionaires? You can only become a billionaire by exploiting other people's work, pushing them into legal slavery. I mean, look at Jeff Bezos. The man has more money than he'll ever be able to spend in his lifetime. How did he do that? He found ways not to pay his employees, he found ways to avoid paying taxes. The man could end world hunger, fix Flint’s water, and still be fucking loaded, but does he? No. That's capitalist greed. Donald Trump is another great example of that. The man is fucking loaded, but where are his tax returns? Oh, yeah, he doesn't have any because he doesn't pay taxes! It isn't about earning money, because there are plenty of people who are millionaires who did earn their money. What I'm talking about is the greedy capitalist men who could literally save millions of lives, but don't because of their own greed."

Alex paused for a second. "You do not like capitalism, do you?"

"I say we eat the rich," John stated.

"Eat the rich!" Phillip sang from the backseat.

"Pride is not the word I'm looking for," John smiled, looking back at Phillip.

Alex laughed. "Wow, I don't think I've ever met anyone who's solution to capitalism was cannibalism, but you know, there's a first for everything. Were you at the women's march?"

John nodded. "I had Phillip in a stroller that was decked out in rainbow flags, and a sign that said 'death to Trump, death to KKK, death to fascist USA.' Herc made Phillip a nice winter hat that said 'I'm two and I'm smarter than our president.' Got a lot of compliments."

"I was in D.C when the women's march was going on since I was accompanying Washington down there to meet Mr. Trump. Gotta say it was a lot of fun shaking his hand and telling him that as an immigrant, I hoped he got impeached. The look on his face was fucking priceless," Alex laughed. "He smelled like too much cologne."

"You've met him?" John gasped, looking at Alex.

Alex nodded, frowning. "Unfortunately. I ended up talking shit about him with Lafayette for the rest of the night, then we both sat on the front steps and smoked while we watched protestors. You guys were fuckin’, unstoppable."

John nodded. "Fuck Trump. He's the reason I worry about my son's safety, even in a state like this. I mean, Christ. Anyway, where is this lady I'm seeing? I gotta know her address so I can get an Uber or something."

"Oh, no, I'll pick you up," Alex stated. "I wanna swing by her place and say hi, anyway. I’ve got a few things for her." Alex pulled into Phillip's daycare. "Have a good day, Phillip!"

"You too, Alex!" Phillip said, trying to fiddle with his car seat clips. John got out and pulled Phillip out of the car, getting the kid's backpack on. Phillip hugged John's legs, smiling happily. John almost groaned when he saw one of the daycare mom's approaching him, but put on a fake smile, waving to her.

"John, well isn't this a nice car," she chuckled, looking over the large, black, government-issued SUV. "Thank god some good luck finally came your way. What did happen? With your situation?"

The rich white daycare moms loved calling John's financial state a 'situation.' It pissed John off, but he always clenched his jaw and smiled through it. So, now, as Karen, a woman who could be mistaken for a Shih Tzu from the back, smiled at him glassily, John just swallowed hard and leaned against the car. "Well, I'm living with a government official now. Alexander Hamilton, you might know him? He's been kind enough to drop Phillip off at daycare and me at work. So, no lottery, just a friend. Thank you for your concern though." John knelt down, kissing Phillip's forehead. "Love you, buddy. See you tonight."

"Love you too, papa," Phillip smiled, running into the preschool.

John shot Karen one more sarcastic smile, then stepped back into the car. "I fucking hate the parents here, I swear to God."

"White soccer moms?" Alex guessed, beginning to drive again.

"White soccer moms," John confirmed. "Fuck, I can't wait to just go to work and dance and dance until all my problems disappear."

"You got this," Alex laughed.

John did have it. He spent the whole day being extremely productive, posting dances on Instagram using the company iPad, and fine-tuning a few dances for the upcoming recital. He helped a few kids with some moves, and he spent a solid hour with Maria, freestyling. He felt a lot better by the time he was walking into the locker room. Dancing was a huge outlet for him, a method for John. He felt better but was still curious about spiritual cleansing or whatever it was.

When John left the building, he already saw Alex's car parked out front. John got in, sighing gently and smiling at Alex. John's legs were sore, and he was definitely craving some coffee. Alex didn't start driving right away, just kinda looked over at John with a scheming smile on his face. John stared the man down. "What?"

"I got you a present," Alex replied, pulling out an unmarked white grocery back.

"Oh God, why'd you do that?" John groaned.

"Because I'm rich, and I can," Alex stated, holding out the bag a bit so John would accept it. "C'mon, lemme be nice."

John rolled his eyes but took the bag, opening it, looking inside, and handing it back. John had a thing about accepting gifts. The thing being that he hated it. He hated feeling like he owed someone something, which was why for Christmas and his birthday were holidays he never asked for any kind of present. Even before Phillip was born, he’d been like this. "Nope. I'm good."

"Come on, John, take it," Alex begged, pushing the bag that held the iPhone X back into the younger man's hands.

John snorted. "No, I'm fine. Give it to someone who needs it. I don't."

"Okay, well, just because you don't need it doesn't mean you don't want it," Alex bargained, trying to convince John to take the gift. "I wanted to do something for you, so let me. Just, accept something nice for once. You deserve it."

John snorted, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yeah, uh, okay. Here's the thing, Alex. I don't really care what I deserve. Anything that could mean a better way of life? It goes to Phillip, no second thought. Do you want to do something for me? Do something for Phillip. I don't need anything else."

Alex paused, staring at John, then sat back and began. "Okay, John Laurens, challenge accepted. What does Phillip like?"

"Why don't you ask him?" John humored, raising an eyebrow.

Alex smiled at John's playful banter. "Why don't I, just?"

The rest of the drive was filled with talk of each other's day until they arrived at the old apartment building. John and Alex got out, and John followed Alex into the building and up into the fourth floor. Alex looked happy, swinging the brown paper bag he pulled from the back of his car. John was curious as Alex knocked on a door, whistling a small tune. A few seconds later, an older black woman came to the door, dressed in a tribal pattern tunic with a black and white afro.

"Alexander, how wonderful it is to see you again!" She said, smiling and taking Alex in for a hug. Alex hugged her back easily since they were both the same height. John stood awkwardly in the background, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Lulu, this is my friend John, he's the one I told you about," Alex stated.

Lulu gently took John's hand, smiling kindly at him. "Welcome to my home, child. Come in, come in." She looked back to Alex. "You have what I asked you to provide, yes? I can't always afford what I need for my work."

Alex nodded, handing her the bag. "Money's in the bag, all cash, just how you like it." Alex looked at John. "I'll pick up Phillip, and then we'll see you later."

John smiled, letting Lulu pull him farther in. "Thanks, Alex."

Lulu lead John to a table and sat him down, then went to the counter and began to pull out the ingredients that Alex had brought for her. A bouquet of white flowers, chalk, white rum, cocoa powder, fresh tobacco, white candles, a white hat for John, and honey. Lulu looked over at John, who was just fiddling with the bandages on his wrists. "Have you ever gotten something like this before?"

John shook his head. "Never have had the chance."

Lulu went and sat down next to John with a pair of scissors, cutting the bandages off. John looked at the bruises, seeing how they've become an ugly shade of purple and black. Lulu tsked, then went and grabbed a bottle of vodka and some cloves. John was a little surprised to see her dump some vodka into a bowl, and then pour cloves in until it was a paste. He took his wrists and rubbed the clove vodka mix onto his wrists.

"Yes, yes," Lulu nodded. "Bad energy with these bruises. Like the bruises though, it will fade and disappear. Tell me, John, do you carry much sadness in your heart? I feel it, more than this energy. I feel you aching, mourning."

John swallowed hard. "I guess you could say that."

Lulu was gentle, rubbing John's wrists. "You have a lonely soul, but you are content with it, and this love. You have so much love in you, dear. So much love. Who is it for?"

"My son," John smiled softly. "His name is Phillip, he's five. I love him more than anything in this world."

Lulu smiled. "Such a wise soul. You will heal, John. You must ignore any tricksters that approach you. Men in long dark jackets with bright blue eyes, woman with lipstick that's too red and hair that is too blonde. You will see them out of the corner of your eye, and they may mouth your name, but you must keep walking. Busy yourself with something else."

John nodded, leaning forward a bit to listen to her talk, loving the way the older woman's voice sounded. He had never been a religious person, losing his faith when he was barely nine, but he was entranced with the way this woman spoke. She was so gentle with him, careful with his wrists, swiping a bit of the clove and vodka mix across his forehead. He listened to her intently, soaking up the information about himself that he hadn’t known, but somehow, she did.

Meanwhile, on the upper west side of Manhattan, Alex was pulling into Phillip's daycare, smiling as he got out of the car to go pick Phillip up. He practically skipped through the front playground area, through the door, and into the preschool. It was very clean, and Alex couldn't help but look around for a second before he spotted Phillip, playing with some Play-Doh. Alex smiled and walked over.

"Bonjour, mon fils," Alex smiled, crouching down next to where Phillip was sitting. "Comment ca va?"

"Ca va bien!" Phillip squealed, hugging Alex. "Salut Alex!"

Alex did not expect the hug, but accepted it gracefully, patting Phillip's back. "Hey, buddy, I'm picking you up, and then we're gonna go shopping for fun stuff, like toys and books and whatever you want."

Phillip's eyes widened. "Like a race car bed?"

Alex smiled, nodding. "The coolest race car bed there is! If you're gonna be living with me, then I want your room to be your own. I'll sign you out, and you go get your stuff, buddy."

"Okay!" Phillip said, getting up and going over to his cubby.

Alex stood up and went to the front counter, smalling at the woman. "Salut, j'mapple Alexander Hamilton, je suis ici pour aller chercher Phillip."

The woman smiled tightly. "Sir, you can speak English, here."

Alex laughed, pulling out his wallet to show his ID since John told him that they would probably ask for an ID. John had called in early that day to say that Alexander Hamilton would be picking up Phillip, so there was no suspicion of kidnapping. Alex was happy to pick Phillip up. The kid was fun. "Sorry, French is my second language, I find myself slipping into it sometimes."

"French and English?" The lady at the front desk asked, looking at Alex's ID.

"Ha, English is my third language," Alex snorted. "Spanish is my first." Alex took back his extended ID, then signed the clipboard. "Thank you!"

"Of course," The lady smiled. Alex went back over to greet Phillip, who had his backpack on and was smiling happily. Phillip took Alex's hand, which did surprise Alex. He had never really spent long amounts of time with kids, so he was learning as he went with Phillip. He wasn't exactly terrible, but he could use some practice.

"Where are we gonna go?" Phillip asked as they got closer to the car.

"Well, I know where to get a race car bed, and then we're gonna get you some cool toys and books, and whatever you want, then we're gonna pick up your papa," Alex stated, opening the back door. Phillip got into his car seat and waited expectantly, staring at Alex. Alex stared back for a second, not knowing what Phillip needed, then realized he needed to buckle Phillip in. "Oh, yeah, sorry kid." Alex leaned in and buckled Phillip up, struggling a bit with the clips, but figuring it out. "There we go. I knew what I was doing."

"My papa says when it comes to kids, you couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel," Phillip stated, looking out the window.

Alex rested his chin on his hand, smiling amusedly at Phillip. "Oh? He said that?"

Phillip nodded, laughing. "Yeah he did."

Alex chuckled, standing back up from the awkward position of buckling Phillip in. "Well, looks like I'll have to prove him wrong today, won't I?" Alex went around and got into the driver's seat, then pulled out the CD binder, flipping through it and looking back. "What do you want to listen to, buddy?"

"Kendrick!" Phillip requested. "I wanna listen to Kendrick!"

Alex flipped through the CD binder until he found the album John played the first time they met. Alex put it in, skipping the first song like John did, and began driving while Phillip danced to the music. Alex's first stop was a furniture store. Deciding he didn't want to park all the way in the back, he reached over and pulled out the handicapped thing he got because of his leg. He rarely used it, not wanting to make a big deal out of his handicap, but when parking lots were full and he didn't want to park in the back, he would use it to his advantage.

"Okay, buddy," said Alex, unclipping Phillip from the car seat, "let's go get you that race car bed. You can pick out whatever you want."

"Yes!" Phillip cheered. They walked into the furniture store, Alex holding Phillip's hand as they crossed the street. Phillip was excited, running around and jumping on all the big adult beds, falling onto bean bags, having a general good time. Alex took his phone out and took some pictures of Phillip jumping up and down on the beds before finally, an employee came over and asked him not to do that. Alex chuckled, picking up Phillip from off the bed, and looked to the employee. They couldn't have been more than twenty-five, but they looked nice enough to approach for some assistance.

"This little guy needs a race car bed, and I haven't bought furniture in a store in sixteen years, you think you could help us out?" Alex asked.

The employee smiled. "Sure thing. I'm Jane. The kid's section is just over here, let me show you to it." She lead them into the kid's section, and then the boy's section. "Here's a selection of race car beds. All of them have trundles and-"

Alex cut her off by choking on his own spit. "I'm sorry, they all have what?"

She gave him an odd look. "Trundles. You know, the drawers under the bed? For storage? It really helps when you have younger kids."

"Oh, yeah, trundles," Alex sighed, gasping for air a bit. "I'm sorry, English isn't my first or even second language, and I've never heard the word trundle, and it just, it sounded like something else, and I feel like I don't have to explain anymore."

Jane just laughed. "I understand. My grandmother's first language is Russian and sometimes she won't hear things right." Jane looked to Phillip. "All of the race cars come in different colors, buddy. You can pick out a car, and then decide if you want it to come in red, blue, orange, green, or yellow."

Alex set Phillip down. "Go pick one out, buddy." Alex stood up and looked over the beds. "Wow, is that a lamborghini? Ooh, it's yellow, like mine."

Jane raised her eyebrows. "You have a Lamborghini?"

Alex shrugged. "Yeah. Haven't driven it in a while, just been busy with work and all, but I'll find the time." Alex walked over to the bed that Phillip was pretending to drive. "You like that one, buddy?"

"Yes," Phillip nodded.

"I believe this is the one, then!" Alex announced.

Jane laughed. "Alight, you're going to have to put it together at home, or you can pay someone to come to your house and do it for you."

Alex shook his head. "I'm pretty handy when it comes to tools and building basic stuff. Last time I got furniture, I got it from Ikea online, and it only took me three hours to get the majority of it done."

Jane laughed, pulling a scanner thing from her side and scanning the tag on the side of the bed. "Alright, let's go to the front counter and pay, and then you will be the proud owner of a race car bed." Jane looked at a skipping Phillip. "Are you excited, little guy?"

Phillip nodded. "Yeah! I've never had a cool bed before."

"He and his dad just moved in with me, and I'm trying to get them some nice things," Alex explained. "Thought I'd take this little guy out and treat him. We still have a toy store and a big kids bookshop to go to before we're done."

Jane smiled. "Aw, that's really sweet." She stepped behind the counter and entered a few things into her computer. "Alright, your total today will be five hundred and fifty-seven dollars, do you need help carrying the box out to your car?"

Alex was about to say no, but then remembered that he had all types of body issues, so he nodded. "Yeah, that would be great."

"Alrighty," Jane smiled. She looked over to a guy who was sitting behind the counter, his eyes focused on the computer. "Ay, yo, Austin, come help carry a box out."

"Yeah, sure thing," Austin said, standing up and finishing whatever he was doing on the computer.

Jane looked back at Alex and Phillip. "We’ve gotta get it out of the back, but we'll be right back out, yeah?"

Alex nodded. "Sounds groovy.”

Jane laughed and went into the back with a piece of paper. Alex looked down at Phillip who was dramatically leaning against the counter, looking very bored. Alex smiled at him, then knelt down a bit. Phillip smiled at Alex, happy for the new opportunity for entertainment.

"How was your day, buddy?" Alex asked.

"It was super cool," Phillip stated. "I learned how to say milk and bread and apple in French. Then we got to count, and then we made art, and then we had story time, and Mrs. Adrienne played guitar for us."

"That's awesome!" Alex said enthusiastically. "How do you say milk, bread, and apple in French? I seemed to have forgotten."

"Milk is lait, bread is pain, and apple is pomme," Phillip stated victoriously.

Alex smiled widely. "There you go! Can you count to nine in French?"

"Yes," Phillip replied. "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six..." The kid trailed off, now knowing what the final three letters are.

Alex chimed in instantly to help, not wanting this kid to struggle. French was a beautiful language, and throughout his life, his fluency in it has helped him immensely. A lot of countries spoke French if they didn't speak English, so Alex was never truly lost in another language. Spanish helped him in South America, and French helped him through Europe. "Sept, huit, neuf."

"Sept, huit, neuf," Phillip repeated, smiling proudly.

"Here, I'll make it easier to remember." Alex thought back to the little tune his mother taught him when she began teaching him French. It started low, but went higher as the numbers went higher, then Alex would repeat it. After that, his mother would sing the numbers again, but this time the notes would get lower. "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf."

Phillip repeated the numbers. "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf."

"Good," Alex confirmed, smiling. He then began to sing the part where the notes went low. "Un, deux, trois, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf, dix."

Phillip smiled. "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six." Before continuing the singing, Phillip decided to change up the tune a bit. "Sept, huit, neuf."

"Sept, huit, neuf," Alex corrected, singing the correct tune.

"Sept, huit, neuf," Phillip sang, in his own tune.

Alex sighed, smiling, and then ruffled Phillip's hair. "Whatever works for you, kid. I started learning French at your age, and it's helped me through my whole life. It's a wonderful language to learn, and maybe you can learn Spanish one day because that opens up a lot of things you to do. You can go to South America, and it'll be like you're right at home."

"Okay, and we're back!" Jane announced, Austin carrying a big box.

"Sweet," Alex said, scooping up Phillip and standing up. He lead Austin out to the big black SUV, opening the back so Austin can put the box in. Alex thanked him, shoving a twenty dollar bill into his hand, then got Phillip buckled in. Alex got in and began driving to a big toy store a bit outside of Time Square called Schwarz or something. "Hey, buddy, we're gonna go to a toy store, and I want you to pick out whatever you want, okay? Go wild."

"Really?" Phillip asked.

Alex nodded. "Of course. My treat."

"Thank you!" Phillip squealed happily. "Are you my papa's new boyfriend?"

Alex coughed. "Hm?"

"William said that you only live with people when you're boyfriends, and whenever my dad lived with someone else, they were his boyfriend," Phillip babbled.

"No, no, your papa and I aren't boyfriends," Alex answered honestly, though he wouldn't’ve minded being able to give Phillip a different answer. "Have you liked your papa's other boyfriends?"

Phillip shrugged, looking out the window. "No."

Alex snorted. "I appreciate your honesty." Alex pulled into the toy store. "Come on, kid, let's go get you more toys that you need to go with your new bed."

"Yay!" Phillip cheered.

The two of them went into the toy store and man, Phillip wanted a lot of toys. Alex was offered a crate to carry them in since the employees couldn't watch the poor man struggle with the merchandise in his arms any longer. Phillip got Barbies, Transformer figurines, a big train set, some stuffed animals, glow in the dark stars, and more. Alex grabbed two more containers of glow in the dark stars, one for him, and one for John, who Phillip said liked them. When they got to the front of the line to check out, the man at the counter gasped, surprised by the number of toys Alex was buying for Phillip. Alex didn't seem to mind though, swiping his card and taking the eight bags back to the car with Phillip by his side.

"Are you magic?" Phillip asked as Alex buckled him up.

Alex paused for a moment, then nodded. "Yep, I am."

"Cool!" Phillip gasped. "Where are we going now?"

"Well," Alex started, leaning against the back seat a little bit. "We're gonna go get you some books in French, and then some books in English. Does that sound fun?"

Phillip nodded. "Yeah! Can we get coloring books? And the rhyming ones?"

It took Alex a second to figure out what Phillip meant by rhyming ones, but then he realized the kid was talking about children’s poetry. "Whatever you want, Phillip."

Alex and Phillip made their way to the first book shop, which was a French children's bookshop. They picked out a few books that would help with Phillip's level of French and reading level in general, then they went to Barnes and Noble's to pick out more. Alex gave Phillip a little buggy to carry around, and since the politics section was right next to the kid's area, Alex browsed around for a few books while checking up on Phillip every couple of minutes. Alex got a few books about fascism, the fall of the American democracy, people of color in politics and the discrimination they face, and one about foreign affairs. Phillip, meanwhile, had filled his little buggy to the brim with books. Alex was surprised, yet utterly joyous that this kid was so interested in reading.

"My papa reads to me almost every night," Phillip told Alex proudly.

"Well, now you have quite a lot of books to read," Alex laughed as the two of them got into line. Phillip was practically jumping with excitement, and Alex was thinking about what kind of reaction he was going to get out of John. Alex wasn't exactly expecting a large kiss on the lips, but maybe a hug, though he wouldn't object to a kiss. When Alex got to the front, he realized Phillip was staring at some candy, which honestly sounded good, so he asked Phillip to pick up what he wanted, then put it on the counter.

"Is it someone's birthday?" The checker asked, looking at Phillip.

"Nope," Phillip smiled, his eyes on the candy.

Alex chuckled, looking at the checker. "His dad is at an appointment, and they just moved in with me, and I just wanted to give the kid some nice things. He's a very smart and creative kid, I wanna encourage that."

"Well isn't that sweet," the checker lady commented. "Haven't I seen you on TV?"

Alex nodded, smiling one of his politician smiles. "I'm Alexander Hamilton, leader of the budget division for New York state."

"Well, you and your stepson are just adorable," the checker laughed, bagging up the first half of Phillip's books.

"Oh, uh, he's uh." Alex decided against the whole explaination. "Thank you."

The lady finishes scanning all the books, chuckling at the contrast between Phillip's Shel Silverstein book and Alex's book called Fascism: A Warning. Alex carried the heavy bags to the car, which was parked in a handicapped spot since Alex didn't feel like parking in the back. He didn't always use his handicap to his advantage. Most of the time, he was standing on subways, parking wherever, not trying to get anything extra from it, but sometimes he was just tired.

"Time to go pick up your papa!" Alex announced, smiling as Phillip ate his caramel chocolate bar. Alex had a raspberry one and bought a peppermint one for John.

"Yay!" Phillip cheered. "Put in Eminem! The red one!"

"Jesus," Alex thought as he looked for 'the red one' in the CD binder. "Eminem too? John must have a serious thing for hip hop. How in the hell is Phillip not saying fuck every other word? I mean, shit."

Alex put in the CD and began driving back to Lulu's apartment building. The drive was filled with Eminem rapping, Phillip sort of rapping along with it, and Alex just tapping the steering wheel. When they got there, John was sitting on the stoop of the apartment building, looking down at his phone. Alex pulled up, giving the horn a small honk to get John's attention. John looked up and smiled, then got into the car.

"How was that?" Alex asked, turning down the radio.

"It was, it was really good," John answered. "I definitely thought the next time I was gonna be naked in front of a woman was gonna be different, but you know, it was nice. Sorry if I smell like alcohol, she seemed to put it everywhere but my mouth. Never thought I'd take a bath in watered-down rum, but you know, there's a first time for everything. She gave me a crystal, told me to soak it in salt water for an hour every Sunday, said it would help with bad energy." John held up the white crystal that now hung around his neck. "I feel a lot better."

"She works miracles," Alex shrugged as he began driving. "Gotta say, PTSD used to be a lot worse before I started making bi-monthly appointments with her. Hey, when we get home, you think you can carry something upstairs to the third floor. I would, but I'm dead after today."

"Yeah, sure, what?" John asked.

"Just a box," Alex smiled, making eye contact with a giggling Phillip in the back seat through the rear view mirror. Alex grabbed the peppermint chocolate bar from the center console, handing it to John. "Also, I got you candy, because I got me candy, and I got Phillip candy, so it only seemed fair. Phillip said you liked peppermint."

John took the candy bar hesitantly. "Uh, thank you. I do."

Alex smiled and leaned back in his seat. "Cool. I didn't know Phillip was such a fan of caramel and chocolate, and I gotta say, I'm more of a raspberry man myself, but the diversity is nice. And now that I have roommates, I can’t sit on my couch and cry about Obama while eating these Godiva chocolate bars by the dozen."

John snorted. "Oh man, I relate to that on a whole other level." Then, John noticed the blue square with the white wheelchair on it hanging from it. "Where did this come from?"

"Oh, yeah," Alex laughed. "It was basically forced onto me by my Major after I left the war. My knee is really damaged by infection and just, war itself. It's why I have to walk with a cane sometimes. I can't walk well sometimes, and it's not like I use this thing often, just, sometimes I know I'm not gonna be able to make that long a walk."

"Oh, I get that," John nodded.

Alex just shrugged. "Bodies are weird."

John nodded in agreement. "Fuckin’ weird."

The three of them got home, and Alex had John bring up the box, which - thank God - was unmarked, and then Alex banished the two of them to the living room. Alex got his tools from the garage, his old green toolbox holding everything he could ever need. He went back upstairs and built the bed himself, assembling it with only a couple of curses every now and then. It didn't take long though, just about half an hour. When he finished. He put the mattress onto the bed, then brought the old bed stand into the attic. After that, Alex quickly brought in all the bags of toys and books up. He found a couple of books that were for him, quickly tossing them in his room, as well as one of the glow in the dark star containers, he put the other in John's room and left the last one in Phillip's room.

"Okay, it's ready," Alex said, coming downstairs.

Phillip smiled and ran upstairs, followed by a very confused John, who shot Alex a perplexed look. Alex only smiled cheekily as they climbed the stairs. When they got to the top, John looked into Phillip's room to see him jumping on the race car bed with a toy plane in his hands. Alex smiled, leaning against the doorway and watching the happy kid bounce and play.

"You, did you...?" John trailed off, still in awe at the thirty books Alex had stacked neatly, plus the toys. John couldn't believe his eyes. Never had he ever seen Phillip so excited, and Phillip was a very excitable kid. John's jaw was hanging open a bit.

"Okay, well, I didn't do anything you told me not to do. Actually, you told me to do this," Alex defended sheepishly. "You said if I wanted to do something for you, I should do something for Phillip, so I did do something for Phillip. And, I mean, I get if you don't want him to be spoiled, but I'm not going to be taking him on shopping sprees, I just thought that maybe he might enjoy something like this, get some new toys and books, and we also got him some books in French so his education is being encouraged and I just-"

John cut Alex off by pulling him into a tight hug. It wasn't just a casual hug, it was a parent hug. It was tight, warm, and one of the most loving things you can feel. Alex had gotten very few of those hugs in his life, but relished in it, hugging John back. John was close to tears almost, but he didn't want to cry in front of Alex, so he blinked really hard, trying not to freak Phillip out.

"Thank you," John mumbled as he pulled away, his eyes glossy. "Thank you so much, Alex. You just, I don't know what I would do without you. I mean, look at Phillip." John glanced at his son, who was playing with his new toys. "The kid is so happy, and that's your doing. I just, I haven't always been able to give my son everything he deserves, and, God, I don't know, thank you for this. Thank you for making him so happy."

"Phillip is an amazing kid," Alex stated. "And he wouldn't be that way without you. I can tell you really love your son, and by having a parent like you, he's gotten so much. This stuff, it's exactly that. Stuff. You've given him something a lot of parents can't. You've given him love and attention, and, and, devotion. Maybe Phillip doesn't know how lucky he is to get that from you yet, but he will."

John chuckled, shrugging. "Look, just, thank you." A sigh came from John as he looked back at Phillip. "What should we do for dinner? We need to go shopping again. I ran by the store on Saturday, but it seems we've already eaten everything."

Alex nodded. "I can order Mexican."

"Sounds really good. Two beef enchiladas for me, one chicken quesadilla for Phillip, and some nachos," John recited.

"Ooh, I'm gonna get us some sopaipillas," Alex stated. "They're really good, kinda a dessert thing. It's kind cooler out right now, do you wanna get something on pay-per-view and eat dinner in the living room?"

John nodded. "Yeah, sure, sounds good. What movie?"

"Paddington," Alex said quickly. "I uh, Peggy was talking about it today. Said she was hanging out with Sally and Beverly, and they watched that movie. Peggy said it was pretty good."

John nodded. "Sounds cool."

John and Phillip got into their pajamas, and so did Alex. The food arrived and they all sat down, Alex on one side of John, Phillip on the other. John ate quickly, not really finding time throughout the whole day to eat another meal. Alex was still quietly munching on his burrito when John stretched his arms up, letting one rest on the back of the couch behind Alex. Alex looked at John, his eyebrow raised but was only answered with a shrug and a bit of a smile from John. Alex rolled his eyes, but scooted a bit closer to John. The movie passed by too quickly, and both of their stomachs were filled with butterflies as they bid each other goodbye.


	6. We can dance if you want to (Alex wants to)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, y'all, I did mess up with what an afro pick is for in the last chapter, so I wanna own up to that shit. I edited it and tried to like, make it more accurate? But like, if I did it wrong still, just call me out. 
> 
> I did my best with wash day for Phillip's hair though. My friend has very similar hair to how I would imagine his looking, so I asked her what her wash day was like, and I took that straight from her, so I think I did pretty okay.

John sat in a hot bath, breathing in the smell of lavender bath salts and letting the warm water relax his muscles before the big dance recital he was about to go to. His most advanced classes, were performing at Hunter high school. John was currently in the middle of his pre-recital ritual. He had his white styrofoam box with his Mongolian beef and broccoli. John felt calm, knowing Phillip was watching a movie, Alex was doing whatever Alex did in his free time, and John could rest happily. He had three hours until he needed to be at the high school’s performing hall, and a whole hour until he needed to get out of the bath, so he ate his Chinese food and relaxed, listening to the music of a band called Grimes.

John had quit his job at the fast food restaurant. It was really easy to do, and he was looking for a nicer job to fill up his afternoons. He had his eye on a little book shop in downtown Manhattan. It looked nice and served coffee. For now, though, John was spending his afternoons lying on the grass and staring at the sky in central park, and taking Phillip out. He’d never had this much free time, and he didn't really know what to do with it. It was nice though, to just have time to think

"Yo, John," Alex called, knocking on the door.

John paused his music, swallowing the food that was in his mouth. "Yeah?"

"Can I invite the governor? And, I dunno, maybe we can all go out to get something to eat afterward" Alex requested, smiling from the other side a bit.

"As long as you guys give us free advertisement," John chuckled, running his fingers through the bubbles in his bath.

"Yeah, sure," Alex nodded from the other side, laughing. Alex walked back to his room, glancing at the clothes he’d laid out for himself, then flopping down onto his bed and pulling out his phone. He scrolled through contacts until he found the name 'Major Washington.' Even after Alex left the army, which was about a year after Washington left, he still couldn't help but see his major before anything else. Alex pressed the call button and raised the phone to his ear.

"Ranger," Washington greeted.

"Major," Alex replied. "You and the kids up to anything?"

"It just so happens that we are free," Washington replied. "You have anything in mind, ranger?"

Alex smiled, looking at his dog tags hanging on his lamp. "Yes. There's this cool dance school that's performing. John teaches, and from what I've seen, they're really good. Maybe you'd like to come and we can do a little canvassing. Then, after that, we can get some dinner with my roommate and his kid. Does that sound interesting?"

"Yeah, it does," Washington agreed. "What time is it at? And where?"

"It starts at six, so about three hours from now, and it's at Hunter college high school. Is that good?" Alex recalled, twisting the gold ring on his middle finger.

"Sounds good," Washington replied. "See you there."

"Bye," Alex sang. A long grumble escaped the veterans stomach and he climbed out of bed, making his way downstairs and to the kitchen, passing Phillip who was sitting on the couch and happily watching cartoons and coloring with a bowl of goldfish pretzels next to him. Alex ruffled the kid's hair, then walked down the last flight of stairs to the kitchen, looking through the fridge to find something to eat. Alex decided on the leftover pasta they’d had last night, grabbing a fork and eating it cold as he examined his kitchen. It had, well, changed since John had moved in.

The changes weren't bad, no, they were domestic. Plastic blue and green cups brought color to his cabinets, and so did plastic blue and green plates. A large box of juice boxes was on the floor, slowly getting devoured by the three of them. Alex wouldn't admit this, but when he arose far too early for any normal human to be awake, he'd often time sit outside, sipping a grape juice box, and read a book. The fridge itself had also been changed, not just its contents. Instead of the occasional sticky note reminder, it was now adorned by some of Phillip's art, which Alex thought was adorable.

Alex pulled a pack of cigarettes from his secret hiding place in the back of the cabinet over the fridge, and took one out. He put the pack back and walked to the back yard, sitting in a chair and lighting up the cigarette. It was sour and bitter, but comforting. Alex flicked ash off of it, taking in another drag and staring out over his backyard. A few outside toys he had gotten for Phillip littered the lawn. Alex sighed halfway through the cigarette, snuffing it out in the water-filled ashtray on the patio table.

Alex went back inside, climbing the stairs and making his way into his room. He slipped off his sweatpants and tee shirt, then put on his dress pants and white dress shirt. John said it didn't have to be too formal, so Alex wore what he wears to work. He rolled up the sleeves of his white dress shirt, put on a tie, and then stopped, staring at his lamp. His dog tags hung from it, and he knew exactly what they said. His name, Alexander Hamilton. His social security number, his blood type, O neg, and his religion. Alex had only recently discovered his whole spiritual ideas, so it didn't say anything like that on his dog tags. There wasn't even an option for something like that on his dog tags. Instead, he went with what his mother was. Jewish. Alex had never really looked into his heritage, but knew his mother was Jewish.

Alex grabbed the dog tags, slipping them around his neck and tucking them into his shirt so that no one could see. He hadn't put them on in a long time, but it felt good to have them on now. He hadn't really thought about putting them back on since he left, but it just felt like he could do it now. The dog tags, in many ways, had the same emotional value as the ring that Jay left him. They were all relics from his time spent there. Of the love he found with those people, of the fear and the pain and the heartbreak and the resistance.

"Hey," John said, leaning into Alex's doorway and startling Alex from his thoughts. "I gotta go an hour early, you think you can safely deliver yourself and Pip?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah, yeah, no problem, John. Do you need a ride?"

John shook his head. "I'll be okay. I'm just gonna take the subway there. I'm gonna get some food into Phillip, and then I'm gonna go. Make sure he gets all buckled into his car seat, and don't feed him any candy or sugar. He may beg and plead, but you have specific orders from me to say no, got that?"

"Copy that, general," Alex joked, saluting John.

"Good. Alright, I'll see you there," John smiled, leaving.

Alex sighed, flopping down on his bed and staring at the ceiling. Man, he was fucking whipped. John was great. Alex had to keep reminding himself that John was young, not interested most likely and doesn't really seem to want to date. Alex would seriously not mind pulling John into his room and kissing him like there was no tomorrow. He could only imagine the way that sweet, partially southern accent would sound coming out in quick, strained sounds. The way John would look over Alex, teasing him gently. Alex could barely contain himself as he thought about John's lips trailing down his neck, to lower places. The way John would feel pressed up against him, the sound of John's grunts as he thrust deep into Alex.

"Fuck," Alex muttered, looking down to see that a boner had formed. He instantly filled his mind with the most unsexy thoughts he could; From major Washington to John Adams, his ex-wife, and more. The boner went away pretty quickly after that. Alex had to lie there a little longer, soaking in the fact that he just got a boner from his roommate. I mean, he knew he thought John was attractive, but holy shit, he hadn't gotten a boner over someone close to him since the last time his ex-wife's sister was in town.

Alex stood up, sighing and went downstairs, smiling at Phillip happily eating mac and cheese while John chugged water. Alex had to ignore the way John's legs looked in his blue skinny jeans. The way the hem of his boxer briefs stuck out from the rips in the back of the thighs. The way his bubble butt just looked so fucking good. Alex had never been very dominating, but shit, he really wanted to eat John's ass.

"Alright, I gotta skedaddle," John stated, breaking Alex out of his trance. "No sugar for Phillip, you know the address of where the recital is, and, uh, is that it?"

Alex nodded, laughing a bit at John. "I believe so."

"Alright, okay, cool," John said. "Okay, Pippy, I'll see you soon, alright buddy? Be good for Alex, don't make a mess. I love you, kiddo. Goodbye, Alex, I'll see you soon."

Alex nodded, waving, as John left the house in quite a hurry, speed walking down the street with his bag of dance clothes, ready to get to the subway and hop the turnstile. He was caffeinated, and in a hurry. So the walk wouldn't take that long.

"Okay, and I have my dance clothes, shoes, water," John listed as he walked down the cement steps into the subway. It was hot, despite the cooler August air, but then again, when was the subway not a humid wasteland that reeked of piss, vomit and cigarette stubs? John hopped the turnstile and made his way onto the platform, waiting for the A train to arrive. When it did, John stepped on and grabbed a bar, since there was never any seating on the A train. A low grumble came from John's stomach, which he ignored, making a fake promise to grab a bagel or something later.

The train stopped at about four blocks from the school where the recital was being held, so John had another walk there. He stepped into the theatre doors, happily greeting the other teachers who were already there. Maria was lying on her back, stretching, so John made quick work of changing, then joined her.

"You hungry?" She asked.

John just shrugged. "Not really. I'll eat after the recital though. Sugar daddy wanted to go out for dinner with the governor who he invited to this think."

"Have you and sugar daddy, like, you know..." Maria trailed off, humping the air a bit and smirking mischievously.

John snorted. "We have not! We're just friends, and I plan to keep it that way."

"Alright alright," Maria surrendered. "How're your wrists?"

John shrugged, holding up his hand. "They still hurt, but the bruises are gone. Could be worse, you know? If I wasn't fucking anemic, I'm sure they wouldn't have been as bad."

"I'm sure if you ate more you wouldn't be anemic," Maria teased, nudging John with her arm since neither of them had gotten up off the floor yet, despite the fact that they probably should.

"Hardy har," John mumbled sarcastically. "I eat just fine. I'm sure if you ate more than stoner foods and pussy, you wouldn't be bloated twenty-four-seven. How's that nugget of truth, huh? You still wanna get on me about my low iron levels?"

Maria groaned. "John, I am so bloated right now, let me tell you."

John just snorted. "I know you are, honey. Come on, that ballerina uniform ain't gonna tie itself up. Lemme help."

Maria nodded, standing up and helping John up. "Make me look skinny, I have a fuck buddy coming around and I want him to think I eat more than just pizza and beer."

About fifteen minutes went by, and students started showing up. John had a whole room for his class, so once they were all dressed, they came in. John was nonstop, walking around and taping up blistered feet, passing out water bottles, making sure people were stretched and what not. There was a lot of talking, and John had to quickly tell someone to save a McDonald's burger for after the performance.

"Okay, okay, you all are amazing, and you all have been practicing so hard. Believe me, I can tell." John looked at a girl named Patty, whose toes were bruised. "Remember, no practice tomorrow, just rest. I want you all sleeping as late as possible. I sent out an email to your parents asking them to keep you from school. Any questions? Safety concerns? Anyone need painkillers or cough drops or decongestant? Is there literally anything that anyone needs or wants to know?"

"Is it true the governor is here?" Will asked.

John nodded. "Yes, my platonic sugar daddy is friends with him. Next question?"

"What's a platonic sugar daddy?" Patty questioned.

"It's a rich man who lets me and my son stay in his house for free and buys us stuff but we're just friends. Anything else?" John looked around and was grateful to see no hands. "Alright, we go on in ten minutes, so everyone, stay stretched, practice anything you need, be ready and limber. I'm sure you're going to so amazing, and I'm so proud to be your teacher."

"Don't get sappy on us now, John," a student called out, laughing.

John just snorted. "I'll do whatever I damn please. Alright, let's do this."

Ten minutes went by, and soon, John was walking on stage to look at the crowd of parents and others. He was handed a microphone by Martha while his class got into their places. He heard a very loud 'go John!' That sounded suspiciously like Alex. John had to fight back heat in his cheeks as his whole class snickered. He could hear Maria cackling offstage, and knew he was never going to be able to live this down.

"Thank you for coming, parents, extended family, supportive friends, and partners," John started, knowing most of his students had at least one partner, and all of them were here tonight. "With much pride, I would like to present my class. Most of them have practiced to a point of holes being worn into their dance shoes. I cannot tell you how many bruised and blistered feet I've taped up in the past hour. I could not be prouder. So, without further ado, I would like to present my class, who will be dancing to Angela by the Lumineers, Riptide by Vance Joy, and Carry On by Fun."

John left the stage and watched his class as the music played. He was beaming with joy, ignoring Maria's subtle teasing. Angela, as well as Riptide, went by, and the class made practically no mistakes. Carry On played, and John watched his class carefully. Towards the end of the dance, John watched them do the small leap, the seven of them going in sync. John's entire body tensed when he saw a look a pain flash across Patty's face. She continued doing the dance, but the limp was obvious.

"Maria, Maria, go get me tape and gauze, and an ice pack," John ordered urgently. The song ended and the light went down, and John ran to help Patty off stage. John held her up, carrying her offstage quickly and setting her down on a chair. Patty was rocking a bit, trying not to cry. It was dark, and John needed a light, so Maria handed him the stuff and turned on her phone flashlight. John untied Patty's ballet slipper and took it off, gasping at the way the sprain had already begun to swell.

"It hurts," Patty sniffled.

"Alright, okay, hey," John said softly, pressing the ice pack wrapped in paper towel to the ankle. "It's just a sprain, hon. It's okay, you're okay. Deep breaths. Hey, okay, you're gonna have to rest this thing. That means you should probably take a few days off, keep it elevated, iced. It's gonna be okay. I'm going to wrap it up, and then you're gonna sit down and relax in the trap room. Hey, it's gonna heal, I promise."

"I'm sorry, I know I kept messing up after it sprained," Patty mumbled softly.

John just waved his hand, still holding the ice pack to her ankle. "You did crazy well. You know, you remind me of Lady Gaga when she like, broke her hip or something. You just kept dancing, and really, you did everything just right, but you just did it within your limitations. You did amazing, Patty. I'm gonna wrap your foot up now, so try to keep it at a ninety degree angry so you can walk. Okay?"

Patty nodded and moved her foot up while John wrapped gauze around it, then began wrapping tape around it too. When John was done, he carefully helped Patty back to the trap room, where he had given his students the pep talk not too long ago. Patty was greeted by her classmates, all asking if she was okay, clearing a spot for her and making sure she was comfortable. John sighed, thinking for a second about what her injury would entail.

"Alright, you're going to need an ankle brace," John started. "You can pick them up at any pharmacy. I'm gonna give you some painkillers, and then you need to relax and let that heal, okay? Do not push it. The best thing for a sprain is rest." John pulled out a bottle of Aleve from his bag and shook two into her hand. "If you mix vodka and cloves together, into a paste sort of, and rub it into your ankle, it'll help. When I sprained my wrists, that's what I did and it really helped. I don't know how, but it did."

Patty groaned. "I can't believe this. Of course, I had to go off and get hurt, and nationals are coming up. Fuck, I still need to make an audition tape."

"Okay, well, the audition tape isn't due for another three weeks, so rest up this week, practice next week, and then I'll help you make the tape," John stated. "You got this, Patty. There's no way you aren't going to make it to nationals. You're gonna be okay, alright?"

Patty nodded, sighing. "Fuck, I just, shit. This was not how I thought this recital was gonna go. Shit."

"Hey, as someone who's been dancing for about twenty years, I've sprained my ankle at least eighteen times. Don't worry," John assured her.

She nodded. "Thank you."

John smiled. "Any time. Stay hydrated." John looked around the room. "All of you, stay hydrated. Make sure you eat healthily, take your meds, whatever you kids do nowadays. Eat dirt if your iron is low, whatever."

The recital went by, and soon enough, Patty's parents were helping her out to the car, so John was free to mingle since there was a cool auction going on to raise funding for the dance program. John found Maria, nursing a to-go coffee mug filled with margarita. John smiled, placing his arm around her and startling her a bit.

"Hey, how's Patty?" Maria asked, her words slurring into each other.

John nodded, smiling. "Patty's good. Her ankle is sprained, but she's gonna rest up, and she'll be okay by the time she needs to make an audition tape for nationals. How'd your group do? Any injuries?"

Maira shook her head. "It was all peachy keen. Hey, is Pip here tonight or-"

Maria was cut off by the one and only. "Papa!"

John turned around and scooped Phillip up, smiling and kissing his head. "Hey, buddy! How's my favorite boy doing?"

"I'm doing great, thanks," Alex joked, approaching them.

John cocked an eyebrow in Alex’s direction.

"Alex let me get ice cream," Phillip informed John. "It's loud in here."

John looked to Alex, his face void of emotion. "So you gave Phillip sugar when I specifically told you not to give Phillip sugar." John sighed. "It's your backyard he's going to be running around in tonight, so get ready for that."

Alex shrugged. "How can I say no to that face? I mean, the kid is adorable, come on."

"Hold on," Maria, who had been standing there the whole time, uninterrupted. "Hold on, you, you're the sugar daddy. My God, you're shorter than I thought. And look at all that hair!" Maria, who was much more drunk than she should've been, ruffled Alex's hair. "So much! I mean, it's straight, but the length makes up for that!"

Alex paused. "I'm... sugar daddy?"

John groaned, about to step in, when his boss, Martha, walked over, smiling. She always seemed to always come into a conversation at the right times, saving him from a lot of awkward situations. She was older, in her mid-forties, but had a very young spirit. She had lived in New York her whole life, growing up in Washington Heights since her parents were both Hispanic. She had curly brown hair, tan skin, and bright eyes.

"John, Maria, your classes did wonderfully," Martha complimented. She then smiled at Phillip, who was still being held by John. "Hey buddy, did you like the show?"

Phillip nodded, smiling. "Yeah, it was super cool. I wanna dance!"

John smiled proudly. "He really is my son."

"Jacky! Come back!" A voice called out. Moments later, a kid who looked about twelve was at Alex's side, tugging on his shirt and shoving a bag of peanut M&M's into his hand. Alex was merely confused, but John almost gasped when the governor approached them, holding the hand of a little girl. He was taller than John saw on TV, with a broad chest. He looked big. Much bigger than John.

"I got him, Major," Alex laughed, keeping his hand on the kid's shoulder.

The governor smiles, catching his breath and smiling. "Thank you, ranger." Washington looked over Maria, Martha, and John. "Hello, I'm George Washington."

"I'm drunk," Maria stated.

"Drunk on dancing, haha," John cut in. "That's Maria, I'm John, and this is the curator of this dance company, Martha Curtis."

"It's nice to meet you all, this is my daughter Patsy and my son, Jacky," Washington smiled, waving a bit.

John noticed something that Jacky did. Instead of just waving, he made the sign for hello, which was more like a salute. John made eye contact with him, then did the sign for 'are you deaf?' Which was a point at Jacky, and then John pointing to his ear and touching his chin. Jacky replied in the sign for yes, and John almost smiled, moving his hands at an almost rapid pace, matching Jacky as they talked secretly while the other adults talked. John set Phillip down and made sure he stayed close while John continued signing with Jacky. Jacky explained that he was recently adopted by Washington, who was still working on learning sign language. Jacky was twelve and was very fluent in sign language. John explained that he was hearing, but also very fluent in sign language.

"So, should we go to dinner?" Washington asked, and John found himself doing what he always did, translating it into sign language.

Jacky signed back a request for Italian and John nodded, looking to Alex and Washington, as well as Martha, who was laughing at a joke Washington made. "Hey, Jacky wants Italian and that sounds really good. There's a place nearby that I went to once."

"Wait, how do you know that?" Washington asked, eyes wide.

"Oh, I'm fluent in sign language," John explained. "Jacky told me. I'd kill for some linguini right now. Pip, you want some chicken pasta?"

Phillip nodded happily, smiling and holding John's hand. "Yeah, can we go to Pastabella?"

"We're gonna go somewhere way better than Pastabella," John stated, smiling and ruffling his hair. "I don't really need to change, so we can go whenever."

"Martha, won't you join us?" Washington asked, smiling sweetly. John looked at Martha, who was nodding and smiling. Martha was very, very single. She never had time to settle down, never had time to find a husband or have kids. She had dated, but nothing really serious. Maybe Washington was an opportunity for her to finally settle with someone.

"Oh, well, I guess," Martha said, smiling. "Will I be okay in just this?" Martha gestured to her yoga pants and thin hoodie. "I mean, this is kinda what I wore here, and at least I don't have my tap shoes on anymore. I once wore them out by accident and it got annoying."

John chuckled, gesturing down to his muscle tee and cuffed sweat pants that went down to just below his knee. "Hey, I'm wearing this. I can flash my pit hair to the whole restaurant."

Martha gagged and laughed. "I swear, your pits look like my legs in January."

John snorted. "Your legs wish."

Alex laughed. "It really isn't difficult to remember that you're twenty-five. Come on, I'm hungry. Let's get going."

John picked up Phillip, shouldering his bag of clothes and the group of seven made their way out of the large building to their cars. John got in with Alex, and Washington offered Martha a ride since she took the subway there. John helped get Phillip into his car seat, then sat in the front seat, leaning back and letting Alex put on some classical music. John was tired, feeling almost light-headed because he hadn't really eaten much before the recital. His stomach was pretty pissed at him, but John just sipped his water, nodding along to the music until they arrived at the restaurant. John pulled Phillip out, settling the boy on his hip as they walked in. Washington, Martha, Patsy, and Jacky were already there, sitting at a large table. Jacky was pointing to things and signing their names, and Washington was repeating.

"And we've arrived!" Alex smiled, sitting down. John sat down next to him and helped Phillip into the final chair. A waitress quickly came over and set down menus and some water. She took drink orders and left. John was a little excited for the glass of wine he ordered, because it had been a long time since he’d gone to a restaurant where they served wine and were smoke-free.

"John, you look very familiar," Washington started, staring. "You'll have to excuse me, it seems my memory has never been too sharp. Have we met?"

John shook his head. "Uh, no, but I did speak in defense for the Parent And Child bill, so that might be what you're talking about. I haven't really done much else, so, that's probably it."

Washington's eyes lit up. "Yes! Oh, I remember you. Such a way with words. I was very infuriated about the repeal. I myself am a single parent, and even with more than enough money, I still find myself exhausted on occasion. I could not imagine what parenting is like as someone just scraping by."

John looked at Phillip. "Worth it. I guess that's the best way to describe."

Alex smiled, then looked to Martha. "How long have you been running the dance school? I was very impressed with the quality and shocked at how professional the whole thing was. Could you tell me a bit about your business?"

Martha nodded. "I started working for this dance school when I was twenty-four, and it was passed onto me after the last owner retired. We strive for greatness. Most of these kids want to spend the rest of their life doing this, and all of the teachers are here to support that. I can't tell you how many students have emailed me from the theatre they're performing in to thank me for my support. Watching these students succeed makes my day. The school has been through its ups and downs, but in the end, it is always so worth it. Alex, George, what do you two work as?" Martha suddenly realized she just asked the governor what his job was, and her had flew to her face flushed, bringing a small laugh from John.

Washington, not phased at all, just smiled. "Well, I just so happen to be the governor of New York. Alex, here, is the leader of the budget division for New York, and he makes my job much easier. I do not believe I could have been elected without him."

Alex snorted. "Oh yeah, I'm sure my loud-mouthed opinionated ass is just great for ratings and approval."

"At least that video of you slapping John Adams never got released," Washington pointed out. A waitress came and set down everyone's drinks, then took orders. When she left, Washington smiled. "I should've called for impeachment because of that."

Alex grinned cheekily. "You love me too much. Besides, who would argue with Thomas? Lafayette? As if. I'm the only one who can match Thomas' assholeness."

John listened to the two curiously, definitely not missing the almost parental sound in Washington's voice as he talked to Alex, and definitely not missing the way Alex almost replicated a teenager as he shot back smart ass responses. If John hadn’t known that Alex's dad had left, he would've assumed that Washington was Alex's dad. They had a relationship that was definitely a little parental. John made eye contact with Martha and she looked to Alex and George, probably wondering the same thing. John shook his head, shrugging and offering a small half smile.

"Papa," Phillip groaned, tugging at John's arm. "I'm bored."

"You wanna play a game?" John offered.

Phillip nodded. "I spy." The kid looked around, obviously thinking, then looked back to John, smiling widely. "I spy with my little eye, something red."

"Wow," John laughed, looking around at the red-themed restaurant. "You did not make it easy. Is it the flowers on the table?"

Phillip shook his head, giggling.

"What about, what about the table clothes?" John continued, laughing and sipping his wine. "Is it that?"

Phillip once again shook his head, giggling at his father's mistakes.

"Okay, then is it..." John looked around, thinking. "The walls?"

Phillip nodded and sang, "Yup! Your turn."

John looked around, leaning back and pushing some hair out of his face that had slipped from its braid. His eyes searched the room, eventually landing on the purple dress of a woman at a table across from them. "I spy with my little eye something purple."

Phillip looked around sipping his cup of milk and attempting to locate what John said. After some long thought, Phillip looked to John, then pointed at Washington. "Is it his tie?"

John chuckled. "No, no it's not his tie. It's not at this table."

Phillip looked around for another moment, then gasped happily. "Is it that lady's dress?"

"Yes!" John cheered, high fiving Phillip. "Good job, buddy. Hey, we're going to have a sleepover with Beverly tomorrow night, does that sound fun? I'll make grilled cheese and tomato soup, and we can play Candy Land or Life, and we can color."

"Yes!" Phillip cheered. "Can we get ice cream?"

"Beverly can't eat dairy, honey," John reminded Phillip. "But we can get some rice Krispie treats that that won't hurt Beverly's stomach, and you both like them."

"Yes!" Phillip laughed, pumping his fist.

"Oh, John, look what Lafayette just sent me," Alex smiled, holding out his large phone to John so he could see. On the screen Lafayette was the first to be seen, in his pajamas, sitting on a couch that was not wasn't Herc's, so they must be at Lafayette's house. Leaning against Laf, was a sleeping Herc, curled into the French man's side. In Herc's lap was a sleeping William. Laf was smiling, his eyes wide, with a text that said 'I can't move Alex. I'm trapped.'

John snorted. "Herc is a heavy sleeper too. Lafayette better get comfortable."

"Oh man, that reminds of the time Lafayette accidentally took..." Alex trailed off. "He took, uh, he uh, heck. Uh, Major, help me out here?"

"Adderall?" Washington suggested.

Alex shook his head. "No, no, the sleepy stuff. I'm blanking on the word. No, hold on, no, this is a word that doesn't really look different, it's, uh." Alex paused, thinking. "Melatonin! Yes! Jesus, I gotta get back on Duolingo. Practice again."

"Well, maybe if you wrote your reports in English, you would be better," Washington chided. "I swear, I have to get Lafayette or someone to translate them for me because I'm not about to make my sleep-deprived employee work even harder for me.”

Washington turned to Martha and John. “I swear I have to peel him from his desk at the end of the day. Though, lately, it's been a bit easier to get him to go home. Wonder what that's about?" Washington looked at John.

John laughed. "Well, Alex has been helping out a lot, so hats off to him."

"Well, I do what I can," Alex laughed. Out of some spousal instinct that Alex had never quite lost, he gently placed his hand down on John's thigh. He quickly realized, the moment his hand touched the soft fabric, that John was not his boyfriend, and he moved his hand, praying John didn't feel that.

John did. He choked on his wine, his eyes wide.

"Are you okay, John?" Martha asked. "I can't have one of my best teachers choking, especially after such a good performance."

John nodded, pounding his chest. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. My wine just took the wrong turn." John chuckled but side eyed Alex, trying to hint at him to not do that. "I'm okay, don't worry about me."

"Good," Washington chuckled.

Dinner went by, and soon enough, John and Alex were stumbling through the door of their house. John felt a little buzzed from the wine but still sat down on Phillip's bed, gently running his fingers through his son's curly hair while he read poems by Shel Silverstein. Phillip was curled up into John's side, staring at the pictures and listening to his father's voice talk. John sighed after a while, looking down at Phillip to see that the boy had fallen asleep. John smiled bookmarking the book and setting it on the nightstand.

"My dearest son," John mumbled quietly, kissing Phillip on the head. "I love you more than anything in this life. You are my pride and joy, you outshine the morning sun. I know you will never know just how much I love you, but, my sweet Phillip, I hope you know, that no matter what, my love for you will never waiver, nor will it fade." John kissed Phillip's forehead again, then got up, tucking the small child in. "Good night."

John stepped out of Phillip bedroom, making his way down the hallway into the bathroom. He peed, brushed his teeth, took some time to unbraid his hair, wet it, and then ran his fingers through it to untangle it a bit. Sighing, just stared in the mirror, grimacing at the acne that’d never really left. When he was a kid, he had to take medication for his acne, since it got pretty bad in eighth grade. Around his junior year, his hormones calmed down, and as long as he washed his face, he was fine. Now, he just needed to clean it with water and moisturize it to keep his acne tame, though he still always seemed to have a bit of it somewhere. John absolutely despised it, especially since he was twenty-five and still getting breakouts, though people had told him it would stop around age twenty. Sighing, John left the bathroom, headed to his room.

"John," Alex's voice rang through the quiet hall, causing John to jump.

"Jesus, Alex, you startled me," John chuckled, gripping his chest a bit.

"I uh," Alex paused, thinking. "I want to apologize for the restaurant, when I uh, touched your leg. I just, I dunno. It was some spousal habit I gained from being married for about nine or ten years. It obviously, uh, you obviously weren't expecting it, and you seemed to not be very appreciative of it, and I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

John shrugged. "It's okay. It just startled me really. I wasn't expecting it, you know? It's okay though, don't worry about it. I'm just grateful I didn't actually choke."

Alex laughed, looking down at the floor, then back up at John. "Look, I've never been one to just, like, not wear my heart on my sleeve. My thirty-four, almost thirty-five years of life have taught me that not taking action is the only way to guarantee nothing to happen, so uh." Alex paused a little bit, then smiled. "I just, I like you, John Laurens. I think you're nice, and I think you're a really good person, and I want you to know that. So, uh, yeah. Goodnight."

Alex left John standing there. John's heart had sped up, and his cheeks felt hot. He felt almost like a child, wondering if Alex just liked him or if Alex like-liked him. What on earth did that mean? I mean, Alex obviously liked him because they were living together and they were friends but did he just want to reiterate that to John? Or did John just hear a confession of Alex's feelings for him?

"I'm too tired for this," John muttered quietly to himself, walking into his room. He changed out of his dance clothes, into a pair of sweatpants and nothing else, then laid down on his bed, hugging a pillow. His mind was still racing a little bit, but the fact that he had to be up in five hours quickly pulled him into a deep sleep.

He woke up the next morning, groaning as his alarm went off. He quickly changed into his clothes, splashing cold water on his face and making his way downstairs. He got a cup of coffee, chugging it quickly, then walked out of the house to the subway. He got there, hopping the turnstile, just making his train. John stayed standing since he knew if he sat down, he would fall asleep. He got to the bar, putting on his apron and waving at Sally, who was currently accepting a bundle of cash down the front of her thong.

John worked his shift, not minding when Sally asked him to take his break with her and they both walked down the street to a corner store, getting some coffee, Sally wearing a long coat over her less than covering outfit. She and John drank coffee, John politely declining the offer of a nutter butter from the package Sally had bought.

When John's shift finished, he hung up his apron and made his way back onto the train, buying another coffee to keep him awake. He didn't have a dance class to teach today, and he still hadn't found another job, so he no longer had anything to do besides drop Phillip off and pick Phillip up. John was almost ecstatic.

"Morning," Alex commented lightly as John walked through the door.

"Good morning," John smiled, coming over and finally indulging himself in some food, a few bites of leftover Chinese.

Alex raised his eyebrows. "Someone looks happy."

"I have no more work today," John sighed. "I just, after I drop Phillip off at daycare, I have nothing else to do. I'm gonna do nothing, Alex. I'm gonna do absolutely nothing. I'm so excited. It's gonna be great."

Alex smiled. "Good for you. Rest up, papa bear."

John nodded, popping his back. "For real. I'm gonna go shower, then I'll get Phillip up. I'm not gonna ask you to give us a ride, because I'm just gonna be coming back here, so-"

Alex cut him off. "Actually, I can give you a ride, because I work from home today unless I'm called in, so the ride is no bother, really."

"I couldn't ask you to-"

Alex cut John off. "Good thing you aren't asking, you're just accepting a favor. Now, I'm ready when you are, so, take your time."

John bit his lip, smiling and looking down. "Thank you."

Alex nodded, shooing John off to shower and what not. John showered, embracing his Pavlov with open arms, sitting on the edge of the tub due to the fact that this current session of feverish masturbation felt a bit better than usual. When he was finished showering and whatnot, he dried off and got dressed, slipping on his blue skinny jeans and groaning loudly when he realized a small rip had formed in the crotch.

"Time to get new jeans," John muttered, mentally mapping out where Target was in comparison to Alex’s house. It was the only place John actually bought clothes. Nothing he owned was designer, nothing he owned was ever bought at full price. He had one app on his phone, and that was the Target app. In a pinch, that thing was a lifesaver. When Phillip needed new clothes, or when John needed new clothes, the app provided coupons, deals. Even ten percent off was helpful.

"Come on, buddy, time to wake up," John said quietly, nudging Phillip a bit. John had already pulled out some clothes for Phillip; some cargo shorts and a tee shirt with a dinosaur, as well as some socks and underwear.

"I don't wanna," Phillip groaned. "Life is too loud."

"I know, buddy," John said softly. "But it's time to go to daycare. Come on."

Phillip groaned and John got to work dressing him. John got on Phillip's shorts and shirt, as well as socks, then carried the kid downstairs. Phillip ran his fingers over his very very pale knees, small patches of vitiligo crafting a delicate border. Phillip had started developing vitiligo when he was two, and so far it was only on his knees, but doctors told John it might spread to Phillip's face, hands, torso as the kid got older. Phillip's mother had vitiligo, and so did her father. His mother had it on her eyes, hands, knees, and breasts. She warned John that Phillip probably would have it too since it had apparently been passed down for the past ten generations. Phillip did, but the kid didn't really think much of it, and thankfully, no one really commented on it.

"Morning, Pip," Alex greeted, pouring milk into a bowl of cereal for Phillip and setting it down. The kid got to work on it instantly, chowing down and John kissed his head, smiling, before pulling out a glass of water.

"You want your hair up or down today, buddy?" John asked sweetly. "I can braid it, or put it up in a bun, or a ponytail, or you can just leave it down."

"Bun," Phillip requested.

John nodded. "Alright, buddy, you stay right here, and I'll go get some gel and hair ties." John ran up the stairs, collecting the items he needed quickly, then came back down. Phillip was still eating, so John got to work on Phillip's hair. John was always so grateful that Phillip's mom made him learn how to take care of black hair, because even though Phillip was only biracial, and his hair wasn't as curly as his moms, it still was really curly. "Man, kid, you just keep growing your hair, don't you?"

"Phillip's got really curly hair," Alex commented.

John nodded. "His other twenty-three chromosomes had like, an afro. It was kick ass too. She was like, one of those black panther ladies, you know. Anyway, we lived together for a bit while the bun was baking, and she made me learn to do her hair. It was annoying at the time, but I owe her my life for making me do that. I don't think I could manage Phillip's hair if she hadn't taught me how to work with black hair." John smiled at Phillip. "This little guy would rather die than cut his hair. Won't even trim it. I have to put coconut oil on his hair to make sure his ends don't split. Oof, I should really do that." John tapped Phillip's shoulder. "Hey, buddy, we're gonna do a wash night tonight, alright?"

Phillip groaned. "No, I hate the feeling of wet hair."

"I know, I know, but it's been a week, it's time," John stated.

"But I hate it," Phillip whined.

"I know, but it won't be so bad," John smiled gently. "We'll watch cartoons, and we can listen to Kendrick or Eminem and it won't be so bad, I promise."

"But it takes forever," Phillip complained, drawing out the 'forever' to emphasize his point. The kid didn't like sitting still or doing one thing for too long, so wash day was hell on earth for him. John always tried to make it not as awful, and it really wasn't that awful. It took about twenty minutes to fully shampoo and then rinse the shampoo out, then they had to put in deep conditioner and leave that in. John usually took that time to make sure Phillip was all washed off, and then they detangled his hair, which took about forty minutes. After that, they rinsed Pip's hair, then Phillip no longer had to sit on a chair with his head tilted back into the sink. When they were all done with that, John put in leave in conditioner, as well as some coconut oil, and then Phillip was finally done with wash day, which took about an hour and a half.

"You don't wash his hair every time you bathe him?" Alex asked.

John shook his head. "Once a week like clockwork. It's why Sundays or Mondays, Phillip and I usually disappear for about two hours and then your bathroom smells like coconuts and has hair in the sink. I get it wet and stuff, and usually brush it when it's wet so it's not like, getting dreaded, but no, we only wash it once a week. It takes longer for it to get dirty anyway since it's curly. You got that, like, straight hair. You have to wash it more often."

Alex nodded, ruffling up his long brown hair. "Yeah, I do."

"Do you have coconut oil by the way? We just ran out," John mumbled, almost cursing as one of the hair ties snapped and Phillip's hair came undone. John went back to work, trying to get Phillip's hair up into this damned bun while looking at Alex.

"Uh, no," Alex said slowly.

"Cool, okay, I'll pick some up later. I'm gonna go out and get new jeans anyway since mine just ripped in the crotch, so it's time to put them to rest." John smiled, satisfied as he finally got the hair into a bun. He put some gel over Phillip's hair so it stayed flat and didn't look frizzy, then sighed, satisfied with his work.

"Damn, super dad," Alex joked, sipping his coffee.

John nodded, chuckling. "Alright, Pip, you go get your backpack. Remember to pick out a book that you won't mind Mrs. Adrienne reading to the class."

"Okay, papa," Phillip smiled, climbing off his stool.

John smiled, pulling out his phone and finding a picture of Phillip's mom. He kept the pictures since he knew Phillip might someday ask about his mom, and John didn't want to just keep secrets. He had a few physical pictures in the big folder full of finance stuff that Phillip never looked at. "Alex, c'mere." John showed him the picture, which was of Phillip's, three months pregnant, and dressed up for a black lives matter protest since she was really into that. "Look at that hair. I'm grateful my hair genes are in there because I could barely manage her hair. Once she got bigger, she couldn't do wash day on her own, so it was me, and two of her friends helping. They made me learn and help."

Alex smiled, though he felt a tinge of jealousy pang at his heart. "She's gorgeous."

John nodded. "Yeah."

"When was the last time you saw her?" Alex wondered.

"Ran into her as she bolted from the hospital. I had coffee for both of us, and she was about to be in the home stretch, but she bumped right into me. It was really awkward for a second, but then I just smiled and handed her the coffee, and told her to go." John shrugged. "Haven't seen her since, but I've heard from a few mutual friends that she's doing okay. She graduated from college, she has a job. I'm glad."

"Don't you ever get angry at her for leaving you?" Alex questioned.

John shrugged. "I mean, no. She didn't want the kid, I did." John looked at Alex. "Whatever I've missed out on, it doesn't really matter to me. When you're a parent, nothing else really matters anymore. All the problems that consumed your life before, they don't really matter after you have kids. The only thing that matters is them."

Alex is about to say something, but Phillip comes downstairs, smiling brightly with a book in his hand. John greeted Phillip happily and the three of them got into the car to drive Phillip to daycare. John put in a Blackbear CD, his Deadroses album since that was the only one he let Phillip listen to. Blackbear was really intense, and it was a lot easier to know what he was saying, so John was more careful about what he played for Phillip.

"Okay, buddy, I'll pick you up, and then we can go get some ice cream, alright?" John said as he unbuckled Phillip at the daycare. "Then we'll go wash your hair, and then we can go on a walk or do art or something, whatever you want."

"Okay," Phillip nodded. "I want Alex to say goodbye to me."

"Uh, bye! Have a good day!" Alex called from the driver's seat.

John snorted, pulling Phillip out of the large car. "He wants you to hug him goodbye, Alex. Humor him. It'll take two seconds."

Alex just smiled like an idiot as he got out. He figured it was a really good sign that Phillip liked him, since John seemed to deem it important that Phillip was okay with stuff, and Alex really wanted to date John. "Absolutely no problem."

"Thank you," Phillip smiled.

Alex knelt down and hugged Phillip, smiling like an idiot still. "Have a good day at school, mon fils. Learn something new."

"I'm gonna learn more French," Phillip stated, very sure of his words.

John leaned down and hugged his son, kissing his forehead and smiling. "I love you, Phillip. Have fun. Please behave, and don't take your hair down, because lord knows your white teachers couldn't put it back up."

"I love you too, papa," Phillip told John. "I won't."

"Okay, good, have fun!" John called as Phillip ran into the playground.

"I will!" Phillip yelled back.

John smiled, sighing and turned to Alex. "Kids."

Alex nodded, laughing as he got back into the driver's side. "Kids."

They both got in, and for a while, it was quiet, and then John turned to look at Alex, who seemed relaxed. John sighed, clearing his throat a bit. "Phillip really likes you, you know?"

Alex smiled over at John. "Well, I hope so. I mean, you guys are living with me. It would suck if your kid didn't like me."

John chuckled. "I've just, I've lived with a couple of guys, and Phillip liked them at first, but after a few weeks, he didn't. Granted, usually after a few weeks, I didn't either, but I needed to housing, and those were usually times where I had seriously no money and I... Anyway, I just, I don't know what guardian angel sent you, but thanks for like, not being a total douche wipe and thanks for everything you've done. You've just been so kind to Phillip and me."

Alex just shrugged, though his cheeks were burning up. "You underestimate how much you two have done for me. I just, I like the company. I like the fact that I don't feel trapped in that house. You and Phillip, you guys just make it a nicer place to be. I dunno, maybe I'm being sappy, but I just, I'm really glad to have you guys at my house."

John smiled, biting his lip and nodding. The conversation ended there until they got back to the house. John wasn't totally ready to run the chores he needed to run yet, so he planned on probably lay down for a little bit, relaxing. John and Alex walked through the door of the house together, smiling and both about to go off and do their own things, but then Alex's phone rang.

"Fuck, really?" Alex muttered, the phone pressed to his ear. "Yeah, yeah, I'll be there in ten. Keep your pants on Adams, it's not my fault your wife isn't having sex with you." Alex hung up and looked to John with tired eyes. "I just got called into work. I'll be back in a couple hours? I dunno. Anyway, the house is yours."

"Good luck," John chuckled, saluting.

Alex nodded, walking right back out the door because the only clothes he ever really wears during the week are his work clothes.

John sighed, looking around the empty house. He went to the fridge and grabbed some pizza rolls, putting them in the microwave, heating them up, then eating them while he looked for good coupons on his target app. When he was done, he decided to put this alone time to good use and made his way up to his room. He laid back on his back, letting his mind wander to the darkest and most lustful parts. John thought about a porno he watched once, then slowly began to palm himself through his jeans.

John let a small noise escape his throat as he got harder. He ran his fingers over the denim fabric covering this thigh, teasing himself just a little bit. He groaned as the constriction of his jeans finally began to affect the bulge that had grown. John unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down to the middle of his thighs. His boner stuck up through his boxers, but John didn't feel like dragging this out too long, so he pulled those down too, wrapping his hand around his cock and slowly pumping himself.

John wasn't abnormally large. He wasn't some monster cock that brought destruction to all those who crossed its path. He definitely wasn't small, but he wasn't about to impale anyone. A solid seven inches, not too thick. It wasn't a bad dick. He kept it clean, he didn't shave it, but he didn't expect anyone he was with to shave either.

"Fuck," John muttered, running his thumb across his tip, feeling precum drip down onto his thighs. His hips jutted up a bit and he began to move his hand faster, feeling an orgasm begin to build up. He figured while he waited for himself to be able to get hard again, he'd catch up his shows, eat another batch of pizza rolls, and then maybe watch some porn, if he needed it.

"Hey John, I-"

"Ah!" John yelled, realizing Alex had just walked into his room. John was quick to sit up and pull a blanket over himself, moving to sit on the edge of his bed so he didn't have to make eye contact with Alex. His face was feeling incredibly hot and embarrassment coursed through his veins. "I thought you were at work!"

"Meeting was canceled!" Alex called back, his hands over his eyes. "Ah! I should've knocked! I'm sorry! I didn't know you were, I mean, I didn't, I thought you were just napping, not, well, you know, doing, doing what you were-"

"Okay!" John interrupted, not wanting to hear any more of Alex's awkward speech. "Alright, look, there's really no need to make a big deal out of this. Everyone has needs and stuff like that, and it's not a big deal, okay?"

Alex paused, then shrugged a bit. "Do you want a blowjob?"

"I'm sorry, what?" John squawked, jumping.

Alex shrugged, peeking out from his hands to make sure John was covered, then removed his hands. "I dunno, do you? You said it's not a big deal, and I mean..."

"Are you being serious?" John asked.

Alex nodded.

John raised, standing up and pushing the blanket off of him. "Alright, come here."

Alex was almost giddy as he walked over, getting down on his knees and looking up at John with wide brown eyes. John placed his hand on Alex's cheek and Alex found himself leaning against it, much like a cat. Alex gently reached up, tentatively wrapping his hand around John's cock and giving it a few lazy pumps before gently taking John's tip in his mouth, pursing his pink Caribbean lips and maintaining eye contact. John moaned at the feeling of Alex's tongue, tangling his hand in the older man's hair.

"Come on, don't just tease," John commanded, getting a good grip on Alex's hair and up tugging a bit. "You said a blow job, not a tease, so follow through."

Alex smiled, slowly beginning to bob his head around John's cock. John leaned back against the bed a little bit, groaning and sighing as Alex slowly worked himself farther down on John's cock. John groaned, pulling Alex's hair a little harder. Alex gagged as John forced him down farther, but tried to loosen up when he realized John wasn’t going to let up. John had an iron grip on his hair, hard enough to hurt, but Alex liked it. He’d never really had soft and sweet sex, and he didn't feel like he was missing out. He and his ex-wife would always have sex after arguments, so it was rough and aggressive. Her sister had a serious thing for dominance, which Alex had never really minded since she was good at it. Hell, even the girlfriend he had for three weeks liked rough sex. So, the feeling of John's hand gripping his hair tightly, forcing his head down just made Alex harder.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," John grunted, feeling an orgasm slowly build up. Alex soaked in the glory of that sound, swirling his tongue around the tip, then going down as far as he could, hollowing out his cheeks. John bucked his hips and for a second, Alex was almost worried he might throw up on John, but he made sure to relax his throat as John fucked his face. It didn't take much longer for John to push himself as deep as he could and then stop, letting out a low groan as he came. Alex swallowed around John's cock, drinking his come until John finally pulled out, Alex making a popping sound with his lips as he did.

There was a real quiet moment after John pulled his pants back up as he stared down at Alex, definitely seeing the bulge in Alex's dress slacks. Alex stared back up, spit dripping down his chin. John carefully wiped it off, then placed his hand around Alex's throat, pulling the man to his feet. Alex was literally jello under John's touch, trying to figure out what the man was thinking. Alex almost jumped when John pushed him down onto the bed but didn't seem to mind when John lied between his legs and palmed his bulge.

Alex gasped as John pulled his pants down to the middle of his thigh and began mouthing the outline of his bulge through his boxers. John pulled down Alex's boxers and licked a stripe up the bottom of his cock. Alex wasn't huge, but he wasn't small. A solid six inches, almost as thick as John.

John swallowed Alex, not quite making it down since he had a pretty strong gag reflex. It used to be worse, but with the few boyfriends John’d had, he’d gotten better. He was thankful Alex wasn't too long. He was also thankful that Alex had a basic sense of personal hygiene, since John wasn't a fan of going down on nasty dick. In his life of dating men, he had found that when it came down to it, there were two types of men. The type who were clean, wore deodorant, and showered regularly; and the type who don't. John had never really liked the type who didn't and was pleasantly surprised to find that Alex was very clean, smelling lightly of cologne.

"Ah! Ah!" Alex groaned, squirming. His back was arching, his legs were moving, and overall just wasn't sitting still, which made it really difficult for John to do his best work. Annoyed almost, John placed his hands on both of Alex's thighs, holding them down so at least he would stop getting kneed in the side. Alex's back still arched, his fingers tangling in John's hair, but not pulling. Alex ran his fingers through the black curls, breathing heavily. He felt like his greatest fantasy was coming true, and holy shit it was amazing. He never really thought he's had John between his legs, going down on him, but it felt great.

"You like that?" John slapped Alex's dick against his tongue, waiting for a response as he looked up at Alex with hooded eyes.

The older man seemed to be lost in his own world, not even capable of getting words out. John took that as a good sign and continued to go down on Alex, holding his thighs again so Alex couldn’t move too much. John kept sucking Alex off, occasionally stopping and nipping at a bit of foreskin, reminding Alex who was in charge. Alex could barely function. His head was filled with lustful things that no right-minded politician would ever say out loud. He wanted John to slap him and fuck him until he cried. He wanted John to do some serious damage.

"I'm gonna, I'm gonna," Alex could finish his sentence at how good this all felt.

John, who would rather die than swallow, pulled his mouth off and began to quickly pump Alex's cock, whispering curses and staring up at Alex with dark eyes. Alex came, his cum landing in strings on John's face, dripping off of the younger man's chin and onto the sheets. Alex moaned loudly as he did, letting out a drawn-out version of John's name. John sat up when Alex was finally finished, looking at the scene in front of him. Alex was completely starstruck by the blowjob he had just gotten, staring up at the ceiling with sweat dripping down his forehead.

"Well," started John. "I'm gonna clean up, and then I do believe I have a few errands to run. I'll see you in an hour or so." John got up and hurried out of the room, his eyes wide as he pulled out his phone and called for an Uber. He ran into the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror, Alex's cum still dripping down his cheeks. "You, you are a fucking idiot."

John wiped the semen off of his face, tying his hair up and making his way downstairs. John slipped on his shoes and walked outside, glad to see that the Uber was already there. Instead of going to the store, John had given Maria's address, because holy shit, he’d just sucked his roommate's dick.

"Maria!" John yelled loudly as he burst through the door of her studio apartment. On her bed, which was right by the door, she was buck naked, riding someone casually.

Maria looked at John, not at all phased by the fact that he’d barged into her apartment, grabing a bag of chips and sitting next to her and her current fuck. "Hey, John, you good?"

"I just sucked Alex's dick," John groaned.

Maria's eye widened. "What?"

"And he sucked mine!" John exclaimed, lying back and covering his face with his hands.

"Who is this and who is Alex?" The guy Maria was riding asked.

"This is John," Maria introduced. "John, this is Jacob. Jacob, Alex is John's formerly platonic roommate who is also a lowkey sugar daddy. No, Alex is really nice, especially to John's kid, and John thought he was straight because he was married to a woman and cheated on her with her sister, but obviously, he's not straight. Now you're caught up. John, what happened?"

John sighed, looking at Maria and Jacob. "I thought I was home alone, so I started jerking off, because like, I'm horny as hell all the time. Anyway, I was jerking off, but apparently, I wasn't home alone!"

"No," Jacob gasped.

"I know!" John groaned. "Anyway, Alex walked in! For a second, it was like, awkward, and then he offered me a blow job and I accepted and then I gave him a blow job and I let him cum on my face." John shoved a handful of chips into his mouth. "Now I have to deal with this and I don't know what to do! I'm such an idiot!"

"Well hold on," Maria started. "Don't you like him?"

"I don't know! I'm a single parent, Maria," John huffed. "I can’t spend time on crushes because it doesn't matter anymore. My attitude around dating is sort of like 'are we doing this or not' because I don't have time to flirt! So, I really don't know if I like him or not!"

"Well, what are his pros?" Jacob prompted.

John sighed, shrugging and shoving more chips into his mouth. "He's nice to my son. He's nice to me. He's funny. He's crazy smart. He's really laid back. Oh, he's got pretty eyes. He can't cook, but he knows every restaurant in the city. He can speak French and Spanish. Oh, man, and he's rich. I mean, fuck capitalism, but damn."

"What about his cons?" Maria questioned.

John thought for a second. "He's got shit taste in movies. Ask him for his favorite film and he always likes to say he's down to go see anything by some old stupid French director. Oh, and he's a psycho in the kitchen, in a fucking travesty. I mean, what kind of fucking monster cooks there pasta in the microwave? Uh, he only listens to the news and classical music. He's pretty clean, hygiene and organization wise, and he takes care of Phillip a lot, but he's still pretty bad at being a parent. Not in like, a bad way, he just doesn't know how to say no."

Jacob paused, thinking. "It sounds like his pros are what matters in a person, and his cons are just quirks that people have. I guess real question is, are you attracted to him? Because, like, he does sound really nice. Obviously, you have to be sort of attracted to him since you guys just sucked each other off. In the end though, what matters is that you connect with him emotionally. Sex is just sex, but do you feel like you can just talk to him?"

John smiled lightly, staring at the ceiling. "I mean, yeah. Obviously, he doesn't know every detail about my life right now, but, I mean, he's just easy to talk to. I feel like dating when you're my age is so ingenuine, and no one really acts like themselves, but Alex is just, he's real. I feel like he just, he gets it. He's not into the whole 'dance around your feelings' bullshit that most dudes are. It's easy to be around him because he's not putting on some mask. When you talk to him, you get the real him and nothing else."

"Sounds like John's got a crush," Maria laughed, grinding down against Jacob, bringing a small sound from him. "I think you should like, not push away your feelings, but maybe think about it a bit? You're obviously still kinda unsure, and you don't want to go into anything without knowing if you want to or not. Think about it for a little bit, then decide. You know?" Maria paused. "Also, you have a hole in the crotch of your pants and I can see your dick."

"You can't see my dick," John snorted. "I'm wearing boxers."

"Okay, fine, I can see the outline of your balls," Maria laughed. "You finally gonna buy a new pair? Or is mister minimalist still denying the fact that all his stuff is breaking?"

"Well, it's wash day for Pip, and we're out of coconut oil, so I'm gonna make a run to Target, get some coconut oil, some new pants, and we're running low on his shampoo and conditioner, so I'm gonna get a few more bottles of those. I swear the kid's hair is nonstop." John chuckled, looking over at Maria as she bounced a little faster on Jacob's dick. "That's really all I needed to talk about. Would you two like some privacy?"

"Join us or leave," Maria teased, laughing a bit.

John chuckled, sitting up and getting off her bed. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mars. Have fun."

Maria waved a bit as John walked out the door. "Go buy some new pants! And eat something for Christ's sake!"

"Yeah, yeah," John replied, waving his hand. He left the apartment and began to walk down the street to the nearest Target. He prayed no one could see the rip in his jeans, but knew that it would take a lot of staring and a real close up to really see the rip, and no one was sticking their head between John's legs. Well, no one John didn't know.

John arrived at Target, instantly heading to the clothes section. John pulled out his phone, checking how much money he had in his bank account, then beginning to browse. He picked out a few pairs of joggers to try on from the men's section, and two pairs of skinny jeans from the women's section, since the women's skinny jeans were the only ones that fit John's body alright. American Eagle Outfitters was John's go to as a kid, especially since he used to be way skinnier, and the women's jeans fit him just right, despite the different anatomy.

John tried on the pants he picked out, eventually deciding on a pair of blue skinny jeans, two pairs of joggers, and a comfortable pair of sweatpants since his pair was getting older. Sighing, John also went to the shoe section and got a new pair of sneakers, and some running shoes since he wanted to start running after work. He felt bad, guilty almost, for buying himself clothing, but he made up for it when he bought Phillip some nice hair products, some coconut oil, and hair ties since they were running low. Last minute, he remembered to grab some Rice Krispie treats for Beverly and Phillip since Beverly was lactose intolerant.

John got to the front, paid, and then called an Uber to head back home so he could get changed before picking up Phillip. The Uber ride was quiet, and soon enough, John was stepping out onto the street in front of the house that most likely held the guy who he’d given a blowjob to, barely two hours ago. John sighed, stepping inside and making his way up the stairs. He dropped off the hair stuff off on the counter, then entered his room. The blankets of the bed were no longer in the messy state John left them in, but instead, made neatly. John took out his new clothing, cutting off tags and throwing them away, then slipping off his old skinny jeans and putting on a pair of joggers. He looked in the mirror, groaning at his acne a bit, but ignoring it. Parenting had raised his tolerance for how bad he could look in public.

"Hey," John muttered to Alex as he walked into the kitchen, in search of some food, remembering Maria asking him to eat. John could feel the tension in the air. Alex's cheeks had darkened, and he looked like he was trying to figure out something to say. John had a fair share of waking up in a stranger's room and letting them cook him breakfast or cooking them breakfast, then stepping out of the door and never seeing them again. He hated that awkward after sex air, so before Alex could say something that made it even worse, John started. "Look, we were just horny, and we've discussed this before. Neither of us has gotten jack squat in a long time, and, I mean, the situation was just so. Don't, don't make it awkward. My friend James and I did this once a while back, but shit is normal between us, so you don't have to go on some rant or something. We were just, like, caught up in the moment. Phillip is gonna pick up on it if we're awkward, and I don't want to have to explain that it's because I sucked you off, so..."

Alex nodded, laughing. "Yeah, uh, okay. I can do that. I mean, like, we just I mean-"

"Like I said," John cut in quickly as he ordered an Uber so he can pick Phillip up. "We don't need to talk about this anymore. It's just like eating breakfast at the house of someone you had a one night stand with, you know? Whatever happened, it's not a big deal."

"I've, uh, I've never had breakfast at a one night stand's house," Alex chuckled. "And, I mean, vice versa. They all just sort of left, or I left before they woke up."

John snorted. "Classy." John glanced around a second. “I'll be back in a bit. I gotta pick Phillip up from daycare. Then we’ve got wash day. Alright, I’ve got this."

"You go, papa bear," Alex chuckled, looking back down at the file he was reviewing.

John smiled and walked out the door, ignoring the fact that he didn't actually get some food. He would get some later. The Uber was there, so John got in and they drove to Phillip's daycare, the Uber agreeing to wait a few minutes so John could pick up Phillip. John was pretty close to being able to afford an old Volvo from a college student, he just needed a couple hundred more dollars, which he would get in a few weeks.

"Hey, buddy!" John smiled as he hugged Phillip, signing him out.

"Hi, papa!" Phillip greeted, hugging John back.

"Go get your backpack, buddy. We've got an Uber waiting for us," John requested.

Phillip nodded, shoving some drawings into John's hand. "Hold this, papa."

John smiled, looking over the cute drawings, stopping at one of him, Phillip and someone else. John wasn't quite sure who it was, but the brown circle around the mouth made John think of the only man Phillip knew with a goatee. For a second, John wondered what Phillip actually thought Alex was to the two of them. The kid was young and impressionable, and Alex was a good guy. Phillip didn't really know that most kids have two parents though, because most of his friends had single parents.

"I'm ready!" Phillip trilled.

John scooped Pip up and held the kid on his hip, walking out to the Uber. "How was your day, kiddo? Did you learn anything new?"

Phillip nodded. "I learned about what happens when you mix colors! And we used counting blocks to count and we wrote numbers."

John opened the Uber door and got Phillip situated in the middle, then sat down next to him and closed the door. "Oh? What happens when you mix blue and yellow?"

"Green!" Phillip said proudly. "And red and blue make purple, and red and yellow make orange. My favorite color is yellow, and George's favorite color is purple. We tried to mix purple and yellow to make a better color but it just made brown."

John smiled. "Oh? Was it a nice brown?"

"Brown is the color of poop!" Phillip laughed, leaning against John. "Then, Mrs. Adrienne read us the book I brought. She said she's gonna keep it to read to the class, and then give it back. I'm really excited. It's a story that Alex bought me."

"Is this Alex?" John asked, pointed to the extra person in the group of papers he was still holding. The drawing was stick figures, but it was very obviously that it was John, and Phillip, and then most likely Alex.

Phillip nodded. "Mrs. Adrienne told us to draw our family, so I drew us and Alex's fish."

"What's in his hand?" John asked, pointing to the purple stick with yellow dots coming out of the end of it.

"That's his magic wand because he's a wizard," Phillip stated.

"Oh?" John laughed. "Why's that?"

"Because he hypnotizes people into letting him buy a bunch of stuff," Phillip answered simply.

John just chuckled, listening to Phillip took for the rest of the way home. When they got there, John waved to Alex, hung up the photo of the three of them on the fridge, and then he and Phillip went up to the bathroom for washing. Phillip sat on a phonebook with a towel around his shoulders and John got to work washing his hair. It took about fifteen minutes to shampoo and then rinse, then John rubbed in conditioner and sectioned Phillip's hair, detangling it while playing music so Phillip wouldn't get bored. John had thankfully always been really good at brushing hair, thanks to his two sisters, so there were a few times he brought cries of pain from Phillip, which were met with apologies and a bit gentler approach. When they were done with that, they rinsed the conditioner out and then put in some deep conditioner. They watched an episode of Pinky And The Brain, then rinsed that out. John then put in some leave-in conditioner, as well as coconut oil on the tips of Phillip's hair so his ends wouldn’t split, and then John styled it a bit, parting it and pushing it back so it wouldn’t fall in Phillip's face for the next week.

"We did it!" John cheered, high fiving Phillip. "Do you feel better?"

Phillip nodded. "Why does it take so long to wash my hair?"

"Well," John began. "You have all these beautiful curls Phillip." John ran his hand over Phillip's soft hair. "They require a little extra care, but only because curly hair like yours is the most beautiful hair in the world."

Phillip smiled and touched his hair. "It's soft. It's a good texture"

John kissed Phillip's forehead. "It's very soft. Come on, let's get some dinner in you. Are you hungry buddy? I was gonna make some veggies and noodles with some peanut sauce, does that sound good?"

"Yeah!" Phillip cheered. "Can we have ice cream afterwards?"

"We don't have any right now, hon, and it's a school night, and remember? Beverly is coming over. We have rice krispie treats in the kitchen." John picked Phillip up and carried him on his hip down to the kitchen. Alex was in the living room, watching the news, and John informed him that dinner would be ready in twenty minutes. John set Phillip down at the counter with the iPad, then quickly cut up vegetables. About ten minutes before dinner was ready, Sally dropped off Beverly with an overnight bag, kissing John's cheek and getting back into Peggy's car.

Dinner went by nicely, the four of them watching a kids movie, eating rice krispie treats, and then John setting Beverly up in Phillip's room. Truthfully, John knew he had plenty of years until he actually had to worry about Phillip sleeping in the same room as another person his age alone, but John didn't want to think about that. Phillip was only five, and so was Beverly. John had to quickly tie both Beverly and Phillip's hair up, since they were both biracial, with dominant black genes.

"Man, I'm beat," John chuckled, helping Alex clean up the living room. "I'm so glad I didn't get twins. That would've, been a mess. I couldn't have done that, I don't think."

Alex chuckled. "Hey, uh, I was actually, like, I dunno, can I go out on a limb here real quick? Just, be bold for a second?"

John nodeed, tossing the rest of the rice krispie rappers into a plastic bag he had brought up for trash. "Sure, be my guest."

Alex sighed, smiling. "Uh, would you maybe like to go get dinner together some time? Like, just the two of us?"

John stopped, then looked over at Alex. You don't want to go into anything without knowing if you want to or not. Maria's words rang through his head as he stared at the older man. He was trying to think of some words to say, something to say, some way to explain to Alex that he didn't know if he wanted to yet. He couldn't just say 'hey, uh, could you give me a few more days to decide? I haven't really figured out whether I want you to ride my dick and commit yet.' John's mind raced rapidly, and meer seconds seemed to drag on for years. Finally, though, John took a deep breath. "Look, I'm flattered, really, but I just-"

Alex cut him off. "Ah, yeah."

"I'm just not really ready to jump into anything yet, and I'm still figuring a few things out, and I'm just kinda confused and you're a little confusing and I just, I need to think about stuff and my friend Maria told me not to jump into anything if I'm not one hundred percent sure and I'm not one hundred percent sure right now, and I'm sorry, I just, I need to think about it, yeah?" John finished his rambling, looking back up at Alex.

Alex just nodded. "Yeah, I get that. Figure it out, do your thing. I'm still here either way."

John smiled, almost pitifully, at Alex. "Thank you for understanding."

A nod came from the older man. He glanced around the now clean living room. "Alright, well, I'm gonna head to sleep. Night John."

"Night, Alex," John replied slowly. John waited in the living room a few seconds, then let his head drop at the sound of Alex's door shutting. He ran a hand through his wavy hair, groaning under his breath. "God, I'm fucking stupid."


	7. Never trust white men with philosophy majors and tweed jackets

"I pulled the 'I'm flattered' card, Herc!" John groaned. "And he sounded so sad when I did he was like 'ah, yeah' and I didn't know how to explain to him that I need some time to think about it! Oh, God, and I had sucked his dick earlier that day too! I'm such a fucking mess."

"No, John, you're not a mess," Herc assured his younger friend, offering a pat on the shoulder. "Feelings are difficult."

John sighed, looking around the little cafe, a couple of days after his fornication with Alex. He and Herc had finally gotten the chance to sit down and talk, and this had been a long time coming; they both had a lot of tea to spill. "I just feel so bad because like, I think I like him, but at the same time, I have to wonder if I'm just lonely. Because when I'm lonely, any man is fucking great. Alex is wonderful, but what if he's not actually that great? At the same time though, what if he is and I'm keeping myself from enjoying him?"

"Well, it's obvious he likes you," Herc observed. "But you make a good point when you bring up the fact that you could just be horny and lonely, craving human affection. So, let's see..." Herc sat and thought for a second. "Maybe you need to go on a date."

"I'm not going to go on a date with Alex and lead him on even more," John huffed, stirring his latte. "The guy deserves a solid answer, and I'm like, the opposite of solid right now."

"Silly goose," Herc giggled, patting John's knee. "I don't mean with Alex. I mean with a different dude. You're really picky with men, like, really picky, so if you really like this guy too, chances are, you're just desperate. But, if you think he's boring and dumb and all the other adjectives you've used to describe dates that didn't go well, then I'd say you actually have a thing for Alex. One of my coworkers has been asking me to set them up with someone, and he's like, twenty-nine, so the age difference isn't a whole freaking decade." Herc laughed and dodged John’s swat to his shoulder. "So you go out with him and see how it goes."

John groaned, leaning against Hercules and sighing. "What would I do without you, Herc? You always know what to do. How do you do that?"

"I'm black," Herc answered simply.

John laughed a bit, nodding in agreement. "Okay, so gimme the dirty details about you and Lafayette. I mean, like, I know y'all did the deed, but we haven't had time to catch up until now, so tell me how it went."

Herc smiled wickedly, rolling his eyes back and tossing his head. "Holy shit, John. First of all, the dude is like, long. No joke, I thought he was gonna break me. Second of all, oh my God. John, okay, okay, so he like, he's good. He's really good. No, okay, so like, I don't think I had ever come so hard in my entire life. He was whispering all these things to me and they sounded so dirty but they were in French so I couldn't figure it out. Oh man, the sex, the sex was great. Then, when we were like, finished, he was so sweet. He held me so close and he sang me little French lullabies, and he kissed me, and God, fuck, he's just amazing."

"Do you love him?" John asked, leaning forward.

Herc smiled, biting his lip. "I think I do."

A happy gasp came from the younger man. "That's coconuts! Does he know?"

Herc shook his head quickly, sipping his caramel frappe. "No, no, I haven't been able to find the courage to say it. Ugh, John, he's great, though. I mean, he's nice to me, nice to my kid, and since he has a really stable job, he probably won't run off and leave me without so much as an explanation, so that's another plus. Oh, man, and he's like, this whole person underneath. Like, John, when I first met him, I thought he was just, like, fucking with me, but one night, he was over at my place so we could hang out with William, because I want William to like him, and Lafayette was spending the night because he wanted to and I wanted him to. I'm rambling, I know, anyway, we were lying in bed facing each other and he was just sort of holding my hand and pressing his forehead to mine, and then I asked him if he liked me-"

"Herc!" John laughed. "Why on earth would you do that? It's obvious the dude likes you!"

"I have abandonment issues, Johnathan," Herc shot back quickly. "Anyway, I asked him, and he kissed me so deeply and he said 'you do not even know the unalterable affections of your dearest Lafayette.' John, oh my God, why is he so romantic and perfect? I want him to like, eat my ass and then marry me."

John poked Herc's side teasingly. "Sounds like someone has got a crush. Do you guys share, like, similar interests?"

Herc nodded quickly. "He's really into the aesthetic part of fashion, so he loves hearing me talk about the mathematical and scientific side. He's really great to model stuff on, and he'll always give me a second opinion, which is really helpful. He can cook really fancy French foods, and German foods, and oh my God, John, okay, so he used to be a French citizen, but now he's American, and his grandmother -who he was raised by- was Nigerian, and she taught Lafayette how to make the best Nigerian food I've ever eaten. I mean, besides my baba's, but still. You know my parents were Nigerian immigrants, and it's so amazing to eat that kind of food again. God, I really gotta call them and get them up here."

"You know I love Uwa Mulligan. Maybe I can get her to braid Phillip's hair. You think she would?" John joked, smiling.

"If you care about your child, you won't let my Uwa braid his hair. There's a reason mine is so short now." Herc ran his hand over his hair. "Don't get me wrong, she's killer. She can braid hair like a goddess. It just hurts like a bitch for days afterward. Do you need help with Pip's hair though? I mean, I haven’t ever braided anyone's hair before, but I can give advice."

John shrugged. "I'm just going with Phillip's flow, right now. If he wants to get it braided or dreaded, we'll cross that bridge, but between wash day and just, like, daily care, he's pretty okay with it. Man, I don't know how you deal with William's hair."

Herc chuckled. "I learned from my Uwa and Baba. I got this. Hey, you know your friend, Thomas? The one who was at the barbecue?"

John nodded, resisting the urge to say 'he's not my friend.'

"Well, he's been talking to James, actually," Herc gossiped.

John gasped, leaning forward. "Do fucking tell, Herc."

"Okay, so, you didn't hear it from me, but Thomas contacted James and offered to take care of his medical debt. Like, all of it. And James was like 'you know that's over three hundred thousand dollars' and Thomas said 'I know.' Here's the thing though, James wouldn't let him. He was sort of like, 'no, fuck you, you're the reason I can't pay for anything in the first place.' Anyway, Thomas is trying to make it up to James, talking big and shit, but James is getting really sick of it, you know? So, that's where they are right now."

"I'm gonna text Alex and ask him to tell Thomas to leave James alone," John muttered, pulling out his phone and texting the older man.

Meanwhile, on the other side of New York, Alex was having a very similar gossip session with Thomas and Lafayette. The three of them were close friends, despite any political disagreements, so often, when work was slow, they found themselves holed up in one of their offices. Currently, Alex was lying on the floor of Lafayette's office, while Thomas basked himself over the fancy couch and Laf spun around in his rolling chair.

"He did say he was flattered," Alex admitted. "And, even better, he didn't say no. He said he'd think about it, and even better, he said I was confusing, which probably means the guy had been thinking about me." The immigrant paused, thinking, then sighed. "Or he's just trying not to hurt my feelings. I dunno. Laf, Thomas, and I kidding myself here?"

"Yes," Thomas answered, snorting.

"Ignore him," Lafayette rolled his eyes. "He's just pissy because he's affections are not currently being reciprocated. John didn't say no, and he did say he'd think about it, so I'd let him do just that. Johnathan, he is very smart, oui? But you must remember, he is only a child, himself. Twenty-five is a difficult age. You of all people should know that, Alexander. John needs time, and time is what you will give him. Hercules says he has been talking about you, so I think you should not worry Cheri. Allow him to deliberate."

Alex ran his hands over his face. "I just think he's great. He's got like, the best face, and he's so sweet, and holy fuck, he's got a great dick. I mean, damn." Alex sighed. "Anyway. Laf, how are you and Herc?"

Lafayette smiled happily. "Herc and I are wonderful. He is incredibly sweet, and simply perfect. I could listen to him talk for hours. Oh! My favorite thing is when he comes home, covered in clay or paint and he doesn't even know, he's just covered in all these colors, and he gets so flustered when I point it out. Oh, and he speaks Hausa in his sleep, and his parents were Nigerian immigrants, just like my grand-mere. I'm so very in love with him. I wish I never had to leave his bed."

"That's gay," Thomas smirked.

"Enough with your moist duvet attitude-"

Thomas cut Lafayette off. "It's wet blanket, Laf."

"Hey, Thomas, can you read us the entirety of Romeo and Juliet in French without making any mistakes?" Alex retorted, looking over at the man on the couch. He was greeted with silence, Thomas disliking defeat. Alex just snorted, staring back at the ceiling. "That's what I thought. When you've mastered French, then you can criticize Laf's English. Until then, leave you moist duvet attitude out of this office."

"Isn't it wet blanket?" Lafayette muttered, confused.

"It is," Alex nodded. "But I like moist duvet a lot better. If it makes you feel better, I forgot the word for melatonin the other day. In front of Washington, John, Washington's kids, John's kid, and John's boss."

"Hercules understands English being a second language," Lafayette sighed. "He gets frustrated as I do, and sometimes we both forget the word for certain things, and we just yell the word in our own languages and google it to finally get the right answer. We both forgot the word for peanut." Lafayette laughed a bit. "It was ridiculous, two grown men yelling in different languages at a peanut until finally we asked William and he told us."

Alex snorted. "When I forget words, I just don't use them. Like, when I drop things. Usually, once it hits the floor, I don't need it anymore. It's why my house is littered with pens."

Thomas laughed. "I remember slipping on one and pulling out my fucking back. God, when did we get so old?"

Alex shrugged, sighing. "I don't know. I'm literally the youngest out of both of you, so fight me. I am a hipster, with my saggy pants and my juul pods and hentai. Later skaters, I'm off to the Starbucks."

Thomas tossed his head back with laughter. "You're a fucking idiot, Alex."

Alex just nodded, chuckling. "I don't think I could ever relive my twenties. Worst ten years of my life. I don't know how John is doing it." Alex jumped at the feeling of his phone buzzing, rolling on his side a bit to pull it out of his pocket. He saw he had a text message from John, so he unlocked his phone and read it over, sniggerin. "Yo, Thomas, you should probably leave James alone. The guy is getting sick of it."

"How do you know that?" Thomas asked, looking up.

Alex held up his phone. "John just texted me, telling me that James was getting annoyed with your try hard tactics." Alex read over another message. "You sent the guy flowers?"

"I'm trying to apologize!" Thomas defended. "I mean, I just, I didn't know how much that bill would actually affect people. Now it's going to no use, just piling up in a bank account. Can't you like, embezzle funds or something Alex, send out those checks?"

"Hmph, no," Alex mumbled, not yet looking up from his phone. "Look, maybe if you really want to apologize, you work to get the bill up and running again. All the roses in the world aren't gonna make up for the fact that the guy can't pay for rent or medications anymore. Laf and I have a rough draft of a defense, and if you really want to help-"

"I do," Thomas whined.

"Then help," Alex said, finally lifting his eyes from his phone’s keypad. "Don't just kvetch about it. John would be homeless right now if we had never met. James, James could be dead, Herc could be homeless too, not to mention the woman that Peggy’s pursuing, Sally. You, you need to learn that your actions have consequences, Thomas. Consequences that don't just affect you." Alex paused, sighing. "You know I love you, man. I'd take a bullet for you. But this, this whole voting against the bill, getting other people to vote against it, it was a real dick move. You forget how appalled Jay would be."

"Don't bring him into this," Thomas snapped.

Alex just sighed, thinking. "If you really want to help, then convince some people to put their support behind this. People are mostly just pissed off that the money that was supposed to be going to their paychecks is now just piled up somewhere. They're not gonna listen to me, and they aren't listening to Lafayette. You are the only voice of reason on your side. Get them to at least mull this over. Yeah?"

Thomas nodded. "Yeah, I will."

Alex paused, thinking. "Do you like James? You never apologize to anyone, much less send them flowers."

Thomas didn't speak for a second, mulling over whether to make this confession, then deciding he could tell them, he’d known them for to long to have secrets. "I mean, like, I guess. I dunno. He's a poet. I googled him just to see if I could find any social media, and I actually found the poetry that he does. He's really good. Uh, no, he writes some really good stuff."

"You googled him?" Lafayette giggled. "Mon ami, that's some stalker-like behavior."

"Alex googled John," Thomas pointed out.

"Found a lot of dance stuff, and a few whispers of a school musical," Alex chuckled. "Fuck, my leg is killing me. It's like I'm back in Iraq, right now."

"Did you take your meds?" Thomas asked, sitting up.

Alex nodded. "Yeah, but my cane's at home, which sucks. I have one in my work closet, but I don't really want to have to use it. I think I'll just lie here for the next seven hours."

Lafayette tsked, tossing a bottle of painkillers to Alex. "Take em."

"I don't work that way, buddy," Alex chuckled, tossing the pills back. "Me taking pills is quite an ordeal, and I don't feel like going through all that right now. I think I need to get my leg adjusted again. I've been up more, since I've been watching Phillip, and my leg is not doing well. I think I'll try to make an appointment for tomorrow morning, just get it over with."

"Will you need a ride, since he sometimes gives you drugs or whatever?" Thomas offered.

Alex shook his head. "No, no, I'll be fine."

"Alright, good," Lafayette chuckled.

That Thursday night slid by pleasantly, Alex taking more painkillers and hobbling around the house with his cane, making an appointment with his doctor. Friday morning arrived, and Alex's whole body was practically shaking with pain. He took a couple extra of his prescription painkillers, then braced himself for the trip to the doctor’s office. When he got to the doctor, they hooked him up to some morphine, got his leg adjusted and fixed up a bit, and then offered him some stronger painkillers for the next few days. Alex nodded, heading into work for the day, still using his cane.

John, on the other hand, was a quite preoccupied, thinking about the blind-date he was going on. Herc made sure the mystery guy knew that John was just going to wear some jeans and a tee shirt. Still, John was stressing a little bit, not wanting to tell Alex about the date, worried that it’d go too well and John would realize that his feelings for Alex were a sham. John had asked Alex to watch Phillip, playing it off as a night out with a few friends, rather than a date. Alex agreed, glad that John got to go out now that Phillip could stay home safely. John was grateful for that, asking Herc to make sure Lafayette knew not to tell Alex. It wouldn't’ve been right to ask Herc to keep a secret from Lafayette.

John fluffed up his hair one last time in the mirror, running his hand over the bit of hair on his upper lip that he had been growing for the past week. John had never been good at growing facial hair, but the little wisps on his upper lip and chin complemented his face nicely. Finally, John decided he was ready, so he made sure Phillip was settled with dinner and a movie, then poked his head into Alex's office to say goodbye.

"Hey, I..." John trailed off as Alex looked at him. Messy chestnut hair framed Alex's face, and black reading glasses rested on Alex's nose. The older man's wide eyes stared back at John, and his work shirt was unbuttoned a few buttons, showing off Alex's collar bones. John was almost tempted to cancel the date and spend the night with Alex pinned between him and the wall. The man looked absolutely stunning.

"Yes?" Alex prompted, cracking a gentle smile at John.

"I'm just-" John shook his head, taking a deep breath. "I'm heading out. Phillip is sitting in front of the TV with dinner. He's already brushed his teeth for the night, and he's in his pajamas, so you just have to read him a book or something. If you're lucky, though, he'll pass out in front of the TV. I'll be back soon, ‘kay?"

Alex nodded, his eyes glued, once again, to his computer monitor. "Have fun."

John, feeling some parental sense take over, looked Alex up and down. "You, you get into your pajamas. Get yourself a drink of water, and some food."

Alex waved his hand. "Go, have fun. I'll see you soon."

John nodded, walking outside to catch the Uber that was taking him to the restaurant. John really needed to just start using the subway, because he was spending more on Uber than he did on anything else. Besides, he was New Yorker enough to use the subway. Uber's offered a bit of safety and privacy, but John didn't need that.

John arrived at the restaurant he and his date agreed to meet at. They had texted back and forth a couple of times, agreeing to meet at some Italian place. John had seen a picture of the guy he was meeting. Not unattractive at all, but something irked John. Not in a 'this guy might be a murderer' way, more like a 'this is a white male who majored in philosophy' way. Something about white men who were English or Philosophy majors, made John feel like he was being attacked. Plus, the guy seemed to have a thing for black turtlenecks and tweed jackets. One thing his high school dance teacher used to tell him was to never discuss your art form with white men in turtlenecks, because they will make you believe it is not art.

John sat outside the restaurant for a few minutes, waiting, until finally, the man arrived. His name was Eric, and he had stubble and straight blonde hair. John smiled, standing up and shaking his hand before the two of them walked inside. The vibes this guy gave off were odd. The way he walked, he seemed to believe he owned everything.

"So, Eric, what do you do for work?" John asked as they sat down.

Eric laughed. "I'm an AP philosophy teacher. And you?"

"I'm a dance teacher," John informed him, not really in the mood to say 'and a bartender, and I'm looking for a third job if you know anything.'

Eric did the eyebrow raise John had gotten so accustomed to after telling people he was a dance teacher. "What kind of dance?"

"I teacher contemporary ballet for ages twelve to eighteen," John elaborated.

"Yes, well, dance is a nice hobby," Eric chuckled.

John bit the inside of his mouth. “Actually, a lot of my students and other teachers students have gone on to dancing as a career. A few students who went to the dance school I work at are dancing in Broadway musicals."

"Hm," Eric murmured, obviously not very interested. "What did you study in college for?"

"I had a full ride scholarship for dance," John told him, wondering if he should reveal why he dropped out. "I, uh, I dropped out after the second year, since some stuff came up, but I loved school."

Eric nodded and looked around for a second. "Where's the damned waiter?"

"Well," John eased. "It looks like a busy night; they may be short staffed."

"The customer should be their first priority," Eric said, leaning back and gazing at John.

John, who had been a waiter before, just sighed. Five minutes into the date and John was ready to go home. He wished he had stayed with Alex. John wondered what would've happened if he had walked into Alex's office, leaned against Alex's desk, and gathered the man into a kiss. If Alex had kissed back, and their hands went to places they shouldn't be. John wanted that instead of this.

"I'm sorry for the wait, we seem to be short staffed, may I get your drink order?" A waiter asked coming up to them.

"Oh, don't worry about it," John cut in quickly, smiling at the waiter, hoping to take away some of the apparent stress. "I'll have a strawberry daiquiri, but go light on the rum, please."

"Of course," the waiter smiled, writing that down. "Would you like us to give you half the usual amount?"

John nodded. "That sounds great, thank you."

"And what can I get for you, sir?" The waiter continued, looking to Eric.

"I'll have a jack on the rocks. Make it quick," Eric snapped.

John threw an apologetic look to the waiter. He received a slight shrug as if to say, 'it happens all the time,' as the waiter walked away. The rest of the date didn't go much better. John didn't really have an appetite, though he’d barely eaten all day, so he ordered some salad and soup. Eric's attitude towards waitstaff made John almost nauseous. John could stomach lettuce, bored out of his mind as he listened to Eric talk about 'the flaws of the female brain.'

"Did you enjoy your meal?" The waiter asked, coming back to take their empty plates.

"The meat wasn't very well done," Eric complained.

"Well, that's not the waiter's fault," John defended, pulling out his wallet. He placed his card on the check, as well as a twenty dollar bill for a tip. The waiter walked away and John looks to Eric. "Have you ever worked in the food industry?"

"Of course not," Eric laughed.

John nodded, tossing his hands up. "There we go. Okay, as someone who had worked in the food industry for a huge portion of my life, you should know that generally, the waiter does not try to mess up your order, or take too long, or make mistakes. Most of these people live solely on tips, so they want tips. You need to understand that just because you were born and raised in an upper-class family, doesn't mean everyone else was. I would be homeless right now if it weren't for my friend, and your holier-than-thou attitude is not attractive." The waiter handed John his credit card and John stood up. "The meal was wonderful, but if you'll excuse me, I have a son waiting for me."

John walked out of the restaurant, making his way into a subway station, hopping over the turnstile, and getting on a train. Anger bubbled in his chest a bit, but he was glad he hadn’t made any commitment to the guy.

"Well, I'm not just horny and lonely," John muttered to himself. "Alexander Hamilton, I pray that dinner is still an option, because if not, I just went on a horrible date for nothing."

The subway arrived at John's stop, and he got off, walking a couple blocks to Alex's house. John was wasted. Negative human interactions totally exhausted him. So, John got inside, slipped off his shoes, and happily collapsed next to Alex on the couch, looking up to see some French noir movie playing on the screen.

"What are we watching?" John asked softly.

"Une Aussi Longue Absence," Alex answered. "It's about a woman looking for her missing husband."

"Oh, my favorite," John chimed.

Alex looked over, smiling. "Really?"

A snort came from the younger man. "Alex, I don't speak French. I've never seen this movie in my life."

Alex laughed, turning down the film a bit. "Phillip is in bed. I read him some poetry by Shel Silverstein, and then a Dr. Seuss book, and then he fell asleep. How was your night out? Anything fun happen?"

"Well, I actually went on a date," John answered.

"Oh," Alex said plainly. "I thought you weren't ready to jump into anything or something."

John scoffed. "The date was awful, and it was more of a test, anyway. I just needed to figure something out, and I did."

"What'd you figure out?" Alex mumbled nervously.

John shrugged. "Sometimes, when I get lonely, I attach myself to the first guy I see, whether he's decent or not. I was trying to figure out if I was doing that with you, or if I actually liked you. If the date had gone wonderfully, then I probably would've just been lonely. The date went awfully though, and I hated it."

Alex paused, sucking in a breath of air. "What does that mean?"

"I dunno, Alex, what does it mean?" John raising his eyebrows childishly, grinning as he stood up. "Anyway, I'm gonna go to bed. I'm really tired. Tomorrow is my day off though, so I can sleep in. Night, ‘Lex. Talk to you tomorrow."

Alex almost jumped at the nickname. His ex-wife's sister used to call him that. He hadn't seen her in a while since she was a lawyer. She was Alex's go-to, but since he wasn’t in legal trouble, she was on other cases. She worked with mainly black clients, making sure they got a fair prison sentence if they even needed it. Racism in the legal system was rampant, and Angelica seriously fought against it tooth and nail. Whenever she was in town, it always lead to a hot and heavy session of hooking up, and then she'd leave again.

"Does this mean he likes me?" Alex asked no one in particular. "God damn, John Laurens, you are one confusing mother fucker. I'm not gonna be able to sleep without an answer." Alex ran upstairs, just catching John as he was walking out of the bathroom and to his room. Alex grabbed his arm, getting the younger man's attention.

"I don't like games, John. I don't like being confused, and I don't like dancing around feelings. I fucked up really badly by trying that once, and I'm not gonna do it again. You have to tell me, right here, right now, do you have feelings for me? Romantic feelings?"

"Yes," John answered honestly, offering a small nod.

Even though John had hinted at it, Alex was still shocked by the answer. He stepped back a bit, then smiled. "Okay. Cool. That works out."

John laughed a bit. "Yeah, it does."

Alex paused, then yawned. "Alright, that's all I wanted to ask for now. Uh, you rest up. Get some good sleep. I ain't got nothing going on tomorrow except some business forms I gotta fill out, so I'll be around in case you and Pip want a ride anywhere."

John nodded. "Cool." He paused for a second, then leaned in and kissed Alex's cheek. "Good night, Alex. Let's talk more tomorrow, yeah?"

Alex blinked. "Alright. Goodnight."

John smiled and entered his room, leaving Alex standing there in the hall. Alex shuffled back down to the living room, turning off his movie and then going to the kitchen, crushing up his Ambien and mixing it in some water. He didn’t take it though, hoping to finish the rundown of a meeting Washington missed on Thursday. Whenever the man couldn't attend meetings, it was Alex’s job to take vigorous notes, then produce a brief outline of what had happened.

Alex groaned, sighing a bit as he sat down on his bed and stared at his computer screen. He was translating the notes he had taken in Spanish into English, since English was the only language Washington spoke. Alex had gone through long periods of time where he’d hardly slept, and those periods usually ended with him forgetting how to speak English, and Lafayette having to lull him to sleep in French. Some days, Alex just wanted to pack up and move to France, or some Spanish speaking country. Ecuador, Puerto Rico, and Costa Rica had always been enticing to Alex. He lived in Nevis for a lot of his childhood, until he was thirteen, and had visited Puerto Rico a couple times, mostly after he’d been put in the system. Puerto Rico was always so wonderful, and the people there were so sweet. Alex wished that he could go back, but he could never seem to find the time.

Alex tossed his laptop away, pulling out his phone and Bluetooth earbuds, opening a private tab in Safari and searching up Pornhub. Alex's hands drifted to his pants while he waited, his fingers gently curling through a tuft of pubic hair. At the slight stimulation, his cock perked up, blood rushing to the space between his hips. Alex sighed, scrolling through endless videos, not really caring what he watched. He eventually clicked on some creampie titty fuck thing, something he had watched a couple times before and found pretty satisfying.

Alex clicked play, listening to the sound through his headphones and watching, waiting for more of a pressure to build up before he actually began to touch himself. Thirty seconds went by, and Alex found himself almost bored. It wasn't working this time. He scrolled through a few other videos, and still found himself unaroused. Alex groaned, throwing down his phone and closing his eyes. Slowly, despite his best efforts, his mind drifted to the man in the room next to him.

Alex's mouth fell open as he pictured John in all his glory, straddling Alex. Alex got harder as he remembered how slutty and sultry John had looked when he sucked Alex's dick. Images of John flashed through Alex's mind, and he had to remind himself to be totally silent as he pushed down his jeans. Alex's hand gripped his cock, not wanting to drag this out. The image of sweat dripping down John's freckled skin as he thrust into Alex made the older Carribean have to bite down hard to keep from moaning. Alex's other hand fell to his balls, rubbing them.

Alex hissed and bucked his hips forward, stopping his rapid hand for a moment to focus on his balls, sighing deeply and teasing himself almost. The tip of his cock was an angry flushed pink, and precum dripped down onto his hand. Finally, Alex wrapped his hand back around his cock. Alex's eyes rolled back into his head as he pictured John, choking him, offering a sharp slap to the side of his face, biting down on his neck. What sent Alex over the edge of a jaw-dropping orgasm was thinking about John bending him over on the kitchen counter and fucking him raw.

Alex came down from his high, panting and sighing. He grabbed a dirty tee shirt and wiped himself off, then went back to his work. Alex found that when his attention wavering, a quick session of heated masturbation could put him back on track. Now, Alex was furiously typing away, recalling every detail and writing all down in English. His Ambien water remained stagnant, and Alex's fish, Pepper, watched over Alex as the man began reading over forms, hoping he could get most of it done before the night was up.

"Fuck," Alex said, louder than he meant to as his hand stopped working for a second. Due to some army-related brain damage, it sometimes became difficult for his fine motor skills to function properly. Alex had gone to physical therapy for months on end, regaining the skills of his hands again. This, of course, was after his depressive episode, so he had spent the last ten months cursing himself as bottles slipped from his hands. He was happy to finally be able to hold a pen again. Even now though, Alex's hand would cramp up and stop working.

Alex tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling as tears came to his eyes, trying to move his hand, waiting for it to work again. It took a few minutes, but finally, Alex's hand began to move again, stopped hurting so bad. Alex sighed, dropping a few aspirins into his untouched Ambien water, letting them dissolve as he continued to write. Another hour went by, and soon enough, his clock was blaring a bright red one thirty am.

Sighing, Alex set down his work, got ready for bed, checking out the new adjustments on his leg that the doctor had made, then laid down, downing his Ambien aspirin water and staring up at the glow in the dark stars he had stuck to his ceiling. He liked them. He had done his best to arrange them to the constellations he saw when he lived in Nevis, but of course, that had taken a bit of googling. If Alex was tired enough, and his Ambien was strong enough, he could almost feel like he was back on the beach, staring up at the night sky. The feeling of warm sand against his back, the sound of the ocean, the music gently playing from someone's porch. When Alex was a kid, he used to dance to Spanish music, barefoot with his few friends in the streets. Adults would laugh and talk and drink, lights would be strung up. Kids would play soccer, and dance and scrape up their knees. It wouldn't be until after midnight that Alex would finally be dragged home by his mother.

Alex sighed, rolling onto his side. He hoped his mother was proud of him. He couldn't give a rat’s ass what his dad thought of him. His dad could go fuck himself. But his momma? Alex hoped every day that she was watching over him with a smile on her face. He hoped that if she were alive today, she would tell him she felt pride in knowing that he was her son. Most importantly though, Alex hoped that she loved him, no matter where she was.

Alex closed his eyes and let himself drift off into a deep sleep. He awoke at exactly six the next morning, feeling restless. Alex quickly put on his leg so get could get out of bed, then slipped on some basketball shorts and a tee shirt. He walked quickly through the house, grabbing his earbuds and his phone, then slipping on his running shoes. Alex was out the door after that, running quietly down the streets of New York. He pushed himself, stopping about ten blocks from his house to bend over and place his hands on his knees, breathing heavily. His chest ached and he reminded himself that he wasn't fresh out of ranger school anymore.

Alex jogged slowly the rest of the way to his house, panting as he walked through the door and made his way up to the shower. He hurried to wash off, then got dressed in a pair of casual jeans and a tee shirt, ignoring his hearing aid and tying his hair up in a messy bun. Alex ran his hand carefully over the scars on his cheek, letting his fingers trace the rigid wall of cartilage in his ear where it ended. He barely had the top of his ear, just a centimeter sticking up before pick scar tissue and hard cartilage. Alex kept his hair down most of the time when he was in the public, hating the questions he got. Another reason he never wore shorts in public. Questions about his personal life were something he didn't enjoy.

Alex got downstairs and started the coffee machine. It was only eight, and he didn't expect John or Phillip to get up for another while. Alex picked up the newspaper from the stoop and opened it, laying it over the kitchen table so he could read it and drink from his coffee. He skimmed over sports, looking for the results of the Yankees game the night before, cursing as he realized they had lost. One more loss could knock them out of the series, since October had rolled up on them quite quickly. Alex wasn't a baseball fanatic, but he'd catch a game with a friend when he could, and he always got hyped for the series, if the Yankees were playing. After Alex had read over the sports review, he glanced at the weather, grimacing at the forecast of temperatures dropping into the low fifties. Cold weather had never sat well with him.

"Morning, Alex," Phillip said quietly, coming and pulling himself into a stool. Over the past month and a half about, Alex and Phillip had gotten into a bit of a morning schedule on Saturday. Phillip would come down, Alex would make him some cereal, and then Phillip would color while Alex read. It was nice, just the two of them, sitting there quietly. Alex was very happy Phillip wasn't a crazy kid. Too much ruckus in the morning gave him headaches.

Around nine, John wandered downstairs, kissing Phillip on the head and lightly dragging his fingertips across Alex's back before opening up the fridge and pulling out an unholy amount of leftover pasta with alfredo sauce that he had ordered on Thursday. He hadn't really eaten yesterday, and his stomach was killing him, so he piled the carbs into his bowl and heated it up before sitting down. Alex had never really seen John eat so much, but didn't say anything, just smiled, since he was glad John was finally hungry. The younger man was already skinny; the space between his thighs looking natural at this point.

"So, we got any plans today?" Alex asked, looking up from his newspaper.

"We need to go shopping," John recalled, his mouth a bit full. "But, like, that's really it. I want to take Phillip to the park at some point today, just to get outside. You wanna come? We're not going to leave for a bit, and I know you're busy with work, but if you want to come..."

Alex nodded. "I got a lot of work done last night. I'm running on four hours of sleep and a lot of coffee, so really, I'm at my prime right now. This is me at a hundred percent."

John shook his head, chuckling a bit. "I get that amount almost every night and I hate it. If I don't have a solid ten hours, I'm like, miserable."

Alex snorted. "Man, if I got ten hours, I think my body wouldn't even bother with waking up and I'd just go into a coma or something."

John just smiled, reaching out and brushing Alex's bangs out of his eyes a little bit. "You need a haircut. These things are getting longer."

Alex nodded, snorting a bit. "I didn't have bangs until I lived with Washington for a little while. He, uh, he can cut hair, really well." Alex paused, listening to John's quiet chuckles. "You laugh, but he is actually really good at it. I hadn't gotten a haircut in a while, so he just, he did it for me. My hair had grown out after the army. It was almost at my shoulders at that point, so Washington, cut and styled it, made it look pretty similar to this. I was a little pissy at first, but then I realized I do kinda like it, so that's how it's been. You're right, though, it is getting long. I had it really long when I was living in Nevis, and I'm trying to get it back to that, but it's taking longer than expected, especially since I had to get a good five inches cut off at one point thanks to a cigarette and a really good joke."

"Oh man," John laughed. "No, you do have really nice hair. Nothing like Phillip's over here, but still nice."

Phillip beamed at the compliment, looking up from his coloring. "My hair is big."

"Yes it is, buddy," John smiled. "Hey, how do you want it today? You want papa to put it up or would you like it left down?"

"Can you braid it, papa?" Phillip requested sweetly.

John nodded. "Of course, hun." John got up and put his now empty bowl in the sink, then washed his hands before standing behind Phillip and carefully pulling his curly hair into two thick cornrows. Two braids were the most John could ever do; any more and his fingers would begin to cramp up. "Pip, honey, are you still hungry or did you get enough?"

"I got enough," Phillip answered. "Can we play planes together?"

John smiled, kissing the top of Phillip's head. "Yes, of course, we can. Just let me finish your hair, and then we can play."

"Yes!" Phillip cheered. John finished Phillip's hair, then quickly gelled down his edges before the two of them went upstairs and played. Phillip was bounding around the room, jumping off his bed like a rocket. John could barely keep up, but was happy to run around the house and dramatically die whenever Phillip's fighter jet shot him. It was really hard to stay out of shape with a kid like Phillip, and since Phillip was a curious little guy, John oftentimes had to run around the park to find him. It never took long, though.

John often times saw smile traits in Phillip that reminded him of autistic kids he knew when he was younger. Phillip was quiet, more often than not, and sometimes didn't want to talk at all, or responded with more physical signs than verbal. It had progressed from the time that Phillip was young, and John could tell Phillip was becoming more particular with certain things, such as textures, noises, things like that.

After planes, John and Phillip sat down and watched cartoons together, John looking over a few financial things while he did, figuring out what he could pay off. He was happy to discover that he could finally pay for the textbooks he’d bought almost eight years ago and never read. After that good news, John put the files away and watched cartoons with Phillip, coloring with him as well. John absolutely adored the quality time he spent with Phillip and tried to find time for it as often as he could, since his mother spent a lot of time with John before she passed. After she died, John was used to having no parent there for him. His father was too wrapped up in his sibling's issues, as well as work, and when Martha had her accident, it was all over for John.

John never resented his siblings for that, though. In fact, he loved them very much. Of course, they were all still siblings, and lots of jokes and fun teasing came into the picture, but at the end of the day, John would’ve taken a bullet for all of them. Since his father wasn't really the lovey-dovey type, John often played house with them. He was the loving mother that they never got a chance to experience, and they were his practice for becoming a parent. John had to admit, raising Phillip was a lot easier because he had helped raise four babies too. Phillip was a lot easier too, and without his father breathing down his neck, parenting was a bit more relaxed. Well, as relaxed as raising a child could be.

"Alright, bud," John announced around noon. "Let's get some lunch in you, and then we can go to the park. How does that sound?"

"It sounds cool," Phillip nodded, running the plane over the palm of his hand.

John smiled, picking Phillip up and carrying him downstairs. John made a sandwich for Phillip, then made one for Alex as well, who had been in his office all day, working. John kissed Phillip on the side of the head, then jogged upstairs with Alex's plate. When John got to Alex's office, he stopped for a second, leaning against the doorway and watching the man work. Alex was mumbling something, and then as John got closer, he realized, Alex was singing. John smiled, listening closer.

"Por tierra o por agua, identidad falsa. Brincamos muros o flomatos en balsas. La pelemos como Sandino en nicaragua. Somos como las planta que crecen sin agua," he sang softly. His voice wasn't perfect, but it was raw. His little mumbles were quiet and he wrote feverishly. John was surprised that he could sing one thing and write another, but Alex's brain had always been able to do that.

"Hey," John interrupted.

Alex jumped, turning around quickly, but calmed at the sight of John. "Jesus, you scared me." Alex placed his hand over his chest, breathing heavily. "Are we leaving already?"

John shook his head, grinning. "No, no, I just brought you some food. We're gonna leave in like, half an hour. I know your leg bothers you sometimes, but we're just going to central park, will that be okay?"

"Yeah, it's not bothering me so much today, and I've taken my meds, so I'm all good," Alex answered as John set the plate down on his desk. "Thank you, for the food. Really, you're the first person to have cooked for me in, well, years, really. I really appreciate it."

John smiled, looking down a bit. "It's really no bother. I like taking care of other people. Also, uh, I noticed you didn't really seem to have gotten breakfast, and I just wanted to make sure you didn't get hungry or anything."

Alex leaned back in his chair, looking up at John. "You know, you're really pretty. You got like, nice eyes and like, pretty hair. It looks soft."

John chuckled, feeling his cheeks heat up. He pushed Alex's bangs away from his face again since they really did need to be cut. "Will thirty minutes be enough time?"

Alex nodded, looking around a bit and pushing up his reading glasses. "Yeah. I seriously need a break. It feels like work has been all I've been doing. Plus, it's always nice when I spend time with you and Pip. You two make me feel young again."

John smiled, shrugging. "Good. Anyway, I gotta get some food for me. I'll give you a five-minute warning, just in case."

"Thanks," Alex mumbled, looking back down at the paper. It was the education budget for next year. Washington had heard about Governor Dunleavy up in Alaska trying to claw back about twenty million dollars that were supposed to go to education, and instantly wanted to show his state that he was better than that. Alex loved that Washington was prioritizing that, but their education leader had never stepped foot in a school after graduation, so Alex managed the budget, and Peggy stepped in to manage which subjects the money went to. It was a lot of work though, and numbers pounded through Alex's head as he searched for cuts he could make. Nothing from food stamps and shelter to homeless citizens, and he didn't want to take anything from hospitals. If they raised taxes, there may as well be a riot, but it would certainly give a nice boost to education and hospitals. Alex could practically hear Jay chanting about socialism. On the occasional nights the two of them got drunk together, Jay would march around, chanting about eating the rich. Those were the days when Alex could drink and be just fine. He couldn’t do that anymore.

Alex stopped drinking at twenty-nine. From ages twenty-eight to twenty-nine, that's all he’d done. When Alex left the army, a whole lot of things he didn't want to deal with came crashing down on him like a tidal wave. Everything with Eliza, his injury, the PTSD, the death of his friend, the death of people closer. Alex couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle the stagnant divorce papers sitting on the kitchen table of the small apartment he had moved into. He couldn't handle the two headstones that were begging to be visited. The haunting box full of a dead person's belongings. So, he started drinking. He drank, and he drank, and he drank, and he drank. He didn’t have a job, living off of financial aid for veterans. He lost half of his body weight, he barely took care of himself, and he pushed away the people who mattered most. He was angry at them. He was angry at everyone. Finally, Washington showed up to his door and told him he needed to clean up and go to rehab, or he and Thomas were gone. They couldn't just sit there and watch Alex kill himself.

Washington caught him at just the right moment of drunk, because Alex broke down. The Major stepped into his apartment, holding Alex close and letting him cry. The next day, Washington drove Alex to a rehab center, and that's where Alex stayed for three months. When Alex got out, he moved in with Washington. Since his major was alone in the nice house he had acquired, Alex's company wasn’t a burden at all. When Washington noticed Alex's interest in politics, he suggested running for something, like Thomas. The three of them took New York politics by storm. Every now and then, Alex would wake up, hands shaking, searching for a bottle of Jack Daniels, which had always been his go-to.

"Alright, five minutes!" John called from downstairs, breaking Alex out of his trance. Alex stood up, walking into the bathroom and quickly tying up his hair. He made sure his hearing aid was in place and adjusted, since he probably did need it. Alex sighed, bending over the sink and looking into the mirror. He’d always thought it comical that kids shaved a stripe into their eyebrows. He had one already, thanks to some intricate scarring.

Alex came downstairs, smiling as he watched John put some water bottles and granola bars and fruit snacks in a small shoulder bag. John smiled up at Alex, picking up Phillip and leading the three of them outside. The walk was short, only ten minutes, and soon enough, they’d arrived at Diana Ross park, John setting Phillip down and sitting on a bench, patting the space next to him for Alex to sit.

"I used to go to a preschool that had an all wooden park like this one," John mentioned, looking as Phillip joined in some kickball game with two other kids. "It was, it was fun. All the older fifth and sixth graders would come and hang out and play with us. They, when we would get in trouble, the teachers would put us in a bucket, and I once watched some kid roll out the door in the bucket. I ain't snitchin'. Snitches get stitches, and I knew that from the womb."

"Damn John," Alex snorted, glancing over at Phillip. "What was South Carolina like?"

John shrugged. "It was hot, and it was slow. It's why I danced so much all through my childhood. I think the only thing I actually enjoyed besides that was spending time with my siblings. My parents were, they were nice until I was like, eight, then my younger sister, Martha, was born. I guess they did have kind, like, neglect me, but she was just a baby. Then my brother Henry when I was ten, my brother Jemmy when I was twelve, and my sister Mary when I was fourteen. That was the birth that killed my mom, so my dad was pretty wrapped in my siblings and their issues." John looked over and smiled at Phillip.

"What issues did your siblings have?" Alex asked.

John rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, my sister Martha was paralyzed in a car accident when she was five. My brother Henry was deaf. Like, he was born like that. My brother Jemmy, when he was six, he climbed up a tree and he fell and he got some serious brain damage. Then, my sister Mary, she has down syndrome. I love them all so much." John looked and found Phillip with his eyes. "They all have these amazing quirks and they're so fun. Even though Martha was way younger than me, she was super great. Henry is super funny, Jemmy is really calming to hang out around, and he's seriously, like, an amazing artist. Whenever Martha and I get a chance to talk, she always has some news about an award Jemmy got, and she'll send me pictures of his art. He's, god, he's amazing. Mary, I, uh, it's hard for me to know Mary. I last saw her when she was five, and she was as sweet as ever. I do get chances to talk to her, though. All my siblings, they're, they're great. I'm serious." John laughed. "I mean, they're pains in the ass, but that's just because they're my siblings. No, despite our dad being kinda iffy, we all love each other a lot."

"What do you mean when you say your dad is iffy?" Alex questioned.

John just shrugged. "He lost his wife, his kids are fucked up. He's just, he doesn't know how to deal. I mean, he did take care of my siblings, and he made sure I was still alive. I don't blame him for focusing more on them. I was the only able-bodied kid in the house, of course, I'm gonna get the short end of the stick. I'm just glad my siblings are okay."

Alex smiled, carefully placing his hand on the bench between them, hoping John would take a hint. "You're nice, John."

John, who got Alex's hint and raised him one, stretched his arms up and placed one around Alex, letting his hand rest on Alex's shoulder as he found Phillip, playing with a few kids. "I hope so. You know, I don't think I've felt this relaxed in a long time. I started that bar job when I left my last boyfriend, since I had to support myself alone again, and the last time I only worked two jobs, I was like, twenty-three."

Alex leaned into John a bit, settling his head against the younger man's shoulder. "You work so hard, John. You ever think about the fact that you deserve a break?"

John just shrugged. "I don't need no one to therapize me, Alex. I'll do whatever feels right until it doesn't feel right anymore." John pulled out a water bottle and cracked it open, taking a sip. "What about you, huh? What were some details about your childhood?"

Alex laughed, checking up on Phillip again. "Uh, it sucked. No, my life wasn’t actually good until I was about thirty."

"For real?" John asked.

Alex nodded, shrugging. "My brother left, dad bolted, mom died, my cousin was a psycho and I was a loner, married a crazy bitch, joined the army, which obviously didn't end well. I lost a few friends, got a divorce. Really, John, my life didn't actually turn around until I went to rehab and started going to therapy."

"Shit," John mumbled.

Alex, quite boldly, kissed John's shoulder and sighed. "It's okay though. I wouldn't be the person I am without all that, and it's in my past. Shit is better now." Alex looked at John and smiled. "I'm a lot happier. I probably owe a lot of it to that divorce though."

John snorted. "Oh? Really?"

Alex waved his hand. "Psh, oh yeah. I was in it for the money, really. I know that's a bad thing to say, but you gotta understand, I was literally broke. Anyway, she was, she was crazy. We fought all the time. Huge fights too. Usually, something would get thrown at me. No, court battles were wicked, but I had a good lawyer. She got me a solid half of the money, which was a lot. Enough to place a down payment on my house, and then some."

"And just how much was that?" John chuckled.

"About ten million dollars," Alex answered casually.

John choked on his water, coughing a bit.

A laugh came from Alex. "I know right? Like, I had been poor most of my life, and suddenly, like, I have ten million dollars! I didn't buy my house right away though. No, this was about the time I went a little off the rails with drinking, so I luckily had people in my life who were smart enough to put that money in a savings account that I couldn't really touch. I was gaining four percent interest every year, so by the time I actually put a down payment on the house, I had over eleven million dollars. It was crazy."

"Damn, Alex," John snorted. "Where can I find me a crazy bitch to marry and then divorce for half their riches?"

"Believe me, John, all the crazy parts in between are not worth it," Alex assured him.

"Yeah, I..." John trailed off, his throat going dry and his eyes widening. His heartbeat sped up and his eyes rapidly moved around the park, searching for the dark curly hair of his son. "Alex, Alex, can you find Phillip?"

Alex sat up, looking around, his eyes wide. "Shit."

John scrambled to his feet and went to the group of kids where Phillip was playing. He wasn't there, so John continued to look around, scanning the play equipment. Phillip was pretty easy to spot. His hair was so big and curly, and John could pick him out of a sea of children very quickly, but not this time. His heart was racing as the worst thoughts came to his head.

Alex, on the other hand, was in full on ranger mode. His eyes scanned the children's playground as if it was a warzone. His heartbeat was steady, but adrenaline was pumping through his veins, ready to be put into action. His muscles were tense, and he scoped out everyone there, looking for some sign of suspicion, some sign of something being off. He was almost shaking. He was ready to pounce on anything.

And then he saw it.

Bouncing brown and black curls, skipping into the street to collect a red ball that was still rolling. A black car barrelling down the road, its driver's eyes on their phone. For a second, times seemed to stop as Alex watched Phillip. His heart stopped, his throat dried up, a sweat broke over his back.

Then he ran.

The lack of sleep didn't stop him. The sore muscles from this morning's jog didn't stop him. The heat pressing against his back didn't stop him. Alex ran faster than he had in a very long time, racing with the car to get to Phillip. His lungs pounded as his feet hit the concrete. He was thankful there weren't any people in his path, and he could go straight to Phillip. His heart was pounding against his chest, partially from the exertion, partially from the anxiety. All he knew was that he needed to get to Phillip before the car did.

Phillip let out a little bit of a scream when Alex scooped him up, pulling him out of the way to the car and slowing down as he made it to the other side of the road, the younger kid still in his arms. The car zoomed by, not even noticing what just happened, and it took everything in Alex not to get its plate numbers and see the driver put into prison. Instead, he hugged Phillip close to his chest, breathing heavily and carrying Phillip back to the other side of the street.

"Phillip!" John, who had terrifyingly watched the whole thing go down, cried as he ran over to the two. He was quick to take Phillip out of Alex's arms and hug the small child, tears coming to his eyes as he ran his hand over Phillip's soft brown hair. "Phillip, we've talked about this, you can't go into the road alone! You could get hurt!"

"I'm sorry, papa," Phillip whimpered. By now, the little kid had picked up on the energy of the situation, and tears were coming down his cheeks. Alex sort of just stood there, trying to calm down as John and Pip hugged.

"Alex, thank you," John cried out, pulling Alex into the hug. "Thank you, Alex. Thank you so much. Thank you so much."

Alex hugged back, resting his head against John's shoulder. "It's okay. He's okay. He's okay. You're okay, it's okay."

"Phillip," John said softly, releasing Alex from the hug and looking Phillip in the eye. "I need you to promise me that you will never go into the road without an adult with you. It is so unsafe and you could get so hurt, Pip. I don't want that happening. Do you promise me?"

"I promise, papa," Phillip nodded, swallowing.

"Capiche?" John mumbled, his face buried in Phillip’s hair.

"Capiche," Phillip replied.

John hugged Phillip again, sighing and holding his son as tight as he could. "I love you so much, Phillip. So much. You are the light of my life. I don't need you getting hurt, okay? You mean more than anything else in the world to me. You're my pride and joy."

"I love you too, papa," Phillip replied.

John kissed Phillip's forehead, wiping a few tears from the toddler's cheeks. "There, there, don't cry, don't cry. It's okay. You should thank Alex for keeping you safe."

Phillip turned to Alex, who stood there shyly. "Thank you, Alex. I'm sorry for scaring you and my papa."

"It's okay, buddy," Alex smiled, ruffling Phillip's hair. "As long as you're safe."

They stayed at the park a little longer, John watching Phillip like a hawk, and holding a decent conversation with Alex. Soon enough though, they were headed back home, Alex humming a quiet song and leaning into John, who had his arm around him. When they got home, it was too early to start dinner but too late to go out and do anything, so the three of them settled on a board game.

"You've never played Candyland?" John gasped as he pulled the board game out of the chest he kept full, even though he could unpack if he wanted.

Alex shook his head. "The only board game I've ever played was Monopoly."

John tsked, carrying the board game into the living room. "Okay, well, Phillip and I will have to show you how to play, yeah?"

Alex nodded. "Alright, sure, I'm game."

The game started and went, Phillip, being the first to arrive at the end, John being the second, and Alex not even making it before they collectively decided to give up. He just could not draw the right card. He really sucked at this game.

"Like, there’s no way to be bad at this game, yet you lost. And you lost so hard," John teased as he cleaned up the game while Phillip watched cartoons. "It doesn't make any sense."

Alex gently knocked John's shoulder, laughing. "Whatever. I've always been bad at board games. Seriously, I've never won a game of Monopoly, ever. Even, like, stupid apps on your phone. Candy Crush? Crushed my soul. I'm just terrible at games."

"You really are," John laughed, setting the game on the coffee table. "I'm gonna go start on dinner, you wanna keep me company?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah, sure."

John stood up, stretching, then gently leaned over and kissed Phillip on the forehead. "Hey, buddy, I'm gonna go cook dinner. Do you need anything?"

"Can I have a cup of milk, papa?" Phillip requested.

"Sure thing, buddy," John smiled, going downstairs with Alex following him. John got Phillip a cup of milk and brought it up to him, then came back downstairs and began cooking dinner, Alex looking through some mail. Alex couldn't help but look up at the sound of John quietly singing, moving his hips to the beat as he cut up some potatoes.

"Do you want me to turn on the radio?" Alex asked.

"Sure," John chuckled. Alex turned on the radio, switching to some eighties station. John smiled and swayed to the beat, moving his hips nicely while he cooked. Alex found himself looking up from his taxes and staring at John's ass. Alex had never really been the most dominant, and in all reality, he sucked at it, but shit, what he wouldn't give to eat John's ass. It just, it seemed so perfect. So round and squishy. Alex just wanted to touch it for two hours, learn every curve, touch those dimples in the sides from the way John's muscle formed. Alex was totally drooling over his roommate, and he was pretty shameless about it.

"They say I have the best ass above fourteenth street, is it true?" John sang, grinning.

Alex looked up, eyes wide. "What?"

"You're staring again," John pointed out, laughing, as he slathered some olive oil over the potatoes, rosemary waiting to be used.

"Oh, no, I mean, you do have a nice-" Alex cut himself off, chuckling nervously.

John just snorted sprinkling rosemary over the potatoes before placing them in the oven. "So, I uh, I think you mentioned something about dinner at one point?"

Alex's brows shot up, looking at the younger man.

"I know, I know the first time you asked, I just, I said no, to be flat, but that wasn't because of you, honestly. No, I just, I have trouble with people, sometimes, and it's hard for me to really, like, figure out my emotions. I dunno." John rubbed the back of his neck, looking at Alex. "You know? I just, sometimes it takes me longer than I wish it did, and like, if you want to revoke your offer and not-"

"No, no, dinner," Alex quickly cut in. "Please, let me take you out to dinner, John. It's okay, no, I totally get the needing time, thing. Just, like, whenever works for you. Really, I would totally love to take you out to dinner."

John smiled, biting his lip. "Nothing fancy? I really don't own nice clothes. I think the best you'll get out of me is a pair of jeans and a clean tee shirt."

Alex nodded. "No, I have a perfect idea."

"Cool," John laughed. "Alright, I'm gonna make some steak and potatoes and broccoli, is that okay? It's one of Pip's favorite meals."

"It's great," Alex nodded, chuckling and looking back down to his taxes, looking over what needed to be paid. Dinner was quickly made by John, and soon enough, the three of them were eating at the dinner table. Alex had some music on, and it was nice.

"Tax season is coming up," Alex said, looking over at the younger man.

John groaned. "I hate it."

Alex chuckled. "Just use TurboTax, man. It's like, Godly. I don't think I could manage without it."

John looked at him incredulously. "You’re a finance manager. And still hate it. Ugh, I never realized how nice it was to have Sundays off. I can't wait to sleep in again tomorrow. Should we watch a movie tonight?"

"Yes," Phillip nodded, running his hands over the texture of the blue blanket Alex had on his arm chair. "Can we watch Spiderman?"

"Yes!" Alex agreed. "I love Marvel!"

"Oh, mister 'I'll only watch classic French movies' loves Marvel?" John teased, nudging Alex's shin with his foot.

"For the record," Alex started. "I like more movies than that. I just, I don't have a lot of time to watch fun movies. With some seriously French film going on in the background, it's a lot easier for me to focus."

John nodded. "Fair enough."

Dinner finished up and Alex made some popcorn, then the three of them all went upstairs and sat on the couch. Phillip was cuddled up to one side of John, with Alex on the other, a blanket over their legs. About ten minutes into the movie, Alex was passed out, leaning against John, snoring lightly. Phillip and John were giggling at Alex's light snores, trying not to wake him but finding it extremely difficult. About halfway through the movie, Phillip was asleep too and John was trapped under both of them. He didn't mind, though. There had been many nights where he was trapped under Phillip and Herc or James or Sally, as well as their kids.

Towards the end of the movie, Alex shot up, breathing heavily and looking around nervously, his body shaking. This startled John, causing the man to jump, looking over at Alex, gently placing his hand on the older man's arm. "Alex, are you okay?"

Alex took a deep breath, swallowing hard and nodding. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just, bad dream. It happens all the time. I think I forgot to take my meds today, so I'm gonna go do that. I'm okay, I just, I need to, I need to go to sleep. I think I'm gonna turn in, yeah?"

John nodded. "Alright. Sleep well, Alex. Goodnight."

"Night," Alex smiled a bit, though he was still shaking a bit as he stood up. Sweat dripped down his back as he made his way downstairs. He got out his meds, crushing them up and putting them into some water, as well as his Ambien. His nightmares used to be a lot worse. He would wake up screaming bloody murder. Every time he closed his eyes, the only thing he could see was bloody bodies and the only thing he could feel was heat and pain, the only thing he could hear was gunshots. He would drink and drink, and then not sleep for days. He would hallucinate, he wouldn't eat. Either Thomas or Washington would have to come over and basically force feed him. He was in and out of hospitals, he was a mess. Thomas and Washington would never admit this, but they worried he was gonna kill himself.

Alex sat down on a stool and stared at the tile counter, sipping the cloudy water. He felt sick, but he knew it would pass. He was glad he hadn't had a huge freakout in front of John. Even now, he would still wake up shaking, saying something about someone. He never woke up John and Phillip on those nights where he'd wake up around midnight, go downstairs, and check to make sure all his weaponry was still there, ready to be loaded. He never woke them up when he'd grapple for the phone and call Thomas or Major Washington, listening to Thomas's radio play through the phone speaker, or listening to Washington play the violin, since the man never seemed to sleep but was always well rested.

Alex groaned, checking his phone and seeing a text from Lafayette, saying something about a meeting on Monday. Alex absolutely hated meetings. It was 'looked down upon' to 'shamelessly argue with coworkers' in a 'business environment.' He texted back a confirmation, saying he'll be there, then sighed, looking around the kitchen. He downed the rest of the water, then walked upstairs, seeing the TV turned off and the living room abandoned. Alex made his way up to his room, finishing his nightly routine and laying down.

He was about to fall asleep, but his phone began buzzing. He jumped at Theodosia's contact, quickly pressing accept and pressing the phone to his ear. "Theo? Theo? Are you there? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, it is," she answered, letting out a breath. "God, Alex, I'm so sorry for not staying in contact, but I just got the call that Aaron was okay."

Alex sat up. "Wait, what do you mean? Why wouldn't he be okay?"

Theodosia sighed. "He just, he went missing. That's why he hasn't been answering letters, that's why I haven't been in contact. I didn't want to stress anyone out, so I just, I didn't want to call until I had definite news. He's back at his camp. His plane went down somewhere over Pakistan, and they couldn't find him. He and the men in the plane who had survived were at the plane, trying to reboot the radio or the tracking system. I just got the call from Major Baptiste that he got in contact with them through the radio and they're sending out another plane to go get them right now. You're the first person I've called."

"Shit, fuck," Alex gasped, placing his head in his hand, holding the phone to his ear still. "Shit, Dosia, fuck. You, you keep me updated, please? When you call him next, get in touch with him, get his stats and text me. You gotta call Thomas too and Washington. They've both been worried fucking sick. Fuck, do you know anything? Is he okay?"

"Major Baptiste told me that they were running low on water and food, and they had a man who had a pretty bad gash to the arm, but Aaron was okay." Theodosia took a deep breath. "Fuck, Alex, I was fucking terrified. I had no idea where he was or what he was doing. I was so scared that he had died. I thought I had lost my husband." Theodosia's voice cracked. "I thought my sweet Aaron was gone."

"Hey, hey," Alex whispered softly. "It's okay. He's okay. He's okay. You're gonna see him real soon, and you're gonna hear his voice, and he's gonna hold you and your daughter in his arms, and it's gonna be okay. He's gonna be okay."

Theodosia sniffled. "I know, I know. I just, Alex, he's my husband. I was there for him through everything, and he was there for me. I don't want him getting hurt. Oh, and I, I wouldn't know how to explain to little Dosia that her papa is never coming back, and oh, oh my God, Alex, I just need to hear his voice again."

"You will," Alex assured her. "He's probably going to be able to call you within the next few days. He's gonna be in the infirmary for a bit most likely, just getting a few fluids and some food, but he's gonna be able to call you. It's gonna be okay, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, alright," Theodosia sighed. "Okay, well, I still need to call Thomas and Washington and..."

"Jay," Alex muttered quietly.

Theodosia sighed. "I accidentally called his number the other day. It was weird to hear a voice that wasn't his pick up."

Alex chuckled darkly. "I think about that motherfucker every day."

"Me too," Theodosia mumbled. There was a pause at the other end, and then Theodosia sighed softly. "Alright, well, I gotta call them others. We should catch up sometime, Alex. Just because I live in Philly, don't mean we can't hang. I love you, alright? I'll keep you updated on Aaron. Call me if you need anything, honey."

"Alright, Theo," Alex chuckled. "I love you too. Sleep well."

"You too," Theodosia replied.

Alex sat back and sighed, staring up at the glowing stars on his ceiling. He felt a bit of relief wash over him now that he knew Aaron and Theo were okay. Aaron still hasn't left the army, but Alex knew he was going to eventually. The long amounts of time away from his daughter and wife were getting to him. Alex would probably still be in the army if it weren't for his injury. Aaron had always lucked out in every fight, never even getting shot. Everyone always asked what his trick was, and Aaron would always pull out a picture of his wife and daughter that he kept in his breast pocket, saying that they were his good luck charm.

Alex rolled over, staring at the sheet that covered him. He had to wait a little while for the Ambien to kick in, but soon he was drifting off, sighing, thinking about the guitar under his bed, making a resolution to play it at least once tomorrow.


	8. Art and music programs need funding, George

A week passed and Alex gave John no updates about dinner. John was almost worried, beginning to wonder if Alex was just pulling a stunt to get John back for saying no. Another half of his brain was telling him that a date on a weeknight was irrational, and if they were going to stay out late, they didn't really want to have to go to work tomorrow. On Friday, John was still nervous. If Alex wanted to take him out, he needed to give John's a day notice so that John could call a friend to babysit Phillip.

It was Friday that John found himself lying on the floor of his dance studio while Maria walked on his back to crack it. He groaned loudly as a series of cracks rang through the room. "I don't know, Maria. Maybe he was like, faking it. Or maybe he forgot. Should I bring it up? I don't want to like, make him uncomfortable, though."

Maria dug her heel into John's spine, feeling a bit of tension, and being rewarded with several pops. "Maybe he's planning something out. Check it, maybe he'll take you out tomorrow or something. You're positive he doesn't want you to do something?"

"Well, he asked me, and he said he had a perfect idea, so I'm assuming we're doing what he's planning, but I am really bad at picking up on signals." John sighed, flinching as his back cracked. "I don't think he's been giving off signals though. I mean, sure, we've been a little closer this week, but that's just because we've both acknowledged that we like each other."

"Describe closer," Maria prompted, stepping off of John's back and lying down next to him on the floor.

John rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. "I dunno. When we watch a movie or something, I'll put my arm around him and he'll lean against me. He'll kiss my hand before I get out of the car for work, and when I get off of work here, I don't have anything else after since I quit that fast food job-"

"Thank god," Maria muttered angrily, still seething about what Ben had done to John.

"And so, like, on Wednesday, he texted me and asked if I wanted to go on a walk with him for his lunch break, and we both just kinda, hung out. He made it very clear that that wasn't the date though, before you insinuate that." John paused, smiling. "It was nice, though. He bought me a coffee, and teased me for drinking stupid hazelnut latte, and then I gave him a flower that I picked from a little area of grass we passed and he sent me a picture later of the flower in a little cup of water." John laughed. "He's just, he's cute."

"So why don't you just go back to the house, pin him against the wall, stick your dick up his ass, and see where it goes from there?" Maria suggested, nudging John's shoulder.

John snorted. "Yeah, maybe. I don't know, after all that shit that happened with Francis, I don't think I wanna rush things or anything. I mean, you know how fast I moved with him, and I don't want another repeat of that. I mean, I know I sucked his dick before he even asked me to dinner, but let's ignore that for a second."

"Well yeah, but Francis was a dick," Maria protested. "You have every right to want to take things slower. Hasn't Alex had some crazy relationships too?"

John shrugged. "I dunno. He had a crazy ex-wife as he says it, but I haven't gotten too many details about that except for the fact that she was rich and they fought a lot."

"Maybe he was the crazy one," Maria joked, laughed a bit.

"Yeah, see, I was worried about that too, so I asked one of his friends about Eliza, and he said that she was fucking terrifying and probably had the guts to murder someone, so I'm gonna guess that she was the crazy one," John explained. "Why?"

"I dunno," Maria laughed. "If he hasn't exactly had the best track record with relationships, and neither have you, I get this feeling you both are gonna want to take it slow, you know? Relationships are hard. It's why I don't do them."

"Maria, if everyone was like you, the world would be a simpler place," John chuckled, closing his eyes. "Honestly though? I do hope he doesn't mind taking it slow, because last time I jumped into a relationship without looking-"

"It was shit," Maria finished for John.

John nodded, sitting up. "Yeah. I should probably go and pick up my little gamete. I'll text you if something happens, yeah?"

"Yeah," Maria replied. She smacked John's ass as he got up, laughing. "Go get em, tiger. And hey, if he has forgotten the date, I say you bend him over the kitchen counter and show him you got that-" Maria thrust her crotch up. "-Strong dick game."

"Psh, like you would know," John snorted, tying up his hair again.

"I knew you in college, John," Maria snorted. She then made a sensual face and raised her voice several octaves, imitating a white girl, almost. "Oh! John! Yeah! Fuck me with your hard cock! Fuck!"

John laughed, pulling her up. "Get out of my classroom you sex addict."

"Oh? You wanna call me a sex addict?" Maria teased. "I'm not the one with a kid."

John knocked Maria's shoulder playfully, laughing. "This conversation is over." He locked the door to his classroom and pulled Maria into a hug. "I love you, Mars. Stay safe, alright girl?"

"You too," Maria smiled.

They parted ways and John took the subway to Phillip's daycare, just wearing his dance clothes since he didn't have anywhere else to be and they needed to be washed. The Subway ride was particularly awful due to a mariachi band that started playing, and John almost wished he had a phone with a headphone jack that worked, but he just smiled awkwardly at the performers and pushed passed them when the train got to his stop. John was getting really close to being able to afford the used car he had his eye on. He was talking to the seller, a guy named Nick who attended John’s old college, and if John could get the money by next week, he could buy it. John was just a hundred dollars short, and he was sure he'd be able to do it, especially if he was friendly at the bar he worked and got good tips.

"Hey, buddy!" John smiled, finding Phillip near the blocks.

"Hi, Papa!" Phillip smiled, hugging John. John hugged back, leading the kid to the door, after signing him out. John didn't call an Uber since he was trying to save money, so he and Phillip began walking home, Phillip gripping John's middle and pointer finger in his tiny hand. John listened to Phillip talk about his day, babble about a disturbance he’d had during naptime, and how someone stole his lion animal cracker.

They got home and John set Phillip up in the living room with some crayons and paper while he went upstairs and showered quickly. During his sweet Pavlov, he found his thoughts drifting to Alex a couple of times, but John swiftly pulled them back, not feeling right about thinking of Alex in such a way. Granted, they’d sucked each other off, but to think of Alex on his hands and knees, begging and pleading for some kind of contact, would require Alex actually doing that, first. So John thought about a couple of pornos and a few exceptionally good fucking sessions during college, then finished up, washing his hair and body, and stepping out of the shower. A towel was wrapped around his waist, and his hair still left droplets of water dripping down his back and chest.

"Hey!" Alex smiled, passing John in the hallway. "Lafayette or Herc is gonna be here in an hour to pick up Phillip, do you think you'll be ready by then?"

John raised his eyebrows. "Ready for...?"

Alex gasped. "Oh, shit, our date. Did I not tell you?"

John laughed, biting his lip. "No, Alex, you did not tell me we had a date tonight. Luckily, I have no other plans, so I'll be ready in fifteen minutes and then we can kill time until Herc or Laf comes and picks Phillip up. Did you put that together?"

Alex nodded proudly. "On Tuesday, Herc stopped by the office so he and Lafayette could fuck or something, and I asked him to babysit Phillip on Friday, since I just wanted to save you the trouble, and Herc said that it worked out perfectly because Friday is pizza night and Phillip likes pizza and then they were just gonna hang out and watch movies with Laf."

"Laf, he's good with kids, yeah?" John inquired.

Alex nodded, snorting. "God, he's great with kids, as long as they don't vomit or anything. He gets real squeamish about body fluids."

"Ooh, let's hope he's never around for when Herc get the flu," John laughed, not noticing that he was still just in a towel. "Poor baby, he rarely gets sick, but when he does, it's bad. I always feel so bad and end up spending a couple nights at his house, nursing him back to health. If Lafayette is really squeamish around vomit and stuff, then he's gonna have to go a few days without Herc."

Alex smiled, staring at John's torso for a second. John's torso was pretty much what Alex had thought it would be, but it was skinnier. Defined stomach muscles and chest muscles, yet visible ribs and hints of a sternum. John seemed to eat a normal amount, though Alex wasn’t really sure. John did exercise a lot, so that was probably was he was skinny.

"You stare a lot," John commented, putting his pointer finger under Alex's chin and moving it up so they meet eyes. John lowered his voice, stepping closer to Alex. "You should ask to touch, instead of just staring." John patted Alex's cheek. "I'm gonna go get dressed, what should I wear?"

Alex paused, his cheeks flushed as he stared up into John's eyes. "Nothing fancy. Just casual. Yeah?"

"Cool," John nodded, stepping past Alex and going into his room. He dropped his towel, drying off his hair a little more, before flopping on his bed for a few seconds, sighing. His hair was still damp, most likely getting onto the pillow. John had been awake for over fourteen hours, and he needed a second.

John finished up his moment of rest, then changed into his joggers and a blue tee shirt. He got to work, putting his hair into two braids to keep it out of his face. John put on some deodorant, as well as some cologne. John began to pack an overnight bag for Phillip, making sure he had everything he needed for a sleepover at Herc's. When he was finished, he went and brushed his teeth, then checked to make sure he looked okay before joining Phillip in the living room. John sprawled himself over the couch, closing his eyes and sighing deeply. Phillip hummed happily while he colored and John rested his eyes. It was nice to have a little it of time to relax, and John almost fell asleep, but the doorbell went off. He sat up, sighing, and went to open it, seeing a happy Lafayette standing there. He looked different when he was wearing casual clothes, rather than a fifty thousand dollar suit.

"John Laurens, mon ami," Lafayette greeted vibrantly, leaning in and kissing both of John's cheeks. "It is so wonderful to see you. I am here to pick up your son, Phillip Laurens. Herc would have loved to accompany me, but it seems he needed to watch William. We would've brought William but we figured William and Phillip would begin to play here and not ever want to leave. Is this okay?"

John nodded, smiling. "Yes, let me go get his bag." John quickly ran upstairs, then scooped Phillip up and brought him out to Lafayette's car, helping buckle Phillip in. "Lafayette, thank you for this. I really appreciate it."

"Babysitting is no problem," Lafayette smiled, waving his hand. "I often am finding myself watching William."

"No, I mean, thank you for treating Herc nicely," John explained. "He just, he really needed someone like you."

Lafayette took John's hand kindly, a bit of a sad smile on his lips. "I understand why you must feel so protective over Herc. I know how his past relationships have gone, and even now, I see how it affects him. I love Hercules very much, and I know he doubts it, as well as himself sometimes, but my love for him will never waiver, nor will it fade."

John pulled Lafayette into a hug. "You are good for him."

"I hope so," Lafayette nodded.

"Alright," John sighed. "I'll pick Phillip up around noonish tomorrow, does that sound okay? I can do earlier if you need me to."

"Whatever works for you," Lafayette smiled.

"Alright, thank you," John nodded, waving and walking inside. He heads down to the kitchen where Alex is sitting, looking over a few papers. For a second, John just stared at him. Alex was cute, the way his hair fell in front of his face, the way his glasses slid down his nose. He was undeniably handsome really, and John couldn't help but smile at it. Eventually, though, he snapped out of it and walked closer to Alex. "Hey, Phillip just got picked up."

Alex turned to John and smiled, standing up and popping his back. "Cool, okay, so, let's get going. I'm gonna take you on a classic New York date."

"Intense sweaty clubbing until three am?" John guessed as he followed Alex out the front door onto the sidewalk.

"Nope," Alex laughed, falling into sync with John's steps. "Don't guess. It'll take the fun out of it. How long have you lived in New York?"

John shrugged. "Since I was eighteen. Moved up right after high school, lived in my dorm, and then apartments after I dropped out. How about you?"

"Well, I haven't lived in Manhattan until recently, but I moved upstate to Albany when I was seventeen," Alex explained. "I was in and out of Buffalo because of the army. I spent most of my time in Iraq and then came home for a couple of months. When I left the army, I uh." Alex paused, thinking about his bender. "I lived in an apartment in Jersey for a while, since I was out of a job and living off of severance from the army. I was in Jersey for about a year, kinda just bumming it with the bare minimum, and then I moved up to Manhattan with a friend, got elected, and bought my house. I've bounced around the east coast a bit, but Manhattan is my home. I love it here. You?"

"Do I love it?" John clarified. When Alex nodded, he went on. "Yeah, I really do. It's freaking expensive, and I've gotten really close to moving out of here, but no, this place is really the best. It was like, total whiplash coming from South Carolina, though."

Alex laughed, steering John down a different path into central park. "Oh, really? How?"

"Well, like, down in South Carolina, everyone is so polite and passive and no one is gonna confront you, and life is just really slow. I move up here and suddenly I'm getting cursed out by crazy drunks, everyone is moving a mile a minute. It was just weird, almost like a culture shock. New Yorkers are so rude, no matter how long you live here."

"Oh, yeah, totally," Alex agreed. "New Yorkers are the rudest people you'll ever meet. You hold open the door and ten people walk by, not even making eye contact. You're lucky if you get a grunt. It's the best place to live when you argue as much as I do."

"You know, you always talk about arguing, but you're really not an angry person," John chuckled, bumping Alex.

"It's because I get to call John Adams a fat and ruddy duck to his face," Alex shrugged. "I think one of the reasons I've survived in politics is my love for the people and my hatred for who they elect, you know? Like, the way I see it, at the end of the day, Republican, conservative, liberal, gay, straight, black, white, we're all still people. We all love and hurt and cry, and we all deserve mercy and forgiveness." Alex paused, thinking. "Not Nazi's though. I don't love Nazis."

"I think that’s fair," John laughed.

"Hot Dog or pretzel?" Alex questioned.

"Hm?" John murmured absentmindedly, looking to Alex.

"For food, pretzel or hotdog? You said nothing fancy," Alex recounted.

"Hotdog," John answered, smiling and following Alex to the hotdog stand.

John ordered a hotdog with ketchup and mustard, while Alex ordered just a plain hotdog. Alex told John to save his food until they got there, so John let the older man lead him to a nice grassy area. The setting sun was nice, and John couldn't help but notice the other people who were in the area, as well as the large white projection screen. A projector was behind them, and people seemed to be waiting for something.

"Alright, what is it? What are we doing?" John asked, looking around.

"We are seeing a movie, in the park," Alex smiled. "I dunno, I heard about it from a friend. I don't think it's a French movie, but it's probably old, black and white. I was pretty stumped on what to do in central park, but then I heard about this."

John nodded, taking a bite of his hotdog. "Alright. I gotta say, it's a lot better than some over-expensive restaurant with a pretentious white guy who majored in psychology."

"Oof," Alex smirked. "Don't worry. I majored in political science and religious studies, so I won't be trying to pick apart your brain."

"What a relief," John snorted.

"Hey, Alex!" A voice called out.

Alex looked up and spotted his doctor, dressed in normal daywear, a woman walking next to him. "Doctor Pendleton! Good to see you!"

"Good to see you too!" Dr. Pendleton replied. "How's the leg? Is it still bothering you, or did I adjust it well enough."

Alex patted his knee. "Works like a charm."

"Good to hear it," Dr. Pendleton laughed. "See you around."

"See you around, doctor," Alex smiled, waving.

John paused a second, then looked to Alex. "What is wrong with your leg? You said you messed it up or something, but how?"

"Um, it’s not there anymore, would be the first thing that comes to mind."

John choked on his hotdog. "What?"

Alex pulled up the pant leg of his jeans, showing off a wooden prosthetic. Alex could've gotten a regular one, but he liked the fashion of the dark oak leg. "Lost it in a war thing. I don't really talk about it all that much, and only a few people know about it. It doesn't both me anymore, but that's just because I took two years of physical therapy."

John, without thinking, ran his hand over the smooth wood. "So you just, you wear this? Every day?"

"I couldn't walk without it," Alex pointed out, pulling down his pant leg again.

"Do you shower with it?" John blurted, incredibly curious and not at all trying to be rude.

"Not this one, no." Alex shook his head. "I have a prosthetic that's meant to go in the water, so I shower with that on, clean the area that it covers up, then get on my regular prosthetic. I don't really notice it anymore, and it was a below the knee amputation, so it's not like, it's not like it was this huge adjustment."

"Wow," John mumbled, sitting back. "Do you, like, do you forget it's there?"

"I forget I ever had an actual leg there in the first place," Alex smiled. "No, it's why I have the disabled parking, and it's why I still qualify for a severance check from the army, even though I'm doing just fine on my own. It's been gone since I was like, twenty-six, so I just, it's not a big deal anymore. Actually, I usually get a kick out of seeing people's reactions."

John scoffed and pushed Alex a little bit. "Nice dad joke."

"Oh, yeah, I really need to start writing them down," Alex agreeed. "But yeah, that's what's wrong with my leg. It still hurts sometimes, but that's just the chronic pain and the PTSD shit, which is normal at this point. I've been so up and active with Phillip and you recently, I guess my leg wasn't really prepared for that, so I had to get it adjusted at the doctors since it was starting to hurt a bit."

"Oh, sorry," John apologized.

Alex just waved his hand. "It was nice to have a reason like that to go to the doctor. I think I've gotten a little more in shape since you and Pip moved in." Alex patted his stomach. "I'm losing my layer of Chinese takeout."

John chuckled, finishing off his hotdog. "I think if I didn't dance my blood would be fifty percent corn chips and fifty percent nacho cheese."

"Oh man, nachos are my go-to comfort food," Alex admitted. "That's what got me through my divorce I think." Alex paused, then chuckled nervously. "I just realized that it's probably not appropriate to talk about your divorce on a date."

"It's okay," John smiled. "It's a part of you, and I want to know who Alexander Hamilton is. He seems like a very interesting person."

Alex snorted. "Thank you, John." The screen lit up and Alex excitedly hit John's arm, looking to the screen. "It's starting."

John grinnd at how cute Alex was, then looked back to the movie. It took about fifteen minutes to realize that it was a black and white silent movie, which made John want to blow out his brains, but Alex was still smiling and watching it, so John rested his head on the older man's shoulder and tried to watch too. It was very hard to stay entertained, so John focused on the smell of Alex's cologne. It was musty, like woodsmoke, almost. John found his hand gently brushing over Alex's thigh as he pressed his lips to the older man's shoulder.

"Are you bored?" Alex whispered.

"Not anymore," John mumbled, kissing up Alex's shoulder and onto his neck. John heard Alex's breath hitch, so he pulled away and looked up at Alex. "Is this okay?"

"Yes, yes, it's very okay," Alex nodded.

John scooted closer and began gently kissing around Alex's neck, offering the occasional flip of the tongue, but nothing strong enough to leave hickeys. Alex placed his hand over John's, his breathing staggered and his focus drifting as John's breath gently blew over the sensitive skin of his neck. Alex didn't really have a 'sweet spot.' If someone kissed his neck, they could essentially do whatever they wanted to him. It was how Eliza won so many arguments, how Angelica got him to cheat, and how a lot of other people got him to cheat, as well.

"I'm like, two seconds away from getting hard," Alex chuckled hoarsely.

"Shame," John murmured, pulling his lips away from Alex's neck. "What's going on in the movie?"

"Okay, so, she's married to him, but she's cheating on him with his brother, who used to be her sister's husband, but they got a divorce because her sister was only in it for the money," Alex explained. "Anyway, he does think she's cheating, but not with his brother. No, he suspects she's cheating on him with his boss, who he's about to go kill. But here's the thing, when he comes back, he's going to find her in bed with his brother and he's going to realize he made a mistake and then he's going to kill himself."

"You've seen this before?" John laughed.

Alex nodded. "Any movie that came out in the seventies or earlier? I've seen it."

"Literally how can anyone sit through this and enjoy it?" John joked.

Alex shrugged. "I got back from rehab, and I was still out of a job and stuff, but I was living with a friend, and I had a TV in my room so I would get a big-ass bag of chips, and watch movie, after movie, after movie. I usually made it through about eight a day, and I did that for about a year, so I saw a lot of movies. It wasn't exactly the best for my health, and it wasn't the only thing I did, but I gotta admit, I didn't get as many urges when I was watching black and white movies."

"I guess I get that," John nodded. "I went through a couple things, and I think dancing was the only thing that got me through them." John was cut off by someone shushing them. He rolled his eyes and turned in the general direction of the sound. "It's a silent movie, chill."

"John!" Alex scolded, laughing. "Come on, neither of us are watching this anymore, and you know what happens in the end. Let's go walk around."

Alex and John stood up, smiling and walking away from the area. The sun was barely licking the horizon, and the city was close to being entirely engulfed in darkness. They walked south, down the middle of central park, enjoying each other's company.

"Okay, so, what's the weirdest thing you've seen in New York?" Alex asked as they began to near the border of central park.

"Uh, let's see." John thought for a second. "Uh, a naked cowboy, one of those death doctor things with the bird masks on a train, a whole husky dog in a big side bag, and a guy playing the trombone while hanging upside on the Subway. What about you?"

"Okay, this is going to sound like I'm bullshitting, but I'm not, I swear," Alex started. "It was three in the morning, I had just gotten off of the Subway. I had been at Lafayette's house because we both had gotten re-elected since elections for people in departments like mine get voted on every two years. Anyway, I walked off the train, I'm exhausted, I'm full of air since I had just been chugging seltzer water and eating breadsticks all night. I step onto the street, and I'm walking, right? Suddenly, this old lady approaches me, and she can't be younger than ninety. She's wrapped in all these clothes, and she takes my hand, gently places three buttons in it, and tells me, and I'll never forget this, she says 'you will not find love, you will build it.' Then she left. Like, she just walked away. I know this sounds fake, but I swear to god, it was so real."

"Do you still have the buttons?" John chuckled.

Alex shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. It's a big house and they were small buttons."

John smiled, going out on a ledge and taking Alex's hand. He was happy when Alex squeezed his hand gently, signaling that it was okay. "You know, I think this is the best date I've gone on in years."

"Well, I'm glad I could offer you that," Alex laughed, bumping into John.

John looked up and laughed at a restaurant. "Oh, that was Phillip's mom's favorite restaurant. It was expensive, but I always bought her some pasta dish from there since it was the only thing that could satisfy her cravings, and I would get leftovers. I swear, she ate the weirdest shit."

Alex hummed. "Were you and her, like, a thing?"

John shook his head. "No, no. I knew her through an art class, and we hooked up once, then she got knocked up. We were close, but we never dated. Thought about it briefly, but the idea was quickly shot down when she said she didn't want to have a kid. She was a real nice person though. She'd braid my hair before classes since I took morning classes and she took afternoon classes."

"Do you miss her?" Alex asked.

John nodded. "Yeah. We were friends, and it kinda sucks that I haven't talked to her since Phillip was born, but I could always reconnect with her on Snapchat or something. I dunno. My girl, Maria, thought she was hot."

Alex laughed. "How long have you know Maria?"

"The first day of college," John answered. "She yelled 'pick me up' and came leaping at me and I dropped two four hundred dollar textbooks out of my arms and picked her Dirty Dancing style. After that, we got paired together a lot for dances and projects since we did really good dancing together, and we were focused. She's my girl for life."

"Cute," Alex commented, laughing.

The two spent hours walking around New York, talking. Alex spoke more of the good times from the army, spoke of his friends he met in the army, spoke of a recent phone call with one of his friend's wives. John listened to all of Alex's stories with much adoration. The way Alex spoke was captivating. He never seemed to lose confidence, to falter or stop. He would forget the occasional word, but other than that, he was unstoppable. After stumbling over the word pineapple for a few seconds, Alex continued recalling a story about an extremely hectic food delivery to his base. John talked about a few things, but let Alex hold the conversation for the most part. John wasn't exactly a fan of talking about his life, and Alex seemed to catch on, not pushing, and not asking too many questions. They ended up both getting another hot dog, and then ice cream. Alex went on a quick rant about gentrification and how black and Hispanic New Yorkers were being pushed out, and John was infatuated.

Alex was incredibly smart, and John adored it. Everything that came out of his mouth was well thought out. Even Alex's unplanned thoughts that he just spat out were educated and perfect. John had never done too great with academics, and he wasn't exactly the brightest, but he just loved every word that Alex said. Just being around Alex made him feel clever, which he enjoyed, since a lot of his life he’d been made to think he was dumb. Alex just felt safer than any other men John had ever been with. Dating women is self-care, dating men is self-harm, but being here with Alex, it was just bliss.

They stumbled back into Alex's house at two in the morning, laughing over some stupid story Alex was telling. They got to the living room and fell onto the couch, Alex sitting close to John. John had his arm around Alex's shoulders, smiling and sighing, the smell of the dirty and sweaty New York streets still lingering to their clothes. John felt dirty, but at the same time, he didn't really care. Alex, who had grown accustomed to feeling gross from the New York streets, didn't even notice as he stared up into John's hazel green eyes. John pushed a few strands of hair away from Alex's face, smiling lightly.

"So, are you gonna kiss me?" Alex asked softly.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" John replied, his fingertips running over the scarring on the side of Alex's face. Tiny streaks of pink and white skin, raised a bit, scattered across his left cheek, down to his neck and onto his chest. A perfect design of hair meant specifically to hide them, though John found himself pushing Alex's hair away so he could really see his face.

"I do," Alex replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

John smiled, then leaned in. Alex met him halfway and they both pressed their lips together firmly. John sighed, lacing his fingers through Alex's and pushing the older man back onto the couch. They pulled away for a second, getting situated so John was lying between Alex's thighs, and continued kissing. John found himself raking his fingers through Alex's hair as he slipped his tongue into Alex’s mouth. Alex moaned at the contact, wrapping his legs around John's waist and subtly grinding up against him.

"Ah," Alex moaned as John began kissing down to Alex's neck. This time, his lips weren't so gentle, and he began nipping and sucking on the space right at the base of Alex's neck. The older man squeezed John's hand harder, sighing deeply as John worked his magic. An unexpected groan escaped Alex's lips when John ground down onto him.

"Fuck," John swore, pulling tightly on Alex's hair.

"John, John, if we're gonna do something, we can't do it on my couch," Alex mumbled. "We're gonna get stuff on the couch."

"Okay, okay, your room or mine?" John grunted, sitting up. The tent in his pants was quite obvious, but Alex was sporting one too.

"I don't care," Alex gasped, sitting up and trying to capture John's lips again.

"Alright, mine," John decided, standing up and pulling Alex up with him. The two of them stumbled up the stairs, hands slipping between the other's legs, lips tangled together. John pulled Alex into his room and the two of them collapsed onto John's bed. John pinned down Alex's wrists, feverishly kissing him and grinding on him. Alex felt helpless, his breath coming out in small high pitched noises and little gasps. The late night and the fact that John had almost been up for twenty-four hours affected their actions, seeing as John was too tired to become as dominant as he could be.

John sat up, pulling Alex up so that the older man was straddling his lap. The sound of zippers rang through the room, and suddenly, John was spitting on his hand to stroke Alex's cock. Alex mirrored his actions, grabbing John's cock, moving with quick, short actions, and sucking on John's tongue. The air was hot, and sweat dripped down John's back. Alex moaned much louder than he intended to when John began kissing down his neck, working a bit more at the hickey he started.

"John, mmf," Alex groaned thickly, his free hand yanking out the hair ties that kept John's hair braided and gently working the braids loose. It didn't take long for John's hair to flow over his shoulders like a waterfall, and Alex grabbed a handful of it, tugging as he jutted his hips upward. John used Alex's hair against him, wrenching the man back into a kiss. John bit Alex's lip harshly, bringing a squeal from Alex. Precome dripped over both their hands and John began to see why Alex didn't want to go any farther on the couch.

"Alex, fuck," John groaned in surprise as Alex ran his hand over John's tip. Both their hands moved rapidly as their lips melted together. Alex was rocking lightly, and John couldn't help but lean up for more. The taste of Alex's lips were almost intoxicating, and John wanted -no- he needed more. Every sentence Alex had ever spoken came from those perfect Carribean lips, and John wanted to taste the intelligence left on them. Despite his detestation for the play, John couldn't help comparing this moment in his head to Juliet, desperately kissing Romeo, hoping that there is still poison left on his lips. Alex had something, something, and it made John feel drunk. It made him feel like little stars were shooting from his fingertips.

"I'm close," Alex mumbled against John's mouth, pushing hair out of John's face so it would stop getting in the way of the kiss. John gave a sharp tug to Alex's hair, causing a whine to escape the man. Finally, Alex came, dirtying John's shirt and pants, as well as his own. John hadn't quite finished yet, so Alex continued, scooting back and carefully lowering his head to suck on John's tip.

"Ah! Alex!" John moaned, falling backward and arching his back. His hand tightly gripped Alex's hair, which did hurt Alex, but in the best way. Finally, John was thrusting up into Alex's mouth, sighing heavily as Alex drank his cum. Alex let John ride out his high until the man went soft again, then sat up, looking down at John. The younger man looked disheveled; shirt pushed up to show his stomach, pants down to the middle of his thighs. He was definitely gorgeous, and Alex could not deny that.

"Do you, do you wanna sleep in my room tonight?" Alex requested. "With me?"

John smiled, pushing himself up onto his elbows. "Yeah, sure. It seems that my sheets have, well, they've been made a mess of, so I wouldn't mind sleeping in a clean bed."

Alex chuckled. "I, uh, I only really sleep with a sheet over me, so if you want extra blankets or something, you can bring them, I just don't like more than a simple sheet over me. Is that okay?"

John nodded. "A sheet is just fine. I usually sleep with no blankets over me, or else I just end up kicking them off by the end of the night."

Alex smiled. "Alright, I'm gonna go take my meds. Feel free to change into your pajamas or something and make yourself at home. You can meet my fish, her tank is in my room."

"Oh, hell yeah," John laughed, watching Alex get up and pull his pants back up. Alex left and John stripped down and changed into a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt..

John couldn’t remember ever actually having seen Alex's room before, so this was going to be a first. He pushed open the door and turned on the light. It was, it was different than John had thought. John’d expected some messy pigsty with an atrocious interior design theme, as well as the smell of an unshowered man, but this was... not that. The walls were a light blue, and the bed had a single grey sheet over it with grey pillowcases. The floor was hardwood, like everywhere else in the house, barring only the living room. A few framed pictures were hung up on the walls, a dresser, a closet, a single nightstand, a single bedside table with a lamp and a large fish tank on it, and a hamper full of dirty clothes. It smelled like detergent and Febreeze.

John first went to look at the fish. It was a beta, red and white, happily swimming around it a clean tank. John then looked out the window Alex had at the backyard, smiling a bit. His eyes trailed to the pictures on the walls. John almost couldn't recognize Alex in them. He looked way different than he did now. Short buzzed hair, a strong build, no scars, no bags under his eyes. All of the pictures were just a few people standing together wearing army uniforms. Alex, Thomas, and a girl. Thomas, the same girl, and two other guys. Alex and Washington. Alex, Washington, Thomas, the two guys, and the girl.

"Those were my friends. The ones who didn't die still are," Alex said. John whipped around in surprise and found Alex standing next to him.

"That's Washington and Thomas, you know them, that's my ex-wife's sister, Angelica, that's Aaron, the guy who was missing for the past couple months, and that's..." Alex sighed gently, his finger pointing to the last man who, in the picture, was smiling broadly with his arm around Alex, his middle finger up. "That's my friend Jay."

"He looks fun," John grinned, nudging Alex.

Alex nodded, smiling. "He was." Alex heard the unasked question in John's mind and just decided to give him an answer. "He died in combat. It was a stupid mistake, one that could only be made by him. He was twenty-seven."

"I'm sorry," John said softly, taking Alex's hand.

Alex just shrugged, looking at John with a small smile. "It's okay. He had a good life, and he was a good person." Alex gently pulled John towards the bed. "Come on, you look tired."

John nodded and followed Alex. They went to either side of the bed and climbed in, lying on their sides and facing each other, after Alex to took off his prosthetic. Alex smiled and pushed John's hair out of his face, leaning in for another short kiss.

"Do you usually kiss on the first date?" Alex inquired, letting his hands slide down John's sides and under the young man's tee shirt, his fingers dancing across soft skin.

"If I like them," John teased. A sigh escaped his lips, remembering telling Maria he was gonna take this slow. Then again, he really was taking it a lot slower than he did with Francis. He started dating Francis almost immediately after meeting him, opened up about a lot of stuff really quickly. John was quickly realizing that Alex didn't know a whole lot about John. The younger man didn't exactly mind that though. He wasn't exactly in favor of opening up to people after his last relationship, so he found relief in the knowledge that Alex didn’t know too much.

"I'm glad you like me," Alex muttered, cuddling a bit closer to John. John hooked his arm around Alex's waist, then closed his eyes. The smell of tea tree oil filled John's nose, and he sighed. Alex's hand moved down and his fingertips slipped under the hem of John's sweatpants, gracing the top of John's ass. John smiled, then slowly let his mind wander until he drifted off into a deep sleep.

Both Alex and John woke up around twelve-thirty to Alex's phone ringing. Through the night, they’d adjusted so John was on his back and Alex was curled up into his side. Alex had woken up at six am but hadn’t wanted to get out of bed, so he stayed with John until he fell asleep again. Grunting, Alex rolled over and grappled for his phone while John whined about the noise. Alex pressed accept and curled back into John's side.

"Mmf, what?" Alex grumbled.

"Good afternoon!" Lafayette greeted cheerfully. "Are you and John both still alive?"

"Yeah," Alex groaned, burying his face in John's neck.

"Good! Was it a late night?" Lafayette asked as Alex put him on speaker.

"Two in the morning," John mumbled. "Why are you calling?"

"Well, John said he'd be here by noon, and it is noon-thirty, and we don't mind watching Phillip more, he is wonderful, but Hercules got worried that something had happened to John, and when he didn't pick up the phone, Herc began to feel the anxious. Feel the anxious, feel the anxious." Lafayette paused. "That's not right. That's not the right phrasing. Herc had anxious. No, no, he, uh-"

"He felt anxious or he had anxiety," John suggested.

"Yes, that," Lafayette hurrahed. "Anyway, John wasn't picking up his phone, and Herc felt anxiety, so I called you Alex. I now see that you both are fairly cozied up to each other, so I think I should leave you two alone." Lafayette paused, then chuckled. "Yes, lovely, they're both okay. I am pretty sure they fell asleep together last night."

"We did not, we just slept in the same bed," John groaned, running his fingers through Alex's tangled hair.

"Hi, John!" Herc called into the phone.

"Hi, papa," Phillip sang.

John instantly perked up, smiling sleepily. "Hey, buddy! How was your night?"

"It was awesome," Phillip confirmed. "Me and uncle Herc and Lafayette, and William all watched movies, and ate French toast sticks, and Lafayette made pudding for us, and we watched super cool movies! I also colored you and Alex pictures, and Lafayette taught me some French words, like how to say 'my name is.' So now I can introduce myself in Paris."

"Yeah? How do you do that?" John smiled, closing his eyes and listening to Phillip's voice.

"Salut, je m'appelle Phillip Laurens," The young boy recited.

"Wow!" John cheered. "That was really good! I'm so proud of you, Pippi. Papa will come to pick you up soon, okay?"

"When's soon?" Phillip asked.

John thought for a moment, then checked the time. "One o'clock. Okay?"

"Okay," Phillip nodded.

"I love you, buddy," John sighed happily, pushing some hair out of his face. "I can't wait to see you."

"I love you too, Papa," Phillip replied.

"Alright, Herc, I'll see you both soon," John confirmed. "I gotta shower, get dressed, and then I'll head right over."

"Oh, yeah, I bet you have to shower," Herc snickered.

John snorted. "Yeah, your mom was really gross."

"Whatever man," Hercules laughed. "See you soon."

"See you soon," John replied before the line went dead. John groaned, burying his face back into the pillow. "I can't believe we slept this late."

Alex smiled and gently buried his head in John's neck, pressing his lips to the soft skin. John laughed and pushed Alex onto his back, pinning the man down and peppering his face with kisses. Alex squealed and giggled, gently straining his hands against John pinning him down. John gently caught Alex's lips in a kiss and sighed, feeling quite content in the moment.

"I really should go relieve Herc of my son," John admitted, nipping at Alex's bottom lip.

"I bet you do," Alex smiled. "Or..."

"Funny," John snorted, sitting up and straddling Alex's waist. "You wanna come?"

"Do you want me to come or do you just want a ride?" Alex teased, finding John's hands again and lacing their fingers together.

"Maybe," John gazed down at Alex’s swollen lips. "I want both."

Alex sighed, rolling his eyes. "Go, shower. I'll be ready when you are."

"Alright," John snorted, sitting up and climbing off of Alex. John shot Alex one last charming smiled before stepping out of the room, and for a moment, Alex could only sigh. It was as if everything he had been dreaming about for the past two months had come true. He had always wondered what John was like when he first woke up and was pleasantly surprised to find the man was a bit grumpy, but cute. Also, hot damn, John was a great kisser. Alex figured this was probably from a whole lot of practice, but he didn't mind.

Alex pushed himself to the edge and grabbed his leg, as well as the covering for his stump. It was a little bit of a process to get the leg on and off, but Alex had time. After he put in the multiple layers of coverings, he slid on his leg and stood up, leaning on it and waiting for the sound of the pin clicking to fill the room. After a few seconds, it clicked, and Alex began to go through his daily routine. He got dressed, drank coffee, brushed his teeth, and then read the newspaper while he waited for John come downstairs.

John came down a few minutes later, hair still damp, dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and a hoodie since the weather was getting cooler. Alex got up to go, but John stopped him, standing in front of him and pulling down the collar of his shirt to look at the hickey.

"Pretty," John commented.

Alex smiled and almost blushed at the comment, then lead the way to the car. John put in a CD for some artist Alex hadn't heard, and the two rode in silence, though that didn't erase the fact that John's hand was placed over Alex's on the center console. They got to Herc's apartment, where Lafayette said they all were in a short text after the facetime call. John quick to get out, happy to have spent time with Alex, but still missing his son. John had slight separation anxiety when it came to Phillip. Phillip usually seemed okay, but John never really enjoyed it all that much. He could do it, but he wasn't the biggest fan of it.

John knocked on Herc's door three times, and Lafayette opened it, smiling. John had never seen Lafayette in casual clothes, so it was interesting to look at the usually elegant and designer man dressed in a simple pair of grey sweatpants and a tank top. John and Alex stepped in smiling at the sounds of Phillip and William singing the Johnny Test theme song.

"Good afternoon, John," Herc said from the kitchen table.

John sat down with Herc, Alex, and Lafayette at the table for coffee. John puzzled at his friend, who had a knowing smirk on his face. "What?"

"It seems you caught a couple eyes last night," Lafayette cleared up, opening his phone and handing it to Alex. John leaned over so he could see the Tabloid headline with a picture of him and Alex on the date. They captured them at such a moment to where it looked like John was giving Alex a full blown hickey. Lafayette laughed as he pulled down Alex's shirt to reveal John’s work. "And a mark to match. I should've asked Washington to chaperone. Keep things, what is the term, P.G."

"Ooh, okay, this is actually creative," Alex chimed, reading the title. He was used to tabloids at this point, and the picture didn't bother him. Everyone he worked with had some shocking tabloid headline on them, amd it had become more entertainment to them. "Leader of the budget division, Alexander Hamilton, romps around New York with his 'platonic' young sugar baby, rumored to be 25 year old, John Laurens." Alex paused to laugh. "That is a nice picture though."

"You're okay with this?" John questioned.

Alex shrugged, sitting back and handing Lafayette's phone back to him. "I'm in the public eye, this happens all the time. I think my all time favorite was when Lafayette and I were supposed to be dating. Laf, what about you?"

"Oh, no, I do really like that one," Lafayette chuckled. "The picture of you helping me into the car when you picked me up from a bar was actually quite sweet. My personal favorite, though, was the rumors going around that I was an illegal immigrant from Africa. I mean, like, two things. First of all, I'm legal. Second of all, my name is Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette. Last time I checked, I am very French."

Alex laughed and leaned back. "The tabloids aren't going to affect you, I promise. No one gives a damn if they claim I'm sleeping with the queen of England. Until a legitimate news outlet picks it up, no one will believe it."

"So, I don't have to worry about being fired?" John confirmed.

Alex scoffed. "They aren't even reporting on a fireable offense. You kissed my neck a couple of times in central park, boo hoo. I'm probably gonna get more shit than you on Monday. Thomas is gonna have a fucking vacation, teasing me and shit for going on a date."

"Peggy won the pool," Lafayette pointed out.

"What pool?" Herc asked curiously.

"There's a pool going for all of our single employees on when their next date will be. Alex won my pool, John Adams won Peggy's, and Peggy won Alex's." Lafayette laughed. "The girl called me this morning and made sure I knew to not let anyone touch the cash."

"How did the date go?" Herc realize, looking at John.

John smiled. "It actually went really well, I think." John looked to Alex for some confirmation, then smiled when he received a nod. "Uh, we saw the first half of a silent move, ate some New York street food, walked around the city for a while. We got back home around two in the morning."

"And then?" Lafayette pushed, smiling.

"And then we read our bibles and went to sleep," John scoffed. "How was y'all's night? Was Phillip too rowdy or anything?"

Herc shook his head. "No, Phillip's never rowdy, but dude, you never send Phillip over with his bonnets, you need to stop forgetting. I always have extra though, but Phillip should get used to bringing it to other people's houses."

"I'm sorry, since when does Phillip have a bonnet?" John laughed, giving Herc an odd look. "Like, the kind pioneers wear?"

Herc just gasped, his eyes wide. "Do you at least have silk or satin pillowcases?"

John creased his brows and shook his head.

Hercules was aghast. "You mean to tell me that the gorgeous Puerto Rican and African hair that Phillip adorns has been sleeping with no bonnet on cotton pillowcases?"

John's eyes widened even more. "Uh, yeah?"

Herc gasped. "How could you, Johnathan? I must give you my knowledge. Our hair gets nappy if it succumbs to cotton pillowcases. Phillip's hair is gorgeous regardless, but if you used a satin headscarf or satin pillowcases or something it would be a lot easier to manage." Herc seemed almost in shock. "Really, John, you have to get something to protect Phillip's hair from the nighttime wear."

"Hold on, hold on, I need to write this down," John paused, pulling out his phone. "Okay, so, satin pillowcases? Or a satin headscarf? Is it important that it's satin or silk?"

"Yes, very," Herc nodded, running his hand over his hair.

"Alright. I can just get the pillowcases at like, Target or something right? And then the bonnets can just be satin scarves, yeah?" John asked.

Herc nodded. "I'm glad we're having this conversation down before Phillip's hair gets too long. It can get crazy damaged if it's long and unprotected."

"Okay, I got this, I learn something new about Phillip's hair every day," John chuckled, putting his phone away. "Okay, so I need to stop by Target."

"Let's just go on our way back," Alex suggested. "Two birds with one stone."

"Perfect," John smiled.

"Oh, Alexander James Hamilton, before I forget," Lafayette realized. "Washington would like me to request that you team up with Peggy and brainstorm with her for a little bit on Monday on the subject of the schooling budget. Peggy has been working nonstop, sending out surveys to school for the students to voice about which subject they would like to see better funding for. She has spent her whole weekend looking them over, and then she would like to talk to you to discuss how much money can be redirected, and such things."

"Got it. Thanks Laf," Alex nodded, leaning back.

"Your middle name is James?" John asked, looking over at Alex.

Alex nodded casually, though John couldn't help but notice the slight set of his jaw. "It was after my father."

John hummed, deciding to bring Alex off the subject of his father. "My middle name is Henry, which my brother always teases me about since his first name is Henry. He likes to say they gave me that name because he was so great, but what he doesn't realize is that I was already ten when he was born."

Alex laughed, coming out of his mood. "Oh, nice."

"Papa!" Phillip gasped. He had just realized his father was there, and he came running into the kitchen, jumping up on John's lap. John laughed, hugging Phillip and kissing the little kid’s head. Phillip hugged John back, happy to see his father. The scene was so cute that Alex couldn't help but smile at them. John looked so excited to have his son back in his arms, and Phillip looked as though it was the coolest thing in the world, seeing his dad.

"Hey, buddy," John laughed, kissing the top of Phillip's head again. "How're you?"

"I'm good," Phillip replied, touching John's hair.

"Are you about ready to head home?" John asked sweetly, not wanting to make the kid sooner than he had to.

Phillip nodded.

"Alright, let me go help you pack up," John said, standing up, keeping Phillip in his arms, and walking over to the living room to help.

Alex sighed. "You know, I never really saw myself as a family man, but that-" Alex nodded over to John and Phillip, who were sort of dancing as they talked to William and got packed up. "I could very easily adjust to that."

"Phillip really likes you," Herc confirmed. "He talks about you just as much as he talks about John. You must be real special, because neither of those boys has ever really liked someone for this long. I mean, the last time they did, Phillip was three, but that was it. You, you are definitely someone important in their lives." Herc's tone changed a bit, becoming more serious as he stared down Alex. "Don't hurt them."

Alex shook his head. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Good," Herc nodded. He looked back over to John. "I've known him since he was nineteen, almost twenty, and I care about the kid a lot, and his kid. He's my best friend."

Alex grinned. "He's pretty great."

John and Phillip finished packing and walked back over, Phillip holding John's hand. John stood in the doorway to the kitchen looking at Alex, admiring the man for a second. "Hey, ‘Lex, I'm ready, are you?"

Alex nodded, standing up. "Yup."

John leaned down to hug Herc, then Lafayette. "Thank you guys for babysitting, I really appreciate it."

"No problem, John. See you soon," Herc promised, patting John's back.

"Yeah, definitely," John confirmed, walking out of the apartment, waiting for Alex to say his goodbyes. After Alex finished, the three of them walked back to Alex's car, listening to Phillip talk about his evening. The little kid was holding at least ten pieces of paper, all with different pictures on them. Alex smiled as he listened to Phillip talk about his night, laughing as the kid described karaoke, as well as how he and William stayed up until midnight.

"Okay, Target," John reminded himself as Alex parked in the side of the street. John got out and walked inside, Phillip on his hip. Alex was trotting to keep up. He noticed that John became very focussed when he needed to get something done. You couldn’t break his train of thought if you tried. It was cute.

"Alright, Phillip, pick out a scarf," John told Phillip, setting him down in the scarf section.

Phillip ran his hand alone a couple scarves, then pulled them away, wiping his hand on his pants to get the texture off, then going to touch John's shirt, which seemed to rid Phillip of the texture from the first few scarves. Phillip felt a couple of them, until he stopped, feeling a final one.

"This one," Phillip said, holding up a light yellow one. "Yellow is my favorite color, and uncle Herc always gives me the yellow one because he says it makes my eyes look nice."

John chuckled. "The yellow one it is."

They went and picked out some satin pillowcases, blue, like Phillip's race car bed. When they finished that, they drove back home, feeling relaxed. John prepared lunch for Phillip while Alex retreated into his office to do some work with the budget planning.

As the cool October air began to blow in, John began to subtly plan out Halloween. It was the one holiday that all his single parent friends splurged on a babysitter for, then went out and partied like there was no tomorrow. Clubs or house parties, it didn't matter. All of them got drunk and ended up crashing at the closest apartment. Three hundred and sixty-four days of the year, they were responsible and good, but on Halloween? That was a different story.

Monday rolled around and Alex walked into the office with a few fresh hickeys. John hadn't made it a habit of sleeping in the same bed, but that didn't rule out a quick, feverish makeout session in the kitchen after Phillip had gone to bed. This time, it didn't lead to any messy handjobs, but grinding was involved, and Alex found himself with his hand between his thighs later that night. John opted to leave the bit of tension that was left between his hips, hoping the sexual frustration would come in handy at one point.

"Well, would you look what the cat dragged in."

Peggy smirked as Alex hobbled into her office, a thick file under his arm. "Somebody’s been a naughty, naughty boy. Groping your little sugar baby-sex toy in central park for all the world to see? And what is that?" Peggy grabbed Alex's chin and jerked it upwards, eyes raking over the three hickeys marring Alex's neck. "Tsk, tsk, Alex. I must say, I am truly disappointed."

"Listen to you, hemming and hawing while you're yucking it up with Sally Hemmings," Alex shot back, laughing as he sat down in front of her desk.

"I will have you know, Sally Hemings and I both thoroughly enjoy gentle snuggles being the farthest we go." Peggy pulled out a few files and opened them up. "We're not like you men. We don't decide it's time to dry hump each other on our living room couch after talking for two minutes." Peggy’s demeanor changed and she smiled, looking down. "She came to the mosque with me on Friday. She was so kind, and she let me talk about my beliefs and she was just so nice." Peggy sighed, then snapped her head back up. "But we're here to talk about schools. How did you do in the budgeting?"

Alex bit his lip. "We don't have as much money as we did last year. Currently, we have fifty billion dollars in the budget for education."

"That’s not good enough!" Peggy protested. "We need more. What can we cut? What is unnecessary?"

Alex sighed, looking through a few papers. "We just, we're really tight this year."

"Can't we take, like, half a billion from a couple different sections and put it towards education?" Peggy argued. "You don't understand, Alex. I spent all of last week in schools, talking to kids. Art and music programs are desperately underfunded. Hercules is working with paint brushes that have been there longer than he has. Schools need new instruments, schools need new art supplies. There has to be something no one has thought about that could help us."

Alex nodded. "No, Peggy, we could pull half a billion from a lot of these sections, which would give us..." Alex went down the list, adding up the math in his head of every section he could take money from. He didn't touch financial aid for the homeless, health care, important things that Jay would've argued should be free. He figured he could lower the salary of every government worker for this year and get the half billion from there. He did the math of what would happen if he raised tobacco taxes, liquor taxes, and gun taxes. His brain was firing on every cylinder, and he was grateful Peggy wasn't disturbing him, though the girl knew that Alex needed to think. He thought about the consequences of taking more than half a billion out of construction, thinking about the jobs, but then also thinking about what the education department needed. Alex sighed, looking up. "If we raised taxes on liquor, guns, and tobacco, and sales taxes by one percent, took half a billion from a few sections, we could get about, uh, I'm gonna say, sixty-three billion for education? Do you think that would work? It's eight billion more than last year, and I know that's not much, but-"

Peggy cut him off. "No, that's perfect. Okay, I can figure this out. I'm going to ask every art and music teacher to give me the best guess of how much it would cost to replace all the instruments and materials. Hey, how are we doing on funding for LGBT support corporations?"

"We have fifty million to support the three hundred across the state," Alex informed her, handing her a few papers. "Okay. Is there anything else we need? I'm going to have to discuss these tax raises and budget adjustments with Washington and Monroe."

"Uh, no, I think that's it for now," Peggy decided. "In case you need backup against Monroe, since I know how he feels about people actually having joy, you may have these testaments I collected from teachers and students." Peggy handed Alex a few papers. "Please, Alex, I need you to do everything you can. I can't, I can't let these kids down, I can't let these teachers down. Alex, they have no one else standing up for them. Please, you have to help."

Alex nodded, standing up. "I'll do everything I can. We have Washington on our side. I'm not going to let you down, I promise."

Peggy snorted and sat back in her seat. "If Liza knew you and I were this close, she'd have a brain aneurysm."

"How's she doing?" Alex inquired. "She's still in London?"

Peggy nodded. "Yeah, she's working somewhere. She's still as crazy as ever. She asks about you sometimes, since she knows we work together. I always tell her you're buried in work and don't have time to be with people."

"Thank you," Alex laughed. "Nothing against you, but your sister strikes fear into my heart. Like, I think I would scream if I saw her again."

"Hey, dude, I was there for family dinners, no need to convince me," Peggy grinned. "Go, save our schools, Hamilton."

"I'll do my best," Alex told her, leaving her office. He walked down the halls to Washington's office, bursting in without knocking. "Sir, We need to underfund everything except schools and hospitals!"

"Do go on," Washington requested in a sarcastic tone, one eyebrow cocked.

"We actually need Monroe for this meeting to go on," Alex continued, taken aback.

Washington pulled out his phone, pressing a few numbers, then waiting for a second. "Hello, Monroe? Please escort yourself to my office for a meeting." Washington hung up the phone and looked to Alex. "Where is this coming from?"

"I just had my meeting with Peggy, and she informed me that our state's schools need new art supplies and instruments and they’ve no funding to work with," Alexander explained. "We haven't splurged on schools like this in fifteen years, and sir, if you are looking for re-election, I think having the school board behind you would be incredibly helpful."

"Sir, you asked to see me?" James Monroe called, peeking his head into the room.

"Come in, sit down, Hamilton wanted to discuss funding with you and me," Washington explained. "He has suggested that this year, we focus our finding towards mainly schools and hospitals-"

Alex cut him off. "As well as financial aid towards veterans and homeless."

Washington nodded. "How do you propose we find the money to get every school in the state of New York new art supplies and new instruments?"

"Well," Alex started, pulling out some papers and setting them on Washington's desk for everyone to see. "We could raise liquor and tobacco and gun taxes but two point five percent, and then we can raise the sales tax by another percent. If we take small amounts of money from other areas, say, our paychecks, and luxuries this state has, we could raise the schooling budget from fifty billion, which is where it currently stands, to sixty-three billion, which would most likely fund the replacement of art supplies and musical instruments."

"Can you justify this?" Monroe asked. "Hamilton, you are suggesting giving everyone who was elected a pay decrease, after you denied them a pay increase. You have millions of dollars beings stacked up in a bank account that you refuse to use, and yet you suggest raising taxes again, which could put pressure on not only the governor but other elected officials to speak out against this. Not only that but you, as someone who has put your full support behind the governor, should know that this lowers the chances of his re-election."

"Yes, we'll be raising taxes, but look at the end result!" Alexander argued.

"People don't care about the end result, Alex! You, out of all people, should know this! What even is the end result? Shiny new toys for art students to play with?" Monroe continued.

"No! The end result is that two high ignored subjects in schools will be compensated! The world is full of young artists, and we need to support them!" Alex shot back.

"I'm not going to support a career in which they will go broke," Monroe argued. "Sir, you can't possibly be considering granting thirteen billion dollars for Hamilton's plan to defund everything, and everyone else, so that art students can have new toys."

"New Toys?" Alex cried, incredulous. "How can you express so much sympathy towards the homeless, yet none for the younger generation?"

"Because art is what is going to make these people homeless!" Monroe insisted. "Alexander, honestly, how many art students have become the next Picasso? The next Banksy or Bach? You are trying to overfund classes that provide absolutely no life skills!!"

"I swear, I'm about to take off my leg and beat you!" Alex growled, losing his professional mask. "You don't fucking deserve a brain!"

“In short, your head is empty, as per usual, of blustered defense for wasting the taxpayers’ money.” Monroe rolled his eyes.

"Alright!" Washington finally intervene. "Enough, enough. Both of you make valid points. Hamilton, we cannot offer you the thirteen billion you’ve asked for, it's just not realistic. We have other priorities, and the arts are not the only program that have gone underfunded this year. I can offer you half that amount, six and a half billion, so your budget will be fifty-six and a half billion. Monroe, Hamilton does make a valid point, arts are very important." Washington turned to Alex, sighing. "We can’t get you any more money for this, but before Peggy comes in and bites my head off, tell her I will okay any fundraisers she’d like to organize. Just because the government can provide only so much, doesn't mean the private citizen cannot help."

Alex nodded, eyes down, grabbing his papers and slamming his file shut. "Fine."

One slam of the door later, Alex was out of Washington's office and angrily walking towards the breakroom. When he got there, he turned on the coffee machine, stewing in his own vexation as he waited for the coffee to be ready. His argument was perfect and he knew it. He would've one, but he did need approval from James Monroe, who was a heartless asshole when it came to the younger generation.

"Someone looks angry," Thomas observed as he walked in. "Washington told me you were pissed, wanna talk about it?"

"I hate James Monroe, and I'm pissed at Washington for listening to him!" Alex yelled, smacking the wall. "I mean, do they not understand that schools have been cheated from proper funding for the arts for years, and suddenly, we could give them one year where they get a fresh start in the way they express themselves. All I asked for was new supplies, but no! Since when do the arts not matter? This isn't a justifiable decision for them! This is ignoring art students!"

"Hey, whoa, deep breaths," Thomas coaxed.

"No! I'm angry about this, Thomas! I'm angry because these kids have worked hard for their passion, and for what? For the government to tell them that they don’t matter as much as a fat pay check?" Alex scoffed. "It doesn't matter if they're not going to be the next Leonardo Da Vinci or Beethoven, or whatever he said! What matters is that they get educated in what they love!" Alex yanked out the papers Peggy gave him, the papers from teachers speaking on the importance of art, the papers from students speaking about their love. "Peggy had sent me some of these, and it broke my heart to read them." Alex voice nearly broke as he handed them to Thomas. "I mean, look at that. I'm not angry because they aren't agreeing with me, I'm angry because I feel like I'm letting all these people down. They deserve just as much of a chance as anyone else!"

Thomas sighed, reading the papers over. "Has Washington read these?"

Alex shook his head, covering his eyes with his hand, throat scratchy.

"Come on," Thomas grumbled, pulling Alex back down the hall and towards Washington's office. It was rare that Thomas agreed with Alex when it came to politics, so Alex found himself growing excited as Thomas burst through the door of the office. James Monroe was still there, and they in the middle of discussing something. Thomas slammed the papers onto Washington's desk, glaring almost. "I think you should read over these, and then seriously reconsider your decision."

"Thomas, what is this?" Washington scoffed, eyebrows knit together, flipping through the papers.

"It's the voice of your citizens, talking about how important art and music programs are to students, especially at such a transitional time," Alex snapped. "We have cheated these kids out of an expansive education into the arts. One of your campaign promises was to improve school funding, and you need to stick to it."

Thomas and Alex walked out of the office, still angry, but a bit hopeful. Thomas looked over at Alex, noticing the hickey just sticking out from his collar. "I'm guessing the date went well, by the way."

Alex remembered the hickey and blushed. "It went very well, I think. We ended the night with some satisfying handjobs, and we made out a lot. Then we slept in the same bed together and when we woke up, John kissed me even more. This morning, when I dropped him off for work, he kissed me again, and ma he looked so shy, it was adorable. What about you and James?"

"Well, uh, I kinda backed off," Thomas admitted.

"Good, and?" Alex prompted.

"And nothing," Thomas replied, way too passively, as they entered the break room. "He's just not interested."

Alex clapped Thomas' shoulder, smiling empathetically. "Well, on the bright side, there are plenty of macaroni's in the bowl, so I would suggest just going out, having a one night stand or something. Love is a fickle thing, and you'll build something real nice with someone, yeah?"

Thomas nodded. "Yeah. Thanks."

Alex smiled, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Alright, well, I got about eight other things to work out before I can have an actual break, so I'll see you in a bit. If you see Laf, tell him I need to have a meeting with him about immigration services and how much they need. I know they had a surplus last year, but with the inflation of immigrants coming to New York, I don't think they'll have another."

"Will do," Thomas confirmed.

"Okay, thanks man," Alex laughed, leaving the breakroom and heading back to his office. He got there and sipped his coffee, sitting down and beginning to do the work. He glanced up occasionally at the flower John got him, which he had pressed, and leaned up against a picture frame. It was just a little white daisy, nothing special, but it was beautiful to him.

Alex got through a few things before he began to miss being home with John and Phillip. They were awfully fun to share a home with. Phillip was always so happy, and they always had fun things to do. Even if Alex was losing terribly at a board game, or watching a movie about a talking dog playing basketball, he was having fun. He got to hang out with the two people who had seriously brightened his life up. At this point, it had gotten difficult to remember what his house had looked like sans Phillip's artworks, fruit snacks, and glowing stars on the ceiling.

Alex leaned back, cracked his neck, and sighed, thinking about Phillip and John. They were both such wonderful people. He really hoped this living situation, among other things, worked out, because he wouldn't mind keeping their little family around. He wouldn't mind waking up on Saturday mornings with John and making pancakes and watching cartoons, then walking to the park. He’d always thought of children's birthday parties to be a headache he’d always avoid, but here he was, getting excited, thinking about what to get the five-year-old when he turned six in January.

"Man," Alex sighed, running his finger through his hair. "I am whipped."


	9. John is a college kid at heart and Alex does NOT dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title: James deserves a nap

Alex was annoyed when his phone began buzzing. It was Halloween, and he was still at work, since it was only three in the afternoon. Plans had been made, and honestly, he was excited. A babysitter had been hired to watch William, Phillip, Payne, and Beverly, and a party was being thrown at Jefferson's pompous bachelor pad. Sally, John, Herc, and a reluctant James were going to be in attendance, as well as Peggy, Laf, Alex, Thomas, and a lot of their coworkers. Plus, Maria, a few of Sally's friends, a few teachers from Herc's work, and Lafayette's close friend, Adrienne had been invited. Alex was swamped, and was attempting to finish everything he need to get done before the party, so he wasn't in the mood for a telemarketer.

"Hello?" Alex sighed.

"Hey!" Chimed a voice. "Alex, it's James. I'm John's friend, you guys brought me rice pudding, Thomas pined over me for a while, remember?"

"Oh! Yeah, of course, I remember," Alex laughed, happy that it wasn't a telemarketer, and glad to hear from James again.

"Listen, listen, I really, really, really hate to ask this of you, but everyone else I know is busy, and I have a staff meeting in twenty minutes. I just picked Payne up and I have nowhere for him to go, and I was wondering if I could maybe drop him off at your office for a bit? I know, I know, I'm an irresponsible parent for this. I should've figured something better out, but I can't leave him home alone, and my friend just bailed on me because of a family emergency and I really have nowhere else to take him and I don't want him to be unsupervised, and you wouldn't have to give him his meds or anything, but I would leave his inhaler in case he had an attack and it's really easy to use and if you can't then that's okay. I know this really is a long shot, but John said you were okay with kids and I just-"

Alex cut James off. "James, dude. It's okay. Bring him on over. I'll meet you in the lobby, and you can walk up to my office with us, or if you need to go you can-"

"Great, I'm in the parking lot," James said quickly before hanging up.

"Um, okay," Alex mumbled, getting up and walking downstairs to the lobby. James looked the way he usually did; verging on goth, frazzled, and sick. He had on a dark grey sweater over a white dress shirt, and some black dress pants. Payne looked like a normal kid, though Alex couldn't miss the light bruises on the tops of his hands, the kind that came from IV's. Alex realized that James probably wasn't the only one in and out of hospitals.

"Hey, come on up," Alex smiled, waving to them and leading them upstairs. "I can take him anywhere you need after work. I'll be here until five thirty, and if you need me to-"

James cut him off. "No, no, I'll pick him up at five, the meeting will definitely be over by then. Thank you, though. Will I see you at the party tonight?"

Alex nodded. "Yes, you will."

James looked pleased. "Wonderful." James pulled Payne's inhaler from his pocket, handing it to Alex. "Look, he can't use it by himself yet. Have you ever had to use an inhaler or help someone else use one?"

Alex shook his head.

"It's very simple," James assured. "What you do is take the cap off the mouthpiece and stick in Payne's mouth. Once you do that, you tell him to breathe in, and you press down on the top at the same time. Three times, and if he's still having an attack, you do it another three times. Usually, his attacks aren’t bad, but if you administer another three and he still can’t breathe, you call an ambulance, okay?"

Alex nodded. "Okay, yeah, I can do that. Are you okay, James? You seem tense."

James sighed, looking Alex dead in the eyes. "I've had an ongoing anxiety attack since two thousand nine."

Alex paused, then shrugged. "You know what James? That's fair."

"Hey, Hoe, I need you to put your autograph on..." Thomas trailed off, having seen not only James, but James' kid, sitting on the couch coloring. "Oh, uh, hi James." Thomas chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, looking down in embarrassment. "Nice weather, huh?"

"Alright, I'm gonna go," James mumbled exasperatedly. "Bye, Payne. I love you."

"I love you too, dad," Payne answered, accepting a kiss on his forehead.

James looked to Alex. "Thank for this, really."

"Not a problem," Alex assured him.

James gave an awkward half-smile to Thomas, then exited the office, making his way back to his car. James wasn't Thomas' biggest fan. James knew that Thomas was trying to be nice, offering flowers and money to help, but James wouldn’t have it. He had been on his own for a long time, ever since his girlfriend moved on, leaving James with a monthly child support check, and Payne. James had gotten used to Payne and his life, and he was content with it. He and Payne were calm and collected, very similar in personalities. They were relaxed, frugal, and happy. James read Payne old English poetry at night, and cooked omelets in the morning. They were content and calm.

Thomas was the opposite of calm.

James had read up on the Virginian. The man had a history rich with reckless parties, and scandalous tabloid colors. Bright colors usually announced his presence, then came his loud voice. He had boisterous opinions that clashed with James', and a personality that was just too much. James didn't like too much drama in his life; the constant hospital trips were enough to placate him. And yes, James had issues, but he could handle them just fine on his own.

"Dude, I don't think he's interested," Hamilton stated, pulling Jefferson out of his embarrassment once James left the office. "You make it too obvious."

Thomas groaned. "Whatever. Is that Payne?"

The kid looked up from his coloring. "Yes, and you?"

"Damn, professional," Thomas muttered, taken aback. "I'm Thomas Jefferson."

"Oh, I know you," Payne realized. "You were the one that gave my dad flowers."

Thomas let out a nervous chuckle as the kid looked back down, then turned to Alex. "Hey, man, for real though? I need you to sign this. It renews your contract with Angie."

"Wouldn't want to lose her," Alex chuckled, signing it.

"Yeah, I know you wouldn't," Thomas scoffed, cocking a brow at Alex.

Alex was quick to jump to his defense. "Hey, I really like John. Even if Angie showed up right now, I wouldn't, I don't..." Alex sighed. "You know what I mean."

"Just saying, you should probably stay away from her if you really like John," Thomas chuckled, walking out of Alex's office. "Y'all's track record ain't exactly the best."

"I know, I know," Alex muttered.

About two hours went by, Alex watching over Payne. The kid was, well, incredibly well behaved. Sort of odd though. Alex hadn't missed what looked like OCD tendencies; Payne turning the light on and off seven times before they left the office to go grab a snack from the breakroom, three flips of a page, back and forth until he could finally really turn it. It didn't bother Alex, the sound of whistling paper or the click click click of a light switch whenever Payne had to use the bathroom.

After a little while, James finally picked Payne back up at five, looking a bit more tired than he had earlier. Alex stood up, smiling at the man and handing the inhaler back to him. James thanked Alex exhaustedly.

"Hey, you look like you could use some coffee," Alex chuckled. "Come on, there's some in the breakroom, let me get you a cup."

"That would be nice," James laughed. "Come on, Payne, dad's gonna get some coffee then we're gonna go home and get you into your costume."

"Okay," Payne agreed, hopping off the couch. They both waited for him to turn the light on and off seven times, and then they went into the breakroom. Alex could tell that James was expecting a comment or question, but he didn't feel the need to ask.

"Okay, it's a medium roast," Alex explained. "Do you like cream or sugar?"

"Both," James answered, prompting Alex to get cream from the fridge and sugar from the cabinet.

"James, hello!" Lafayette greeted, walking into the breakroom with Peggy. "What brings you around here? Come for the superior-quality coffee Alex purchases for us?"

James nodded, smiling as he put some cream in the paper cup he got and began to dump a bit of sugar in it too. "Oh, yeah, definitely. I've been up since four and our coffee maker broke, so I am far from thriving."

"You're still coming to the party though, right?" Peggy inquired. "Sally has told me a bit about those classic James dance moves, and I'm really looking forward to seeing them."

James laughed, rolling his eyes. "I'm afraid my days of dancing have come to an untimely end. Nowadays, people tend to find me standing in the corner with a cup of water." James looked down when Payne tugged on his sleeve, then kneeled so Payne could whisper something in his ear. James laughed and picked Payne up. "I think the two of us better get going. Thank you, for the coffee. I'll see you guys tonight. Bye!"

"Bye James!" Lafayette sang, the other two called their goodbyes as well, then turned back to the coffee machine.

"So that's the guy Thomas likes?" Peggy asks, pouring herself a cup. "I mean, he's really cute. He seems sweet. What's the deal?"

"He doesn't really like Thomas," Alex snorted. "I mean, I don't blame him. The guy is my best friend, and I still sometimes want to punch him in the face. James is really nice, and I guess I could them together. I think that James would mellow Thomas out, knock some sense into the guy. Oh, and James is an English major, so he could teach Thomas how to properly use a comma since God knows the man hasn’t fucking figured it out for himself."

Peggy snorted, sitting up on the counter and pulling her dress down over her leggings a bit more. "Thomas majored in political sciences, and he almost failed English, he really needs James." Peggy paused. "Oh, God, are we going to try to set them up?"

Lafayette grinned. "Methinks we are."

"Okay, listen, we're not doing this for our own entertainment," Peggy started. "We are doing this because Thomas is lonely, and James is the only person who Thomas has ever shown interest in who is actually decent."

"Hold on, the dude does have issues though," Alex cut in. "Can Thomas handle that?"

"What kind of issues?" Peggy queried.

"Oh, Herc has told me a bit about this," Lafayette began. "He has a plethora of health conditions, and he isn’t expected to live past sixty. He's like, really depressed, and he isn’t toxic and he does want help, but he lives on his own, and sometimes he needs someone to stay up with him all night and talk, or just be with him." Lafayette paused. "Herc has sometimes left in the middle of the night to go help."

"Thomas isn't exactly the best at comfort," Alex thought aloud. "Well, he is, just sometimes, when it's right there, he gets a little scared."

Lafayette shrugged. "We'll just have to train him to be good."

"That we will," Peggy agreed.

Work ended, and soon enough, everyone was headed to the party. John hadn't really dressed up, just wearing a white tee shirt and some jeans and said he was dressed up as James Dean. Alex's costume consisted of a pair of pants and a white shirt that said 'national debt', since he claimed that nothing was scarier than that. The party was booming, and almost everyone had either found some way to avoid dressing up, or to avoid wearing clothes altogether. Sally had gone as a playboy bunny girl since she had the costume from the bar she worked at, and Peggy had gone as 'a strong and intelligent woman.' Thomas was shirtless, wearing a magenta blazer, a magenta top hat, and some tight tight pinstripe pants, and James had worn just his regular clothes. Lafayette and Hercules had gone as the Brokeback Mountain guys, and both claimed that they did it better.

Alex had never been a huge dancer. He didn’t usually even show up to parties, and if he did, he sat on the couch with the host’s dog all night. So, Alex didn't mind that he and John were leaning against a wall, making out. He figured, if the rest of his night went like this, it would be great. He'd probably give John a blowjob, maybe get a blowjob, and then they could go home a call it a night. Unfortunately, John was still a college kid at heart.

"Come on, let's go dance," John pleaded, a drink in his hand.

Alex shook his head. "I don't dance."

John shrugged. "Okay, well, I do. So, when you realize that dancing with me is a lot more fun than leaning against a wall, you come to find me."

"You're leaving me?" Alex pouted.

John leaned in and pecked Alex's lips, lips staying pressed against Alex’s as he responded. "Come dance with me."

"I don't dance," Alex restated.

"Then I'll see you when my drink runs out," John responded, kissing Alex's lips one more time before heading to the dance floor, which was just Thomas' living room. The man had a lavish house. He’d had a fortune before he’d joined the government, thanks to his family, so he had always been able to get the finer things in life. The house just made John think Thomas was more bullshit than he was worth, but he kept quiet since he knew Alex was close with the Virginian. The song was upbeat and John found Maria, who had also shown up to the party. It was silent, but both of them agreed to dance together. Nothing fancy, no flips or spins needed, just casual dancing.

Meanwhile, Alex was feeling bitter against the wall. He hated dancing, despised it. The last time he danced was at his wedding when he was nineteen. Even then, he despised it. He only did it because Eliza wanted him to. Of course, when he was younger, he used to dance a lot, but he didn't like doing it anymore.

"Why so blue?" George King, the comptroller for New York asked as he leaned against the wall next to Alex. "I thought you had your little arrangement?"

"His name is John," Alex inserted. "And he's dancing."

"Why don't you join him?" King wondered, sipping his gin and tonic.

"I hate to dance," Alex grumbled.

"Okay, Shaw Moore," King laughed.

Alex gave him a confused look.

"Come on, Alex, it's Footloose," King sighed. "You know, not knowing Footloose is a deportable offense. I should call over Lafayette so he can revoke your citizenship."

Alex knocked King's shoulder gently. "Whatever."

"Anyway," King sighed. "Is this another fling or are you guys like, shagging for real? I saw a few pictures of you snogging in the tabloids, but you're kinda a slag sometimes, so I thought it best I get the full story from you. So, are you two like, lovebirds or something?"

Alex shrugged. "Nothing's really official. We went on a date, and it went well. His kid likes me, we kiss, occasionally I suck him off. It's nice."

"Then I think you should stop being a pussy and go dance with him," King chuckled. "Alexander, you have always been one to do stuff without thinking. It's why you're not allowed to sit across from John Adams anymore. My question is, why are you thinking so much right now? Just, just go. Shut off that giant brain of yours for five seconds, and do something that you wouldn't have done if you were thinking. Take a risk, goddammit. I can't believe the man who wanted to challenge an entire political party to a duel is too afraid to dance."

"I'm not afraid!" Alex defended. "I'm just no good at it!"

"I'm sure you're better than Thomas over there, doing the sprinkler," King pointed out. "Don't be a fucking pussy, Alex." King paused. "I'll tell you what, if you go out there and find your man and dance with him, I will publicly voice my support for your fight of reenacting the parent and child bill, yeah?"

"This is a political bribe," Alex protested, standing up straight.

"Maybe so, but I know it'll work," King smiled. "You've looked happier recently, and I want to assume it's because of this John fellow. Go, find him." King paused. "You're allowed to let yourself enjoy things."

"Whatever," Alex muttered, making his way onto the dance floor. He felt awkward, because everyone was dancing, and then there he was, pushing his way through people to find John. It didn't take long since the guy was tall and gangly and hard to miss. Before Alex could do anything though, John saw him and smiled, pushing through a few people to get to Alex. It was too loud to talk, to crowded to make a fool out of yourself, but just right for John to put his arms around Alex's neck and grind up against him to the beat of the music. It was an upbeat punk song, one that Alex had never heard before, but loved. He loved it because it made John move like this. Because the black curls had fallen from John's ponytail and framed the man's face perfectly. Alex was grateful that King made him go dance, because holy shit, John looked beautiful.

Alex couldn't help but pull John's face down for a kiss. John returned it happily, letting his hands fall to Alex's ass and give it a hard squeeze, causing Alex to giggle like a little kid. The beat of the song was easy to find, and Alex began to just follow John's actions. They were smooth and sweet, and the older man was finally having a nice time.

James Madison, on the other hand, was not.

The house was dark and loud, most people were drunk, and he really wanted to go home and catch up on his work, but he felt as though it would be rude to leave. He was leaning against a wall, sipping his water, looking over the crowd. There had to be about a hundred people all crowded into this one living room. It was loud, and lights flashed, and it was basically the equivalent of sensory overload.

James groaned as his head began to pound, then looked around, panicked, for a staircase so he could find a bathroom to hide out in. He spotted one, a big lavish one that looked like it belonged in a castle. James huffed and pushed his way past people, stumbling up the stairs and into a much quieter hallway. He took this time to satisfy his curiosity, and began looking around at Thomas' house. Modern art hung on the walls, and it wasn't in bad taste either. James ran his fingers over a plant as he continued walking.

"What on earth?" James muttered as he came to what looked like a family portrait. A white mother, a black father, sitting down. Thomas stood behind his mother, looking solemn. A girl who looked similar to Thomas stood behind the father, a facial expression similar to Thomas'. A few other kids sat on their knees on the floor in front of the parents. James was surprised. He didn’t know that people still paid for family portraits.

James pushed open a door and found himself in a bedroom. It was clean, but clearly inhabited. Dirty clothes were in a wooden hamper, the bedding was a bit ruffled, the nightstand had a half-read book and reading glasses on it. James noticed photos on the wall, so of course, went to go look at them. The first one was of Thomas and people who looked to be his siblings. It looked like a posed family photo since none of the smiles seemed genuine. The next one was of Thomas again, but this time, he was in an army uniform. A few other people stood with him, including Alex. Dirt was on their faces, and they all looked very different in this photo than they do now. Thomas looked skinner, but obviously more muscled, while now his build is a bit thicker, a soft stomach lying under his trim suits.

"Good lord," James mumbled under his breath as he peaked into the ensuite bathroom. It was lavish, with what seemed like millions of hair products everywhere. Deciding to save himself from a chemical-induced coma, James stepped away from the bathroom and went back to looking around Thomas room. He sat on the edge of the bed and picked up the book Thomas was reading. A Taste Of Power, about the Black Panther movement. James hummed, flipping the book over and reading the back.

"It's really interesting, I could lend it to you when I'm finished," A voice offered.

James jumped, looking over into the doorway where Thomas stood. "What are you doing in here?"

Thomas chuckled, taking another step into the room. "It’s my bedroom, James. I think I'm allowed to be in here. I should probably be asking you the same thing."

James shrugged, getting up from Thomas' bed. "The party just got a little loud."

Thomas nodded, sitting down on the long ottoman at the end of his bed and patting the space next to him. "Yes, it has. I didn't expect this many people to show up. Maybe a few work employees, some of John's friends, a few others, but it seems my house will be trashed by the time morning comes."

"It's a nice house," James mumbled.

"Ah, yes," Thomas nodded. "My parents bought it for me."

"Of course," James scoffed. "Do they pay your taxes and water bill too?"

"Well, they're dead, so I would assume not," Thomas dead-panned.

James let out a small 'oh,' not knowing how to reply to that.

Thomas looked around his room. "They bought it for me after I discharged. I was living in a cheap apartment eating wheat thins all day, so they bought me a house. I could've used a hug, but the house is nice too." Thomas paused. "It was a bit of compensation since I was the oldest sibling, expected to be a fully functioning adult by the time I was ten. I dunno, I'm complaining about nothing. I could be a homeless vet with no support system at all."

James let out a breath. "Why'd you discharge?"

"My vision started to go," Thomas mumbled. "It's actual shit. Had to get a couple surgeries. My pupils don't really dilate anymore, and I have a hella strong glasses prescription, but I usually wear contacts when I'm out since the glasses make my eyes look way bigger than they actually are." Thomas let out a bitter chuckle. "Turns out, you can't be in the army if you miss a target that's five meters away."

"Do you miss being in service?" James asked.

Thomas shrugged. "Yes and no. I still follow a very similar routine. Up by four, run for an hour, breakfast at five thirty, showered and dressed by six, get some work done, then go to the office. Uh, I guess I miss feeling normal for every slightly loud sound, but I don't miss having a reason to jump at every slightly loud sound. What about you? Any time serving?"

James snorted. "Ha. Thomas, I've been a walking chronic illness since I was ten. The fact that I have a job right now is a miracle."

Thomas sighed, leaning back a bit. "Do you like Halloween?"

The shorter man tilted his head. "I guess. Intense partying isn't exactly my idea of a good Halloween, but I always go with my friends for the hookups." James laughed a bit. "Usually we go to a club though."

"I don't really like parties either," Thomas admitted.

"Your kidding," James said incredulously. "Come on, be honest with me."

"I don't!" Thomas laughed. "I just, sometimes I feel like I gotta be this specific person for people to like me. Like, if I don't throw parties or go out with people, what do I do? Roam around my lavish house in an untied silk robe, sipping cappuccinos? I just, I don't want people to get bored of me. I mean, I know I wouldn't lose Alex or Laf or Pegs if I stopped doing all that shit, but what about everyone else?"

"Fuck them," James answered. "You're not here to entertain people. Life is short, Thomas. Way too short. Fuck what other people think. Do what you want."

"If only it was that easy," Thomas sighed. He looked back to James, wiping his hands on his too tight pants. "So what happened to Payne's mom?"

"Wow, you just cut to it, I guess," James laughed.

Thomas smirked. "Call it a vice."

A nod came from the shorter man. "No, uh, she was just a hookup. She got pregnant, left the kid with me. I thought she was gonna stay, but she didn't. It's okay though. Payne and I do okay on our own, we've got a routine, and he's a really mellow kid."

Thomas nodded. "Have you always lived in New York?"

James shook his head. "I lived down in Virginia before I moved out of home."

"No shit," Thomas gasped. "Where in Virginia?"

"Port Conway," James answered, confused.

"No fucking shit," Thomas repeated. "I lived in Richmond."

James smiled widely. "Really? I used to visit Richmond all the time because I had cousins who lived there. What neighborhood were you in?"

"Oh, Tuckahoe," Thomas explained.

"Shit, rich boy," James chuckled. "My cousins lived in the trailer park on the other side of town. We always passed Tuckahoe when my older cousin took us out to the lake to do drugs and listen to rock music."

"Oh, don't tell me, you grew up in a sexually repressed home," Thomas guessed.

"Well, rich kid, what about you?" James challenged.

"Lost my virginity at fifteen on my living room couch with the pastor's son," Thomas boasted proudly.

"You are the definition of privilege," James laughed. "Why are you light skinned fuckers all like this, huh? You're a little mixed and suddenly you think you are the peak performance of a man. Seriously, get over yourself."

"Whatever," Thomas mocked, rolling his eyes. "Ain't nobody hit it like I can."

"Whatever you say, Jefferson."

Thomas raised an eyebrow, then leaned in, stealing a kiss. James widened his eyes, staring at an oh so smug Thomas, who stared back at him. There was a moment of quiet, then Jame leaned back in. Thomas accepted, this time not breaking contact so quickly. Pulled James up towards him as they kissed. James tugged on Thomas' hair, moaning lightly as Thomas picked him up and carried him to the bed. Thomas laid him down, staying between the shorter man's legs and he began to work a hickey on to his neck. James let small moans escape his mouth as he worked off Thomas' jacket and pants.

Thomas sucked on James' earlobe and undid the shorter man's belt. "Ain't nobody hit it like I can, James,” he murmered.

Meanwhile, Alex and John were still dancing, and things were heating up a bit. John was fairly drunk though, so Alex knew well enough that nothing would be happening. Herc and Laf were shitfaced on the couch, making out. Sally had gotten a little drunk, so Peggy was making her a milkshake in the kitchen.

"I'm thirsty, Alex," John whispered as he ground hard onto Alex. John's country accent was as enunciated as possible. Alex had no idea John’s accent was this strong, but he wasn't exactly opposed to it. It was honestly cute, the way John was slurring words and singing along to the songs, making them sound like terrible country covers. Alex relished in the sound of John's voice.

"Come on, let's go get you some water," Alex smiled, leading John into the kitchen. Sally was sipping her milkshake and giggling at something Peggy was whispering into her ear. Someone else was there, who Alex didn't really know but waved to regardless. Alex leaned John against the counter and got out a cup, then filled it with water.

"Thank you!" John trilled.

"Drink it," Alex said playfully, nudging the cup towards John's mouth.

John chugged the water like a college kid then set his cup down. "Alex, Alex, come here. Come here, I got a secret for you."

"Hm?" Alex smiled, leaning in.

"I want you to sit on my face," John stage whispered.

Alex blushed and laughed lightly, leaning his forehead against John's chest. "You need to go home, mister. It's way past your bedtime."

"I don't have a bedtime," John pouted, arms thrown around Alex.

Alex sighed, looking over at Peggy. "You think Thomas would mine if the two of us crashed in one of his guest rooms?"

Peggy shook her head. "No. It's what you usually do when he throws a party. Is John wasted?"

Alex nodded. "Like me after Eliza threw her wine on me at the Italian place."

Peggy snorted. "You stood up, grabbed a bottle of wine, and literally just left, and we found you lying on the hood of your car smoking a cigarette with the wine bottle completely empty. That was not a good night for you."

Alex nodded, grimacing at the memory. "I'm gonna go put him to bed. I'll come back down, though."

"Good luck," Peggy laughed.

Alex leads John upstairs, finding the first guest room he could and opening the door, thankful that no one was in there. John was stumbling around and mumbling incoherent things, so Alex helped the man take off his jeans and lie down in a comfortable bed. John groaned, squishing his face into the soft pillows.

"Alex," John whined. "Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna let you sleep," Alex said softly, kneeling down. "You think you can do that for me? Go night-night?"

John scowled suspiciously at Alex’s baby voice, then decided nothing of it and smashed his face back into the pillow. "Uh huh,” came his muffled response.

"Good John," Alex whispered. He leaned in and planted a gentle peck on the back of John’s head. "Sleep well, okay?"

"Wait, hold on, Alex, take my phone from my pocket, in case the babysitter texts. It doesn't have a password." John realized. "I don't want something to happen. Just in case Phillip gets a nightmare or something and needs to call me. He'll be okay with talking to you. He thinks your nice. I think so too"

Alex smiled, getting John's phone. "Alright. Go to sleep, hon. I'll come and get you whenever it's time to go."

John nodded, then promptly closed his eyes and passed out. Alex smiled and walked out of the room, closing the door and walking back down the hall. The party was loud and booming, so Alex found himself wandering into Thomas' garage. Sometimes, at parties, Alex would go into the garage and sit in a car and look through his phone. Thomas had a selection of cars, and didn't take Alex long to find his favorite. It was an Impala, older, but the seats were really comfortable, so, Alex slipped inside and pulled out his phone, leaning against the backrest. He hadn't taken his Ambien tonight, so he wasn't going to be able to sleep.

Alex laughed at a few text posts before going to his email, checking a few things from work and replying to Washington on a couple things, not even processing the fact that it was far too late to be replying to work emails. Alex went on, switching between work stuff and memes. At about three am, Alex was brought from his trance by a buzzing coming from John's phone. Alex picked it up, pressing it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, can I talk to John?" A teen girls voice said.

"John's asleep, but I'm his boyfriend, Alex. Is something wrong?" Alex asked.

"Oh, Phillip had a little nightmare," the girl answered.

"Can I talk to him?" Alex’s brow had knit together.

There was a bit of rustling, and then Alex heard a sniffle on the other end. "Hi, Alex."

"Hey, buddy," Alex said softly. "Hey, it's me, Alex. Are you okay, buddy?"

"Nightmare," Phillip mumbled. "With the buttons."

"Aw, buddy, I'm sorry," Alex said softly. "Don't worry though, I'm right here. I'm not letting you get hurt, yeah? It's okay, buddy." Alex paused, listening for some sign of Phillip cheering up. When he heard nothing, he thought a moment, then sighed. "Do you want me to come to pick you up, buddy? I can be there in ten minutes."

"Yeah," Phillip mumbled.

"Alright," Alex replied. "Hand me to your babysitter so I can get the address."

"Okay, Alex," Phillip yawned.

"You're gonna come pick him up I'm assuming?" The babysitter's voice rang through the phone. "And I'm also assuming you have proof that you are involved with his father and the kid too?"

"I do," Alex nodded. "What's the address?"

"Apartment building on the upper east side, called Hilltower. I'm in apartment four J," the babysitter answered. "I'll see you soon?"

"Yup," Alex replied. He hung up and climbed out of the car, ordering an Uber and walking back through the party. He tried to locate Jefferson, and when he couldn't, went upstairs to check his room. Alex was thoroughly surprised to see James and Thomas, buck naked, above the covers, sleeping peacefully. Alex closed the door again, then went downstairs and stepped out the front door, glad to see his Uber. He got in and stared out the window, waiting for the apartment building to come into view.

Alex got out of the car and thanked the driver when he did. The sky was dark, but the New York streets were still as busy as ever, and Alex barely avoided getting hit by a car as he crossed the street. It was Halloween, and everyone was drinking, so there was no doubt drunk drivers were on the road.

Alex found the apartment and knocked on the door, then waited. He made sure his hair was down and mostly covering the scars on his face. His hearing aid was in place, and he didn't look lopsided or anything. He wanted to seem as normal as possible for this girl, who was obviously very protective of her charges.

"Alex?" She asked skeptically when she opened the door.

Alex nodded. "And you?"

"I'm Jane," the babysitter told him, beckoning him in.

"Alex!" Phillip gasped in an almost relieved tone, running towards Alex.

The older man picked Phillip up instantly, hugging the little kid. Phillip hugged back tightly, and for a second, Alex felt this connection with the kid, a connection he had only felt with the younger boys back in Nevis. It was some deep protective instinct, something his mother had told him about, and Alex loved it.

"Alright, give me one reason why I should let you leave with this kid," Jane ordered, holding a rather large frying pan.

Alex quickly pulled out his phone, pulling up his screensaver to show a selfie of him, Phillip, and John sitting on the couch. Phillip was on John's lap, smiling wide, John had his arm around Alex, kissing the older man's cheek. "His dad is my roommate-boyfriend thing."

"Alright," Jane said, nodding. "Here's Phillip's bag."

"Thanks," Alex stepped out of the apartment. He ordered an Uber and began walking down the stairs, Phillip still in his arms. Phillip was still holding onto Alex, his eyes drooping. Alex brought the kid downstairs to the front lobby and waited for the Uber. Alex sat down, Phillip on his knee.

"'M tired," Phillip mumbled, leaning his head against Alex's shoulder.

"Aw, hey buddy," Alex said softly, bouncing his leg. "We're gonna be home soon, alright? Then, I'll make you what my momma used to make me before bedtime, yeah?"

Phillip nodded and smiled. "Can you sing to me too?"

Alex smiled and nodded. "I tell you what, I'll get my guitar and play you something."

"I like guitar, but not when he screeches," Phillip informed Alex tiredly.

Alex's phone buzzed with the notification that the Uber was here, so he picked Phillip up and brought him out, getting into the backseat and putting Phillip in the middle. Alex let the kid curl up against him, seeing as Phillip was obviously very tired. When they got home, Phillip was still looking forward to Alex making him something, so Alex got out a pot and poured some milk in, then added a little bit of honey and cinnamon, stirring it on the stove until it was warm. He poured it into a mug, then handed it to Phillip.

"My mother would always make me this when I couldn't sleep," Alex explained, not bothering to take his Ambien since it was too close to six, and he wanted to go and pick John up after Phillip fell asleep. "Come on, let's go upstairs and you can drink this while I play you guitar, okay buddy?"

Phillip nodded and the two of them made their way upstairs. Alex dropped Phillip's bag in the kid's room, then went into his room. Under his bed was his guitar, kept in a case. He hadn't played in a little bit, but just because he had been busy. He took it out, making sure it was in tune, then walking back into Phillip's room. He smiled at the little kid, sitting up and sipping his drip. Phillip was honestly adorable, and Alex was glad the babysitter had taken care of the headscarf since there's no way Alex would've figured out how to do that.

"This is one of my mom's favorite songs," Alex started as he casually strummed the guitar. "She was in love with the guy who sang it. Are you ready?"

"Yeah," Phillip nodded, sipping his drink again.

"Okay," Alex laughed. He gently tapped his foot to a beat and began picking out the tabs to the starting music. Finally, it got time to sing, so Alex took a breath and mentally transported himself back to the streets in Nevis. "Si no creyera en la locura. De la garganta del sinsonte.Si no cretera que en el monte, se esconde el trino. Si no creyera en la balanza. En la razón del equilibrio. Si no creyera en delirio. Se no creyera en la esperanza."

Alex sand for the full song, smiling when Phillip finally curled up and fell asleep. Alex hadn't played the song to its full passionate extent, but it was easy to make the chords and tabs softer and make his voice lighter as well. He turned out Phillip's lamp, then took his mug downstairs, after putting away the guitar. Alex sighed, looking over his backyard. It was four am, and he hadn't slept a wink. Of course, Alex was pretty used to that. There had been many nights where Alex stared up at the ceiling, or at a laptop screen. Another all-nighter wasn't going to kill him.

Alex started the coffee machine, waiting for it to finish. He was still in his tee shirt that read 'national debt' but didn't bother changing since it seemed pointless. When the brew was ready, Alex poured some into a to-go mug and went outside to his car, ready to drive back to Thomas' and pick up John.

Alex turned on talk radio and listened to calming voices talk about the current state of New York's economy, subconsciously patting himself on the back when they mention that his budgeting helped New York get out of a really bad place. Alex always took pride in his job. He hadn't had the chance to very much good in his life, despite his time serving, so when he was actually doing something good, he felt good. His job made him feel like he was a decent human being. It was what gave him purpose most of the time, and he liked that.

Alex pulled up to Jefferson's house and could tell the party had died down since he left. He got out of the car and went into the house. Couples were slow dancing on the floor, and it was easy to spot a drunk Lafayette and an even drunker Herc, giggling and swaying slowly. Sally and Peggy had passed out on the couch, hugging each other. Alex smiled and walked upstairs, deciding to check on Thomas and James before he went to John. Alex cracked open the door and smiled lightly. Thomas was up, reading, while James still slept next to him. This time, blankets were pulled over the two of them so Alex wasn't emotionally scarred.

Alex waved to Thomas, offering a quiet thumbs up which was returned with a flick of the middle finger and a wave of the hand, shooing him out of the room. Alex snickered, closing the door again and walking to the room he left John in. When he opened the door, he was pleasantly surprised to find John was in the very same spot he left him; curled up on his side, hugging the pillow. Alex carefully walked over and nailed down. John's breath smelled of liquor and sleep, which wasn't the best combination, but it didn't bother Alex.

"John," Alex said softly, shaking the younger man. "Come on, baby, it's time to go home. I went and picked up Phillip since he had a nightmare, so he's already there."

"Mm," John groaned. "Phillip?"

"Phillip is at home, babe," Alex chuckled. "We should go home too."

"We gotta pick Phillip up," John mumbled.

"Phillip had been picked up, and we need to go home, where he is," Alex sighed exasperatedly. "Come on, sit up."

John sat up and groaned. "I don't feel good."

"Are you gonna be sick?" Alex asked softly, finding John's pants on the floor so he can help the younger man get into them. "Because if so, I would rather you get sick on Thomas' guest bed than in my car."

"No, I'm not gonna throw up," John confirmed.

"Alright, then let's get your pants on," Alex said softly. Dressing a drunk John was very similar to dressing a baby. He was a little bit like dead weight, and he just had no idea how to do anything. Alex couldn't help but chuckle at the idea of twenty-year-old John, struggling to open his dorm at three in the morning, trying to get his jeans off.

"You're soft," John mumbled, running his hand over Alex's face. "And you have such dainty little fingers. Do you crochet?"

Alex smiled, looking up at John. "No, I do not crochet. Do you?"

John shook his head. "No, but my sister does. Since she's confined to a wheelchair, she always brings her crocheting stuff around so she doesn't have to be bored. She made me a sweater, once, but it's back in South Carolina. Next time, next time I call her, I'm gonna ask her to mail it up. Or get Henry to do it since he likes the post office. I need to call them." John sighed as Alex helped him up. "It's been too long."

"Why can't you talk to them?" Alex asked as they began to walk towards the car. Alex knew the answer to this question but was hoping to maybe get a few more details.

"Because my dad, he don't, he don't like it that I have a son," John mumbled. "He always believed that sex isn't, it isn't something you should do before marriage, and then I did it, and he didn't wanna be associated with someone who does."

"I'm sorry," Alex mumured.

"It's okay," John assured Alex as they walked out of the house. "I get to talk to my siblings still, so that's all I need. Martha called me for my birthday, but we couldn't really talk that long, so I need to call her again."

"When was your birthday?" Alex asked curiously.

"Four days ago," John answered. "Well, five days ago actually. It was on the twenty-sevenths, though I don't celebrate it, because I think it's dumb. I haven't celebrated it since, since, since I was fourteen. That was twelve years ago. Holy, holy shit. I was fourteen twelve years ago. That's weird."

"So, you're twenty-six now?" Alex asked, chuckling.

John nodded. "Yes. Twenty-six and four days. I don't feel any different, but I think I stopped aging when I was twenty-three. Phillip's birthday is the only one that matters to me. It's on the twenty-second of January."

"Hey," Alex said, smiling. "Mine's the eleventh of January."

"Whoa, that's, that's trippy," John giggled.

"Alright, here's the car," Alex said, leading John to the passenger side door.

"Wait, wait, Alex, hold on," John said quickly. John waited for a second, then bent over and threw up on the street.

"Oh, oh honey," Alex said quickly, holding back John's hair. "There we go, let it out. There we go, it's okay."

John vomited up a lot more than Alex thought was possible, then stood up straight, still drunk. Alex smiled softly at John, then helped the younger man into the car. The ride back was filled with John trying to sing along to Billie Joel, as well as the occasional honk of the New York City streets at night. John was really getting into the music, and Alx had to laugh. It was cute, the way John laughed as he belted out the lyrics to Piano Man. He was passionate, even if he was way off key and his voice cracked a lot.

"Alright, gotta be quiet, Phillip is sleeping," Alex said softly.

John nodded. "Very quiet. Like a sneaky ninja. Parent ninja."

"Exactly like that," Alex nodded as he leads John into the house. John made it up the stairs and to his room without any major mishaps, although he almost fell down the stairs at one point. Alex helped John get undressed and slip on a large hoodie, then tucked the younger man into bed. John looked awfully cute, and Alex couldn't help but reach down and brush a bit of hair from John's face, smiling.

"Alex, you gonna be here in the morning?" John mumbled, looking up at Alex.

Alex nodded, leaning in and kissing John's forehead. "Of course."

"Promise?" John whispered, taking Alex's hand.

"I promise," Alex replied. "I'll have aspirin and water waiting for you, alright? I promise I'm not going anywhere. Goodnight, John. Sleep well."

"Goodnight, Alex," John whispered, closing his eyes. He listened to Alex to leave the room, then smiled. That man was certainly something else. Something good. John hadn’t had the greatest experience with getting intimate with people. Even if the relationship was going really well, he would ruin it on purpose because things got too real for him. He became too important to someone and they started talking about a future together. Those were the times John would cheat, leave them, something. John thought though, that maybe when things started to get more serious with Alex, maybe he wouldn't freak out and do something stupid.

John woke up the next morning with a skull splitting headache and a nauseous stomach. He swallowed back vomit and climbed out of bed, finding a pair of sweatpants to put on and making his way downstairs. Phillip was at the counter, with a very tired but content looking Alex. John sat down and groaned lightly, squinting at the kitchen light.

"Morning, John," Alex said softly. "I'll get you some Alka Seltzer. Are you hungry?"

"Mmf, no," John grumbled.

"Papa, are you sick?" Phillip asked.

"Papa's not sick," John promised. "Last night, I ran into a witch, and she said I either give you to her, or I drink some poison, so of course, I picked the poison, but it makes my head hurt and my stomach hurt, so Alex is giving me the cure right now. How was your night?"

"We watched some scary movies, and then we went to bed, and I got a nightmare, so Alex came and picked me up and brought me home," Phillip explained. "And then he played guitar for me!"

John raised an eyebrow, looking at Alex. "You play guitar?"

Alex chuckled nervously, handing John the Alka Seltzer. "Yeah, sometimes, I guess. I just learned when I lived in Nevis and kinda kept the skill."

"You are just full of surprises," John laughed, sipping his drink. John looked at his son. "Pip, did you get breakfast?"

Phillip nodded.

"Alright, do we have any plans for this Saturday?" John wondered allowed.

Alex laughed. "I think you should rest up and recuperate from that poison you drank last night. I think it's gonna rain, so I gotta mow the lawn, and then I'm gonna do a load of laundry, so if anyone needs to throw anything in with mine, I have some space."

"Oh, yeah, I got a few clothes and so does Phillip," John confirmed. "I'm gonna finish this, and then Phillip needs a bath and I need a shower. You mow the lawn, I can just put the dirty clothes in your laundry basket, yeah?"

"Yeah, cool," Alex confirmed.

John downed the rest of his drink like a shot and picked Phillip up to go get a bath ready while Alex went into the backyard to mow the lawn. It was getting colder, dropping down to fifty degrees some nights, so Alex knew that soon enough, he'd be locking up his yard supply shed for the winter and trading his mower out for a shovel.

Meanwhile, John was upstairs, gathering some dirty clothes and throwing them in Alex's laundry basket before starting a bath for Phillip. John got out some shower cap things that Herc told him really helped protect the hair when it wasn't wash day and put one over Phillip's curly black hair. Before setting the kid in the bath. John sang for Phillip and let the kid sing for him. John didn't really do much when it was bathtime for Phillip anymore, just made sure Phillip actually washed up and got clean instead of just playing with bubbles. He also kept Phillip company, since Phillip got bored really easily.

"Alright, buddy, you go watch cartoons, and I'm gonna shower too," John chuckled as he finished getting Phillip into some clean clothes. "I'll be right down, and we figure out some plans for today, okay?"

Phillip nodded. "Okay, papa."

"I love you, buddy," John stated, kissing Phillip's forehead.

"I love you too," Phillip smiled before making his way downstairs to the living room. John sighed, popping his back, then went to go shower. He stripped down, taking a second and looking at himself in the mirror. John ran his hand over his light happy trail, then scratched before turning on the shower.

Due to his hangover, John was still feeling quite blah, so he stepped into the shower and sat down on the floor, placing his head on his knees and closing his eyes, waiting for the inevitable Pavlov. It came after a while, and John relieved himself before going back to his resting on the shower floor. The water was warm and relaxing, and it almost made John fall back asleep, but he managed to stay awake until he finally felt ready to wash off. When John finished, he dried off and put his hoodie and sweatpants back on. He was feeling better, not as hungover, but he still would have slept for another eight years.

"Hey, buddy, whatcha watching?" John asked as he came downstairs and sat next to Phillip. His head still pounding lightly, so he leaned back and closed his eyes.

"Powerpuff Girls," Phillip answered sweetly, leaning against John.

"That's nice," John replied, gently running his hand over Phillip's hair. "How was your night? I heard you had a nightmare, buddy."

"Uh huh," Phillip nodded.

"Was it the one with the buttons?" John questioned, curling a bit of Phillip's hair in his fingers since it was always so soft.

"Yeah, but it was Francis who was trying to sew the buttons into my eyes," Phillip explained, cuddling closer to John.

John tensed up, swallowing hard at the sound of Francis' name. He put his arm around Phillip and hugged the kid closer to him. "Don't worry, Phillip, papa would never let that happen, ever. You're not gonna get hurt."

Phillip nodded and for a second was quiet, then he spoke. "Are you and Alex boyfriends?"

"Would you like it if we were?" John asked, looking down at his son.

Phillip nodded. "I like Alex. He always makes cereal, and he has a big house, and he's super nice." Phillip paused. "Do you like him? You guys kiss a lot."

John laughed. "Yeah, I like him, Pip. Just wanna make sure you like him too. I don't want you to think that your opinion doesn't matter."

"Hey, guys," Alex chimed, walking into the living room. "Wassup?"

"Phillip was just asking me if we were boyfriends," John told him, looking at the man and smiling amusedly.

Alex paused for a second, attempting to read John's body language. Finally, he took a deep breath and smiled at Phillip. "Well, I would say we are. John?"

"Yeah, me too," John nodded. "Alex, we were just watching Powerpuff Girls, care to join us?" John opened his arm out on the side that Phillip wasn't on, smiling at the older man. "We wouldn't mind the company."

Alex smiled and sat down, leaning into John and ruffling Phillip's hair a bit. "Powerpuff Girls? I used to watch this with-" Alex cut himself off, coughing a bit. "Peggy."

John smiled over at Alex. "That's cute. How long have you known her?"

"A while," Alex answered. "We first met when she was fifteen and I was twenty, through my ex-wife. Peggy was definitely way smarter than everyone gave her credit for. I mean, maybe she didn't really present herself as a genius, but she was. Uh, she wasn't raised Islam but converted when she was seventeen, and I convinced her to run for youth representative when she was twenty-five. She had been working for some corporate company as the receptionist, which is just bullshit. I mean, you really oughta hear this girl when she gets talking. She's crazy smart. Anyway, it was my first campaign, and her first campaign, and we kinda helped each other out in a lot of ways, just by knowing things and whatnot, and then we both won, so that was cool."

"Was this before or after Lafayette?" John asked.

"Before," Alex laughed. "No, my order of friends goes Thomas, Aaron, and Washington, Peggy, and then Lafayette. Of course, there were other people, but these are the ones that are alive and like, important to me."

John leaned over and kissed Alex's head. "You know, you're really cute, Alex."

Alex smiled and blushed. "Thank you, I-"

Alex was cut off by a phone buzzing. It was John's, and the older man grabbed it from his pocket, looking down and smiling at his sister's contact. "I gotta take this, it's my sister. Hold that thought."

"Alright," Alex called out as John got up to step in the hall, pressing the accept button.

"Martha! Hey!" John exclaimed.

"Hey, John, how you been?" Martha chuckled.

"Not too bad, just living life. I'm hungover as shit from a party I went to last night, but I'm twenty-six and living in New York, I'm bound to get drunk every now and then," John chuckled. "What about you? How was your Halloween? Any parties?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm such a popular party goer, John," Martha snorted. "I'm not wild like you. No, I stayed home with Jemmy and Mary and watched movies and ate candy. Henry went out to hook up with his girlfriend or something like that."

"Henry has a girlfriend?" John gasped.

"Oh my God, I didn't tell you this?" Martha replied, equally shocked.

"No! You didn't! Oh my god, give me some details, Marty," John begged.

"Okay, well, she's really sweet. Like, crazy sweet. She's not deaf, but she's really fluent in ASL because her parents are deaf. Anyways, I got to meet her a few weeks ago, and god, John, she's drop-dead gorgeous. Like, Henry seriously got himself a girl. She's like, almost as tall as him, and she's got this pretty blonde hair and real gorgeous blue eyes, and she's super funny and sweet." Martha laughed. "I can't believe my little brother got a girlfriend before I got a boyfriend. What about you, John? Any ladies?"

"Nope," John chuckled. "My full-time job is parenting. I don't have time for relationships. Uh, yeah, there's no one really."

"How is Phillip doing? He's, what, five now?" Martha asked curiously. She had never really talked to or met her nephew, but he was family, so she always showed interest. John's dad had instantly blocked John out of the family, but his siblings were a bit more okay with the fact that John had moved up to New York and started having premarital sex.

"Yeah, turning six in February," John answered. "No, he's good. He's on his last year of preschool, and then he goes into kindergarten. Uh, he's growing. Kid's just a couple inches away from four feet."

"Are y'all doing okay with money?" Martha asked.

John nodded. "Yeah, I moved in with a roommate recently, and rent is really low. How's Mary and Jemmy?"

"Jemmy is really good," Martha stated. "He's been going to PT and getting better with his fine motor skills, and he's officially at a fourth-grade reading level, which is pretty good for a thirteen-year-old considering he cracked his head in half once."

"You think he still remembers me?" John mumbled lightly, remembering how the accident happened the summer before John left for college. Jemmy had a lot of brain damage, and his memory was seriously affected, so john sometimes didn't know if his brother remembers him. It's kinda how he felt about a lot of his family.

"Yup," Martha answered simply. "I showed him a picture you sent me of you and Phillip about a month back and before I even said anything he said 'John's hair looks longer.' I promise you, Jemmy remembered you. So does Mary. No one has forgotten about you, John."

"I just feel bad," John admitted. "I haven't seen any of y'all since I was nineteen."

"Oh, yeah, that's totally your fault," Martha scoffed sarcastically. "John, I'm seventeen, and I'm gonna be moving out of the house really soon. Then Henry is gonna move out, and we're gonna try to figure something out for Jemmy and Mary. I know this is difficult right now, but things are going to change. We all miss you a lot, John."

"I guess this is God's punishment for premarital sex," John joked. "No, you know I love you guys, but I wouldn't trade anything in the world for my son."

"Yeah, we know," Martha confirmed. "Oh, hey, I actually have some really good news."

"What's that?" John asked, smiling.

"I got accepted into MIT," Martha squealed.

John physically jumped from excitement. "Oh my God! Martha! I'm so freaking proud of you! Oh my God, like, what? Hold on, what happened, hold on, tell me everything!"

"Okay, okay, so I was at school and I was in my art class and I was just doodling the design for a prosthetic, since you know I'm into biomedical engineering, and I got an Email from MIT but I figured it was another spam email since I had been getting those, but I opened it, and I realized I had gotten accepted and I started crying in the middle of my art class and holy shit I'm going to MIT!" Martha screamed happily a little from the other end.

"Oh my God! That's so amazing! Oh, and you'll be living in Massachusetts, so we can visit each other all the time, and oh my God I'm so happy for you!" John exclaimed. "You have to go, you are gonna go, right?"

"Hell yeah!" Martha yelled. "It's fucking MIT, why wouldn't I go? Oh, this is gonna be so amazing! I'll finally be able to actually learn about this stuff and have supplies and maybe build some technological advancements and become a biomedical engineer and maybe be able to walk again! This is gonna be fucking great."

"I'm so proud of you. I wish I could bake you a cake like you did for me when I got accepted into NYU," John sighed. "Next time I see you, I'm baking a cake and we're celebrating you getting into MIT. I don't care when that is. Are you starting up in this fall's semester?"

"No, I'm starting in next fall's semester, since I do wanna take a quick gap year to just relax and shit like that. I've maintained a four point oh through my entire high school career, so I think I deserve a bit of a break." Martha giggled a bit. "Holy shit, this is gonna be amazing."

"You do deserve that break," John stated honestly. "I mean, I didn't take a break, but I got straight C's throughout my high school life, so I don't think I really deserved one. Has anything else happened?"

"No, not really," Martha shrugged. "Dad's running for senator again, Mary is struggling in school, but that's really it. What's your roommate like? I know you've had a couple iffy ones."

"He's really nice," John stated. "Phillip really likes him, and he's got some good friends. Uh, he's a veteran, he's older than me by about nine years, and he's like, really clean. He can't cook for the life of him, but luckily, I'm really good at cooking."

"Yeah, because momma taught you," Martha teases. "I still have one of those stupid home videos momma made of you where you were wearing a pink apron and dancing and singing to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun while making cupcakes."

John smiled. "Can you email me some pictures, Martha? Whatever you think is best. I've just, I've been missing y'all recently. I wouldn't mind having a few pictures around. Maybe that one with the five of us all down by the lake? The one where you're wearing that yellow sundress and I've got no shirt on and Mary is holding a bouquet of dandelions."

"Oh, yeah, I can send that one up," Martha promised. "You gotta give me a good photo of you and Phillip though. I won't be able to hang it up or anything, but I'll keep it on my phone. I've been missing you too." Martha paused. "The house was weird when you first left. Like, it was too quiet. I thought I'd get used to it, but it still weirds me out that I don't hear you blasting nineties female pop artists all day. Sometimes, I turn on the radio in your room, just so things seem normal again."

"Is my room still intact?" John asked curiously.

"I wouldn't let dad touch it," Martha confirmed. "I keep it locked."

"Thanks, Marty," John smiled. "Hey, tell Henry and Jemmy and those guys I love them, alright? I want them to know. Maybe one night, one night we can FaceTime and I can talk to all of them, say hi for real."

"You know how dad is," Martha said slowly. "He keeps track of who I talk to. The only reason we can call is that you have a new number, but if we FaceTimed, you know he'd find out. He'd get it out of Mary, something."

John sighed sadly. "I know. I know. I'm just, I dunno. It feels like it's been so long. I miss them. I miss you guys. It's so fucking unfair that dad won't let me, I just, this is bullshit, Marty! You know this is bullshit. He just, I'm doing just fine, and he doesn't even want to see that. He doesn't care. He doesn't care about me anymore."

"John, no," Martha said slowly. "You know he still-"

"Has he showed any sign of wanting to get in touch with me for the past five years? Has he talked about me? Has he even, like, has he even kept pictures with me in them up on the walls? You know he cut mom out of them after she died, what about me?" John sniffled. "Is my room the only reminder that I was ever there?"

Martha sighed. "He-he'll come around."

"When?" John snapped. "I was never enough for him. I was, I was a fucking disappointment." John paused, rubbing his eyes. "Martha, you don't get it. You, you are a star student, you're a good well-behaved child. He never liked me and you know that. He tried to hide me. He didn't want me there."

"John, you know dad," Martha said. "It just, it takes a lot to impress him."

John huffed. "I don't even know why I still care. He never did. I just-" John's voice cracked. "-I would kill to hear him say that he's proud of me. For once, I would like to hear those words from his mouth about me."

"Well, you know, I'm proud of you," Martha offered. "You worked your ass off and got a dance scholarship. I used to watch you sneak out to the barn to practice and then when I would wake up, I would see you returning to the house. You worked hard, John. You made so many sacrifices, and you made it."

"For two years," John laughed as a tear slipped down his cheek. "Thank you, Martha. I'm proud of you too."

"I know this is the worst part," Martha started gently. "Everyone misses everyone, and we're all sad as fuck about it, but you know what? It's gonna end eventually. Soon enough, the five of us are gonna be getting together for dinner, and we're all gonna meet our nephew, and we're gonna be there together in real life. None of us are going to forget about you, I promise. Dad got the photos on the wall, but he didn't touch the pictures on my laptop. You are with us, John, and we love you, so much. You are a Laurens, no matter how far away you are. You are part of this family, no matter what, and so is Phillip."

John sniffled. "I love you too."

"Shit," Martha muttered quietly. "I gotta go. I'll tell everyone you said hello and give them your love, alright? We'll see each other soon, it's only a matter of time."

"Bye, Marty, I love you," John sighed softly.

"I love you too, John," Martha said before hanging up.

John sighed and wiped his wet cheeks, sniffling and trying to get ahold of himself. After a few seconds, John walked back into the living room, sitting down and pulling Phillip onto his lap, hugging the small child and resting his cheek against Phillip's soft hair. Whenever John felt alone, Phillip was always a great reassurance. John did have a family, right there in his arms. Even if his siblings were thousands of miles away, John still had his son.

"Are you alright?" Alex asked softly.

John nodded, kissing the top of Phillip's head. "Yeah, yeah, just, I miss those guys. I haven't seen them in years. Makes me sad sometimes."

"Papa, don't be sad," Phillip said softly, looking up at John.

"Oh, don't worry about me, buddy," John smiled softly. "It's okay for people to get sad sometimes. It's only normal. You gotta let yourself feel emotions, and then you can move on. I'm sad now, but I'm sure it'll only last a little bit."

Phillip turned around and hugged John tightly. "I don't want you to be sad."

"You make me happy, Pip, don't worry," John smiled, hugging his son back. "I love you so much, and I'm so proud to be your father. I'm so proud of you, Phillip."

"Thank you, papa," Phillip smiled.

"You know, Alex," John started. "I really think you'd like my sister Martha. She, uh, she got accepted into MIT to be a biomedical engineer. I think she's gonna do really good since she's always been into this kind of stuff."

"Is she the one in the..." Alex trailed off.

John nodded. "The wheelchair, yeah."

Alex smiled softly, taking John's hand and kissing the younger man's shoulder. "You know, John, you're really good."

The day went on, the three of them playing board games, watching movies, taking a quick walk through the neighborhood. It was nice, relaxing almost. Even after the night, John had, and even though his nausea didn't quite leave, he was still happy he could spend the day with his son and his boyfriend.

Later that night, when Phillip was upstairs and Alex was doing something, John found himself looking through some old photos he had printed out of his college days. Most of them were of him drinking with friends, having fun. They were nice. Then he began to look at the photos of when Phillip's mom got pregnant when she moved in with him.

"Whatcha looking at?" Alex asked, coming into John's room.

John smiled and patted the spot next to him on his bed. "Just some old photos of my high school days." John passed a bunch of Phillip's mom and got to pictures of him and a newborn Phillip Laurens. "Wasn't he the cutest little baby? And look at all that hair. Man, he was something really special. Didn't sleep though."

"Oh?" Alex mused, looking at John.

John shook his head, laughing. "I think he would sleep for about, oh, I dunno, half an hour, then he would wake me up and have me walk around my dorm for another half an hour to get him back to sleep." John chuckled as he showed Alex one of John asleep on his bed with Phillip on his chest. Most of them were taken by Maria, who helped John out with the baby for a while since she was also really good with kids. "This was during finals week of the last semester of my last year of college. Phillip was like, four months old, and I was supposed to study, but I just passed out the moment I sat down."

"Did you do okay on the final?" Alex asked curiously.

John snorted. "I failed almost all of my finals that semester. It was why I dropped out. Well, that, and I had a kid I needed to be taking care of. I just, I didn't have time for school anymore." John smiled at a picture of him, Phillip, Herc, and Maria surrounding a little birthday cake in an apartment. "William was with his mother that day, and I remember Herc got sad because the babies couldn't socialize. I thought that was funny, then I got super paranoid about Phillip getting enough socialization after reading some parenting books."

"Wow," Alex laughed. "I think Phillip is doing just fine on the social skills level. I mean, the kid is better than me. When his friends see him, they get all happy. When my friends see me, they just think 'oh, this bitch again.' I should probably get Phillip to give me some advice."

John chuckled, leaning against Alex a bit. "Hey, uh, I'm sorry if I put you on the spot back there. I kinda do this thing where I act before I think. If you're not ready to like, be a thing or something, then I totally get that. I mean, we've gone out on one date, and I'm pretty, I'm pretty hectic and I just want you to know that there's no pressure or anything and-"

"You know, I feel like you would go on forever if I just let you keep talking," Alex laughed, placing his hand on John's knee. "No, I mean, as long as you want to, I would just, I would love to be your boyfriend. I don't want you to feel like there's pressure though or anything, because I know sometimes you need time to think about stuff and-"

"Alright, we're just going around in circles," John sighed, putting his hand over Alex's. "We both obviously like each other, and we both obviously want to like, be a thing, so how about, we just are a thing and spare ourselves any awkward dance around, yeah?"

"God, you are so wonderful to date," Alex sighed.

John laughed. "What?"

"No, for real though, because any other person I dated, they just kinda expected me to guess what they were thinking, but I don't need to guess with you, you just say it." Alex paused, chuckling. "I just, it's so weird to think that a relationship can be more than weird mind games."

"Well I'm a single parent," John pointed out. "Dating for me has never been some on and off game. It's like 'are we doing this or not' because I don't have the time or energy to figure out what people are thinking."

Alex gently pressed a kiss to John's cheek. "You're the kind of Tinder profile I swipe right on, Jonathan Laurens."

John rolled his eyes. "Weirdass."


	10. Is Alexander flirting? Or is he just being a politician?

"News, news, news, news, news," Alex muttered, as he walked into the house, hurrying into the living room. It had officially been a year since he was reelected, and he was panicking. Today, there would be a two-hour news segment about approvement ratings of government officials, and Alex  _had_  to know.

"Hey, babe..." John trailed off as Alex sped passed him without a hello. John was confused, since he was usually greeted with at least a kiss. John followed curiously into the living room, watching as Alex turned on the news and leaned forward. John had never seen the man so interested in the news. Sure, Alex watched it, since he was a politician, and had to keep up to date on everything, but never had he seen Alex so entranced. Usually, by now, he'd have scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Approval ratings for a lot of politicians in New York had largely been based on their support for President Donald Trump," said newscaster Lynn Berry, sitting at a half circle table with Bruce Beck, David Hyman, and Chris Cimino. Lynn looked serious, and this looked like a special news segment. "Many members of New York government have very clearly stated their wish for his impeachment, including a large twitter battle between Alexander Hamilton and the president after a large inauguration dinner that Mr. Hamilton, a known immigrant, attended with Governor Washing and Gilbert De Lafayette, another known immigrant."

"Hey! Hey! I'm here!" Thomas' voice rang through the house.

"They just mentioned my Twitter fight with Trump, but nothing else," Alex called back.

"Hey, John," Thomas smiled as he brushed past the younger man and entered the living room. "I got chips and a red button that buzzes so we can call bullshit. Is Lafayette here yet? He's usually early."

"Yeah, I dunno," Alex mumbled. "Maybe he died. Shut up, I can't hear."

"Hey, uh, is there something going on that I should know?" John asked out loud, still not understanding why two grown men were engrossed with the TV like kids on Saturday morning. "Because, like, I want to know if someone is getting impeached."

Alex, who was too absorbed, didn't turn around and answer. Instead, Thomas did. "Well, it's been a year since we were all elected, so they're doing a news segment on our ratings and approval. Alex has always been obsessed with this, but you can sit down with us if you like. Where's Pip?"

"He's at a playdate," John answered. "Hanging with Beverly and Sally." John came over and sat next to Alex. "So what's going on?"

This time, it was Alex who answered. "Right now, they're talking about political news, just shit that's happened in the past year. This is just a recap, really. Currently, they are at..." Alex paused, watching. "Oh, that sex scandal with Frederick and some pornstar, so they're reporting on April." Alex paused, thinking. "That would make the parent and child bill, uh-" He began to count on his fingers the months. "-April, May, June, July, August. Ah, okay, so they're about four months away from talking about that, but usually, a month only lasts a couple of minutes."

"This is entertaining?" John asked slowly.

Thomas nodded. "It's fun to see how the media portrays us."

"Sorry! Sorry! I am here! I apologize! I started making out with Hercules and I lost track of time," Lafayette explained as he jumped over the couch and sat down next to Thomas. "Did I miss much?"

"Just got finished talking about Fredrick's sex scandal," Thomas explained.

"Ah, yes," Lafayette nodded. "Hello, Alex. Hello, John."

Alex grunted.

"Hi, Lafayette," John sighed, sitting back a bit. "Is Peggy joining us?"

"Peggy doesn't care about this stuff," Thomas explained. "She thinks it's stupid."

"Wonder why," John muttered.

"All of you, hush up," Alex complained. "I wanna hear what they're saying."

"The months of June and July were surprisingly quiet for New Yorkers, as long as we ignore Mr. Hamilton's out loud debate with John Adams," Chris chuckled.

"I have never heard an unimpeached elected official call another elected official fat, arrogant, anti-charismatic, and a national embarrassment," Lynn stated. "This, of course, was sparked by Mr. Adams suggestion to defund planned parenthood entirely. While the execution of expressing his opinion is unlike what is seen before, Hamilton gained much support for his vocal hostility towards Adams' proposal."

"Damn right," Alex muttered.

"Moving on to August, we have a big controversy that is still being discussed today, according to inside sources," Bruce stated. "The Parent and Child bill, a bill providing financial aid to lower class parents, was repealed in order to finance a pay raise. Despite New York's mainly democratic and liberal population, Republicans and centrists outnumbered Democrats this time, repealing the bill."

"Sources close to the Governor say that the repeal may not be permanent, though," David put in. "After Alexander Hamilton publicly challenged the vote, the governor agreed to schedule another trial and vote. Alexander Hamilton, Gilbert De Lafayette, and Peggy Schuyler are the main elected officials who had spoken out against the repeal, though rumors say that Thomas Jefferson has recently been asking other members of his party to toy with the idea to undo the repeal."

Alex grinned and clapped Thomas' shoulder.

"September went by in a flash, and yes, we've said the name enough for one lifetime, but our topic is back on Alexander Hamilton," Lynn started, giving a tight-lipped smiled to the camera, obviously annoyed with the subject matter.

"Man, I'm popular this year," Alex laughed.

"Many sources have spotted Mr. Hamilton with a much younger man, walking around New York together, accompanied by a small child," Lynn continued as a picture of John, Alex and Phillip walking down the street flashed across the screen. Phillip and John's faces were blurred, causing John to become very grateful.

"Wow, at least they blurred my face," John mumbled. "At least they blurred Pip's face."

"Mr. Hamilton has refused to speak on these rumors, asking reporters to keep the questions on politics and off his personal life," Lynn continued. "But after this Tabloid article was published, with pictures of Alex and the man together, it cannot seem to be denied that Mr. Hamilton has found his missus."

"Are they fucking kidding me?" Alex snapped. "I'm dating a fucking man and they want to pull that bullshit? No, okay, no, okay, they want to fucking play around? Sure, let's fucking do this." Alex pulled out his phone, grumbling angrily. "Found my missus. I'll show them what I found. I found some complete and utter bullshit."

"Alex, should I be calling a lawyer for the tweet you're about to send out?" Thomas sighed heavily.

"No," Alex shot back.

"Read it to me," Thomas commanded.

Alex sighed. "Found my missus? What I found was a reporter who seemed to not understand what the hell a gay relationship is. Lynn Berry, check yourself, and be grateful my boyfriend is not suing for using a picture of him without his consent."

"I wouldn't sue," John put in. "I figured something like that was going to happen since I was dating a public figure. As long as they blurred Pip's face."

"She doesn't know you wouldn't sue," Alex replied, posting the Tweet. "No, okay, I hate this. I hate how personal politics are. It's all because of that mother fucker who published his fucking sex scandal."

"That was like, eight hundred years ago," Lafayette pointed out.

"First of all, it was two hundred years ago," Alex started. "Second of all, I don't get it! I don't get what's so entertaining about knowing which politician is sleeping with who! If I want John to pound me in my free time, then that's my business, I don't see why I should have to tell the state of New York!"

"You want me to do what in your free time?" John asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Please, I've wanted you to fuck me since I met you, you must've known a little bit," Alex scoffed. "Anyway, I think it's just bullshit! It doesn't matter who I'm fucking, who Thomas is fucking, what Laf is wearing, what matters is that we are making this a better and safer state!" Alex groaned. "Ugh, I just-"

"Okay, shut up, they're talking about the important things now," Thomas snapped.

"Approval ratings for almost every official have been up and down this year," David started. "Governor Washington started the year with a high approval rating, though it dipped around July for his public slander of the mass majority of founding fathers, talking about things he claims history books don’t want us to know."

"Whatever," Lafayette scoffed. "He was right. All those guys were assholes."

"Phat truth," John mumbled.

"Centrist comptroller George King's approval ratings stayed pretty flat until he expressed his support for the Parent And Child bill publicly," Bruce started. "This statement sparked a backlash from the Republican side and support from most Democrats."

"I don't care about these people, get to us," Alex groaned as the newscasters went on. "I literally have no regard for John Adams. He can suck my dick."

"You really hate him, don't you?" John asked, placing his hand on Alex's knee.

Alex nodded. "He's a scoundrel."

The newscasters went on, and the four men took commercial breaks to use the restroom or get snacks. John found himself munching on snap peas like there were chips, while Alex pigged out on some Cheetos. John had to admit, this was boring, but he enjoyed watching Alex get all riled up. The man could not seem to calm down, and John thought it was oddly cute. Alex really was passionate about this, so John could sit through it.

"Now we're looking at an official who, by his role, should not be too popular but has quite obviously made a mark. Alexander Hamilton's ratings have been up and down throughout the year. Despite the statements that he is a Democrat, many how found his policies to be centrist more than partisan," Chris started.

"That's because no one will vote for them if they're actually democratic," Alex grumbled.

"Currently, Hamilton's approval ratings are at steady high, still earning a vote from the mass majority of the state of New York," Chris went on. "Though, of course, we cannot be sure they will not change tomorrow."

"Haha!" Alex cheered. "But they're good today! Take that, motherfucker!"

"Good job Alex," John smiled, kissing Alex's cheek.

"Haha, fuck America. Immigrants, we get the job done," Alex nodded, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Look how far we've come!" Lafayette chanted, pumping his fist.

"Shut up, shut up, it's my turn," Thomas said quickly.

"Party boy Thomas Jefferson's ratings have actually dropped this year, many people questioning his loyalty to the Republican party, especially due to his almost centrist ideas and his support behind democratic laws and bills," Chris stated. "Many think that next election he may announce he's switched sides, though Jefferson has refused to comment."

"Well, that blows," Thomas mumbled.

"Pick a side!" Alex complained. "You say you're a republican, yet you're a black guy who fucks other black guys, you support democratic ideals, and you call yourself a Republican because that's all you've ever called yourself. You're thirty-six, get out of this phase. You're a Democrat, deal with it."

Thomas groaned. "It is really in my best interest to just switch, isn't it?"

"It is, plus you can go to our luncheons," Lafayette pointed out. "Oh! Shut up! Shut up! It's me! My turn!"

"Gilbert De Lafayette had a mass majority of citizens supporting him," Lynn started. "While many Republican officials have publicly criticized his methods, if he were to run for reelection right now, he would likely win."

"Fuck yeah!" Lafayette cheered. "Man, this is a good day."

"Alright, see you later, Alex," Thomas sighed, standing up. "I have a date with James tonight, so I gotta go get ready for that."

"Wait, what?" John gasped. "I thought he thought you were a repulsive little beetle!"

"Yeah, but then we had sex on Halloween and I cooked him breakfast the next morning and we kind just, hung out for a little bit," Thomas explained. "But yeah, I asked him on a date and he said sure, so I gotta go get ready for that."

"Go you Thomas, finally go out and fall in love with someone," Alex cheered, pumping his fist. "Lord knows you haven't been in a relationship since the nineties."

Thomas smiles cheekily. "At least I didn't get married for a green card."

"Because you didn't have to," Alex shot back, flipping the older man the bird.

Thomas just cackled as he walked out of the house, knowing that his words held no cruelty, and neither did Alex's. John thought the relationship was odd but reminded himself that they both fought in the war together, so the teasing was probably something they had been doing since they first met.

"I should probably head back too," Lafayette smiled, standing up. "I am spending the night at Herc's place, and I still need to bring some clothes for tomorrow. Goodbye, John Laurens, goodbye Alexander, I will see you both next time we meet."

"Bye!" John sang, placing his hand on Alex's thigh. Lafayette left and Alex cuddled more into John, his eyes still fixed on the TV as he watched other faces of his coworkers flash across the screen. John placed his arm around Alex, sighing sweetly as the warmth from the smaller man radiated through John.

"You know," Alex started. "We have the house to ourselves."

"Oh? You gonna try to make up for not even saying hello to me when you got home?" John teased, raising an eyebrow.

Alex scoffed. "In my defense, it was important."

"Mm-hm," John hummed.

"Oh, don't be like that," Alex whined, leaning up and pressing his lips to John's neck. "Come on, I missed you."

"Oh, you missed me?" John laughed, pushing Alex onto his back. "You missed me, huh?" John chuckled and leaned down, planting a kiss on Alex's neck and making his voice husky. "Prove it."

Alex wrapped his legs around John's waist, smiling and running his fingers through John's hair as the younger man gently kissed his neck. The couch was not as comfortable as it should've been, but Alex didn't mind. All he could focus on was the weight between his hips. John kissed up Alex's jaw, until he finally found Alex’s lips. Alex arched his back, his head rolling back as John slid his tongue into Alex’s mouth. The kiss was wet, and when John pulled away to kiss Alex’s chin and cheekbones again, Alex's lips were dark and shiny. A blush spread over both their cheeks as John stared down at Alex, both their pupils dilated. The younger man's hair provided a canopy, and John found himself pulling it over one shoulder. Alex smiled as he helped move a few strands of hair behind John's ear.

"Hey, while I have you," Alex remembered, sit up a bit.

John laughed, leaning over to peck Alex's lips. "Yes, while you have me."

Alex rolled his eyes, grinning, letting his hands run up and down John's back. "In eight days, there's a big gala. The city rents out a big celebration hall and we all get dressed up in tuxes and stuff, and walk around acting snobbish and talking about politics, and usually I go alone, but if you and Pip wanted to like, I dunno, come play house with me, eat fancy foods, drive a nice car, it would be nice."

"Is there any particular reason this is party thing is being thrown?" John questioned.

Alex nodded. "Sort of. It's sort of just, we do one every year, we converse, I dunno. It's like, a morale boost or something. I never really go to it, but now I have people who I want to go with me. I mean, like, you don't have to go if you don't want to. There's no pressure or anything."

"No, I'll go," John stated. "But, neither Phillip nor I have fancy clothes."

"Oh, I can splurge on you," Alex offered. "I wouldn't mind. You guys need some fancy clothes, and you deserve a little sugaring."

"Oh? Am I your sugar baby now?" John asked amusedly.

Alex nodded. "Yes, you are. I'm gonna buy you and Phillip suits, and then I'm gonna take you both to a ball, and you're gonna have fun."

"Oh? That's how it's gonna go?" John chuckled and gently leaned down, kissing Alex's lips. "Okay then, daddy."

"Yuck," Alex muttered. "Don't call me daddy."

John sat up, pulling Alex onto his lap and kissing his neck. "What kind of stuff are you into, Alex? I've tried to guess, but I don't know."

"Well, I like to write a lot," Alex started.

"No, no, baby, like, sex-wise," John amended, laughing.

"What do you mean?" The immigrant questioned, absolutely clueless to what John was saying to him.

"Like, kinks," John elaborated.

"Oh!" Alex gasped. "Uh, well, um, I kinda, um, I kinda like rough sex."

"Oh thank God," John murmured, his voice adopting a husky quality again. "I can't do that sweet shit."

Alex laughed, wrapping his arms around John's neck. "Uh, I also really like being dominated. I just, I find that really enjoyable." Alex paused, feeling his cheeks warm up. "Um, what about you?"

"I like bondage," John stated. "Not on me, though."

Alex blushed deeply, giggling and burying his face in John's chest.

"What?" John laughed. "You asked."

"You're just so honest about it," Alex gasped out. "I didn't expect that. What else do you like? Because, like, I mean, do your worst."

"Uh, well, I like, sort of like, like, really rough shit," John continued.

"Would you slap me during sex?" Alex asked quickly, wondering if he'd finally found someone who would do that.

"Would you want me to?" John clarified.

Alex nodded.

"Then sure," John laughed. "Come on, there has to be more you like."

"Uh, I mean, I really enjoy being hurt," Alex laughed. "Like, leave bruises on me, please. Oh, and I really enjoy pet names, but I don't like calling people things like master or anything. It makes me uncomfortable."

"Alright," John nodded.

"I can't believe we're just sitting on my couch talking about our kinks. We haven't even had sex yet and suddenly we're just like, talking about this stuff and I mean, oh my God, I'm sorry, I'm probably blushing." Alex covered his face with his hands.

"You're so fucking cute," John sighed, moving Alex's hands and dragging the man back into a kiss. Alex giggled against John's lips, tugging the younger man's hair, as John groped his ass. The kiss began to get more heated and John smacked Alex's ass roughly, the sound echoing through the room. Alex moaned and bit John's lip, grinding down on the semi-boner that had formed below his ass. John straddled Alex and rocked, desperate to create friction. Alex saw this and trailed his hand down to John’s waistband to peel off his jeans.

"Hey, John!" Salley shouted from downstairs. "We're here!"

"Fuck," John croaked, standing up and leaving Alex on the couch, trying to get rid of the bulge in his jeans. "We're upstairs in the living room!"

"What do I do?" Alex asked, looking down at his clothed erection.

"Think about someone who is parental to you," John answered.

Alex thought for a second about Washington, then sighed. "There we go. Okay, it's gone. We’re good."

John smiled as Phillip entered the room, picking up his son and changing entirely in demeanor. Alex found himself observing John; the way he went from some sex  _god,_  to a kid-friendly parent. Alex pushed himself up from the couch and kissed the top of Phillip's head as Sally walked in, Beverly holding her hand.

"Hey, guys," Sally smiled, her afro tied up into two space buns, looking quite pretty. Sally had always been pretty, and it was something that was very easy to acknowledge. From her dark brown skin to her large afro; her large and plump lips and her dirty colored eyes. She reminded him somewhat of Phillip's mom, Martha, but only in the hair.

"Hey, Sal," John greeted. "How was Phillip?"

"An angel, as always," Sally replied. "Hey, Alex."

"Hey," Alex nodded, offering her a kind smile.

"Alright, John, I do gotta run, but I'll see you at work tomorrow. Love you, dear," Sally told John, leaning in and kissing his cheek.

"Love you too, Sally," John said, waving a bit.

"Does she work at the dance studio with you?" Alex asked as Sally left.

John shook his head. "No, she works at the bar with me."

"Oh, Sally has a second job?" Alex mumbled curiously as they all sat back down on the couch. "She a bartender?"

"No, she, uh, she dances," John said softly. "I feel like I've told you this before."

"Oh! Oh, yeah, you have," Alex nodded. "Sorry, I have like, a terrible memory."

John chuckled, then looked to Phillip. "How was your playdate, Phillip?"

"It was awesome," Phillip smiled, peering up at John. "Sally made us Eggo waffles and then we colored and we played Candyland, and Peggy gave us strawberries. I like Sally and Beverly best. They're quiet and their hair has a good feeling."

"Wow, that's awesome," John chuckled, brushing some hair out of Phillip's face. "What do you want for dinner tonight, buddy? We could make pasta with chicken, we could make chicken burgers, or something else. Do you have any ideas?"

"We should have chicken burgers," Phillip suggested, smiling.

"Alex, does that sound good?" John asked.

Alex nodded. "It sounds wonderful."

-

"This feels weird," Phillip grumbled, fidgeting in his suit as John tried to tie his tie. The task was proven difficult since Phillip was moving around, but John did the best he could, despite the moving kid.

"I know, I don't like it either," John whispered in agreement. "But we're doing this for Alex, and it's just for a few hours. I promise, we won't have to do this against for a while, if ever, so we can do this, right buddy?"

Phillip groaned. "I wanna wear my pajamas though."

"Me too," John laughed. "But there's gonna be food, and people we know, and I won't leave you all night. It won't be as bad as you think, I promise." John kissed the top of Phillip's head. "I promise, when we get home, we can wear our favorite pajamas and watch our favorite movies and maybe eat some ice cream."

"Deal" Phillip decided.

"But, if you do want ice cream, I need you to not complain about anything for the night, okay? If you really need to, you can whisper it in my ear, but we wanna be nice to Alex," John stated. "Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise," Phillip nodded.

"Alright, I love you, buddy," John chuckled, kissing the top of Phillip's head.

"I love you too, Papa," Phillip replied. John picked Phillip up and glanced in the mirror quickly before making his way downstairs. He and Phillip looked almost like twins; freckled cheeks and brown skin against black and white tuxedos. John hadn't worn a tux since he lived with his dad, and Phillip had never even known what a tux was. They did look good though, Phillip with his hair done up in two braids so it'll stay out of his face, John with his curls pulled up into a bun.

"Well do you two just look like the belle's of the ball," Alex mused, leaning against the doorway into the living room, looking up from his phone as John and Phillip walked downstairs. "My own little Iron Dad and his Spider Son."

John rolled his eyes, blushing. "Thank you, Alex. Should we get going?"

Alex nodded, offering his. "I believe we should, my dear."

John side eyed Alex, but took his hand, stepping outside. The big black SUV was already started, which made John quite happy since it was mid-November and the temperatures had been dropping like crazy. John had never liked the cold. He wanted to spend his days on a beach, relaxing and getting tan, but instead, he had to deal with snow. It was in the high forties currently, and John felt a bit of urgency to get Phillip into the car, then seat down on a nice heated seat.

"God, it's cold," Alex mumbled, turning up the heat in the car a bit.

"Honestly," John laughed. "I love New York, but I would move to South America without a second thought. Never have had the money too, but man, it would be great."

"God, you're telling me," Alex smiled. "The moment I retire, I'm headed down to Puerto Rico for these winters. I'll spend October to March on the nice sandy beaches, and then I'll come back for the summer. I do like it here, despite... everything."

"Take me with you," John laughed.

"I always have the money for another ticket," Alex said in all seriousness. "And one more for you, Pip."

"A ticket for what?" Phillip, who rarely paid attention to adult conversations, asked.

"A ticket for whatever you want," Alex smiled. "Hey, John, there are gonna be a couple reporters there, so I can ask them to blur out your face or Phillip's face or both."

"I don't really care if I'm in the pictures, but just, yeah, I don't want Phillip's face out in the public," John answered. "I know you kinda, like, I know you get reporters taking pictures of you, and I'm fine with appearing in some, but like, Phillip is five, and I don't really want his face all over the internet just yet."

"Got it." Alex nodded, turning onto a different street and nearing the celebration hall. "I'll just tell them to keep Phillip out of the photos."

"I'm sorry, I feel like I'm bothering you with this and-"

"Hey," Alex interrupted. "No, you know, I don't really want Phillip's face all over the internet either. I have a career, one bad tabloid headline is not going to ruin me, but I don't want anything happening that could jeopardize Phillip's future. Besides-" Alex laughed. "I just need to tell them once. They know I have a kick-ass lawyer who will sue them for all they're worth, plus their first born child."

"Oh? What kind of big money do you have to be able to afford someone like that?" John teased, poking Alex's side.

"It's actually one of my army friends," Alex chuckled. "She went to law school, and now she kinda just travels around the country and works cases for black people in racist states. She works for pennies, so we signed her on as one of our state lawyers, just so she won't become homeless or anything. Whenever we have a big case that we really need someone good on, we call her in. Other than that, she just kinda, works cases for people who really need it."

"That's nice," John smiled. "So, like, what's the vibe of these things?"

"Uh, well, like, sort of snobby, but as long as you smile and drink your wine like you're a fifty-year-old rich lady and speak in proper grammar, they won’t bug you," Alex stated.

"Oh, man, now I wanna like, start talking the way I did in the south," John laughed.

"You talked differently in the south?" Alex asked, raising his eyebrows.

John smirked and reverted into his southern accent, feeling almost like a high schooler again. "Well ‘course I did. Ain't no city talk when ya from the south."

"Oh my god, I absolutely adore that," Alex sighed, looking over at John. "Like, that was one of the most beautiful things I've heard come from your mouth, please never stop talking like that, ever. Like, just, like, I loved that more than I love the McDonalds tastes at three in the morning, and I love that more than anything."

John, totally not expecting Alex to praise him for that, was instantly caught off guard and too flustered to really get words out for a second. "Oh, uh, thank you."

Alex smiled over at John. "It's a lot prettier than the New York accent I picked up over the seventeen years of living here."

"Shut up, New York accents are nice," John laughed.

"They're big and clunky," Alex snorted, pulling up to the hall. "Alright, here we are."

John raised his eyebrows at the large building, then got out, unbuckling Phillip and carrying him on his hip. He watched Alex hand his keys to the valet, and began to wonder just how out of his league he was here. He didn't really know if Herc or James were coming, but he knew for a fact that Sally wouldn't be coming since Peggy never came to these things.

"Shall we?" Alex asked softly, breaking John out of his trance.

"We shall," John replied, taking Alex's hand and letting the older man lead him inside. They walked into a small room, a few hallways going off of it, then two people opened the large double doors, welcoming Alex, John, and Phillip into a large golden room. John squeezed Alex's hand as he gaped for a second, looking around at the people, the fashion.

"Whoa," Phillip gasped.

"You guys ever seen anything like this?" Alex asked.

"I should go," John mumbled quietly.

"What? No, why?" Alex whined, gently touching John's arms.

John glanced around. "Alex, I, I don't belong here. There are at least a billion dollars in this room right now, and my net worth is like, ten bucks and a Target coupon. I just, I don't belong here. I'm not, I'm not like these people and I'll probably end up doing something that'll embarrass you and these are all your work colleagues, and I just feel like I shouldn't be here."

"Hey," Alex said softly. "Don't let these people intimidate you. They're just a bunch of jerk capitalists with no regard for other people. You are ten times better than a lot of them, so you're right. You don't belong here. You belong to people who are much better. I promise you, though, it's gonna be okay."

John sighed. "Okay."

Alex smiled and pecked John's lips. "Thank you."

John sighed, but smiled and let Alex lead him through the crowd. John set Phillip down, holding the little kid's hand as Alex navigated them through the crowd to meet some people. John could practically smell the money and eight hundred different types of cologne. Phillip could smell it too and had taken to breathing through his mouth. The poor kid was crotch level, so he kept coming face to face with large belt buckles that compensated for something. In his head, John seriously just wanted to bolt, but he smiled at Alex. He was going to be a supportive boyfriend tonight, regardless of what it meant.

"Peter King, Lee Zeldin, Charles Schumer," Alex smiled, greeting three men. "I would like you all to meet my date tonight, John Laurens."

"Ah, mister Laurens, I've heard much about you," Peter said, shaking John's hand.

"It's nice to finally meet you," Lee chuckled.

"Is this your son?" Charles asked.

John nodded awkwardly. "Yes, this is Phillip."

"And what do you want to be when you grow up?" Peter asked, kneeling down a bit.

"An anarchist," Phillip answered, smiling up at Peter.

John laughed, feeling his cheeks heat up. "He doesn't really know what that means yet.” John assured Lee. “He's a bit young to take down governments, but I'll give it time."

Lee chuckled amusedly. "And what do you do, John?"

"I'm a dance teacher," John answered, smiling. "I work down on Broadway."

"Hmm," hummed Charles. "Alexander, I heard about your proposed tax raises."

"Oh, I try not to talk politics out of the office," Alex laughed. "But while we're on the subject, yet, I did propose some tax raises and here's why."

John tuned Alex out almost instantly, looking down at Phillip who was obviously trying his best to not complain. The kid was leaning against John's leg, possibly attempting to sleep while standing up. John felt bad for him and picked Phillip up, letting the kid rest his head against his shoulder so he wouldn't have to stand for the next eight billion hours while politicians politely argue. John found himself slowly becoming a bit tired from the conversation too. He didn't care about the government. He thought it should be wiped out and a socialist society should rise up.

"John, what do you think of your date's ideas to raise taxes?" Peter asked.

John shrugged. "Honestly, I'm a socialist. Really, I think it's you people who should be getting taxed. I mean, how many people could you have fed with the money you spent on this celebration hall? I'm sure there's enough spare money in this room to fix Flint, Michigan's water, and yet the problem remains." John sighed. "That probably wasn’t the most intelligent response, but that’s how I feel about taxes. The tax raises he’s proposed may be a strain, but I know he wouldn’t have proposed them if he saw any other way to get the money."

Lee smiled a tight-lipped smile. "You sure know how to pick them, Alexander."

"I'm gonna get a drink," John replied, turning on his heel to find the drink table, which he knew had to be somewhere. It took a little bit, but finally, John and Phillip were making their way to the drink and food table. Skinny champagne glasses were laid out over the wooden table, filled to about the middle with champagne. John looked at the woman who was pouring the glasses exhaustion in his eyes. "Do you have anything stronger?"

"Rough night?" The woman laughed. When John nodded, she handed him a glass that was all the way full. "We don't, but here."

John downed it like a shot, then smiled. "Thank you."

"No problem," she replied as John walked away.

"You know, Phillip, we are filled with a room of people who do not care a single bit about poor people," John started. "I want you to remember that you are allowed to have a voice. Do not think you are powerless to the system. Speak up, do not be afraid, and remember that I will always have your back."

"Yeah!" Phillip cheered. "Eat the rich!"

John snorted at the looks people gave him. "Shh, Pip, not so loud."

"Cute kid," someone muttered.

John smiled and kissed the side of Phillip's head. "Are you hungry buddy?"

Phillip nodded. "Let's get pizza."

A laugh came from John as he made his way over to the food table. "I don't think they have pizza, but maybe something looks good." John got closer to the food table and he and Phillip began to scan over what there was. It was a lot of raw fish, some escargot, and other things John didn't want to look at. "Well, Phillip, you are allergic to fish, so it's probably best if we stay away from here."

"I'm hungry," Phillip whined.

"I know, me too," John replied. "Let's go find Alex, and then order a pizza and find a place to eat it. He's probably somewhere around here." John looked around as he began walking through the crowd. "What kind of pizza should we have?"

"Sausage," Phillip answered. "Can we go outside? There are too many noises going on in here and it's making my head hurt."

"That sounds really good right now, holy crap," John mumbled, his eyes glancing around the room to find the messy hair of his boyfriend. There had to be at least two hundred people, and finding Alex was beginning to look pretty hopeless. John could feel his stomach gnawing away at him since he hadn't really eaten all day, and he could tell Phillip was getting hungry too.

"John, there you are!" Alex's voice chimed.

John found where the voice was coming from and smiled as Alex came up to the two of them. "Hello, darling. We were just looking for you because-"

"Perfect, I was just looking for you, there are a few people who want to meet you," Alex stated, still smiling brightly as he took John's hand and pulled him through the crowd.

John heard Phillip groan and sighed, kissing the top of the kid's head. "I know, ten more minutes."

"Grace, Nadia, please, may I introduce my date, John, and his son, Phillip," Alex simpered, smiling his big politician smile and using his commercial-like politician's voice.

"It's wonderful to meet you, John," Grace stated, shaking John's hand.

"A pleasure," Nadia agreed, shaking John's hand as well.

"Indeed," John replied, smiling at them both.

"John works down on Broadway as a dance teacher," Alex started.

The older man went to continue his parading of John, and John realized that's what this was for. It was a bit of a pissing contest with other politicians. Obviously, Alex did like John, and at home, he acted like a normal person, but politician Alex was way different than homely Alex. John couldn't help but feel like a trophy being shown off to everyone. It felt like he was just a shiny belt buckle for Alex to brag about, and he wasn't exactly the biggest fan of the feeling.

"Hey, I'm gonna go find a bathroom, nature calls," John laughed. He gently kissed Alex's cheek, trying to fill his role a little bit before he sat in the foyer for the rest of the night eating pizza. "I'll see you soon, lovely."

"Alright, darling," Alex replied, smiling cheekily at John.

John walked away from the group, then back out through the double doors and out onto the front steps of the celebration hall. The clouds had gone away since John walked in, so it had warmed up a bit. John sat down and ordered the pizza, then leaned back, letting Phillip climb into his lap and lean against his chest. Phillip was tired, he closed his eyes as he leaned against his father's chest, letting John gently stroke the top of his head.

A few minutes pass, and John saw a pizza delivery car pull up and a kid get out, shaking his head at the valet and walking up the steps. John waved at him. "Sausage pizza?"

"Yup," the kid nodded.

"That's me," John laughed, pulling out his wallet and handing the kid money and a tip. "Thank you."

"No problem," the kid replied, handing John the pizza and then leaving.

"Pizza!" Phillip cheered, bouncing as John sat down and opened the box. The two of them both grabbed a slice and began eating happily. Phillip perked up as he ate more, his blood sugar probably rising a bit.

"I thought I saw someone come out here," A voice laughed.

John whipped his head around to see Governor Washington walking down the steps. "Oh, uh, governor Washington. It's not because that was boring or the food was gross, you know, kids. They're always so picky. And Phillip is allergic to fish anyway so we couldn't-"

Washington held up his hand to stop John's rambling. "I hated being in there as much as you did."

John paused, then sighed. "I felt like I was a trophy being paraded around."

"This is why I never bring dates to these things," Washington laughed. "Being a politician in a room full of politicians changes the way you act. I just wanna be a person with Martha."

"Martha..." John trailed off, his eyes widening. "Martha my boss?"

Washington smiled and looked down. "We've been on a couple of dates since that dance show. No one knows though, because I try to keep things pretty secret in my personal life. It makes me uncomfortable when I don't have an ounce of privacy. I assume you came with Alex?"

John nodded. "I guess him and I are finally a thing."

"Yes, I did hear about that romp around central park," Washington laughed. "May I have a slice? Sushi isn't my favorite."

"Oh, yeah, sure," John said, offering the box. "It's sausage."

"Perfect," Washington replied, taking a slice. "How are you enjoying Alex?"

John snorted at the weird way that was phrased. "Uh, he's nice. He's really nice. It's weird to see him go into politician mode since he's always so relaxed at home."

"He gets anxious at these things," Washington laughed. "He has a nasty habit of arguing with whoever isn't a liberal, and while this is New York, there are still republicans."

John smiled and looked down. "So, you were Alex's major in the army?"

Washington nodded. "Yeah, he joined when he was eighteen, but I was his major until he was twenty and got his Ranger tab. He was a wild kid. Believe it or not, he used to be the most reckless kid; he could not be tamed. I mean, he still is sometimes, but not as bad as he used to be."

"You think he just matured or something?" John asked as he stroked Phillip's hair. The small kid had quieted down at the presence of a stranger, which is something he did often.

"I think he just, he changed," Washington sighed. "He didn't really transition back to civilian life too well, and he just, I think he's still transitioning sometimes."

John nodded. "I see that sometimes."

Washington looked over at John. "He can be difficult to handle. He'll go through these sporadic episodes where he seriously feels like he's running out of time and works way more than he should. Alex was one of the best soldiers I had, and he's one of the smartest, hardest working people I work with, he's just crazy sometimes."

"But, he's good, right?" John asked.

Washington nodded. "One of the best men you'll ever meet. He's had a bit of history, but in the end, he only does what he thinks is best." The governor smiled as he took another bite of his pizza slice. "He really likes you, do you know that?"

John raised an eyebrow.

"He talks about you," Washington informed him. "He's happy with you, which is much more than I can say about most of his past relationships."

John smiled. "I'm happy with him."

John's phone buzzed. He pulled it out and smiled. "Speak of the devil, he wants to know where I disappeared off too."

"Invite him out," Washington suggested.

John smiled and nodded, telling Alex to come outside. "He's nice. He's really good with this little guy too. He said he wasn't good with kids, but he seems okay."

"He thinks he's bad with kids, but he's absolutely fine. Just gets in his own head," Washington explained.

"Okay, I've gotta ask, are you like, his adopted parent or something?" John questioned, looking at Washington. "You guys just seem to have that kind of relationship, and I'm genuinely curious about it."

"Alex is not my legal son, and if I acknowledge the fact that we have a paternal relationship, he'll bite my head off. But if no one explicitly  _says_  it, he’ll let it happen. I just don't bring it up for him," Washington explained. "He's the reason I started fostering kids. Alex had such a difficult uprising because he was in the system on and off. I couldn’t help wanting to change the life of a kid like him, so I started fostering other kids."

"Hey, John, and, sir?" Alex said, curiously stepping down the steps to where they sat.

"Pizza?" John asked, holding up the box. "It's sausage."

Alex sat down on the step in front of John and accepted a piece. "What are you guys doing out here? You know there's food in the hall, right?"

Washington shrugged. "It was too crowded in there."

"And Phillip is allergic to fish," John added, taking another piece for himself and taking a bite. "Aren't you buddy?" John looked down and found that Phillip was passed out and leaning against him, a pizza crust still in his hand. "Aw."

"You don't seriously like these things, do you, Alex?" Washington mused as he leaned back. "They're just, they're boring. I don't even like going to these things."

"Then why do you throw them?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't, this isn't my responsibility. James Monroe is the one who is responsible for this," Washington scoffed. "I think that these sorts of events are stupid."

"I like that I can argue with whoever I can find," Alex chuckled.

"You already do that at work," Washington laughed. "I think I'm going to run for re-election one more time, and then be done. Take my money and move to Long Beach Island, walk down to the cafe's in the morning, spend the day reading on the beach, and sleep a  _lot_. What about you, Alex?"

"I want to be governor," Alex stated.

John raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

Alex nodded. "I've been taught about this job by one of the best governors New York has seen in years, by the time it'll be my turn to run, I'll have been a citizen for over fifteen years, and I'll have been a resident of New York for over five. I'm devoted, I have the qualifications, and I'm a sexually diverse Hispanic democratic immigrant. I'm basically the poster child for New York."

"You'll have my support," Washington told Alex. "I'll have to start my campaigning soon, so you can always feel free to come and see how I do it."

"Oh, God, I'll have to start my campaign soon if I want to be reelected as what I am currently," Alex groaned. "I hate it. I hate the commercial filming. It's like, my least favorite part."

"You always do okay," Washington laughed.

"Last year, I was at my desk saying 'hello, you know me from all those terrible tabloid covers. I'm not actually addicted to meth, it's just how my face looks.' Then I talked about how I'm like, the only person with experience who's running for this position." Alex chuckled, leaning his head against John's leg. "When should I start campaigning again? Like, July or something?"

"Yeah, for your position. When you run for Governor, I would suggest starting around May. Door to door is always good," Washington suggested. "You have the brains to do this, Alex. It'll be nice to know that I'm leaving New York in good hands."

Alex smiled, looking up at John. "You can be my first man. Walk around in your little pantsuits and be like, a super dad or something."

"Whatever," John snorted. "It'll be a cold day in hell before I put on a pantsuit."

Alex smiled and kissed John's knee. "You would look cute."

John stuck his tongue out at Alex, bringing a laugh from the older man.

"You two are like a married couple," Washington commented.

John practically shot out of his skin at the sound of the word 'married.' He had been officially dating Alex for barely fifteen days since it was only mid-November, so marriage nowhere near his radar. John didn't like to think about serious commitment a lot of the times, because it made him nervous. He didn't like being vulnerable with people.

"Okay, and what about you and your mistress?" Alex said, thankfully changing the subject before it had gotten started.

"She is not my mistress, I just don't flaunt my love life to the world as you do," Washington teased.

"Okay, I do not flaunt it," Alex replied, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, John, I need you to know that this is such a lie," Washington pointed out. "He dated this one woman last year for  _maybe_  two weeks, and he would  _not_  go anywhere there would be media without her. He milked it for all it was worth."

"Well I'm better with John," Alex defended.

"For the sake of my child, you better be," John laughed, kissing the top of Alex's head.

"You guys should go home," Washington sighed. "Phillip is tired, and you two should relax. Alex, I will see you at work on Monday, John, I hope I will see you soon."

"I'll go tell the valet to get our car," Alex smiled, standing up and pecking John's lips. "And hey, when we get home, let's watch a movie and fool around."

"And this is when I say goodbye to you both," Washington sighed, standing up. "Martha is waiting for me at home with the kids, so I think I'm gonna call and Uber and head out."

"So you're like, dating my boss?" John asked. "Like, for real?"

Washington nodded. "I think she's a wonderful, beautiful person, and she makes me feel happy. I would love to continue things with her."

John was touched. "Well, if she was gonna end up with anyone, I'm glad you're the guy she likes. You seem pretty nice, and from what Alex has told me, you're a good person."

"Thank you, John," Washington smiled.

John stood up, cracking his back, then picked up Phillip, placing the kid on his hip. "I feel bad, I promised him ice cream and now he's asleep." John leaned down and grabbed the pizza box. "I'll let him have it tomorrow night. He behaved really well tonight, and I'm proud of him."

"You are a wonderful parent, you know that?" Washington sighed.

John shrugged and looked down. "Thank you."

"John, my darling, come to me," Alex called out as the car was pulled around.

"Coming," John replied. "Mr. Washington, it was wonderful talking to you."

"And it was wonderful talking to you too," Washington replied.

John walked down the front steps to the car, planting a small kiss on Alex's cheek before putting Phillip in the back, buckling him into his car seat. He then climbed into the passenger's side, holding the pizza box on his lap, sighing. He did feel tired but was happy when Alex reached over and took his hand.

"I know those aren't the most fun things to do," Alex started. "But thank you for coming."

"I kinda left halfway through," John pointed out.

"That's okay," Alex smiled. "Now, I'm a closeted liberal dating a socialist who is raising his kid to be a government-hating anarchist, and honestly? That's the best rumor about me that I've ever heard."

John smiled. "Well, I'm glad I could offer that for you."

Alex smiled and leaned back in his seat, holding John's hand. The car ride was mostly quiet since Phillip was asleep and John was a little drained too. When they got home, John was quick to put Phillip to bed with a promise of ice cream tomorrow. John sighed as he slipped off his dress shirt, ready for a shower. To John, there was nothing better than a nice warm shower after a long day, which today had been.

"Hey, I'm gonna shower," John said softly as he peered into Alex's room. "We can watch a movie or something after that if you want."

"Need some company?"

"Yeah, no," John replied cheekily. "Pick out a movie, something in English, and preferably in color, but whatever you find is good. I'll be out in fifteen."

"Alright, should I make popcorn or is the leftover pizza fine?" Alex asked.

"Pizza's fine," John replied. "Don't be too loud, Phillip just got to sleep."

"Alright," Alex nodded, watching John leave to the bathroom. Alex sighed, leaning back onto his bed and smiling. John was great. Alex was absolutely infatuated with him, and he couldn't seem to find a single flaw in the man. John was just, John. He was naturally so cool and collected, and he was just so put together and amazing. Alex couldn't believe he scored such a great guy, plus, a kid! Alex could just imagine them, holding hands and skipping down the street in a commercial for something only white folks would buy. He could see picking up Phillip from school and coming home to John dancing and cooking, having dinner, and just being happy.

Alex knew he missed his shot at a family when he was younger. Too much happened, and the chance he had was ruined, but maybe he had another chance, another option. He was incredibly happy to be with John, and he didn't want it to end. Maybe it didn't need to end. He sure hoped it didn't, because he really liked John. It had been a really long time since he had felt this way about someone, almost a decade now. He liked having this feeling back.

Alex jumped when his phone started buzzing, but he was glad to see the contact. "Peggy, hey, what's up?"

"Oh, not much, just thought I'd call to see how the thing went. I've heard a few things, something about a little kid saying he wanted to be an anarchist, and then someone is dating a socialist, so I figured I'd call you and confirm that they're all talking about your sugar baby," Peggy laughed.

"He's not my sugar baby," Alex whined as he put the phone on speaker so he could get dressed. "He just so happens to be poor and I just so happen to like spending money on him. To be fair, he doesn't even like me spending money on him."

"Okay, yeah, sure," Peggy snorted. "Have you met any person ever? People love expensive things! John not wanting you to spend money on him is not a socialist thing, I promise, it's a pride thing. You know how men are."

"Whatever, asshole," Alex snorted. "How was Sally's?"

"Well, I'm actually still there, but her and Bev passed out, so I'm sitting on her balcony," Peggy laughed. "She's really sweet. I like her."

"Are you guys like, official or something?" Alex questioned.

"Yeah, no," Peggy sighed. "She's just, she likes to take things slow, like, really slow, and I'm okay with that. Sometimes I do wanna scoop her up in my arms and just kiss her forever, you know? But like, I don't play like that, so I'll let her take her time."

Alex chuckled. "Have you heard from Angie? I haven't spoken to her in a bit."

"I actually called her today," Peggy chimed. "She's in Mississippi, working on some case about something. She misses you, but wanted me to tell you that she heard about your little boy toy and that she was down for threesomes."

"God, I really hafta stay away from Angie," Alex mumbled as he walked down to the living room. "At least for a while. She's just, she's-"

"Yeah you guys don't exactly have the best track record together, especially when you're in real relationships," Peggy snorted. "Seriously what is it about her?"

"I don't know," Alex mumbled. "Anyway, how's Lizzie gauge-my-eyes-out?"

"Eliza is doing fine," Peggy snorted. "Why do you care? I thought you were scared of her and thought she was a crazy bitch?"

"Yeah, I do," Alex nodded. "I'm terrified of the woman, but I feel like as her ex-husband, I'm required to have like, some sort of emotional attachment to her forever. Even if our whole marriage was a sham for a green card, and I hired her sister as a lawyer so I could get half her money, I still think I can care about her from a minimum of fifty feet away."

"Do you still have a restraining order on her or has that thing expired?" Peggy mumbled.

"No, no, it's expired," Alex laughed. "I have the option to take her back to court, but she was in London, and I had just made a big milestone in my therapy by realizing that I deserved basic human needs, so I thought it was best to just leave it alone. Besides, she's made no effort to contact me, so I'm good."

"That's good," Peggy laughed. "Oh, hey, how is John, by the way? Like, how are you two doing? Is shit working out?"

"Oh, man Peggy," Alex sighed. "I haven't felt like this about someone in, in a long time. He's just, he's fantastic. He's so great, and he's sweet, and my God, he's the hottest guy I've ever had in my house. He has a kid, so it's like, instantly family, and he's just so sweet. I just, I want to hug him with my legs. I want to eat his ass!"

"Since when are you dominate?" Peggy asked. "Even Eliza was dominating over you, and she wasn't a very dominant person, despite how fucking crazy she was."

"Yeah, no, I couldn't be dominant if someone held a gun to my head, but like, John just has such a pretty ass." Alex sighed. "He's like, he's a dancer, so he's crazy in shape, and his ass is just, it's like a bubble but with these two little dimples in the sides and fuck, I want to just, like, bury my face in that ass."

"Gross, I don't want to think about that," Peggy squealed, laughing. "You're like, my brother-in-law, I don't want to talk about you eating ass."

"You asked!" Alex defended. "And I'm not your brother-in-law anymore."

"You slept with both my sisters, so you're officially my brother-in-law for life," Peggy deadpanned. "What are your plans for tonight?"

"Oh, we're just gonna watch a movie, make out hopefully, eat pizza," Alex sighed. "Hey, girl, could you bring some strawberries to work on Monday for me? I'm craving fruit again."

"Wow, alert the media, Hamilton wants to eat something with vitamins and minerals," Peggy laughed. "Who are you and what have you done with my brother?"

"Beep boop, I am an alien robot, here to take over the world, starting with your garden," Alex said in a robotic voice. "Exterminate, exterminate."

"Oh, God, my Doctor Who phase was something we can just, ignore," Peggy laughed.

"Hey, I liked Doctor Who! I liked how we would sit and watch it together during family get-togethers after Eliza and I got into a fight," Alex smiled.

"Why did you stay with her so long?" Peggy mumbled. "You got the green card at like, twenty-one, and you guys were together for almost a decade. All you did was fight and fuck and fight some more, you cheated on her a thousand times, she cheated on you, and you both were miserable. You hated her by the time you were twenty-four."

"Would you be mad at me if I said-"

"The money," Peggy interrupted. "I forgot about the fact that Eliza was loaded. Yes, okay, nevermind, now I know."

"And look, Eliza and I had our good spots, we were happy sometimes," Alex commented. "Like, we did have good spots, we just, we have more bad spots than we have good spots, like when we would have sex, or when we weren't fighting."

Peggy groaned. "You are terrible."

Alex just laughed. "Peggy you know you love me. Just because I fucked both your sisters don't mean we can't be friends."

"Wow, what did I just walk in on?" John asked, stepping into the living room.

"Oh, hey John!" Alex gasped. From the other end of the line, Peggy was cackling, and John could hear it through the phone. Alex just laughed nervously. "Peggy, I gotta go, talk later."

"Good luck, Alex," Peggy snickered before hanging up.

John chuckled, sitting down on the couch. "I'm guessing you ex-wife came up?"

"She did," Alex nodded, cuddling up to John. "She asked me why I didn't divorce her after I got my citizenship, and I told her it was for the money."

"Peggy is just fine with you talking about her sister like that?"John questioned.

"Peggy has always been a black sheep in her family. She was the youngest, eccentric, and excitable. Eliza was crazy and bipolar, and Angie was put together and way older, so she never really had anyone to hang out with. I always thought she was really cool though, so usually after Eliza and I would fight and Eliza would lock me out of the room, I would go to Peggy's room and we would watch TV together and talk about how hot the characters were."

"Did you and Peggy ever..." John trailed off, not wanting to ask the full question.

"No, no, never," Alex said quickly. "She was fifteen when I met her, so I always considered her a little sister. It would be too weird."

"I get that," John nodded. "Did you pick a movie?"

"You know, I meant to, but then I got called by Peggy and my brain got totally sidetracked," Alex chuckled. "But the pizza is here, so there’s that. I dunno, what do you want to watch? I'm down for anything, but maybe with a vintage feel?"

"Uh, there's a movie about Frankie Valli on Netflix?" John suggested.

"Perfect," Alex replied. "My favorite things, all in one movie; Italians, the 50s, and swing music. How could it get any better?"

"You're weird," John snorted, adjusting himself so his legs were on the couch and Alex was sitting between them. Alex smiled and curled up closer as he found Jersey Boys and turned it on. John seemed to be subconsciously playing with Alex's hair as he watched the movie, but Alex loved it. He felt like a cat, leaning into John's touch and letting out small sounds of approval. He listened to John quietly since along, feeling the vibrations from his chest, and man, it felt really nice. Alex loved the way John's thighs felt against his hips, and John did too. Both men found themselves relishing in the romantic physical contact they had been deprived of for a while.

"Do you know all the lyrics?" Alex chuckled.

"My momma loved Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, so it would always play in the house," John replied. "Did you ever listen to them?"

"Oh, Washington loved them, but I never really listened to them," Alex shrugged. "You have a pretty voice."

John smiled, looping his arm around Alex's waist and hugging the man closer. "Thank you." John leaned down and pressed a kiss to Alex's neck. "You smell good."

Alex sighed happily, placing his hand over John's. "Do you wanna sleep with me tonight? Like, in my room? I mean, you don't have to, but you can if you want. You're always welcomed, and like, you don't need an invitation. If you just kinda came into my room with me and curled up next to me, I would be okay with it. You really don't have to ask."

"I dunno, I don't want you to feel like I'm invading your space and whatnot," John started. "I mean, I already live with you, I want you to be able to have privacy."

"Believe me, John, I've had way too much privacy for the past while," Alex laughed. "I want you to sleep with me. I mean, like, not sleep with me, but sleep with me. Not that I don't want you to sleep with me, I just, God, you know what I mean, right?"

John laughed, kissing Alex's shoulder. "Yes, I get it. I wouldn't mind sleeping in your room at all."

"Maybe we can make it a more permanent thing," Alex suggested. "Like, if you wanna move some things into my room, you know, that kind of stuff. Like, I just want you to know that you don't have to be afraid to make yourself at home. I really, I just, I want you to feel comfortable and I want you to think of this place as a home."

John smiled and nipped at Alex's neck. "I wouldn't mind that."

Alex smiled, rolling over so he was sitting on his knees between John's legs, then leaned down and kissed John. John smiled against Alex's lips, grabbing the older man's ass and pulling him closer. Alex smiled, running his fingers through John's hair as they kissed. It was a nice, gentle kiss. The movie played in the background as the two of them made out. John had to admit, Alex was a great kisser, and it was definitely a nice way to bring the night to a close. The movie ended, and Alex and John broke away, breathing heavily.

"You know, I could seriously get used to this," Alex laughed as they turned off the TV and began walking upstairs. Alex had quickly run down to take his meds earlier, so he didn't have to worry about that.

"Me too," John agreed as they entered Alex's room. They both lied down after Alex took a second to remove his leg, then John sighed, bringing Alex in for one more sweet kiss. "Goodnight, Alexander."

Alex smiled at John, sighing heavily. "Goodnight, John."


	11. *John, hitting Alex with his purse* DONT BE FUCKING RUDE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day I'm gonna republish all these chapters as the edited version

"Hey, we should go on a date," John suggested. It was a cold December morning, and John and Alex were upholding their tradition of driving to work together. Phillip had been dropped off, so it was just the two of them in the car, listening to talk radio. John had his hand resting on Alex's thigh as the older man drove.

"Oh?" Alex smiled, looking over. "When?"

"Well, tomorrow," John suggested. "It'll be a Friday, and we've barely been on a second date. I mean, us hanging out on your lunch break is nice, but I wouldn't mind going on another date. I liked our first one."

Alex chuckled. "Who do you think would take Pip?"

"Maria," John answered. "She's Pip's Godmother, and she's been begging to spend some time with her Godchild, so tomorrow will be perfect."

"That sounds nice, where do you wanna go? Where's somewhere you've never been?" Alex asked, placing his hand over John's.

John smiled, looking over at Alex. "Believe it or not, I've never been to the museum of modern art, and I heard they have a bunch of stuff from Warhol and Van Gogh, and art has always been cool to me."

"Did you study it in college?" Alex asked curiously.

"Actually, yeah, I was gonna be a dance major with an art history minor," John chuckled. "God, I should've just been a doctor or something. At least half a medical degree looks better than half a dance degree."

"Would you ever go back to college? Like, when Phillip got older?" Alex asked.

John shook his head, sighing. "There's no point. I have a job, and I'll be okay. I don't have the time, nor do I have the money. I mean, if it was feasible, then yeah, I'd go back to college, and I'd work get my degree, but the circumstances aren’t gonna be right for a really long time, and by then, by then there really won't be a point."

"That makes me sad," Alex mumbled softly, gripping John's hand. "You're obviously passionate about dancing, and you should’ve gotten to continue your education."

John shrugged, smiling a bit. "It doesn't really matter to me. I mean, for a while it did, but now, now all the matters is Phillip. I'm making this sacrifice for him, but he won't have to make the same sacrifice if he has a kid in college, because by then, I'll be around the age to not get weird looks if I'm carrying around a baby. Even if my son makes the same mistakes I did, he's not going to have to make the same sacrifices I did."

"Jesus," Alex whispered. "Do you even hear how wonderful you are?"

John just shrugged, smiling. "It's what happens when you have kids. Or, well, when most people have kids."

"Alright, I'll see you tonight," Alex sighed, dropping John off at his work.

John leaned over and kissed Alex on the lips. "I'll make dinner. I'm thinking grilled cheese and tomato soup? I'm feeling nostalgic and Phillip loves it."

"Sounds perfect," Alex replied.

"Alright, goodbye, have a good day," John smiled, stepping out of the car.

"You too," Alex called. The day went by quickly, John not minding the speed, since he was feeling worn out. He was taking the day off of his bartending job tomorrow so he wouldn't be totally exhausted for his and Alex's date. John, as promised, made dinner after he picked Phillip up, listening to his son's animated description of school that day, then Alex's PG description of the government that day. Phillip and Alex were both excited about Christmas break. John didn't have his dance classes over the break, though he did still have to work his bartending job. He was almost one hundred percent sure that he was going to have to work on Christmas morning, but he was trying to convince himself that he would be able to get back before anyone had woken up at all.

The next day, John was glad to be able to sleep in. The week had felt long to him, and since the weather was getting colder and the sun was out less, his energy levels were down. He really needed to go to a tanning salon and get a quick blast of UV rays or something, because he was not feeling good. Luckily though, the extra sleep had helped, and Alex pushed a to-go mug of coffee into his hand as they left the house for work. The gesture was small, but John's heart seemed to swell three times its normal size when John realized Alex had made his coffee the way he liked. John was practically on cloud nine the whole day, and as he arrived home that afternoon, smiling at a selfie Maria had sent John of her and Phillip getting their nails done at a cheap salon, he felt content.

"I'm home!" John called out as he stepped into the house.

"I'm in my office!" Alex replied faintly.

John jogged up the stairs, making his way into Alex's office. The older man smiled and spun around in his chair, greeting John with a smile. John was always so blown away by the way Alex looked when he was working. Tie done away with, shirt unbuttoned a bit to John could see the start of Alex's chest, hair down and messy with reading glasses on. One day, John wasn't going to be able to control the lustful thoughts he got when he looked at Alex. The man was stunning like this. John couldn't tell if it was his daddy issues, or some deep-rooted need to be cared for, but the age gap did make it hotter.

"How was your day, hon?" John asked softly, walking over and leaning against Alex's desk.

"It was as good as a day can be when one works in politics." Alex caressed John's hand, kissing the knuckles. "What about you?"

"My day went by really quick, and I really liked my coffee," John smiled, kissing the top of Alex's head. "I'm excited about our date."

Alex shut his laptop and stood up, pulling John into a kiss. "Mm, God, I want this to happen every day."

John laughed, grabbing Alex's hips and pushing him against the desk. He leaned in and kissed Alex, not minding the way the rough facial rubbed his upper lip. John liked to consider himself manly, and he knew he was grown, but he couldn't grow hair for the life of him. A small shadow of upper lip hair, a few wisps on his chin, and a chest as hairless as a newborn baby's bum.

"You're nice," Alex mumbled, his hands going around to John's ass.

"If we continue this, we're never going to get out of the house," John whispered against Alex's lips, pushing his hips against Alex's a bit just to relieve some of the pressure that had been building.

"I'm okay with that," Alex chuckled, squeezing John ass a bit.

"Uh huh, but I do want to go to the Museum of Modern Art so how about we finish this when we get home tonight, yeah?" John smiled, pulling away. "I'm gonna go get changed, and then we can go."

Alex pouted. "Okay. I gotta change too though, so thanks for reminding me."

John pecked his lips one more time and then went upstairs to change. He slipped on a pair of blue skinny jeans, and a grey tee shirt. He pulled his hair up into a a bun, leaving some parts down, then applied some cologne before heading back down the stairs. Alex wasn't back yet, so John lounged on the couch, sending a check-in text to Maria. Out of all the friends John had, Maria was definitely one of the closets. She and Herc were John's two most trusted companions.

"Alright, I'm ready," Alex smiled, coming downstairs in a pair of black jeans and a flannel over a white tee shirt.

John stood up and smiled. "You look sexy."

Alex smiled a bit and took John's hand, letting the younger man lead him to the door so they could get their jackets on. "The Uber should be here in like, three minutes, so let's just wait on the stoop."

"Stoop," John repeated in a strong Jersey accent. "Me and little Tony and big Petey were gonna wait on the stoop and smoke some cigars while we waited for the stash."

"I sound nothing like that," Alex defended. "You know what? You try living in New York for almost twenty years and not pick up an accent, eh? Let's see how well that works out for you, damned southerner."

John nudged Alex's shoulder a bit, laughing. "Whatever, at least I can make proper ice tea, unlike you northerners."

"We can make ice tea just fine," Alex scoffed as the Uber pulled out.

"Actually, here's where you're wrong," John started as they got into the car. "Y'all make tea and then make it cold, but it's all bitter and shit. That's not real iced tea. No, here's how you do it. Ten cups of tea, one and a half cups of sugar, heat it up so the sugar dissolves evenly, then make it cold."

"You can just use sugar packets," Alex pointed out.

"But then it just all sinks to the bottom!" John exclaimed. "Okay, I need to show you how to make proper ice tea, because you can't live your life thinking a teaspoon of sugar at the bottom of a cup filled with cold hell is iced tea."

Alex laughed, taking John's hand. "Okay, okay, you can teach me how to make iced tea, and I'll teach you how to properly make a bed because you are horrid."

"I am not! You just have high standards," John defended.

"Sure I do, sweetie," Alex nodded.

John stuck his tongue out at Alex. "I'll show you how to make a bed."

"Oh really?" Alex smiled, wiggling his eyebrows.

John rolled his eyes. "You're lucky I don't smack you."

"Oh do go on," Alex leaned towards John with a look that made John think for a second that Alex could see under his clothes.

John pecked Alex's lips. "Whatever, you freak."

Alex flung his hand over his chest dramatically. "My feelings."

They got to the museum and John stepped out of the Uber, taking Alex's hand and walking inside. It was clean, and the lighting was beautiful. There was a coat check, so John and Alex checked their jackets and began to browse John was well within his habitat, and Alex had never felt dumber. He had no idea how any of these pieces came to be, or anything about their history, and then here John was, going on and on about all of them.

"I love Clinton Adams," John stated as they moved on to some photography of what looked like another art museum. "I think he really captures a minimalist yet, like, artistic side of life that is hard to find in some photographers."

Alex nodded. "Yes, I agree."

John laughed a little bit. "Do you have any idea what I've been talking about for the past twenty minutes?"

"I"m gonna be honest, no," Alex replied, looking to John.

John kissed Alex's temple, smiling. "That's okay. I have no idea what you're talking about when you talk about the economy, but you studied political sciences while I studied dance, so we have valid excuses."

"No, I actually, I really have never been to an art museum outside of a school field trip or something, and usually for those I was, I was not all the way there, so this is nice," Alex went on, leaning against John a bit as they looked at some more art.

John jerked his head around when he spotted a group of people standing in a certain area. "Hey, looks like they're displaying a new piece, let's look."

"Whatever you want,," Alex smiled, letting John lead him to the new piece of work. It was by an artist named Enrico Varrasso, and his work was mostly prints and paintings. John was very interested, seeing some work of David Bowie, as well as a black woman. The colors were muted, but they blended nicely, and his style was intricate and different. John found himself writing down his name on his phone to check her out later.

A voice rang through the air and John whipped his head up. He knew that voice. He knew that voice better than anything else. He could pick that voice out of a crowd of a thousand people. John began to pull Alex through a few people to find the source of that voice. Alex was a bit confused, but John looked like he was on a mission, so he followed without question.

Space buns and wide hips, a small chest, and yellow skinny jeans paired with a black shirt. Notepad in hand and ink-stained fingers, a bit of acrylic paint smudged on her cheek. John couldn't forget this face for a single second, he couldn't forget the smell of orange peel perfume, or the deep, smooth voice, long legs, and skin littered with vitiligo.

"Martha," John breathed, his fingers grazing the woman’s arm.

Martha turned around, and for a second, she was frozen, staring at the man in front of her. Her plump lips that she had painted a deep red had parted from shock, and all words disappeared from her mind. For a second, everything was quiet between the two of them, and next thing John knew, he was having the wind knocked out of him by a backbreaking hug. John hugged the girl back though, burying his face in her shoulder and holding back tears. Her body was still familiar despite the five-year absence.

"Holy shit, John," Martha laughed, gently letting him go. "What the hell?"

"I could say the same thing for you," John reminded her, grinning.

"I haven't seen you since, uh, you know, the kid was born, you know, uh-"

"Phillip," John inserted, helping her remember his name.

"Yes, I haven't seen you since Phillip was born," Martha laughed. "How is he? Is he, like, breathing and walking or whatever?"

"Yes, he is," John nodded. "And I've been taking care of his hair like you asked. And he has started to develop vitiligo, but he doesn't think much of it. It's just on his knees so far."

"Oh, yeah, mine started developing when I was around three, and look at me now." Martha laughed and John peered over the white patches of skin that littered her body. He noticed tattoos of constellations, even on the patch on her cheek.

"Are these new?" John asked, touching his cheek where the tattoo would be.

"Got ‘em last year when I got my job as a writer for this cool art magazine," Martha explained proudly. She gestured behind John. "I think you've forgotten about someone."

"Oh, shit, yeah," John laughed, placing his arm around Alex and pulling him forward. "Martha, this is Alex, my boyfriend. Alex, this is Martha."

"I was his roommate in college and I helped create the only thing he's ever cared about more than his hair," Martha laughed. "I assume you know Phillip."

"I do," Alex nodded, plain faced, not returning the joyous aura Martha gave off.

Martha sensed this and backed off, looking at John. "So, where are you working?"

"I work on a bar over on fifth and thirteenth in the morning, and then I teach dance in the afternoons," John explained. "Martha, I can't get over how good you look. I mean, do you live at the gym?"

"Psh, having a kid can't wreck me," Martha laughed. "No, I don't live at the gym. I'm just constantly on my feet since I'm on the lookout for art all over New York, and it's either some gentrifying hipster writing on a banana and getting a million people to come to see, or one of my main bitches dropping some real art in a back alley."

"You still into illegal street art?" John asked.

Martha nodded. "Yeah, you remember my friend Tre? He and I have been teaming up on a few things. Recently, we hit a coffee shop in Brooklyn that replaced the only laundromat in the entire neighborhood, did some good work."

"Well at least you're not hanging around all those fumes pregnant," John laughed, holding Alex a bit tighter against his side. "Hey, do we gotta go another five years without seeing each other?"

"Nah," Martha laughed. "Here, gimme your numbers. I'll hit you up."

"Yeah, alright," John smiled. He took her phone and added his new number as a contact, then sent a text so he could save her as a contact. "Okay, well I am on a date, so that's what I should probably be doing, but let's get coffee or a beer sometime."

"Definitely," Martha nodded. "I can't be missing my baby daddy. Nice to see you finally got okay at commitment, lord knows you couldn't handle it in college."

"Eh, look who's talking," John retorted. "Bye, Martha."

"Bye, gorgeous," Martha laughed as John went on to the next piece, smiling.

John was happier than ever; he had his wonderful boyfriend in his arms, and he had reconnected with one of his closest friends. "What a small world, huh?"

"Yeah," Alex mumbled.

"Are you okay?" John questioned, moving onto another painting.

"I just don't see why you're all buddy buddy with her," Alex replied, shrugging.

John creased his eyebrows. "Because she's my friend."

"She's your friend but she left you to raise a kid on your own and offered no support at all. I'm sorry, I just don't get how you can be okay with that," Alex pointed out.

John fought the urge to roll his eyes. "I knew what I was getting into when I said yes to raising Phillip. Martha had no money, and no time since she was doing a double major. She had no interest in being a mother, and she didn't want anything to do with Phillip. I did. I knew that I would probably have to drop out, and I knew shit was going to change, but that's the kind of sacrifices you make for your child."

"Well he was her child too, why didn't she do anything?" Alex protested.

John sighed. "Because she didn't want to be a mother. Look, I'm not mad at her making a choice about her life. She didn't force Phillip onto me, and she told me from the beginning that she wasn't going to be a part of his life. Alex, it's not a big deal. Not everything is personal."

"Really? Even when it comes to the mother of your child?" Alex laughed exasperatedly.

"I don't see why you're getting so upset about it when it literally has nothing to do with you," John sighed. "The only people who are really involved in this whole arrangement are me, Martha, and Phillip. If she doesn't want to be involved with Phillip's life, then that's her choice, if she wants to meet him, then that's also her choice."

"You would let her meet him?" Alex gasped.

John nodded. "She's a nice person, and she's his mother. I probably wouldn't tell Phillip she's his mother for a while, but if she wanted to meet him, then I wouldn't stop her. He is also her kid too, and she does have a right."

"You would let someone with a face tattoo interact with your kid?" Alex asked.

John actually laughed at this one. "Uh, yeah? Most of the people who helped me when he was a newborn had face tattooes. My friends were all art majors, of course they had tattoos. Alex, I have tattoos. It's okay."

"Well I just don't see why you would let her show up after all these years," Alex mumbled.

"Well first off, I don't need you to see why," John reminded him. "Second of all, it does not matter what you think of this situation with Martha and whether or not you think she should get to meet Phillip because you are not Phillip's parent. I am. I make decisions about my child until he is old enough to make them himself, and if Martha wants to meet Phillip, she can."

Alex paused, then sighed. "Whatever."

"I don't see why you're so upset about this," John groaned. "It's not a big deal."

"Well, I care about Phillip and his well being," Alex said.

"Alright, well I like to think I do too, seeing as I've been raising him alone for the past five years, and if I feel comfortable letting someone meet my child, then that's that. I don't need your approval for what goes on in my son's life, because you are not his parent, Alex. I know we have some sweet domestic stuff going on right now, but you do not get to make major decisions for my child, I do."

“Okay, well, I'm just gonna go home," Alex said, sucking his teeth.

"Alright," John nodded, letting Alex walk away. John sighed, groaning. What a way to end a date. John knew they were going to have to talk more about this later, and he knew he was going to hate it, because he hated confrontation, but he figured he might as well use this free time to his benefit. So, he made his way back through the crowd and found Martha, who was looking a little bored.

"Hey, you done with this?" John asked. "I could use a beer."

"What happened to your date?" Martha mused, looking John up and down.

"We had a disagreement," John answered.

"Alright, you know where Starry Night is?" Martha asked, "upstairs?"

John shrugged. "I'll figure it out."

"Alright, meet me there in fifteen minutes, then we can go get a beer or something," Martha smiled. "I'm glad you got freed up."

John smiled and nodded, despite the argument he gotten into with Alex. John made his way upstairs, locating Starry Night, then walking around and checking out other pieces of artwork. John found himself actually enjoying roaming the art museum alone. If Alex wanted to be in a mood, then Alex could be in a mood. John didn't want to et that ruin his night, so he browsed the art until fifteen minutes finished and he met Martha by Starry Night. The two found themselves pulling the other into another hug. It had been so long since they had seen each other, and sometimes, they forgot how much they actually loved each other. John opened his heart up to very few people in this world, but Martha was one of them.

See, John believed in soulmates, but he didn't believe in just one type of romantic soulmate. John believed that you could have multiple soulmates, and it didn't always mean you two were going to get married, it just meant you loved each other and stayed in each other's lives. Martha, Martha was one of his soulmates. She was easy to be around, she was kind, and most importantly, she made John feel at ease. They both knew how much the other loved them, so they didn't say it too often, just on important occasions.

"God, I missed you," John sighed.

"I missed you too," Martha nodded. "I tried to get in touch with you a few years back but you didn't really answer."

John held up his phone. "New number, no social media, nothing. No, I didn't really have money to be paying for an iPhone after Pip was born, so I switched out to a TracFone. Sorry, I would've called back if I could've."

"It's okay, I didn't think much of it, figured you were pissed," Martha laughed.

John shook his head. "Why does everyone think I'm like, mad at you or something? I'm really not. I never have been, and I never will be."

Martha smiled and linked arms with John as they walked to the front desks, collecting their coats. Martha had a long navy blue peacoat that looked elegant compared to John's army green colored jacket, but she didn't seem to mind.

"You have any preference for a bar?" Martha asked as they walked down the cold streets of Manhattan.

"Cheap with good beer," John smiled. "You know me."

"Oh, how could I forget? Three pints of Sam Adams and some oyster crackers," Martha smiled, leaning against John. "A dollar in the jukebox and you're singing Piano Man like you are Billy Joel himself. Come on, Hibernia is real close."

"Yes!" John cheered. "Remember back before you couldn't drink when you and all of our friends would come here and not leave until three am?"

"Yeah!" Martha laughed. "Oh, let's not forget all of us trying to get home, and then piling into an Uber that was not meant for eight people and crashing in Conner's dorm since he was usually the only one out of all of us who was sober enough to work his key."

"Oh, God, I don't think I've seen Conner in a few years, how's he doing?" John asked, rubbing the bit of stubble on his chin.

"He's bumming around in Asia," Maria answered. "He got a gig with a documentary, so he's just walking around with a camera on his shoulder. The doc is gonna air on BBC in like, a couple months, so that's gonna be really cool. We should have a viewing party."

"Fuck yeah," John laughed. "So you're working for a magazine now?"

Martha nodded. "Yeah, it's really cool. A great gig. It doesn't pay rent if I don't have a roommate, but like, I always have roommates. How about you? You still floating through apartments? I always knew how you were doing through a Maria, but I haven't talked to her in a bit. Last time I talked to her, she said you were pretty close to getting evicted."

"Yeah, well, I did get evicted, but I found a roommate who's letting me live there for free that night, so that's good," John explained.

"For free? Who do I have to fuck to get that kind of treatment?" Martha laughed.

John laughed. "No, it was actually my date, the guy I was with. It was totally a cliche fan fiction story, but it was nice."

"Why'd you guys get into a disagreement?" Martha asked as they turned into the bar.

"He had more bad blood with you than I expected, and I told him to back off a bit, and he just, I dunno. He was being a douche." John slipped off his jacket over the back of the barstool.

"Why's he got bad blood with me?" Martha asked, creasing her eyebrows.

"Because of everything that happened with Phillip. I mean, like, I told him I knew you had your own shit, and I told him I knew what I was getting into, because like, I practically raised most of my siblings, he's just, he's an asshole sometimes, prone to argue. Don't take it personally," John assured Martha.

A bartender came over and took their order. John asked for a pint of Sam Adams, as always, earning a few teasing remarks from Martha about the lack of evolution in the male species before she turned and ordered a Pabst Blue Ribbon.

"Can I see a picture of the kid?" Martha asked.

John nodded, pulling out his phone and pulling up a picture he took of Phillip a few days ago. The kid was smiling, flexing his arms. John thought the photo was really cute, but of course, he thought everything Phillip did was cute.

"Aw, cute kid," Martha commented. "He looks like you."

"Well, he's not fully grown yet, but I'm seeing some similarities between my baby photos and his." John smiled. "He's really a great kid. He's smart, loves to read, super happy, healthy, and definitely has a song in his heart. Uh, no, I think I've done pretty okay so far when it comes to raising him, and I have a lot of friends who are older and know more about what they're doing, so that's helpful."

"How has dating and like, sex been?" Martha asked, leaning forward a bit.

John and Martha had always had a very open dialogue when it came to sex. Throughout the pregnancy, she didn't mind if he would go out some nights and find a girl or guy to hook up with since, as she got bigger, sex became harder. The two of them hooked up until about the six-month mark when Martha got to be too big to really have comfortable sex, so John would just eat her out and then find some hookup with at a party. They were both college students, and they were both always horny, so if John came back to the door to find Martha knuckles deep with a vibrator between her legs, he usually just asked if she wanted pizza or Mexican.

"Uh, I usually would have like, flings, and then I had a boyfriend a while back for like, two years, but he was a dick, so I ended things." John paused, thinking. "Sex had been, well, it wasn't my top priority, so it didn't really matter, but my boyfriend is nice. Morning handjobs have become one of my favorite things."

"Are you sure he's not a dick?" Martha questioned, sipping her beer.

John nodded his head. "He's nice, he was just probably jealous or something. We've never argued before, and he's pretty mature, so it'll be okay, he just needs to cool off."

"Oh, yeah two things about him," Martha started, swallowing another sip of beer. "First of all, he's like, grown. Like, you are a toddler, and he is eighty-five. Where are you finding grown ass men, John?"

"He is thirty-four," John laughed. "And I am recently twenty-six, so it's okay. I met him when I worked at this fast food restaurant and I threatened to kick him out for loitering."

"Classic love story," Martha nodded. "Second of all, what happened to his face? Like, what's with the scars?"

"Rude!" John laughed. "No, he's a veteran, and I guess he was caught in an explosion or something. He has a prosthetic leg too."

"Fancy," Matha nodded. "He's part robot. I've never seen you into older dudes."

John shrugged. "Well, I never really had the options of an older dude in college, since I was busy with schooling and raising a kid and getting wasted, not in that order. No, uh, Alex is like, really grown though. He owns his house, and like, he has more than one car, and holy shit, he's like, a man. Like, this dude is clean, and he's got his life together, and he's got a stable job, and he's like, grown." John leaned forward, his beer sloshing over onto his hand a little bit. "He pays bills and shit, and does his taxes on his own."

"Damn!" Martha laughed. "Daddy material."

John took a swig of his drink and nodded. "I know right? What about you? Any dating?"

Martha scoffed and waved her hand. "Absolutely nothing. I fuck my roommates sometimes, but that's about it. My life really hasn't been that interesting. Finished college, got a job, stayed relatively single for most of that time. I mean, I'm only twenty-five though, so I'm not worried shit is gonna be boring. I have a work trip coming up."

"Ooh, where?" John asked.

"London," Martha replied. "They're opening up a new art museum and I get to go and report on it, so it's gonna be exciting."

"Damn, girl, that's awesome," John laughed.

"What about you? How's working life?" Martha urged, downing the rest of her beer and holding up a finger to the bartender will get her another.

"It's okay. I work from three to seven, then about nine to three or four, then I'm done, so I get off early at least. Oh, and Pip's daycare takes him until four so I can just pick him up straight from work. It's really ideal." John smiled. "Man, New York is kicking my ass, but I'm fighting back. You know me."

"Yeah, I do, and I know you well enough to know that you're way skinnier than you were in college, what the hell is that about?" Martha asked, flicking John's arm.

"I'm usually too busy to catch breakfast or lunch, so dinner ends up being my only meal, and then there was a long time where I didn't have enough money to feed both me and Phillip, so I just fed Phillip." John shrugged. "I'm just busy."

"Yeah, well stop," Martha groaned. "You're too skinny, gain some weight."

"Whatever," John laughed, rolling his eyes. He downed the rest of his beer, then called for the bartender. "I think we're gonna need a couple more drinks over here."

"Shots!" Martha cheered.

"Yeah, sure," John nodded in agreement.

While the two of them drank at the bar, Alex paced his living room, thinking of who to call so he could rant angrily about what happened. He just didn't understand it! This woman left John to starve, to be a parent alone at a young age, and to scrounge for a living, and yet he still welcomes her back with open arms. If someone had done that to him, he would be livid. He'd want to yell, shun them, something other than hugging them and telling them he missed them.

Finally, after long consideration, Alex pressed on Lafayette's contact, pressing his phone to his ear as it rang. He waited for a while, listening to every ring until finally, the click rang through the line that signaled they were connected.

"Lafayette, hey," Alex started.

Lafayette yawned from the other line. "Hey, what's up?"

"Did I wake you up?" Alex asked.

"No, no mon ami, you did not, I'm drowsy because I've been lying in bed, what's going on?"

"I got into a fight with John," Alex said. "And I didn't know who to call because I knew I needed to call someone to rant for a little bit and I briefly considered Angie but I knew that probably wouldn't end well if I was talking to Angie and mad at John."

"Phone sex counts as cheating," Lafayette reminded Alex sleepily.

"Wait, Alex cheated on John?" Herc asked. "Put him on speaker."

"Mmf, Alex, you are now on speaker," Lafayette mumbled.

"You cheated on John?" Herc instantly asked.

"No, no, I didn't, I just have a bad track record with staying loyal when I'm around this one woman, and Lafayette was kindly reminding me that phone sex does count as cheating. I did get in a fight with John though." Alex sighed.

"Ooh, about what?" Herc asked like a gossiping teenager.

"Uh, well, we sort of ran into Phillip's mom on our date and John was really happy to see her, and I sort of didn't understand why he would be, because she just kinda left him with nothing to take care of Phillip while she ran off and did art school or whatever. Then I said something about it and then shit just kinda escalated, and I left," Alex explained.

"Oh, Martha?" Herc recalled. "I've met her a couple times, she's nice. She and John were really close, and he's really missed her."

"Yeah, but then he said he'd let her meet Phillip if she wanted, and I told him that I thought that wasn't a good idea, and then he said it didn't matter because I'm not Phillip's parent. I mean, is he really gonna let a deadbeat parent who hasn't been in the picture or helping for five years just, come back like that?" Alex huffed. "I can't be the only one who thinks that's bullshit. Like, I have a right to be upset, I care about the kid too."

There was a long pause on the other line, then Lafayette spoke. "Well..."

"Well, what?" Alex pushed.

"John was right," Herc admitted. "Look, when single parents make contact with the other parent, it's just, it can get messy. If my ex-wife wanted to come back into William's life, it would be difficult for me to work out custody, if I even wanted to let her get partial custody. And, Lafayette couldn't and wouldn't make that decision for me, because William’s not his kid. William is my son, legally, and so I make the choices for him until he can. John and Martha are different from me and my ex, because those two do really love each other. Martha is a good person, and John knows it."

"Yeah, but she still just left them," Alex pointed out.

Herc paused. "Alex, you’ve got to understand that even if Martha was in the picture, John’s life wouldn't have been much better. It would've been awkward to explain to Phillip that his mom and dad are just friends, it would've been two college dropouts trying to pay off mass amounts of student debts, probably fighting more than they need to, and it just, it wouldn't have made a huge difference. Martha told John that she wanted nothing to do with Phillip the moment she found out she was pregnant. She was honest, and it was her choice. Another choice that was made was John's choice to take Phillip in. He knew what babies were like, how expensive they were, and he took Phillip in. She didn't force Phillip onto John, she just told him that the either the pregnancy would be terminated, or the kid was going up for adoption if he didn't take him. I know, that whole situation is weird, but it works for them. I mean, there's no bad blood between them, so don't create any."

Alex paused, then groaned. "You're right, aren't you?"

"I am," Herc agreed. "And so was John. Alex, I know you care about Phillip, and it's really good that you do, but you need to remember that Pip and John will always have boundaries. John is Phillip's legal parent, and he makes the choices for Phillip. That's that."

"Alright, yeah," Alex nodded. "That makes a lot of sense. I gotta apologize. He's still out right now."

"Yeah, he's probably having a drink with Martha or something, catching up. John tends to stay out late sometimes. I remember when he and I roomed together, we would take turns watching the kids for the night sometimes, and John would usually stumble through the door at three in the morning, shit faced, and pass out on the couch." Herc paused and chuckled. "That guy really does try to relive what he missed out on in college. He's a partier at heart."

Alex smiled. "Alright, thanks. If he's getting a drink, he's probably gonna come home hungry, so I'm gonna get some food ready. Thanks."

"No problem, Alex. I'll see you on Sunday for that meeting," Lafayette replied.

Alex groaned. "Ugh, God, don't remind me. Fucking Monroe, who the fuck he think he is scheduling meetings on weekends? Screw him!"

"Alright, prince of cats, goodnight," Lafayette chuckled. "Let me go back to cuddling with my love. I missed his body today."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright, night."

"Night," Lafayette giggled before hanging up.

Alex sighed and went downstairs, looking through the fridge before deciding to heat up a frozen pizza for dinner, and so John can have some later. He turned on the radio and while the oven preheated, opened his laptop and working out next year's budget, which was fast approaching its deadline.

Meanwhile, John and Martha were walking back to John's place where Martha was gonna get an Uber and go home. Both were a little drunk-- just enough to make their steps falter and make everything they say about ten times funnier. They walked down the street, their arms around each other, smiling at some story about one of their mutual friends doing something idiotic.

"No, okay, and then he had the audacity the next morning to complain about his back hurting!" Martha cackled. "Like, this motherfucking breaks a pool table in a frat party by running and belly flopping on it, and then he wants me to pity him the next morning, and at this point, I'm hungover, about to throw up, and do you remember what I said to you?"

"Yes, I do, because it was seven in the morning, we had class in an hour, and you looked at me and asked if I wanted to get a drink," John laughed.

Martha smiled and sighed. "Man, those were the days."

"Sucks I got you knocked up and we had to like, avoid each other for a little bit," John pointed out. "But you know, the outcome was pretty great."

"Hey, you have my number," Martha said as they arrived at John's house. "Coffee, drinks, sleepovers, whatever, just text me."

John paused, biting his lip. "Would you ever want to meet Phillip?"

The words had a sobering effect on the two of them.

Martha sighed, looking down. "I can't, I just, I'm not ready. I know, I know I should and like, I should help and I should do something, but I can't meet him yet. If you need money or something, I can do that, but I just, I can't meet him yet."

"Hey, I get it," John said, gently putting his arm on Martha's shoulder. "Look, if you're ever ready, just ask, but if you don't want to just start out by saying 'hi, I'm your mom' then I can just introduce you as my friend. If you never want to meet him, then that's okay. I don't need money, I just want you to know that if you ever want to meet him, you can. I'm not going to stop you from it. You're always welcome."

"Thanks, John," Martha smiled. "Look, I should probably let you go, and that's my Uber about to pull up, but let's not go another five years before we see each other again. I'll text you, you text me, let's keep in touch."

"Alright," John nodded. He pulled Martha into a strong hug, savoring the scent of oranges and beer. "I love you, Martha."

"I love you too, John," Martha replied. "Be safe, and eat something. Go find your man and talk about whatever happened. I'll see you soon."

"Alright," John mumbled as he released her. "Have a good night, girl."

"You too, Johnny," Martha replied.

John smiled and climbed the stairs to enter his house, his stomach grumbling. The three pints of beer didn't do much to help quench his hunger, so he was looking forward to throwing together whatever he could find. He quickly stepped into the house, slipping off his coat and sighing, stretching a bit to help with his slightly distended stomach from the beer. He let out a belch, then made his way downstairs to get some food.

John almost jumped at Alex's figure, sitting hunched over the counter with about a million pieces of paper spread out around him, plus his laptop and some coffee. Instead of making a huge deal out of it, John just walked down and into the kitchen, opening up the cabinet to get some pizza. "Hey."

"Oh, hey," Alex replied, not having even noticed that someone had entered the kitchen until John said something.

"You ready to talk about that or do you still need time to calm down?" John asked plainly, taking a bite of the pizza.

Alex nodded. "I'm sorry. You were right. I just, I don't have a say in what you choose to happen in your child's life, and I shouldn't have butt in."

"I don't want you to think that you don't have a say," John started. "I care about you, and your opinion is important to me. I want to hear it, just not the way you expressed it tonight. If you have concerns or you're worried or unsure about something, then please tell me, but not everything is a fight, Alexander. We're both adults, and we can have conversations like adults."

Alex nodded humbly. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"Thank you for your apology," John replied. "Come here."

Alex smiled lightly as he got up, walking around the counter to John. John pulled Alex into his chest, smiling and leaning down, kissing the man. It was a sweet kiss, only meant to apologize and assure that the apology is accepted. Both of them were bummed that the second real date they ever really went on was cut short, but the taste of pizza and beer on John's lips and the smell of brewing coffee made up for it.

"You can't seriously be drinking coffee this late at night," John laughed.

"I like the taste," Alex defended. "And I was waiting up for you."

"How sweet," John replied. "How about you stop doing work and we go upstairs and watch a movie," John suggested.

"You've convinced me," Alex sighed, walking over to the counter and closing his laptop, then shuffling the papers back into a file. "I'm gonna make my Ambien water now though so I don't have to come all the way down here before bed."

"Why don't you just swallow pills?" John asked curiously.

"You know? I don't know," Alex replied honestly, crushing up a couple of Ambien on a cutting board. "I've never been able to swallow pills. I don't know why. When I lost my leg, the only way I could take opioids was if the army doctors crushed them up and mixed them with pudding. My friend Aaron, he was one of the doctors, so he would always tease me for being an overdramatic patient." Alex laughed as he mixed the powder with the water. "He didn't mean it though. He just wanted to get me out of bed and watch me hobble around on a crutch and try to tackle him or something."

"How did you lose your leg?" John asked.

Alex shrugged. "I'll tell you some other day. I'm having a nice time."

John nodded and grabbed another piece of pizza before the two of them went upstairs to the living room. John, who no longer gave a damn about decency around Alex, stripped out of his jeans and fell on the couch, granting his balls a quick scratch and shoving some more pizza into his mouth.

"Well isn't that just the picture of a true man," Alex teased, following suit with John's no-pants policy and then lying down between John's legs.

"We've been dating long enough to where I can scratch in front of you," John laughed.

Alex paused for a second, then slowly a smile spread over his face.

"What are you smiling ab-"

John was cut off by possibly one of the loudest farts he had ever heard, which left Alex in giggling shambles. Since John had gotten very used to laughing at farts with Phillip, he found himself cackling as well, tears coming to his eyes.

"Fuck, Alex, that smells," John teased, waving his hand in front of his nose.

"If you can scratch then I can fart," Alex stated.

John nodded, laughing. "Yes, that's how it works I believe. We can do normal human things in front of each other now."

"Oh, you know this means I'm just gonna get grosser," Alex pointed out. "I'll come into the bathroom and take a piss while you're in the shower."

"That's not gross, that's domestic," John chuckled, running his fingers through Alex's hair. "Okay, let's be for real with each other for a second. Do we have any gross habits?"

"Uh, I have my chest waxed because it gets too hairy if I don't," Alex admitted.

"Really? Now I wanna see your chest." John sat up a bit, looking curious.

Alex sighed and pushing himself up to his knees, pulling up his shirt a bit so John could see the triangle of hair that trails down onto his stomach and then farther into the hem of his sweatpants, and then the clean and waxed area around it. "You better not use this against me. Only you and like, Lafayette know."

"I won't, I won't," John chuckled. "What's a gross thing I do?" He thought for a second. "Uh, I do pee in the shower."

"Oh, I do that too," Alex nodded.

"I will definitely turn boxers inside out and wear them another day," John laughed.

"Oh, my dirty laundry only gets washed if it doesn't pass the sniff test," Alex laughed, sitting criss-cross between John's legs.

"Sometimes I just put my hand down my pants just so my dick can have company," John laughed, feeling his cheeks heat up.

"Hold on, wait, what do you mean? Like a masturbation thing?" Alex asked.

John shook his head. "No, like, I just kinda have my hand on my dick but nothing's going on. I do it without even realizing it sometimes."

"Oh, I do that," Alex nodded.

"I can't think of anything else, but I'm sure you'll witness me do it sooner or later," John chuckled. "What about you?"

"I am definitely really bad about cleaning up jizz after I jerk off," Alex stated. "That's the last thing I can think of too, though."

"Wait, hold on, do you just like, lie in it? What do you do?" John propped himself up on his elbows, looking at Alex.

Alex shrugged. "I just let it dry and then I wash my sheets."

"Okay, hold on, I haven't been rolling in any jizz, have I?" John asked, giving an unsure look to Alex.

"No, my jizz usually ends up on you now, so I don't really have that issue anymore," Alex stated, smiling cheekily at John.

John groaned, sitting up all the way and kissing Alex. "You are the human version of a headache, and I'm so glad I'm sitting on this couch with you right now because there's nowhere else I'd rather be in this world."

Alex tilted his head a bit, wrapping his arms around John's neck. I absolutely adore you, Jonathan Laurens."

"And I adore you as well," John replied, resting his forehead against Alex's. For a while, they just stayed like that, relishing in the feel of the other. The way their legs pressed against each other, the way Alex's fingers played with the baby hairs on the back of John's neck. It was sweet, warm, and comforting, and John hated when he felt his eyes droop and his body become tired. "Fuck, what time is it?"

"Like, midnight forty," Alex responded.

"Shit, why is it that whenever we go on a date, we end up staying up way too late for people our age?" John laughed.

"Because we're teenagers at heart," Alex replied.

John smiled, pulling Alex into a kiss. "Come on, let's go upstairs and go to sleep."

Alex nodded. "Alright, but you're going to have to help me up."

A laugh came from the younger man as he got off the couch and helped Alex up. "Can't stand up yourself, old man?"

"Yeah, but I'm lazy," Alex replied.

John rolled his eyes placing his arm around Alex as they walked upstairs. "You know what the design of your leg reminds me up?"

Alex glanced down at his prosthetic, then back up at John. "Hm?"

"Steampunk era," John answered. "You look like you would hide diamonds in the leg and smuggle them and then sell them and become rich and run away from everything you've ever known and buy a train."

"That's my favorite theory about the leg," Alex laughed.

"Why did you get a wooden one? If I can ask," John mumbled as they made it into Alex's room. "I mean, like, it looks cool, but a throwback to the eighteen-hundreds isn't usually how people go when they need modern medicine."

Alex laughed, sitting on the edge of the bed and beginning to take the leg off. "I just thought it was cool, you know? Like, if I'm not gonna have a leg, then I might as well have a cool prosthetic. And I didn't start out with a wooden one. I had a metal one, but then my doctor decided it was best if I didn't have access to a weapon like that all the time"

"Oh? Why?" John laughed.

"Well, I have that handicapped thing for my car, and for a while, I did actually need it, and one day I was getting out, and someone accused me of faking and just stealing spots from the disabled, so I took off my leg and threw it at them," Alex explained. I then realized that I kinda needed it, so it was really awkward asking the dude who I had just attacked to hand me my leg."

John let out a snort as Alex curled up next to him. "That's the best thing I've heard today because now, all I can imagine is you hopping around trying to retrieve your leg."

Alex sighed and smiled, nuzzling his face into John's chest. "Mm, you smell nice."

John gently ran his fingers over Alex's hair, closing his eyes. "You're too sweet. Goodnight, Alexander."

"Goodnight, John Laurens," Alex replied.

Alex woke up the next morning around six. John was dead asleep, so he carefully pulled himself from the man's arms and got his leg on, then made his way downstairs. He turned on the coffee machine and went out to grab the newspaper. He scoffed at the headline, something about Trump, then went back inside. He opened up the fridge and pulled out some leftover pizza, then began reading the paper, laying it out over the table. He checked the stocks, cheering a bit when he realized the stocks he had invested in were up. He read over some articles about holiday markets, remembering it was getting close to Christmas, then pulled out his phone, texting Hercules.

Alex: Do you know what I could get John for Christmas? And Phillip?

Hercules: I do. He needs new ballet shoes, size ten. Talk to Maria about what kind you should get. He loves CDs, and he needs a new phone, even he admits it. Phillip loves toys, coloring books, and anything else really.

Alex: Thank you, you are a lifesaver.

Hercules: I'm guessing you got everything sorted out?

Alex: Yeah, I did. Thanks for your help.

Hercules: Anytime.

Alex sighed and got up to pour himself a cup of coffee. He finished the paper and then got back to his work that he hadn't finished last night. The counter quickly became a mess as he splayed out papers, typing furiously and working on the budget. This thing was seriously giving him grey hairs, because he had fifteen different people begging for their section to be prioritized, Peggy breathing down his neck about schools, Washington unmoving as a stone, and no one else to help. His subordinates were incompetent, and he really just needed to finish this in the next fifteen days, or he was fucked.

"Morning," John mumbled, kissing Alex's shoulder. "Whatcha doing?"

"Trying to figure out where money in the city should go," Alex mumbled, taking another sip of his coffee and spilling on information about veterans affairs. "I’ve got fifteen days, and I'm like, not doing too well."

"Give it all to schools," John suggested.

"Ah, that is the second time I've heard that," Alex laughed. "But if I did that, we wouldn't have any money for hospitals, homeless aid, shelters, and other important things. Then I have a bunch of people screaming at me not to raise taxes, but at this point, there simply isn't the money for everything that everyone needs without raising liquor and tobacco taxes, as well as sales tax." Alex groaned. "Then I need to make sure the governor, James Monroe, Thomas Jefferson, and George King agree with the cuts and changes and tax raises. I have the only job where I literally need to please everyone. Five more years, five more years, and then I'm done."

"Hey, relax," John said softly, coming over and rubbing Alex's shoulders. "When you get too stressed, the solution hides itself. You are smart, Alexander, you can do this. Deep breaths and..." John trailed off, trying to work out a knot in Alex's shoulder. "Jesus, have you ever gotten a massage?"

"No time," Alex muttered, rolling his head back a bit at how great John's hands felt.

John sighed and kissed Alex's neck. "I'm gonna go pick up Phillip, leave you alone to figure this out. Don't push yourself too hard, and remember, the solution is there, you just have to look at it from a different angle."

Alex turned his head and pecked John's lips. "Thank you. I'll figure this out. I've already got most of it down, I'm just trying to divide the money between the schools, street workers, and then politicians and government worker paychecks. I gotta figure this out. I'll see you soon."

"Alright, good luck," John smiled gently, kissing Alex's head before walking upstairs to get dressed. He slipped on some jeans, as well as his hoodie and a jacket, then walked out the door. John made his way down the street, sighing at the cold air. He was happy to be in the warm confines of the subway. He hopped on a train and let it take him to lower Manhattan where Maria was. He figured today was a good a day as ever to finally introduce Phillip to the subway, so as he entered Maria's apartment, he prepared himself to explain to Phillip why that smelly man was pooping in a box.

"Hey!" John smiled.

Phillip got up from Maria's breakfast table and ran over, jumping into John's arms. John hugged him back, walking over and sitting down next to a smiling Maria. He set Phillip back down in his seat, then leaned back, taking a sip of Maria's coffee and earning a sigh from her.

"Someone was a naughty boy last night," Maria teased.

"Oh? How so?" John scoffed.

"Going out with your college friend, getting buzzed. What happened to date night?" Maria chuckled. "Trouble in paradise?"

"Date night started out okay, then we ran into Martha and had a disagreement about a few things, so Lexi boy went home and I had a drink with Martha. I went home and Alex and I worked it out," John explained. "No problems anymore."

"Aunt Maria said you are a dumb drunk," Phillip giggled.

"Aunt Maria needs to remember that she tried to change the channel of a fish tank once in a hotel lobby, and then actually found a channel she liked, while still looking at the fish tank," John said, raising his brow at Maria.

She just laughed, leaning back. "Whatever. Hashbrown?"

John took one off of the big plate in the middle stacked high with microwave hashbrowns, biting into it and smiling. "You've always eaten these. Don't you get sick of them?"

Maria shook her head. "Never. I'm part Irish, John. I love potatoes."

John rolled his eyes, smiling. "You are something else, girl. How was y'all's night?"

"It was really cool," Phillip said. "We watched the new animated Spiderman, which had the best colors. I wanna be Spiderman. And then we ate a lot of McDonalds, and brownies, and we played cards, and we colored. It was awesome."

"That sounds great, buddy," John smiled. "Hey, you go get dressed, and then we can head out and get a few things from the store before going home."

"Okay papa," Phillip said, shoving a hashbrown into his mouth.

"Okay gimme the full tea, I saw you on Martha's story last night," Maria gasped, leaning forward. "I wanna know."

"Okay, well we saw her in an art museum, and we sort of caught up and exchanged numbers really quick so we could stay in touch, right? Then like, I sort of said goodbye and that we’d see each other again, and then I was walking with Alex, right? And he starts getting pissy about Martha, acting like it was some big deal that I wasn't mad at her. Then we got into a bit of a fight, so he left, and then I went out and got a beer with Martha, and we got a little drunk and we walked back to my house. We said goodbye and then I went inside and Alex and I talked about it and apologized and stuff like that, so we're good." John sat back, crossing his arms.

"Remember, John, believe patterns and not apologies," Maria warned.

"Alex has had a rough history with relationships," John defended. "And you know I don't take shit from people, so if Alex keeps up being rude, then I'll leave, but he's smart, and he's nice, he just didn’t understand."

"Alright, alright, whatever you say, but the moment I think that relationship is becoming more work than it's worth, you know I'll tell you," Maria pointed out.

John nodded. "I know, and that's why I love you."

Maria smiled and patted John's cheek. "I love you too."

"I'm a ready papa," Phillip smiled, coming back fully dressed with his backpack on.

John smiled and stood up. "Alright, bud, we got a few errands to run. Say thank you to aunt Maria for watching you all night."

"Thank you, Aunt Maria," Phillip smiled, hugging Maria.

"Aw, well you know I love spending time with you, dude," Maria replied. "I'll see you soon, Pip. Probably on the TV when they're interviewing you because you're the new Spiderman."

"Yeah!" Phillip cheered.

John smiled and picked Phillip up. "Thanks, Mars. I'll see you on Monday."

"Sure thing, Johnny boy," Maria replied as John left.

John smiled as he looked at Phillip. "Guess what we're gonna do?"

"What?" Phillip asked.

"We're gonna take the subway," John replied. "Now, you have never taken the subway, but I was thinking last night, and I think you are ready for the obstacle course."

"Obstacle course? Cool!" Phillip smiled.

"Now, remember, you have to be tough, and strong, and ready to do whatever it takes," John coached as they neared the subway. "I'll be with you, but someday you'll be doing this all on your own, so watch closely."

"I'll be like Mulan," Phillip nodded. Then, of course, he began singing, because that's what Phillip did. "Like a rock, I must be hard. Like an oak, I must stand firm. Cut quick, like my blade! Think fast! Unafraid."

"Looks like I've got my own little Broadway star," John smiled as he entered the steps. He walked down them, and then set Phillip down by the turnstiles. "Alright, buddy, you go under these, and then wait for me, alright?"

Phillip nodded and stealthily ducked under the turnstile.

John quickly hopped over it and picked Phillip up again. "Now, feel how hot the air is down here, even though it's cold up there?"

Phillip nodded.

"That's the smell of the evil goblins that live here," John explained. "As long as you keep to yourself, they will leave you alone. Remember, be like Mulan. Unafraid."

Phillip nodded. "I can do that."

John smiled and kissed Phillip's head. "I'm very proud of you, Phillip." The train pulled in and Phillip jumped, covering his ears at the loud screeching. John hugged Phillip a little closer to him, gently stroking his hair. John remembered the song Phillip was singing earlier, then decided to continue it a little bit. "Be at peace because you know, it's okay to be afraid."

Phillip nodded as John walked onto the train, somehow finding a seat for him to sit on. John stood, holding onto a pole and watching Phillip look around at all the people. The kid was obviously curious about everything, and it was really cute to see him in such aw. John found himself pulling out his phone and taking a picture.

"You having fun?" John asked as Phillip as the kid giggled at the momentum from a turn. Only Phillip could turn a grimy subway ride into something fun.

"It's too loud down here. Are these new?" Phillip asked.

John sighed. "Almost."

The subway ride came to an end and John quickly picked up Phillip and carried him off. It was cold out, so John didn't make Phillip walk, just carried him down the street to the store. Phillip groaned when he realized they were going to the store, but perked up at the promise of a candy bar if he behaved.

“So, buddy, Christmas is coming up," John reminded Phillip as they enters the store, carrying a basket and holding Phillip's hand. "Is there anything you want from Santa?"

"Uh, I dunno," Phillip said.

"How about, when we get home, I help you make a list for Santa and then we can go see him, and you can tell him what you want," John suggested, putting a box of cereal in the basket. He only needed a few other things; Bread, coconut oil, and fish food for Alex’s fish.

"Do you think Santa will come this year?" Phillip asked.

John nodded. "He comes every year, Pip."

"I know, but he never gets you anything," Phillip groans. "And you should be on the nice list. Should I tell Santa to get you something when we go see him?"

John smiled and leaned down, kissing the top of Phillip's head. "Well, every other year we've lived in a small house, and Santa couldn’t bring much in, but now we live with Alex in a nice big house, so I'm sure Santa will have no problem fitting presents for you, me and Alex through the chimney. How does that sound?"

Phillip smiled, satisfied. "Good. Because Santa is gonna be on the naughty list if he doesn't get you a present this year."

"Oh? You gonna tell Santa he's on the naughty list?" John laughed, grabbing a loaf of bread. "You gonna go boss around Santa?"

Phillip nodded. "Yup."

"Okay then, you have fun with that," John teased, finding the aisle with coconut oil. "Alex is home, but he's working very very hard right now, so we need to make sure we don't bother him."

"What's he working as?" Phillip asked.

John paused, trying to figure out how to explain this to Phillip. "Well, every state gets a certain amount of money to divide up over all the important things, like schools and hospitals. Alex is the person in charge of dividing up the money, and managing any more money or big spending throughout the year. He was chosen by the people who live in New York for that job, and he's very good at it."

"Could I do something like that?" Phillip asked.

John nodded. "You can do anything you put your mind to, and I'll be here to support you."

"Is Alex my new dad? Is he like Francis?" Phillip asked.

John stopped, swallowing hard. "No, Alex is nothing like Francis. Not even a little bit, I promise. If he was, we wouldn't be living with him."

Phillip paused. "Oh. Is he my new dad?"

"You don't need a new dad, the one you have now works just fine," John laughed.

"Papa, I'm being serious," Phillip groaned, leaning against John dramatically.

"Hi 'Being Serious,' I'm Papa," John continued, smiling.

Phillip just groaned and dropped the topic, much to John's relief. He didn't really know how to handle the whole 'Alex dad' subject. He didn't know what Alex would say if Phillip started calling him dad. He didn't know what he could say to Phillip to explain that his situation is not anywhere near normal. I mean, how would he even start that conversation? 'Hey Pip, your mother and I were fuck buddies in college but she wanted nothing to do with you. Nothing personal. Anyway, I'm your dad who would fuck a woman or a man, and this is Alex, the guy who saved us from being homeless and is now sleeping with me, have a good day at school!' Not exactly something John would want Phillip telling his therapist.

John and Phillip got home and then began working on Phillip's list to Santa, decorating it with markers and stickers. Alex was working himself practically sick but had been taking shots of Dayquil and gulps of cold black coffee. Around noon, he had pulled out about half of his hair, he had a cold sweat running down his back, and he had broken his brain.

"Alright," John sighed, coming downstairs. "You need to take a break. Come on, Phillip and I put on a movie and we're waiting for you."

"I'll be there in a minute," Alex mumbled.

"Alexander," John said with a warning in his voice.

Alex sighed, leaning back. "Okay, okay."

John carefully pulled Alex from his chair, helping the man upstairs. "Phillip made his Christmas list, and it looks like his current obsession is Spiderman. He watched the new one last night, and he was so excited that SpiderMan was black, like him."

Alex smiled, walking into the living room with John where Phillip was sitting on the couch, coloring. "That's wonderful. I'll keep that in mind. Let's hang his list on the fridge too, because like, I am really bad at buying gifts." Alex kissed John's shoulder. "You should make a list too."

John rolled his eyes, sitting down on the couch and hugging Phillip close to him. "I don't need anything." John patted the space next to him. "Come on, sit down, we're watching Princess And The Frog."

Alex smiled and sat down next to Joh, instantly cuddling up and smiling. Man, he was happy with John.

 


	12. Don't touch black people's hair without asking, it's fucking rude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate name: Phillip is the only valid character in this book

"So basically, what you want me to do, is dress up, go hang out with people neither of us really want to hang out with and pretend that I'm a trophy twink for you to show off?" John asked, lying in bed with Alex. It was the Saturday before Christmas and Alex had an office party. He was trying to convince John to go, and since John had bit his tongue for the gala, Alex knew he was going to put up a bit of a fight before agreeing to go to this. Eventually he would cave for Alex, but he also knew that Sally and James and Herc were gonna be there, so it wouldn't be that bad.

"You make it sound terrible," Alex groaned. "It won't be awful. It's not like the gala. People will be drinking more, and no tuxedos! It's gonna be okay, I promise. Also, there'll be cookies, so Phillip will be satisfied."

John groaned. "But the whole trophy part."

"Mm, but I like showing you off because you are my little trophy," Alex teased, reaching his hand around and grabbing John's butt.

John raised his eyebrows and pushed the man on his back. "Oh really? I'm your little trophy?" John leaned down and kissed Alex's neck. "I find it funny that I'm the trophy when you barely pass the height of most trophies."

"You bitch!" Alex gasped. "That's what I'm sensitive about!"

John laughed and pecked Alex's lips, then rolled off of him. "You are a little shortie pie. So tiny. Barely reaching up to my shoulder."

"I may be short but I'm great at budgeting," Alex smiled proudly.

"Did you finally finish?" John asked, smiling.

Alex bit the inside of his cheek. "Almost. I just gotta finish up a few things, revise everything, get approval, take it to vote, and then spend about twelve hours putting it into place, but other than that, I'm done. I'm on track to finish in time, and that's the goal."

"Mm, well I'm proud of you," John chuckled.

"Morning Papa, morning Alex," Phillip said as he climbed onto their bed.

"Oh! Jesus, Pip, I didn't even see you come in," John laughed as the kid lay down between them. "How long have you been up?"

"Five hours," Phillip answered plainly, curling into John.

John raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Look at you, mister go-getter. Been up since four am. _I_ didn't even wake up at four am."

Phillip giggled. "It's because you're lazy."

John gasped with mock offense. "I am not! I think you just set the bar too high." John began tickling Phillip, making the kid squeal with laughter. "And don't forget who cooks you three meals a day. Who's the lazy one now, huh?"

"Papa!" Phillip laughed. "Papa stop!"

John ceased his tickling, kissing Phillip on the head. "Hey, buddy, would you like to go to a Christmas party tonight? Alex is gonna come with us, and Uncle Herc and Uncle James and Aunt Sally are gonna be there, as well as William, Payne, and Beverly."

"There's gonna be cookies and Christmas music, and you don't have to dress up in a tuxedo or anything," Alex mentioned, smiling at Phillip.

"Is it going to be loud?" Phillip asked. 

"No, not too loud," Alex replied.

"Okay. Can we get Taco Bell, too?" Phillip asked.

John nodded, groaning. "Taco Bell sounds so good. I seriously could kill for a burrito right now. Alex, you like Taco Bell or should we stop somewhere else to get you something too?"

"Taco Bell is fine," Alex answered.

"Cool," John agreed. "Pip, how do you want your hair done?"

"I wanna leave it down," Phillip replied.

"Wonderful, that means I just gotta gel your edges," John nodded, gently running his fingers over Phillip's hair. "Alex, is there any dress code for this thing at all?"

Alex shook his head. "Nah, it's casual. I'll just be wearing a sweater and some pants, so anything is fine. This will be a lot closer, the people you know, plus a few others who work near our departments. No state reps or senators will be coming. Washington is like, the first governor who really started attending these things, but he only did it because when I first started government, I was a lonely vet and he didn't want me feeling lost at these things."

"That's sweet," John commented, running his fingers through Phillip's hair, unknowingly coaxing the child, who had really only been awake for ten minutes, back to sleep.

"It's not sweet, it's just what he did because he felt sorry for me," Alex stated quickly, not wanting to admit that it was a protective move the governor made, because Washington really cared for him.

John just rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say."

Alex just sighed and brushed a bit of John's hair out of his face. "You're beautiful."

John smiled, trying not to show Alex how much darker his cheeks had gotten. "Whatever. Hey, Pip, do you want some..." John trailed off, smiling when he realized Phillip was asleep. "Hey, Lex, this one just passed out again. Let's go get some breakfast ready for when he wakes up. Can he stay in here?"

Alex nodded. "Sure. Lemme get my leg on and then I'm ready."

"Alright," John confirmed, carefully getting out of bed and pulling the sheet over Phillip. It had taken him a few nights to get used to only a sheet covering him, but he knew it was probably something that Alex had to cope with, so he didn't push it. He also tried to let the man have some privacy when he woke up breathing heavily, though most nights John really wanted to just hold him. Alex usually wouldn't come back to bed after that, and when John got up for his shift, he would find Alex in the kitchen, working. The first night that happened, John could tell Alex expected him to say something, to ask what happened. John could also tell that Alex really didn't want John to do that, so instead of an interrogation, John made himself some coffee, kissed Alex on the cheek, and reminded him to take his meds.

John and Alex made their way downstairs, and John began preparing stuff for French toast, a recipe his mother had taught him. He separated the whites from the yolks, mixing the yolks in a bowl with a bit of cinnamon, then made one for Alex and made one for himself. The two of them sat at the counter, pouring syrups and powdered sugar over their breakfasts.

John creased his brows when he looked up to see Alex smiling at him through messy brown locks. "What?"

"I see it now," Alex stated.

"See what?" John laughed confusedly.

"I got divorced, and I swore off relationships," Alex started. "I figured they were a waste of time, and annoying. I had a girl a while back, but she seemed only to prove my theory. All my friends- mostly Aaron since he's the married one- said I'd get back on the horse, that I'd find someone I liked, and I called it bullshit. I didn't see any appeal to being with someone. I didn't see it as some wonderful thing, I saw it as a chore because for so long, that's all a relationship had been to me. But now I get it. I see what Aaron meant when he said that being with someone can be actually nice." Alex paused. "I like you, John Laurens. I really like you. I don't see this as just a fling. I just, I want you to know that."

John felt his chest tighten. He did not want to have this conversation right now. He did like Alex. Alex was great. But last time he actually really settled down with someone it just... John didn't like talking about futures, because his relationships had never had a good future.

John coughed. "Thank you. Do you like the food? My mom taught me how to cook French toast when she was pregnant with my brother Jemmy, because it was the only thing she wanted to eat, and she knew I really wanted to help with the pregnancy. I was so young, eleven, so the only thing I could really do was cook her French toast, but it really felt nice to be helping her out."

Alex chuckled. "That's sweet."

John shrugged. "It took me a bit to get the hang of it, but I did. Then, when she was pregnant with Mary, I was thirteen or fourteen, so she would send me out to the store to get her pints of cherry vanilla ice cream and lemon juice because those were all she could eat without vomiting. That pregnancy, that was a rough one for her."

"Was that the one that…?" Alex trailed off.

John nodded, sighing and looking up. "Yeah, yeah it was. Uh, yeah." John cleared his throat, standing up with his empty plate. "I'm done. Do you want another or are you good?"

"I'm okay," Alex said, finishing off his last bit.

"Okay, I'll save the batter for Pip. I need to shower really quick. How should we kill a day? Do you need to get some work done?" John asked.

Alex nodded. "Yeah, I’ve gotta revise, make sure I didn't fuck up the math or anything. Believe it or not, I'm not a numbers guy. I like writing more."

John smiled. "Okay, well, Phillip and I will let you have the house for a little bit. We'll go to the park, and find some stuff around town to do. He's been bugging me to go to the children's museum a few blocks down, and we both need new winter coats." John bent down and kissed Alex's cheek. "If he wakes up while I'm in the shower, just tell him I'll be down in a sec."

"Sure thing," Alex replied.

John jogged upstairs, walking into the bathroom. He turned on the shower to allow the water to heat up, and began to strip.

Alex stayed downstairs, pulling out his laptop and a calculator to begin checking the math. He flinched at a pang of knee pain, letting out a gasp when it happened again. He braced himself on the counter as he made his way to the medicine cabinet, pulling out his meds. He knew if he didn't take his pain meds soon, the pang would get worse fast, so he filled up a cup of water, put the two pills in his mouth, and bit down. The taste was bitter and metallic almost, making Alex recoil and nearly spit them out. Instead, he chewed a bit more and washed them down with a glass of water, gulping his coffee to try and get the taste out of his mouth. He hated the taste of opioids, but he knew a lot of soldiers had it worse. A lot of them didn't even get the opportunity to take pills for their pain. Alex was still alive, and he almost hated himself for that. He did hate himself for the fact that there was a headstone in the Green-Wood cemetery that was begging to be visited. It had been almost ten years since that headstone was put there, and Alex had never been. He spent the funeral in Afghanistan, and he drank until he forgot he missed it.

The amputation wasn't the reason Alex was forced out of the army. Alex saw men every day pass through with prosthetic legs and most of them kicked his ass without even losing their breath. No, Alex was forced out because he couldn't fire a gun without having a psychotic episode. Alex was forced out because every time he heard a bomb go off or a gun being fired, he lost it. He couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep, and it didn't take long for him to be handed a pink slip and information about a severance package, as well as a pamphlet about veteran support groups in New York that ended up in an airport trashcan.

Alex didn't go to any veteran support groups for the first year he was back. Instead, he drank. After he went to rehab and moved in with Washington, he started going. He went with Washington, and even after Washington stopped going. He talked about a lot of things, and he listened to people talk. It was one of the only things that kept Alex sober. He stopped going after he bought his house though, feeling as if he was ready to be on his own. The PTSD never went away, but he was coping. He was finding ways of managing it. They didn't always work, but he could handle himself.

"Morning Alex," Phillip greeted, walking into the kitchen.

Alex looked up from his work. "Hey, buddy, your papa is up in the shower, but he'll be down soon. How'd you sleep?"

"Why does your leg look like that?" Phillip asked, staring intently at Alex's leg.

Alex realized that he was just wearing a tee shirt and a loose pair of boxers that went to about the lower half of his thigh, so the kid could very clearly see the prosthetic. Instead of shying away, Alex turned to Phillip to give him a better look. "Because it's not my leg. I lost part of my leg while I was in Afghanistan, and now I wear a fake one so I can walk."

"Have you always had a fake one?" Phillip asked.

Alex nodded. "I don't really notice it anymore. It's basically like my real leg, I can just take it off."

"How'd you lose your leg?" Phillip pressed.

"In a war," Alex answered vaguely. "Did you have any dreams?"

Phillip shook his head. "No. Why can't you remember being asleep?"

"Because our conscious shuts down and the only part of the brain that is working is the part that keeps your heart beating and makes sure you're still breathing," Alex answered, not quite sure if that was correct but hoping it would sound good enough for Phillip.

"What's a conscious?" Phillip asked.

"It's the little voice in your head," Alex said.

"So it goes to sleep too when we go to sleep?" Phillip confirmed.

Alex, not totally knowing if anything he was saying had scientific credibility, nodded. "Yes, exactly."

"Hey, you two," John called as he stepped into the kitchen. "Hey, Pip, I made French toast, and then today we're gonna go to the museum and get some new coats, alright? Alex is gonna stay home and work, and then we're gonna go to the christmas party. Does that sound like a plan?"

Phillip nodded. "And Taco Bell, right?"

John nodded.

" _Right_?" Phillip repeated.

"Don't worry, buddy, we're going," John smiled, kissing Phillip's head before going back to cooking the French toast.

John sometimes noticed things about Phillip that were odd. Growing up surrounded by special needs kids, since his mother was a special needs teacher, he learned how to identify a lot of mental disorders in kids. Phillip was a pretty normal kid, but John saw some signs of autism in him a lot. Phillip wasn't the biggest fan of a change in schedule, and he had a lot of sensory issues, which was why John had waited so long to take him to the subway station. John wanted to get him tested but figured he might as well wait a little bit since Phillip was young. John planned to do it before he started kindergarten, just so he wouldn’t fall behind in school and not get the help or resources he needs.

"I made it just the way you like it," John smiled, setting Phillip's breakfast down in front of him with a fork. John has already cut it since Phillip wasn't quite old enough to do it himself. John looked to Alex. "Hon, would you like me to make you something for when lunch rolls around again?"

"Nah, we got leftovers, I'll just eat some of those," Alex said, looking up from his computer.

"Alright," John nodded, sitting down and picking up the newspaper Alex had brought in.

Soon enough, John and Phillip were at the museum, and Phillip was having a blast. John was holding his hand as the kid walked around. Phillip liked the cool dark room that showed movies about animals, and John was grateful, because walking around screaming kids wasn't exactly his favorite thing to do, but sitting with his son in a dim room with a British commentator talking about tree frogs was nice.

"I like the lizards," Phillip stated.

"I like the turtles," John replied, kissing his son's head.

"Can we get a lizard?" Phillip asked.

"Maybe," John replied.

"Why maybe?" Phillip urged.

John smiled down at Phillip, gently running his fingers over the kid's hair. "It's a lot of work to become a pet owner, Pip. Even Alex can only handle a fish. How about I buy you a lizard stuffed animal first? It'll be just like having your own lizard, but easier."

Phillip groaned, leaning against John. "A real one later?”

"When you're a bit older, we can discuss getting you a lizard," John chuckled.

"Yay!" Phillip cheered. "I love you, papa."

"I love you too, Pip," John smiled.

When Phillip finally got bored of the documentary, they walked around some more. Phillip had fun in the floor about food, running around and pretending it was real food and making a whole meal for John out of the styrofoam and laughing when John gasped, feigning the realization that it was all fake. It was really fun, and finally, when they had done seemingly everything, they found themselves in the gift shop, John telling Phillip he could get one thing and then waiting by the counter for the kid to pick something out.

"That's cute," the girl at the counter commented. "You taking your brother here."

"Oh, uh, he's actually my son," John corrected.

The girl raised her eyebrows. "Your son?"

John chuckled nervously. "College is a crazy place."

She nodded. "Yeah, I just started this year. It's pretty crazy."

John smiled, stepping closer to the girl to actually engage in the conversation. "Oh really? Where are you at?"

"I'm studying law and political science over at Columbia," the girl replied. "I just passed my first-semester final, and I'm trying to unwind from that relief."

John chuckled. "Oh, man, I remember finals. Too stressful for any normal person to survive without Redbull and sweatpants. In my second year for the first semester finals, I remember a girl came into my bio class on a longboard in what looked like a prison jumpsuit, with a Supernatural blanket, and then she opened up about six Five Hour Energy's and drank all of them."

The girl laughed. "That's awesome. I'm Cass."

John smiled and shook her hand. "Nice to meet you Cass, I'm John."

"So, that's your kid?" Cass smiled, nodding towards Phillip, who was still running around, looking for something to get.

John nodded, smiling. "Yup. He's real cute. You wouldn't believe it, but there are times when he's not running around like he's on crack." John sighed, laughing a bit as he heard some kind of dinosaur roar go off. "He's gonna spend hours in here if I don't help him."

"Then you better go," Cass laughed.

John found Phillip, who was staring at the thirty different lizard stuffed animals. The kid looked almost stressed, curling his hair in his fingers with creased eyebrows. John could almost imagine Phillip pulling out a white kerchief and wiping his forehead with it, before snapping his suspenders and hobbling off, mumbling something about the economy.

"Hey, buddy," John murmured, kneeling down next to Phillip.

"I don't know what to pick," Phillip whimpered. "They're all so colorful. It hurts my eyes."

John nodded, looking over the stuffed animals, finding ones with more muted colors. He picked out one that was dark blue and green. "How about this one?"

Phillip ran his hand over it, and the shook his head. "It feels weird."

John nodded and put it back, then found a brown one with spots. "This one?"

"Spots," Phillip grumbled, shaking his head.

John hummed, looking around at the lizards. "Okay, how about this one?" John held out a light yellow lizard. "This one is nice."

Phillip touched the lizard, then nodded. "Yes, this one."

John smiled. "Wonderful." He picked Phillip up and walked over to the counter. "After this, we're going to get new winter jackets, and then we're gonna go get lunch somewhere if you want, or we can go home. Then, when it's time to go to the party, we'll get Taco Bell and then show up, alright?"

"Okay, Papa," Phillip nodded, smiling. John placed the lizard on the counter and paid for it, then bid a quick goodbye to Cass before leaving. Phillip was very happy about his new Lizard, and named it Sunny because it was yellow. John smiled at this, listening to the kid babble.

"Now, Pip, we're gonna take the subway, alright?" John said softly.

"It's loud," Phillip complained.

"I know, but I'll hold Sunny so you can cover your ears," John stated gently. "If we get a seat, you can sit on my lap and close your eyes and cover your ears the whole time, I promise."

"Pinky promise?" Phillip mumbled.

"Pinky promise," John replied. "There might not be any available seats though, but I'll carry you and you can do the exact same thing."

Phillip nodded as John carried him down into the Subway station. John held onto Sunny for Phillip, helping him over the turnstile and then hopping over before going further into the station. The station was loud, and John felt bad for Phillip as the kid buried his face in John's shoulder. The train arrived and John got on, but was forlorn to find there were no seats, so he grabbed onto a pole and waited for the train to start.

"Sir, excuse me, you can take my seat," a man said to John, standing up and gesturing to the spot.

"Oh, thank you," John sighed.

"I have kids of my own, I get it," the man chuckled.

John sighed and sat down, adjusting Phillip a bit so he was comfortable. John gently ran his fingers over Phillip's hair, detangling it a little bit. There were very few people who Phillip would let touch his hair. He never really enjoyed people touching his hair, and John was pretty glad for that. First, who knows what kind of gross shit is on people's hands? Phillip's hair did not need that. Second, John didn't want Phillip to think he was an animal in a petting zoo that people could just observe. Martha, like Phillip, hated when people she didn't know touched her hair. John once watched Martha, eight months pregnant, knock someone on their ass for touching her hair.

"Okay, we're done," John murmured as he stepped out of the train station with Phillip. Phillip relaxed a bit and John set him down, handing the kid his lizard. The two made their way into Target, heading to the kid's section. After a few coats, Phillip found one that he liked. Then, John picked out a jacket, and they went and got checked out.

"Can we get lunch at home?" Phillip asked, tugging on John's sleeve.

John nodded. "Sure, buddy. Let me order an Uber so we don't have to go on the loud subway again."

"Thank you," Phillip smiled.

John and Phillip waited for the Uber, John listening to Phillip make up a nice background story for Sunny. Something about traveling across the desert and what not. They got into the car, and John made small talk with the driver while sitting in the back with Phillip. When they got home, Alex was in the exact place they left him. They had left the house about ten, and it was one or two now, which means Alex had been sitting there for three or four hours. The absence of a dirty dish or fast food container informed John that Alex had, in fact, neglected to eat.

"Hey, Pip, you wanna go upstairs and watch cartoons? Papa is gonna make lunch," John explained.

Phillip smiled and nodded. "Okay, papa."

John sighed and went over to Alex, gently rubbing his shoulders. "Won't you come and take a break? You've been working nonstop, and you deserve a little rest. Go get some pants on and watch cartoons with Phillip and I. I'll make you some food, we can cuddle."

"Mmf, 'm fine," Alex grunted, not really paying attention.

John leaned down and began kissed Alex's neck, his hand slipping to Alex's waist. "Pretty please?"

Alex paused, then turned to look at John. "Are you seducing me into self-care?"

"Is it working?" John mumbled, nipping at Alex's skin a bit.

"Nope," Alex smiled, popping the 'p' to emphasize his point. "I can't get turned on when I have work to do. It's just how I operate."

"Okay, fine," John said with a bit of attitude. It wasn't mean, it was more like 'I don't care anyway' though he did actually. "I guess I'll just go have quality family time with the kid upstairs and watch cartoons and bond and eat food with him." John saw Alex look up out of the corner of his eye as he prepared sandwiches, enough for the three of them. "I suppose none of that would interest you though since you have work and what not."

"Well, I could-"

John cut Alex off. "No, no, we don't want to drag you away from your work. It's obviously important, so you can just work, leaving Phillip and me to our own devices. We'll just be lonesome without you, but you do have work, so I suppose we'll manage." John sighed dramatically. "Somehow."

Alex groaned, getting up and making his way upstairs. "'Be domestic,' they said. 'Settle down with someone,' Look at me, I'm weak. I've become weak. I have an achilles heel now. My enemies could destroy me like _this_.” Alex snapped to emphasize his point. “Why on earth would I ever decide to enjoy the company of someone?"

"I adore you, Alexander!" John called from the kitchen.

"Ditto!" Alex yelled back.

John finished up making lunch and went upstairs to find Alex and Pip on the couch, watching Voltron while Phillip talked about Sunny, and what he and John had done that day. If John wasn't precariously balancing three plates in his hands, he would've smiled at how cute they were forever, but instead, he hurried and sat down next to Phillip, passing out plates.

"Alright, my two favorite boys, it's lunch time," John chuckled.

"Aw, thanks John," Alex smiled, taking a bite. "Alright, so it's two now, should we leave in about three hours for the party, yeah?"

John nodded. "Yeah, sounds good." John pulled out his phone, shooting a quick text to the parent group chat, double checking at least one of them will be there. He got back affirming texts from Herc and James and Sally, so he set his phone back down and ate his sandwich, sighing at the chance to relax.

John ended up taking a quick nap on the couch, and since Phillip and Alex both got bored quickly, they attempted to balance Cheerios on his head, though it all failed when John rolled over, spilling the Cheerios all over the couch and floor. It was hard to stay quiet, and both Alex and Phillip struggled to muffle their laughs.

Four thirty rolled around, and Alex gently shook John awake. The younger man snorted and sat up, groaning a bit. His hair had frizzed out in his sleep, and it took a lot for Alex not to laugh. John found himself gently knocking Alex's shoulder and pushing his hair up into a ponytail. They both kinda chuckled at the intereaction.

"You know, you pull the messy hair look off, I like it," Alex smiled.

John got up off the couch, popping his back. "I'm gonna put it up in a bun. I'll be right back, I wanna grab a nicer shirt or something." John paused. "Do I own anything nice?"

Alex chuckled. "Just wear flannel with a tee shirt or something. This isn't a fancy thing, just some employees drinking rum and arguing. It'll be fine."

John sighed and pecked Alex's lips. "Alright, thanks. I'll change right now and then let's get going, yeah?"

Alex nodded. "Perfect."

John went upstairs and threw on a flannel before coming back downstairs. John carried Phillip to the car and they all got in, Alex heading to Taco Bell first. They all got some food and sat parked for a few minutes, eating it and listening to Phillip's stories. Alex felt really domestic at that moment. He felt like the father he always wanted to be. He knew Phillip was John's kid, and he and John were only dating, but still. He could dream, for a little bit at least.

Alex pulled up to his work building, realizing that John and Pip had never been, so he lead them inside, smiling and giving a very entertaining tour. He stole a bunch of candies from the reception desk for Phillip, and then took them to his office before they went to the large room where the Christmas party was being held.

"This is where I work," Alex smiled, flicking on the light. "Pretty state of the art and all that stuff, you know. I think-"

"Oh, my God!" John cut Alex off, his voice full of joy. "Is this you?"

Alex felt his cheeks heat up as he walked over to the photo. It was of him the day he first got recruited, hair cut, uniform on, a grey background behind him. "Yeah, that was me when I was eighteen. Fresh face in the army."

"I cannot believe you once looked like that," John laughed. "You have literally changed so much. The only reason I knew it was you was your nametag."

"Is that good?" Alex asked slowly.

John nodded. "You look better with long hair. Also, you had no facial hair back then, I don't like it. If you ever shave, I might have grounds to break up with you."

"No way I'm ever shaving then," Alex laughed, running his hand over his goatee.

"See, Pip? That was Alex," John smiled, picking Phillip up so he could see the picture better. "See how different he looked?"

Phillip looked unsure. "Alex doesn’t look like that. I like him better now."

"I know right," John mumbled.

"Alright, alright, come on, I'm sure there are people at the party waiting for us," Alex laughed, pulling John out of the room.

"Aww," whined John. "But I wanna see more baby Alex."

"Washington had a whole box of pictures of me in his attic, so we can look at that some day," Alex convinced.

"Yay," John cheered.

Alex leads John and Phillip down the hall to the room where the party was happening. It was classy, but people weren't overdressed. Piano covers of Christmas music played, and people sipped wine. John could hear Lafayette's French accent, laughing, so he gripped Alex's hand tightly, walking through people he didn't know, looking for a familiar face. Finally, Alex pulled John to space where Thomas, James, Laf, Herc, Sally, Peggy, and the kids were. John set Phillip down and waved to everyone, not wanting to interrupt the story Thomas was telling.

"And then I looked at him and we shared this look like, like we were both these junior rangers ready to take on the world, we both walk into the building, and then we blackout, instantly," Thomas chuckled. He put his arm around Alex. "And when we got out, we were in worse shape than the people we went in to save."

Alex laughed. "Oh, God, you're telling that story? Remember how much shit we got from Washington and Angie for that? I thought that if the fire didn't get me, Angelica would."

Peggy snorted. "No, I actually remember her ranting about this on the phone with Eliza and I. You two were stupid."

Thomas scoffed, feigning hurt. "I beg your pardon."

"John, don't let these idiots fool you," Peggy started. "Alex talks big about his rankings and what not, but the man was a reckless fool in the army."

"I was an angel," Alex chuckled.

"That's a lie," Washington contradicted, joining the group. "I'm bald now because of Alex. The boy was a stressful mess and he could barely even stand up straight in the mornings. I had to pull both him and Jefferson from a fight at one point, because believe it or not, they hated each other for a good couple of years."

"Seriously?" Lafayette chuckled. "I thought you guys had some 'blood bond' or whatever."

Thomas rolled his eyes. "We fought a lot, but Angelica, Peggy's sister, she got really sick of it one day, so she locked us in the bathroom and wouldn't let us out until we worked through our issues. We figured it out, and now we're best friends."

"I still wanna kick him in the balls sometimes, but that's just because I love him," Alex joked, elbowing Thomas' stomach.

"You both are reckless," Washington laughed, putting the two men in a headlock, distracting them from the conversation.

Lafayette just smiled. "They are their own family. I swear they are just the weirdest people in the world. I do not understand them, but they're all good."

James chuckled, watching Thomas and Alex still struggle to break out of the headlock. "They're adorable."

"Oh, I bet you think so," Sally laughed, nodding.

"Whatever," James scoffed. "Should we stop them?"

John snorted at the scene of Alex trying to pull his head out of Washington's arm. "Nah. They're probably fine. Laf, Herc, how're things?"

"Things are well," Herc smiled. "Really well, actually."

"Ooh, really well?" Peggy smirked.

"Uh, Herc is actually going to be moving in with me soon. I asked him last week, and right now, we're just working on some of the minor things because we get going," Lafayette stated. "So, that's gonna be cool."

"Hey! Congratulations," Washington smiled, coming closer with Thomas and Alex, who had just given up, still in headlocks. "I knew you two were going to be good together. Maybe Herc will stop coming and distracting Lafayette from his work now that they'll be living together."

"Non, Herc will still come just as much," Lafayette confirmed, hugging Hercules a bit closer to him. "I could not survive my work day without my darling Herc coming and relieving me of the stresses being an elected official brings."

"Laf," Herc giggled.

Lafayette planted a kiss on Hercules' cheek. "Hush, mon amour. I am in love with you, and I am not afraid of telling the ones closest to us. I am not afraid of telling anyone. If I could tell the whole world, I would because I am just ecstatic over the fact that you are my love."

"Can it, Laf, you're making the rest of us look like rookies," Peggy scoffed.

"Well, you are, mon petit Margarita," Lafayette joked. "And I am sure you all have wonderful romantic gestures that we just have not seen yet."

John paused, thinking for a second, then looked at Alex, who had finally be released from Washington's grip. "Do we have any romantic gestures?"

Alex thought for a second. "Well, we do live together and sleep together. We also scratch in front of each other, so I mean, I guess? I don't know. I've been in like, two real relationships."

John didn't miss Thomas scoffing at that. "Those are good, I think."

Alex smiled, leaning up and kissing John's cheek. "Yeah, I believe they are."

"Papa," Phillip mumbled, tugging at John's sleeve. Phillip had been talking and playing with the other kids for this whole conversation so John was not worried at all about losing Pip. Even if he did, he felt like it would be easy to find him.

"Yeah, buddy?" John replied, crouching down a bit.

"Can I go get a cookie?" Phillip asked.

John nodded, smiling. "Sure thing, kiddo. The table is right over there. Do you want me to come with you or do you think you can go by yourself?"

Phillip thought for a moment, then looked back up at John. "I can go by myself."

"Alright, and if you get lost, ask someone to help you find Alex, since everyone here knows him, okay?" John confirmed.

Phillip nodded. "Okay."

John kissed Phillip's head. "You go, buddy." John sighed, smiling as Phillip snuck through the crowd. "He's growing up so fast. I swear, just yesterday he was waddling around in Pampers, and now he's like, half of a fourth of an adult."

"An eighth," Alex corrected.

"Yes, I suppose that’s correct," John mumbled.

Alex resisted the urge to facepalm.

"Sally, how's the store?" James asked.

"Oh, God, busy," Sally groaned. "We're getting bought out, because the store was originally meant for poor people of color who could not afford new books, hence the reason they put it up near Washington Heights, but a bunch of fucking hipsters are starting to come, and we're getting bought out. I swear, I wanna put up a sign that says 'no white people' but some fucking prick would probably go crying to his million dollar trust fund about 'racism against white folks' or some bullshit. My grandmama was forced to go to an underfunded school and come in the back door of restaurants and sit outside, my Momma's school was so underfunded she couldn't even finish, but the moment we don't want white people coming into some place, the media is alerted and I'm the new racist icon. Damn."

"Manhattan is full of rich white folks," Alex stated. "Oh, don't get me started on Brooklyn. Brooklyn was the original ghetto for the state of New York, black folks were living there because it was cheap, but then that shit got all gentrified, white folks comin' and tryna turn shit into money, pushing out all the black and hispanic people." Alex looked to Thomas and Washington. "You remember, Aaron had that gorgeous Brownstone in Brooklyn, but shit got so expensive there, and he kept getting hassled to sell. They're down in Philly now."

"When the hell is Aaron coming back?" Thomas complained. "Motherfucker's been in Iran for like, years."

"He's been there for seven months, and I talked to Dosia recently, she said he should be coming back soon, but she wasn't sure. They're real short on army docs, so they keep extending his time." Washington groaned. "I mean, you guys remember when we were in Afghanistan? There was barely one doctor for fifty men."

"It's 'cause the government has been ruined and so no one wants to fight for this country," Thomas stated. "I mean, let's face it. Trump is making patriotism uncool."

"Two more years," Peggy sighed. "Two more years and maybe I'll stop getting called a terrorist on the daily."

"Hey, John," Herc said, jutting his chin over in a certain direction.

John looked over, and what he saw made his blood boil. Phillip, looking really uncomfortable, while two white folks touched his hair. John hurried away from the group, swooping into the scene like a bat and pushing Phillip behind him. "Excuse me," he said to the two people, a man, and woman. "Did you ask to touch his hair?"

"Oh, we couldn't help ourselves," the man laughed.

John's eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry, where I'm from, we had a thing called manners, which meant that we didn't touch people's hair without asking."

"What a horribly rude thing to say," the woman snapped.

"Oh? I was being rude? I'm sorry, I don't really care, because you put your hands on my child without mine or his permission. I don't know you, I don't know what you've touched, so don't touch my child's hair. He's not an animal at a petting zoo, and you are not in any position to be touching his hair without him saying you can," John continued.

"What does it matter? It's just hair," the man snapped.

"It is not just hair," John defended. "You don't know how much care goes into my son's hair, you don't know how much history it has with my son's culture. You don't have the right to touch his hair. Don't give me that bullshit excuse about how it's 'just hair' because it's not just hair. I don't want your nasty ass white hands touching my son's hair."

"Excuse me, was that a racist hit?" The man asked.

John snorted. "You obviously have no idea what racism is. Now, I want you to apologize to my son for you, quite frankly, rude and immature actions."

"I have nothing to apologize for," the man spat back.

"If my five-year-old can keep his hands to himself, then there is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to either, now apologize to him for making him uncomfortable and for not asking permission before touching his hair," John snapped.

"Hamilton, control your date," the man commanded.

"Excuse me, the hell did you just say?" John growled.

"Hey, hold on, Adams," Alex started, coming over. "You're not the one that is right, so I will not control my date, because my date’s actions are completely justified. You need to apologize because you don't understand the history that comes with Afro-centric hair."

"Whatever," Adams groaned.

"No, it's not whatever," John corrected, his voice raising. "You are a grown man, you should know better than to touch people without their permission."

"Adams, they're right," Washington put in, walking closer. "You owe John Laurens and his son, Phillip Laurens an apology. Your behavior was inappropriate and out of line, and quite frankly, I cannot believe the insensitivity you are expressing right now. This is an order from your boss. Apologize, now."

Adams glared at John, his eyes narrowing, then looked down to Phillip, who was peeking out at him from behind John's leg. "Phillip, I apologize." Adams looked back up at John. "Mr. Laurens, I apologize. Now, can we be on our way?"

John resisted the urge to backhand the man, picking up Phillip and walking back over to the group, who looked just as mad as John did. All of John's friends were totally black, and they knew how much of an annoyance and disrespect it was when someone- especially someone who was white- touched their hair.

"I swear to God," John muttered, setting Phillip down. "I'm glad tomorrow's wash day for him. I mean, the nerve of that guy, right?"

"That was totally disrespectful, and really gross" Sally agreed. "You should've hit him. I would've if some white dude came up and started touching my kid's hair."

"Oh, I got really close," John mumbled, setting Phillip down to go talk to the other kids. Phillip didn't join them right away though, just stayed near John and nibbled on his cookie.

"John, I would like to personally apologize for the behavior of my employee," Washington started, walking forward.

"No, it wasn't your fault," John replied.

"That was Adams, and just fyi, he is always that terrible," Alex mumbled, coming closer. He kneeled down to Phillip's level, gently patting the kid's shoulder. "That was one of the goblins who works here. You could tell by his pale and sickly skin. Don't worry, when Christmas and New Year's is over, I'll make sure to battle him to the death."

Phillip giggled, then hugged Alex. "Thank you."

Alex was a little shocked, not knowing what to do at first, but hugged back. "Of course, kid. No one does something like that and gets away with it."

John smiled as Alex let go of Phillip, standing back up again. That was really cute, and he could practically hear his friends screaming. It was a big deal to single parents when their kids got along with someone who they got along with, so John found himself gently kissing Alex's temple, letting Phillip go back to playing with his friends.

The party ended and the three of them drove home. Phillip was asleep in the back, and John seemed to be kinda out of it too. Alex didn't mind the quiet reggae and the sound of the New York traffic though. He just held John's hand.

"Hey," Alex started, breaking the silence. "I'm sorry about Adams. I just- I'm sorry."

John shook his head. "I don't blame you. Believe me, that wasn't the first time I've gone off on someone for a reason similar to that. Some adults are pretty understanding when I tell them not to touch Phillip's hair, but some aren't. Maybe I overreacted, but like, it just pisses me off. I don't want my kid thinking that it's okay for someone to touch him without permission, because that never goes anywhere good. I just, I want him to know that his needs are more important than people's desires. I dunno. Did I overreact?"

Alex was quick to answer. "No, no, I don't think you did at all. You had a right to be angry. Just because Adams is used to getting what he wants, doesn't mean we should coddle his feelings. You made a choice as a parent to protect your child, and Adams was the one who escalated it. I was on your side the whole time."

John groaned, looking at Alex. "He just, he doesn't get racism. He really doesn't. Thinking that wasjust about hair. Herc and I were once followed in an art store to make sure we weren't shoplifting because neither of us were wearing nice clothes. White people do not understand racism, they do not understand the importance of hair and culture to us."

Alex nodded, urging John to go on.

"And really, this whole society is built off of capitalism, racism, and sexism. The system is set up so that middle and lower class people of color fail. Schools are underfunded in majority black cities, people of color are stereotyped as criminals, immigrants are seen as lazy, when I have literally never met a lazy immigrant, ever. I mean, _you_ need me to pull you off the couch, but you also work your ass off, even after you’re done. It's like, people want to say racism is a thing of the past when it obviously isn’t! Just because no one is saying that we have to walk in the back door and drink out of this water fountain, doesn't mean the discrimination is gone." John groaned.

Alex nodded. "No, I get what you mean. I mean, my immigration status is widely known, and even after serving this country, fixing New York's financial state, and working my ass off for this job, I still get critiqued for every little thing I do. I don't take sick days because I know people would pounce on that. I want to be the public figure that proves immigrants are hard workers because they are, but no one wants to believe it."

John huffed. "I grew up around immigrants, and their parents were always working. Like, I've seen how hard immigrants work with my own eyes, and it's disgusting that they are hated so much."

Alex sighs, looking at John. "You know I work hard, right? I'm not, I'm not lazy."

John shook his head. "Absolutely not. Alexander Hamilton, you are one of the most hardworking people I know and don't you doubt it for a second. I mean, God, look at where you are and look at where you started. You've come so far."

"And I’ve got a bit left to go," Alex smiled. "I'm gonna be the first immigrant governor of New York, and I'm gonna rock it."

"Damn straight," John nodded.

Alex sighed, beaming over at John. "I adore you."

John kissed Alex's hand. "I adore you too, Alexander."

The three of them got home, and John put Phillip to bed, tying up his hair in a silk scarf and getting the kid into his pajamas. When that was done, John slipped into some pajamas and collapsing on Alex's bed. It was late. They had stayed there much later than intended, so John found himself fading. He was glad he only was working the bar over break because he really was happy about the sleep he would be able to get. He figured if he was in bed by ten, then would get about four hours of sleep, then go do his shift, come home, and sleep for another two hours, he could get some crazy good rest. It was what he had done this morning, and he knew he would do it tomorrow too.

" _Damn_ ," Alex whooped, walking into the room, stirring his concoction. He really wasn't expecting John lying on their bed, no shirt, sweatpants that were just a bit too low on the waistline to leave innocent thoughts in Alex's brain.

"Mmf, c'mere," John requested, holding out his arms. Alex obliged, downing his cup, taking off his leg, and curling up in John's arms. John smiled running his fingers through Alex's hair, feeling how soft it was. The man felt good and sweet in John's arms, and in all truthfulness, John didn't want to let go. Alex was kind, and John treasured that.

"I adore you, John Laurens," Alex mumbled softly, his fingers dancing along John's sides, sending shivers down the younger man's back.

John smiled and pulled Alex into a kiss. "And I adore you as well."

Alex sighed, feeling his Ambien kick in. His pills always took a shorter amount of time to kick in, since they were already dissolved when Alex took them. "Goodnight, John."

John sighed softly, kissing Alex's forehead. "Goodnight, Dear."

Gunshots. Blood. Screaming. It tormented Alex's mind as he slept. Pain was shooting through his leg, and Thomas was yelling. He could hear someone screaming. His jaw was clenched, and he could feel heat. Blood was everywhere. It was dripping down the side of Thomas' head, it was covering his hands. Alex felt like he was going to throw up. And then he wasn't there anymore. He was in a long stretch of dessert, a weight on his back. A body. He could feel blood dripping from the body and onto him, down his arms and chest. There was groaning. Then he was back at the camp, pushing down and pushing down on a chest. Trying every two minutes to find a pulse but failing.

Suddenly, the body woke up, grabbing Alex's uniform and pulling him closer. Alex stared into the grey eyes of the body, the pale lips. Blood loss had taken its toll, but even now, Alex still found every part of it gorgeous; the crooked nose, the scar on his lip from fighting, the facial hair growing on his chin. Alex was equally terrified and in awe.

"Why?" He asked, looking at Alex. "Why did you do that?"

Alex woke up hyperventilating. It was worse than most nights. Tonight he was wheezing, coughing, almost choking. Tears were in his eyes and his body was shaking. Sweat poured down his back and imaged flashed through his head. The sound of the man's voice, so hauntingly real. Alex hadn't heard it in years, and yet his subconscious seemed to have a perfect memory of just what it sounded like.

John woke up too, deciding to intervene since Alex sounded like he was really freaking out. John sat up with Alex, gently placing his hand on Alex's shoulder. "Hey, Alex, hey, hey, deep breaths. It's okay. You're right here. You're right here with me. It's okay, it's okay."

Alex leaned into John, still breathing heavily, still crying, still shaking. His heart felt like it was going a million miles a minute, and he needed someone to ground him back here. He needed John.

"Shh, shh," John whispered softly, stroking Alex's hair. "Shh, it's okay. I'm right here. Nothing bad is going to happen. Nothing is going to hurt you. I'm right here, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

"It was my fault," Alex sobbed. "It was my fault."

"No, no, it wasn't," John comforted, not knowing what Alex was talking about.

"It was," Alex choked out. "They're all dead and it's my fault."

"Shh, no, no, honey," John whispered softly, hugging Alex a bit closer. "It's not your fault. Alex, dear, you have no control who lives or who dies. Don't do this to yourself, it's not your fault. It's not your fault, Alexander."

Alex let John lie them both down, though he was still crying. He curled into John's chest and muffled his sobs. It broke John's heart to just lie there and not be able to do anything, but he kept running his fingers through Alex's hair. Kept whispering soft things, just like he did when Phillip cried. Alex felt so small and scared, and John could feel him shaking. It was sad to hear just how broken the war eft Alex. To hear how hurt and depressed Alex had become from it.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Alex repeated, clutching onto John. "I'm sorry."

"No, shh, it's okay, don't be sorry, it's okay," John mumbled. "I got you, Alex. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave you. I'm not going to let you go. It's okay, it's okay. You're right here. It's over. It's over. You don't have to be scared anymore because it's over. Don't worry. It's all over."

Alex sniffled, wiping his eyes. There was a moment of silence, and then he spoke. "Sometimes, sometimes the dreams, the flashbacks, they're so real to me that even when I wake up, even when I snap out of it, I don't feel like I'm out of it. I feel like I've gone into this autopilot mode and I feel like I have to protect people and I have to protect my house. I feel like a bomb is going to go off, I feel like someone is going to try and hurt me or you or Thomas or anyone, and it's too terrifying. John, I want this to stop. I want it to be over." Alex broke into sobs again. "I'm so sick of being scared all the time. I'm so sick of jumping at loud noises and instantly looking around for a plume of smoke, waiting for someone to scream."

"Shh, shh," John cooed. "It's okay. It's going to be okay. It takes time, Alexander. It takes time."

"I don't want to wait, I want to be okay," Alex choked out.

"I know, I know, but it's going to get better. It's going to be okay," John continued. "I'm here for you. We're safe. We're okay. We're okay. Nothing is going to happen. Nothing is going to hurt us. It's gonna be okay."

Alex sniffled and sat up. "I'm gonna, I'm gonna go for a run, clear my head."

"It's two am," John murmured.

"I know, I know, I just, I need to go for a run. I need to clear my head. I can't, I'm gonna lose it if I try to go back to sleep. I'll be back in an hour or so," Alex mumbled.

John sighed, sitting up. "I gotta get ready for work, anyway. I'll be gone when you get back, but I'll be home at seven. Will you be okay?"

Alex nodded. "I've survived about four years of PTSD with no one's help at all, I'll be fine, trust me. This, you, you just, you helped. Thank you."

John gently kissed Alex's shoulder. "I'm here for you, Alexander. I'll be home all day too, so we can have a down day with Pip. Just watch some movies, relax. It'll be nice."

Alex smiled sadly and kissed John's lips. "Alright. I adore you, John Laurens."

"And I adore you, Alexander Hamilton."

-

Christmas day arrived much quicker than expected, and the three household members had to do some last minute shopping. On Christmas morning, they were all very ecstatic for their own different reasons. Phillip was over the moon at the number of presents he had gotten, a lot of them from Alex, who really just wanted the kid to like them. John was very joyful at the sound of Phillip's laughter, but also quite embarrassed at the fact that Alex had gotten him a new phone, though the tag said 'Santa.' John knew there was no way he could give this back this time, so he just accepted it. Alex was overall content at the fact that he was spending Christmas morning with two wonderful people, having a joyful exchange of gifts, and very happily receiving some notebooks and fancy pens from John and Phillip, as well as high-class coffee, and a Caribbean cookbook along with a promise of cooking lessons.

Everyone was currently cuddled up on the couch, sipping hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies. Phillip was cuddled up to John, and so was Alex. It was peaceful, and they were all pretty warm. Then Alex's phone started to ring.

"Shoot, it's my brother," Alex mumbled. "Why's he FaceTiming me?"

John gave Alex a weird look. "Because it's Christmas and he's your brother? Answer it, I wanna meet him."

Alex groaned as John paused the movie. "We're going to regret this."

The call was accepted and the screen filled with the image of a man. He looked akin to Alex, but not totally similar. More facial hair, tanner skin, normal sized nose, and lighter eyes. John could see the similarity, but he could also see differences.

"Hey, dumbass, what's poppin'?" The guy asked.

"James, watch your language, we got a kid here," Alex snapped.

James tilted his head, looking at John and Phillip. "Who're they? Who'd you pay to get your sorry butt a family on Christmas?"

Alex looked at John, sighing, then back to James. "This is John, my boyfriend of two months and roommate of five months. That's his son, Phillip." Alex looked to John and Phillip, who by now had climbed onto John's lap to get a better view. "Phillip, John, this is my half brother, James Hamilton. He's worse than me, believe it or not."

"Uh huh, whatever. Merry Christmas," James laughed.

Alex rolled his eyes. "Merry Christmas."

"You want me to ask dad to call you?" James offered casually.

Alex almost bit a piece of his tongue off. "No. I don't. I don't for several reasons, and you know all of them. And he's not my dad, he's your dad."

James rolled his eyes. "He's basically your dad."

"Then he should act like it," Alex scoffed. "I'm not getting into this with you right now. It's Christmas, I'm introducing you to my boyfriend, and you should show a little interest since you took all the time to call me."

"Hi, John and Phillip," James smiled, his energy becoming much kinder now that he wasn't talking to Alex. "It's nice to meet you guys. I'm glad to see my sad sack brother finally found someone who could put up with him."

John smiled and hugged Alex closer to him, kissing the older man's cheek. "It's not that hard. He's real sweet when you're not belittling him all the time."

James raised his eyebrows. "Alright, he's got spice. I like him. Better than that crazy chick. What's her name?"

"Eliza," Alex filled in.

"Yes, yes, her," James laughed. "She was something else, lemme tell you, John. I met her once back before Alex became a rich fancy politician and decided he was too good for me-"

Alex scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"-And I swear, I've seen crazy women, don't get me wrong, but Eliza was like, terrifying. I mean, I was actually concerned for Alex, which never happens. If she wasn't rich and Alex wasn't constantly away from home and cheating on her, I would've suggested divorce."

"Alright, okay, that's good enough," Alex huffed. "How's home?"

"You know it's good," James smiled. "Uh, the house is almost done, so if you wanna come down and visit at some point before one of us dies, that would be nice. You could even bring your boyfriend or whatever."

"Yeah, alright," Alex mumbled.

James rolled his eyes. "I don't know why I even try. I gotta go, I was meeting a few guys at the bar. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Alex scoffed, turning his phone off.

"You have an... interesting relationship with your brother," John observed as he unpaused the movie.

"It's crap, I know," Alex mumbled.

"Is he building a house?" John asked.

Alex nodded. "He's rebuilding the place we lived before it was destroyed. He's got a little bodega on the bottom floor just like always, and he's building the two apartment rooms on top, where we lived, and where the store owner, Stevens and his son, Ned, lived. We rented it for a long time, and even after my mom passed, I lived there with Ned and Stevens. James lived there longer than me, with my mom and his dad."

"What happened? You said it was destroyed," John mentioned.

Alex nodded. "Yup. Hurricane. That's around the time I moved up to America, and Stevens was just letting me live there until the system found a place for me. James had been saving up to buy the property for a while, and he finally did it, and he's rebuilding the place."

"You should visit," John suggested.

Alex shrugged. "He doesn't want me to visit. He just wants to look nice because mom always wanted us to stay close. Believe me, last time James and I got together, it was nasty."

"How old were you last time you two got together?" John asked.

"I was twenty and he was like, thirty, I think," Alex mumbled.

"Well, fourteen, almost fifteen years have passed since then, so maybe you should try. Look, take it from someone who would kill to be spending Christmas with their siblings right now, family is important. I think you should call him back, actually catch up, yeah? Go into the other room so Pip and I don't impose," John finished.

"But I just, I-" Alex groaned when he was cut off by a look from John. "Okay, okay, fine, whatever. I'll do it." Alex got up, grabbing his phone and walking down into the kitchen. He sat at the table and pressed the call button, not FaceTime since he hated FaceTime. It rang twice before James picked up again.

"What?" James snapped.

Alex sighed. "Hey, it's Christmas." A pause came over the line, so Alex continued. "I know I haven't always been the best brother. I haven't been there for you, I haven't visited half as much as I should've. Our phone calls usually consist of cheap shots we take at each other, and we've never really talk. I'm just, I'm sorry."

James paused. "Your boyfriend talked you into this, didn't he?"

Alex laughed. "I'm not doing this so I can get laid tonight, before you insinuate that. He has siblings, four of them, and I know he'd give anything to be with them right now. He can't, because of some family shit, but he'd kill for the opportunity. I have the opportunity, and I'm not going to lose it because I'm a prick."

James sighed from the other end. "I know I'm not the best brother either. I mean, I just kinda left you. I wasn't there for you when mom died, I wasn't there for you when you were struggling in America. I watched your wife hit you and I just laughed, when I really should've done something. I knew you were spiraling when you got back from Afghanistan, and I didn't even, I didn't even visit."

Alex chuckled darkly, running his hand over his face. "So, basically, we're just shit brothers to each other."

"Yeah, pretty much," James agreed. He paused, then sighed. "Tell me about what's been going on, Alex. I feel like I don't know anything about your life."

"Oh, uh, not a whole lot," Alex started. "I'm still in the same position in government, but I'm looking to run for Governor after Washington steps down. I'll be the first immigrant Governor of New York, so that's going to be exciting. Uh, then I'm dating John, which is nice."

"Is he crazy like Liz?" James joked.

"Nah, he ain't," Alex confirmed. "He's really sweet. He's understanding of the PTSD, and everything. His kid is super nice, and they're both just, awesome. I dunno, I'm getting mushy and whatever. What about you?"

James chuckled breathily. "I've been busy. Between rebuilding the house, running the bodega, somehow finding time to hang out with my friends, I've just, I haven't really had time for anything else. I’m good though." James paused. "Are you still Jewish?"

"I'll always be Jewish by law," Alex laughed. "But I mean, I'm not actively practicing it, really. I have religion, just not Jewish religion."

"Oh, alright, I just, I found out mom had a storage spot recently, just something small, and it had a birthday present for you in it. A necklace with the Star Of David on it. I don't know, there are a few other things that had your name on them, would you like me to send them up, or are you good?" James coughed a bit.

"No, no, send it up," Alex said quickly. "Please, Star Of David too."

"Alright," James sighed. "I had it all in a box, so I'll drop it off at the post office later today." James laughed a little bit. "You know, your accent is all fucked up. You're talking like a real New Yorker. What happened to little Hispanic Alex who called me 'Hames' and could barely speak two words of English?"

Alex just laughed at this observation. "English is overrated. I wish I could just talk in Spanish when I'm at work. No one knows how smart I am in Spanish or French, and I can't articulate myself very well in English."

"What about Hebrew?" James teased.

"I remember how to count to ten in Hebrew," Alex reminded.

"Man," James chuckled. "Mom would be pissed."

"She's beat me!" Alex exclaimed. "She'd get her wooden cooking spoon and she'd chase me out of the house, cursing at me. She'd probably try to strangle me if she knew what I was eating. Damn."

"America ruined her perfect Jewish son," James gasped, laughing. He paused, then sighed. "I think about her every day."

"Me too," Alex mumbled. "I have a few pictures of her, but they're somewhere in my closet. I don't hang them up, I don't know why." Alex bit his lip. "James, don't you ever hate her? Don't you ever hate her for cheating on your dad with Stevens? I was the reason he left, the reason you were passed between homes. Don't you ever hate me?"

"I never hated her, and I, I don't hate you anymore. I did," James admitted. "I hated you from the moment you were born, and then for a long time after. After that call I got when you were in the army, about, well, you know, I realized that you were my family. I can't hate you, Alexander. You are my brother, no matter what. If you don't want to come down for your own reasons, then I get that. Just, call me."

"I'm not ready to go back," Alex mumbled softly. "I know that sounds like the pussy response, but I just, I can't go back yet. If you want to come back, I'll pay for a ticket and everything, I just, I can't go down there yet."

James chuckled. "I'll try to come up when I finish the house. Maybe if you're still with John I can meet him in person. I always knew you'd have kids first."

"Phillip isn't, he's not, I just-"

James cut Alex off. "You can't seriously tell me you wouldn't kill to be referred to as Phillip's other dad? You can tell me you wouldn't mind the kid calling you dad or Pop or if you want to really get back to your Jewish roots, abba."

Alex was quiet, then he laughed. "Yeah, I wouldn't mind that. I'm not gonna push anything though. How is your dad?"

James sighed. "Nursing home, right now. Dementia."

"I'm sorry," Alex apologized. He wasn't sorry, but if he learned anything from escorting refugees safely across borders, it was empathy.

"I'm gonna let you go, Alex," James sighed. "You’ve got family waiting for you."

"Yeah, alright," Alex sighed.

"I'll send you that package, then call you up whenever I can or something," James confirmed. There was a moment of silence, and then he coughed, obviously feeling awkward. "I love you, Alex. Good luck."

"Love you too," Alex replied. "Talk later."

"Talk later," James chuckled before hanging up.

Alex went back upstairs, setting his phone down on the table and curling up against John again, watching the part of Home Alone he’d walked in on. John hugged Alex closer, handing him his mug of hot chocolate and kissing Alex on the forehead.

"How was it?" John asked.

Alex shrugged. "Not awful. We caught up, said nice things. Are you happy?"

John nodded. "You should always talk to family on Christmas."

Alex smiled up at John. "I spent the whole day with you two, I think that's just enough for me." Alex sighed. "He's sending up a box of things that my mom was going to give to me. They were in a storage box at the post office or something. It's weird. Talking to him reminds me of celebrating Hanukkah with all of them."

"You're Jewish?" John asked.

Alex nodded. "By law, yeah. I don't actively practice the Jewish religion, and my last name isn't Jewish because my mom used James' dad's last name for me, just to cover up an affair that she had. Anyway, I'm not Jewish, and I haven't practiced the Jewish religion in years, but I do have Jewish blood and I was raised Jewish."

John creased his brows. "Did you want to celebrate Hanukkah?"

Alex shook his head. "No, no. I don't like the whole 'organized religion' thing. Even though my mother would pelt me with Latkes and curse me out in Hebrew, it would be okay."

John nodded, pulling Alex a bit closer. "I'm glad you're here with us."

Alex smiled, glancing at Phillip who was half asleep. "You know, this is one of the best Christmases I've had in a really long time. With Eliza it was terrible, and when I was alone, I would usually buy a bottle of Jack Daniels, stare at it for a very long time, and then dump it all out and order some Chinese food. This year had been great. I mean, I finally pulled out the plastic tree I have, and we all decorated it, and then last night, going over to Laf's house and eating a big dinner with everyone because Herc insisted we do so. I dunno, maybe I'm being mushy, or maybe I'm just thinking about how happy momma would be that I have settled down a bit, but I just, thank you. Thank for all of this."

John smiled gently, pulling Alex into a light kiss. "This is one of the best Christmases I've had too. I'm glad I'm with you, Alexander. You are quite a wonderful person, and I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad my car broke down in a fast food parking lot, and I'm glad you refused to get it started again."

"Refused?" Alex laughed. "Baby, even if I wanted to, there was no way that car was getting started again without me shocking myself to death."

John pushed Alex lightly, sticking his tongue out at the man. "Whatever."

Alex smiled, sighing softly. "I adore you, John Laurens."

"I adore you too, Alexander Hamilton."  



	13. *life, hitting Alex with a purse* Don't be fucking HAPPY

"So, Washington just has a box full of photos of you? And this is how you wanted to spend your birthday?" John asked incredulously as he and Alex drove to the governor's house. Alex had prompted John with a trip to Washington's to reminisce with him and Thomas, after dropping Phillip off at Sally's. He had been intrigued by that photo in Alex's office, and was looking forward to seeing more photos of little Alex. Christmas break was almost over, and New Years had passed, which meant that this was the last week everyone had off before going back to work. Of course, John had been working, all through the break, but only his part-time bar job.

"Yeah," Alex nodded. "It's not like they're all of me sleeping, this isn't some creepy stalker thing. I just sort of gave Washington the box to keep because I couldn't deal with looking through it. But, you know, today is a good a day as any. Thomas had a box too, so he's coming over. I don't know if James will be accompanying him, but maybe.

John smiled, taking Alex's hand. "I'm excited. I wanna see what baby Alex looked like."

"Oh, I think I have some wedding photos in there, so you wanna see what I looked like on the worst day of my life?" Alex joked.

"Was she really that bad?" John wondered.

Alex nodded. "The woman was crazy, John."

John chuckled and kissed Alex's hand. "Well, I don't think I'm crazy."

"John, compared to her? You are an angel sent from heaven," Alex chuckled. John sighed and kissed Alex's hand, making the older man chuckle. "I swear, I would rather be in Afghanistan than home with her."

"Don't say that," John sighed.

"Now I wanna say it even louder," Alex teased, pulling up to Washington's mansion. It was way bigger than Alex's house. Bricks, a bit of a lawn, which was surprising for a Manhattan townhouse, and at least five stories. The two of them got out, and while John went for the doorbell, Alex pushed right in, dragging John behind him.

"Hey, y'all!" Washington yelled from the kitchen.

John had never seen the man in any less than a suit, so it was weird to see him in just a pair of plain khaki pants and a tee shirt. "Hello, Mr. Washington."

"Please, just call me Washington. Or George. You can call me major if you want, but Alex is the only person who does that anymore, so don't be surprised if I call you Alex," Washington laughed.

"Okay, Washington," John replied.

"Come in, come in, there's food in the living room. Thomas is chomping at the bit to look at photos. John, I believe your friend is in there too. James?" Washington confirmed.

John nodded. "That sounds right."

"I'll be there in a second, I'm just getting some drinks," Washington called out.

"Alright," Alex responded, leading John upstairs. The house was way bigger than his, so John had to admit he was a little intimidated, but all of those emotions were immediately gone when he saw his friend, James, sitting on a light blue loveseat, leaning against Thomas.

"Jemmy, my boy," John greeted, sitting down on the couch.

"Johnathan," James laughed, blowing a kiss. "It has been too long."

"Yes, that two week period of us not seeing each other was agonizing," John teased. "How's work? How's being back with the demons?"

"I got a shitload of new kids in my classes because we lost a teacher over break," James reported, sighing.

"Shit, I'm so sorry," John mumbled as Alex sat next to him. "Were you close?"

"Oh! They're not dead," James laughed. "If any teacher in that school was going to die, it would be me. No, the teacher went to Africa over break and was offered an English job after talking to the right person at a bar, so he quit and is moving to Africa. For once, we're losing a teacher and it's not due to budget cuts."

John smiled. "Improvement I guess. Hi, Thomas."

"Hello, John," Thomas replied kindly. "Hey, Alex, how's life?"

"Can't complain," Alex laughed.

"Alright, alright, I'm here, let's open these boxes," Washington smiled, walking in with a tray with some drinks on it.

"Thanks," John mumbled, looking at the lemonade with strawberries and mint leaves in it.

"Alex, that one is yours," Washington directed, sitting in his chair. All the furniture had been pulled around a coffee table with show boxes on it. One said 'Alex' on it, written in Sharpie, and the other said 'Thomas.'

"Wait, which one?" Alex asked.

"The one with your name on it, stupid," Thomas laughed, grabbing his box.

"Well, up yours too," Alex chuckled, flipping Thomas off. He opened the box and pulled out a picture, then laughed. It was him and Thomas, both just wearing their underwear with bandanas over their head. They were posing in bodybuilder poses in what looked like a desert wasteland. "Thomas, dude, check this out."

"You were ripped," John commented, pulling a photo of Alex, shirtless, with another dude under his arm. Both looked shitfaced but happy.

"Yeah, I would compete with Thomas, Jay, and Aaron to see who could lift the most. Obviously, age has gotten to us," Alex snorted.

"To you, maybe," Thomas scoffed. "I'm still six packing it. You could crack an egg on my stomach, baby."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Batman."

Thomas chuckled, handing a picture to Alex. "Dude, check this out."

Alex smiled at a picture of him and Jay. He remembered that day. Alex was sending a video home to Eliza of him, and her sister and all their friends, and there was music playing. Jay was messing around with Alex, trying to embarrass him, and then they ended up wrestling while Angelica rolled her eyes and apologized to Eliza for how childish they were being. The picture was right at the moment Jay had pinned Alex down. Jay's brown hair was splayed over his forehead, sticking there with sweat. Alex was only twenty-two in the photo, which made Jay twenty-four. It was a good day.

"That was Jay," Alex pointed out. "He could kick my ass in a fight any day."

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure that was all him," Thomas said sarcastically. "I'm sure it had nothing to do with your soft spot for him."

Alex rolled his eyes, handing the photo back to Thomas. "Dude, do you have that picture with Angie and Aaron? It's not on my computer, so if you see it, lemme see it for a second."

"Yeah, I'll keep my eye out," Thomas promised.

"Oh, okay, here's a good one," Alex laughed, pulling out a photo of Thomas and Angelica enjoying steak. "Okay, so, it's me, Jay, Thomas, Angie, Aaron, Washington, and a bunch of other people and we're out and we're looking for Taliban, right? Okay, I'm like, twenty-four and Thomas is twenty-six, so we're a little trigger happy adrenaline junkies. Suddenly, I hear gunshots, and I'm like, freaking out because Thomas is yelling."

"Oh God," Thomas muttered.

"And he's screaming, and he's like 'Taliban! I killed Taliban!' So like, we're happy, because I mean, he obviously didn't kill the whole organization, but we're always happy when we kill another one, and so people are turning on flashlights because like, it's late and it's dark. So we wanna see if the person we got is still living if we can interrogate and stuff like that." Alex paused, laughing. "The only thing Thomas got was a cow."

"No!" James laughed. "Oh, man, that's golden."

"It's true," Washington confirmed, picking up the photo. "He was so excited too."

Alex smiled. "Yeah, but then a bunch of us ended up dragging the cow back, since Aaron was a medic and a few guys in the camp were butchers, and we cut up the cow, and we had steak for the first time in eight months."

"That was such a long deployment," Thomas groaned. "I just wanted to go home."

"I could've stayed longer," Alex chuckled.

"Well, yeah, but that's because you had a crazy wife," Thomas pointed out.

Alex nodded, pulling a few more pictures out of the box and laughing. "Oh, speaking of crazy, here she is."

John rested his chin on Alex's shoulder to look at her. The picture was of her and Alex. Alex was obviously younger, but his facial hair was growing in. He was wearing a grey tee shirt and some army uniform pants, smiling at the camera. Eliza was sitting in his lap, smiling too. Alex had his arms wrapped around her waist, and Eliza had her hands over his. They looked really happy.

"Man, we got into such a huge fight that night," Alex sighed.

"Was that the night you had to spend the night at my place?" Thomas asked.

"No, no, you were out or something that night. I ended up crashing at Jay's, which was far from a five-star hotel, but it was nice," Alex laughed. "We played video games and drank all night. Ended up passing out around five am and slept until noon."

Thomas smiled sadly. "His apartment was always a fucking mess."

Alex chuckled. "Thomas, you don't know the fucking half of it. I would show up there and he'd have shit on his floors that he couldn't even identify. I'm like, holding up something and he just doesn't even know what it is. Oh, let's not forget the mattress on the floor."

"Oh, God, even you on a bender knew well enough to get your mattress off the floor." Thomas chuckled, looking at John and James. "This dude, he was a fucking mess. Okay, so he had no sheets, no pillow cases, just a huge fucking throw blanket. Usually, it was one of his friends who did his laundry, and holy shit, the only way we could get him in the shower was if-"

Alex coughed very loudly.

"If we paid him," Thomas finished casually.

"He was a great soldier though because he actually _listened to what I was saying_ ," Washington accused. "I swear, if Thomas and Alex weren't as good as they were, I would've had them kicked out of the army much earlier than I did."

"Hey, we weren't kicked out!" Alex scoffed. "We were just forced to step down due to medical reasons! If our bodies weren't so fucked up, we would've been just fine."

"Oof, I'm glad I had to step down," Thomas admitted. "I was getting tired of the whole thing. There is only so long I could've kept doing that."

"I would most definitely still be in the army if I could be," Alex stated. "I'd be in Yemen, kicking ass, taking names." Alex punched the air. "Make the Hamilton name mean something again."

"You did bring New York's financial situation from ruins to like, it's prime, but yeah, no, talk about how you've done nothing since you left the army," Washington commented sarcastically.

"I also got a divorce," Alex pointed out. "And bought a house."

"Oh, Lex here's the pic of Aaron and Angie," Thomas stated, handing a photo to Alex.

"Alright, here's a story," Alex laughed, setting the picture down on the table. "Okay, so Aaron is like, two years younger than me, which means he's like, fifteen years younger than Angelica." Alex looked at the photo. "So he's this fresh-faced eighteen-year-old and Angelica is this whole grown ass thirty-three-year-old woman who has a 'reputation' of turning boys into men, and at this point in time, Aaron was far from a man."

John laughed at the photo. Aaron looked like he was flirting, and Angelica had her hand up, looking bored. "He looked really young."

"Oh, man. He's thirty-two right now, and he has a beautiful daughter and drop dead gorgeous wife. Man, she's got the legs of a gazelle and the tits of a-"

"Oh boy, Alex, you really do not remember how to act in a relationship," Washington huffed. "Don't talk about your friend's wife's tits in front of the man you have so nicely devoted your heart to."

"I mean, hold on, what kind of tits are we talking about?" John asked.

"Even, C cup, perky too," Alex described.

" _Ooh_ , those are the best kind," John nodded.

"I don't understand your generation, John," Washington huffed.

"Wait, hold on, aren't Alex and I both millennials?" John asked.

"No, I'm gen X," Alex clarified.

"Hold on, what year were you born in, though?" Thomas asked. "Because I thought I was a millennial and I'm older than you."

"I was born in eighty-four," Alex responded.

"Okay, well, generation X ends in the early eighties, so if you are generation X, then you just barely make it, but a few other sites are saying it ended in eighty-two," Washington stated, looking at his phone.

"Wait, hold on, I was born in eighty-two, what does that make me?" Thomas asked.

"Uh, I don't know," Washington replied slowly. "Maybe you pick?"

"Well I wanna be gen X," Alex stated. "I want to be a different generation than John."

"Why?" John laughed.

"Because you're already the top in this relationship, I want at least a generation above you," Alex stated.

"Well, you know, I'm like, two years off from being gen Z so like, if you're a gen X then there's basically a whole generation between us." John chuckled a bit. "Wow, you are so old."

"Okay, I am nine years older than you," Alex laughed, pushing John a bit. "And if I'm so old, then what're you doing hanging out around a fart like me? Huh? Shouldn't you be out with your cool hip friends instead of reliving my war memories with me?"

"Aw, I happen to like a fart like you," John chuckled, kissing Alex's cheek.

"Alright, alright, back to the story," Thomas huffed impatiently.

"Oh, yeah, okay, so Aaron hears about Angie's reputation, and so he kinda starts flirting with her, right? And she's totally over it, from the start, because she and I had our own little thing at that point in time and she wouldn't do me like that, and then Aaron goes in for the kill, and she literally dumps her drink on him and leaves. Oh, man, he's so butthurt too. It was awesome." Alex chuckled. "Angie was the most badass person in that camp. Let's face it, Thomas, we had nothing on her."

Thomas nodded. "I'm still scared of her from when she slapped me. I'm scared of Eliza too, but that's more because you'd show up at the airport for our deployments with like, black eyes and bandages over where she scratched you and shit."

"Remember when she tried to hit me with her car?" Alex laughed.

"No, okay, you deserved it though," Thomas pointed out.

"How did I deserve it?" Alex gasped.

"I'm not trying to take Eliza's side right now," Washington started. "But you did fuck her sister, _in_ y'all's bed, and then when she walked in on it, you asked her if you could have a few more minutes to finish up."

"Alex!" John gasped.

"Okay, but she tried to hit me with her car," Alex pointed out.

"She didn't handle it the best," Washington sighed. "But you should've have been so careless. Honestly, Alex. At that point, you had been cheating on her for what, four? Five years? You knew better."

Alex rolled his eyes. "You're right, I suck."

"You did cheat on your wife," John pointed out, smirking.

"It was purely political," Alex defended. "Oh, speaking of my wife, here she is again." Alex showed John a picture of Eliza, smiling happily at the camera and holding up her left hand. "That was the day I proposed to her. My visa was gonna expire soon, so I proposed to her, we planned our wedding in a month, and then we got married." Alex looked up to John, ignoring the side conversation that Thomas and Washington were having. "When you're married, you have all the time in the world to become a legal citizen and not have to worry about being deported and shit. Since I'm from the Caribbean, it was a bit easier for me to become a legal US citizen, but shit, that was still a long process. If I wasn't fighting in the war, I was filling out forms and becoming an American."

"Alex, do you still have that book I gave you to read?" Thomas asked.

"An American Primer? Yes, I do. I still reread it a lot, it was really good," Alex replied. "There's not a whole lot to do sometimes, so I read a lot of books. Uh, I think I made it through the whole Hobbit and Lord Of The Rings series, War And Peace, anything Charles Dickens has ever written, Tale Of Two Cities, the Bible, Torah, Book Of Mormon, Dhammapada, Quran, and for fun, The Great Gatsby."

"Hold on, you read five different religious texts?" John laughed. "Why?"

"So I could create my own religion with my own morals and stuff," Alex explained. "Literally everything about the way I live my life was taken from those five books. Also, I was in religious studies, as well as political sciences, so I thought it appropriate to educate myself on the morals of American citizens." Alex smiled, running his fingers over John's thigh. "I still have my copy of the Torah that my momma gave me."

John kissed Alex's shoulder. "That's sweet."

"Hey, Alex, I think you would like this more than I would," Thomas stated, handing Alex a picture. It was of a much younger Alex, on the back of a guy John recognized by now to be Jay. Jay was flexing, and Alex had his arms wrapped around Jay's neck, smiling wide.

"Oh, man, would you look at that," Alex smiled. "Shit, when did I get so old? Man, I'd cut my hair again if I could."

"Why don't you?" John asked softly.

Alex chuckled, putting the photo back in the box. "It wouldn't be worth all the backlash. I'd get too many questions, you know, about the hearing aid and the scars and shit. I don't like reliving war memories in front of people I don't trust."

So this was something. Alex trusted John. John didn't know what to do with this information, but it made his stomach feel warm. Alex trusted him. Alex felt okay being vulnerable around him. Usually, most people do once they've been dating for a couple of months and have lived together for longer, so John did feel a little bad about the fact that he had continued blocking himself up around Alex, even when Alex had told him, straight up, that he could talk about things with him. John knew eventually he'd had to give up and let down his walls. Alex was somehow slithering his way in John's heart, and John really didn't know how he felt about it, but so far, nothing bad was showing its face, so that was good.

"Well," John started, kissing the scarred cheek Alex has. "Whatever you want, you'll still be just as beautiful to me."

Alex smiled and leaned against John. "You're too sweet." Alex pulled out a picture and laughed. "Hey, Major, you remember this?"

Alex handed Washington a photo that the older man would've been fine with never seeing again. It was him at Alex and Eliza's house with an old girlfriend. It was New Year's, and Washington was drunk as a skunk, wearing some sunglasses that looked like the number '2008,' as well as some cheetah pants and a purple boa.

"Oh, God," Washington groaned. "Please, burn this."

"Oh, I actually want to frame it," Alex smiled. "Can I keep some of these?"

"The box has your name on it, Alex. I've seen most of the pictures anyway, and the ones that I wanted to keep were copied and framed," Washington replied, smiling. "It's all yours."

Alex smiled. "Sweet, because I haven't really seen a lot of these. All these photos of Jay..." Alex trailed off, trying not to think too deeply about the subject. "How long has it been?"

"Coming up on ten years," Washington answered. "Crazy, right?"

Thomas chuckled, running his hand over his face. "Crazy."

"I miss that mother fucker. You know, when we got back, we were gonna, gonna get an apartment together, be roommates." Alex wiped his cheek, though nothing has started falling yet. "Bastard was my best friend, and he fuckin' left. I hope he's kicking himself for it."

"No you don't," Thomas sighed.

"You're right," Alex mumbled. Alex perked up a bit, sighing as he gripped John's hand. "He'd be real happy to see where we all are today. Aaron with a wife and kid, the lot of us, in relationships, you, Major, with kids. Oh, man, I can just see him cheering for Angie, telling her to stick it to the man. John, you would've liked him."

"Oh?" John replied, squeezing Alex's hand a bit.

Alex nodded. "You both hate the government. I can just see you two, scheming and plotting to overthrow the Trump administration and starting a socialist society. He was, he was a huge socialist, and you both shared a lot of the same political views. Oh, he would've loved you. He would've been friends with you before you opened your mouth."

"He sounds amazing," John admitted.

Alex nodded, kissing John's shoulder. "He was." Alex pulled out another photo and laughed. "Okay, here's a good story. So, you see how I'm naked and so is Aaron, and we both look very mad, right?"

John nodded, laughing.

"Okay, so what happened was, Angelica had stolen our clothing for one reason or another, and we just thought it was in the laundry tent, so we tried to make a run for it, but we were ambushed. Jay and Thomas were taking pictures and laughing their asses off, Angelica was mocking us with our clothing, because it was either flash the camp and get our clothes, or keep ourselves covered but stay standing there." Alex laughed, putting the picture back in the box and leaning his head against John's shoulder. "Washington finally came out and made everyone, including Aaron and I, run laps until he was satisfied."

"Did you and Aaron..." John trailed off.

Alex laughed, nodding. "No, we didn't have to run naked, we got our clothes back."

"Who's this?" John asked, picking up a photo and pointing to Alex and a woman who hadn't been introduced yet, hugging and holding up beer bottles.

"Oh, that's Aaron's wife, Dosia," Alex stated. "She was a bartender studying to be a chemist, and she worked at this bar that Aaron, Thomas, Jay, Angelica, and I would go to when we weren't deployed. She's a real sweet girl, and everyone was pretty surprised that Aaron was the one she ended up with, but they're a great couple." Alex chuckled. "This was on her birthday. She and I had just gotten finished singing karaoke of Love Is Strange, which was more of an excuse for Dosia to tease Aaron a bit."

John smiled. "You two sound close."

"What? Me and Dosia?" Alex laughed. "The only reason Dosia and Aaron got together when they did was that I paid him twenty bucks to ask her on a date. I was Aaron's best man at their wedding, and I was there when their daughter was born since Aaron was overseas. I had just gotten out of rehab, and I drove all the way down to Philadelphia the moment Dosia told me about going into labor. She broke my hand from how hard she was squeezing it, and when the baby finally came out, the doctors handed it to me, and I handed it to Dosia. It was crazy to be there, but Aaron really wanted someone with her, and she was a real big help when I was trying to get into rehab."

John kissed Alex's cheek. "I'm glad you had her."

Alex nodded. "Me too."

"What's this?" John asked, pulling at an envelope labeled 'FH' with at least forty or more pictures in it.

Alex's breath caught in his throat. He knew exactly what that was. He knew all the pictures it held, and he knew all the memories it held too. 'FH' were initials. Initials of his biggest regret. Alex, in his life, had made many mistakes. It didn't take a genius to see that. Alex could admit most of his mistakes without blinking, which was something a politician had to be good at. This one though, this one was something he could barely even think about.

"Oh, Alex, those photos-"

Alex cut Washington off. "I know what they are."

Washington paused, then stood up. "Thomas, James, won't you walk with me for a little bit? I need some help with something in the kitchen."

Thomas looked up from the photo he was showing James, then at Alex, then at the envelope, then back at Washington. "Sure. James didn't you need to-"

James cut Thomas off. "Yeah, I did."

The three of them left Alex and John alone in the living room. John was incredibly curious, and very thankful that it looked like Alex was going to talk about the envelope. Alex took the envelope from John's hands and opened it up. He pulled out the pictures, sighing, and then handed the first one to John. It was an ultrasound photo, and from John's knowledge, the baby in the photo wasn't more than three months old.

"Read the back," Alex requested softly, not even looking at the photos in his hand.

John flipped the picture over, reading the message aloud softly. "Dear, Alexander. It's yours. Love, Eliza." John gasped, flipping the picture back over and looking at the baby. Truthfully, it only looked like a smudge of cream cheese in deep blue ink, but that was for sure a baby. "Alexander, you didn't tell me you..."

"I don't," Alex responded bitterly. "Not anymore."

John looked over at Alex, who was now staring down at a photo of him and Eliza, who was at least seven months pregnant. "What happened?"

"Eliza was twenty when she got pregnant," Alex started. "I wasn't there when she found out, and I wasn't there when she gave birth. I was there briefly in between, got to talk to the baby a little bit." Alex handed John the photograph. "It wasn't like- it wasn't like I didn't have a choice. I could've been there. But I wasn't. I didn't want to be. It felt it felt wrong. It felt inconsiderate. I didn't want to intrude."

"It was your kid though," John pointed out.

"I was a twenty-one-year-old punk with onset alcoholism," Alex snorted. "I felt it would've been wrong if I was there, so I wasn't there." Alex showed John a picture of Eliza with the newborn baby in her arms. "My daughter's name was Francis. She was born a healthy seven pounds, dark brown eyes, and a head full of hair."

"Phillip was like that," John mumbled.

"Of course he was," Alex mumbled sweetly, smiling. "That kid has better hair than any other five-year-old I know. The kid has better hair than most of the people I work with."

John smiled softly, leaning against Alex.

"I first met my daughter when she seven months old. She had been baptized, much to my protest, but I was set on reading her the Torah." Alex laughed. "I had absolutely no understanding of kids, so while she babbled in her crib, I was reading her the Jewish laws while Eliza would walk by and smack my head to try and get me to stop. She was a Catholic."

"Ah," John acknowledged.

"I wasn't really around," Alex admitted, willing his voice not to crack. "I was deployed a lot, and that was mostly my fault. I mean, I begged them to send me somewhere, anywhere. Whenever my deployment came to an end, I'd try to fuck up so it would get extended, but they knew that I wanted to stay, so they sent me home as punishment." Alex cleared his throat, looking at a picture of him holding Francis in one arm with a beer in the other. She was only seven or eight months, and they were at a friends barbecue. "I was home for a total of nine months while she was alive. Three months when she was just under a year, three months when she was two, and three months when she was five."

John didn't know how to feel about the information he was getting. He just didn't understand. He didn't understand how Alex could have a child and want nothing to do with her. He didn't understand how Alex could hold that baby, know that baby was a part of him, and still beg to leave.

"I was a terrible father," Alex admitted, tears pooling in his eyes. "I wasn't even half the dad she deserved. She was such a happy kid, always singing and dancing. She deserved so much better than me. She deserves someone who was there for her. She deserved a father who would've have gotten on his knees and begged to stay home instead of leaving it. She didn't deserve an asshole like me." Alex tilted his head down, closing his eyes as tight as he could to prevent tears from slipping down his cheeks, though it didn't work.

"Alex, sweetie," John whispered quietly, rubbing Alex's back.

Alex wiped his cheeks, looking at John. "It's true. You know it's true. I swear, the only time Jay ever lost his temper with me was because of this." Alex flipped through some photos until he found one of him and Francis. Francis was wearing a fairy princess outfit, smiling brightly at the camera. She was sitting on Alex's knee in a comfortable looking armchair. Alex had on his uniform pants and boots, as well as a grey tee shirt. A beer was in his hand, and he was looking away from the camera, obviously listening to someone talk. Even then, there was a similarity between the two that no one could deny. "I was never there, even when I was there. She was just a kid, and I was snippy at her, I was annoyed and exasperated by her questions. I didn't understand that she was at that age. I didn't understand anything about kids. I didn't bother to try, either."

John sighed, kissing Alex's shoulder.

"I didn't love her like I should've," Alex choked out, more tears slipping down his cheeks. "I should've dropped everything and been there for her. I should've been her dad and treasured every moment about her. I should've bonded, should've been there for her birth. I should've done better at protecting her from Eliza's psychotic episodes. I shouldn't have just shipped her off to Eliza's parents whenever Eliza was being mental. John, this girl deserved the world and I didn't even bother trying to give it to her. I was an awful parent, and I was an even worse person." Alex wiped his cheeks as a sob broke through his chest. "I could've done more."

"Alex, honey, shh, it's okay," John whispered lightly, hugging Alex and rocking him a bit. Alex sobbed against John, gripping the younger man's shirt. John gently kissed the top of Alex's head, trying to calm him down. After a few minutes, Alex took some deep breaths and sat up again, wiping his cheeks off and staring at the pictures.

"She was diagnosed with leukemia while I was in Afghanistan," Alex croaked. "This was when Jay lost his temper with me. I walked into the dining hall and sat down after a phone call with Eliza where she told me what was going on. It was stage three, and it had spread to half of her body."

"Oh, God," John mumbled.

"I walked in, and I sat down, and I told everyone what was going on," Alex continued. "A lot of them asked me if I needed to request to go home, and I just, I said no. I said it was fine, and I said I could let Eliza handle it." Alex let out a bitter chuckle. "Jay was not a violent person, he really wasn't, not when he didn't need to be, so I really didn't expect him pulling me out of my chair and slamming me against the wall. He was fucking pissed. I swear to God, I thought he was going to punch me or something."

"Shit," John mumbled.

"He had a right to, though," Alex pointed out. "He told me to grow the fuck up. He told me to put my shit aside and put my daughter before myself for once in my life. He was angry, really angry. I'm glad he was because I did go back. I went back and stayed in the hospital with my daughter until I couldn't anymore. I had to go back at one point, and I thought, I thought a three-month deployment would be okay. I thought I'd come back, and she'd be there."

"Oh no," John whispered quietly.

Alex gripped his chest, trying to ease the feeling of heartbreak. "She was only five. She died two weeks after I left. Two weeks, John. I could've been there for her. I could've held her hand and told her I loved her one last time. I feel like it was my fault. I feel like I left and she stopped trying because she thought her dad didn't care about her anymore or something. I left and she gave up. I still cared about her. I was going to be back. I wasn't leaving forever. I want her back, John. I want to tell her I love her. I want to apologize and tell her that I wasn't good enough for her. I want to be better for her."

"Oh, Alex, dear, shh, I'm here, it's okay, it's okay," John whispered softly, running his fingers through Alex's hair. "Deep breaths, deep breaths."

"She was my _daughter_ and I couldn't be bothered to stick around for her _death_ ," Alex cried.

"Oh, honey, shh," John murmured. "She knows you loved her. She knows you cared about her. She didn’t give up because you left, I promise. Her cancer was already stage three, it was not your fault. You had no control over it, and neither did she." John sighed. "Alex, you didn't know what to do, you were in a bad situation, and I'm guessing you weren't exactly in the best place mentally, either. You could’ve done better, I know. Kids come with a lot of emotions, and it's hard to be able to process them sometimes. You’re not a bad person for your mistakes, and wherever she is, I know she understands."

"Everyone I've ever loved has died," Alex cried. "My mom, my daughter, my Jay."

"Shh, shh, it's gonna be okay," John assured. "I'm not leaving you. You can cry all you want, and I'll be here to hold you. I'm right here, Alexander."

Alex sniffled, curling up on the couch a bit more, snuggling into John's chest. "Thank you." Alex paused, sighing. "When my daughter died, I had no one. I just, I pushed everyone away. I was so clouded with hate and guilt and anger. I was angry at Eliza, myself, the people around me, the world. I hurt the people who cared about me the most, and then after I left the military? I drank, and I drank, and then I vomited, and then I drank more. I had never had a problem, but suddenly, I was spending my severance package on Jack Daniels and Smirnoff." Alex sat up, wiping his tears from his cheeks. "I've never really told anyone any of this. I went to therapy for two years, and my therapist didn't even know I had a daughter."

John gently kissed Alex's head to let him know that he was still listening.

"I just, I feel so guilty all the time, I feel like I don't deserve you, or Phillip, or anyone in my life. I mean, what have I ever done for them?" Alex asked.

"Hey, Alex, you do," John insisted. "I know you do. You do so much for people, you don't even see it. Even when you didn't agree with Thomas, you were still his friend because you cared about him. You've been there for Lafayette since day one, even when he felt like a bit of a black sheep. You were with Aaron's wife when she was giving birth, and you let the woman break your hand. You've given nothing but respect and love to Washington, and he often refers to you as his best employee and best soldier." John paused, kissing Alex's head. "Alex, I could be homeless right now if it weren't for you. You saved Phillip and me from a lot of bad things, and I can't ever pay you back for that."

"I just want to be good enough for them, for you," Alex mumbled.

"And you are," John told him. "I'm not going anywhere, and neither is anyone else. I adore you, Alexander."

Alex sniffled, wiping his cheeks. "I'm sorry, I'm having like, a whole mental breakdown. I'm sure this is not how you thought this would be going."

"I figured something would happen if we're reliving your war memories," John shrugged, gently pushing some hair out of Alex's face.

"Oh, man, and these were just the good ones," Alex laughed. The older man hummed as he leaned against John. "Come on, I need some water, and those guys are probably wondering if they can come back up."

"I'm guessing both Washington and Thomas have a basic idea of what happened?" John asked as they both stood up.

Alex nodded. "Yeah. They do. Do you, do you not like me as much now that you know what a terrible person I am?"

John sighed, pulling Alex into a hug. "You're not a terrible person. People make mistakes, and they learn from those mistakes. Both of us are far from perfect, but that does not make us bad. I don't think any less of you, Alex."

"But you should," Alex mumbled, hugging John tighter.

"But I don't."

"But you _should_."

John took Alex's face in his hands. "But I _don't_ . Alex, I am not just dating your virtues. I am not just dating your amazing guitar skills and kindness, I'm dating _you_. I'm dating your vices, your issues, everything. I like being with you, and even if you have made mistakes in the past, that does not mean I don't want to be with you anymore, because those were in the past. We’ve all done things we regret, myself included, but I’m with you, all of you, and I'm not going anywhere."

Alex sighed, leaning up and kissing John. "Thank you. Thank you."

John kissed back, relishing in the sweet taste on Alex's lips. "I adore you, Alexander Hamilton."

"I adore you too, my dearest, Jonathan Laurens," Alex sighed. "Come on, I'm about to get a headache, and I'm sure those guys wanna come back up." Alex took John's hand as they walked down the stairs. "They're all really understanding about this, and I'm really glad I got the chance to tell you. I just felt like I wasn't being honest with you."

That hit John right in the heart. Alex had given so much, in return for nothing. John felt bad, _really_ bad, but for now, he was just going to smile and nod along. He liked Alex, and he wanted to be with Alex, he just didn't feel ready to let down some of his walls yet. Maybe Alex could understand that. Maybe this was normal. Maybe some people didn't open up at the same rates as others, or maybe John was just being a pussy.

"Hey, Alex," Thomas smiled as they walked into the kitchen.

"Hey man," Alex replied, accepting the bro hug Thomas was offering. It was easily passed off as just a dude thing, but everyone knew it was Thomas' way of offering emotionally support, even when it was obvious.

"We're gonna head out soon, but I wouldn't be opposed to going through a few more pictures," Alex suggested, smiling as he leaned against John's chest, letting John wrap his arms around him.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Washington asked.

"Hold on, I need to get some water. G Wash, where're your pain killers?" Alx asked, grabbing a cup.

"Here you go," Washington stated, tossing a bottle to Alex. Alex dumped two pills into the water, letting them dissolve as they all walked back upstairs. Alex leaned against John, seeming a bit more clingy, but it wasn't a bother. John kept running his fingers over Alex's knee, listening to stories. Thomas started crying at one point, and it was odd to see the man so, _human_. John found himself feeling empathetic towards Thomas as the older man wiped his cheeks and rested his forehead against James' shoulder.

Eventually, they all got tired and emotionally exhausted, so Thomas and Alex collected their boxes, Washington called Martha to let her know that she and the kids could come back, and John and Alex left. Alex was driving, and John was a little confused when he pulled into a flower shop, parking taking the key out of the ignition.

"Jay is buried in Forte Green cemetery," Alex started. "And I've never been to visit. Could we make a trip to Brooklyn?"

John nodded. "Of course."

"I wanna get some flowers first since that's what people do when they go to a graveyard," Alex mumbled.

"Alright," John agreed. They both got out of the car, and Alex instantly grabbed John's hand, holding it firmly as they walked into the flower shop. John felt as though he should let Alex lead the way since it would seem rude and intrusive to butt into something like this. John just wanted to let Alex find his way, figure it out.

"He liked yellow flowers," Alex mumbled, walking around the sweet-smelling shop. "He always said that yellow flowers looked the best, no matter where they were. His favorite were sunflowers, but he also liked buttercups and daisies."

John smiled, running his thumb over Alex's as he listened to him talk. "He sounds wonderful, Alexander."

Alex nodded. "He was, he was the best." Alex smiled at a bouquet of buttercups and baby's breath flowers, picking them up. "This'll work."

They both went to the counter and Alex paid, then they got back into the car and Alex began driving. It was quiet for a little bit, just the sound of the radio playing, and then Alex sighed, handing John his phone.

"I need you to text Thomas and ask him where Jay's grave is. I've never really been," Alex admitted. "My password is one, twenty-two, thirteen."

John paused, then looked at Alex. "That's Phillip's birthday."

Alex shrugged. "I needed a new password to my phone since I have to change it every three months or so, just for privacy reasons. I just figured Phillip's birthday would be a good one because it's pretty random and would be hard to guess."

John smiled, then typed in the password, cringing at the red notifications that had triple digit numbers in them. John couldn't _stand_ having the little red bubble. He didn't know what it was about it, but he hated it. Since he had a new phone, thanks to Alex, he could finally have things like Snapchat and Tumblr and take good quality photos, but he needed to always have his screen clear of the red bubbles.

"You need to check your messages," John commented as he texted Thomas. "And Email, and everything else. The Duolingo owl wants you to practice your English."

"My English is perfectly fine," Alex grumbled. "You know, out of the three languages I know, English was the hardest. I'm telling you, John, it's a fuck ass language. French is manageable if you ignore the monstrous amount of vowels they use, Spanish is by far the best, but English is just, is mouth trash! It's like gargling marbles but the marbles are razors and you're bleeding and everyone is screaming and then the world blows up."

"I don't understand why we should speak at all. Sign language is all we need," John chuckled. "I mean, it's really the only way I communicated at home. At school, I would say all this shit in sign language, and if the one other student in the school who knew sign language was around, they would lose it."

"That's the best thing about having a language barrier between the people you hate!" Alex laughed. "You can talk all the shit you want and they don't even know! I can't tell you the number of things I've muttered under my breath in French or Spanish. Lafayette once heard me call John Adams a pig-headed bigot with the IQ of our president, and he fucking lost it. He had to step out of the meeting for a few seconds to calm down. Don't you know Spanish?"

"Eh," John mumbled. "I took a couple of classes in high school, I could survive if I needed to speak slowly Spanish, but the only language I'm really fluent in is ASL. Spanish was your first language, yeah?"

"Yes, it was," Alex nodded. "I started learning French before my mom died because she wanted me to learn it, and then when she died, I continued learning it, and then I had to start learning English since I was moving to America. I have a knack for languages, and since I like to write so much, it was easy to start writing in other languages. Granted, I never got the hang of Hebrew, but that's because I wasn't really that devoted to it, or the Jewish religion." Alex chuckled. “Jefferson helped me perfect English in the army, and Washington gave me a Spanish to English translator in case I forgot words. How'd you learn ASL?"

"Well, my brother Henry was born, and he was deaf, so my mom told me I should probably learn a little bit of ASL, just to be able to talk to him, but since I'm the coolest big brother I know, I got really fluent in it, really quickly. I was studying it at school, and I found ways to incorporate it into dance so I could do both. Eventually, I was signing the lyrics to songs while I danced to them. It got me in trouble with my dance teacher a couple of times, but in the end, she did think it was nice that I was learning for my brother."

Alex smiled, reaching over and grabbing John's hand. "You're really too sweet for me."

John kissed Alex's knuckles, letting his lips linger. "I think we're just right."

"Yeah," Alex laughed. "I'm your bitter coffee and you're my sugar and creamer."

John rolled his eyes, staring out as they crossed the Brooklyn bridge. "You know, I've lived here since I was eighteen, and I don't think I've ever actually been across the Brooklyn bridge. I don't know why, I just, I've never simultaneously had a car and wanted to go across the Brooklyn Bridge."

"Do you think we ever saw each other?" Alex mumbled. "Like, before we knew each other, do you think we ever passed each other on the street?"

"I did flip you off at one of your public debates," John admitted.

"Wow!" Alex laughed. "Did you not like me or something?"

John chuckled. "I thought you were a centrist hothead who thought of politics as a game."

"Do you still think of me like that?" Alex teased.

"No, now I think you're a democratic hothead who takes politics seriously," John laughed. "But no, we probably saw each other a couple of times before we formally met. I mean, it's not unlikely."

Alex paused, then smiled. "Would you go on a road trip with me around New York? I mean, when I run for governor, I'm gonna do some serious campaigning, and I wanna go around the state over the summer and try to get some votes. You and Phillip could come. It would be really nice, actually."

"That's in almost three years," John pointed out.

"So?" Alex mused.

"So you see me in your life three years from now?" John continued.

"Maybe I do," Alex chuckled, leaning back.

John smiled, squeezing Alex's hand tighter and willing himself not to duck and roll out of the car. Being with someone is fine. Being with someone emotionally is fine. Those thoughts ran through John's brain as he focused on the feeling of Alex's rough and calloused hand in his. John had done that before, multiple times. Granted, they all sucked, but maybe Alex wasn't like that. Every dude had been 'not like that' though, but John always had a backup plan. He always had men he knew he could sweet talk. John needed a safety net, something to fall back on. It had nothing to do with the people he was dating, it was more his own thing, and most of the time, he's needed it.

The arrived at the cemetery, and Alex parked the car but didn't show any sign of getting out, just stared at his hands on the wheel. John gently reached over and rubbed Alex's shoulder, offering a small smile. Alex offered a small, sad smile and then got out of the car, silently requesting for John to come with him. John got out too, holding the flowers, and leaned against the hood of Alex's car as he figured out where to go.

"Okay, Thomas said it was on the corner of Cypress and Vine Avenue," Alex announced. "I swear, leave it to Jay to formally request to be buried in the biggest graveyard in the fucking world. He just wanted to punish me for not coming to his funeral."

"The biggest graveyard in the world is actually in Iraq, in The Valley Of Peace," John commented as they began walking. I did a whole history project on it when I was in high school."

"Oh?" Alex chuckled.

"It's fifteen hundred acres and contains five million bodies. It's called Wadi-us-Salaam, and is full of catacombs, which is kinda terrifying if you think about it," John continued. "Have you ever read the poem by Edgar Allan Poe about like, trapping someone in a catacomb or something? I'm totally blanking on the name, but if you've read it, you'll know."

"The Cask Of Amontillado," Alex chuckled. "Yes, yes, I've read that poem."

John chuckled, leaning against Alex a bit as they walked. "I first read it in middle school, and it terrified me. I got like, nightmares about it."

"Aww," Alex laughed. "Baby John got nightmares?"

"Shut up!" John pouted. "It was scary!"

Alex smiled and planted a kiss on John's shoulder. "I'm sure it was, Darling."

The walk was almost a mile, but the two filled it with a short conversation about anything they could think of. John let Alex talk more of the time, not wanting to upset him, but still stayed very engaged with what Alex was saying, even if it was totally beyond John's area of expertise. Alex didn't seem to mind at all when John asked questions, even if they were just about the definition of a word. Finally, they arrived at the corner of Cypress and Vine, and Alex sighed, looking around.

"Alright, we're looking for Jameson Church Bower," Alex sighed, looking around.

John peered at the headstones, looking for the mentioned name. He found the gravestone quickly when Alex was looking in the complete opposite direction. Jameson Church Bower. 1982-2009. Soldier, brother, son. Loved by many, adored by one. The worlds burned into John's brain, and for some reason, it made him want to cry. This was Alex's best friend, and he was dead. John can't even imagine the hurt that Alexander felt.

"Hey, I found it," John called out softly.

"Oh," Alex mumbled, coming and standing next to John. Alex took John's hand, and they stepped forward, past a few other graves, until they were standing right there. The grave was seemingly littered with dried flowers, even over the snow. A rose in a fist was painted on the gravestone, and John recognized it as the symbol for socialism. Alex sat down in front of it, not paying mind to the cold and wet snow.

John sat down next to Alex, taking his hand. Alex sighed heavily and leaned against John, staring at the marble stone. Ten years. It took him ten years to muster up the courage to come here. He felt like it was too little, too late, but he unwrapped the flowers, setting them down in front of his grave. He felt shaky, ready to cry. 'Adored by one.' Alex hated that. He hated that it's what the headstone said. It felt like a reminder that he fucked up, and so badly. Alex wanted to dig Jay up, bring him back to life, and yell at him for the stupid fuck ass thing he did. Alex wanted to hit him and yell at him and tell him just how much he did hurt. More than all of that though, he just wanted to feel the man's arms around him. He just wanted to prove to Jay that he was adored.

"I loved him," Alex admitted.

John slowly looked over, squeezing Alex's hand and signaling for him to continue.

"When we retired from the army, we were going to move in together," Alex continued. "We were both so young and stupid in love. I was going to leave Eliza, we were going to move in together, get married. We were gonna be one of those stupid Hallmark movies, getting into fucking, like, ketchup fights, taking bubble baths. You know? That stupid shit they advertise. We loved each other."

John gently leaned his head against Alex's shoulder, trying to offer comfort.

"That's not even the worst part," Alex laughed, his voice cracking. "We were fighting when he died. We had gotten into some, some huge fucking argument a week before, and we were both so mad and hurt, and then we went out on patrol. Taliban saw us, and they started shooting. I don't know what happened. One moment, he was next to me, shooting back, and then he was the ground, bleeding. One of the men on patrol threw a grenade and scared them off, and we didn't have a medic, we didn't have anything. Jay, he, he knew he was going to die. He told me he loved me one last time, he told me he'd see me on the other side. He pushed his ring into my hand, which just had his first deployment dates carved into it, and he told me to keep it. I was, I was convinced he'd make it through."

"Alex," John whispered softly.

"God, I'm crying so much today," Alex laughed, sniffling and wiping his cheeks. "No, uh, I carried him three miles back to camp. He was dead before I even got fifteen feet, but I carried him back to camp, not caring what anyone said. I got there, and I just, I begged for a medic, but he was just, he was dead, John. They couldn't do anything. I was so angry and so, so sad. I just, I wanted to bring him back. I did CPR on him for about two hours. I didn't stop. I didn't listen to reason. Washington didn't have anyone stop me, and eventually, I just passed out. Exhaustion, dehydration, I don't know. I woke up in the med tent, hooked up to an IV. It was, it was awful. I was depressed. I had lost my daughter barely four months earlier, and then I lost him, and I just, I didn't want to be alive anymore."

John squeezed Alex's hand tighter.

"I didn't," Alex repeated. "I got reckless, angry. I got really close to just, like, beating the shit out of Thomas because he was trying to help me. God." Alex paused. "I just, I should've been kicked out, I really should have, but the army was probably the only thing keeping me from taking a gun to my head at that moment." Alex wiped his cheeks. "I'm sorry, you've had to deal with so much shit today. Sorry for all this emotional vomit. I swear, I'm not usually like this."

"There's nothing wrong with being sad," John mumbled. "If you never got sad, I don't think I'd believe you were human."

Alex smiled. "He would've loved you. He would've met you and Phillip and just, he would've fallen head over heels for the two of you."

"Oh, I don't about that," John chuckled.

"He would've," Alex insisted. "Sometimes I think he probably would've left me for you."

John chuckled, kissing Alex's hand. "Do you think he would be happy that we're together?"

"Are you kidding me?" Alex laughed. "Dude's probably watching us right now, cheering that I found myself a mentally stable arts major socialist with a kid and nice hair. I swear, he really wanted me to end up with someone who was fucking sane, even if it wasn't him."

"He sounds good," John commented.

Alex sighed, turning to John and planting a small kiss on his cheek. "He was. Like you."

John smiled, wrapping his arm around Alex's waist and pulling him closer. "And you."

The two stayed for a while longer, Alex occasional mentioning small things about Jay, but nothing too heavy. John figured there wasn't much more heavy stuff about Jay, but he wasn't gonna commit to that idea. Eventually, Alex leaned forward and kissed the headstone, then stood up, waiting for John, and then walking away. John was driving this time since Alex requested it softly. John, who was a very good driver, agreed and began driving. He felt bad though because Alex looked so sad. John could tell Alex was much sadder than he was letting on, and five years of parenting had taught him how to very easily cheer someone up.

"What are you doing?" Alex asked as John pulled up to a bodega, parking on the side of the street.

"Wait here for me, Darling?" John requested. "I'll be right back, I promise."

"Alright," Alex smiled.

John hopped out of the car, humming a song as he made his way into the little bodega. There were a few things he knew about New York. Firstly, never look down at your phone for more than two seconds while standing in the middle of the street or sidewalk, because people will push you and curse at you. Secondly, every bodega had a weird assortment of items, but always had the one you were looking for. Tampons and whiskey at four am? The have it. A sappy romance novel and a package of white tee shirts? You can count on your local bodega.

John stepped inside and went straight for the junk food aisle, picking out a package of Hostess coffee cake. He then went to an isle on a hunch and grabbed some candles, then a lighter from the front counter. John paid, then walked back out to the car.

"Oh, Lord John, what are you doing?" Alex groaned when he saw the items in John's hands. "You really didn't have to."

"It is your birthday," Johns stated. "And to my knowledge, you have not had cake."

Alex chuckled. "Well, this is new."

John stuck two candles in the coffee cake, then lit them. "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Alexander. Happy birthday, to you." John waited impatiently for Alex to blow out the candles. "Come on, blow them out and make a wish."

"Why would I need to make a wish when I have everything I need right here?" Alex mumbled softly.

John's eyebrows raised at this statement, and he suddenly felt very flustered. Alex blew the candles out and moved the cake to the dashboard, the climbed over on John's lap, bringing him in for a kiss. John kissed back, letting Alex pull his hair out from a bun. The kiss was sweet and sensual, and it felt more like a thank you than anything else. Alex's thumb brushed over the small bit of hair on John's chin, while John slipped his hands under Alex's shirt and carefully ran his fingers across the smooth skin of Alex's back.

Alex pulled away first, but gently rested his forehead against John's, sighing as he curled bits of the man's hair in his fingers. John just wanted to hold Alex like this forever. He didn't mind the way Alex's beard rubbed against his chip and upper lip when they kissed. He didn't mind how Alex's hair would tickle his nose. He didn't mind the quiet creaking from the ankle joint in Alex's prosthetic leg as he adjusted himself a bit. He was content with how everything was in that moment, and if he could've stopped time, he would've. Unfortunately, he couldn't, and Alex eventually sighed, crawling back into the passenger seat, leaving John to start the car and begin driving.

"Thank you, for today. I know it probably wasn't the most fun thing to see your boyfriend break down in tears multiple times, but it really means a lot of me that you came and let me talk and didn't get mad when I told you Jay and I were together, and you just, you were there for me today, John. Thank you," Alex mumbled.

"I'm here for you, Alex," John reminded. "You don't have to keep thanking me."

"I know, I know," Alex replied, chuckling. "Just, when I was in therapy, my therapist told me that I had a problem with appreciating people's sacrifices for me, and I guess I've gotten too good at it. I just feel guilty if I don't."

"You know what?" John started. "I don't want you feeling guilty. If you need to thank me a hundred times to feel okay, then go ahead. It's okay."

"Thank you," Alex sighed.

"Would you ever go back?" John asked. "To therapy, would you ever go back?"

Alex shrugged. "I mean, I probably should. I dunno. I took a break because I was campaigning, and then I was just, I was busy, and I didn't really have time to go back. I do now though. I dunno, you think it would be worth it?"

John nodded. "I think therapy is very good for people. I mean, I would like to do everything I can for you, but I only have half a dance major. I'm pretty sure a full psychology major would do you a hell of a lot better."

Alex nodded. "I don't expect you to fix whatever issues I have. I don't want you to feel like that, and I don't want to put that pressure on you."

"I know, but if you ever just need to cry or talk about something or whatever, don't feel like you have to hide it from me. I'll listen, and I'll hold onto you while you cry. I care about you, Alexander, and I don't want you to feel alone," John told him.

Alex sighed, happily. "You are too good."

The two of them made it home, picking up Phillip on the way. John made dinner, chicken noodle soup with a grilled cheese and apple sandwiches, which were much better than Alex had expected. John had then explained that his college friend was in culinary school and taught him a few things.

Eventually, things calmed down. Phillip got tired, so did Alex. Eventually, John carried Phillip upstairs, then made his way into Alex's room while Alex got his meds. John changed into a pair of sweatpants, then laid down on the bed, burying his face into a pillow. He was tired. No, tired wasn't the right word for it. He was relaxed, at ease. There had been a few times in his life where John had felt at ease. Intense school life and an even intenser home life, a college career full of drinking, trying to keep his kid safe in sketchy neighborhoods, they had all left John with very few chances to relax, to be at ease. Right now, though, as John laid in Alex's bed, breathing in the scent of his boyfriend on the pillow cases, he felt good.

"Mmf," Alex mumbled, falling on top of John and planting light kisses on the man's shoulder blade. John sighed as Alex kissed across his back, wiggling his butt a little so he could hear Alex's breathy moans. John felt shivers in his bones as Alex kissed down his back. Alex's hands gently fondled John's ass, and kissed the scarce amount of freckles on John's lower back. Alex's lips were soft, and John found himself growing hard at the actions of the older man. John's stomach seemed to blossom with heat as Alex pulled down his sweatpants and began kissing his lower onto the curved bubble butt. Alex was freaking out on the inside, finally being able to caress those perfect dimples as he admired the area, by action instead of word.

"Mm, Alex," John mumbled as Alex began sucking a small hickey into the tanned and freckled skin.

"John, this is going to be a weird question," Alex started. "But can I eat your ass?"

John paused, looking over his shoulder. "You're not the top in this relationship."

Alex chuckled. "Don't worry hon, I know that. I just..." Alex trailed off, looking down at John's ass. "I've wanted to bury my face in this thing since I saw it."

John's face heated up and he found himself gnawing on his lip. "I knew you were staring at it when we first met. You were shameless."

"Fuck, I was," Alex agreed.

"And look at you now," John teased. "So desperate, so needy. You wanna eat my ass, baby? Is that what you want?"

"Yes, please," Alex moaned out, nuzzling his cheek against John's skin.

John moved his hips up a bit so Alex could get a better opening. "Then do it."

Alex dipped his head down, gently licking over John. The sensation was new to the John since really, he had never got his ass eaten. No one had really done more to his ass than a squeeze during sex. John knew he had a nice ass. He worked hard for it, and even though he would never tell another living soul this, it felt good to get some appreciation.

"Ah," John moaned out as Alex began to palm his balls gently. "Oh, Lex, oh, fuck. Wait, fuck, hold on, wow. Oh, wow, holy, fuck."

Alex looked up. "Are you good?"

"That feels good," John mumbled. "No one's ever, no one's ever done this before and it feels, it feels great! Holy fuck, fuck, please don't stop. Please, please."

Alex smiled, pulling John's hips up a little more. His tongue seemed to work wonders, and John was going crazy. This was not just enough to make him cum alone, but he was definitely enjoying it. John loved the feeling of Alex's hands running over his thighs, then down to his dick. John felt like he was in heaven. Alex's hands were oh so sweet, and his mouth was even better. If this became a habit, John definitely wouldn't complain.

"Fuck," John murmured, gripping the sheets as Alex's tongue worked wonders.

"Mm, baby, roll over," Alex requested.

John rolled onto his back and Alex began sucking him off. The sound of gagging filled the room as John fucked Alex's face, pushing down his throat much more than Alex could really take. Alex had to pull himself off and take deep breaths, trying to calm his gag reflex.

"Mm, you good?" John asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I am, just needed a second," Alex assured.

John smiled as Alex went back down, hollowing his cheeks and bobbing his head. John took the hint and wasn't as rough with Alex, but still kept a firm grip on his hair. The older man hummed and John arched his back, holding back a euphoric moan. John hadn’t really seen himself dating again before he met Alex, but Alex was great, and the sex life was too.

"Fuck, Alex, I'm gonna come," John mumbled.

Alex pushed his head as far down as he could on John, then kept bobbing faster. John's thighs were shaking, his hips jutting up. John ended up shoving Alex's head as far down as it could go as he came. Alex ignored his gag reflex, trying to just focus on swallowing around John as the younger man rode out his high. John's hips almost started cramping from the awkward position they were in, and his legs shook as he came down Alex's throat. It was hot, especially when he pulled Alex off his cock to see spit and precome dripping down his chin.

"Such a messy boy," John mumbled, wiping Alex's chin with his thumb. "C'mere and gimme a kiss, baby."

Alex climbed on top of John, bringing his lips down for a sultry and sweet kiss. John could feel Alex's dick against his v line, and he figured that by now, his boxers had a wet spot in them. John knew that he wasn't going to be able to sleep if he just left Alex like this, so he flipped the two of them over, grinding down on Alex to offer some relief to the older man.

"John, oh, God, pease," Alex mumbled as John began to kiss his neck. "Please, please, fuck."

"Mm, you like that, huh? You like that, slut?" John pulled away to make eye contact with Alex, looking for signs of discomfort.

"Uh huh," Alex nodded, staring up at John through hooded eyelids.

Alright, so dirty talk was on the table.

"I bet you do, fucking whore," John scoffed, kissing down Alex's neck again. "I bet you like it when I touch your cock, when I touch you. You're such a little skank for my dick, aren't you? Say it."

"I am, I am," Alex agreed. "Fuck, John, please, please touch me."

"What's that?" John mused. "You want me to touch you?"

Alex nodded, whining.

John held two fingers to Alex's mouth. "Suck, you fucking whore."

While Alex did that, John slipped off his boyfriend's sweatpants, spreading his legs a bit more before pulling his fingers out of Alex's mouth and pushing them into Alex. The man moaned, his nails digging into John's back as the young man fingered him. It had been so long since someone had fingered Alex, and he was loving it. The last time this happened, Angelica was in town, and it was in a two star motel on the bad side of town.

"Fuck," Alex mumbled as John began to jerk him off.

"You're so tight, shit," John whispered in Alex's ear. "I can wait to shove my cock into your pretty little ass and fill it up with my come." John brushed over Alex's prostate, bringing a moan from the man below him. "Found it," John sang, smiling proudly to himself. "Fuck, you're gonna look so good sitting on my cock, screaming my name. I can't wait to sit you on my lap like the little cock warmer you are."

"John," Alex gasped, scratching down his back. "Faster, please, please, I'm gonna-" Alex cut himself off with a moan as John sped up. The older man didn't know what to make of the feelings in his body. He felt like there were sparklers being lit off everywhere, and John's sultry words mixed with the country accent wasn't doing any favors.

"Come for me, whore," John commanded.

That did it. Alex was biting down on John's shoulder to stay quiet as he came, spurts coming out onto his stomach. His legs tightened their grip around John's hips and a tear slipped from his eye. For a moment, all he could see was white, and then his vision came back. John came back into focus, curly hair draped over his shoulder.

"Wow," Alex whispered.

John chuckled and leaned down, gently kissing Alex's lips. "Happy birthday."

Alex sighed, running his hand across John's cheek. "Come on, we’ve got work tomorrow, and my Ambien is starting to kick in. Hand me a shirt or something so I can change."

John stood up, pulling up his sweatpants and handing Alex a clean shirt. Alex changed, then took off his leg, sighing and laying down. John laid down next to him, taking the older man in his arms and running fingers through his straight dark brown hair.

"I adore you," John mumbled, stroking Alex's hair.

"You know, out of all the people I've been with, you are only the second person to like, be affectionate with me after stuff like that," Alex stated. "It's... nice."

John smiled, kissing Alex's forehead. "Well, anyone who didn't is stupid, because you, Alexander Hamilton, are warm and soft and comfortable to hold, and you smell really nice."

Alex laughed, tilting his head up and pecking John's lips. "You smell good too."

John brushed a little hair away from Alex's face, sighing softly as he stared into those deep brown eyes. "You are a wonderful person, Alexander. Don't you ever forget that. No matter what, you are good, and for that reason, I will always adore you." John sighed, kissing Alex's forehead. "God, you're really a stunning son of a bitch."

Alex laughed, closing his eyes and nuzzling into John a little more. "You are certainly something, Jonathan Laurens. Tomorrow, after work, let's get Phillip and go see a movie. Something good should be out, so it'll be nice."

"Sounds good," John agreed. "Good night, Alexander. I adore you."

Alex sighed, planting a small kiss on John's jaw and pulling the blanket over him a bit more. "Goodnight, John. I adore you too."

  



	14. Your son is six years old today, and Martha has something she would like to say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired

"Mr. Hamilton? You got a package," the receptionist said, walking into Alex's office. It was getting close to the end of his workday, and he still had to go out and buy a bunch of things for Phillip's birthday, so he didn’t exactly have time to open a package that most likely just held campaign stuff that he’d ordered early.

"Thanks, Chelsea, just leave it on my desk. It's probably just my campaigning stuff," Alex muttered, not looking up from his computer.

"Unless your campaigning stuff was ordered from Nevis and, well, terribly packaged, I'd have to disagree with you on that," Chelsea laughed. "It's from James Hamilton Jr. Is he family?"

Alex looked up. "So the bastard did send that shit up." Alex stood up, taking the box from Chelsea. "Thank you, dear."

Chelsea giggled and left, offering a flirty wave to Alexander as she walked away. Alexander tossed the box on his office couch so he wouldn't forget it, then sat back down at his desk, rubbing his eyes as he poured over the final draft of the budget plan. His eyes were hurting, and his head was pounding, but he finally clicked send, distributing it to the rest of the budget department so they could put the plan into effect. Alex had somehow snuck another two billion dollars for the school systems, and was definitely expecting to be yelled out by someone for it, so instead of stressing over that, he got up and went to Thomas' office, sighing and leaning against the door.

"Hey, bitch face," Alex mumbled. "The court out back is clear."

"Fuck, yeah, that sounds great right now, actually. It's cold out, but the cold hasn't bothered me in years," Thomas mumbled, standing up. "Let me change real quick, and I’ll be right out."

"Perfect," Alex smiled, walking out of Thomas' office. He walked back into his own and closed the door, making sure no one could see in, then grabbed a bag of clothes from a drawer in his desk. He and Thomas had a very odd tradition. When work got too hard, or boring, or whatever other adjective they used, they would get changed out of their work clothes, go out back, and play basketball on the courts. The whole gang used to play: Aaron, Angelica, Thomas, Alexander, and Jay. Then Jay died, Aaron stayed in the army, and Angelica never came up to visit , so it was just Alex and Thomas playing.

They were quiet for a little bit, Thomas having some upper hand on Alex thanks to the height, and the forty-degree temperature wasn't as bad as they began sweating. Both had their hair tied up, and both knew they'd probably be out here until work ended.

"Phillip's birthday is tomorrow," Alex commented, stealing the ball from Thomas and dribbling it just out of reach for the taller man.

"Yeah, John invited James and Payne over and even extended the invitation. Is it just me, or does he not like me very much?" Thomas asked aloud.

"It's not that he doesn't like you," Alex started. "I just think he has a little trouble seeing why you and I are still friends even though our political views clash sometimes."

"Probably because I saved your life," Thomas shrugged.

Alex laughed, knocking Thomas' shoulders as he passed him and shot, making it in barely. "He's coming around. He's just, defensive. I think it's mostly because you voted to repeal that bill."

"I’m trying to help," Thomas sighed, taking the ball from Alex and dripping slowly to the other side of the court.

"I know, and so does he," Alex assured him. "Look, dude, I take the phrase 'bros before hoes' seriously, and I'm not gonna stop talking to you because he doesn't like you all that much. Just, give him time. He didn't like me at first. Don't think you're alone in this, because the first conversation we ever had, he cursed at me and was one hundred percent done with my shit, and I didn’t even know him, so I think that might be just the way John is."

Thomas laughed, they looked over at Alex. "Has he asked about the scars yet?"

Alex shook his head. "No."

"What are you gonna tell him when he does?" Thomas asked, pulling the ball just out of Alex's reach before he could grab it.

"I'll just tell them it's from when Eliza and I were together, because, I mean, that's the truth," Alex stated.

"You could just tell him your ex-wife was seriously physically abusive towards you, because that's also the truth," Thomas suggested.

Alex scoffed, stealing the ball. "She wasn't abusive, Thomas. How many times do we have to have this conversation? She was just crazy mixed with anger issues."

Thomas rolled his eyes. "Alex, she tried to run you over with her car. She'd beat the shit out of you! How can you say that's not abuse?"

"Because it's not like I was helpless," Alex defended, not really taking the conversation seriously. "If I wanted to fight back, I could've. She was a hundred and thirty-five pounds, just barely above five feet. I could've easily kicked her ass. I just didn't. I don't hit women, you know that Thomas. I mean, unless there's consent involved, but other than that, I don't hit women."

"Remember the time you showed up at my house with broken ribs because she hit you with a frying pan?" Thomas pressed.

"First of all, it was a pot. Second of all, she did find out I cheated on her like, fifty times while I was overseas, so I’m thinking there was blame to be shared. Look, Thomas, the bitch was scary, I'll give you that, but I was fine,” Alex deadpanned.

"You once came over with a knife in your arm!" Thomas exclaimed. "We had to call Aaron, and he had to give you stitches."

Alex groaned, shooting the ball. "Why is this suddenly so important? You go months without talking about it, and suddenly it's the biggest deal in the world. What do you want me to do? Call her up and say 'hey Eliza, remember the time you tried to waterboard me fifteen years ago? Well, I've decided to take you to court for it.' Like that would work, Thomas."

"She tried to waterboard you?" Thomas asked.

"It's a long story," Alex sighed. "Look, my point is, there's literally nothing I can do. In three years, I'm going to run for governor, and you know what? I don't want to still be dealing with legal fees and shit like that. I'm in a happy relationship, and I haven't even _seen_ Eliza in years. Why is this such a big deal to you, Thomas?"

"Because you need to realize that she was abusive!" Thomas maintained. "Alex, that woman has left lasting marks on you and your relationships! What if John was throwing knives at you during arguments and beating you and constantly belittling you? Would that mean he's just crazy? Or would you finally admit that it's abuse?"

"Hold on, first of all, Eliza has not left lasting effects on me, and second of all, that would be different," Alex negotiated. "John could very easily kick my ass right now. At least with Eliza, I had some control over the situation. That’s like comparing apples and oranges."

"No, Alex, it's not, because both situations would be abusive, and Eliza has _so_ left lasting effects on you, Alex," Thomas scoffed. "The moment someone starts yelling at you, you get so defensive and scared!" Thomas raised his hand like he was going to hit Alex, and Alex flinched so hard that he ended up on the ground, covering his head. Thomas pulled him back up and crossed his arms, letting the ball roll away. "Let's not forget about that."

"Whatever dude," Alex growled, going to get the ball. "I don't see why you're making a big deal out of this. What the fuck do you want me to do? Admit it?"

"Yes!" Thomas gasped.

"Well, there's nothing to admit!" Alex argued. "Just, fuck off. Leave it alone."

"John is going to ask, and he's going to say the same thing I am," Thomas pointed out.

"Yeah, well maybe he's not going to make me think he's about to pop off on me, fuck ass," Alex mumbled. "That wasn't cool."

Thomas sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry. You're right, I shouldn't have done that."

"Thank you," Alex mumbled.

"It just." Thomas paused, groaning. "It pisses me off that you were treated so terribly for so long, and you don't even want to admit how bad it was."

"Because it wasn't that bad," Alex deadpanned. "If it was, no one would have joked about it. No one would've laughed when she hit me. No one would have teased me for the black eyes, and bruises and broken ribs. Thomas, if it was abuse, people would've cared. So, yeah, I don't think it was abuse, because people give a shit about abuse victims, and people just laughed when I said something, so it couldn't have been that bad." Alex voice cracked. "I gotta get going. I still need to pick stuff up for Phillip's birthday. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alex, wait," Thomas protested.

"Bye, Thomas," Alex called out, walking off the court and back inside. He went into his office, changed quickly, then left. He got into his car, resting his head on the steering wheel, and letting out a deep breath through his nose. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his contacts until he found John's name. He pressed on it, then waited for three rings before John picked up.

"Hello, Darling," John greeted.

"Hey," Alex mumbled.

John paused. "Alex, are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I just..." Alexander trailed off, thinking. "I really needed to hear your voice. I'm sorry, are you busy?"

"No, I'm just making Phillip a snack while he watches cartoons. What's going on?" John asked. "You can talk to me about it."

"Just some shit about the ex, you know," Alex mumbled. "Thomas brought it up, and then he went too far with something. I'm just being moody I think, I dunno. Just, feeling blah."

"Did you take your meds this morning?" John asked.

Alex nodded. "I did. God. The only gifts from the lord were you and a divorce with no prenup."

John chuckled. "Hey, it's okay to feel sad. When you come home, how about we just cuddle up on the couch and not go anywhere near the topic of exes, because- believe me- I have no problem with that."

"That sounds really nice," Alex mumbled, smiling. "Should I pick up something for dinner? I'll be at the store anyway, so I can if you want me to."

"Uh, hold on, let me check the fridge," John mumbled. There was a pause, and then some rustling. "Yeah, all we have is little kid food for Pip's birthday party tomorrow. I would kill for a salad. Could you pick up some lettuce while you're at the store? We have almost everything else to make a salad, but we need a base. Uh, I can make Pip a grilled cheese with soup, and what do you want?"

"Salad sounds good, actually," Alex mumbled. "I'll pick that stuff up. I have the list you sent me. Do you need me to pick up any last minute gifts? Beer?"

"You can't drink beer at a child's birthday party," John laughed. "Get vodka."

Alex paused, unsure of whether John was being serious or not.

"Kidding, kidding," John laughed. "No, I think we have everything except for what's on the list. I really appreciate you going out and getting this stuff. Thank you, Alexander."

"It's not a problem, really," Alex replied. "Alright, I gotta get driving. I'll see you at home, right? I should be there in less than two hours."

"Alright, and your friend, Dosia, she's gonna be up tomorrow, right? I'm real excited to meet her," John confirmed.

"She will be, with her daughter," Alex nodded. "I adore you, John Laurens."

"And I, you," John replied. "See you at home, bye."

"Bye," Alex smiled, hanging up. He felt better, so he started his car and left the parking lot. He listened to the radio as he made it to the party supplies store, getting what he needed. Then he went to the grocery store and got some more food, plus the lettuce John asked for, before driving home. He was more than ready to be home, so as he walked through the door with at least fifteen bags in his arms, he seemed to let out a long breath.

"Jesus, Alex, let me help you," John laughed, taking some bags from Alex. "Thank you. I can set up by myself, so you don't need to if you don't want to."

"No, baby, I'll help," Alex insisted.

John sighed dreamily at Alex as he set the groceries down. "God, you are just perfect."

Alex smiled, setting his bags down and kissing John. "Missed you."

John pulled Alex into a tight hug. "You wanna talk about what happened?"

Alex let out a small grunt, pressing his lips to John's neck. "No. Just Thomas being a dickhead. John, if I ever wish to get back together with my ex-wife, I want you to take the AK forty-seven out of the safe and shoot me in the head."

"Yeah, no," John sighed. "How about this; you never get back with your ex-wife, and I never shoot you, yeah?"

"Mm, that works too," Alex smiled. He felt John's grip on him loosen, and he quickly found himself hugging John even tighter. "No, don’t let go yet. Just a little longer."

"Okay," John mumbled, hugging Alex tighter and gently running his fingers through the older man's hair. "You smell nice."

"You keep saying that, and yet you don't even _try_ to fuck me," Alex complained.

John laughed. "I know, I'm lame."

Alex hummed. "It's okay. You're worth waiting for. Just as long as I can have hugs."

"All the hugs in the world," John chuckled. "I do need to get started on dinner though."

Alex pouted, releasing John and planting one last kiss on John's mouth. "I'm gonna go change. I'll be right back down." Alex jogged up the stairs into their room, throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt. He went downstairs to the living room and gently kissed Phillip on the head. "Hey, little man, how was your day?"

"Really bad," Phillip scowled.

Alex paused, then gently sat down on the couch. "Why so?"

"I was playing with the blocks, and they were number blocks, and so I stacked them in order, and _then_ Susanna came over and knocked them all down and started building a house with them and she wasn't even doing them in order!" Phillip huffed, crossing his arms.

"No!" Alex gasped. "How could she?"

"I don't know," Phillip groaned. "I hate kids."

Alex laughed a bit. "Phillip, you’re a kid."

"No," Phillip clarified, shaking his head. "I'll be six tomorrow, so I'm not a kid anymore."

"Oh," Alex nodded. "Sorry, you’re right. Are you excited for your birthday tomorrow?"

Phillip nodded, smiling. "I can't wait. I'm gonna eat so much cake and stay up all night. Are you gonna be there?"

"I think ‘am I invited’ is the real question," Alex wondered.

“Yes!” Phillip cried, a grin spreading across his face.

“Then I’ll be there.”

"Perfect" Phillip nodded.

"Alright, I'm gonna go give your dad some company. Do you wanna come down and hang out, or are you good with your cartoons and coloring up here?" Alex asked.

"I wanna stay here," Phillip told Alex.

"Alright, then we'll come and get you when it's dinner time," Alex promised.

"Okay," Phillip nodded.

Alex stood up and walked downstairs, grabbing his briefcase and pulling out some papers and his laptop. "Phillip's excited for his birthday."

"He better be," John laughed. "This is the first year I'll ever be able to actually afford to throw him a decent party." John phone buzzed, and he looked down, smiling. "Oh, Martha is coming. Sweet."

Alex's ears perked up, and he looked to John, who was casually cutting vegetables. "Martha is coming?"

John nodded. "I offered for her to meet Phillip, and we were talking about it, and we decided that a situation like his birthday might be good, and she would just be introduced as my friend. That way, in case it's too much for her, it's not like she'll have to spend a lot of one on one time with him. She can escape to the adults."

"Do your friends know her?" Alex inquired.

John nodded. "Maria does. So does Hercules, and I think Sally has met her once or twice since they both were in the same pregnancy class."

Alex laughed. "You have to go to class to be pregnant?"

John shrugged. "That was more Martha’s area of expertise, but from my understanding, it was like, a yoga class where you could also cry if you needed to. Really, I just, I was bad when Martha had hormones, and I didn't know what to do since I get uncomfortable when women cry, so she would go to this class and do yoga and cry. I met Sally after class one day when I was picking up Martha. Martha always joked that if Sally wasn't a lesbian, she and I would be dating."

Alex smiled. "Cute."

John was waiting for some kind of protest, rebuttal, anything. An annoyed sigh, a scoff, a faint sound of Alex mumbling something under his breath, but nothing came. John let out a breath. "Are you still working on the budget thingy?"

"No, I am not," Alex smiled, looking up again. "What I am currently doing is making sure my staff didn't fuck it up. So far so good."

"Ooh, you have your own staff?" John chuckled, stirring some soup on the stove for Phillip. "When did this happen?"

"Well, I am the leader of the budget division, and I have a bunch of asshole subordinates who are supposed to listen to me, but don't. They weren't elected, just hired, and holy fuck, it takes a lot of self-restraint to not curse at them." Alex sighed.

"Can't you fire them?" John asked, flipping Phillip's grilled cheese.

"I cannot," Alex mumbled. "Well, I can, but I'd have to draft a formal request to Washington, who would then have to review the worker’s history, then send the request so James Monroe, who would then also review their work history, and then they'd have to send their say back to me, and then I'd have to write up a whole thing about why they're being fired, and then I'd have to budget in severance, which takes hours to figure out, and then, if I even get that far, I have to have Washington review the budgeting for the severance package, and then I have to call a meeting with Washington, our receptionist, and Thomas, and then hand them a formal letter that I would have to write up, explaining why they were fired and a whole explanation of their severance package."

"Wow," John gasped.

"It's way easier to fire people as governor," Alex mumbled. "So, it's gonna be nice to be in that position. I could finally fire fucking Samuel Seabury, the asshole. Doesn't seem to realize that there's a reason _I_ was elected to the position and he wasn't."

John leaned over the counter and kissed Alex's head. "Aw, it's okay, baby."

"Sometimes I wonder why I care so much about my job, and then I realize that it's literally hard-wired to care about everything I'm doing so much all the time," Alex laughed. He sighed, putting his head down over the papers. "I need a break."

"Mm, it's okay, honey," John sighed. "We can go to sleep early tonight, yeah? I'm pretty exhausted right now. Come on, dinner is done. Let's go upstairs and eat this and watch a movie, yeah? Come on, no excuses."

Alex grinned. "I wasn't even gonna try."

Alex stood up, helping John carry the plates and up. They entered the living room and John and Alex sat down with Phillip, Alex curled up next to John, munching his salad while John picked out a movie. They eventually decided on How To Train Your Dragon, and Alex was content to lean against John, relaxing and closing his eyes. He knew he wasn't going to be able to fall asleep with the movie playing, but the warmth was nice.

Eventually, the movie ended, so Alex went down and got his meds while John put Phillip to bed, reading to the kid and making sure he was asleep before joining Alex in their room. They were both tired, but John still found himself running his hand along Alex's arms as the older man curled up against him.

"Mm, John, do you ever think about what life would be like if we just, I dunno, packed up everything and all moved to Puerto Rico or something?" Alex mumbled.

John shook his head. "No, not really. I tend not to think that far in the future. Do you?"

"Sometimes," Alex admitted. "I can just imagine all of us, sitting on the beach, getting tan and eating fresh fruit, so very far away from the smog and heat of New York."

"That sounds nice," John agreed, sighing. "Have you ever been to South Carolina?"

"I have not," Alex replied. "Is it nice?"

John nodded, curling some of Alex's hair in his fingers. "It's gorgeous. Amazing beaches, and so much wilderness. Georgia is right next door, so the peaches are amazing." John sighed. "Maybe we could go there one day. We could maybe go to my hometown for a day, and you could see where I lived and stuff like that. Oh, and we can't forget to at least one of these big gardens in Charleston. They're so pretty, and... I'm sorry, I'm rambling, aren't I?"

Alex shook his head, feeling his eyes droop. "No, no, it sounds great. We should go. Let's plan a trip."

"Mm, not yet though," John mumbled. "I don't wanna show my face around there just yet. One day, though."

"One day," Alex agreed before they both drifted off into a deep sleep.

-

"Hey, Johnny! Where's my nephew?" Maria laughed as she entered the house. The party has just started, and so far, Herc, Laf, and William had shown up, and now Maria. John welcomed his friend in, taking her gift and setting it on the table before leading her up to the living room where the party was taking place. Alex had pushed the couches to the side, leaving a huge space for all the kids to play. Then they had set up a table for the adults to sit at. Alex was very grateful his living room was so big.

"Hey, Mars," Alex smiled as the girl walked inside.

"Sugar daddy!" Maria cheered, hooking her arm around Alex's neck.

"I wonder when that nickname is going to die," Alex rolled his eyes. "I'm not even a sugar daddy. John makes his own money, I just make sure he has a place to sleep."

"It's not gonna die ever," Maria stated. "Because when John first talked about you, he called you sugar daddy."

"Maria!" John scolded. "I mean, you’re telling the truth, but still! Shame on you!"

Alex laughed, pulling himself from Maria's grasp, then going in to kiss John gently on the cheek. "My little sugar baby."

"Oh, speaking of babies, look at this picture I found in a book I haven't touched in three years," Maria laughed, pulling a photo out of her purse and handing a photo to John. Ale leaned over so he could see what the photo was of.

John smiled at the photo. It was of Phillip and him lying on the couch together. Phillip was barely five months old, and as naked as the day he was born, lying on John's bare chest, sleeping. One thing that no one told John about was how nice skin to skin contact with your baby was. It was relaxing and warm. On the nights Phillip just wouldn't sleep, John would walk around the apartment or his dorm like that since Phillip would start crying if he stopped walking. Moments like that were the nicest when Phillip was a baby because John knew that was his son. His son was in his arms, almost dozing off but not quite.

"I think that's the only thing I miss about Phillip being a baby," John mumbled. "He's getting so independent now, and I can't hold him as much anymore."

"Aw, papa bear is feeling emotions," Alex teased, gently pressing a kiss to John's shoulder.

John bumped Alex a bit, sticking his tongue out at the man. "Whatever."

"I'm here, I'm queer, and I brought a twelve pack of beer!" Thomas announced, walking into the living room.

James groaned, facepalming. "I told him that beer wasn't something to bring to a child's birthday party, but he insisted."

"Hey, Jemmy," Hercules smiled, pulling the smaller man in for a hug. "Don't worry, we'll wait until the kids pass out in a sugar-induced coma to drink."

John laughed. "Did you set the present on the-"

"Dining room table, yes, of course, dear," James smiled, pinching John's cheek. "Sally is running late, but what do you expect? She couldn't keep track of time if her life depended on it. She'd do horribly in those movies with the timed bombs."

John nodded. "Simply disastrous."

James laughed. "So what's the schedule?"

"We're waiting on Sally, Peggy, and Beverly, then we got Alex's friend Dosia and her daughter, and then my baby mama Martha," John explained. "Then we're gonna do cake and gifts, then let the kids play and watch a movie while we drink."

"Wait, hold on, Dosia Burr?" Thomas asked, perking up.

Alex smiled and nodded. "She's driving up from Philly as we speak. She’s supposed to be here in five to ten minutes."

"Sick!" Thomas cheered. "I miss her."

"Hold on, which Martha is coming?" Herc asked. "Because like, John, you have three Martha's who you could be talking about."

"Manning," John answered.

"Oh!" Herc gasped. "Oh, I haven't seen her in, in years! I've missed her."

"Wait, which Martha is that?" Lafayette asked, confused.

Herc leaned up and whispered in Lafayette's ear, most likely explaining which Martha it was, and why it was new that she was coming to the birthday party.

"We're here! We're here!" Sally laughed, walking through the door of the living room. "We set our gift on the dining room table since that's where everyone else's was." Sally and Peggy sat down while Beverly went to play with the kids.

Currently, they were having a big Nerf gun war but with no bullets, since John and all the other parents were equally as paranoid about a bullet hitting a kid in the eye and the kids losing their eyesight. Herc read it once in a parenting magazine. One thing about raising kids who were the same age as your friend's kids, is that you all go through the same thing at relatively the same time, and you all get paranoid about relatively the same thing.

"Oh, Dosia just got here," Alex smiled, standing up. "I'm gonna go get the door."

"I'll go with you," Thomas offered, standing up as well. The two both walked down the stairs as quickly as they could. Both were very excited to see her. Alex wanted to see how Theo, her daughter, was doing. They had the same name, so the daughter was referred to as Theo, and the mom was referred to as Dosia.

"Dosia!" Alex smiled as he opened the door, taking the woman in his arms.

"Alex! It's so good to see you!" Dosia squealed, hugging the older man tightly. "And Thomas! Jesus, your hair gets bigger every time I see you! Why the hell don't you have any shrinkage?"

"It's because of my white momma," Thomas smiled.

Dosia smiled and took Thomas into her arms. "It's so good to see you both. Aaron says hello, and told me to give you his love, and was very happy to hear about the both of you finding someone to be with." Dosia took both their hands, smiling. "Oh, it's so wonderful to see you."

Alex kneeled down and looked to at the little girl hiding behind Sia's leg. "And who's this? Could this perhaps be a little girl named Theo Burr?"

"Theo, honey, this is your godfather, uncle Alex," Dosia smiled.

Alex's eyes shot up. "Hold on, what? You made me a beneficiary for your daughter?"

Dosia nodded. "Don't worry, we don't plan on dying any time soon, but yes, we did. We figured that the spot was rightfully yours, seeing as you were the first person to ever hold her. We made Thomas the other beneficiary, and Washington is in there too, so don't worry."

"Oh, Lordy," Alex mumbled. He then put on a smile and looked back at Theo. "Hey there, Theo, would you like to come to meet my Phillip?"

Theo nodded and smiled, then hid behind Dosia's leg a little bit.

"She's a bit shy at first," Dosia sighed, picking Theo up. "But, she relaxes once she's around kids. Where should I put the gift?"

"Here, I'll put the gift on the dining room table," Thomas offered, taking the present and bringing it into the dining room, then walking upstairs with the other three. "So, if you and Aaron croak, it's gonna be me, Alex and Washington in some platonic poly relationship, raising your daughter?"

"Well, not quite," Dosia laughed. "She would live with Alex, and if he croaked, she would go to you, Thomas, and if you croaked, she would go to Washington. But let's not discuss this, because, thanks to denial, I am immortal."

Alex laughed, leading her into the living room. "You've never actually seen my house, have you?"

"Nope," Dosia chuckled. "It's nice. You still working in the room where it happens?"

Alex nodded. "You know it." Alex walked into the living room, smiling as he placed his arm around Dosia. "Alright, guys, this is Dosia, one of my best friends, and this is her beautiful daughter, Theo."

"Pip, come here," John called out.

Phillip toddled over, using a pillow as a shield from the imaginary bullets. "Hi, papa."

"Phillip, come here and meet one of Alex's friend's kid," John requested, taking his hand and leading him over to Dosia and Theo. "Hi, Dosia, I'm Alex's boyfriend, John Laurens, and this is my son Phillip Laurens." John looked down at Phillip. "Pip, hun, say hi."

Phillip waved and smiled at Theo. "Hi! I'm Phillip, what's your name?"

"I'm Theo," the little girl said, eyes not quite meeting Phillip’s.

"You wanna come play with us? You can be on my side since we're the Americans. The other side is the British, and we're fighting against them," Phillip smiled.

Theo nodded, giggling. "Yeah!"

Phillip took Theo's hand and ran with her back to the 'war zone' to play.

Dosia smiled. "Nice kid."

John nodded, sighing. "He really is." John looked to Dosia and held out his hand. "Hey, it's nice to meet you. Alex had told me much about you."

"All good things I hope," Dosia laughed, shaking John's hand.

"Come, sit down. Thomas brought beer," Alex called out.

"Of course Thomas brought beer!" Dosia laughed, coming and sitting down next to Thomas, on the other side of where John was sitting. "This guy would always bring beer. I've seen him passing out drinks at funerals."

"Okay, in my defense, it was a funeral," Thomas laughed. "Everyone needed a drink."

John sat back down and took Alex's hand, smiling a bit. "She's nice."

Alex nodded, kissing John's shoulder. "I'm really glad you like her. She's one of my closest friends."

John gently kissed the side of Alex's head. "Mm, she's sweet. I can see where you get it from. I oughta thank her."

Alex gasped with offense. "Dosia, was I sweet before we started hanging out?"

"No," Dosia snorted. "You were crude. Granted, you were a good actor, which is the only reason you got Eliza, but you were crude. You were not husband material until you and I started hanging out. Now you could very easily be scooped up."

"Aw, but I am scooped up," Alex laughed, pinching John's cheek.

Dosia chuckled. "You two are adorable. It's nice to see Alex finally found someone who could put up with his snoring."

"Barely," John scoffed.

"Thomas, help me out here," Alex pleaded.

Thomas just shrugged, nodding.

"It is true, Alexander," Lafayette cut in, taking a momentary break from his conversation with Sally, Peggy, and Herc. "Whenever you fall asleep in my office, you snore like a cattle. Even with headphones on, I can hear you."

John chuckled. "Alex is lucky that I'm so used to falling asleep with loud noises in the background, or I don't think I could manage to share a bed with him."

Alex pouted, leaning against John's shoulder. "I thought you liked me.

John pecked Alex's lips, smiling. "It's because I like you that I ignore the snoring."

Alex smiled cheekily. "Oh, Dosia, how's Philly?"

Dosia groaned loudly, tilting her head back. "It's like, knock off New York. I swear, I would kill a someone to move back to New York. We'd have to buy a house or rent a huge apartment though because we’ve got a little goose running around. I've been saving up though, and so has Aaron."

"Good," Thomas cheered. "We need you back up here. You're like our mother."

Dosia rolled her eyes. "Grown ass men really calling me to ask me how to cook and iron. I swear I was about to come up here and beat you two."

Alex laughed. "You love us."

"Oh, uh, Martha is here," John mumbled, checking his phone. "I'll be right back."

"Alright, dear," Alex said as John got up. The younger man jogged down the stairs to the front door, then opened it to see Martha, standing there. She looked really nervous, and she had two six packs in her hand. Her hair was down in its regular spherical afro look, and she had glasses on. John knew her vision was bad and figured when he saw her at the art show, she was probably just wearing contacts. She was wearing just a regular pair of ripped blue jeans, a white tee shirt and some knock-off Timbs.

"Hey, girl!" John smiled, pulling her into a hug.

"Hey, Johnny," Martha smiled, kissing his cheek.  John could feel her trembling. "God, it's been too long."

"Better part of five years," John snorted. "Can you believe it? This time today, you were bopping to TLC with me while contractions came every thirty seconds or so in a hospital bed."

"Watching you twerk to No Scrubs was definitely the highlight of giving birth," Martha chuckled, stepping inside. "Shit, nice house. Your man really is rich, isn't he?"

"He got a lot of money from a divorce," John explained, walking up the stairs with Martha to the living room.

"Ooh, he's been married? John, how bad!" Martha laughed.

John rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Martha paused before they walked into the living room. John noticed this and stopped, letting her close her eyes and take a few deep breaths. Martha sighed, looking to John. "Maybe I shouldn't be here."

"If you want to go, you can," John stated. "There's no pressure."

Martha sighed. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

John nodded. "I am. Are you sure you're ready?"

Martha nodded. "It's not like, not like I'm sitting down with your kid and explaining that I'm his mom, and I just didn't want to be his mom. I'm just maybe saying hi and then talking to you and your adult friends, right?"

"Right," John confirmed. "Martha, I'm gonna be right here, the whole time, and if it really gets too much, just fake a family emergency or something."

"Alright, alright, I got this," Martha nodded. "I'm a fuckin' New Yorker, I can do this."

"Hell yeah you can," John nodded. "Come on, you're my main girl, you got this. You're a badass homegrown New Yorker who punched a man for touching your hair while you were eight months pregnant. There's literally nothing you can't do."

"You're right," Martha nodded. "Let's do this."

"Fuck yeah," John cheered. He put his arm around her and lead her into the room. "Hey, Y'all, this is my girl Martha, and she brought more beer!"

"Hell yeah!" Thomas cheered.

"Here, John, I'll sit next to Tommy and you can sit next to your friend," Dosia smiled, getting up and moving.

"Oh, thank you," John laughed.

"Damn, John, is shawty single?" Martha asked, looking at Dosia.

"Shawty is married with a daughter," John snorted.

"Shame," Martha laughed. "Aye, Mars, Herc, what's popping?"

"Martha, I knew I recognized that Brooklyn homegrown ghetto accent from somewhere," Maria laughed. "Baby girl, you look fresh, you wanna grab a drink after this thing?"

"You know I do," Martha nodded.

"Oh, God, the moment two Brooklyn girls come together, it's like you really get a good idea of how people really talk in this state," John snorted.

"B, when am I gonna hear you talking in a New Yorker accent? Huh? Two one two, baby boy, get your ass into shape, I wanna hear you speaking like a real New Yorker," Martha laughed.

John switched into the New Yorker accent he used when he needed to sound tough. "Aye, yo, alright shawty. Baby girl, why don't you and I pick up a couple of pies and sit out on the stoop? Little Petey and big Joey been meaning to stop by."

Martha gagged. "Nevermind."

"I've only been here for eight years, cut me some slack," John pouted.

"Aw, the little southerner," Alex cooed, kissing John's cheek as he felt a slight bit of jealousy build up his stomach. "I like it."

"That's just because you have a thing for different accents," John laughed, ruffling Alex's hair. "And I only really talk in my southern accent when..." John trailed off, then leaned in and whispered in Alex's ear. "When your head is between my legs."

"Ooh, I didn't even hear that and I know it was something naughty," Martha teased, sipping her beer. "Tsk tsk, John. I thought you were a man of God or something."

John snorted. "Yeah, okay, Martha, whatever you say." John stood up, popping his back. "Alright, party animals! Let's make out way into the dining room! It's time for presents, and cake and more sugar than any of you should really be eating!"

"Yay!" All the kids cheered, running downstairs. The adults got up and followed suit, Alex leaning into John and pressing a kiss to the younger man's cheek, before nipping at his neck a bit.

"What has gotten into you?" John laughed, hugging Alex closer.

"Mm, I'm just happy," Alex smiled. "You're cute."

John, kissing Alex's lips gently, smiled as he slipped his hand into the older man's back pocket. "Thank you for letting the party be at your house."

"Our house," Alex corrected. "You really should get used to calling it that. This is our house, you sleep in our room, and Phillip is about to eat way too much cake in our dining room."

John chuckled. "Mm, I'll try."

"Brat," Alex scoffed, sticking his tongue out at John.

"Maybe," John replied, kissing Alex's nose.

They got downstairs and Phillip was laughing, sitting next to Theo and William as William made farting noises. Theo was giggling like crazy, and so were the other kids. Martha leaned back against the wall as John started handing Phillip presents, interacting with the other kids. She felt almost as if she was watching a movie on what her life could have been. She began to wonder if she could've done it. If she could've been a mom, with birthday parties, and PG movies and helping with homework.

She knew she would've sucked, which is one of the reasons she didn't want to be involved with Phillip's life. Her mother had been awful, neglectful, and terrible. Her father had never been around, and Martha hadn’t had any other parental figures, so she had no model of a good parent. There was always that bullshit about how kids give people a chance to be better than their parents, but Martha didn't want to test that. She just wasn't meant to have kids. John was though. She knew he would make a great father, even before she was pregnant. Something about John just had that energy.

"This weird for you, girl?" Maria asked, leaning next to Martha.

"Hm? Oh, uh, I dunno," Martha shrugged, sipping her drink. "It's weird to see what the kid looks like. Shit, B, when I last saw him, he was like, a weird little worm with jelly on his head. Now he's like, a person. Fuck."

"Do you regret leaving?" Maria continued.

Martha shook her head. "Nah, I don't. I woulda been an awful mother. Phillip deserves parents that love and dote on him, and I ain’t that, even if I wanted to be."

"He did forget to get Pip vaccinated once, but that was just because he never gets his flu shot," Maria laughed. "Ooh, Pip's opening my present, be back soon."

Martha smiled as she watched Maria skip over to Phillip. She did feel really out of place here, watching all the parents laugh and talk to their kids. It was almost uncomfortable for her, and she was starting to regret coming.

"Hey," a voice said.

Martha looked over and smiled at Alex. "Hey, Alex, yeah?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah. And I know your name."

Martha laughed, leaning back. "Didn’t know kid’s birthday parties were so.... exciting, I guess. Lord knows I never had no birthday party."

Alex chuckled. "Same."

Martha sighed. "So, how's John? I lived with the dude for almost a year, and boy, I know it ain’t easy. Nothin’s over easy with him."

Alex shook his head, staring over at John with a small smile on his lips. "No, no, it's actually, it's nice. It's a big house, and it's nice to finally have some company."

Martha paused, staring at Alex. "Boy, you love him."

Alex creased his eyebrows, looking over at her. "Uh, well, I mean, I care about him deeply, but love is kinda a big step, and we've only been actually dating for three months, and living together for six months, so I mean, love really isn't a factor that should be involved yet, and besides, we haven't even really talked about where this is going, and-"

Martha cut him off. "Ugh, I forgot why I stopped dating men, but you just reminded me. Nevermind. Pretend I never said shit, long I don't have to listen to you ramble about shit anymore. I thought it was a _thing_ because you make it pretty fuckin’ obvious, but whatever."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

Martha nodded.

"Why'd you come here?"

Martha shrugged, looking over at Phillip and John. "Curiosity, I guess. Wanted to see how the kid was doing, how John was doing. Believe it or not, just because I left the kid, don’t mean I don’t care about him." Martha paused. "I know you don't like me. You're mad, or you don't get it, or you think I'm just some immature bitch who doesn't know how to raise a kid, but you know what? I don't give a shit. I'm sorry if I sound rude right now, but I don't. John is one of my best friends, and I'll always love him. I can't be the momma Phillip needs, and I can't be the girl John needs. That's why I left. That's why I lost touch with them. I made that choice, and right now, I know I made the right one, because look at ‘em." Martha pointed at John and Phillip. "Look at how happy they look. They got here because I wasn't in the picture. That makes me feel a helluva lot better about my choice."

Alex paused, then looked down, knowing she was right.

"And I'm not tryna get John back, neither," Martha continued. "You can stop acting like you have to claim him every couple of seconds. I get that you like him, boy. Believe me, it's really easy to like John, he's just that kind of person, but you can chill. I'm not here to take John or Phillip. Or to become an active part of this kid's life. I'm just here because I needed some closure. So grow a pair and get over it."

"You really don't dance around your feelings, do you?" Alex asked.

Martha shook her head. "I don't take shit from people. Not even John. If someone does something to me that I don't like, they're gonna know."

"John did tell me you once knocked a guy on his ass for touching your hair," Alex laughed. "While pregnant."

"Hell yeah I did," Martha chuckled. "Grown ass men coming up to me, thinking they can just touch me without asking. I swear, all those hormones took away _any_ self-control I had, and I was poppin' off whenever. I once slapped a motherfucker so hard for touching my stomach and asking if I was pregnant. I mean, I was, but you don’t do that."

Alex tilted his head back, laughing. "Man, you really are a New Yorker."

"What about you? I'm not blind to your accent, but you're more passive than most New Yorkers," Martha obsereved.

"Eh, moved to Albany, when I seventeen, then to Buffalo after I got married. I didn't really live in Buffalo for too long since I was being sent overseas on deployments pretty often. Then I lived in Jersey after I discharged from the army, and then I moved up to Manhattan," Alex explained.

"And what about before Buffalo?" Martha questioned.

"All over the place. I moved up to America when I was thirteen, moved around America a lot. Before that, I was down in the Caribbean," Alex told her. "What about you?"

"Brooklyn and Manhattan," Martha answered. "My momma and daddy were both artists, and so am I. I got a cheap-ass brownstone apartment. The lady renting it to me is my godmother, so she don’t charge me as much as all them white folk who live there. You own this whole place? Just you?"

"I owe the down payment to my ex-wife, but yeah, all mine," Alex answered. "I didn't need it when I bought it, but I was in the middle of a pissing contest with myself, so I bought the house. I have like, three or four cars in the underground garage that I never drive."

"Big money," Martha commented.

"Hey you two," John smiled, coming over with two plates of cake. "I figured you both would want some."

"Aw, thank you, Johnny Baby," Martha laughed, taking the plate.

"Thanks, babe," Alex smiled.

"Hold on, Imma gets my piece of cake, and then I'll be right back," John affirmed, gently kissing Alex's cheek.

"He likes you," Martha sang after John had walked away.

"I should hope so," Alex replied.

"Nah, boy, he really _likes_ you," Martha insisted. "John sucks at relationships. Like, he would check that for me. He actually sucks at relationships. He really tryna be here with you or some shit. Cares about you."

Alex smiled. "I really care about him."

"Gimme your number," Martha requested, pulling out her phone.

"Why?" Alex mumbled, giving her an odd look.

"Because I have about a hundred and fifty pictures on my phone of John that are equally adorable and embarrassing," Martha laughed, going to a certain file in her phone. "Like this one." She showed Alex a photo of John in a pair of blue short shorts and a white sleeveless button up shirt tied up to show his stomach, next to Maria, who was wearing black jeans and a black tank top. "It was for a project in their dance class, something creative, so they did the dance from the movie Dirty Dancing but John played Baby instead of Maria."

"Oh, God, I love that, okay, here, lemme put my number in your phone," Alex laughed. Martha handed him her phone and he put his number in, then handed it back to her. "Thank you. Oh man, I can't wait to tease John about that."

"Tease me about what?" John asked, coming over.

"Oh, Sylvia!" Martha sang teasingly.

John's mouth fell open. "Traitor! You showed him the picture?"

"And I'm about to send him a bunch more," Martha smirked, looked down at her phone and selecting way too many photos for the amount of storage that Alex had left. "John, I been saving these photos for like, six years, and now I've finally putting them to use. Alex, you take care a’ them. I think I might a’ just sent you one of John's dick pics on accident, but I'm sure it's nothing you haven't seen before."

Alex grinned cheekily over at John. "I'm lucky that I'm cute, aren't I?"

John nodded, taking a bite of his cake. "You really are." He grabbed Martha's beer and took a sip, smiling. "Martha, remember that time at, uh, I think it was Katie's party?"

"Oh! When you did a keg stand and we dropped you?" Martha laughed.

"Yes!" John exclaimed. "I was so wasted I didn't even feel it!"

Martha snorted. "Alex, he puts on this responsible adult bullshit, but lemme tell you, he used to be a party animal."

"Oh, yeah, and look where that got me," John snorted.

"You're right, it must suck, living with a son you love and a rich-ass politician in the middle of Manhattan with two good jobs," Martha shot back.

John smiled. "Yeah, you're right. It got me here, and I don't wanna be anywhere else."

Martha gagged. "Gross, you're gross. Both of you, it's gross."

"What? A romantic relationship where we actively care about each other?" John teased.

Martha nodded. "It's simply uncivilized. Have you two bumped the uglies yet?"

John snorted. "Alex, I'd like to formally apologize on behalf of her. The two of us really don't have boundaries anymore, so we both are kinda just..." John trailed off, shrugging. "Yeah. Anyway, no we haven't."

"Lame," Martha laughed. "What happened to my white rabbit who literally left me, seven months pregnant, in the apartment to go get some pussy?"

"Don't you dare complain," John gasped. "I ate you out, and bought you burritos and let you use my Netflix account. I was a doll."

"Aww, you were," Martha smiled.

"Wow, John, I'm starting to get an idea of what kind of person you were before you were a father, and it's wild," Alex laughed.

John rolled his eyes, gently knocking Martha's shoulder. "She over-exaggerates. I wasn't always like that. I studied, and I got good grades, and I danced."

"Did he?" Alex asked Martha, obviously having trouble believing that John actually did work in college.

"He did," Martha confirmed.

"Papa," Phillip said, coming up to John. "Can I have another piece of cake?"

John nodded, picking Phillip up. "Of course, Pip. This is papa's friend Martha, say hi."

Phillip stared at Martha for a second, then smiled at her. "You have spots too! I have some on my knees."

Martha smiled. "Do you like ‘em? I like mine."

Phillip nodded. "They look like treasure islands."

Martha smiled, looking down a bit.

"Alright, dude, I'll get you some cake," John smiled, walking towards the table with Phillip in his arms still.

"Man," Martha muttered. "That was trippy."

Alex chuckled, taking a final bite of his cake. "Weird really seeing him for the first time?"

Martha nodded. "I dunno, yeah. God, I really shouldn't be complaining or venting to you or shit. You're really the last person I should be venting to."

"Did you guys date, or something?" Alex asked, looking at her curiously.

"We were almost dating. We lived together, we hooked up before I got too big, we were almost domestic," Martha laughed. "John, wanted to be something, but I couldn't do that. I wasn't the person who could handle a relationship at the time. I'm still not, really." Martha smiled. "You remember that night when you and John got into that argument about me or something, and you left?"

Alex nodded.

"Well, he and I got a drink after that, and you know, he just, he talked about you a lot," Martha chuckled. "He was _off_ about the fact that you’re, like, mature, because John has terrible taste in men, _awful_ , and then here _you_ were. He got so goddamn giddy when he talked about how you paid taxes and shit. I think you're the only real _man_ that John's ever really been with."

Alex rolled his eyes but leaned a bit closer to Martha. "He really said so?"

"I called you daddy material and he agreed," Martha snorted. "Honey, Imma be honest here, you don't gotta worry. John likes you."

Alex smiled. "I like him too."

The party went on as any little kid's birthday party would. The adults had fun, laughing and drinking while the kids played and watched movies. Alex would catch himself staring at how adorable John was. The way he could wrangle a group of five kids so easily. Dosia would often shove him out of his little trance, and mention something about being sappy. Eventually, though, people began to leave. Once Herc had become a little tipsy, Lafayette rounded up William and wished everyone goodbye. James and Thomas were the next ones to go, wishing everyone goodbye and Thomas promising Dosia a trip down to Philly to see her. Soon enough, Martha was the last one leaving, since Dosia was too drunk and tired to drive, and Alex offered her the spare room.

"Thanks for inviting me, Jonny Baby" Martha sighed, hugging John in the doorway. "It was definitely weird, not gonna deny that, but I'm glad I got to see your kid at least once. He's cute. Definitely looks like you."

"And you," John confirmed. "Hey, I'll text you soon, and we can go get a drink. Alright? It was nice seeing you today. I'm really glad we're talking again."

Martha nodded. "Me too." She sighed, hugging John. "You gotta whole-ass man in there. Don't fuck up. He really likes you or some shit."

"I'll do my best," John laughed. "No, really though? I like him too. I just gotta, I gotta get over my commitment issues and shit like that. You know how I am."

"Unfortunately," Martha laughed, rubbing John's chin. "You’ll never be able to grow real facial hair, huh?"

John shook his head. "Probably not."

Martha tilted her head, smiling. "Eh, it kinda suits you. You wouldn't look good with facial hair. Keep it like that. Besides, how are you gonna eat ass if you have a bunch of scruffy facial hair?"

"Oh, actually it's not that bad," John admitted. "Alex's didn't bother me."

Martha's jaw dropped. "You let him eat your ass? Hold on, is he the one who..."

"No, he's not the top," John snorted. "He just has a thing for my ass, and turns out, getting your ass eaten is actually a lot nicer than I would've thought. Anyway, I should probably let you go. You're gonna be okay walking home alone, right?"

"I am," Martha nodded. "I have pepper spray, and three years of self-defense. Everything is gonna be okay, I promise. Plus, I have an Uber waiting for me to take me to the subway station." Martha sighed, kissing John's cheek. "I love you, John."

"I love you too, my dear girl," John replied. "Please be safe, and call me if you need anything. I'll pick up."

"Alright, goodnight, John," Martha smiled.

"Goodnight, Martha," John replied, waving to her and making sure she got into the Uber safely before going back inside and making his way into the kitchen where Alex and Dosia were. Dosia was sipping a beer while Alex had a cup of tea, sipping it as he listened to her talk.

"So tell me about you two," Dosia smiled as John walked into the room. "What's this about?"

"Oh, uh, we've been together for about three months, and I was living with him for about three months before that, so we had a little time to figure out our feelings for each other before we dove in," John explained.

"Talk about time, I had to ask him out twice," Alex joked. "I totally knew when I first met him. I totally knew I liked him."

John rolled his eyes. "Correction, Alex knew he liked my ass. Be for real, when did you really know you liked me?"

"Remember that barbecue we had with all of our friends?" Alex asked, looking at John.

"Seriously? That was like, barely a month after meeting each other," John laughed.

Alex shrugged. "When you know, you know. What about you?"

"Uh, I thought I liked you but I wasn't sure until I went on that date with the philosophy major," John chuckled. "I know, I'm so lame, but in my defense, I'm absolutely terrible at figuring out I liked people. I mean, my last real relationship, I, uh..." John trailed off, thinking about Frances. "I just was dumb about it."

"Believe me, I know a few things about being dumb in relationships," Dosia laughed. "Aaron is a doll, you know I love him, but oh boy, I've gone through some men that made me want to start dating women again."

John snorted. "Yeah, me too."

"Hey!" Alex whined.

"Aw, you know I adore you," John smiled.

"You two are cute," Dosia stated. She grabbed the final couple of beers and smiled. "Come on, let's go up to Alex's room and then drink too much for responsible parents."

"Sounds good," John agreed.

"Hold on, lemme get my meds," Alex laughed, going into the medicine cabinet and pulling out his Ambien.

"Oh, you still taking sleep meds?" Dosia asked.

"Sleep meds, opioids, antidepressants, and PTSD medication," Alex announced, smiling. "Turns out, you're not supposed to be in constant pain and have flashbacks so bad that you stop breathing. So yeah, not just sleep meds, but they all work mostly. Haven't had a panic attack in, well, in a while, and I've been sleeping."

"Good, Aaron was worried about you for a while," Dosia stated. "Said you showed signs of PTSD and depression."

"Fucking psychology major," Alex mumbled. "You know, just because he did that in pre-med doesn't give him any right to mess around with my head. Asshole never got permission to snoop around. Next time he's near me, I'm just gonna think real hard about shoving my foot up his ass, see how much he likes that."

"I'm pretty sure your friend doesn't have ESPN," John laughed.

"No, that's a sports channel, you're thinking of ASL," Dosia corrects.

"No, that's a language, you're thinking of NPR," Alex disagreed.

"Hold on, this is just going to go on forever," John mumbled, pulling out his phone. "It's ESP, so I was closest. Dosia was second closest, and Alex just..." John chuckled as they all began to walk upstairs. "Alex just didn't know."

Alex smiled. "I think I deserve an A for effort, right?"

John rolled his eyes as the three of them made it into Alex's room. John sat down on the bed, and Alex curled up next to him, like a cat. Dosia just chuckled as she sat down too, sipping her beer. For a second, the three of them only could bask in silence; Alex enjoying the feel of John's body, Dosia enjoying the taste of her beer, John enjoying both the beer and Alex.

"When was the last time you talked to Aaron?" Alex asked.

"Couple days ago," Dosia stated. "He's out of the infirmary, and he's doing fine, but they extended his deployment."

Alex creased his eyebrows, sitting up. "Are you fucking kidding me? He's been there for like, six months already."

Dosia nodded. "Yeah, I thought he'd make it home for Christmas, but, guess not. They're really short on doctors over there, so I guess I get it. I just, _shit_. Six months was so long, and I was so excited to see him, and then..." She trails off, looking down a bit. "Then I find out he's staying another six months. I mean, really Alex, what the hell?"

"They're keeping him a year?" Alex gasped. "That's fuckin' bullshit! Does he have any say in it?"

"You know the army," Dosia scoffed. "As if he'd ever had say in anything."

Alex sighed, gently taking her hand. "Are you okay?"

"I mean, no, I'm not," Dosia choked out, her voice cracking. "Jesus, fuck, sorry for getting all emotional on you guys."

"No, it's okay," John assured her.

"I mean, Aaron is my husband, and I love him. I know being with someone in the army means all the deployments, and the time apart, but I'm scared, Alexander. I'm scared he's going to find someone better than me while he's over there and leave me," Dosia admitted.

"No, no, he wouldn't," Alex stated.

"Why not? He's over there for a year, and I mean, it's not like it's never happened before. I mean, Alex, you cheated on your wife so much while you were over there, what's to say Aaron won't follow suit?" Dosia bit her lip, wiping her cheeks.

"Well, hold on," Alex started. "Here's the thing about me. I was married to a psycho bitch who hated me. Aaron, Aaron is married to the most kick-ass chick I know. I mean, Dosia, he'll send me letters, and most of them are filled with just how much he misses you. He loves you so much, and I don't think he could even imagine being with someone else."

"God, I hated Eliza," Dosia mumbled. "Such a bitch."

"Girl," Alex laughed. "You don't know the half of it."

"I totally tried to beat her ass a couple of times," Dosia admitted, laughing. "I mean, the girl treated you like shit, had the nerve to act like she was better than me just because she had money or something. I get it, you married her for the green card and the cash, but no one should treat their husband like that."

"You forget how shitty I was," Alex points out.

"Okay, look, you were a young dude who had serious commitment issues, and you know what? I would be shitty too if my wife too if the bitch acted the way Eliza did," Dosia stated. "No wonder you begged to stay overseas for such large amounts of time."

"She wasn't that bad," Alex chuckled.

"John, I hope you're not buying into this bullshit," Dosia pointed out. "She was awful. The first time I met her, I watched her take a cup of wine and-"

"Alright, enough storytelling," Alex cut off quickly, cutting Dosia a look that told her to shut up about Eliza's treatment of him. Alex had had more than enough reminders for a lifetime about how bad Eliza was, and with the conversation he’d had with Thomas the other day, he wasn't really in the mood to get into it again.

Dosia smiled, sipping her beer. "I think I best leave that story to Alex. So, John, what do you do? What's your thing?"

"I'm a dance teacher," John answered.

"Down on Broadway," Alex bragged, beaming up at John. "Dunno how I bagged this cutie, with his dancer legs and his fuckin' face and freckles and shit."

John rolled his eyes. "Alex likes to make me up to be some big thing but I was literally homeless when we met."

"With a kid?" Dosia asked.

John nodded. "Yup. Phillip has always been a really easy going kid though. Always has been. I swear, I'm seriously lucky to have a kid like him. I don't know how I would've managed if Phillip was like, a menace or something."

Dosia laughed. "I feel that." She stretched, yawning a bit. "Fuck, I should probably leave you two alone."

"Nah, stay," John stated.

Dosia didn't seem to have any trouble accepting the request. "Well, if you insist. What's the deal between the little guy and Thomas? I thought Thomas usually went for loose women and slutty bottoms. That guy-"

"James," John informed.

"Yeah, James, he just, he seems so unlike what Thomas usually goes for. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's adorable." Dosia smiled. "His cute little fanny pack and calm demeanor. And he's really nice too, I just have no idea how he ended up with Thomas."

"Thomas liked him for a while, and then they hooked up on Halloween, and then James sort of just, went on a date with Thomas to hopefully put an end to Thomas' courting, and  it turns out that James actually really likes Thomas when he’s not being the awkward shit he is," Alex explained. "Thomas is still a fuckass when it comes to actually trying to get with someone."

"I tried to fix that," Dosia chuckled. "I set him up with one of my friends, and he just, he was so bad." She sighed, flopping across the foot of Alex and John's bed. "Just leave me be. I'm about to pass out."

"Me too," John mumbled, curling up above the covers.

Alex smiled at the two of them, doing the rest of his Ambien water and taking off his leg, curling up next to John and gripped the younger man's hands. "John, darling, I simply adore you, and I had a wonderful day with you."

John leaned in and kissed Alex's lips. "I adore you as well, Alexander."

"Same my name again," Alex requested softly, placing one of John's hands on his ass, inside of his boxers.

"Alexander," John whispered. "My dearest, Alexander."

"John," Alex sighed.

"Alexander," John replied.

"You remember that time you fell out of my window?" Alex asked.

John, instantly realizing what song Alex was referencing, nodded. "I do. You came jumping out right after me."

"Well, you fell on the concrete and nearly broke your ass, you were bleeding all over the place, I rushed you out to the hospital, you remember that?" Alex gently ran his fingers through John's hair, working out a tangle as he waited for the reply.

"Yes, I do," John answered, smiling as he pulled Alex a bit closer.

"Well there's something I never told you about that night," Alex began.

"What didn't you tell me?" John questioned, punctuating his sentence with a kiss on Alex's lips just for good measure.

"While you were sitting in the back seat, smoking a cigarette that you thought was gonna be your last, I was falling deep, deeply in love with you, and I never told you until just now," Alex admitted. While they were only lyrics written by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, it felt like he was admitting something real. It felt like he had just told John he loved him, and honestly, Alex wouldn't mind saying it more often.

"Aww," John continued, going along with the song.

Alex stopped for a moment, staring into John's hazel eyes, that seemed to just barely have flecks of green. Freckles splayed across his face like an overpopulated galaxy, a bit of hair on his upper lip and chin. Alex couldn't help but bite his lip, staring at the man in front of him in utter adoration, infatuation, and whatever word Alex could find with the three languages he knows. He wanted to blurt out his real feelings, all of them. He wanted to tell John he had planned a rough draft of a wedding, wanted to tell John that he could see the two of them growing old together, wanted to tell John that he wanted to put a ring on that finger and mean it this time. Be good this time.

John, sensing this, instantly coughed and adjusted himself so he wouldn't have t make eye contact with Alex anymore. "Mm, well, goodnight, Alexander."

Alex sighed, curling up in John's arms. "Goodnight, John."

John took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. Nothing had even been said really, and he felt like he was about to vomit. He just had to remind himself that it was okay. It was safe. This all was going to be just fine.

  



	15. Damn sis, you're really just out there, spilling tea like this

Alex stormed through the kitchen door, huffing angrily as he threw his bag aside his bag and tore off his coat. January was gone, and so was February, so the weather was slowly warming up. It was still brisk enough for the Caribbean native to be wearing his coat, but he knew that soon enough he would be trading it out for the wool blazer that he wore once it got warm enough. The Star Of David James had sent him dangled from his neck. He’d received his mother's copy of the Torah, the necklace, a few pictures, and some books.

"Hey, honey," John greeted, looking up from some student debt bills on the counter. "Are you okay?"

"Oh!" Alex scoffed annoyedly. "I'm just peachy! I'm absolutely _fucking_ peachy! My day was amazing! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sulk in our room for the rest of the night! You look nice today!" Alex huffed and stormed upstairs, limping a little bit.

"Uh, okay," John said mumbled, obviously confused. "I guess it'll just be me and Phillip tonight." John looked over to the steps when he saw movement, smiling at his son. "Speak of the devil, hey there bud, you okay?"

"Is Alex angry?" Phillip asked, coming over and climbing up on a seat next to John.

John thought for a second. "I think so. I think he just needs some alone time. You know how sometimes you have a lot of emotions and you just want to yell and cry and laugh and everything else all at once?"

Phillip nodded.

"I'm sure Alex is just going through a bit of that and needs some time to think," John confirmed. "Now, would you like me to order something? I was going to cook but..."

"What are you doing?" Phillip asked, looking down at the papers in front of him.

"I'm paying for some of my schooling," John stated.

"You don't go to school," Phillip laughed.

John shook his head. "Not anymore, but before you were born, I used to go to a very expensive school, and now I have to send them some money as a thank you for teaching and housing me."

"Will I have to give thank you money to my school?" Phillip asked.

"Not until you are much older," John confirmed. "Now, I don’t believe you’ve told me what you want for dinner."

"Pizza," Phillip grinned.

"Something healthy," John scolded.

"Pizza with mushrooms," Phillip bargained.

"Deal," John agreed.

John wasn't feeling all that hungry, but he knew that leftover pizza would be nice for tomorrow. John ordered pizza for Phillip and chugged some water before the two of them went upstairs to wait for the pizza and watch some movies. When the pizza came, John told Phillip he'd be right back, and then climbed the stairs to Alex's room. The room was dark, but John Alex's phone screen was illuminating Alex’s face. Even with the dim lighting, John could tell that Alex was pissed. It was odd to see Alex so angry, though John was often there when Alex was yelling at the TV, pacing around the room and spewing forth expletives about the president.

"Hey, darling," John murmured.

Alex looked over, to make sure John knew he was listening.

"Would you like me to bring you up some mushroom pizza?" John offered.

"Not hungry," Alex grumbled.

John sighed, leaning against the doorway, crossing his arms over his chest and looking to Alex softly. "Alright, dear. I'll let you have some alone time. Phillip and I are gonna watch movies if you want to join us, but no pressure. I get needing some time. Do you want me to sleep in the guest room or something? to give you your space?"

"No, no," Alex mumbled. "Don't do that. I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm really pissed off right now. I'll be okay by tomorrow. Please, just, don't sleep somewhere else."

"Alright," John replied. "I'll be up in a few hours."

John closed the door quietly, leaving Alex to his venting into the group chat between him, Washington and Lafayette. Both he and Lafayette were talking mass amounts of shit and cursing way too much for men in their thirties. Washington was the voice of reason, sending in an occasional 'alright, calm down', or something. Just thinking about the day’s events made Alex practically shake with rage.

He’d been in a meeting, and his leg had started acting up, so he was a little distracted due to, well, intense amounts of pain. He was presenting the budget plan- which was finally done- just to show everyone that he really did it. Everything had been going fine until he forgot the word for incumbent in English. WIthout even noticing, he called himself the titulaire officer, which is the word in French, then went on with his work, only to be cut off by Adams.

"I'm sorry," Adams smirked, his words dripping with venom. "What did you just call yourself?"

"The titulaire officer," Alex said dryly. "Wait, that's not the English word for it. Laf, help me out here, what does it mean?"

Laf paused, thinking. "Alexander, I don't believe I remember the word either. I know what you mean though, you are the titulaire of your position, but if we were gonna say that all in English, it would be..."

"Titular!" Alex said triumphantly.

"Nope, don't know what that is either," Adamas snapped. "Washington, he doesn't even know basic English, do you have to sit through this meeting?"

"No, no, I know the word," Alex mumbled. "Shut your mouth, Adams. I know the word."

"You obviously don't," Adams shot back.

"Shut up, Adams," Lafayette mumbled. "No, Alex, what is it?"

"Here, I'll look it up," Washington offered.

"No, no, look at him struggle!" Adams laughed. "This is just getting funny."

Alex balled up his fists, glaring down at Adams. "You know what, you try to speak three languages fluently."

"I don't need to speak three languages fluently, because I was actually born in the country I am an elected official for," Adams laughed. "This is ridiculous, how much longer do I have to sit here and listen to this idiot try to figure out the fucking word? I have work to do."

Alex stepped forward to lunge at Adams but was stopped by two things: The first was Lafayette, standing up and stopping Alex from moving any closer. The second was the excruciating pain that shot through his leg. Alex cried out, cursing as he lifted his leg off the floor, itching to take the prosthetic off.

"Yeah, I'm going back to work, this is a waste of time," Adams laughed, standing up and leaving. If Alex could have, he would've beat the living shit out of Adams. The nerve this man had. Alex was seething at the thought of him right now, but he was also almost on the verge of tears. He felt stupid. He felt stupid because he couldn't remember the stupid fucking word incumbent. He felt stupid because he couldn't even walk right. Adams had embarrassed him in front of a lot of colleagues, and his major. He felt weak, and that made him angry, and scared, and hurt and downright depressed, all at the same time.

"Fucking bitch ass motherfucker," Alex mumbled, tossing his phone onto the nightstand after he had grown tired of talking to Lafayette and Washington. He just wanted to sit there and stew in his own anger, which he was _really_ good at. While he waited for John to come in, he ended up writing a fair amount- in _French-_ of things Adams really oughta know. Adams was a Republican, so he would never get voted Governor, but it still really irked Alex how awful he was.

"Hey, hon," John sighed, coming into their room and stripping down to his boxers, setting a cup on Alex's nightstand and then climbing into bed with Alex. "I got you your meds. Two, like you, usually take. How was your day?"

Alex groaned and rolled over to John, cuddling up to the younger man. "Sucky."

"What happened?" John asked, stroking Alex's hair.

"It's all because of this stupid finalizing of the budget," Alex began. "I had to give a presentation on the budget, to ask for suggestions and a schedule of where any extra money should go throughout the year. Anyway, my leg was really bothering me, so I wasn't really in the game, and then I forgot the word incumbent and I couldn't figure it out. Then Lafayette couldn't figure it out, and then fucking _Adams_ started making fun of me in front of the whole room of people, and mocking my poor English skills! And then when I tried to hit him, my leg spasmed and Lafayette had to help me walk to my office and I fucking hated it! I looked like a fucking _idiot_ in front of all of my colleagues."

"Awh, hun," John murmured.

"I hate my stupid leg and the stupid English language and stupid Adams and stupid everything else!" Alex groaned, sniffling. "John Adams doesn't even have a real job! He just signs things! Meanwhile, I'm working my ass off, creating a whole fucking budget for the state of New York, pulling all-nighters, reviewing any mistakes, running back and forth between people because I have to please everyone and I just, I hate him! He's such a dick!"

"Hey, it's okay," John assured softly.

"It's not okay though," Alex insisted. "I'm supposed to be a leader, I'm supposed to be strong. Hell, everyone _knows_ I have aspirations to become governor, and what will they say about me when they realize I can't even fucking _walk_? Fuck Adams, fuck this, fuck everything. I'm so sick of feeling like living in this country and having the job I have is a privilege! I worked hard to get here! I had a four point two GPA my whole high school career. I earned my spot in the army; it wasn't given to me. I kept my grades up all through college, studying and working hard. Dammit, John! Everything I've ever gotten has been because I worked for it, so I have a fucking right to live in a nice house, with a nice job, and a nice boyfriend and a nice kid. I have done everything the best I could my whole life! I get to forget the fucking word incumbent. Who the hell even uses that word anymore? I mean, I do, but still! Maybe, maybe I'm not an English master, but I was speaking it pretty well after learning for three months. Fuck Adams! I'm good at talking!"

"You are," John assured. "Alex, I was very surprised to find out that English wasn't your first language. You speak it very well, and you are, of course, allowed to make mistakes." John planted a kiss firmly on Alex's forehead. "You deserve everything you have, and you _did_ work hard for it. You are more fluent in French and Spanish because those were what you grew up learning. English is hard. I mean, it's the only language I speak and I forget words too. There's a lot to know, and you know what? That brain of yours has so much in it, that it would be easy for a word or two to get lost. That’s why we have Google."

Alex laughed, wrapping his arms around John's neck and looking up. "Mm, I'm sorry for being so grumpy. I just, I get pissed off sometimes, and I don't like taking it out on other people, so I tend to lock myself up for a bit."

"There's nothing wrong with needing alone time," John stated. "Phillip needs alone time too and-"

Alex cut John off. "Great, so I'm the emotional equivalent of a six-year-old."

"And so do _I_ ," John finished. "Emotions are really hard to handle and understand, Alex. We're expected to know how by the time we're adults, but honestly? I'm twenty-six and I don’t freaking know. If there's one thing I do know though, it's that we just need to let ourselves feel things. Whether it's reading a book in the bath because you feel happy, or spending the day binging some movies because you’re sad, or listening to heavy metal music and going for a run because we're angry. We can't pretend our emotions don't exist, so there's no point in trying. You can let yourself be angry, just make sure you do it in the right way, which you are."

Alex sighed, kissing John's lips. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

John pushed Alex onto his back, pressing kisses onto Alex’s jawline. "I missed you today."

"Mm, I missed you too," Alex murmured.

"Oh yeah?" John teased, his voice becoming huskier. "What did you miss?"

"I missed your face, I missed your hair, I missed your lips," Alex listed. "I missed the way you smile when I'm complimenting you, and you're trying not to smile, but it just makes you look even cuter, like you're doing now. I missed your ass."

Alex lowered his hands and squeezed John's ass, smiling innocently. "I really missed your kisses. I missed the way you pull my hair to tilt my head back when you kiss my neck. I missed the way your voice sounds when you get turned on." Alex shifted, feeling John's semi-hard dick against him. "Mm, _that_ , I missed that."

"You missed what, exactly?" John asked, knowing exactly what Alex meant.

"I missed the way you feel when you're hard, pressing up against me," Alex groaned, squeezing John's ass a bit more. He let a small sound escape his throat as John leaned down and began kissing his neck. "Fuck."

"Keep talking," John commanded, marking up Alex's neck.

"I missed the way you, you looking the morning, with your- ah! Fuck, with your hair all done up and messy from your shift,"

Alex whined as John's hand began to play with his dick, rubbing it through his boxers to make him harder. "I missed the way you kiss me on the shoulder to distract me from the fact that you're stealing my coffee." Alex let out a yelp as John nipped harder than expected on his neck. "God, John, fuck, fuck I miss the way you- fuck!” Alex couldn't keep talking. John was jerking him off at an excruciatingly slow pace, nipping and kissing his neck.

"How does this feel?" John murmured, his thumb running over Alex's tip.

Alex wanted to let out a sob. At this point, John was being cruel. "It feels too slow. Fuck, John, could you speed it up a little bit? Fuck, please, John."

"Only because you've had a bad day," John sighed, beginning to move his hand a bit faster. "You like that, baby? Hmm?" John smirked, adjusting himself so he was on his hands and knees over Alex."Tell me."

"Fuck, John, I do," Alex whimpered, running shaking fingers through John's hair as the younger man sucked on his neck. "Please, please do more. Faster, faster, _please_."

John chuckled, moving his hand a bit faster and finding Alex's lips with his own. He plunged his tongue into Alex's mouth to quiet the man down a bit, finding pleasure in the moans that poured from Alex’s mouth into his. For a second, John got the overwhelming urge to rip off his boxers, and Alex's sweatpants, then pound into the man like there was no tomorrow. The idea was tempting, and John felt himself growing even harder as he pictured Alex writhing in pleasure beneath him. But he decided against it, seeing as Phillip was only two rooms away, and Alex wasn’t exactly quiet.

"Fuck," Alex moaned, thrusting his hips, and rutting into John's hand like a bitch in heat. "Please, John, just keep going, don't stop."

John kept moving his hand, but wiggled backward. He met Alex’s lust filled eyes, and slowly slid two fingers between his lips. Maintaining eye contact, John began to suck on his fingers, bobbing his head and trailing the tip of his tongue through the gap between his fingers. Alex didn’t seem to be able to look away, his pupil-blackened eyes locked on John, as John’s head sank lower and lower until it was parallel with Alex's swollen cock. Slowly, John lowered his head down to Alex's cock, mouth hovering right above Alex’s puckered tip, fingers sliding between Alex’s legs. Alex, who was quite desperate for release at this point, moved his hips up to enter John's mouth, spreading his legs and hitching a calf over John’s shoulder to allow easier access.

"Ah, Jesus," Alex choked out as John began to bob up and down on Alex's dick. A finger, wet with spit, pushed it’s way past his first ring of muscle. He’d had a bad day, but being here with John made up for it.

John tried to stay slow with his first finger, but it was hard not to thrust three unlubed digits into Alex pert little ass. John bit his lip and waited until Alex’s hole had relaxed around the first finger to add another, reminding himself that he wasn’t prepping anyone this time, only fingering.

Alex found himself pushing strands of John's hair out of his face to get a better view of John's face. Alex felt drunk in the best way. John’s fingers scissored the fingers in Alex’s hole, and Alex had to bite down to not let out the cry that was building up in his throat.

"Oh, fuck," Alex groaned, sitting up a bit as John's fingers began massaging his prostate. Eyes closed and thighs trembling, Alex felt himself get closer.

"Tell me when you're about to come," John ordered, licking Alex's tip before going back down. John could sense that Alex was close due to the shaking in Alex’s thighs, and while John liked Alex very much, he would still rather die than swallow jizz. Spitting was a habit he’d picked up in high school, and never lost.

Alex nodded, keeping himself propped up and running his fingers through John's hair. Alex usually could sense at least a couple seconds prior to when he was about to come, but as luck would have it, not tonight. By the time he tried to call out a warning, he came in John's mouth, leaving the young man with a disgusted face as he pulled off of Alex's dick, the white substance still in his mouth.

Alex looked at John nervously. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

Alex was cut off by John spitting out his jizz onto his stomach, spitting a bit more for good measure to make sure that everything was out. John popped his lips a couple of times before reaching for the water bottle he always kept on his nightstand. He took a sip, and then spit again on Alex's stomach.

"Extra, much?" Alex scoffed, trying not to move and soil the bed sheets.

John shrugged, getting up to get Alex a dirty tee shirt. "I don't swallow."

"Spitters are quitters," Alex scoffed.

John raised an eyebrow, coming over and wiping Alex's stomach off. "Oh well. I don't swallow. Never have, never will."

"What if your partner wanted you too?" Alex asked curiously as John climbed back into bed. "What then?"

"I say no, and if they still want me to, I spit it in their eyes," John stated.

"Hold, wait, what about pussy?" Alex asked.

"Pussy is different," John pointed out. "First of all, there's not a whole lot you’re swallowing anyway. Second of all, pussy tastes better. Swallowing jizz makes me feel fat."

Alex creased his eyebrows. "Hold on, wait, how? It doesn't have like, any nutritional value or calories anything."

"Actually, it can have up to twenty-five calories, and it has more carbs than it does fat and protein. Pussy is only nine calories at most, and it is mostly protein. Know your facts," John smirked, patting Alex's cheek.

Alex was doing some math in his head, counting a bit on his fingers to try and keep count of what he's doing. "Hold on, but we eat like-"

John cut him off. "I'm not the biggest fan of talking about food. What are we gonna do tomorrow?"

"Well, Peggy saw that I was having a bad day, so, she invited the three of us out to coffee tomorrow with her and Sally and Bev, you wanna go?" Alex gently took John's hand. "I told her I'd ask you, so we can always say we're busy or something."

"No, coffee sounds great," John insisted. "Did she give you a time and place?"

"Eleven at Manhattan Espresso Coffee," Alex stated.

"Well, text her tomorrow morning and tell her we'll be there," John smiled.

Alex nodded and then paused. "You still have a boner don't you?"

"Yeah it's getting painful," John admitted. "I feel like I'm about to explode."

Alex smiled, sliding John’s pants down and lowering his head. "Let me help you out."

-

John, Alex, and Phillip walked through the door of a cafe, laughing at a story Phillip was telling. Peggy, Sally, and Beverly were all already seated at a booth in the back. The three of them sat down across from the girls. A waitress came over as soon as she saw the other half of the party arrive, taking orders and then leaving.

"So, how're things?" Sally asked John. "I feel like the only time we ever see each other is work, and it's hard to have a real conversation surrounded by people who have had too many grown-up drinks."

John chuckled as Alex and Peggy, and Phillip and Beverly started talking, too. "It's been fine. Uh, yeah. Really uneventful, actually. Winter is coming to a close though, and it's been raining a lot, so there's not much to do anyway. What about you?"

"Well, I'm actually moving in with Peggy next week, so that's really exciting," Sally smiled, giggling a bit.

"Girl, oh my god! Go you!" John congratulated, nudging her leg under the table with his foot. "Have you heard back from any colleges? I know you applied to a few places, and I was wondering how that went."

"No, nothing yet," Sally sighed. "Actually law school is one of the reasons I'm moving in with Peggy. I was talking to her, and I mentioned my dream of attending law school since I have my econ bachelors degree, and how that's what I was planning to do before Bev came along. And Peggy asked me why I didn't apply, and I explained the burden of housing, and money and food on people on the poverty line, and then she offered for me to move in with her." Sally smiled. "She said I could be her cute college student trophy wife."

"Sugar mommy," John whispered, smirking.

"It's not like that," Sally scoffed. "She’s good. She's so much better than any man I've ever been with. I mean, I've never really been with a woman like this, and I like it. I _really_ like it. I feel so happy and free and at peace with the person, I am. I feel good, is, I guess, what I’m trying to say."

John smiled as the waitress set down their drinks. "I'm really happy for you, Sal. Also, there's no way you're not going to get into law school. I mean, girl, maybe you took a break, but have you seen your transcript for college? I couldn’t even get those grades with _dancing_ , and I've been dancing since I was like, three. You have a real gift, Sally, and you're gonna get to put it to use, I promise."

"Thank you, John," Sally smiled. "Did you hear about Laf and Herc?"

"Oh my God," Peggy cut in. "There's no way he hasn't."

"Wait, what? No, I haven’t, spill the tea sis, oh my God," John gasped, ignoring Alex’s smirk at John’s choice of words.

"Okay, okay, so you know how they're moved in, right? It's whole nine yards for them. They skipped the whole 'new relationship' stage and they're domestic or something." Sally sipped her coffee. " _Anyway_ , the other day, Hercules called me and he was freaking out, and it turns out, Lafayette asked him if he and William would like to come up and meet his French family for a month over the summer."

"That's a big step," John said in shock. "They've only been dating, what, seven months?"

"I know right," Peggy agreed. "So I cornered Laf in the break room, and I asked him about it, and- oh my _God_ , John- Laf is like, _super_ in love with Herc. He said he was absolutely positive that Herc was the one. Said he was going back to France not only to have Herc meet the family but to get his mother and father's wedding bands."

"Holy shit," Alex gasped. "Why didn’t I know this?"

"Because you’re always working," Peggy commented. "Anyway, anyway, Laf is meeting Herc's parents next week, and he's hoping they really like him, because- being the traditional dude he is- he wants to ask to marry Herc. I mean, if they say no it's not gonna stop him, but he's still going to ask."

"Wow," John mumbled. "Hold on, this is moving really fast, and I don't want Lafayette to set himself up for heartbreak or something. Sal, did you ask Herc, where he is with the whole ‘committing to Laf for life’ thing? Because, granted the summer and meeting the parents is a while from now, but like, does Herc love Lafayette as much as Lafayette loves Herc?"

"Yup," Sally informed him, nodding her head.

"Okay, we had Herc over for a little while because we were watching William, right? We got him to sit and have some tea since he seemed a little stressed, and the topic of Lafayette and marriage happened to come up. I mean, we're all dating in our thirties, let's face it, we're not looking for a quick fling."

"Except John," Alex chuckled.

"Yeah, I'm dating in my twenties," John crowed.

Peggy rolled her eyes, laughing a bit. "Whatever, anyway, it came up _organically,_  and Herc said, and I quote, 'if he got down on one knee and proposed to me right now, I would say yes.' Which is like, a lot of love."

"Holy heck," John mumbled. "Did Lafayette cure Herc's abandonment issues?"

"Herc doesn't have room to have abandonment issues, Laf is just as clingy he is!" Sally pointed out. "When they're not working, they're always together or going to meet up or something. I mean, I swear, I get pretty sketchy about the people Herc dates because he’s a freaking marshmallow, but Lafayette is seriously a good dude."

"Yeah, no, Laf really likes Hercules," Alex confirmed. "He has a picture of him, Herc, and William on his desk, and Hercules is his screensaver, and it's just, they're so crazy for each other, it's insane."

"I don't really believe in soulmates," Sally conquered. "But I'm pretty sure that Laf and Herc are about the closest thing here on earth."

John nodded. "No, yeah, it's pretty obvious that they really are meant to be. I mean, I haven't seen Hercules this smitten with someone in a long time."

Sally chuckled. "I mean, honestly."

The coffee date went nicely. No spills, which was always a win for parents, and even better, there was nothing particularly bad to discuss. Sally had a bit of drama going on with Islamic youth groups being able to do the same thing as Christian youth groups, but Alex spoke up, offering to help her bypass the people she'd have to go through to get the issue taken to court, and take it straight to Washington. They spoke for a while, having fun, letting their kids order more hot chocolate, and all of them indulging in some dessert. The check was picked up by Alex, who insisted on paying.

While they were waiting for their server to return with their check, John noticed Phillip squirming a bit in his seat. "Pip, you gotta go to the bathroom?"

Phillip nodded.

"I gotta go too," Beverly whined.

"Okay, parent train is leaving the station. Anyone who has to pee, and needs adult supervision, come with us," Sally chuckled, standing up. The pair of parents and kids made their way to the bathroom, and Alex sighed happily as he watched John go.

"You look at John the way Eliza wished you’d look at her," Peggy commented, laughing.

Alex shrugged, looking down at his hands, then back up at his ex-sister-in-law. "I just, I think he's really great. I like him."

"L is for the way you look at him," Peggy began singing. "O, is for the way you're oblivious about your feelings. V is for Vendetta. E is for everyone, which is the who thinks you should man up and tell the dude you mean business."

Alex rolled his eyes. "You know? I actually take back what I said during the divorce about you and me always being family. I don't know you."

Peggy laughed but stopped as a tall white man approached the table. She expected him to make a comment about her hijab, or the blatantly homosexual parents who’d been sitting at the table, but he didn't even look at her. He looked at Alex.

"That was John Laurens, right?" He asked, his dark eyebrows furrowed. He had thick curly hair that was cut short, and a noticeable scar on his cheekbone.

Alex nodded, confused.

"Is he your boyfriend?" The man was looking intently at Alex, and Alex found himself growing uncomfortable under the man’s vaguely assaultive gaze.

"Uh, yeah, he is," Alex informed him.

"You should be careful," the man warned him. "As someone who dated the dude for two years, I know a few things I think you’d find interesting."

"Leave us alone," Peggy snapped.

"No, wait, what do you mean?" Alex asked, allowing his curiosity to get the best of him.

"Did you ever wonder about his tendency to start fights? Or think he’s just a _bit_ too close with his friends?"

Alex’s mind flew to Martha, and how casually the two of them talked about sex. He began to wonder if they had done anything since they got back into contact.

"What do you know about him? About is past? Has he _really_ told you anything? About what happened between him and his father, and why he left home? I’d bet anything that John has yet to give _shit_ away about himself, but you’ve told him all about you, haven’t you. No secrets between the two of you, after all. Haven't you ever wondered what actually went on before you two met? His friends have hinted about it, but you’re still not sure. Who was John? How the fuck did he end up here?"

"I never asked. He just never got the opportunity to tell anything." Alex said. Why hadn’t he realized that John had yet to tell him anything about himself?

"Don't tell me John hasn't done the whole shuffle he does whenever shit gets too real. Topic changes that seem to come out of nowhere? How quick he is to brush questions about his past off? How skinny he is? I don’t believe you’ve never asked. Bet he told you to drop it. Been on the receiving end of a good punch, yet?" Frances brushed his hand along the small scar on his cheek.

"Frances!" A voice snapped.

The man turned, Alex following his gaze to John, who’d returned from the bathroom.

"Phillip get behind me," John commanded. "Sally, make sure he-"

"Yeah, yeah," Sally murmured, putting her hand on Phillip's shoulder and pulling him behind her a bit.

"John," Frances greeted, unsmiling. "It's been too long."

"Get away from him, Frances," John growled.

Frances cocked an eyebrow. "I’m happy where I am at the moment, thank you. You’re welcome to join in the conversation, but I have to warn you, we’re on your least favorite topic: _you_."

"Leave us alone," John snarled, clenching his fists. His heart was in his ears as Frances looked him up and down.

"You're skinny, John. You’ve lost even more weight," Frances commented.

John resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "What do you care?"

Frances smiled, his lip curling in disgust. "I don't."

John resisted the urge to knock that look off of Frances’s shit-eating face. "You have no right coming near me, nor my child. Get out of here."

"But I was just about to introduce your boy-toy to you. I’d have thought you’d be grateful, sparing you the pain. That was always your excuse for withholding _basic_ information, 'it’s too painful', 'I don’t want to relive it.'" Frances mocked. "I never got that about you. What are you so afraid of? The past already _happened_."

John stayed quiet.

Frances sighed, closing the gap between the two of them, now barely a foot away. "I really shouldn't be able to see your bones through your shirt. Didn't Boyfriend here ever care enough to comment? Did he even notice?"

It was Alex’s turn to find himself at a loss for words.

"Frances, shut up," John snapped.

Shutting up was clearly not on Frances’ agenda. "I'm guessing he doesn't know much about your father, either? What’d you tell him? Busy and religious? That’s what you said to me. He doesn't know about me either, I'm guessing." Frances’s lips were set in a small smirk, but his words came out flat. "Two years, and I don't even get a footnote." Frances looked blankly at a livid John, who was, for some reason, still. "Don't you ever get tired, John? Of doing everything on your own? Of protecting, and worrying and _controlling_ everything?" Frances looked to Alex. "He hates it, not being in control. It's an addiction."

"Go away, Frances," Sally warned, her hand still tightly gripping Phillip so the kid won't move. Phillip, who seemed to be almost frozen with fear, didn't even try.

For the first time, a genuine smile played at Frances’s lips. "Good to see you too, Sally. Does your girlfriend know you're a stripper?" Frances asked.

Peggy coughed. "I'm sorry?"

Sally looked down, her eyes wide.

"You are lucky I don't knock you on your ass, Frances. Get out of here!" John growled, his knuckles clenched so hard they were almost white. "Leave us alone."

"Careful you don’t let your temper get the best of you John, there are more than enough witnesses here."

"You got what was coming to you," John snapped. "I'm not here to drag up some shit that doesn't even matter anymore."

"Doesn't matter?" Frances laughed. "Well, obviously it does, because you're still partaking in your old stress reliever. Do you ever feel sad knowing that you've probably shaved off so many years of your life this way, you'll probably be lucky to see Phillip's kids graduate sixth grade?"

John let out a noise reminiscent of a mouse being stepped on.

"I'm saying this, not because I care about you or anything we had, but because you need someone to say this," Frances‘s eyes stayed on John. "The shit you don't tell people is going to catch up to you, faster than you think, and your son will be left an orphan because God knows, even when we were _engaged_ , I couldn't even call him my stepson. You need to man up, because not everyone is going to spend months trying to coax a little bit of information out of you as I did. Not everyone is going to care."

"Dude, just leave us alone," Alex snapped.

Frances smiled, rubbing John's chin a bit. "You never could grow facial hair. Goodbye, John. I'll see you in Hell."

John stood there, staring as Frances walked out the door. His shoulders were tense, and so was the air around the group. Sally was still staring holes into the floor while Peggy stared at her hands. Alex was sitting there, looking up at John in utter confusion.

"We should go," John mumbled, turning around.

"Yeah, us too," Peggy said slowly, looking up at Sally.

John gently kissed Sally on the cheek, picking up a shaking Phillip. "It's gonna be okay, girl. Just be honest. Call me if you need anything. I'm sorry you got dragged into that."

Sally nodded and John walked out, Alex on his heels. John put Phillip in the car seat and then sat in the front, staring at the window. His chest felt tight, and he knew that if he talked it was either going to be an angry outburst or turn into a puddle of tears. Alex's curiosity was practically killing him, but the car ride was silent. Phillip was oddly silent too, and Alex began to wonder why Phillip was so scared of the guy.

When they got home, John took Phillip up to the car and carried him up to his son's room, closing the door, leaving Alex to wonder some more. John sat down on Phillip's bed, Phillip in his lap, both of them hugging each other tightly.

"You can cry, Pip," John told his son, kissing the top of Phillip's head.

"I wanna be tough though," Phillip stated. "Like you."

John swallowed hard, looking down at Phillip. "I, I wanna cry too. We can cry together, and that way we won't have to do it later when we're alone."

Phillip nodded and leaned against John's chest, letting himself cry. John held true to his statement, pressing his cheek against Phillip's head and letting his eyes fill up with tears and spill over. John rocked Phillip, their sobs far from quiet, far from gentle. The last time John and Phillip both really cried together was when Phillip was a baby and John didn't know how to get him to stop crying, so he sat down and cried with him.

"Never again, I promise, never again," John mumbled. "I'm never gonna let anyone do anything like that ever again. I promise, Phillip, he's not coming back. I'm gonna protect you, I'm gonna keep you safe. Papa's right here."

"Papa, I hate him," Phillip wailed, his face buried in John’s shoulder.

"I know, I know," John said softly, stroking Phillip's hair. "I do too. But hey, buddy, look at me." John tilted his head down so Phillip could look up at him. "I am right here. That is never going to happen again. Seeing Frances today, it must have brought up a lot of emotions, right?"

Phillip nodded, sniffling.

John wiped Phillip's cheeks and nose with his hand. "It's okay to let yourself feel those emotions, but let's see what they are first. You know, our little game."

Phillip nodded again, and thought. "I feel scared."

"Why?" John asked, gently bouncing Phillip on his knee.

"Because Frances was here, and he hurt me," Phillip answered.

"Yes, but Frances was not _here,_ in this room," John told Phillip, hoping to calm the kid down. "And even if he was, I would fight him off with my big strong muscles, just like last time. He's not going to hurt you again, I promise."

Phillip nodded, leaning into John a bit more. "I also feel mad."

"Why so?" John mumbled, resting his chin on Phillip's head.

"Because Frances was mean to you, and made you mad," Phillip stated.

John nodded, sighing as he thought about the way Alex looked at him when Frances was saying all those things. "Yes, he was mean to me, and I was angry, but sometimes you have to be above things like that and let it go. We can’t control anyone's actions but our own, and I don't think we should waste energy being angry at Frances."

"I'm still mad," Phillip mumbled.

John chuckled sadly. "I figured, but how about this? Don't keep yourself angry, and don't let it be all you think about, because that's probably what he wants. The best kind of payback is being better than him."

"Okay," Phillip mumbled. "I also feel tired."

"Do you wanna take a nap or watch a movie?" John asked.

"Movie," Phillip answered.

John smiled. "Hey, it's been a rough day so far. How about we just watch movies for the rest of the day to make sure nothing else happens that's bad, yeah?"

Phillip smiled, which was a parenting victory in John's book. "Can we watch the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie?"

John nodded. "Whatever you want."

Phillip smiled as John carried him down to the living room. Alex wasn't there, so he was either in his office or in the kitchen. John sat down with Phillip, grabbing some blankets for the two of them and turning on a movie. John pulled his phone out of his pocket, letting Phillip cuddle up to him as they picked out a movie. The first one they decided on was Phillip's first request, so John opened up his messages and texted Sally.

John: Hey, is everything okay?

Sally: She's pissed.

John: Shit, I am so sorry.

Sally: It's not your fault. I should've told her the truth, I just wish she didn't hear it from the mouth of that asshole. Are you and Pip okay?

John: We cried together for a while, and then we talked a little bit, and now we're watching a movie. Alex has yet to start the interrogation, but I know it's coming. You think you and Peggy will be okay?

Sally: I think she's more hurt that I lied to her more than anything. Which is surprising. I thought she'd be pissed that I shake my ass five days a week and let men feel me up.

John: We could always trade places. You be the bartender, I’ll be the stripper. More than happy to shake my ass for cash.

Sally: Haha. You sure everything is gonna be cool with Alex? He looked kinda pissed.

John: He can deal with it. I'm not gonna take shit because I won't talk to him.

Sally: So you're just not gonna tell him about anything? At all? No minor details or slight explanations of why your ex-fiance, who I'm guessing was unknown to Alex, came up to him and started talking about shit that wasn't his place to talk about. Peggy told me he was saying some really sketchy shit about you before you showed up, but I cleared it up for her. It hasn't been cleared up for Alex, so I would suggest telling your boyfriend why you hit your ex.

John: You're right, but just that. Alex doesn't need to know things about me.

Sally: Your right, only people who are dating should share details of their life.

John: We are dating.

Sally: _Exactly_. You're being stupid. But whatever, just make sure the guy knows you aren't a woman beater or something.

John: Alright, I will. Talk later, girl.

Sally: See you at work.

John sighed and put down his phone, hugging Phillip a little closer as the movie played. He felt almost paranoid, watching for Frances' face to appear in a window like some horror movie bullshit. John was thankful he was holding Phillip, or his anxiety might not be as toned down.

John jumped when Alex cleared his throat from the living room doorway. "Mind if I join you two?"

John nodded lazily and Alex came in, sitting down with his laptop and beginning to work, glancing up at the movie every now and then. There was a space between the two that annoyed John. John sighed and hugged Phillip closer, taking some of his own advice. He could not control anyone's actions but his own, and control those he would.

"I'm gonna order or make something for dinner," John announced as late afternoon turned into early evening. "What should we have?"

"Pizza," Phillip stated.

"No pizza, honey, you had it last night," John sighed. "How about I steam up some veggies for you and put them with noodles and peanut sauce, hmm?"

Phillip nodded, still looking at the movie.

"Alex, babe, should I make enough for you too? Or do you want something else?" John asked, not letting his moody boyfriend affect his actions.

"Hm? Oh, uh, yeah, sure," Alex mumbled.

John sighed, remembering Sally's words about making sure Alex knew he wasn't abusive or anything. "Alex, hun, I forgot where you keep the strainer, could you help me find it? You know me, always forgetting."

"Yeah, I know you," Alex said slowly, his eyes narrowing a bit as they stood up.

"Alex will be right back up, Pip," John promised, kissing the top of his son's head. "Will you be okay?"

Phillip nodded.

"Just call out my name and I'll be there in a jiffy if you need anything," John insisted, before walking with Alex downstairs. It was quiet for a moment as John began boiling some water then got out some vegetables and a cutting board, then the younger man spoke. "Frances said a lot of things, Alex, and taken out of context, they sound quite bad."

"Uh, you think?" Alex scoffed, letting his annoyance shine through. "I mean, what the hell, John? I get some random-ass stranger coming up to me, telling me you’re not the person I thought or some shit, and then I find out you _hit_ him while you two were together? Speaking of together, you were _engaged_? I mean, John-"

"I didn't call you down here to have this conversation," John interrupted. "We're not getting into this right now, there's just one thing I need to clear up: I did hit Frances."

"I'm sorry, you did? What the hell?" Alex asked.

"I hit Frances, once," John went on, cutting up some vegetables. "It was late, we were arguing. We argued a lot- more than any normal couple should have. Anyway, we were arguing-"

"So that gives you the excuse to just pop off on the guy?" Alex snapped.

"If you interrupt me again, you can call Sally and she can explain what happened," John snapped, glaring over at Alex. The older man was silent, and John continued, looking down at his vegetables. "Frances and I were arguing. It was something stupid, I don't remember. I was living in a one bedroom apartment, and Phillip was sleeping, so I was trying to be quiet, but Frances, being Frances, was not. Phillip up and of course, since he was three years old, he wanted to see what was happening."

Alex choked up suddenly, remembering Phillip say something about one of John's boyfriends pushing him.

"I told him to go back to bed as calmly as I could with how pissed I was, but he was three, he was curious, and he was stubborn. He stayed, asking what was going on. I don't know why, why France's got so angry so suddenly. I mean, he was already angry, but he just, I had never seen him so livid. We hadn't been having sex and it had been a rough night, but I mean, it was still no excuse." John paused, setting the knife down and staring at the counter. "He hit Phillip, and pushed him back."

Alex's eyes widened.

"And that’s a type of anger I ain’t never felt before. Maybe you've felt it, maybe you haven't, but it's the type of high you could kill a bitch off of." John sighed, picking up the knife again and continuing his cooking. "I hit Frances as hard as I could, right in the jaw. My engagement ring was the thing that left the scar. I pushed him out of the apartment and locked him out, then spent the whole night watching the door and Pip." John shivered, looking at Alex. "I changed my number, moved, and started teaching morning classes at the dance studio instead of afternoon ones. I put Phillip in a new daycare, the French one." John let out a bitter chuckle. "Yeah, I hit Frances. I hit him as hard as I could. I would do it again, and I would do it to anyone else who hurt my child. I don't regret what I did, I really don't. So, yeah, that's all I wanted to tell you."

"What about the engagement?" Alex asked.

"It happened, it ended, that's it," John mumbled.

"And-"

"I told you, I’m not having this conversation right now. Go back upstairs with Phillip," John stated, turning around and dumping the vegetables into a steamer. "I'm not sorry for what I did to Frances, and I'm not sorry for not giving you with the rest of the information in the middle of your kitchen while my kid is upstairs."

"Our," Alex mumbled, standing up from where he was sitting.

"Hm?" John hummed, looking over.

"It's our kitchen," Alex replied, standing up. "Not mine. Ours."

"Yeah," John nodded, going back to dinner.

John waited for Alex to be totally upstairs before he let out a sharp breath and tightly closed his eyes. He hated thinking about Frances. He hated it. It was painful, and it made him feel like a terrible parent. He hated himself for letting Frances be involved with their lives for so long. He should've known that Frances was going to do something. He should've stopped Frances from ever hitting Phillip. He should have done something sooner, should've protected his son better.

John sighed and continued cooking dinner, making two bowls. One for Phillip and one for Alex. John really didn't feel hungry. He felt too guilty to eat. He brought up their food and then went and changed into some sweatpants before coming back down and sitting down, wrapping a blanket over himself.

"You're not gonna eat?" Alex asked slowly.

"I'm not hungry," John mumbled, hugging Phillip closer to himself.

Alex sighed, but didn't say anything as they continued watching the movie. They were currently on Mulan, but Phillip was fading as he ate. It only took one more movie for the kid to fall asleep. John took his and Alex's bowls downstairs, then carried Phillip up to bed, reading him a story before turning out the light. Alex was already in bed when John got there, typing on his laptop.

"You wanna talk about what happened today?" Alex asked.

"No," John answered, slipping off his pants.

Alex paused. "Nothing?"

"Nothing," John smiled, changing into a hoodie before sitting down in bed next to Alex.

"Can I ask about today then? Because I have a few questions,"

John shook his head, plugging in his phone. "Nope."

"Well, John," Alex started. "I have a few things I feel like, as your boyfriend, I should know. Like, uh, what did he mean when he said you pulled the 'busy and religious dad' card on me? He talked about your weight and how you didn't always look like this, and then he made a really good point in saying that I don't really know all that much about you. I mean, John, I'm sorry, I feel like I have a bit of a right to know what he meant by all that, don't I?"

"No, you don't," John answered.

Alex paused, looking John up and down. "How much _do_ you weigh?"

"I don't like talking about my weight," John shot back. "Drop it."

"And again, with the subject changing. The awkward John shuffle," Alex gasped. "Look, obviously Frances wasn't a good guy, but-"

"Wasn't a good guy?" John laughed. "Alex, congratulations you made the understatement of the year."

Alex rolled his eyes. "But I'm not like him, so why can't you talk to me about this? We've been together for almost six months now, and I feel like I've proven myself to be a pretty decent dude who's _not_ about to lash out."

"It's not about you," John groaned. "I just don't like people knowing things about me."

"Okay, but John, when you're in a devoted relationship with someone, you're kinda supposed to know who they are, and right now, I'm really wondering if I know you at all! I mean, would I have ever even known about him if he hadn't shown up today?" Alex looked at John expectantly.

"With luck, no," John replied. "Look, Alex, can we just not have this conversation?"

"Do you say that to everyone who asks something that's too real?" Alex spat back.

"Yes, I do. Stop asking questions about me. It doesn't matter," John sighed.

"Yes, it does," Alex insisted. "Because I care about you, and I want to know what the hell he meant by, by everything! I'm not going to stop asking."

John nodded and stood up, grabbing his phone and charger. "Alright. I'm going to go sleep in the guest room, because I have work tomorrow, and I do not feel like being kept up by you. So, good night Alexander. I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow."

"John, wait," Alex started.

"No, I'm not going to wait, because I'm upset with you, and upset with myself, and upset with Frances, and I want to be alone. So I will be sleeping in the guest bedroom, tonight." John walked out of the room, closing the door. He sighed, stepping into the other room and plugging in his phone before falling onto the bed, closing his eyes. It was easy for John to fall asleep, easy for him to make it through the next five hours without a dream, but hard for him to pull himself out of bed at two am to the sound of his alarm. John groaned, pushing himself up and out of bed, popping his back.

"Fuck," John muttered when he remembered the events from last night. He crept back into Alex's room to get some clothes for his shift at the bar. It was the only place he was working today, so he didn't have to get his dance bag or anything. John quietly opened the door, then sighed at Alex, sitting up, dead asleep, with his laptop in front of him.

John made quick work changing, getting on his black tee shirt and black pants, finding a hair tie to put his hair up with. Then he approached a sleeping Alex, carefully moving the laptop to the nightstand and helping Alex lie down.

"Mm, John?" Alex mumbled, just barely awake.

"Yup," John answered, about to pull the blanket over Alex.

Alex groaned and grabbed John's wrists, pulling him onto the bed.

"Alex, I really gotta go to work," John grumbled as they tousled a bit.

Alex, ignoring John's protest, pushing the man onto his back and straddling him.

"Jesus, fuck you're strong," John mumbled as Alex pinned his wrists. "Come on, Alex, I really don't have time for this..." John trailed off as Alex began to kiss his neck, moving his hips a bit. He stopped straining against Alex's grip on his wrists and moaned lightly as Alex ground down harder.

"Missed you last night," Alex mumbled, kissing John's jaw.

That statement reminded John of why they were in this whole situation. "Get off. I gotta go to work. I'm serious, Alex, stop it."

Alex groaned, rolling off of John while the younger man got up. John fixed his hair in the dim light coming from the window, sighing when he realized Alex hadn't stopped staring at him.

"Stop being grumpy," Alex grumbled, sitting up a bit.

"No," John muttered. "I have a good reason to be grumpy. You're the one who wouldn't leave me alone last night, and then was rutting on me like a dog in heat just a few moments ago. I'll be as grumpy as I want."

"What secrets are you keeping, John Laurens?" Alex asked slowly.

John sighed, glaring at Alex. "None of your concern."

"Wait, come here, just a second, I promise," Alex mumbled.

John sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, looking at Alex. The older man pecked John's cheek. "I like you, no matter what. Even if you're a serial killer, or a Russian spy, or a well-known sugar baby, or even... a Republican."

"I'm not a Republican," John assured him.

"Oh thank God, it would be like dating Thomas," Alex sighed. "I'm sorry for last night. I shouldn't have pushed you. I am worried about you though. I don't think you're a whole different person than what you present, but I'm worried that you feel like you have to deal with stuff alone, for whatever reason, and I don't want you to feel like that. I'm here for you, John."

John pressed his lips together, patting Alex's leg. "That's sweet, Alex, but really, I'm fine."

"Can't you just miss your shift and I can make up being such an annoying little bitch to you?" Alex complained.

John rolled his eyes as he stood, not really in the mood for Alex in general at the moment. "Nope. Gotta go. Goodbye."

"John," Alex moaned. "Don't be like that."

"Yeah," John mumbled, walking out of the room. He briefly stopped by Phillip's room to offer a kiss on the forehead, and then walked downstairs and out the door, not even grabbing a coffee since Alex had eaten up that time.

John made it to the subway just in time, just barely getting on as the doors closed. The train was on time, as usual, and John got off, walking the couple blocks he needed to and arriving at the bar. He walked inside, putting on his apron and clocking in. Sally was dancing, and John was serving drinks as always. The shift went by quickly, and soon enough, Sally's was over, and she was walking out with her clothes on.

"Sally, wait," John started. "Hey, listen, do you wanna go wait for me at that one spot in Central Park? I'll bring some coffees. I feel like we could both use a bit of a vent session."

"John, you have no idea how great that sounds. I'll run back to my place and grab a shower, then I'll meet you there, alright?" Sally smiled.

John nodded, wiping his eyes of the sleep that still rested in them. "Yes, perfect."

The rest of his shift went by, and soon enough he was grabbing the coffee and strolling through Central Park to the place him and Sally meet for coffee after work sometimes. John found her on a bench, and sat down next to her handing her the coffee.

"Rough night?" John asked.

"Oh boy," Sally laughed bitterly. "Peggy is not happy with me."

"You gonna quit your job?" John asked.

"Oh, I don't know," Sally mumbled. "I don't have to. That's not what Peggy is mad about really. She told me she got it, and she trusted me not to do anything that wasn't in the job description. She was mad that I told her I worked as a bartender and not a stripper. Can you blame me though? I meet a cute girl whose religion is, well, it's different when it comes to sexual things, and you think I'm gonna tell her I'm a stripper on the first date? Granted, I should've told her eventually, but oh, things were going so well, and I was just, I was so happy for once, and I didn't want to ruin anything."

"She'll get over it," John promised. "She does really like you, and shit like this happens sometimes. She's hurt, but now that it's all in the open."

"Speaking of all in the open," Sally started. "How's sugar daddy? Pissed?"

"Honestly, Sal, I wish I knew," John laughed. "I mean, he was annoyed with me last night, and mad, and I told him about the deal with Frances, and then when it was later and we were in bed, he asked about everything else, and I told him I didn't want to talk about it, but he kept pushing, so I spent the night in the guest bedroom."

"He kicked you out of his room?" Sally asked, creasing her brows together.

"I kicked myself out of his room," John corrected. "He was being annoying. Anyway, this morning, I get up and I go back to get changed, and he's sitting upright, asleep, with his laptop in front of him, so I try to get him into a more comfortable position, and he pulls me onto the bed with him. I mean, I didn't really stop him. It's a pretty weak protest. Anyway, he starts grinding against me and kissing my neck, and I'm pretty into it at first, but then I get all serious and use my dad voice and tell him to stop. Then he apologizes but he's acting really clingy and just, I dunno, he's acting weird."

"I don't understand men," Sally mumbles.

"Me neither," John replied sipping his coffee. "I don't see what the big deal is, though. He's gone this long without knowing, so does it really matter? I don't see why my life is so interesting."

"Well, he loves you, John," Sally stated casually.

John choked, spitting out his coffee onto the sidewalk in front of their bench and hacked like a smoker. "What the hell, Sally? You can't just say shit like that."

"Oh, I thought you knew," Sally laughed, pounding John's back.

"There's nothing to know, because he doesn't love me," John argued, sitting back against and drinking some coffee.

Sally groaned. "Men are so dense. What is with you and your fear of commitment?"

"Fear? I'm not scared of commitment, I'm fine with commitment. It's not a problem with me, I can do it whenever I want," John defended.

"Alright, in five months of dating, have you and Alex had the 'where is this going' conversation?" Sally asked.

" _No_ , we've only been dating five months," John shot back.

"Alright, in five months of dating, have you told Alex once, once, that you take the relationship as seriously as I _know_ you do?" Sally went on.

John was quiet.

"Have you opened up to Alex? Have you told Alex you love him? Have you let yourself be vulnerable around Alex? Have you really cried in front of Alex? Have you talked to him about your eating? Have you literally said anything ever about yourself?" Sally listed.

"There's nothing about my eating to talk about," John scoffed.

Sally rolled her eyes. "I don't have enough college psychology credits to unpack all of this, John, but I know for a fucking fact that you are scared of commitment. The long haul. The big ‘I do’. The L word." Sally stared at John, her drink in her hand. "I think this whole thing was exactly what you needed John. Now Alex has just enough information to ask questions, and you have to face your fear of being vulnerable with romantic partners."

"Anyone who's seen my dick and heard my origin story needs to die," John mumbled. "I don't feel like killing Alex, and he's already seen my dick. Besides, I don't have a fear of commitment, so it doesn't matter."

Sally groaned. "Why do you deny the fact that you got issues, dude? Everyone has issues. I have issues, Peggy has issues, Alex has issues, and so do you. I know you like to be the stoic hero who saves the day, but even Peter Parker was an orphan and Batman was an orphan and Iron man was an alcoholic. You're allowed to have issues."

"No, I'm not," John chuckled, looking at Sally. "I have a kid I need to take care of."

"So does James and the dude _actively_ wants to kill himself," Sally scoffed. "Look, John, I'm not a therapist, but you should listen. You have serious commitment issues, and you need to realize that you're allowed to have shit go on and still be an awesome parent. I'm prescribing you a pair of balls, because obviously growing yours aren’t working."

"Wow, you're not a therapist? I couldn't tell," John remarks sarcastically.

Sally smiled, patting his shoulder. "Alex really likes you, John."

"Good for him," John commented.

Sally sighed. "Look, if you aren't really taking things seriously, then you gotta tell him. Alex is _smitten_ with you."

John tilted his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I do, I really like Alex. He's, he's great, Sally. I mean, he tries to cook, he makes me coffee, he's sweet to me and my kid. He's really easy to be around, I just..." John groaned, looking at his friend. "I'm really bad at relationships, okay? Especially ones that like, mean something. You're right, alright? I don't like commitment, I don't like being vulnerable. I just, my whole life _I_ was the strong one. I was the one who helped raise my siblings after my mom died, I was the one who raised Phillip, I was the one who did the things no one else could. I don't, I don't want to stop being the strong one."

"John, you did all of that _with issues_  and problems," Sally sighed, patting John's knee. "Alex is not going to think less of you. Did you think less of Alex when he told you his shit?"

John shook his head. "No, no of course not. Alex, he, he's been through so much, and he's still the person he is today. I could never think little of that."

"Exactly," Sally huffed. "Alex is not going to be any different, I promise. John, I think you really need someone who you can be vulnerable and open with. I mean, everyone does. I know you kinda talk to Maria, and you're back in touch with Martha, which is good. Just, I worry about you, as any amazing friend, such as myself, does, and I want you to know that it's okay to let yourself be happy and to let yourself be sad. No one is gonna be mad at you for feeling emotions."

John sighed, taking Sally's hand. "Did Peggy tell you any of the other bullshit before I came over?"

Sally nodded. "Mentioned you being close with friends, too close, talked about the awkward thing you do when shit gets too real for you, said something about your father. I'm sorry this is happening, John, you really don't deserve it."

John groaned, rolling his eyes. "Just what I get for fucking around and getting engaged."

Sally chuckled and squeezed John's hand. "You know I love you like a brother, so sometimes I have to remind you to not be an idiot. Just, you got a good thing going with Alex, and I would hate to see it all fucked up because of stupid Frances. Lord knows the man has given you enough grief about this. You got this, John."

"I do."

Meanwhile, back at the house, Alex was Googling John, trying to find Facebook, Instagram, something. He was all for respecting privacy, but he was just too curious about this. Alex was left unsatisfied when the only things he found were dance things and talk of Henry Laurens, John's father, who was apparently a big senator down in South Carolina.

"Did you find anything?" Lafayette asked as Alex sighed. The two were facetiming, since Alex needed to vent, and Lafayette was a good secret keeper.

"No, nothing interesting. I can't even find a fucking photo of the dude before he was twenty. He was tagged in a few things on Facebook, but I'd have to like, make a friend request to actually see his account, which has probably been long since abandoned." Alex sighed. "Lafayette, it's literally killing me."

"What is?" Herc asked from the distance, coming in and sitting down.

"Alex and John ran into John's ex yesterday, and John's ex said a bunch of shit about John, and John won't talk about it, so now we're trying to figure anything out that we can," Lafayette answered.

"Great secret keeper you are, Laf," Alex mumbled.

"Hey, don't do that," Herc started. "It's none of your business. John doesn't like to talk about shit, and you need to respect that. Close the tabs."

Alex sighed, exiting the tabs he’d opened. "But I want to know! I feel like I have a right to know since the dude is living under my roof."

Herc rolled his eyes so far into the back of his head that he could see his brain cells dying. "There's a thing called privacy and trust issues, and John is allowed to have both."

"Come on, Herc, you must know something," Alex begged. "Tell me about his father."

"No," Herc answered. "Look, John has known me for five years, and I barely know shit. Don't get all pissy because your boyfriend of five months has trouble opening up to you. I know you've done a lot for John, and I know he appreciated it, but he doesn't owe it to you to make himself uncomfortable. Lafayette, you and I will be having a whole other conversation about you encouraging Alex to try and stalk one of my best friends. For now though, Alex, you just need to leave this alone. He'll talk when he's ready."

Lafayette flipped Alex off through the camera.

"It seems like he's never gonna be ready," Alex groaned.

Herc shrugged. "Then deal with it. Everyone has secrets, Alex, and just because you're dating someone doesn't mean you're obligated to tell them everything. I mean, I have secrets that Lafayette doesn't know, you have secrets that John doesn't know, it's only fair that John has secrets that you don't know. He can be difficult sometimes, I know, believe me, but that doesn't give you an excuse to stalk him. Just, when he's ready, he'll say something."

"When will he be ready though?" Alex complained.

Herc shrugged, wiping some wet paint onto his cheek on accident. "Time will tell."

"Herc, darling, you got a little something," Lafayette smiled, licking his thumb and wiping away some of the paint.

"Alright, well, this just got too weird for me, so I'm gonna let you two do whatever you want to do. I'll stop trying to stalk John, I promise." Alex sighed. "Bye, guys."

"Goodbye!" Lafayette sang, hanging up, and most likely leaning down to kiss Hercules.

Alex groaned, leaning back and sipping his coffee. He wanted John to come home. Alex would be lying if he said his actions this morning weren’t embarrassing, but in his defense, waking up while heavily medicated with Ambien made him loopy. It was eight, so John had gotten off his shift an hour ago, but he’d send a text saying that he was getting coffee with Sally.

At around eight thirty, John stumbled through the door, tired obviously. His hair was in a messy bun, and he just looked beautiful. That was the only way Alex could think to describe it. John was drop-dead gorgeous, and Alex couldn't tell if he wanted to kiss John or fuck John. Either one would be fine.

Alex's heart leaped when John came over and gently hugged Alex, burying his face in Alex's neck. The man smelt like liquor and cigarette smoke, but it was nice to be held. Alex hugged John back easily, standing up from his stool at the counter so John didn't have to bend over as much. It was sweet, and at that moment, everything was fine.

"I know I'm not easy," John mumbled into his shoulder. "I have issues I'm trying to work through, and it's taking longer than I wished. I want to be the best I can for you, and I'm really trying."

"I know," Alex nodded.

"I'm sorry I can't talk about things yet," John went on. "I know I should, but I just, I feel like if I do, it's going to become a shit hole."

"I shouldn't have asked you to get over everything at once and talk to me about everything," Alex stated. "I'm okay with baby steps. I'm okay with the little things, little steps, just as long as we're taking steps at all, alright?"

John nodded and sighed, breathing in the scent of Alex. "My first baby step is telling you I have trouble with commitment."

"Would it be mean to say no shit?" Alex chuckled.

"But, but I'm trying with you," John insisted. "I am. I take this relationship seriously, and it's not just a fling. I know I change the subject whenever things get too deep, but I'm going to work on that, alright? I'm still upset with you, but it'll pass. It's just how my emotions are sometimes. I still absolutely adore you, Alexander Hamilton."

"And I adore you too, John Laurens," Alex mumbled, sighing sweetly. "One step at a time, and I'll be here for you. I'll be here for you just like you're here for me. This is not a one-way street, John. Anything you would do for me, I would do for you."

"Thank you for being so understanding about this. Frances, he didn't get it. He pried the information from me, and it was like pulling teeth. I just, thank you. Thank you for waiting." John pressed his forehead to Alex's.

"Hey." Alex gently kissed John's lips. "I'm not Frances, nor will I ever be. I want you to be happy in this relationship, and I’m going to go out on a limb and say you weren't with Frances."

"Oh boy, I wasn't," John laughed, running his fingers through John's hair.

"I don't want that, John. I want you to be happy with me." Alex kissed John's lips again.

John smiled, pulling Alex closer. "I am, darling, I really am."


	16. Maria is not having it and Alex is getting it

Three days had passed since the Frances incident, and John was struggling. He couldn't eat, barely slept and was in constant fear that Frances was about to come back and hurt his son again. John arrived early to pick Phillip up, and always made sure Phillip got inside before leaving. John knew he really needed to eat, but guilt and anger and hurt were pooling in his stomach, and anything he tried to stomach would come up.

Alex had become hyper-aware of how little John was eating. He was obsessed with the bags under John's eyes, and the space between him and John when they slept. John looked sad, and Alex hated Frances for it. The man tried to act so innocent, but it was obvious he’d left some very lasting scars on John. Alex had begun gripping John's hand at night, trying to offer what little comfort he could.

The Tuesday evening after seeing Frances, was rough for John. His head was spinning, and he felt like he was really getting sick. He hadn't felt like this in years. His stomach ached and he felt like someone was cutting open his skull with a dull machete. Phillip was aware that John wasn’t feeling well, but there wasn’t a whole lot that he could do as a six year old, so the kid sat downstairs watching cartoons while John laid down for a little bit. John was curled up, shaking. He wanted to sleep, but he couldn't.

"Hey, John. Hey! Whoa." Alarm quickly infected Alex’s voice as he took in John’s state. "Jesus, you look terrible. What's going on?"

"My head hurts," John mumbled. "I just need to lay down for a little bit. I'm fine, don't worry about me, Alexander."

"John," Alex sighed, but his eyes were wide, and his brow creased. He went into the closet and found another blanket for John, knowing that the thin sheet covering John was not sufficing. "I'm gonna heat you up some chicken broth, honey. It'll be easy on your stomach."

John nodded, pulling the blanket Alex had laid over him up to his chin.

Alex kissed John's temple before walking downstairs. He heated up some chicken broth, adding a bit of salt and pepper, then dumped it in a mug and brought it up to John, who was still shivering and curled up.

"Okay, there we go," Alex murmured as he helped John sit up. Alex sat down on the side of the bed and handed the mug to John, making sure he took a sip before standing up and getting a bottle of Aleve. "For your head. What do you think is going on? I mean,, you haven't eaten very much in the past few days, I think you should get a real meal."

"I feel so nauseous though," John croaked, sitting the chicken broth. "I feel like shit, really. I didn't get half drop of sleep last night, and I just, I feel like shit."

"Awh, honey," Alex sighed, rubbing John's leg. "Okay, it's okay. I'm gonna get you a heating pad for your stomach. I have one in the closet." Alex got up and began rummaging for the heating pad. "Do you need another blanket?"

"No," John mumbled, taking a mouthful of the broth.

"Alright," Alex sighed as he got the heating pad out and plugged it in, then handed it to John. "Hey, I'll handle dinner and stuff for Phillip, alright? You just, you stay here tonight. Rest-- you really need it. Maybe you should take off from your shift tomorrow morning? It might help, the extra sleep, especially since you'll be teaching classes all day."

John shook his head. "No, I'll be fine."

Alex sighed softly and leaned in, kissing John's cheek. "I'm worried about you. Maybe you should go see a doctor? You just, you don't look well, and it's worrying me. I want you to feel well, but you aren't. Is there anything I can do?"

John shrugged, his eyelids hooding as he took another gulp of the mug. "Can you just sit with me for a little bit?"

"Yeah, yeah, I can," Alex nodded. "Lemme change really quick." Alex changed into a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt, then climbed into the bed, cuddling up to John. He pushed a bit of hair out of the younger man's face, sighing gently as John took a mouthful of the broth. "I'm sorry you feel sick."

John shrugged, drinking a bit more of the mug and finishing it off before setting it down. "I just, I'm just a little shaken. I don't know. I'm sorry."

'It's okay," Alex mumbled softly. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No," John answered plainly, cuddling up into Alex's arms.

"I really think you should," Alex suggested. "Ever since we ran into Frances, you've been sick, and I feel like it's not just the spring bug that's been going around. I'm worried about you, John. I want to help, but I can't if you won't let me."

"Please, Alex, just drop it," John muttered. "I don't want to talk about it. It's fine."

Alex sighed, kissing the side of John's head. "I'm gonna go make dinner for Phillip. Do you want me to give you a sleep aid? I have melatonin from back when I didn't take Ambien, would you like some?"

John nodded. "Thank you."

Alex went and got John the melatonin, then quietly shut the door and left. Alex made Phillip some leftovers and read a book with him, smiling as the kid leaned against him and fell asleep. Alex carried Phillip upstairs, tucking the little kid in before entering his room. John was curled up fast asleep, the heating pad still pressed to his stomach. Alex was thankful John was facing the inside of the bed because that meant Alex could be close to him.

Alex took off his leg, setting it on the floor leaning up against his nightstand, then curled up so he was facing John. Alex sighed as he brushed the hair out of John's face. "What is so bad that you cannot tell me?"

John just adjusted himself a bit in his sleep, hugging the heating pad tighter to his body.

Alex leaned in and gently kissed John's forehead, sighing deeply. "Whatever it is, my dearest John Laurens, I will still adore you just as much as I do right now. I promise."

Alex let his hand slip to John's waist, sighing as he closed his eyes and fell asleep, hoping that tomorrow would be better.

John's morning was an absolute mess. He woke up late for his shift at the bar, and the melatonin hadn't totally worn off, but since he was late, he didn't have time to get coffee, and John found himself sneaking an unholy amount of espressotinis. Then, Sally got vomited on, so he spent a solid thirty minutes of his shift helping her clean off. It's not that he didn't want to help his friend, but he was already nauseous from the amount of coffee he’d had on an empty stomach, and wiping vomit off of his friend's tits wasn’t helping.

He also got home a little late, which meant he was rushing to dance. He almost forgot his dance clothes, and he barely made it to the car on time, apologizing profusely to Alex, who was most likely going to be late. John felt bad, but Alex assured him the meeting he needed to be at didn't start until ten.

When John finally got to his classroom, the only thing he could do was lie on the floor and get his ballet shoes on. He found himself almost on the verge of falling asleep, so he tried to keep his brain busy by playing some music and counting the tiles on the ceiling.

"Hey," Maria greeted, coming in and lying next to him. "When was the last time you had a meal? A real entire meal?"

"Mmf," John mumbled.

"Dude, you've dropped some serious weight in the past few days," Maria pointed out.

"Wow, I am really sick of people pointing out my weight and my eating habits," John laughed sourly. "All week, Alex has been on my ass, trying to get me to eat, Frances said some complete bullshit, and now you. Really, I'm fine."

"Are you, John? Because this is the skinniest I've ever seen you," Maria sighed. "I mean, you seriously need to eat something. Come on, let's go to the break room and get you a snack or something."

"It's just gonna come up anyway," John muttered. "I've tried, but nothing stays down."

"Are you sick?" Maria asked.

"I'm shaken," John answered. "Can we just drop it?"

"Well, no, because I'm actually really worried about you," Maria started. "Like, John, you've always looked at least borderline healthy, but now you just look sick. You need to eat something, seriously."

John sat up as some of his students came in. "I'm fine. I really just need to get home after this and sleep. Really, Mars, just, drop it."

Maria huffed, standing up. "Whatever, John."

John rolled his eyes and stood up, clapping his hands together and beginning to direct his class to stretch. Christmas break was far from over, and spring break was done and finished, so everyone was a little stiff, but they were doing okay. The cracking from some joints made John cringe, but he just made sure everyone was really warmed up.

"Alright, class, how have things been going?" John asked. "Any sprained ankles, pulled muscles, or good news?"

"I got a scholarship to NYU!" One of his students, Sebastian, said.

John smiled, clapping his hands. "Good job Seb! I'm proud of you! Anyone else?"

His class shook their heads, so John smiled and began teaching. "Okay, so, today, we're gonna learn something new! Now, have any of you ever heard the song Raspberry Beret by Prince?"

"Oh, I love that song," one of his students gushed.

"So does my boyfriend," John smiled. "Anyway, I was listening to it and-"

"You have a boyfriend?" Patty asked, eyes wide.

John sighed, rolling his eyes. "Yes, I do. We've been dating for like, almost six months. He's great. Anyway, I was listening to this song, and I thought it would be cool to put together a dance for it, so over the break, I did come up with a dance with a little help from a stripper."

"Is your boyfriend the stripper?" A student asked.

"No, my boyfriend couldn't dance to save his life," John snorted. "Okay, I do believe this is dance class, not 'butt into your teacher's personal life' class. I've told you everything y'all need to know. Now, follow my moves."

John began showing the class the beginning of the dance he worked out. He had begun using Alex's almost empty attic as an area to practice and dance when he wanted to. John was enjoying it thoroughly, and he was enjoying the time he had to be able to dance. There had been a few embarrassing moments when he realized Alex had been sitting on the stairwell, watching him through the railing, and had seen John break out his absolutely ridiculous dance moves to No Scrubs. It was embarrassing, but John had to admit, the way Alex laughed was really cute.

"Okay, and one and two and three and..." John trailed off when his head began to go fuzzy. The edges of his vision began to go white, and his face began to get cold from low blood-pressure. He tried to blink away the offwhite, but it seemed to just take over even more.

"Mr. Laurens, are you-"

The class gasped when John collapsed entirely. Someone ran to get Maria, knowing the two were close, while another student, who had been training to be an EMT in her high school classes, rolled John onto his side just in case he threw up or started seizing. None of them had any idea of what was going on, but luckily, Maria came quickly.

"He needs to be on his back to get the blood back to his head," Maria called out, helping lower John onto his back. "Does anyone have any water or food?"

"I have a granola bar!" A student called out.

"Perfect," Maria sighed. "Someone go get Martha, and I need the rest of you to go hang out in my class. Have a dance off or something with my students."

The students cleared out after one-handed Maria the granola bar, and Maria patted John's cheek, trying to help the blood flow go through his head. She felt mad at herself for not doing something. She should've made John eat, he obviously needed it. She could see the weight loss in his thighs, where she could always see it. He used to be more filled out in college. Never fat, but muscled and healthy. After he dropped out, he got skinnier, but that was just due to lack of money and the fact that he had a kid. This was the skinniest she had ever seen John.

"Mm, Maria?" John mumbled as he slowly opened his eyes. John tried to sit up. "What happened?"

Maria pushed him back down again. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. You need to lie down for a little bit. You just passed out, John."

"Fuck," John mumbled, his eyes dropping a bit.

"Hey, come on, I got some food, you need to eat it," Maria coaxed gently. "Come on, John, please, you really need to eat."

John nodded and slowly pushed himself up, leaning against the wall and letting Maria feed him. He did feel better once the food entered his stomach. Maria was gentle, coaxing him to eat more. John didn't fight, and his head hurt too much to articulate anything anyway. He just listened to her murmurs.

"Hey, hey, John, are you okay?" Martha asked, coming into the classroom.

John nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I just-"

"I'm gonna take him home. He's in no state to be alone right now," Maria cut in.

Martha nodded. "Yeah, yeah, okay. I'll send out an email to your students and tell them that classes have been canceled. I don't have a class right now, so I'll watch over your current students. Maria, please keep me updated."

"Yea, yeah, of course," Maria nodded. "Come on, John, we're gonna get a cab and go home, alright?"

"Mm, Phillip," John mumbled.

"He's still at daycare until three, come on, John." Maria helped him up and let him lean against her as they changed their shoes and walked out of the building. Since it was midday on Broadway, there were cabs everywhere, and Maria and John had no problem finding an empty one. Maria sat up front to keep the cabbie entertained while John drifted in and out of consciousness in the back seat.

"Come on, Johnny," Maria coaxed, helping John out of the cab when they got to John's house. John groaned, almost knocking her over, but carefully walked inside. He was confused when Maria led him up to the bathroom, but practically jumped out of his socks when he saw her get out the bathroom scale.

"No," John said firmly, but his voice was too shaky to be convincing.

"Yes," Maria answered. "You will stand on it facing away from the number so you can't see, and I will be the only person looking."

"Maria, this is stupid. Leave it alone," John snapped.

"Dammit, John!" Maria yelled, her voice cracking.

John froze. He never did well when women cried.

"You are my best fucking friend, and I feel like I'm watching you wither away right in front of me! You don't talk to me, and you're obviously in denial about all of this, so I'm going to help! I want you to step on the fucking scale, and I'm am going to be the only one who looks at it! Stop acting like a child!" Maria looked down, biting her lip and wiping her cheek. "I'm not going to lose you, John."

John nodded slowly and got on the scale, facing away from the number, closing his eyes. It took a second, but he heard Maria sigh and pull him off the scale. John stood there feeling guilty as Maria pressed her forehead against John's shoulder. It was quiet in the bathroom as John pulled Maria into a hug.

"Come on," Maria mumbled, pulling John out of the bathroom. "I'm gonna make you food and some coffee, and we're gonna talk."

"Wait, Maria, what did it say?" John asked.

"Doesn't matter," Maria mumbled. "What would you like to eat?"

"I'm not really that-"

Maria turned around, and if looks could kill, John would've dropped dead right there.

"Anything is fine," John sighed.

The kitchen was dead silent as Maria cooked. John was left there to sit and soak in guilt as Maria banged pots around a little too loudly while making him inhuman amounts of pasta. She didn’t saying anything, but he knew she was hurt. He didn't protest when she set a plate of pasta with parmesan cheese and butter on it. He just took a bite.

"Now, we're gonna talk about what the hell has been going on, because John, like, I don't really know if you realize this, but you look terrible," Maria stated, sitting down. "Does this have something to do with Frances? Oh, who am I kidding, of course, it does. What's going on? What has been going on? You've seemed to always struggle with eating, and I just, I can't sit by anymore. We gotta talk about this."

"Maria I really don't want to," John mumbled, looking down at the plate in front of him.

"Tough titty," Maria laughed. "I know you have this whole mysterious dark horse thing going on. And like, whatever, be like that with other people, but not with me. Besides Martha, I'm the only person who's really known you this long, so you gotta be honest to me about this, because right now, you're acting like you have anorexia, and you know what? I am not afraid to call an ambulance for you. They will admit you for malnourishment, and you will have to explain to your son why you're hooked up to IVs."

"Maria, that's too far, don't bring Phillip into this," John snapped, slamming his fork down.

"No, John, you don't seem to understand this," Maria rammed on. "Phillip is already in this because you are his father! What if you're walking with Phillip in the park and suddenly it's just-" Maria snapped her fingers. "-Lights out. What are you gonna tell him?"

"Maria that's not going to happen," John groaned.

"You don't know that. You don't know what's going to happen. John, you have a problem, and honestly, I have no idea what to do about it if you won’t talk about it! Everyone is worried! Everyone cares about you! What are you so afraid of? What do you think is going to happen?"

"I don't know!" John burst out. "I don't know! Just leave it alone! I don't like talking about it, okay Maria? Why are you pushing this so much?"

"Uh, gee, I don't know, maybe because I walked into your classroom and you were passed out on the floor?" Maria yelled. "John, you could get _fired_ for this, do you get that? Martha loves you, I know she does, but she's not going to keep a teacher who passes out every couple of classes. Look, John, I don't know what the fuck has been going on with you lately-"

"It's just because of Frances and-"

"But here's the thing!" Maria threw her hands up. "It hasn't been in just these four days. Recently, you've been off. You've been kinda moody, snippy, tired. That's not like you. I look at you and I just see you get thinner and thinner, and you know what? I always told myself, I always told myself that as long as you were looking okay, it was fine. You were okay. But now? Now you're passing out, so it's not just Frances, John! What the hell is going on? You gotta tell me."

"I don't have to tell you anything," John snapped.

"Alright, then you can tell the EMT's in the ambulance I'm gonna call," Maria stated, pulling out her phone.

"You're not serious," John scoffed. "You wouldn't."

"Ohhh, but I would. I have done it before, and I will do it again. You can tell me, or you can tell a doctor who's giving you a mental evaluation because you're five pounds underweight!"

John paused. "I'm underweight?"

"Yes!" Maria gasped. "Yes, you are underweight, John. You are officially not healthy!"

John looked down at the food Maria made him. "I haven't been underweight in years."

Maria sighed, sitting down next to John. "I'm not going to let my best friend wither away. You gotta tell me."

"I really don't want to," John admitted, looking at her.

"Then who else? John, I'm not here to belittle you, to make you feel weak for whatever you're going through. I'm here to help. I can't help though when you're acting like a stubborn culo, so you gotta tell me what's going on," Maria stated.

"I don't starve myself on purpose-"

Maria laughed. "Don't give me that excuse! Forgetting, or fast metabolism or some shit, because I'm not buying that."

"Maria, this is really hard for me, so I would appreciate if you didn't interrupt me," John mumbled, gripping his fork tightly. Maria shut up, so John continued. "I don't starve myself on purpose anymore." John sighed, biting his lip. "I was an overweight child, I was. I wasn't, I wasn't obese or anything, I was just chubby. I have been dancing since I was nine, so I mean, you can imagine how I felt when I realized that there are no chubby dancers. I made a goal to lose some weight when I was thirteen, because like, I thought it would make me a better dancer and more graceful. I mean, my weight had really nothing to do with it, I just needed to practice. Anyway, I made a goal to lose weight. At first, I was, I was really good. I mean, I ran, I cleaned up my diet, and I got really good at all that too. Then, then I started to really enjoy the euphoria that came when I saw that I lost weight."

"John," Maria mumbled softly.

"Yeah, and I just thought, I just thought a few extra pounds wouldn't do any harm because I mean, it was just a few pounds, right?" John swallowed hard, trying to keep his breathing. "Five pounds became ten, ten pounds became twenty. I was skinny, really skinny. If you think this is bad, then you and never seen my photos of me in high school. At fifteen I was hospitalized. I was five foot nine and barely a hundred and ten pounds. When I was released, I didn't, I didn't get therapy or anything. I got the back of my father's hand and him telling me to grow up. I didn't, I couldn't do anything to stop myself. I just, it was an addiction. I would dance and work out until I vomited and lost consciousness. My hair was falling out in clumps, the enamel on my teeth was fucked from how much I had been throwing up, I was covered in bruises. I literally developed anemia from how much I starved myself."

"What got you to stop?" Maria asked slowly.

"Well, I mean, I didn't even want to stop. I could've kept going. Maria, I would've let it kill me, and really, for about a year of my life, that was my goal. I have scars on my ribs from self-harming for eating. Then, then I was offered a scholarship to NYU. I had to be in a specific weight class though, to qualify and keep the scholarship, and I just, I knew it was my only chance to get somewhere, so I gained the weight. I was two pounds above the minimum, and they gave me the scholarship."

"So, so why are you still..." Maria trailed off.

"It's not like I'm trying, I'm really not. I just, it's so hard to stop." John let out a shaky sigh. "I have been able to improve a lot of things about my life for Phillip. I really cleaned up my diet, I learned how to keep things organized, I got financially responsible, Hell, I stopped drinking as much, and you know how much I could drink. I have tried my hardest to keep myself fed, I really have. I know that seems like bullshit, but I have. I wanted to be a good example for my son, never let him think he has to, he has to hurt himself to be beautiful or to be happy." John coughed, trying to blink away tears. "I don't, I just, I hate talking about this. I hate it. I hate thinking about all this stuff."

"Well, John," Maria started. "You need to talk about this. Now I know what the deal is, and I can help. I want to help. I want to be there for you through all of this. But..." Maria gently patted John's thigh as he took a bite of his food. "I think you should tell Alex."

"No," John replied instantly. "He'll just worry."

"John, buddy, I don't know if you know this, but Alex is already worried," Maria pointed out slowly. "He called me last night and asked me to make sure you ate something today. He sounded really worried, and I think being honest with him is only going to help. Alex wants to help, I know he does, you just need to let him."

"I've kept all of this to myself for years. Frances only knew because he forced it out of me like some kind of Russian torture method. Maria, I know, I know I haven't been doing well with this, I know, but I can figure it out. I just, I don't want to worry Alex. He seriously has enough on his plate already between his ptsd, and work and shit."

"Alex needs to know," Maria insisted.

"I need to know what?" A voice asked.

John jumped, looking over to see his boyfriend standing there, briefcase under his arm. "Alex! What are you doing home so early?"

"The only reason I went into work was for a meeting and it was canceled, so I can do my work from home, what's going on?" Alex set down his briefcase and approached Maria and John. "What do I need to know?"

Maria sighed, gently patting John's knee. "You need to tell him."

"Mars," John groaned.

"John has something he really needs to tell you, and it's important that you listen and, apparently, don't interrupt," Maria told Alex. She looked back to John, sighing. "It's gonna be okay."

"You owe me a beer and at least three shots of tequila for this," John grumbled.

"Make it four and I'll think about it," Maria smiled. "Hey, I'm gonna pick up Phillip and we're gonna have a nephew and aunt night where we get our nails done and eat at some gentrification-cafe. I'll drop him off around eight? See you at work tomorrow, and I want proof you ate breakfast."

John flipped her off but she just smiled as she left.

"So," Alex started.

John gave a sarcastic smile, nodding his head a little bit. "Sit down, will you?"

Alex sat down, and John told him what he told Maria. John told him about how hard it was in high school, the hospitalization, his father's reaction, why he stopped, what's been going on. John told Alex about how Frances, while awful, did make sure he ate enough. John even went so far as to tell Alex about what happened at work today. By the time John was done, he felt like he had thrown up all over Alex. He regretted every word that left his mouth, especially when he saw the confused look on Alex's face.

"So, you were anorexic," Alex stated.

"No, I don't, I don't like calling myself that," John huffed, crossing his arms. "I just had some self-esteem issues."

Alex nodded slowly, running his tongue across his teeth. "So you're not naturally this skinny."

"Okay, my family in themselves have always been lean and tall, but I just, I'm skinnier than normal. Most of the men in my family have stronger builds than I do, and most dancers are thicker. I know, I know I have an issue, I'm just trying to figure it out." John sighed, looking down.

"I wish you had told me sooner," Alex admitted, sighing. "It makes me sad to know that you've been trying to deal with this alone."

"See, this is why I didn't want to tell you at all, because you're just gonna get sad and worried, and I was handling on my own just fine, I just, I didn't want to hurt you," John stated.

Alex shook his head and gently took John's hand in his own. "Well, I'm less worried now that you're being honest about this. I want to help."

"I've tried everything, Alex. The stupid books and whatever, this shit is just, it's not easy," John huffed, playing with Alex's fingers. "I'm just so tired of feeling like this. I feel like a failure. I feel tired and cold, and I just want it to stop."

"Hey, shh, no, it's okay," Alex said calmly. "Do you want to gain the weight?"

John nodded. "It's just, it's hard. I feel so scared. I never want to be overweight again."

"Hey, hey, don't worry," Alex mumbled, kissing John's knuckles. "When I finally got discharged from the army, I didn't really eat for a year. It was hard for me to get good about nutrition after that, but I had Washington helping me. It's a lot easier to get through something when you have someone who wants to help. And I want to help." Alex sighed, running his fingers across the scar on the palm of John's hand. "We can figure this out."

"We can?" John sniffled. He hadn’t realized he’d been crying.

Alex nodded. "We can help you eat better, we can keep you healthy. We'll figure out what works best for you. John, I want to be there for you. I'm not gonna leave you. I'm not gonna push you, or make you uncomfortable. You can always talk about this, and if you need space, I'll give you space. I want to help."

John sighed, resting his forehead against the crook of Alex's neck. "I'm sorry for being so high maintenance. I just, I'm sorry."

"Shh, it's okay," Alex mumbled. "I'm here, I got you. It’s never a trouble when it’s you."

John closed his eyes and let himself be held by Alex for a little bit. He breathed in the sweet smell of Alex's cologne. John found himself burying his face in Alex's neck a bit more, taking a slow breath and smelling the... what was it? Sandalwood? Cedar? No, it wasn't. John wanted to figure this out, but he figured he probably shouldn't just sniff his boyfriend like a wild dog.

"What kind of cologne do you wear?" John asked. "I like it."

"Frankincense," Alex answered. "Do you wanna go upstairs to our room? I feel like we'd be a little more comfortable."

John nodded and the two of them stumbled upstairs. John's head still hurt from the lack of food, so he managed to grab his plate and eat as he walked upstairs. The guilt about Frances was still pooling in his stomach, but the guilt about how Maria cried was strong enough to keep the food down. Alex made sure John ate the whole plate as they sat in bed, and Alex turned on some Netflix so they weren’t sitting in awkward silence, and John didn't feel like he was being observed.

"Fuck, Maria is a good cook," John mumbled as he set the plate on his nightstand. Alex cuddled closer to John, sighing as John. John sighed, running his fingers through Alex's hair. "Are you mad at me?"

There was a pause. "No."

"Are you sure?" John pressed, not buying Alex's weak lie.

"I'm just, I'm a little upset still. It's been a rough week for us, babe, in case you hadn't noticed," Alex mumbled. "I miss you. I feel like we've been out of sync, and I feel like we've been distant."

John nodded. "Probably that's mostly my fault."

"John, I want you to feel like you can be honest with me. There's very little about my life that you don’t know, and I want it to be the same the other way around."

John sighed. "I know, I know. I just, I really struggle with trusting people and committing to relationships. Most of my life, I was told that I was on the back burner. That my opinion didn't matter, and my feelings didn't matter. Between Martha's physical and emotional therapy, Jemmy's surgeries, Mary's issues, Henry's hearing, I just, I got so used to dealing with things on my own, to not being important. I've never had a normal relationship Alex. They've always been toxic, and like, the moment things got serious, I would bolt, leave, cheat."

Alex cocked his head, wondering if he counted as serious.

"Frances was the first relationship I had that lasted longer than six months," John went on. "I mean, it wasn't like he fixed my commitment issues. Oh boy, he didn't even come close. He proposed to me in public, and I felt like I had to say yes." John sighed, taking Alex's hand. "I mean, a long time before the breakup, I had started talking to Herc about how I wanted to leave Frances if that gives you an idea of how little I actually liked the guy." John swallowed. "I mean, Alex, I'm trying."

"I know," Alex nodded.

"And I know I jump out of my skin every time you even mention our relationship being important and serious, but I just, I want you to know that I agree. I mean, Alex, I'm not trying to waste your time and just fuck around. You, you mean something to me. And I don't want to sound like I'm rushing into things, but, I mean, this relationship means something to me. I take it seriously." John sighed, gripping Alex's hand. "I really like you, Alex. You need to know what I mean it when I say that. I want to be with you, and even though I'm really bad at showing that sometimes, I just, I do. I like being with you, Alexander."

Alex leaned in, gently kissing John. "I like being with you too, Johnathan." Alex shut his laptop, then gently climbed onto John's lap, straddling him. "If it's hard for you to break down your walls, then that's okay. John, I'm okay with baby steps, I really am, but if it's something that is directly affecting your health, like this, then I'd prefer to know. Is there anything else that Maria would make you tell me?"

John thought, and he thought hard. "I don't think so. Uh, if I remember something, I'll tell you. Do you have anything like this you need to tell me?"

Alex shrugged and shook his head. "I think you know everything. Recovering alcoholic, chronic pain. Sometimes I have a bad reaction to dairy, but that's just because I'm from the Caribbean and a lot of people from that area have lactose intolerance."

"Great, so I don't eat, and you get stomach aches when you have dairy, power couple."

Alex chuckled, resting his head against John's shoulder. "We're gonna be okay. We've been off, but every couple has off moments. We're gonna figure this out."

"I don't want us to be like you and Eliza," John sighed.

Alex shook his head. "You are absolutely nothing like Eliza."

John sighed and pressed his lips to Alex's. "Can we just kiss?"

Alex nodded and returned the kiss. His fingers ran through John's loose hair, and began to moan as John squeezed his ass through his work pants. Alex worked off his tie, then began messing with the buttons on his shirt so that his torso was only covered by a slim white tee shirt.

"Off," John mumbled as he tugged at Alex's belt.

Alex smiled against John's lips, taking off his belt and unbuttoning his pants. John attempted to flip both of them over, but greatly overestimated the amount of space Alex had to lie down. Cringing at the sound of Alex's head hitting the headboard, John gasped and bit his lip, looking down at his chuckling boyfriend with wide eyes.

"Ow," Alex snorted, rubbing his head.

"Shit, sorry," John gasped.

Alex scooted down a bit so his head was safely on the pillows before pulling John down for another kiss. Alex’s kiss became feverish, and he scrambled to pull John’s shirt over John’s head as John struggled with Alex’s belt buckle. Their breathing became more erratic, Alex's nails digging into John's shoulder blades as the younger man ground into him. The older man felt almost overwhelmed; from the way John was grinding into him to the way John was sucking on his tongue, nipping at his bottom lip.

"Ah, John," Alex gasped.

"Are you okay?" John’s brows creased, pulling away.

Alex nodded, sighing as he rested his hand on John's cheek. "Yeah, no, I’m fine. I was thinking, maybe we should go out. Maria said it herself, she's keeping Phillip until eight, and besides, we've only ever gone out twice."

"Right now?" John whined, his eyes drifting back to Alex’s swollen lips.

"No, we could head out around five, and it's about what, ten thirty? We have time. What would you like to do, Laurens?" Alex teased, his fingers trailing down John's smooth back.

"Do you wanna have sex?" John asked, dragging his gaze up to meet Alex’s.

Alex started at the question. "Sex?"

John chuckled, kissing Alex's chin. "Yes, sex. I mean, if you don't, that's cool. It's just, I dunno, we've never really done it and maybe now would be a good time. We have the house to ourselves, and we just both admitted that we really see this relationship going somewhere and I dunno, maybe I'm being sappy, and if you don't want to, that's cool, since like, the sex I know we both like to have doesn't really fit the mood but-"

Alex rolled his eyes and enveloped John’s lips with his own, wrapping his legs around John's waist. "Ugh, shh."

"Is that a yes?" John clarified, propping himself up. "I want you to want this too. If not, that's totally cool. We could do anything, like checkers, or Rummikub."

"What the hell is Rummikub?" Alex laughed.

"It's a parlor game I used to play when my grandma would come over," John answered. "It's actually really fun. We should get a board real soon, I think you might really like it."

"Okay, this is way off topic. Are we having sex or not?" Alex gasped.

"I dunno, are we?" John asked.

Alex groaned. "You know what? Yes, we're having sex. Come on, let's do this."

John paused, looking at Alex. "Now what?"

Alex laughed, looking at John incredulously, and pulled John into a kiss, lowering John's hips down so he could get a little bit of friction. John took the hint and kissed back, grabbing a handful of Alex's hair and giving it a sharp tug, bringing a moan from Alex. John ground his hips against Alex against, aching to get his joggers off and just be there with Alex.

"Mm, I adore you, John," Alex mumbled as he began working off John's joggers. "And I know you adore me. But please, for God's sake, slap me, choke me, bite me, something. You're killing me over here."

John chuckled, sitting up. "Oh? Is that what you want?"

Alex nodded.

A smirk spread over John's face as he so gently traced his fingertips down Alex's chest. "You want me to touch you? To make you feel good?"

"Please," Alex begged, beginning to sound desperate.

John trails his fingers down to the front of Alex's boxers, where a bulge was growing. "Aw, are you getting hard, baby?" John's fingertips just graced Alex's dick. "It looks like you are." John chuckled as he moved his hands back up to Alex's waist, tugging at the hem of his tee shirt. "You look so desperate."

"Fuck, John, because I am," Alex groaned.

John brought his hand up and gently slapped Alex's cheek. It wasn't hard, and John was looking and waiting for any signs of discomfort before he spoke. "Language. And watch that attitude, or I'll have to fuck it out of you."

"Promise?" Alex smirked.

"Oh, so you’re going to be a brat," John laughed. John smacked Alex’s cheek one more time before grabbing his throat. "I'd be a bit more careful if I were you."

Alex just smiled, biting his lip as he struggled to take in a breath. "Make me."

John raised his eyebrow. "Alright." He pulled Alex's shirt off, and then was quick to get Alex's underwear off too. He had never seen Alex fully naked and had to take a second to appreciate Alex's body. A soft stomach, but still skinny, hair going down from his chest to his stomach and onto the space just before the base of Alex's dick. The man was pretty in his own way. John didn't miss the scars on Alex's chest and arms but decided not to bring them up. "Pretty slut."

Alex arched his back a bit as John began touching him. "Ah, fuck, please."

"You like this, you little whore?" John snarled. "You like it when I touch you?"

Alex nodded, sighing heavily as John's other hand snaked up to his neck against, applying pressure to the sides. Alex gasped, but could still breath. John leaned down for a kiss, grinding against Alex to help relieve the pressure between both of their hips. Alex sighed shakily, pulling down John's joggers. John helped out, pulling them off as well as his boxers, tossing them somewhere in the room. Then John sat up and smacked Alex's thigh roughly, producing a sound from the older man.

"Fuck," John swore as one of Alex's hands trailed between his legs. John bit Alex's lip hard, before kissing down to his neck. John began nipping and biting and sucking at the skin. Alex was letting out small moans and sounds as John bit down a little too hard. Alex's nails were digging into John's shoulders as the younger man kissed him.

"Please, touch me," Alex begged.

John laughed, sitting up, his knees on either side of Alex's hips. "Dirty fucking whore, look at you. So desperate." John slapped Alex again, bringing a small moan from the older man's lips. "What makes you think I wanna touch your dirty cock anyway?"

Alex could only let out a small cry, bucking his hips desperately to try and get any kind of friction.

"Look at you," John chuckled. "So fucking needy and horny for me." John grabbed Alex's cock, giving it a couple of rough tugs, the last tug he dragged his nails along the dick. "Mm, you are so entertaining. Tell me, whore, how long have you wanted me to fuck you?"

"Since I first saw you," Alex whimpered.

"Of course, little skank. And look at you now, legs spread, just for me." John scooped up a bead of Alex's precome, tasting it. "You taste like a whore."

Alex whined, his hips jutting up as if he had no control over them.

"Beg," John commanded.

"Oh, please, John, please, touch me, fuck me, hit me, anything. Please." A sob almost escaped Alex's throat. "Please, please, I'm so hard, I'm so hard for you. Please, anything. I'm so hungry for your cock. Please, please, touch me."

“Turn over.”

Alex turned over, unsure of what was happening. John yanked him onto his hands and knees on the bed. John positioned himself behind Alex, settling one hand on Alex’s hip, and raising the other.

“Ah! John, fuck!” Alex choked out at the first spank.

The next one was harder, and Alex was sure he would have a mark on his ass the next day. Alex tried to hold out, but after a few more blows, he broke down.

“Please, John, please stop! I’ll be good! I’ll be better! I’ll do whatever you ask!”

John gave in, slapping Alex's thigh roughly before giving his cock a few tugs. "Do you have condoms?"

Alex nodded, his eyes rolling back in his head a bit as John flicked his thumb over Alex’s tip. "Nightstand. Top drawer."

John stopped touching Alex to grab a condom. He and Alex were more or less the same size, so the condom would fit him just fine. John grabbed Alex's throat and began kissing the older man again. Alex groaned as John bit down on his tongue. Somewhere between the feverish kissing, Alex’s lip or tongue or something had started bleeding, and the taste of blood seeped into the kiss, but neither of them cared.

"Oh!" Alex squealed when John sat up and pushed the man onto his stomach. John grabbed a handful of Alex's hair, and tugged it sharply. John's head rubbed against Alex's ass, causing both of them to shiver a bit in anticipation. John pulled Alex's hips up so that he was rubbing directly against Alex's entrance. John kissed across Alex's shoulder blade, grinding down hard against Alex's ass.

"Fuck. Such a good whore," John mumbled, biting the side of Alex's neck. "You want me to fuck you? Is that what you want?" John gave another sharp tug to Alex's hair. "Use your words, slut."

"Please," Alex begged.

John ground his dick against Alex's ass again. "How much do you want it? Tell me what you want."

"I want, I want to ride you," Alex moaned. "I want to ride you, and I want you to hurt me, to make me feel good. I want to feel your dick inside of me, so deep. Fuck, John, please, you're killing me over here. I just, I want to make you feel good, please, fuck." Alex cried out as John yanked on his hair again. "Fuck, please, please, whatever you want, just hurt me. Just fuck me. Please, God, fuck."

John rolled off of Alex, propping himself up against the headboard and grabbing Alex's throat to steady himself. "Come on, slut. Ride me, just like you said."

Alex moaned, taking the condom from John's hand and straddling John's thighs. "Fuck, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this. Fuck." Alex rolled the condom on, then jumped as John grabbed his throat. Alex moaned a little bit, letting John pull him up into a kiss.

"There we go," John groaned as Alex pulled away and began adjusting himself. John grabbed Alex's hips, helping guide him down. "Fuck, there we go," John groaned as his tip brushed against Alex's entrance. "Come on, baby."

Alex slowly lowered himself onto John, gasping and putting his hands over John's as he pushed himself down a bit more. John was pretty decently sized, and it had been a little while since anyone had really fucked his ass. He had hooked up with a few women, but hadn't taken it in the ass in a while.

"Fuck, so fucking tight," John croaked, shoving Alex down the rest of the way a little too roughly, bringing a cry from the older man. "Fuck, baby, are you good?"

Alex nodded, his eyes closed. "Just, gimme a second. It's been a while."

John leaned up, kissing Alex to distract him from the pain a little bit. Alex began grinding his hips down as he kissed John. It wasn't exactly thrusting, but it was enough to make the both of them moan. John hadn't really gotten any since the Halloween the year before. It felt good though, Alex was super tight.

Alex began moving up and down slowly, evoking grunts from John. Alex was gasping for air, and it didn't help when John began choking him, but Alex wasn't about to stop him. John had sweat running down his chest as Alex rode him.

"Fuck, fuck, shit!" John cursed as he squeezed Alex's thigh. "Fuck, baby. You're so- fuck!- so fucking tight."

"Ah, fuck," Alex groaned. Alex almost screamed when John jutted his hips up as Alex came down. It was rough, painful, and fucking amazing. He could feel John way deep in his body and it made everything so much hotter. Alex held onto John's wrist as John choked him. The feelings were so real. Alex hadn't had sex like this in years.

"Shit, God, so fucking good," John mumbled, thrusting vigorously. "Shit, fuck, baby. Yeah, fuck, just like that you little whore. Hmm, you like riding my dick, baby? Fuck."

"Uh huh," Alex moaned. "I do, oh, fuck, harder."

John used his free hand and slammed Alex's hips down, grunting a bit as he did so. Alex let out a strangled sob as John repeated the action. The older man had his eyes rolled back into his head. His throat felt raw from the moaning. He was being really loud, and he knew it, but John didn't seem mind.

"Ah!" Alex cried in ecstacy. "Right there! Please, fuck, shit, right there! Yes!"

John kept his hips angled so Alex could get the pleasure he needed. Alex was gasping for air, and John was almost worried about him until Alex put his hand over his and squeezed harder. John was surprised as Alex choked out moans and cries.

"Yes, yes! Fuck!" Alex cried out, beginning to grind his hips down against John's. "Fuck, fuck, yes! Shit!"

John thrusting his hips up against Alex, bringing another cry from the man. He had to admit, the way Alex looked right now was fucking hot. John could've come right then and there, but he wanted to hold out since Alex didn't seem like he was even kinda close. John focused on making sure Alex felt good instead of himself, just to make himself last longer.

"God, John," Alex moaned.

"Alex, you're so fucking tight, fuck," John grunted. "Fuck, you feel so good."

"Oh, God, I'm gonna come," Alex mumbled. "God, I'm getting close, fuck, fuck, John!"

John thrust his hips up and brought a scream from Alex, who's throat was sore and raw. Alex grabbed his cock, beginning to jerk himself off as he ground his hips against John's. John squeezed his hand a little tighter around Alex's throat and smacked his ass.

"Come on, whore," John growled in Alex's ear. "Come for me. I know you want to. I wanna see your dirty cock covered in your come just for me."

"Fuck, John," Alex croaked out.

John pulled Alex's hand out of the way and began jerking the man off. He felt Alex begin to shake and knew he was only a mere couple of seconds away from finishing.

"John, fuck, please, faster," Alex begged, tears coming down his cheeks.

John moved his hand faster, kissing the tears off of Alex’s cheeks.

"Ah!" Alex moaned, gripping John's shoulder as he started coming. John continued moving his hand, letting Alex finish. The older man rested his head against John's shoulder, panting from the impact of the orgasm. John let go of Alex's throat, rubbing Alex's back, letting the man catch his breath.

"Are you good?" John asked softly, planting a kiss on the side of Alex's head.

Alex nodded, sighing heavily, his throat sore and rough. "Fuck, I am so good." Alex found John's lips and began to kiss him. "Mm, John, that was amazing."

John chuckled, gently gripping Alex's hips. "I didn't know you were a screamer."

Alex blushed, placing a kiss on John's lips. "Did you come?"

John shook his head.

"Oh, oops," Alex laughed. "Here, I'll help." Alex lifted himself off of John's cock, gasping at the feeling. He removed the condom, tossing it in the trash, then gently taking John's tip in his mouth, sucking on it slowly.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," John gasped, pushing Alex's head down. "Don't fuck with me like this. Come on, suck it."

Alex hummed as he began bobbing his head, ignoring the aching in his throat. Alex nipped at John's foreskin a bit, then pushed himself down as far as he could go. John grabbed Alex's hair and began fucking his face. Alex was grunting, but doing his best to relax his throat. His hand went to John's balls and squeezed them as John pushed Alex down a bit farther. John was getting closer, and oh man, he was really enjoying this.

"Fuck, yeah, fuck, baby, yeah, just like that," John groaned.

Alex hummed in response, finding John's hand and squeezing it as he choked a bit.

"Yeah, yeah, fuck, I'm gonna come, fuck," John groaned.

Alex began bobbing his head a little faster, feeling spit drip down his chin. John looked like he was in complete ecstasy, and Alex got a lot of pride from that. Alex absolutely adored John, and even if there was no sexual side to the relationship, he still would, but holy _shit_ the sex was great. Alex was glad he hadn’t gotten a dud.

"Fuck!" John moaned as he came. Alex gasped as come filled his mouth. The orgasm was a unexpected, so some of it came out of his mouth and dripped down onto his chin into his scruff, but he did his best to swallow the rest of it, letting John ride out his high.

"Damn," Alex laughed, resting his head against John's thigh. "We really just did that."

"Do you regret it?" John asked worriedly.

"No, no, not at all," Alex assured him. "It's just, it was so much better than I imagined it, you know? I mean, fuck."

John hummed, smiling. "C'mere."

Alex sighed as he climbed up into John's arms, sighing as the younger man held him tightly. It was sweet, despite the come on John's chest and stomach that was going to dry out eventually. They both smelled like sex, and the room seemed warm and humid. John's fingers raked through Alex's hair as the two of them lied there, sighing.

"Don't you have tattoos?" Alex asked. "I've never seen them."

"Oh, uh, yeah, here's one I got like, last year I think," John remembered. He sat up and raised his arm, so not only did Alex get a nice view of his armpit hair, but also a small bird perched on a stick. It was pretty, just line art. Not very big, but nice. John showed his ankle to Alex, where a silhouette of Peter Pan could be seen. "This one was my first one, in college. And then I have this one." John brushed his hair up and turn his head so Alex could see the back of his neck where Phillip's birthday was. "I got this a few weeks after Phillip was born."

Alex nodded. "They're pretty."

"You got any tattoos?" John asked.

Alex shook his head. "Nope. They were never my thing." Alex ran his hand over the tattoo on John's ribs. "They look good on you, though."

"Yeah, I would've gotten more, but I've never had the money, and I just, most dancers aren't really tatted up. It's not a very popular thing to do, which is why I got mine where you can't really see them."

Alex nodded, sighing as he pulled John into a kiss. "I adore you, John Laurens."

"I adore you too, Alexander Hamilton." John sighed and pulled Alex on top of him. "We really should shower. You’ve got come all over your face, and we’ve both got come on our stomachs and chests."

"We should shower together," Alex mumbled.

"I get hard in the shower," John informed him. "Like, it just happens."

Alex laughed, sitting up. "I can work with that."

-

"Where do you even want to go for this date?" Alex asked as he got dressed. "We could get Italian, sushi, hot dogs. There's a Jewish restaurant that I love a lot. Well, it's not a restaurant, it's more of a deli, but it reminds me of being home."

John nodded. "I've never actually had Jewish food."

"Oh, you'll love it," Alex insisted. "Oh, we can get some matzo ball soup, and some knishes. And this place makes a killer apple strudel."

"Why'd you stop being Jewish? You seem to like the culture," John asked.

Alex chuckled as he threw on a flannel over his white tee shirt and jeans. "Well, I can't actually stop being Jewish. By Jewish law, I will always be Jewish. I stopped practicing the Jewish religion because my beliefs were different than it. I took religious studies in college, and I just, I got really educated about many things, and I just, I realized the Jewish religion wasn't something that really connected with me. I still partake in some Jewish traditions, like Passover, and I try to eat kosher when I can. When I'm struggling, I go to Temple. I don't know, I think the main reason I still partake in Jewish things and stuff like that is that my mom was Jewish, and I feel connected to her when I don't eat bread for Passover, or when I'm eating Matzo ball soup. Make sense?"

John nodded as they walked out of Alex's room and down to the front door. "It does. Are we taking an Uber or a subway?"

"Subway," Alex answered as they began walking to the station. "You know, when I first moved to Manhattan, the only reason I would leave the house was to do errands, and I hadn't really ridden the subway ritually, and it was so crazy to get used to."

John chuckled, holding Alex's hand. "Yeah, when I first moved here, I was so thrown off by the city and the subway. It was really intense."

John and Alex made small talk as they made their way onto the subway. It was busy since it was about five on a Wednesday, but Alex and John didn't mind being pressed up against each other. Alex wrapped his arms around John, sighing, while John held the pole. The subway ride was too loud to talk, so they just held each other, John chuckling at the hickeys on Alex's neck.

They changed their train once, John getting a little lost, and Alex gently teasing him as they walked from thirty-fourth street to thirty seconds and got on the train from there. After one more train ride, they were just two blocks away from the second street, so they held hands and walked to the deli.

"Shalom, Yechiel!" Alex called out as he entered the restaurant.

"Alexander! Shalom! Ma nishma?" An older man laughed, coming to the counter.

"Tov, todah," Alex answered. "This is my boyfriend, John Laurens. He’s never had Jewish food, and I thought it is only right that I introduce to him the finest Jewish food in New York."

"Shalom, John, I am Yechiel," the man introduced. "What would you like today?"

"Could we have four squared knishes, two apple strudels, and two bowls of Matzo soup?" Alex requested.

"Certainly. Your total is thirty-four eighty," Yechiel stated, taking Alex's extended card and swiping it on the machine. "Have a seat, it will be out soon."

John and Alex sat in the slightly crowded restaurant, neat the window. John was a little in awe, looking around and taking in the scents of the food. It was really cute. Alex remembered how John grew up in a mostly Christian town and was raised Catholic, so he must have had very little introduction to Jewish culture.

"In Nevis," Alex started. "In Nevis, they had at least a million of these little delis. My momma would send me out for twenty Latkes and Matzo balls every Sunday afternoon after my schooling, and then she would make a very traditional Jewish dinner."

"Did you go to like, Sunday school?" John asked.

Alex nodded. "Yes, I had to learn how to read the Torah so I could have my bar mitzvah. I hated it, but I had to do it or my mother would never get off my back."

"Did you ever have a bar mitzvah?" John asked.

Alex shook his head. "No. My mom was the only one who really pushed me to do that, and well, she died before I was thirteen. I didn't want to really have one at that time, because the only thing being Jewish reminded me of was my mom. I went through my little atheist phase in high school, then found my weird spiritual thing when I started religious studies. I started participating in Jewish traditions after I got out of rehab, but never really started actively practicing the religion again."

John nodded. "Would you ever want to have one?"

Alex shook his head. "God no. Not my thing." Alex sighed, looking around. "The people have always been so kind though. Jews and Muslims get such a bad rap, but like, one of my best friends is Muslim, and she's invited me to prayer, and everyone there was so nice. Then, then when my mom died, it was a huge swarm of Jewish woman who were there for me until I moved to America with my cousin."

"My pastor hated Jews," John commented.

Alex rolled his eyes. "I hate Catholics. No offense, but like, I mean, have you read a history book? They haven't exactly treated Jewish people great."

John took Alex's hand. "I get it. I, uh, I never bought into that crap, just so you know. I've never been anti-semitic or anything, and I've never believed Jewish people were lesser."

Alex smiled. "I know. I figured if you had a thing against Jewish people, we wouldn't be together right now." Alex smiled as Yechiel set down their soup and other food. "Thank you."

"Of course, Sander," Yechiel smiled, leaving.

"Sander?" John mumbled, mixing his soup with his spoon to see what was in it.

"Yeah, it's like, a variation of the name Alexander. I prefer Sander to Sendrush if I'm being honest," Alex laughed, taking a bite. "Don't worry, the soup won't bite. Try it. It's really good, I promise."

John took a bite, then smiled, nodding his head. "Yeah, I like it."

"My momma used to make this stuff by the gallon. I'm sure James has her recipe somewhere," Alex laughed as he took another bite. "Can I put you on my Snapchat?"

"You have a Snapchat? I don't even have Snapchat," John laughed.

Alex nodded. "Yes, I do. I have friends all over the world, and Snapchat is how we keep in touch without actually keeping in touch. You know?"

John chuckled. "Yes, you can put me on your Snapchat."

Alex held up his phone, filming John. "It's his first time eating Jewish."

"Not my first," John commented, smiling.

"Wait, when did you... ooooh!" Alex gasped, laughing. "I get it. Because we fucked."

"Sendrush!" John scolded.

Alex put down his phone, laughing as he posted the video and saved it. "You're really cute, John."

John rolled his eyes, taking another bite of his soup. "So are you. Tell me more about your childhood. I like hearing your stories."

Alex smiled and took a bite of a Matzo ball. "Uh, let's see. Oh, you wanna know the story of my first kiss?"

John nodded, smiling.

"Well, I was fourteen. I had just moved to America, and I was in eighth grade. There was this boy, his name was Asher, and he and I were friends, and one night, I was over at his house, and he kissed me." Alex laughed and blushed. "It was really interesting because we both didn't really know what to do. I mean, it was the nineties, and being anything but straight was this really weird thing, but we ended up kinda just, being together in secret until I moved." Alex ate another spoonful of his soup. "What about you?"

"Uh, her name was Emily Pendleton, I was thirteen, and it was a very steamy session of spin the bottle at Tyler Erikson's house, and we kissed for three seconds and I touched her boobs while doing so." John laughed. "Over the shirt, but it was enough for a thirteen-year-old me to have to go into the bathroom and splash cold water over my face."

Alex chuckled. "Okay, first boyfriend? I know you've had girlfriends, but I want to know who John sexually-repressed Laurens wooed in the boy's locker room."

"His name was Jasper Harrington," John admitted. "He was the guitar player in a band, he had flippy emo hair, and he wore eyeliner. He wrote me sappy emo poetry and compared me to a black rose."

"Oh, man, John had an emo boyfriend? I can't believe that," Alex laughed.

"Don't laugh at me!" John gasped. "It was two thousand eight, the emo and scene was exploding, and there was no way I was gonna die without having at least one emo boyfriend. Although, you're pretty emo."

"Am not!" Gasped Alex. "Hold on, I am so not emo. Give me on an example."

"Uh, Alex, honey, you act like an emo who is trying to hide it," John pointed out.

"Okay, I was a little emo when I was a kid. I was the kid in the back of the classroom drawing broken hearts and writing sonnets in black pen with my hood up," Alex stated. "Those real emo kids annoyed the hell out of me, though. I thought they were so stupid. I mean, they were just so obnoxious." Alex laughed. "Every high school was the same."

"Okay, Jason Dean," John snorted.

"It's true though!" Alex defended. "I mean, you had the same clicks, the same types of people. Same teachers and same curriculum."

"Okay, who were you friends with?" John asked.

"I didn't need friends, they just distracted me," Alex said dramatically.

John laughed, trying to not choke on his soup. "Come on, Alex. Who were you friends with? What click were you in?"

"Okay, I sat with the loner book worms and drug addicts writers in the back of the library," Alex stated. "Every school had a group of people like that. They weren't the stoners, but they did do a fair amount of drugs, and all we would talk about is good books and things we want to write. Those were some nice people to hang out with."

"Angsty," John chuckled.

"What about you?" Alex asked. "Who was John friends with when he was a kid?"

"Uh, I was friends with the starving artists, actually," John laughed. "We all ate lunch in the art room, and we were all super weird and quirky and laughed at everything. Most of us were in the same art classes so we would do these really weird group projects, which included covering ourselves in paint and having a huge group hug and then letting the clothing we were wearing dry."

"That's not art," Alex scoffed.

"It was too!" John defended. "I got amazing grades in art. We were really weird. We were the ones who wore black turtlenecks and berets and always smelled like acrylic paint. We were Hercules' dream students. Was there that group of kids at every school?"

Alex nodded. "Always. I hated those kids too."

"Okay, hold on, were there any groups of kids you didn't hate besides your own?" John asked, chuckling.

Alex shook his head. "I was a very angsty kid. I really needed therapy."

"God, me too," John mumbled.

"Well, I'm glad ten years passed between our high school experiences and absolutely nothing changed for anyone," Alex snorted. "One of the things I wanna do when I'm Governor is seriously look at our school system. Then, oh, don't get me started on resources for minorities and immigrants and people who don't speak English. If you hate the government now, you should try being the guy who knows exactly how fucked up everything is."

"I couldn't hash it in politics," John sighed. "I'd run my mouth too much. More than you."

Alex laughed. "Yeah, it's really hard to control myself sometimes. I'm telling you, John, the IQ of some of the people I work with. It makes me want to shoot myself. Like, John, Monroe genuinely forgot that time zones exist. I just, they're all so dumb."

John sighed, finishing off his soup. "I miss Obama."

"Ugh, he'd the only president I would let top me," Alex grumbled.

"Have you ever met him?" John asked.

"I was elected the same year Trump was elected, so I never got to meet him, but Washington got to meet him," Alex stated. "Said that the man was classy and funny, approachable. Like you could grab a beer with him."

"I would kill to have a beer with Obama," John laughed as he took a bite of a knish. "Whoa, this is really good."

Alex nodded, laughing. "I've never had bad Jewish food. Do you have traditions?"

"Not really," John mumbled. "My mom was black and Hispanic, but I was raised like a white kid. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, and that's it. I had a boring childhood, really. Nothing much happened."

"Have you ever been out of the country?" Alex asked.

John shook his head. "Have you?"

Alex cocked his head, knitting his brows together.

"Oh, sorry, that was a stupid question. Anywhere besides the Caribbean?" John asked.

Alex nodded. "Yeah, uh, I've been to Iraq, Iran, Yemen briefly, Afghanistan, Germany for the hospital, and Canada."

"You flew all the way to Germany for the hospital?" John asked.

"Oh, no, I flew from Iraq," Alex stated. "That's where I got surgery to fix up my leg, and where I recovered. Most American soldiers go there when they need to hospitalized. It was really a great place. I'm blanking on the name, but it'll come to me eventually."

John leaned back in his chair. "You have had such an interesting life. I love hearing stories you have. You should write a book."

Alex snorted. "I could call it 'It Starts out Bad and Just Gets Worse.' I bet it would be a bestseller. I write about the shit I've been through sometimes, but more to just vent. I wrote about a lot of stuff when I was in rehab and it helped me not to relapse."

"Would you ever let me read it?" John asked.

"Yeah, sure," Alex mumbled. "All my notebooks are in the attic."

John smiled, taking the final bite of his last Knish, just as Alex finished his. "Should we try some apple strudel?"

Alex nodded, picking up his. "I love their apple strudel. My momma used to make this every Friday when I went a week without getting in trouble."

"Were you a little trouble maker?" John teased, taking a bite of the sweet apple strudel.

Alex nodded, smiling at his boyfriend. "I told you, I was an angsty child. I was buck wild. I didn't have a dollar to my name. I had no troop to fight with, I had no house or large political position. I was just very small and very angry."

"Sounds like you and I would've gotten along," John chuckled.

"You were literally nine when I enlisted in the army," Alex deadpanned.

"Ew, don't say that," John laughed. "I don't want to think about that."

Alex chuckled. "I regretted it the moment it left my mouth. Mm, should get going? We're almost done with our food. We have some time until Maria is dropping Phillip off, a couple of hours. What do you wanna do?"

"We need to get groceries," John mumbled. "We're seriously deprived of food in our house. Do you have any ideas about what we should get?"

"We need some more cereal, and we're running low on milk and coffee," Alex stated.

"Alright, we also need to get some lunch food for Phillip, and I'm running super low on shampoo, and Phillip is running low on both shampoo and conditioner." John sighed, leaning back. "We also need easy breakfast food because I need to start eating something in the morning and the biggest reason I don't is time."

"Uh, protein shakes are really good, and I drank a lot of them when I was coming back from my bender," Alex stated.

"Yeah, that sounds good," John nodded. "Alright, and we need more macaroni and cheese, and some pasta sauce. Oh, let's not forget eggs."

"Shit, and I'm supposed to bring cookies or something to a meeting tomorrow," Alex grumbled. "I'll just get a bunch of the store cookies. I love them so everyone else can deal with that. Oh, uh, you're almost out of the creamer you like, and I think we need more lemons."

"Okay, we're gonna forget all of this the moment we walk into the store, but we'll figure it out, right?" John laughed.

Alex nodded. "Yeah, we will. Eggs, creamer, milk, cereal, protein shakes, lemons, cookies, macaroni, pasta sauce, hair stuff, and lunch food. Perfect. Let's be off, darling."

  



	17. Somebody once trolled me, successfully rick n rolled me

**** "John! I signed us all up for something fun!" Alex announced as he walked through the front door on a warm April day.

"Do we have a choice in this?" John called skeptically.

"Nope!" Alex chimed as he walked into the living room, where John was braiding Phillip's hair while they watched cartoons.

"Do we get to know what it is?" John asked, cracking his knuckles for a second. "Because, I mean, I love supporting you at your work things Alex, but if I have to interact with John Adams one more time, I do believe I might blow my brains out."

Alex laughed as he sat down next to John, squeezing to Phillip's shoulder and kissing John's cheek. "Don't worry, it's not a work thing. We're gonna walk two miles with a bunch of other veterans of New York City, and all proceeds go to veteran services and affairs. How does that sound? We can hang out as a family, I can meet other people who fought in Afghanistan and Iraq, and even better, I don't have to be embarrassed about the fact that I only have one and a half legs!"

John nodded, smiling. "That sounds fun. When is it?"

"Tomorrow," Alex smiled.

"Well, I'll just keep Phillip's hair in braids for that I guess." John sighed, finishing up that last one and tying it in place. "I swear, this kid's hair is giving me early onset arthritis." John picked up Phillip and placed the kid on his lap. "You wanna go walk around New York with me and Alex tomorrow?"

"No," Phillip answered flatly.

"It'll be fun," John convinced. "We'll get ice cream afterward if you come."

Phillip groaned.

"You need the sunlight and exercise," John chuckled. "Come on, buddy. It won't be bad, I promise."

"You promise that we get ice cream?" Phillip eyed him cynically.

"Pinky swear," John nodded.

Phillip deflated, leaning against John's chest as the cartoons played.

"What do y'all want for dinner?" John asked, sighing as he found Alex's hand. "I could make something, we could order something or we could just gorge ourselves on junk food. The options are endless."

"Mac and cheese," Phillip requested.

"I'm gonna cook up that frozen pizza," Alex mumbled.

"Can we split that?" John asked.

Alex nodded. "No, I’m going to cook it and eat it right in front of you. I'm gonna change into something more comfortable right now. I'll be back down in a minute."

John smiled and pecked his lips as Alex got up. "Alright, honey. Do you have any work you need to do tonight?"

Alex shrugged. "A little bit. Nothing too bad. I'll be able to finish it in ten, twenty if I'm watching a movie with you two. I'll wait a bit so we can talk about our days and stuff like that over dinner."

"Alright, dear," John smiled, watching Alex walk upstairs.

"Are you and Alex married?" Phillip asked as Alex left the room.

John coughed, choking on his spit. "No, no, we're not married, we're just boyfriends."

"Still?" Phillip gasped.

"Yes, Pip, still," John chuckled, hugging Phillip a bit. "People usually don't get married for a while, buddy. Do you like Alex still?"

Phillip nodded.

John smiled, kissing Phillip's cheek. "Remember, your opinion on my relationships matters. You can tell me any issues you have with anyone, I promise. I won't get angry."

Phillip smiled and curled the edge of one of his braids in his fingers. "I love you, papa."

"Alexandria, you're so bad," Alex laughed, coming back downstairs with his phone pressed to his ear. "No! Oh my God, you're so bad, you didn't... Oh my God, what did he say?" Alex gasped. "Wow, nothing yet? That's a record." Alex snorted with laughter. "Alexandria! Girl, oh my God. I'm cackling... No, go off sis, he needs to hear it... You didn't'!... You're worse than me! Oh my God... Okay, yeah, coffee, on Monday... God, he's gonna have you assassinated... Alright, alright, goodbye." Alex hung up his phone and sat down on the couch, laughing.

"Wow, am I dating a soccer mom?" John chuckled. "I've never heard you talk like that, who was that?"

"That was our Brooklyn-Queens congresswoman, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez," Alex stated. "She went off about Trump's wall and the opioid crisis recently, and I was just calling her about it because I saw it on Twitter. God, I love her. She and I are getting coffee on Monday."

"I didn't know you were so buddy-buddy with her," John laughed.

"Politics is a wicked wicked game, John Laurens," Alex pointed out, chuckling. "You gotta find friends where you can. She's on an upper level of politics, a Washington girl, but New York politicians known all the other New York politicians. She and I get coffee when she's in town, and we catch up. She's awesome. I'm glad she's on the good side."

"No, you're so bad! Sis, go off!" John mocked.

"Okay, believe it or not, John, politicians are people with senses of humor. Alexandria is pretty relaxed when she's not surrounded by white men who want to eat her head off. Or they may want to eat something else, white men are odd. Latinos stick together," Alex stated.

John smiled and rolled his eyes, pulling Alex closer. "You're a crack addict."

"Maybe," Alex replied, smirking.

The next day, the three of them were standing in a large group of veterans waiting for the announcer to say go. John has never seen so many prosthetics in his life, and it really made him start to wonder about the armor that soldiers were provided with. He would've thought something might have changed between the sixty-year-old veteran next to Alex and the twenty-year-old in front of them.

"Thank you for coming," Alex stated, looking up at John. "I know this isn't really your thing, but after I left the army, this was where I found most of my support group. Functions like these."

"Hey, this is no problem. I'm having a nice time," John said softly, gripping Alex's hand while he made sure Phillip was okay. "I'm fine with coming with you to these things. I wanna support you."

"Marry me," Alex mumbled under his breath.

"Hmm?" John hummed, not quite catching what Alex said.

"What? Oh, nothing. Just thinking out loud." Alex jumped when the announcer said go and squeezed John's hand as they began to walk. It wasn't really a race, more just to raise money and help veterans find resources. Alex sighed, leaning against John a bit as the three of them walked. "My brother called me last night. It's why I took so long coming to bed."

"Oh? What did he say?" John asked.

"Uh, well, he's getting closer to finishing the house, so he was thinking about coming up here next summer. He also found a stray cat so now he has a pet," Alex filled in.

John smiled. "I've always wanted a cat."

"Oh Lord, are we gonna have to get a cat?" Alex asked. "I mean, nothing against cats, but they’re assholes."

"Alex, you said a bad word!" Phillip laughed.

"Alex can say bad words because he's an adult," John stated, picking up Phillip since the kid was dragging his feet, obviously not wanting to walk.

"When am I an adult?" Phillip groaned, leaning his head against John's shoulder.

"Never," John answered simply.

"Nuh uh. When did Alex become an adult?" Phillip asked curiously, glancing over at Alex for an answer.

"Her name was Kitty Livingston. She had the face of a model and the legs of a-"

"Alexander!" John scolded, gently bumping into Alex. "Alex became an adult when he bought a house."

"But you never bought a house, are you an adult?" Phillip asked.

"Nope," John laughed. "But I'm a little bit of an adult because I live in a house."

"I live in a house!" Phillip gasped. "I'm an adult sort of too!"

John groaned and rested his head against Phillip's. "You're not allowed to say bad words, Phillip. Not until you're fourteen."

"Passover is in six days," Alex commented. "I have six more days to eat bread when I want, and then I gotta just, stop."

"How about Phillip and I participate with you, yeah? Family Passover," John chuckled. "I'm sure Phillip will like some of that food you can eat on Passover."

"It's not just bread, it's anything that's made with water and wheat," Alex explained. "That means no alcohol, Johnny. You think you can do that?"

John paused, thinking for a second. "How long is Passover?"

Alex laughed a bit, kissing John's shoulder. "Baby, don't worry about it. Just do your best, and if you end up sipping Pabst Blue Ribbon on ice about three days in, there'll be no judgment. It just makes me feel good that someone is my life is so interested in my culture."

John sighed, squeezing Alex's hand a bit. "I absolutely adore you, Alexander Hamilton. Okay, I have a question. What was it like being a Hispanic-Jewish semi-gay immigrant in the army? I mean, was there any discrimination?"

Alex shrugged. "Not really I guess. I mean, there was always someone, but that's not an army thing, that's a regular life thing. I didn't really like, broadcast my life. Most people in my troop knew that I was into men, because Jay and I were uh, pretty on and off." Alex grabbed his dog tags from around his neck. He had put them on for today. "This says my religion, so that was out there for anyone who wanted to check."

John leaned over and looked at the tag. "You have B negative blood?"

"I do," Alex nodded. "What about you?"

"I have A positive, but Phillip has B negative," John stated. "I always made sure that I knew what both Phillip and I have because believe me, I've seen enough medical dramas to know that blood type is an important thing to know."

Alex nodded. "Yeah, I don't think I'd be standing here today if it weren't for my dog tags."

"Well then, tell your dog tags I say thank you," John sighed, pulling Alex a bit closer. John looked at Phillip. "Alright, buddy, I'm gonna put you down. Papa's getting tired."

"Just a little longer?" Phillip asked, groaning.

"Nope," John replied.

"But Papa," Phillip whined, looking at John. There was a very tense moment where John and Phillip had a bit of a staredown, but finally, Phillip huffed in defeat, letting go of John so he can be set down.

"You know, it freaks me out thinking about you almost dying," John confessed, looking at Alex. "I'm glad you made it back and made it through everything else."

"You know, this past year is like, the first time I've started to feel glad about that too," Alex admitted, smiling a bit. "I tried to get Thomas and James and Payne to come, but the two of them had their own infinite list of excuses of why not to go. James and his meds and inhaler, Thomas and his hatred for stuff like this. Sometimes I think the man would actually be okay with forgetting he served, but I mean, wouldn't we all?" Alex laughed a little. "No, I've always liked coming to stuff like this. I don't know why, but it makes me feel not so alone."

"That's sweet, you know that?" John smiled, gently bumping Alex. "Maybe I should've joined the military."

"You would've gotten your ass kicked in the military!" Alex laughed. "John, trust me, you're a lot tougher than most of the guys in my troop because you would clean up baby poop without vomiting, but you wouldn’t have lasted two weeks on a deployment."

"I would too!" John gasped.

"Okay, you say that, but here's the thing," Alex started. "My first deployment was me and a bunch of newbies and like, four dudes who had been doing this for years. It was drills day and night in hundred-degree weather, tasteless food, and not to mention the fact that you are kinda sensitive."

"I am not," John scoffed.

"I'm not saying it's a bad trait, I'm just saying you have a certain softness that most military men can't have. It's what makes you an amazing father, a great friend, an awesome boyfriend, but a terrible soldier. You would either discharged in your first week or not even make it past recruitment."

"Okay, and what about you? What was your recruitment like?" John asked.

"Uh, well, it was really quick because it was nine months after nine eleven. They needed young guys like me to fight in the Afghan war, and I was in pretty good shape. I was qualified, I was good at following instructions and I was a high school graduate. The recruiter basically called me about an hour after I walked out of the building and told me I had been enlisted. This was about three months after Liz and I got married, so I was technically a citizen, and the army was willing to give me a worker green card since I had a clean legal history. It's amazing what happens when immigrants are given the opportunity to prove themselves." Alex chuckled a bit at his own joke. "No, uh, I was what they needed, so they took me. The army was not very picky back then."

"My dad always said the army was just full of a bunch of grunts," John chuckled.

"I’m sure your dad wouldn't know how to pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. Did he ever serve?" Alex asked.

John shook his head.

"See, there we go." Alex looked down, sighing a bit. "I met some of the most intelligent people I know in the army. Angelica? She's an insanely good lawyer. She could be working huge cases if she wanted to. Thomas? Don't get me started. The man graduated Browns University with a four point oh. Jay? Jay was just, he was better than all of us. He wasn't going to college for anything, he was just, actually a good person, a  _ nice _ person. Anyway, Washington is crazy smart. Major in political science and business, and  _ then _ the army. The army isn't full of grunts, it's full of people who wanna serve their country."

"Wow, let's pray you never met my father," John laughed. "I feel like you two would get into a full-on fist fight within the first five minutes. He's a full republican, Catholic, just, you two would not get along."

"And I'm like, already prone to fighting," Alex snorted. "No offense, but you're dad sounds like a dirtbag. You better hope he doesn't cross me. I'll kick his ass. I swear I'll fight him."

"I'm sorry, all I can think about is my broad shouldered six foot four senator/father squaring up with your short scrawny self," John snorted.

"I may be small, but I'm fast and I have a wooden leg that I can take off quickly," Alex defended. "Instant self-defense. It's like a detachable club to destroy my enemies with."

"What enemies do you have?" John asked incredulously.

"John Adams, James Monroe, Thomas sometimes, Donald Trump, the sun, myself," Alex listed.

"How are you your own enemy?" John laughed, looking over at Alex.

"I'm sorry, have you met me?" Alex snorted. "I single-handedly ruined two relationships in the span of two weeks." Alex paused for a second, smiling. "Jay always hated these things, you know? He thought they were stupid. It's just because he had way too many bad experiences with the VA. Nowadays though, everyone has bad experiences with the VA. It was the VA that told me my pain was all in my head, and then I found out I have chronic pain from permanent nerve damage. I do owe that discovery to two veteran doctors though. TC and Drew. They were really understanding."

John offered a gentle squeeze to Alex's hand. "That's sweet."

Alex sighed. "The Afghanistan war may have been bad, but hey, at least I could FaceTime Jay when we weren't together." Alex sighed softly. "He would've loved you."

"Do you think you and I would've ever met if he hadn't..." John trailed off.

Alex nodded, smiling. "I like to think that we would've met the same way, but I would've brought you home to him, and then, well, we would make it work."

"Good lord, Alexander," John snorted. "Does that mean what I think it means?"

Alex shrugged. "If Jay hadn't died, I would still have my leg, I would've never been an alcoholic, and just, things would be different. I never believed in the butterfly effect until I lost him, but it's true. One event will trigger another and another, and just shape your life entirely."

John nodded, looking down at Phillip. "I can't help but agree with you on that one."

The three of them got to the finish but didn't leave. There were stands set up for different things, different support groups for veterans. John did feel a little intimidated by all the tall and strong men around him, but he felt better when he saw a sweet old woman with her husband, surrounded by a few more people like that.

"Oh! John, come on," Alex gasped excitedly. He pulled John through a group of people, then laughed, smiling at a man standing by a booth. "Yo! Andre! Come here!"

"Look what the cat dragged in! Alexander Hamilton, back from the dead. Look at you, dude! Shit, you look great!" The man, Andre, laughed, coming out from behind the booth and hugging Alex. John felt a little awkward, standing behind them with Phillip in his arms, but smiled supportively. Today was for Alex, and he was okay with that.

"Dude, this is my boyfriend, John, and his son, Phillip," Alex introduced, pulling John forward to emphasize the introduction.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you." John smiled and shook Andre's hand.

"Damn, Alex, I never saw you as a family man," Andre laughed. "How's life without support group?"

Alex nodded. "Still sober, coming up on six years. Taking my meds, living well, and my fish is great. Herbert has been good company."

John chuckled, gently taking Alex's hand.

"And how'd you bag yourself this cutie and a kid?" Andre asked, looking John up and down and smiling at Phillip.

"We met at my work," John answer vaguely, not really enjoying the idea of telling everyone that he was homeless at one point and Alex saved his ass.

"Well, that's nice," Andre laughed. "Hey, Alex, I still go to support meetings, and I think you should come back for one. Bring Taco Bell for everyone though, because donuts are getting old, especially with a middle-aged metabolism, believe me."

Alex laughed. "Yeah, alright man, I'll bring my friend Thomas since he fought right next to me. I'll see you around, alright?"

"Stay sober, asshole!" Andre laughed.

"You too!" Alex called back as he walked away with John. "Andre was my drinking buddy when I got back. We'd get together and just get, well, get drunk. Uh, no, before I checked myself into rehab, I called him and told him he should too. We lost touch for a few months, and then we found each other again in veteran support groups."

"That's sweet," John mentioned, kissing the side of Alex's head.

"Hey, let's go see if you could qualify for recruitment," Alex joked, pulling John over to a different booth.

"Oh, no no no," John gasped. "I don't want to join the army."

"I know, but I just wanna see if you qualify," Alex chuckled. "Hello, gentlemen. This is John Laurens. He's interested in knowing what the qualifications are for joining the army."

"Hi," John smiled flatly.

"Papa, don't join the army," Phillip whispered in John's ear. "They're bad."

John chuckled and nodded, kissing Phillip's cheek.

"Well, do you have a high school diploma or GED equivalent?" The man at the station asked, smiling politely at John while Alex chuckled.

"I do," John nodded.

"Are you between the ages of seventeen and thirty-four?" They continued.

"I am," John confirmed.

"Oh, man, I guess I'm too old to get back into the army," Alex sighed, snapping his fingers. "I don't know if they'd even let me back in. Thank God Washington gave me an honorable discharge."

John rolled his eyes, smiling.

"And how many dependents do you have?" The soldier continued.

"Well, if we wanna count my boyfriend, then two," John laughed. "No, just my son."

"Psh, boyfriend? Yeah, keep walking," one of the other soldiers laughed. "The army is for real men. I don't need a new recruit getting distracted by my ass."

Alex's eyes widened a bit, looking over at the other soldier. "Oh, yeah, because that's what I was thinking when I was in the army. Middle of the desert, getting shot at by Taliban, but damn, Major’s ass looks hot in those pants." Alex scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Get over yourself. My boyfriend has too high of standards for you."

"Look, I'm not trying to be discriminatory, but come on, it's the army. Also, I’m not sure that’s true," the soldier argued, looking Alex up and down skeptically.

"I served for ten years in the army. I lost my leg, my hearing in one ear. I have scars from bullet wounds, I have shrapnel permanently lodged in my back. I saved lives, killed Taliban. I have a ribbon from a woman who was trying to repay me for saving her child, and I did that all while dating one of the men in my troop. I've seen shit that would make someone like you piss themselves." Alex's eyes narrowed. "Don't tell me who can and cannot join the army, because you don't need to be straight, you just need to shoot straight."

"Yeah, whatever dude," the soldier mumbled.

Alex rolled his eyes and looked to John. "This is why we always gave the newbies a hard time. Because they think they're hot shit if we don't." Alex took John's hand and they walked away from the booth. "Don't buy into that. The army isn't made up entirely of people like that. I mean, everyone in my troop knew I was with Jay, and they didn't care. A few rookies had the audacity to say something, but we shut ‘em up."

John chuckled a bit. "I figured."

The three of them walked around a little longer, John talking in sign language to a few deaf soldiers while Alex held Phillip and smiled. Alex thought John was very cute when he was talking in sign language. He got really smiley and his hands moved at a rapid pace. It made Alex want to learn sign language, so he put it on his mental bucket list.

Alex and John finally decided it was time to go, so Alex found a good ice cream shop and they all got into the car to go there. Phillip was excited about ice cream, and John just seemed happy to be with Alex, so Alex was happy too. The trio arrived at the ice cream shop, smiling as they walked in.

"What would you like, Pip?" John asked as they stood in line.

Phillip's eyebrows creased and he looked to John. "I don't know. It's too loud."

John scooped up Phillip, letting the kid lean his head against his shoulder. "How about Vanilla with chocolate sprinkles, like you always get, hmm?"

Phillip shook his head.

"Okay, how about chocolate?" John suggested.

Phillip nodded.

"Would you like to sit down with Alex? I'll order for all of us," John offered. Phillip nodded again, so John turned to Alex. "Hey, can you go sit down with Phillip? I'll order for all of us. What do you want?"

"Uh, butter pecan," Alex answered. "Yeah, I can do that. I see a table in the back where it's quieter." Alex took Phillip from John's arms. "Hey, buddy. I gotcha."

John smiled as he watched the two go to a back table. Phillip was giggling at something Alex had said. John hated how attached he was getting to Alex, but maybe, maybe nothing bad had to happen. Maybe it could just be him and Alex and Phillip, getting through life together.

John ordered the ice cream and precariously carried the cones to the table, smiling as he sat down and dug into his cherry ice cream. He always liked cherry ice cream, because it reminded him of his mom. It was sweet, and it always had chunks of real cherries which made it even better. Phillip was happy about the ice cream and happier about the fact the table was in a quieter area. New York was very loud, and John always felt bad when Phillip got sensory overload and tried to help as much as he could.

"What was war like?" Phillip asked.

"Terrible," Alex answered plainly. "Don't do it."

Phillip nodded. "Okay."

"Okay, so, what are we doing this summer?" John asked. "Like, we could go on a road trip or something. We gotta make some plans though, because I have May thirtieth to July fifteenth off from teaching classes, and I have a bunch of hours saved up with my bar job, so like, I could take time off from there too, if we were gonna do something."

Alex paused as if he was thinking. "Let's go to California."

John choked on his ice cream. "What?"

"Let's go to California for a few weeks. Let's ditch New York, go to the beach, eat fresh fruit, stay in a nice hotel, check out the art scene. I like it, and I think you will too," Alex stated, taking another bite of his ice cream. "We'll get business class seats so we can all sit together. I'm assuming Phillip's experience with planes is limited so he’ll get to see what it's like."

"Do you know how much money that's gonna cost?" John asked.

"About a paycheck and a half, but I have hella bank saved up," Alex shrugged. "I'll set us up in a nice hotel, and we can see the city. Take a couple of day trips into Oakland. It's where Thomas grew up, so I wanna make him jealous and see his cousins. I think it would be fun."

"Yeah!" Phillip cheered. "I've never left New York."

"Not even to go to New Jersey?" Alex asked.

"Have you seen how much the PATH train costs? Hell no," John snorted.

"Well, then I think California would be good for both of you. We could stay in northern California, San Francisco, which is near Oakland, just across the bay," Alex mused.

"Alex, I'm a crip, I can't go to the west side," John joked. "I've actually never been to the west coast. The farthest west I went to was Montana for a ski trip, but that was it. Phillip and I have not been on a vacation ever, really."

"Alright, I just can't have this," Alex decided. "Whenever I was home for Thanksgiving, I would always go to Thomas' mom's house, even if he wasn't there. She'd invite any of Thomas' friends. Jay and I went together for one year, and I went with Angie and Thomas another year. She died a few years back, but she was a real sweet lady. Anyways, we're gonna go to California this summer, for at least two weeks. New York is nice but if you stay here your whole life, you’ll go crazy."

John chuckled, looking at Phillip. "What do you think, buddy? California?"

"What's California like?" Phillip asked.

"Well," John hesitated. "It's like New York, but a bit fewer people, not as many tall buildings, and it's a bit quieter, with better street food."

"Why don't we live in California?" Phillip gasped. "It sounds more fun."

John smiled. "I tell you what, if you grow up and you want to live in California, then there’ll be nothing stopping you, but New York is where I belong. And you're gonna be glad you grew up here, because Pip, once you've conquered New York, everything else is easy."

"You're dad's right," Alex nodded. "But California is nice, Phillip. You might really like it. You seem like someone who would fit in in Oakland. It's a really pretty place."

"And we're gonna go?" Phillip confirmed.

Alex nodded. "I'll start looking into it as soon as we get home."

Later on in the day, when everyone had arrived home, they were all hanging out in the kitchen. Phillip was coloring, John was cooking, and Alex was searching around for flights to San Francisco, get in touch with a few cousins of Thomas', looking for hotels and attractions. Alex loved planning vacations. It was so fun. He loved planning things. He didn't know why, but it was so much fun. If he had gotten his secret dream job, he probably would’ve ended up a wedding or event planner.

"Everything's A-Okay," John quietly sang. "Because I'm strong as an O-A-K, an oak. But money don't grow on trees, so I'm B-R-O-K-E, I'm hella broke, bro." John clicked his tongue, nodding his head a bit before beginning to rap. "Them rims, them rings, them things, you can bring 'em out. I just had my card declined at In-N-Out. The line is flipping out, giving me evil eyes. Fuck the soda, re-run it with just the cheesy fries. 'Cause I don't think money is the Devil. I'm not sinking, I'm just kicking it at sea level. I got my floaties on, I'm focusing on all the wonderful stuff with the force of Obi-Wan." John hummed a bit more, smiling. "Pip, hun, do you want mushrooms in your egg burrito?"

Phillip nodded. "Yes please."

"You have a nice voice," Alex commented.

"Huh? Oh, thanks," John mumbled. "I was in my school choir, and I got really into it. The teacher rocked."

Alex chuckled, saving a few files and deciding that the internet was being to slow and that he'd just do all this on Monday and mooch off the government wifi. "Why don't you sing more often?"

John shrugged. "I dunno. I just don't."

Alex sighed and leaned back, rubbing his eyes. "God, what time is it?"

"It's like, six," John answered. "Dinner is almost done, just gimme like, five more minutes. Are you tired?"

Alex shook his head, waving his hand a bit. "No, no, my brain is just like, stalling. Like, you know when you don't use the TV and the little box bounces around the screen? That's my brain right now."

"Oh, I get that. Mine's an endless loop of the Wii music," John chuckled.

"I don't even know what that is," Alex laughed.

"See, this is how I know we're different generations," John chuckled. "Because you're not a real millennial if you didn't play Wii tennis in the living room while your parents fought in the kitchen. I swear most people my age had literally the exact same childhood as me. Martha? Her parents got divorced in the other room while she played the Wii sparring game. All my college friends? We would get really wasted and just lie on the floor of Conner's dorm singing the Wii music. It's like, the national anthem for anyone ages fifteen to twenty-seven, you know?"

"My age's anthem is Never Gonna Give You Up," Alex snorted as John finished up dinner, sitting down at the counter and handing everyone their plates.

"I hate that song," John gasped. "No, I hate it, because I dated that emo guy, and he played it all the time as a joke. I literally almost threw hands with him because of it."

"Never gonna give you up!" Alex began singing. "Never gonna let you down!"

"Keep singing and I will actually block you," John threatened.

"You wouldn't," Alex gasped.

"Oh, I would." John grinned, looking at Phillip. "Buddy, eat your dinner, or I'll take the coloring book away until you finish it."

"I'm not hungry," Phillip sighed.

John shot him a look. The parenting look.

Phillip closed his coloring book. "Thank you for dinner, Papa."

"Of course, buddy," John smiled, cocking a brow and gently ruffling Phillip's hair.

"Man, I don't wanna get that look, I'll be apart of the clean plate club," Alex laughed, taking a bite of the egg burritos John had made them.

"Mm, alright, what do y'all want to do tonight?" John asked. "A movie, board games, homicide, cartoons, whatever."

"Wait, what was that last one?" Alex clarified.

"Cartoons," John answered. "I'm cool with whatever. Phillip, buddy, what do you want to do? Something chill, Papa is feeling tired."

"If we watch a movie, can I color too?" Phillip asked.

John nodded. "Of course, bud. We'll keep the lights on so you can see what you're doing, how's that sound?"

Phillip nodded. "Cool."

A little later, they were all sitting down in front of the TV. They’d finished a kid movie, and since Phillip had gone up to bed, Alex put on a French noir movie and John leaned against him as they watched. He didn't understand a word anyone was saying, but he thought it was cute how someone would say something and Alex would laugh and repeat it under his breath, or gasp at something else.

John jumped when his phone began ringing. He pulled it out and looked at the contact. "It's from the NYPD."

Alex creased his eyebrows. "Why would they be calling you?"

John shrugged. "I don't know. " John pressed accept and put the phone to his ear. He was met with a very fast talking voice, and a lot of gibberish that he couldn't understand. "Hey, whoa, slow down, who is this?"

"John, John, it's me, Herc," the voice gasped, sounding as if it was crying.

"Hercules?" John furrowed his brows. "What the hell are you doing at the police department?"

"I got arrested," Hercules sobbed.

"You got arrested?" John gasped.

Alex sat up. "Put me on the phone with him. Angie taught me how to handle this." Alex took the extended phone from John's hand and pressed it to his ear. "Hey, Hercules, it's me, Alex. You got arrested?"

"Yeah, and I don't know why, because-"

Alex cut Hercules off. "Hey, whoa, okay, I need you to take a deep breath, okay?" Alex waited, listening to Herc take a shaky breath, then continued. "Okay, good. John and I are going to come and post bail for you. I'll get in touch with Lafayette, and we can all go to my place and figure this out, okay? Now, I need you to not say anything about what happened over the phone. We can talk about it all night once you get here, but nothing while you're there. In fact, just don't say anything. Police may try to get something out of you, but trust me, it's better if you stay quiet. Now, where are you?"

"Midtown precinct North," Herc said slowly.

"Alright, that's not too far from where I live, we should be there in ten minutes. It might take a little longer to get you out, but we're gonna be there real soon, I promise." Alex assured him. "Don't worry."

"Okay," Herc nodded.

"Okay, we'll be there soon, goodbye, Herc," Alex comforted. He let Herc say goodbye, then hung up and looked at John. "Okay, he's at Midtown precinct north, which is really close, so we can be there in ten. There's an ATM and I'll get some cash to bail him out. Should we bring Phillip?"

John shook his head. "No."

"Alight, well, then let's go," Alex said. They got up and scurried downstairs, putting on their shoes and jackets. They got into Alex's car, making their way through the New York City streets. Traffic wasn't that bad, but it still was making John really anxious, thinking about Herc in a jail cell. Herc was a really soft, sensitive person, and he didn’t have a lot of experience sticking up for himself. What if someone was messing with him? How did he even get in there? Herc wouldn't hurt a fly, much less commit a crime. He didn’t even take more than two ketchup packets at fast food restaurants. Herc had never committed a crime in his life; what the hell could he have done?

The two got to the police station and Alex rushed to the ATM, pulling out a few hundred dollars in cash. They got in line, to post bail for Herc. John was obviously very nervous, so Alex slipped his hand into John's, trying to help calm the younger boy down. John was gonna let Alex do most of the talking since he figured Alex knew about this stuff.

"Bail for Hercules Mulligan," Alex stated.

"That'll be a thousand dollars," the woman at the counter informed him.

Alex handed her the money.

"Hercules Mulligan, bring him out," the woman said into the intercom.

John turned to the door, gripping Alex's hand tightly as they waited. It took a few seconds, but Hercules was brought out. He had a scrape on his cheek and a split lip. Tears were running down his cheeks, and he was shaking, tugging his sweater sleeves over his hands. John darted over to Herc, taking the older man into his arms. Herc hugged John back and shook, crying.

"Come on, Herc, let's go back to our place," John whispered. "We'll call Lafayette. It's gonna be okay, hon."

Herc nodded and Alex and John walked him to the car. Herc sat in the back seat with John, crying as John comforted him, while Alex drove. They got to the house and John helped Hercules inside, taking him into the living room and sitting him down on the couch. Alex retrieved a first aid kit, then went to go call Lafayette.

"Hey, hey, shh," John murmured, dabbing the blood off of Hercules' cheek. "It's okay, you’re okay. I'm right here." John put some antibacterial cream on Herc's scrape and Herc tried to stifle his sniffles. "Hey, you're okay. You're safe. We're not letting anything hurt you. I'm here, I’ve got you." John saw Alex come in and sit down on the other side of Herc, rubbing his knee. John sighed, trying to think of a way to bandage it. "What happened?"

"I was driving home," Herc choked. "And I was speeding because I’d stayed late at school doing a few things I needed to do, and I hadn’t even realized until Laf called me and told me it was almost nine. So I was driving home kinda fast; I was a few miles above the speed limit, but everyone does that. And I got pulled over." Hercules flinched a bit as John put more antibacterial cream on his cheek. "And the cop asked me if I had any weapons in the car, and I said no because I never have weapons, but he wanted to search my car anyway, so I let him. I had a huge box of X-Acto knives in the back because my art students are working on collages, and he started yelling at me, asking me what they were for, and I tried to tell him I'm an art teacher, but he pulled me out of my car and threw me onto the ground. And he twisted my arm really hard, and he hit me and arrested me, and I don't know what to do, John. My car got impounded, and I- I- I don't understand what I did!"

"Oh, God, Herc," John mumbled, embracing his friend. "It’ll be alright. We're gonna go get your car tomorrow, and we're gonna figure this out. It's gonna be okay."

"I've never been arrested before, and I was so scared. And they yelled at me, and the holding cell was so horrible, and there were scary people in it, and I thought they were gonna hurt me more!" Hercules was sobbing, leaning against John.

"I'm gonna get him some water," Alex offered from the doorway.

The older man got up and went downstairs, letting Hercules cry into John in peace. Alex filled up a cup of water, sighing and thinking. The use of violence, as well as the arrest itself, was obviously unjustified, but Herc might lose his job regardless. Of course, Washington could help out. It was lucky that Hercules was friends with people in high places because Washington could pardon him.

"Alexander," Lafayette gasped, bursting through the door with a sleeping William in his arms. "Where is my love?"

"He's in the living room, I'll take William and settle him in the guest room," Alex took the kid from Lafayette. "This water is for him."

Lafayette nodded and went upstairs, making a beeline for the living room. He stopped short when he saw Herc, sobbing. "Mon Amour!" Herc looked up at Lafayette, sniffling, and in seconds, Lafayette was on his knees in front of him, hugging him and wiping his tears away. "Darling, oh my goodness, shh, it's okay. I’ve got you." Lafayette gently ran his hand over Hercules' hair, looking to John, who was rubbing Herc's back. "What happened?"

"Some pig pulled him over and Herc had a box of X-acto knives in his trunk for art class. Apparently, the cop considered it a weapon and yanked Herc out of his car and arrested him," John stated.

"Oh, God, Hercules, my darling," Lafayette mumbled. "Je t'ai, Je ne vais pas lâcher, je t'aime tellement." Lafayette kissed the side of Hercules' head. "We're gonna figure this out. It's gonna be okay."

"I was so scared," Herc mumbled softly, shaking still.

"Hey, do you need something to calm down a bit?" John asked.

Herc nodded and John went upstairs, opening the dresser Alex had gotten for him, digging through the sock drawer and pulling out a wooden box. John opened it, grabbing a bit of weed and some papers, then coming back downstairs. Alex was back sitting on one side of Herc, comforting him. John sat down on the Herc’s other side and began rolling a joint, bringing a few looks from Lafayette but no words.

"Fuck, thank you," Herc sighed as John handed him a joint and lighter. Herc put it in his mouth and lit it, taking a deep inhale, then letting it out. "I don't even know why the cop would get so angry over just a few X-acto knives."

John bit his tongue. Now was not the time to go on a rant about racism in the police department. "We're gonna figure this out, Herc."

"Oh, God," Herc mumbled, smoke coming out of his mouth. "I'm gonna lose my job. I can't, I can't lose my job, I love that job. I mean, no one is hiring art teachers anymore. I'd have to, God, I'd have to put my history minor to use. I don't wanna fucking teach history."

"You're not gonna lose your job," Alex assured him. "Even if I’ve gotta get Washington to walk into that high school. This was all a huge misunderstanding, and it's going to be okay. We're gonna make sure of that, alright?"

"Shit, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being such a bother. I should've just, I mean, I'm fine, I'll get over it, I'm okay." Herc sighed, taking another hit.

"You don't have to apologize," Lafayette murmured. "It's okay. We all love you very much, Herc. We're here for you."

Herc shrugged a bit, sighing and looking down at the blunt in his hand. "I'm sorry."

"Shh," John whispered. "Hey, it's okay. How about y’all spend the night here? We can figure more stuff out in the morning, yeah? You two both know where the guest room is, so Alex and I are gonna let you talk for a little bit, leave you guys alone. Herc, if you need to shower, feel free to use whatever products are in there."

Herc nodded. "Thank you, John, Thank you, Alex."

"Of course," Alex said softly. "William is asleep in the guest room too, just so you know."

Alex and John stood up and walked upstairs to their room, Alex running downstairs to get his meds first. The moment the door closed, John was off on a tangent. He had bit his tongue the best he could down there, not wanting to upset Herc more, but now it was just him and Alex, and he was ready to go off and spill some tea.

"I'll tell you why Herc got arrested," John steamed. "Because a cop saw a black man driving late at night and decided to find any reason to arrest him. I mean, no white person who would get arrested for having fucking X-acto knives! This wasn't about Herc speeding or the fact that he had fucking art supplies in his car. It was about the fact that he was a black man, driving in a nice neighborhood, in a shitty car. Cops are fucking pigs!"

"The system is fucked up," Alex agreed, mixing his meds around a bit more before sipping the water.

"And poor Herc! He got all banged up, and he was so scared! I mean, how could someone look at that marshmallow of a man and actually assume he was going to hurt someone? What the hell was that cop’s problem? Jesus, this pisses me off so much!" John huffed and sat down on the bed. "Herc did not deserve this! Oh, Jesus, we need another Black Panther movement, because I'm actually about to fight someone about this."

Alex got on his knees behind John, gently rubbing his shoulders. "It's gonna be okay. We're gonna figure this out, and Herc is going to be just fine, I promise."

"It's not just about Herc though," John protested, turning around. "It's about every black person who has been harassed, or hurt, or arrested, for no reason at all! I mean, almost half of the prison population is black, which is way disproportionate to the percentage of the population that is black, by the way, and a lot of them are in there for crimes that no white person would get jail time for! Black women lying about where they live to get their kids into a better school, black people who didn't know they couldn’t vote for a specific amount of time after getting out of prison, black people on low-level drug offenses! My friend Conner, a college buddy of mine, he once got arrested at a gas station because he was driving a nice car and they assumed it was stolen! Martha gets harassed by cops when she walks down the street. This isn't just an isolated issue. Hell, I've been harassed by the police! Shit like this pisses me off so much."

"You're right," Alex nodded. "The laws in America were not designed to benefit people of color."

"Oh! And another thing! It takes lawyers years, what, like, seven years to learn the laws, and yet cops only need six months of training? I'm sorry, how can no one see the problem with that? Cops in my town, they would harass me and my siblings for doing absolutely nothing. There is literally no excuse for the amount of black and Hispanic people in prisons right now." John groaned, sighing heavily. "Just, fuck America, fuck the legal system, fuck the cops."

"Well, we do need some kind of legal system to keep this country from falling into anarchy, but I agree with you," Alex stated. "It's why my friend Angelica does what she does. Growing up, she was harassed by cops, which is why she got really buff and joined the army, so she could afford law school. We keep her signed on as a state lawyer so she gets paid, and she can offer he, frankly amazing, legal services to lower class black people. She takes on as many cases as she can. I think you would like her."

John paused. "She's the one you cheated on your wife with, right?"

"She’s one of them," Alex laughed. "No, she's crazy smart though, and like, I feel like you and her would be able to talk for hours."

"Is she ever gonna come over? She sounds cool?" John asked, leaning back onto his side of the bed.

Alex thought for a second, toying with the idea of maybe inviting her up. But he knew that when they were together, it would last about ten minutes before the two of them were naked and Alex's head was between her legs. No matter who he was with, no matter how much he loved or cared for them, she could always get him into bed without even saying anything. He broke hearts he didn't want to break with Angie.

"We had a bit of a falling out," Alex lied. Well, it wasn't a total lie. They did, at one point, fall out. Then the falling out was forgiven, but John didn't need to know that. 

The falling out had almost everything to do with Jay. Alex's daughter had just died, and Alex wasn't in the best place. Angie came into his tent to try and comfort him, and it, well, escalated. To sex. It escalated to sex. Now, at this point, Alex was balls deep in his affair with Jay. They were at a point where they both knew they wanted to marry each other, they both knew their contract to the army was going to end around the same time. Alex was going to leave Eliza, and they were going to be together, start another family.

Jay walked in on Alex and Angelica together. He was pissed, but he didn't say anything at first. He just stared at Alex, who was like a deer in headlights, then left. Alex freaked, rolling off of Angelica and yanking his clothes back on. The only things running through his head were apologies and pleads for forgiveness. He found Jay at target practice. Jay wasn’t crying, he wasn't saying anything, but he was hitting the target extremely well, which frightened Alex. He was angry. He was really freaking pissed.

"Jay," he started, reaching out for the man.

"Go away," Jay had replied, not turning around.

"Jay, I'm sorry," Alex pleaded. "Please, I didn't mean it."

Jay turned to Alex and aimed his gun at him. "Get the fuck away from me, Alex! I don't give a shit if you didn't mean it, if it meant nothing, I don't care! I can understand cheating on your crazy son-of-a-bitch wife because you know what? I would too. But this is fucking different. You lied to me. You said we would be forever, you said you only wanted me. You said you loved me! And it was all fucking bullshit!" Jay lowered his gun, shaking his head and letting out a bitter laugh. "My mom always told me that men would break my heart. I thought that was just because she was who she was, but you know something? She was right. I should've fucking listened to her. I should've listened to everyone who told me you were a bad idea. I should've taken the fucking hint life was throwing at me, but I didn't, because I loved you!" Jay ran his hand through his hair. "Fuck you, Alexander Hamilton!"

Alex grabbed Jay's wrist in a desperate attempt to change his mind. "Jay, please-"

Jay’s fist collided with Alex’s face. It was a good solid punch, right in the jaw. Alex had stumbled back, hitting the ground. His hand flew to his face. He had gotten used to being hit, living with Eliza and all, but this was different. This hurt. It  _ really _ hurt. It was enough to bring tears to his eyes.

"Don't touch me," Jay growled. "Or I will knock you on your ass, Hamilton."

A week later, Jay died in Alex's arms, the two of them murmuring their last 'I love you's and Alex begging Jay to stay awake. There was no way Jay would've made it though, even with a medic. The bullet tore straight through his chest, breaking off and shattering as it hit bone. It tore open Jay's coronary artery and punctured his lung. He was a dead man as soon as the bullet hit him. Alex had been pissed at Angelica. He didn't have a good reason to, really, because it was he who’d chosen to have sex with her, but he was still pissed. She’d kept her distance, not willing to grapple for forgiveness. She and Alex made up after he lost his leg, but that wasn't for another two years.

"Oh," John mumbled, breaking Alex from his quick flashback. "Well, she sounded cool."

Alex shrugged, laying down next to John. "Yeah. You're cooler though."

John sighed and pulled Alex closer to his body. "Mm, maybe." John murmured softly against Alex’s neck, running his fingers through Alex's hair. "I adore you."

Alex smiled, running his fingers over the tee shirt covering John's chest. "You really are something special, John Laurens." Alex paused for a second, then sighed, leaning in and kissing John's lips. "You know, it's really easy to forget the stuff I want to forget when I'm with you. I feel like, like you have some special magical power."

John gripped Alex's hand. "You're tired, hun."

Alex nodded. “Absolutely wasted."

"Go to sleep, babe," John whispered, kissing Alex's forehead.

Alex nodded and closed his eyes, letting himself drift off. It was easy for him to get to sleep. John, on the other hand, couldn’t've have conked out if he tried. He laid there for hours, staring at the ceiling. He was still pissed and anxious, and he wanted to do something to help Herc, although there wasn't much anyone could do at three in the morning.

John tried everything to fall asleep. He laid there for hours, counting sheep, daydreaming, winning hypothetical arguments. Eventually, around four in the morning, John pulled himself from the bed and made his way downstairs. He peeked in on Phillip, checking that he was still asleep in his room. Sometimes John wished he could turn back time to when Phillip was a baby. Back when John could walk around New York with Phillip in a little papoose.

Back when John held Phillip against his chest while he fed him, treasuring the skin to skin contact that every parenting book said was required. John seriously studied up for Phillip. He talked to moms, emailed parenting blogs. John literally prepared himself as best he could for a child, but in the end, the number one thing he heard was that there was absolutely no way to prepare yourself for having a kid. They were right though. Nothing really had prepared him for it.

John walked into the living room, then down the steps into the kitchen. He was startled to see Lafayette, up and drinking a beer, but didn't think much of it. Instead, he just walked in, grabbed a beer for himself, and leaned against the counter next to Lafayette.

"Can't sleep?" Lafayette asked.

John nodded, opening his drink and taking a sip. "Nope. You too?"

Lafayette nodded, staring down at the can of beer. "I'm just... Nevermind."

"What is it?" John asked, looking over at Laf.

"I hate filling the stereotype of the angry black man." Lafayette took another sip of his beer. "Truth be told, I'm not an angry person. And I don't wish to be stigmatized in that way. I often suspect that Alex doesn't understand that, because he's lighter-skinned, it’s socially acceptable for him to lash out. He's allowed to be angry. Thomas and I? Hell, even Washington? We must be calm and collected because the second I get angry, the moment I allow myself to yell, and curse, and flip off John Adams, I'm the angry black man. The angry, black  _ immigrant _ who isn't mentally stable enough to be in government. That doesn't really happen to Alex, because he’s lighter than us. I'm getting off topic, I apologize."

"No, it's okay," John nodded, sipping his beer.

"I don't want to be labeled as the angry black man, John, but when Alex called me this evening and told me what had happened, I was livid. I was- I am- angry. I swear to you John, if I ever met the cop that did that to Herc, I’m not sure I could stop myself from popping off on him." Lafayette finished off his beer and grabbed another one. "I've never been so angry, really. The fact that someone hurt my Hercules, the father of my stepson, a man who  _ physically _ could not be sweeter, ah, it makes my blood boil." Lafayette pushed a few strands of his hair out of his face. "I'm venting, but it makes me mad, and I can't speak out about this because I’ll be playing the minority card, or people will focus merely on my involvement with Herc, or I will be an angry black man. I mean, when Trump was running, I spoke out against the things he was saying about immigrants, and I was passionate. I was obviously appalled at his comments, and I barely won the election because of that. I literally  _ cannot _ speak up for anything I believe in, because it gets blocked by other officials, it gets ridiculed by citizens, and then the news does a segment about my fitness to be in office."

John nudged Laf's shoulder a bit. "No, you're right. Alex does have the privilege to lash out, and you don't. It's not fair, and it's frankly bullshit."

"And then when I don't say anything about anything and just do my job, I'm a pushover who lets people walk all over me with no protest. I cannot win." Lafayette sipped his beer. "Sometimes I get sick of it all."

John looked over at Lafayette. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I've served over five terms, I've done what I know is right and I've received mostly contempt for it. For years I have been jeered mercilessly, and recently I've gotten sick of it. There's this little flower shop, maybe ten blocks from my house, and I would give anything to just, stop. To work there, come home, and give flowers to Herc. I could retire if I wanted. My house is paid off, my student debt is nonexistent because most of my schooling took place overseas. I could just, stop."

"Why don't you?" John asked.

"Because what about the people coming to New York from war-ridden countries and seeking asylum? The people who need someone to take mercy on them? What if, what if the next person who gets elected into my position isn't like me? if they hate immigrants?" Lafayette took another sip of his beer. "I feel as though I owe it to the next generation of immigrants to protect them."

John paused, thinking. "I wish I could give you some life-changing advice, but I've never really had to deal with stuff like this. If you want my honest opinion though? If it's not making you happy anymore, there's only so long you can help before you stop remembering why you're helping in the first place. There's nothing wrong with knowing that you've done the best you can and stepping down. And if you don’t want to retire now, if you want to help more people before you go out in a flaming ball of glory, the flower shop will be waiting for you."

Lafayette sighed, smiling at John. "Thank you."

"Of course," John nodded, downing the rest of his beer and getting another.

Lafayette smiled. "I really don't know what I would be doing without Hercules right now."

John looked over.

Lafayette shrugged. "He's so, God, I dunno. I don't want to gush about your friend to you. I feel as though it would be annoying."

John shook his head. "I mean, he does it plenty, it’s only fair if you get a turn."

Lafayette grinned, blushing. "He's just, he’s incredible. I don't know how to describe it. He's got this way with words, I wish to listen to him speak all day. And he's so beautiful. God, I want to marry him, John. I want to grow old with him. He makes me so happy, and I cannot see myself with anyone else."

"You seem to treat him well, and that's all I want for him." John looked down. "You know, I was there when his wife left him. I was the first person he called. And he was, he was heartbroken. He was sobbing, barely functioning. He and I lived together for a few months so I could help him out, make sure he was doing okay and stuff like that." John smiled a bit. "I was also the first person he called when you told him you were in love with him. He was ecstatic, talking so fast, so happily. He just, he told me how much he wanted to be with you. He told me how happy he was with you."

Lafayette smiled widely, picturing the way Herc looked when he was happy.

"Hercules is my best friend," John admitted. "He's one of the few people I've known since before Phillip was born, and he just, he was there for me just as much as I was there for me. I just, it makes me really happy to see him be with someone who also makes him happy. Just for your information though, if you hurt him, I will fight you. Like, we will square up in a Denny's parking lot at three am across the river in Jersey."

"Is that legal?" Lafayette snorted.

"Everything is legal in New Jersey," John replied.

Lafayette sighed, looking around. "I'm probably drunk enough to sleep now. Thank you, John, for the conversation. Are you gonna head up?"

John shook his head. "I'll probably have a few more drinks, but yeah. See you tomorrow morning."

Lafayette nodded. "See you tomorrow."

John sighed a bit and looked around the kitchen as Lafayette left. John went to the fridge and grabbed a pudding cup out of it, wondering when the last time he ate was. Alex would probably prefer if he ate it just in case, John decided, opening it up and eating it as he sipped his beer. He sat at the kitchen counter, skimming over yesterday's newspaper. He didn't realize how long he had been in the kitchen until Alex stumbled in at six am, wearing nothing but his boxers and a tee shirt. He looked a little bleary-eyed but perked up when he saw John.

"Hey, baby, I was wondering where you went," the older man chuckled, wrapping his arms around John from behind and resting his head on John's shoulder. "When did you wake up?"

John shrugged. "Didn't really sleep. Came downstairs to have a few beers, but it just made me feel bloated, so now I'm here. How'd you sleep?"

"Mm, okay, but I missed you," Alex mumbled. "Gimme a kiss."

John turned around, pulling Alex closer and pressing a kiss to his lips. Alex chuckled and pushed his fingers through John's hair, tugging a bit as John grabbed his ass. John stood up, hoisting Alex onto the counter. John's hands roamed around Alex's thighs as the two kissed. It felt good, the way Alex's nails dug into John's back lightly, the way Alex's wrapping his legs around John's waist to provide some friction for the both of them.

"I absolutely adore you," Alex muttered.

John sighed, pressing his forehead to Alex's. "And I, you." John paused for a second. "Do you ever think about marriage?"

"Hm? Sometimes, yeah, why?" Alex asked, curling a tuft of John's hair in his fingers.

John shrugged. "I was talking to Lafayette last night since he couldn't really sleep either, and he was talking about how he wanted to marry Herc, and it just got me thinking about marriage and stuff like that. But I know your first experience was kinda shitty, so like, I just wanna know, do you like, are you still interested in that? Not to be pushy or freak you out or anything, just out of curiosity and whatnot."

Alex pecked John's lips and grinned. "Not with Eliza, no. Uh, seriously though? If I found someone who makes me feel really happy, then yeah. Someone who's smart, and strong, thick-headed, but in the best way. Someone who is caring for other people, and who doesn't try to change the person I am. Someone who can cook, and who will stomach going to stupid work events with me. Oh, and they absolutely have to have at least one kid already. Uh, curly hair, freckles, and a great ass. A steady job, nice voice." Alex gently flipped over John's hands, tracing the lines in his palms. "Big hands."

"Hmm, I might know someone like that," John chuckled.

"Oh, really? You should give me his number, I'm really looking for an out from my current relationship," Alex commented sarcastically.

"You're a dork," John scoffed, pecking Alex's lips.

Alex smiled, tugging on John's hair a little bit. "In all seriousness, John." Alex leaned in and gently kissed the younger man again. "As long as I was with the right guy, marriage wouldn't be an issue at all."

John chuckled, pulling Alex a bit closer and kissing his lips. "You know, sometimes I think I like you way more than I should. Then I see the way you look at me, how nicely you treat Phillip, how kind and amazing you are, and I think that I like you just the right amount."

"Oh? Yeah? What's the right amount?" Alex asked, chuckling a bit.

"Just enough to suggest that we slip in a quickie in the kitchen before everyone else wakes up. Besides, even if Laf and Herc come down and see us, what are they gonna do?"

"Ask to join," Alex snorted.

"Is that a yes?" John smirked.

Alex sighed, kissing John again. "We’ve gotta be really quiet, but other than that? Yes."

  
  



	18. Jamaican drug dealers and fourth of July barbecues

**** “You know," Alex mused as he sat in his office with Lafayette. "I could just fake my own death and ride away into the sunset with John and Phillip, and never come back to work again."

Lafayette chuckled. "That honestly sounds nice. It is difficult to be an immigrant working in government in the era of Trump, yet here we are."

Alex laughed and rolled his eyes. It was the first of July. Summer was in full swing, and Alex had returned back from California with John and Phillip recently. Phillip hadn’t liked being on a plane, but he’d absolutely adored the California way of life. John had fun on vacation, and Alex had no idea how much John enjoyed just sitting on the beach and drinking pina coladas. The hotel was amazing, and so was the nightlife. Alex had so many pictures on his phone of John and Phillip just being cute. All things considered, the vacation was amazing, ending with John and Alex talking on their red-eye flight back to New York about a vacation for next summer, then John passing out against Alex, while Alex staying up to work.

"I'm so close to retirement I can taste is," Lafayette sighed. "It's coming."

"It is," Alex agreed. "I wanna get my house paid off first, but I'm almost done. When I retire, I'm sitting down and I'm just writing, nonstop, making out with John, who will by then have become my husband. Facetiming my now adopted son Phillip while he’s off in college." Alex sighed, spinning around in his chair. "Someday."

"You really love those two, don't you?" Lafayette chuckled.

Alex nodded, smiling. "I do, Lafayette. I mean, what's not to like? John is great, Phillip is amazing, and let's face it, there aren't many people as hot as John who would want to date someone like me."

"What are you talking about?" Lafayette scoffed. "You're a delight."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah, I'm real great. I mean, the total package right here. Old, only eighty percent of an actual body, fucked up face, tragic backstory, and a tendency to wake up hyperventilating and sweating. Who wouldn't want that? Oh yeah, literally everyone I've been with ever."

"Whatever. What about that dude you were with during Afghanistan, huh?" Lafayette countered. "You still wear his ring, so there must've been something good there."

Alex shook his head. "Nah. If he hadn’t gotten shot, I would've never gotten this ring. It was more of a 'you never realize what you got until you're about to lose it' kind of thing. We were good for a while though, but then I messed shit up."

"You loved him, didn't you?" Lafayette observed.

Alex nodded. "Yeah, I did. Anyway, how are we coming on the whole Parent And Child thing? I've basically finished what I needed to do, what about you?"

"I'm gonna need around a week, then we can schedule the trial and get shit worked on." Lafayette sighed. "Fourth of July is still at Washington's, correct?"

"Yup," Alex confirmed. "I'm gonna get some orange soda, sit down by Washington's pool, and get a tan. Freshen up my California-y look. Hey, how did meeting Herc's parents go?"

"His mom was nice, but I don't think his dad likes me very much," Lafayette reported. "I'd bet ten bucks it's because I'm mixed."

"But you're still black," Alex pointed out, confused.

"You know, there's some discrimination against interracial marriage and mixed people in certain countries in Africa. In some places, interracial marriage isn't even legal." Lafayette shrugged, looking down. "If I went to my Grandma's home town, it’s likely that I’d have a less than pleasant experience there. Herc's dad didn't seem to enjoy me talking about my white papa and my black mama. Turned his nose up a bit at me when I mentioned how happy their marriage was. They'd like me a lot more if I was all black, but what can I do?"

"You think their opinion of you is gonna affect Herc's opinion of you?" Alex asked.

Laf shrugged. "He sat me down before they arrived and told me their opinions of me might not be the best, but it had nothing to do with who I was. I mean, people's families are different, I get that, but I wonder if Herc is going to want someone who's, well, who's not me. I dunno, I've been thinking too much."

"If you feel self-conscious or nervous, just talk to Herc," Alex stated. "You're just gonna keep wondering if you don't. Just, be straight up and ask him. I really think he's gonna say that he doesn't want anyone besides you, though. I mean, come on, the dude loves you. Oh, and let's not forget how badass you were after his arrest, marching into the courthouse and literally demanding, to the judge, that Herc was cleared of any charges and his record wiped clean."

Lafayette chuckled. "I did do that."

Alex was about to say more, but the receptionist buzzed him. "Mr. Hamilton, someone in the lobby to see you."

Alex smiled, standing up. "If you will excuse me, Lafayette."

"Duty calls," Laf chuckled.

Alex stepped out of his office, walking down the hall to the elevator. He pulled out his phone, texting John, confirming that he'd pick up Phillip and dinner on the way home. Alex couldn't help but stare at his screensaver for a second, smiling. It was of John and Phillip in a small cafe near the beach. They had planned to have a nice beach day, but it started raining, so they’d taken refuge in a little cafe. Phillip had a hot chocolate foam mustache and was smiling widely at the camera. John wasn't even looking at the camera, but instead rolling his eyes back in his head at the amazing taste of his drink. Alex had captured the photo just at the right moment, and even when John scolded him for the ridiculous way he looked in the photo, Alex still refused to take it off of his screen.

The elevator dinged and Alex looked up, smiling at the sight in front of him. John was making small talk with the receptionist, smiling a bit. He looked like he just finished teaching his classes since he was only wearing some cuffed sweatpants and a muscle tee. It was clear how John had filled out since the two of them had started getting better about making sure John was eating. The way his arms and legs looked thicker. His skin was a richer brown now, and his freckles stood out even more. Then there was his ass, which had gotten fuller and rounder.

"Hello, dear," Alex sang, coming over to John.

"Ah, my darling Alexander. How's work been so far?" John asked.

Alex shrugged. "Meh. Better now that you're here. Wanna get out of here and fool around in the back of my car?"

John chuckled and gently kissed Alex's lips. "I'm meeting Martha for coffee in ten, and then I have to pick up Phillip after that, so no. But I brought you coffee from that place you like over near my work."

"Whose number is on the cup?" Alex asked, observing the sloppily written number on the white paper to-go cup.

"There's a number on the cup?" John creased his brows, twisting his head around to get a look. "Oh, so that barista was flirting with me. Okay, just ignore that. Anyway, coffee."

Alex grinned and took the cup. "How's your day been so far?"

John shrugged. "Not bad. My students are crazy, but when are they not?" A chuckle escaped the younger man. "Anyway, I just missed you I guess. I know I'm gonna see you in a couple of hours, but I wanted to see you now."

Alex smiled, gently taking John's hand and squeezing it. "You are absolutely perfect. Hey, did you get my text about Washington's house for Fourth Of July?"

John nodded. "I did. Sorry, I didn't reply, I was in the middle of a class. Yes, I got the text. That sounds great. Did you say bring bathing suits? I don't think Phillip and I really own bathing suits, unless you want me going in the tiny spandex shorts I dance in."

"Ooh, I really,  _ really _ do," Alex nodded his head eagerly.

"Whatever. We'll go shopping." John sighed and gently kissed Alex's lips. "What do you wanna do tonight?"

Alex shrugged. "Uh, I don't really know. I have a bit of work I gotta do most likely tonight, and then I might be home in, like, half an hour later. I'm still recovering from the work I missed on our vacation." Alex chuckled, squeezing John's hand. "Worth it though. I might be up late tonight too, so feel free to come to pull me from my office at three am before you leave for your shift."

"You can work in our room if you want to. The light from your laptop screen won't bother me, and I sleep better when you're next to me, even if you're working," John offered.

Alex smiled and sighed, pecking John's lips. "I absolutely adore you, John."

John offered another kiss on the lips. "And I, you. Alright, I gotta get going. I need to buy swimsuits, eggs, beer, and bread, Phillip needs to be picked up in two hours, and I will see you at home. Alright, uh, text me if you need anything else at the store. I'll be around."

"Cool," Alex nodded. "Goodbye."

"Bye, hon," John smiled, popping his ass as he walked away.

Alex sighed happily and made his back upstairs, sipping his coffee, which was really good. He did like that coffee place near John's work. He liked John. Alex had never felt so content with a relationship, and God, he didn't want to lose this. It was sweet, comforting. It was relaxed and happy. Alex could live the rest of his life like this. Between the sex, the caring, the family, and everything else, shit was just perfect.

"Who brought you coffee?" Lafayette teased as Alex walked back into the office.

"My  _ boyfriend _ ," Alex sang, sitting down and sipping his drink. "It has the barista's number on it though, which is funny because John was buying the coffee for me, his boyfriend."

Lafayette snorted. "That's funny. You know, Herc gets jealous, and it's the cutest thing in the world. Like, he doesn't want to say anything when I'm being flirted with, but he gets really clingy, and he's it’s so cute."

Alex paused, thinking. "No one has ever really flirted with me, so I've never seen what John is like when he's jealous. I guess that's what you get for dating an ugly guy."

"How about I just call up Angie and let her get a little handsy with you, see just how jealous John gets," Lafayette snorted.

"Funny." Alex rolled his eyes, sipping his coffee. "We don't even joke about that."

"Do you seriously not trust yourself enough to stay loyal to John?" Lafayette asked. "I mean, come on, you absolutely adore the guy. You think you couldn't keep your hands off of our state lawyer?"

"I was drop dead in love with Jay and I couldn't keep my hands off of her, so yeah, I'm a little wary about hanging out with her right now. I'm sure one day after John and I have gotten married, I’ll be able to see her again. As long as John is handcuffed to me." Alex chuckled. "Anyway, now I'm curious to know what John is like when he's jealous."

"Maybe he's been jealous but he trusts you enough to not do anything," Lafayette shrugged.

"Bullshit. No one does that," Alex scoffed. "Any motherfucker that would trust me is an idiot. Maybe I can pay someone to flirt with me to see what John does, you know?"

Lafayette rolled his eyes. "You are so self-destructive that it’s scary."

Alex sighed, sipping his coffee. "Maybe I'm just overreacting."

"About  _ what _ ?" Lafayette clarified.

"Everything," Alex replied.

"You are," Lafayette stated. "But in your defense, you're about four times smaller than the normal man, so all your big emotions are packed into a tiny space, and you have to feel them much more often with much greater intensity."

Alex flipped Lafayette the bird and sighed, looking at his computer. "I don't wanna work, I just wanna bang on this drum all day." Alex pulled out a few papers that he needed to sign and began to tick those off. It was busy work since he couldn't focus on what he needed to do. Sometimes, Alex genuinely did not want to work, and that usually came right before Alex did nothing but work, which is almost what Alex needed right now since he was a little behind. A little calm before the storm. "Are you gonna propose to Herc?"

"Hm?" Lafayette hummed, eyes still on his monitor.

"You and Herc, are you gonna propose?" Alex repeated, looking up as he signed over a few things, read over another few things. "I mean, I heard you were gonna get your parent's wedding bands when you take him to France."

Lafayette shrugged. "I think it'll probably be good to have them on hand."

"You're a terrible liar," Alex reminded his friend.

Lafayette smiled and came over, sitting down on Alex's desk, pulling up a picture. "This is the ring I'm gonna propose to him with. Well, with a few adjustments, no side diamonds since Herc stated he hated that in a ring, but the silver band with his birthstone embedded in it. Then, for my parent's wedding bands, I was thinking I could have the original engravement filled and then I could engrave mine and Herc's wedding day into it. Though this all depends on whether or not he says yes. Anyway, what do you think?"

"Well, hold on, does Herc know you want to marry him?" Alex mused.

"Yes. About three months into the relationship, I told him I was gonna marry him, and he told me that it was a bold statement, and I told him that I didn't care, because I love him," Lafayette retold.

Alex chuckled. "That's cute and intense and obsessive. How do you want to ask him?"

"I don't know," Lafayette shrugged. "I'll know when the time is right whenever it happens."

"Well, it better be epic, because I don't want to hear about a boring proposal," Alex snorted.

"What about you and John? Any talk of marriage?" Lafayette asked. "I mean, nine months is kind of a long time to date in your thirties."

Alex shook his head, signing off something else. "No, not yet. He has a bit of trouble talking about commitment, so if it comes up, then I'll talk about it, but I don't want to pressure him."

"Do you think about marriage?" Lafayette asked.

"Yeah, I do. I mean, the relationship has been kinda slow, emotionally I mean. We haven't even said the L word yet," Alex admitted.

"How?" Lafayette gasped. "I think I said it a month or two in! It was a bit of an accident since we were fucking and it just slipped out, but man, it was great to hear those words back. What do you think he'd say if you told him?"

"Well, hold on, what makes you assume that-"

Lafayette rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid, Alex, answer the question."

Alex looked down, shrugging. "I don't know. I mean, I do. I do love him." Alex let out a breath. "I am completely and utterly in love with John Laurens. And I don't think he knows."

"Tell him," Lafayette scolded.

Alex shrugged. "I will, I just gotta figure out the right time. You know me and timing, in that I suck at it." Alex leaned back. "I don't even know who would propose to who between John and I. We're probably never gonna get married no matter what because both of us are too wimpy to actually talk about our feelings."

"You two need to  _ communicate  _ about your feelings, God damn," Lafayette groaned. "You're not teenagers, you need to be honest. Most of your problems come from not being up front. I'm sure if you just told him you were in love with him, and you wanted to marry him, he would be fine with it, yeah? Why don't you?"

"Because I don't." Alex threw a pen at Lafayette. "Why ruin a perfect thing?"

"How is it perfect if you’re hiding how you truly feel?" Lafayette sighed. "Man up."

"Okay, we do have our own version of I love you, though," Alex defended. "We confess our adoration for each other, so I think we're okay. There’s no mask, he knows how I feel, I adore him. And besides, since when did you become a philosophist? John and I are very happy together, and just because we haven't confessed our undying love for each other or whatever, doesn't mean we're doomed. Sometimes people just need more time to be able to manage things like this."

Lafayette held up his hands. "Alright, whatever you say, Alex."

Alex smiled, looking down at his phone to see a text from John that was just a picture of two pigeons fightings over dropped ice cream. "John and I are just fine."

-

The morning of the fourth of July party was spent in bed. Phillip had crawled in at some point in the night, curling up against John's chest and falling back asleep, and Alex couldn't help but snap a few pictures, since what fool couldn't absolutely adore how adorable those two were? When John awoke and found Phillip was still sleeping, he quietly talked to Alex, working out a few tangles from his son's hair with his fingers. Phillip really needed to get it cut.

"I could probably stay in bed my whole life," John mumbled.

Alex nodded in agreement. "There's definitely something to be said about that plan. What should we make for breakfast?"

"You mean what should  _ I  _ make for breakfast?" John teased. "Probably just oatmeal. I'm too tired to make eggs. We gotta wait until Phillip wakes up though because his head is on my arm, and it's against the law to move if your child is sleeping on you. Same with cats or dogs."

Alex chuckled. "Do you think Phillip likes me? Like, as a person who's dating you and living in the same house as him?"

John nodded. "If he didn't, he would've told me, and I ask him."

"You ask him?" Alex asked.

"I always ask him," John replied. "His happiness matters just as much as mine." John gently kissed the top of Phillip's head. "He's my son."

Alex gently pushed a bit of hair out of John's face. "I absolutely adore you, John Laurens." Alex took John's hand and kissed his knuckles. "Speaking of haircuts, what would you think if I wanted to get mine cut?"

"In what way?" John mumbled, trying to push out the image in his mind of Alex with a mullet.

"Shorter," Alex answered. "Like, something short and sharp, professional. I dunno, I've had long hair since I went on my bender, and I feel like it's just, it's time to commemorate the fact that I’m not an alcoholic anymore with breakup hair. And, yeah, I mean, my hearing aid and shit will be on parade for the whole world to see, but I can take the questions. I'm a grown man."

John nodded, smiling and trying to imagine him with short hair. "I think you would look cute. I might miss it at first, but I can see you with your cute short hair, doing Governor things and running New York."

Alex bit his lip, squeezing John's hand, sighing softly, and sitting up. "I gotta look over a few things because I'm gonna drop them off at Washington's place when we get there. He doesn't like talking work outside of work, so I'm just gonna pick the lock on his office and drop some papers off on his desk. I'll leave you and Pip to lay in bed all morning."

"No!" John gasped. "I'll be bored. Come on, Alex, do you have to work? It's  _ Saturday,  _ baby. It's the weekend, and you want to leave your boyfriend in bed alone to go do work."

"You're not alone, you have Phillip," Alex pointed out as he began to put on the first cover for his leg. "And besides, the sooner I get my leg on, the sooner I don't have to agonize over putting my leg on."

"Do you really not like putting your leg on?" John asked.

"I have to put on layer one so my skin doesn't get irritated, then layer two so the third layer stays on, and then the third layer with the pin so I can stay in the leg." Alex grabbed the leg and put his stump into it, then stood up. "Then I have to put all my weight on something that isn't connected to me, until I hear the little pin clicking, and then boom." Alex let out a breath as he heard the little click. "I have a leg."

"Just like that," John chuckled.

"Just like that," Alex confirmed. "Alright, I'll see you whenever Phillip wakes up or rolls off of your arm. I-" Alex cut himself off, looking down at John. There was a moment where he just wanted to spit it.  _ I love you. _

"You what?" John laughed.

"I think we should probably pick up more beer or something, since Thomas is probably going to get wasted, and there's gonna be no more beer for anyone else," Alex suggested.

"Oh, yeah, that reminds me, let's stop by my weed guy's house because there's no way I'm gonna break my streak of getting high on July fourth. Ever since I was fifteen, I-"

"You've been smoking pot since you were fifteen?" Alex asked, slipping on some sweatpants.

"Thirteen, actually," John corrected. "I think you'd like my dealer, Justin. He's really cool, and sometimes he gives me extra weed because one time, in college, I-" John stopped, looking down at Phillip. "Offered goods and services."

Alex sucked in some air, grabbing his laptop. "Good God, John, I want to hear more about that later. Okay, I need to work. You do your thing."

"I'm gonna nap," John smiled hugging Phillip a bit closer. "I never liked waking up early anyway, so I'm gonna have ten more minutes."

"Alright, I'll see you downstairs. I adore you, John Laurens," Alex smiled.

"And I, you," John responded, closing his eyes and hugging Phillip a bit closer.

-

"So this is drug dealer Justin's house who you fornicated with once?" Alex asked as John and he approached the brownstone apartment. Phillip had been left in the car, listening to OutKast by request, so John didn't have to worry about his son accidentally eating a pot brownie.

"Yes," John replied, entering the brownstone and climbing the steps to Justin's apartment. "He also sells shrooms, but I don't really do shrooms anymore since I had a bad trip one time and it freaked me out too much. That was the one where I watched my skin melt off the bone. It was like that scene in Poltergeist."

"I've never done shrooms," Alex admitted.

John shrugged a bit. "You're not really missing out on anything. It's hallucinogenic, kinda crazy. I'd probably do it again if I needed to write a song or something, but not casually. Not a responsible-adult drug." John got to a door and pounded on it three times. "Yo, Justin!"

A few seconds later, the door was opened and the smell of pot practically assaulted the two of them. A guy leaned against the doorway, smiling. His eyes were bloodshot and read. "John, welcome, welcome, ignore the girls on the couch."

"I'll try," John joked, pulling Alex into the apartment. "This is my boyfriend, Alex."

"Nice to meet you, Alex" Justin smiled. "John, how much did you want?"

"Usual order," John stated.

"Alright, alright," Justin rubbed his hands together, going into his kitchen. "Your man want anything?"

"Oh, no, uh, I don't really-"

"He ain't a stoner," John informed Justin.

Justin laughed as he looked through his freezer, trying to find the bag with John's name on it. "Can't believe you’re dating someone who isn't a stoner. Alex, your man used to smoke so much, I couldn’t even keep up with him." Justin handed John a bag. "Twenty five bucks, baby."

John pulled out his wallet and gave Justin and ten and a twenty. "Keep the change." John took the bag. "Thanks, dude, I'll see you when I run out. Happy fourth of July."

"It's the Fourth of July? We must celebrate!" Justin smiled, walking into the living room. "Ladies, it’s freedom day! Let's get high!"

John smiled as he pulled Alex out of the apartment. "Can't believe I hooked up with that guy."

Alex chuckled, squeezing John's hand. "After hearing all these things about you in college, I can."

John scoffed. "Whatever. You're lucky I like you."

"And I know that if you liked me too, what a wonderful world this would be!" Alex recited.

After leaving Justin's place, the trio drove to the party, arriving a bit late thanks to traffic. Everyone was in the backyard, the kids were swimming, and Washington was working the barbecue. John applied some sunscreen to Phillip's face, then put on the kid's floaties before letting him jump into Washington's pool. Lafayette was making a sangria for Herc, Thomas was talking to Sally, James was keeping Washington company with Peggy, while Martha, John's boss, talked to Washington's kids, smiling as she talked to Washington's kids.

"Yo Herc!" John smiled, pulling off his shirt to go sit in the sun with his friend. John had on a pair of blue swim shorts that somehow still made his ass look great, and Alex was  _ drooling _ . Alex was wearing his water-proof prosthetic since he knew there was no way he was making it to the end of the night without getting wet.

"Hey! Johnny!" Herc smiled.

John pulled Alex over to the table where Herc and Laf were sitting. "Hey, guys, what's up? Gorgeous day out."

"Gorgeous, because now John has an excuse to take his shirt off," Herc snorted as Laf sat back down. "I mean, if I had a body like that, I would too."

"Your body is beautiful, Herc," Lafayette stated, reaching over to a cooler and pulling out a beer for John and a beer for himself. "God, it's fucking hot out."

"Summer in the city, back of my neck getting dirty and gritty," Alex sang, nodding his head. "Man, New York has the hottest summers, I swear. Happy Fourth though."

"Hey, Lex, John, what do y'all want?" Washington asked. "I have burgers, hot dogs, veggie burgers, and I could barbecue up some vegetables too."

"I'll take a burger!" Alex replied.

"Same here," John agreed.

"Hey, John, you know it's almost been a year since you moved in with me," Alex mentioned.

"Let's bake a pie!" Laf cheered. "The start of this beautiful ‘relationship’ is almost at its one year mark."

John rolled his eyes, chuckling. "What about y'all? One year dating is coming up on you two pretty quick."

"We'll be in France when that happens," Herc stated. "It's gonna be nice because Laf's family is good with kids, so we can go out and get a cute hotel or something, you know? Have a nice dinner, get a bottle of wine-"

"And fuck," Alex finished, sighing mockingly.

"Alex," John scolded.

"No, he's right," Herc nodded. "It's gonna be great."

John snorted, sipping his beer. "I hate Heineken. Sam Adams is the only valid beer. I'm still going to drink it though because I'm an American on America day and I will get a little buzzed because I am an American and it is my right."

Alex laughed a bit, placing his hand on John's thigh. "I guess I'll be driving us home."

John nodded. "Yup."

"Hey boys!" Peggy smiles, coming over. Her blue hijab looked cute, paired with her blue swim-dress and white leggings. She sat herself down next to Alex, smiling. "It's hot out."

"For real," John agreed, fanning himself a bit. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the New York heat, but sometimes I could do without it, yeah?"

"New York heat is the worst," Washington stated, bringing over John and Alex's burgers and sitting down. "You know, back in Virginia-"

"Oh God," Lafayette groaned. "Back in Virginia you would go to the pond as a boy and eat fresh cherries and catch frogs."

"Back in Virginia you would climb up apple trees and scare your sisters, then help them pick apples so they could bake apple pies," Alex continued.

Washington rolled his eyes. "They get sick of my Virginia stories, can you tell?"

John rolled his eyes, offering a high five to Washington. "Southern bros."

Washington returned it and smiled. "Back in Virginia the heat was just right, and you could see the stars at night, and there were a million lakes and ponds to go to."

John nodded. "You ever miss the south?"

Washington nodded. "Not enough to go back, but enough to visit. I like New York too much to ever leave. I know Alex wants to get out of here, though."

"I do not," Alex scoffed. "Would I like a home in Puerto Rico? Yes. Would I spend these horrible New York winters in that home? Absolutely. But could I ever truly leave New York? Never. This place is my home as well. Specifically Manhattan. I could never live in Buffalo or Albany, not again. Especially Buffalo."

Peggy snorted. "If you went back to Buffalo, I might think something is wrong with you."

Alex nodded. "And you'd be right." Alex stretched a bit. "How is Crazy, by the way? I haven't heard of any mass murders in London, so I figured she was dead."

"Crazy is fine," Peggy laughed. "I haven't caught up with her in a bit, but she's off doing something. I'm pretty sure she's working at an orphanage right now."

"Hold on, you're telling me that Eliza, the Eliza I married, is now working with children?" Alex shook his head. "That's gotta be like, the most backward thing in the world."

"Yeah, especially after the wine incident," Peggy snorted.

"Incidents," Alex corrected. "Eliza and I have had many wine incidents, never the same, but always similar."

"Hold on, what exactly happened during these incidents?" John asked, chuckling.

"Oh, nothing," Alex laughed. "Eliza was just being Eliza."

John stood up, stretching and picking up his plate. "I'm gonna go talk to James and Sally." John leaned down a bit. "Kiss."

Alex chuckled and tilted his head up, kissing John. "Mm, I'll see you later, dear."

"You will," John confirmed, pecking Alex's lips one more time before making his to where Sally, James, and his boss, Martha, sat. Sally had on a cute high waisted bikini and James wore some swim trunks and nothing else, while Martha wore a kimono over her bathing suit.

"John Laurens, back and better than ever," Sally chuckled. "Looking good, killer. Sit down, sit down."

"Hey, Jemmy Jams, Sally, Martha. What's popping?" John asked, sipping his beer.

"Well, James was about to tell us his first crush," Sally giggled.

"Yeah, yeah," James laughed. "Her name was Dolly Todd. She was tall for an eighth-grade girl, with these  _ long _ legs. We did end up making out at Christopher Greene's house, during a heated session of seven minutes in heaven. I got to touch her boobs, and that was enough for fourteen-year-old me to masturbate to for months."

"Nice," Sally laughed. "My first crush was, oh, what was her name?" Sally paused for a second, thinking. "Well, I really liked Scarlett Johansson and Drew Barrymore, but my first school crush was a girl named Abigail something. She was real cute. Not really into the ladies, but cute. What about you, Martha?"

"His name was Jean Baptiste. It was high school, and he had the legs of a runner and the ass of a model. He was hot as hell, and we ended up dating for a little bit before we went off to college." Martha laughed a bit. "What about you, John?"

John shrugged. "Uh, I really liked Britney Spears, and then when I was in seventh grade, there was this girl, I forget her name, but she was kinda nerdy and dorky, and funny. Uh, yeah, no, it was nothing special."

"Hey, darling," Thomas smiled, sitting down next to James and kissing the side of his head. "Hey, y'all."

"First crush?" Sally asked, sipping her beer. "We're going around. John liked Britney Spears, Martha liked a guy named Jean Baptiste, I liked Drew Barrymore, and James had a thing for a girl named Dolly Todd. What about you?"

"Mary Smith, or something," Thomas remembered. "She was this really sweet girl who sold peaches at the end of my block. Pretty red hair, nice eyes, and the tits of a supermodel. We ended up making out in the back of my Dodge Ram, and she was a pretty good kisser. I mean, I've had better, but I've had..." Thomas trailed off, staring at someone or something over John’s shoulder.

"Man, why do I always have to come in and save the party?" A voice laughed. He turned to see a man holding Theo, standing next to Dosia. The man was tall, with warm, chocolatey brown skin and a shiny bald head. He wore a clever grin, sporting pineapple sunglasses, holding a pool tube and a six pack of beer.

"Aaron!" Alex yelled, leaping out of his chair and running over to the bald man, tackling him in a hug. Thomas shot up too, sprinting towards the two of them and slamming into the two of them, arms open. 

John was confused, to say the least. The three men were swearing tearfully, causing Dosia to move away with them for the sake of Theo.

"Do you know who..." John trailed off, unable to peel his eyes away from the scene.

"No clue," James answered honestly.

Alex, Thomas, and the bald man still hadn't let go of each other yet. Thomas, being the taller of all of them, enveloped them both in his arms, rocking the group a little. Alex, being the smallest, was practically squished between the two taller men.

Washington stood up and approached them. "Soldiers."

Instantly, the three men broke apart, standing at attention. Shoulders back, heads up, arms at their side. You could see all three of them trying to fight back smiles. Washington was looking them up and down. The whole thing felt military.

"It's good to see you three back together," Washington smiled.

"Thank you, Major," Aaron nodded.

"Aaron, you look well," Washington complimented.

"Thank you, Major," Aaron replied.

Washington finally broke, pulling Aaron into a tight hug. "Welcome home, Aaron."

John turned to look at James. "Should we like, go over there or something?"

James shook his head. "I'm just gonna let them figure it out."

John nodded and looked back over. Aaron, Thomas, and Alex were all talking at rapid speeds, and Aaron was fucking with Alex's hair, Thomas laughing and smiling. Aaron said something and Alex punched his shoulder, scoffing and laughing.

"And then  _ this _ motherfucker, he had the audacity to call me up stone-cold drunk and beg for me to pick him up.  _ And _ he was all the way in the lower east side, so I had to drive fifty minutes in traffic, and when I get there, he's not there," Alex recounted. "I call him, and I'm like, 'Thomas, where the fuck are you?' Turns out, this motherfucker had found a girl to take him home, and didn't think to tell me I didn't have to drive up through gentrified New York to come get him."

"Thomas!" Aaron scolded. "I can't leave you two alone at all, can I?"

"Dude, dude, are you going back or has your contract expired yet? You've been doing this for  _ years _ !" Thomas complained.

"Nope, that was my last deployment, so if you know anyone who wants to hire a freshly out of war vet, please shoot me a call," Aaron chuckled.

"You do not wanna get a job straight out of deployment, trust me," Thomas assured Aaron. "Take a little time, we'll lend you cash if you need it, but you need to just relax and adjust to civilian life. That's the hardest part, believe me."

"I boarded up my windows and put three new locks on the door," Alex agreed. "Thomas what did you do?"

"I had bushes planted in the grass area in front of my house to try and create a barrier between me and the outside world because you know how the army uses shrubbery to protect themselves against a GBU forty-three," Thomas joked.

Aaron nodded. "You guys are probably right. Soon as I’m ready, I’ll start working over at the ER near my house, and hopefully make enough to move back to New York." Aaron signed and stretched. "Dosia told me you two had settled down? Are the lucky people here today? I have been wondering the whole car trip who could put up with your sorry asses."

"It's true," Dosia confirmed, lathering Theo with sunscreen. "The whole ride he kept asking what kind of people could possibly deal with you two. Said it didn't make sense."

"John, James, come here and meet our friend!" Thomas called out.

"I met John, and James met Thomas through John because John and James were friends before they met us," Alex explained. "John is the tall, sexy one, and James is the shorter one with the fluffy hair."

"So John is the top?" Aaron laughed.

Alex nodded, grinning lewdly. "Yup."

"Hi, I'm John, it's nice to meet you," John introduced himself, trotting over and shaking Aaron's hand.

"Hey, it's good to meet you too, man," Aaron nodded.

"I'm James." The shortest of the group shook Aaron's hand, smiling.

"It's good to meet you both. I’m Aaron, and I was just wondering how anyone could ever put up with these two, but you two look tough," Aaron teased, knocking Thomas' shoulder.

"We’re absolutely delightful!" Thomas gasped.

Aaron snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, alright. Total delights. James, John, you should be grateful that you'll never have to spend ten months sharing a tent in the middle of nowhere with these two. Between Alex's flings of the week, and Thomas being, well, Thomas, I swear I damn near went crazy, and I was the only medic out there." Aaron laughed. "Do you two remember that burning building that I got trapped in?"

"Oh my God," Alex scoffed, Aaron’s face lighting up.

"Okay, so I was like, nineteen, Alex was twenty-one, and Thomas was, I don’t know, twenty-two. We were trying to save people from a burning school in Afghanistan." Alex chuckled as Dosia stood next to Aaron, wrapping his arms around her. "We got everyone out, but when I went back in to make sure I got trapped. I had a breathing mask on, so I would’ve been fine, but Alex, being the idiot he was at twenty, came running in when he got the radio message that I was trapped. He had a wet bandana over his face, a shirt that he ripped the sleeves off of because they didn't fit over his precious biceps, and some pants and boots. He came running in and, Alex, do you wanna finish the story?"

Alex grinned. "I came running in, and I made it about three feet into the building before I passed out."

"I ended up dragging his sorry ass out. And his precious little arms got burnt in the process, like the stupid idiot he is," Aaron teased.

"I had good arms back then," Alex reminisced. "And I was not the only dumbass. Let's not forget Angie dumping her whole beer on you for flirting with her!"

"I was eighteen, give me a break." Aaron snorted.

"She was like, thirty-three!" Thomas laughed. "You were the scrawniest eighteen-year-old on that base, and you flirted with the woman who was not only with someone else  _ in the base _ at the time, but also the woman you would’ve had no chance with either way."

"Wait, who was Angie with?" Dosia asked. "I mean, I've heard this story before, but I didn't know she was with someone at the time."

Alex sheepishly raised his hand. "We weren't like, together-together, but we had a thing, and no way would Angie do me dirty like that. Too smart to get with someone like Aaron."

"It's why she's our state lawyer," Washington laughed. "Smart as hell."

"Oh yeah," Thomas agreed. "Kind of a bitch, but crazy smart."

"She's the last person we're missing from the group now," Aaron chuckled. "Where is that girl anyway? It feels like I never hear about her."

"Oh, down in Florida or something. She takes on way too many clients, so she's never in her Jersey house. Although, if I lived in Jersey I'd never go home either," Thomas joked. "Last time I called her, she said she was doing good. Tired, but good. You know her."

Washington chuckled. "I really oughta get her up here, and we can all go out."

"I'm sick that night," Alex stated.

"He didn't even set a date," Thomas laughed.

"Still sick," Alex snorted.

Dosia nudged Alex's shoulder. "Aw, Alex could never handle being around Angelica for too long anyway. Hell, I can't even be around that chick for too long. She's intense. Not like Eliza, but she sure as hell isn't  _ easy _ to be around. Something about that family. Except for Peggy, of course." Dosia smiled. "Only normal Schuyler, I swear."

"Only Schuyler that Alex hasn't hooked up with either," Washington laughed.

John chuckled at that.

"Don't the Schuyler's have like, four other brothers?" Aaron asked.

Alex nodded. "They were all pretty great too."

"Alex!" John gasped. "Jesus!"

"What?" Alex asked. "I was twenty-three and I had nothing to do!"

"When he wasn't in the army, he was cheating on his wife," Thomas laughed.

"You cheated on your wife when you were in the army too," Aaron pointed out. "John, I really ought to give you a reward, because you are the first person Alex has been with that he hasn't cheated on. And I know this for a fact because Alex and I have no secrets. I've seen his dick, he can't keep things from me."

"When did you see my dick?" Alex asked incredulously.

“Be real, Alex," Aaron laughed. "We lived in a tent together for a total of what, four or five years, and you had  _ so much _ sex. It was a good day if I didn't see your dick. You haven't seen mine, because I have this thing called modesty."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. There’s this other thing called having a sex life."

Dosia snorted, laughing as she leaned against Aaron a bit. "Oh my God, Alex, if we could like, sit down one day and you told me everything Aaron did in the army-"

"Alright, now feels like the right time, Thomas," Aaron chuckled.

"Wait, for what?" Alex asked.

Suddenly, Aaron and Thomas lunged for Alex and grabbed him by the arms, dragging him to the pool. Alex resisted, but he was no match for the two other men. It was obvious it was in good fun since the curses coming from Alex's mouth didn't even have a hint of panic, more of annoyance. Aaron and Thomas reached the edge of the pool, laughing as Alex let forth a string of words that not even John had heard the man say.

"On three!" Thomas laughed. "One, two, three!"

They threw Alex forward with as much might as they could, but didn't count on Alex holding onto both their arms and dragging them into the pool with them, resulting in shrieking from Thomas, laughter from the kids, and John doubling over with sniggers, spilling his beer.

"We’d better get those three towels," Dosia chuckled, grabbing some towels off of a chair and handing one to John and one to James.

"We're dating two-year-olds," John sighed as he watched Thomas push Alex under for a second. Alex popped back up a second later and launched himself onto Thomas, knocking the taller man back under the water.

"I'm married to one," Dosia chuckled, gesturing to Aaron, who was splashing Thomas.

"They look like teenagers," James pointed out.

John nodded. "They really do."

"Phillip, help me!" Alex gasped, doggy paddling away.

Phillip just laughed, swimming away from Alex with his floaties, and cackling as Thomas grabbed Alex's feet and pulled him under again.

Dosia laughed, walking over to the pool. "One of you is gonna get hurt!"

"Bet!" Aaron replied, attempting to tackle Thomas.

Thomas pulled Alex into a headlock, not seeing Aaron coming up behind them. "We're fine!"

"Yeah!" Alex agreed before he was once again pushed under by Aaron who was climbing on top of Thomas.

John sighed, looking at James. "They're all idiots."

James nodded. "Yeah, but they're our idiots."

Finally, the three men pulled themselves from the pool, dripping wet. Thomas' hair was sagging and James commented on how he looked like a wet poodle. Alex could barely see where he was going due to the fact that his hair was covering his face and wasn't cooperating with his attempts to move it. Aaron was fine, running up to Dosia and kissing her cheek, causing her to squeal from how wet he was.

"Alex, baby, let me help," John chuckled, coming over and helping Alex pushing the hair out of his face. "There we go."

Alex smiled and leaned up, kissing John's lips. "Thank you." He stepped back a bit, peeling his white tee shirt, which was now soaked, from his body and taking the towel from John, wrapping it around his shoulders. "That felt good."

"Come on, let's go sit down, you weirdo," John smiled, kissing Alex's forehead.

The two of them sat down with Aaron, Dosia, Thomas, and James, laughing and catching up. Aaron seemed really nice, and John didn't mind sipping his beer and leaning against Alex as they listened to the man's stories, learning things about Alex and Thomas that he hadn't heard before. 

The day went on, John eventually jumping in the pool with Herc to cool down from the heat, and the kids stuffing their faces with chips and hot dogs. The adults ended up breaking out some pot, John getting a little stoned, and Hercules getting  _ really _ stoned, making Laf have to stop drinking so he'd be able to drive them home. It was getting darker, but the oppressive heat had yet to relent. Washington was making some food for people.

John was sitting on a cushioned bench, sipping his third beer of the night, when Phillip approached him. John smiled, setting his beer down. "Hey, bud, what's up?"

Phillip leaned close to John, whispering so only John could hear. "Too loud."

John understood what that meant, standing and picking up Phillip. He told Alex that he'd be right back and then walked through the house to Washington's front stoop, sitting down with Phillip in his lap. Phillip leaned against John, looking out over the quiet street, and John gently stroked Phillip’s braids.

"Hey, buddy, you okay?" John murmured, bouncing his leg a bit.

"It was too loud," Phillip whimpered. "I didn't like it."

"That's okay," John nodded. "It was loud. How do you feel?"

"My heart is beating really fast, and my tummy hurts, and my head hurts," Phillip listed.

"Alright, let's take a few deep breaths together, alright?" John gently kissed Phillip's forehead. "Breath in for seven seconds, hold for eight, and breath out for five with me?"

Phillip nodded.

"Alright." John began counting as Phillip breathed. "In, one two three four five six seven. Hold, one two three four five six seven eight. Now, breath out, one two three four five." John repeated this a couple of times, making sure that Phillip was alright. "Do you feel better?"

Phillip nodded. "Can we stay out here longer?"

John kissed Phillip's head, hugging his son a bit closer. "Of course, Pip. Just keep taking deep breaths. How has your Fourth of July been?"

"It's been cool. Me and Theo are best friends," Phillip smiled.

John chuckled. "That's good."

"We're gonna get married," Phillip continued.

"That's..." John trailed off, taken aback. "That's good too, I guess."

Phillip took another deep breath, looking out in the street. "Papa, why do we live here?"

John shrugged. "I’m New York? I like it here a lot, and Alex is here. Do you?"

Phillip shook his head. "Too loud. I like California."

John smiled and kissed Phillip's shoulder. "Well, when you grow up, you can live in California, but until then you’ll just have to put up with New York, I suppose"

Phillip sighed and nodded. "I guess."

John chuckled and looked at the other houses lining the street, listening to the distant sound of fireworks. Someone down the street was laughing obnoxiously loud, which made John smile. "I love you, Phillip."

"I love you too, Papa," Phillip replied. 

  
  



	19. Taking the phrase 'shit show' to a whole other level. Like, level four

**** Alex walked through the door, running his hand over his new hair. It felt different. It wasn’t as heavy as the long hair he’d gotten so used to. The scent of the hair gel that his stylist had used still lingered around him. He had gotten his hair cut short; close on the sides, a little longer on the top. It looked professional, and he’d trusted the guy who cut his hair to pick a style, since the only time Alex had ever had short hair was in the army, and they just shaved it off. He liked this though. It didn't look bad; just new.

"Hey, Babe, Phillip's at a-!" John cut himself off with a bit of scream, seeing Alex. Alex yelled back, startled by his boyfriend's reaction. John was breathing heavy, his hand on his chest as he leaned against the kitchen counter. "Jesus, Alex, I didn't recognize you for a second, it freaked the shit out of me."

Alex’s face turned bright red. "Do you like it? I mean, it's just, hair, I can grow it out again, I just thought it might be nice to try something new."

John smiled, crossing his arms over his chest and beckoning his boyfriend closer. Alex complied, walking into the kitchen and coming to stand in front of John, feeling a bit self-conscious.

John brushed a few short strands away from Alex's forehead. "I think you look absolutely adorable." John messed with it a little more. "Yeah, I like it. I think the look suits you."

Alex smiled and leaned against John's chest, sighing. "I missed you today."

John chuckled in reply, kissing the top of Alex's head. "What I was going to say before I screamed, was that Phillip is at a playdate, and won't be home for a while, so we have the house to ourselves. I was wondering what you want to do with the alone time we have."

"Well actually I do have a lot of work I need to get done, so if you'll excuse me." Alex pecked John's lips and turned to walk upstairs.

"But..." John pouted, confused.

Alex turned around, smiling. "I'm totally kidding."

John grinned, pulling Alex into his chest, and began kissing the man, lifting him up and placing him on the counter. Alex wrapped his legs around John's waist, smiling as John began to suck on his tongue. John tugged on Alex's hair, evoking a cry from the shorter man. The kiss began to get more heated, John fumbling with Alex's tie, while Alex slipped his hands under John's shirt, feeling the outline of abs and the firmness of John's pecks.

"Fuck, John, I want you to fuck me, fuck," Alex moaned as John left wet kisses trailing down his neck. Alex's head bumped the cupboard behind him as John bit down on his neck.

A knock at the door caused them both to jump, then groan, John sighed, putting his head down on Alex's shoulder. "Why does God hate us?"

"I don't know," Alex sighed, running his fingers through John's hair.

The knock came again and John cringed. "I'll get it. If it's a salesman, yell for me to come talk to a relative on the phone or something."

"Alright," Alex nodded, sighing as John walked out of the kitchen.

John tried to eliminate his boner as much as possible before opening the door, thinking of his father to sober himself. In front of him stood a woman. She looked sort of familiar, but John couldn't quite place where he’d seen her. She was shorter than John, very pretty, with long, dark hair and long legs.

"Can I help you?" John asked slowly, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm looking for Alexander Hamilton, does he live here?" The woman replied.

John nodded. "Yeah, he does. Hold up." John stuck his head back inside. "Lex, it's for you."

Alex held back a groan as he straightened his tie, tucking his shirt in a little bit and fixing his hair before making his way to the door. He tripped over a shoe as he walked, stumbling a bit and catching himself on a wall before he finally made it to the door where John stood, peering over at him curiously. John had grown accustomed to Alex being weird and unpredictable, that’s just the way Alex was, but John was definitely not expecting Alex to scream and jump behind him, gripping the young man's shirt and nervously looking over his shoulder before ducking back down.

The woman rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "That is really immature, Alexander."

"You're immature!" Alex shot back, not coming out from behind John.

"Can I get a little clarification?" John asked. "Who are you?"

"My name is Eliza Schuyler," the woman introduced.

John nodded. "Oh, okay. You're Eliza. Uh, hi, I'm John."

"Don't trust her, she's the devil incarnate," Alex whispered into John's ear. "She'll rip your heart out and eat it."

Eliza rolled her eyes. "Very funny, coming from the man who cheated on me more times than I can count, and left me alone to raise our child while you tried to get yourself killed in Afghanistan."

"Fuck you, Eliza, you cheated on me too," Alex spat.

"Alright, before this escalates, I'm gonna cut in real quick." John sighed. "Eliza, may I ask why you're here?"

"I wanted to talk to Alex about a few things involving our divorce," Eliza stated.

"Only if John can be there!" Alex called out from behind John's shoulder. "I'm not gonna be alone in a room with you! You lost that right!"

Eliza ground her teeth. "Fine."

John welcomed Eliza into the house, Alex to muttering something about vampires, and the three of them went to the kitchen. Eliza sat down on a stool, crossing her ankles like a British girl, while Alex stood a couple of feet away and John cracked open a beer, leaning against the counter.

"Would you like some wine, or water or something?" John asked.

"Wine would be great," Eliza replied.

John poured her a glass, handing it over to her and then leaning back against, uncomfortable in the awkward silence. Alex was glaring, his arms crossed, while Eliza took a sip of her wine.

"Alexander, is it absolutely necessary for him to be here?" Eliza asked.

"Yes," Alex answered. "What do you want?"

"Be nice, Alex," John chided.

Alex rolled his eyes. "No. What do you want, Eliza?"

"Alex, you're angry about our past relationship, I understand that," Eliza started. "But I think that time apart was exactly what we both needed. We're both in a better headspace, and-"

"Hold the  _ fucking _ phone," Alex interjected. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I always had the idea that our divorce was temporary, Alex," Eliza explained.

Alex paused, nodding his head a bit, then burst out laughing. John sipped his beer, eyebrows raised. Eliza looked pissed and almost sad as Alex laughed. It was a situation where each person involved was feeling a very different set of emotions than the others.

"Absolutely not!" Alex finally exclaimed, shaking his head. "Eliza, dear, our divorce was as permanent as the loss of half my leg. I signed those papers with a smile on my face, and it was the first time I’d smiled in years. I am very happy with my boyfriend and my house, which I really should thank you for. Since it was your money I bought this with."

"You have a boyfriend?" Eliza gasped.

"Yes, I do!" Alex laughed.

"Hi," John nodded, raising his hand and waving a bit, sipping his beer.

"I have a boyfriend, a kid, a steady job, I've been sober for six years, and guess what? I could do that because I wasn't with you!" Alex rolled his eyes. "I mean, Eliza, after everything we've been through, every fight, every hardship, every time I cheated on you, every time I cheated on you with your _ sister _ , you still actually thought that not only could we work out, but that I would want to subject myself to  _ you _ again? You threw a fucking pot at my  _ head _ !"

"You know what, Alexander? I don't know why I came here. It's obvious you never cared about me in the first place, so-"

"You know what Eliza? I'm gonna be honest here; I didn’t care about you in the way you wanted me to. Ever. I loved you because you were the mother of my daughter, and I cared about you because we were married and because we lived together, and we had good spots, but at the end of the day, all we ever did was fight and have sex, and guess what? I don't want to live like that again!" Alex yelled. "Whenever something is going good, you always come in and fuck it up, you fucking psycho!"

Eliza stood up and slapped Alex. "Fuck off, Alexander! Why don't you tell your little whore how many relationships you've been in where you stayed loyal, huh? Maybe I wasn’t a perfect wife, but you  _ more _ than deserved what you got!"

"Hey! Don’t hit him!" John exclaimed.

"I know you think you're special,  _ John _ , or whatever your name is, and you think Alex would never do that to you, but he does it to  _ everyone _ . He can't keep his hands to himself," Eliza seethed.

"Alright, well, I believe that people can change. And I've cheated on my fair share of partners too, so I can’t really talk," John pointed out.

"She doesn't listen to reason, John, she's psychotic," Alex stated.

"Oh, yeah? How about you, Alex? You’re a fucking drunk! I was there for you when you couldn't get out of bed in the fucking morning! You couldn't even function! You were a fucking mess! I really think it's funny you're calling  _ me _ crazy when  _ you _ would wake up screaming bloody murder and try to strangle me!" Eliza ranted.

"Fuck you!" Alex gasped.

"Alright, both of you shut up!" John yelled over them. "Sit the fuck down and stop acting like toddlers!" Both of them shut up, so John continued. "It feels like this is probably why y'all's marriage failed. Let’s talk in civilized voices and  _ not _ use the words ‘fucking’ or ‘bitch’ in every sentence."

"Oh, shut it, whore, you're not our marriage counselor," Eliza snapped.

"Call him whore  _ one more time  _ you fucking bitch!" Alex yelled.

"Oh, fuck you! You know it's true! You can’t keep your hands off of any slut who comes your way!" Eliza replied.

"Okay, I'm just gonna let you guys fight then," John muttered, sitting back and leaning against the counter.

"Whatever! You were only with me because the sex was good and you know it!" Alex shot back.

"And why did you stay with me, huh, if you hated it so much?" Eliza asked, crossing her arms. "For someone suffering so damn much, nine years is a long time to be married!"

"You want to know why?" Alex screamed. "I needed a green card, then I needed money, and then you got pregnant, so I couldn’t really leave, could I?"

"You know what, I should've never trusted you!" Eliza shrieked.

"No shit!" Alex yelled back.

There was a pause. Eliza glared at Alex, practically shaking with anger, then she grabbed her wine glass and threw the liquid onto Alex, who, having seen it coming, just sighed and closed his eyes. He wiped his mouth off a bit. 

John put his beer down, a growing concern for Alex in his chest. Alex didn't seem surprised at all, which made John feel even more uncertain. It seemed like this was something that happened often.

"You're still pulling this shit?" Alex muttered. "Listen, I don't know how many cups of wine you've thrown on me, but I promise, it's never made a fucking difference. I probably cheated on you  _ more _ after you started with this shit."

Eliza growled, then chucked the cup at him. Alex dodged the projectile and it hit the wall behind him, shattering, bringing a swear from John, before Eliza threw a punch. Alex had gotten used to being punched, so that didn’t phase him. What got Alex was slipping on the puddle of wine on the floor and falling onto some glass. Eliza didn't seem to notice, or at least care, grabbing him by the shirt collar and punching him in the mouth.

John jumped up, grabbing Eliza by the waist and pulling her off of Alex as quickly as he could. She was strong for a tiny, five-five woman, but John managed to pull her towards the door, opening it, and shoving her out.

"John! John, wait!" Eliza gasped.

"Um, no!" John protested, trying to close the door.

"No, John, you need to get out of this while you can. Alex is going to leave you," Eliza hissed. "For your own good, leave."

"Eliza, we're not the same people, Alex and I are happy together," John shook his head.

"Oh yeah? So were Jay and him! But Alex leaves everyone for Angelica, that's what he  _ does _ . He cheated on me, his last girlfriend, Jay, and everyone else with her. She's his kryptonite. You'll never make it past her, I know you won't. No one ever has. Alex refuses to accept the fact that he  _ belongs _ to her. Leave, before he breaks your heart too."

John cut off Eliza's speech by closing the door. John looked down at the doorknob for a second, thinking about what she said. "He wouldn't do that."

John turned and walked straight back into the kitchen where Alex was. The man was leaning against the counter, staring at the floor with a dull expression that John had never seen in him. Blood was soaking through the back of his shirt. John was careful to step around the broken glass, approaching Alex, who looked up, the look still haunting his eyes.

"I wasn't lying when I said she was crazy," Alex croaked.

"Did she do stuff like this before?" John asked.

"She, well, she had a bit of an anger issue," Alex nodded, eyes still trained on the floor. "We fought a lot, I cheated a lot, of course, she got mad. I mean, I'm a different person around her. I just, I need ice."

John frowned. "I'm gonna sweep up the mess, and then let's go patch up your back. Get some ice, apply pressure, and-"

"I know," Alex mumbled. "This isn't my first rodeo."

John gently kissed Alex's temple, then got a paper towel to mop of the wine and glass. It was a quick cleanup since John was good at picking up broken dishware and cleaning up spills, thanks to Phillip. When he finished, he took  Alex up to the bathroom, helping him take off his dress shirt and the white T below it.

"Does it hurt?" John asked as he opened the first aid kit and dabbed blood away with a tissue. "It doesn't look like there's any glass in there, you just got cut up."

"It doesn't hurt," Alex assured John. "This is not the worst thing Eliza has ever done to me, I promise. This would be considered a good night.

John paused. "What do you mean by that?"

Alex swallowed the lump in his throat. "She once beat the fuck out of me with a pan; a couple of punches and a few cuts is not an issue."

"This might sting," John warned as he began dabbing the wounds with alcohol wipes. "I think it is an issue, though. I mean, no one should hit you. Did anyone else know?"

"Are you kidding me? Everyone knew. It's not like Eliza tried to hide it," Alex laughed bitterly. "No one cared though. I think the most pity I got was Aaron offering me a clap on the shoulder and a sad look after stitching up my arm. It's fine, it's over. It's not like it matters anymore."

"Well, I mean, don't you think you should press charges? Something?" John sighed, drying off the area of wounds. "This isn't legal."

"No," Alex mumbled. "There's no point. If I press charges, I'm going to be dealing with this for years to come. Eliza is rich, richer than me, and she'll fight this with everything she's got. It's really just, it's not worth it."

"Well, when did the abuse first start?" John asked.

"It's wasn't abuse," Alex cut in. "She just had some anger issues. I was fine, and I could've fought back if I wanted. I wasn't always this scrawny. I could've kicked her ass. I just, I don't hit women. It makes me feel gross. I didn't even like fighting women during training in the army. I tried to avoid it as much as I could."

"Well the fact that you could've fought back doesn't mean that she was allowed to hit you," John explained. "That doesn't make it any more justified."

Alex stared at the tiles on the bathroom floor. "It doesn't matter. Why should it? It's over, it's done. It doesn't affect me anymore." Alex bit his lip at the fib. "Well, I mean, it sort of does, but not really. It's fine."

John finished taping the gauze over the wounds, then rested his chin on Alex's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," Alex answered simply.

"But I-"

Alex cut John off, turning around so he could see John's face. "I don't care. It wasn't your fault. This isn't the first time she's ever done this to me, and with my luck, it's not the last time either. I don't blame you, I don't think this was in any way your fault. She probably would've done a lot more damage if you hadn't been there."

John sighed and kissed the bruise on Alex's forehead. "You may have a problem with hitting women, but as a feminist, I will open fist punch her the next time she lays a hand on you. That's not okay. And, to be honest, it makes me worried that you might not say something if I hit you. I mean, I would never do that, but still."

Alex was about to say something, but his phone started ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket, accepting the FaceTime call from Thomas.

"Hey, Alex, Eliza is back in..." Thomas trailed off, looking at Alex's solemn, bruised face. "Okay, you know."

Alex rolled his eyes, nodding. "She stopped by."

"Is John there?" Thomas asked.

"Yes, he's sitting right in front of me," Alex mumbled. "Look, is this the only reason you called me? Because, thanks and all, but you're about a day late."

"Alex, are you okay?" Thomas asked slowly.

Alex nodded, offering a thumbs up. "Peachy."

"You don't look okay," Thomas pointed out.

"I miss the days when everyone would just laugh about this. I'm fine, thanks for calling. We do have that meeting at ten tomorrow, right? Because like, I don't know if I need to come into work tomorrow," Alex mumbled.

"Yeah, the meeting is at ten," Thomas replied slowly. "Alex, do you wanna talk-"

"Nope, bye," Alex dismissed, ending the call. The older man set his phone down and sighed, placing his face in his hands, ignoring the slight pain from the bruises on his face. "Well, this is shit. You could be balls deep in me right now."

John sighed, trying not to laugh at the crude complaint, kissing Alex's temple. "Hey, let's get our pajamas on, and I'll order a pizza. We can talk for a little bit, yeah?"

"I really need to do some work," Alex mumbled, standing up and stretching his back a little bit. "Can't believe the fucking bitch. Coming here, talking about how she thought our divorce was temporary. I just,  _ Jesus _ . Crazy fucking bitch."

"Hey, maybe you should take it easy for the night," John suggested. "I mean, don't you think that maybe it might be better to just, process this or something?"

Alex shook his head. "I don't need to ‘process this, or whatever’. I just need to get some work done."

John tilted his head to the side, then stood up and hugged Alex tightly. "Overruled."

"Did you just overrule my plans?" Alex asked looking at John incredulously.

"I did," John confirmed. "Because even if you just want to distract yourself into oblivion, we can do that while watching a movie and eating pizza. You don't wanna talk about it? I'm not gonna force it out of you, I know how much that kind of interrogation sucks. I'm not gonna let you be alone right now though. So, whether you like it or not, I'm gonna hold you for the rest of the night, and you're gonna have to deal with that." John finished, still hugging Alex close to him, gently running his fingers through the shorter man's shorter hair.

Alex groaned, attempting to push away, though it was weak, and both of them knew he was wasn't really trying. "I do have work to get done."

"I know," John mumbled. "But how about you blow it off for a bit, huh?"

Alex sighed, fighting the urge to comment on how he wanted to blow John off, wrapping his arms around John's neck. "Can we just lie down upstairs for a bit? I'm tired."

"Alright," John agreed. "I'm gonna pick you up, alright?"

Alex nodded and jumped up a little bit as John lifted him, wrapping his legs around the younger man's waist. John was careful, gently cupping Alex's butt in his hands as he walked upstairs to their bedroom. John was very attentive, setting Alex down, then helping the man out of his dress slacks. John laid down next to him, wrapping his arms around Alex's waist and pulling the older man close to him.

"Does your back or... face hurt?" John asked.

Alex shook his head. "I meant it when I said this was nothing. The bitch threw knives at me and I had to call up Aaron in the middle of the night to give me stitches. I'm fine. It's kinda weird though, I've never had someone be there for me after something like this."

"What do you mean?" John asked.

Alex shrugged again, leaving a bit of a wet kiss on John's neck. "No one ever really cared. They thought it was funny that I was letting myself get beat up by a girl. I mean, I guess some of them are following up now, like Thomas. Sometimes he won't leave me alone about it, which is rich, considering he watched Eliza box me on the side of the face and laughed." Alex shrugged and shook his head. "I dunno. It was just kinda a joke to everyone else. I didn't like it, but I laughed along, because, I mean, what else could I have done?"

"Knocked her on her ass," John pointed out. "I mean, you would've had a good excuse."

"None of that would've mattered though," Alex replied. "She would've taken me to court and John? Back then, I didn't have a dollar to my name, and she had more money than I could even fathom. If I had even  _ touched _ her, I would've been in jail so fast that an officer wouldn't have had time to read me my rights. I mean, she was a powerful girl from a powerful family, and I was a nobody. Even if I tried now, what good would it do? I just, I'm in court enough as it is, and I've got so much shit on my plate, bringing this up now wouldn't do me any good."

"Well, you know, with this whole Me Too movement, you might have an easier time than you think," John pointed out.

Alex rolled his eyes. "I'm not a sexual assault victim. Eliza may have been crazy, but she didn't force herself onto me. She didn't really need to if we're being honest, God I was a horny twenty-year-old." Alex sighed and curled John's hair in his fingers. "I think Lafayette is going to propose to Herc. I don't know when, but probably won’t soon."

"What makes you say that?" John asked.

"Well, you know how they're all in France right now?" Alex reminded him.

John hummed.

"I was talking to Laf a bit before the Fourth Of July thing, and I was asking him about that, because I had heard a few things from Peggy, and he said he had an engagement ring designed, he was getting his parents wedding bands from the house when they went up to Paris, and he just, he was going to propose. He told me that about three months into the relationship, he told Herc that he wanted to marry him, and then Laf told me that when the time was right, he was going to do it."

"Wow," John mumbled. "Is it just me, or has this past year gone by really fast?"

Alex chuckled. "You're gonna be twenty-seven soon. Are you excited?"

"No, because that means Phillip is seven, and my little boy is growing up," John whined. "God, he starts first grade in a week. I don't want him to grow up. I want him to rely on me forever."

"He'll always be your son," Alex assured John.

John sighed and kissed Alex's forehead. "I really need to cook or order something. Phillip's gonna be home in, what? Five, ten minutes? Alright, I gotta be a responsible parent and get some pants on. Alex, dear, you can just lie down, but I do need to make food for my kid. If you're too tired to-"

Alex sat up, sighing. "No, no, I'm okay. I gotta get some clothes on anyway, and believe it or not, I  _ do _ actually have work to do. I'll watch the door for Peggy, and you can cook or do whatever you wanna do."

John groaned, popping his back. "I should probably cook. Hey." John leaned down and gently pecked Alex's lips. "Are you okay?"

Alex nodded, sighing a bit as he got up, finding a pair of sweatpants. "Yeah, yeah. I'll be fine. Just, a bit shaky right now, but you know, it's cool. Everything's cool. Long as I’ve got you, babe. What's for dinner?"

"Spaghetti. It's easy, and I'm too tired to make anything else," John answered. "Take it easy, alright? If Phillip asks you about the monster you defended us from, just roll with it, yeah? I don’t really want to explain something like this to a six-year-old."

Alex nodded, slipping on a tee shirt. "Yeah, got it. Hey, come here."

John came closer and was easily dragged into a kiss by Alex. John wrapped his arms around Alex's waist, leaning into the kiss. It was beginning to get heated, tongues sinking deep into each other’s mouths, the two of them pressing their bodies against each other as Alex's hands got more generous with their roaming until finally, John pulled away with a gentle pop of the lips.

"I’ve gotta make dinner, Alex," John whispered.

"I adore you, John Laurens," Alex murmured, falling back onto his pillow.

"And I, you," John replied.

-

A couple of days later, something Eliza had said was still on John's mind. John had been under the impression that the two of them had a falling out? Maybe the information was outdated, but John couldn't help but wonder who this woman was. He’d seen pictures of her, he’d heard stories. Alex spoke highly of her, but so did everyone else. So maybe everyone else had slept with her? He needed to know.

"Hey, Peggy," John said, pressing his phone to his ear.

"Hi, John," Peggy replied. "What's up?"

"Hey, uh, I know Eliza is back in town, and I was wondering if you knew a way I could get in contact with her? I need to talk to her about something," John explained.

Peggy paused. "Are you going to try and kill my sister?"

"Not this time," John chuckled grimly. "She paid us a visit last night, but I'm not looking for her so I can give her a taste of her own medicine, I want to ask her about something she said."

"What'd she say?" Peggy asked.

"She said something about Alex and Angelica's relationship, and I want to know what she meant by it," John explained.

Peggy sighed, the sound of something clicking going off in her background. "I really don't think you should do much digging into that. For the sake of keeping the peace. You're not going to like what you find. No matter who it comes from, no matter who you are, you're not going to like it."

"I don't care all that much," John stated.

"I'll text you her number, but if I learn that you hurt her, I swear to Allah, I will find you. You promise you're not going to do anything? She may be crazy, but she's still my sister," Peggy pressed.

"Yeah, I promise," John replied.

"Alright, I'll text you her number," Peggy replied before hanging up. A few seconds later, John got a text with a number. He clicked on it, creating a new contact and then opening a message log. John took a second, thinking of what to say, before finally forming a message.

John: Hey, it's me, John, Alex's boyfriend. I wanted to ask you about something. Can you meet me at the coffee house on fifteenth street in ten minutes?

It took a few seconds of waiting, but John did get a reply from her.

Eliza: You live in New York. There are ten coffee houses on every street. You're going to have to be more specific.

John: The Starbucks right on the corner of fifteenth and Union.

Eliza: Grande chocolate mocha with extra whip. You’re paying. I'll be there in fifteen. See you soon.

"Bitch," John muttered under his breath, beginning the walk to Starbucks. Alex did not know that this was happening, and John was hoping this whole thing could be kept under wraps. It wasn't lying, per se, it was a mere withholding of the truth. As long as Alex didn't ask, John didn't have to tell. That was how it worked, right?

John got there and ordered, sitting down at a table by the door until his name was called. He sipped his iced passion fruit green tea, waiting until he saw Eliza walk in. She looked more relaxed, hair up, high waisted blue shorts and a tank top. John waved a bit and she sat down, taking a sip of her drink. How she was drinking a hot drink in early August was beyond John.

"Afternoon," Eliza greeted. "You just come from your Jazzercise class?"

"I'm a dance teacher," John remarked. "Thanks for coming."

"Mm-hm, why did you ask me here?" Eliza asked, taking another drink.

"I wanted to ask you about Alex's relationship with your sister, Angelica," John started.

Eliza's eyebrow twitched. "How much do you know?"

"Uh, they fucked around together, he cheated on you with her, they had a falling out, but that's really it, from what I've heard," John explained, sipping his drink.

Eliza chuckled, leaning back. "Oh, John, you have such a sweet face."

"That's not creepy," John mumbled.

Eliza rolled her eyes. "If only your mouth didn't open as often." She sipped her drink again. "You’re familiar with the expression “Achilles' heel”, right?”

John nodded.

"Good, because that's the one I'm going to use," Eliza smiled. "Angelica is Alex's Achilles heel. It doesn't matter who he's with, how much he loves them, how long they've been together, he'll always go to her the moment she says the word 'sex.' I know I'm a bad example, but let's look at Jay. By now, I'm assuming you know how much Alex loved Jay. I mean, the mother fucker still wears his ring. Alex cheated on Jay with Angelica."

"He told me he and Jay were fighting," John mumbled.

"I'm telling you, John. Angelica is the only person in the world Alex can't resist. I mean, in my experience he’ll fuck anything that moves, but that’s by choice. He can't say no to her." Eliza chuckled. "I had my heart broken by the man enough times to know that it hurts to lose Alexander Hamilton. The all-powerful Alexander Hamilton."

"Maybe he's changed," John put in.

Eliza laughed and shook her head. "The last girlfriend Alex had, he cheated on with Angie too. Look, save yourself some time, get some cash, and go."

"But why would I listen to you? You clearly don’t like me, and want me to break up with Alex" John pointed out.

Eliza snorted. "I don't know and I really don't care. I mean, you can ask Thomas if you want. He's going to say the same thing I did." Eliza stood up. "Thanks for the coffee, John. I have to run. I’ve got lunch with an old friend. And, it isn’t that you’re unpleasant, but I truly hope that I never have to interact with you again."

John rolled his eyes, pulling out his phone as Eliza left. He typed in the name 'Angelica Schuyler' into the Google search bar, then pressed search. The first couple of results he got were court cases, a few articles, and then a Tabloid sight. John clicked on that, hoping to find some real dirt on this woman. Who the hell was Angelica Schuyler?

_ New York's loudest, Alexander Hamilton, spotted roaming the city streets with a woman we have now identified as New York state lawyer, Angelica Schuyler. Reporters managed to snap photos of Hamilton and Schuyler around town. The couple shared cigarettes over dinner before they were seen entering a sex shop, then walking down a block to a cheap motel. Both Hamilton and Schuyler have declined to comment. Senator Washington has previously stated that he finds himself judging employees based on how well they do their jobs rather than on personal affairs. Hamilton reportedly came into work the next Monday with rope burns on his wrists and hickeys littering his neck. Professionalism seems to be the last thing on his mind when it comes to Miss Schuyler. _

John turned off his phone, setting his down on the table, thinking. It made him feel sick. Not that Alex had been with someone before him, no, that part didn’t bug him. But something wasn't adding up now. The article had been published about six months before John met Alex, but Alex said they had a falling out. Maybe that falling out had taken place around the time the article was published. John was confused. Alex wouldn't lie to him about this, right? I mean, he would only lie if he had something to hide. There shouldn't be anything to hide.

John got up and left the coffee shop, making his way to Alex's workplace. He knew Alex was at home today, but he also knew that Thomas was in, so John found himself walking in, telling the receptionist he was here for Thomas. John found his way into Thomas' office, smiling at the older man as he seated himself on a chair near Thomas' desk.

"Afternoon John, what can I do you for?" Thomas greeted.

"I want to ask you about Angelica Schuyler," John stated.

Thomas' eyebrows shot up. "Oh. What about her?"

"Well, firstly, I want to ask you about the falling out she and Alex had," John started off, crossing his legs and leaning back.

"Back when Alex was like, twenty-five, twenty-six? No, they're fine now," Thomas stated.

John nodded slowly. "Alright then. Would you agree if someone said she was Alex's Achilles' heel?"

Thomas nodded, laughing as he looked down at the papers in front of him. "Oh, yeah. Alex would drop anything to get some pussy from her. I swear, it's like she's his own personal siren or something. I have never seen Alex commit to something enough that he wouldn't leave it for Angelica." Thomas coughed when he saw John's face. "Of course, you're different."

"Different from Jay?" John asked.

Thomas bit his lip. "You think you might want to ask Alex about this?"

"Well, right now, I don't feel like I have a lot of reason to trust Alex on his information about this whole thing. I'm not mad that he was with her, because I've been with people before him, but I feel a little lied to right now. A little worried, too, if I'm being honest. What do you think would happen if Angelica came back now? Do you think Alex would just, like, forget about me?"

"Oh, I think he'd definitely ask for a threesome," Thomas stated honestly. "I mean, Angie has always been down for that. She's not a monogamous person, which is why she and Alex have never gotten serious. Uh, I really think you should ask him this yourself because I'm not going to give you a good answer, I don't think."

John nodded. "Alright. Thank you. Uh, I'll see you around, Thomas."

"Oh, uh, before you go," Thomas mumbled. "Uh, you think James would say yes if I asked him to move in with me?"

"Aw, look at all my friends, shacking up. I think you should ask him yourself," John smiled. "I don't think you'll regret it, though. Bye, Thomas."

"Bye, John," Thomas replied, looking back down at his papers.

John walked out of the office, calling an Uber to take him to Phillip's daycare, then home. John smiled as he listened to the details of Phillip's day, rebraiding the bottom half of his left braid since it had gotten a bit messy throughout the day. Phillip and John discussed first grade, which was going to start the following Monday, and John told Phillip that they could go back to school shopping on Sunday, which made the younger child smile.

"Alright, Papa is gonna go talk to Alex really quick, and then I'll make dinner, okay?" John smiled, kissing the top of Phillip's head.

Phillip smiled up at John, showing off the smile that was missing a front tooth. "Okay, Papa. Can I watch cartoons?"

John nodded. "Of course, buddy." John walked up the stairs into Alex's office, popping his back as he did so. He stepped in, smiling a bit at Alex's figure. "Hey, babe, can I ask you about something?"

Alex jumped, turning around, smiling. "Well, hi, first of all."

John chuckled, walking over and leaning against Alex's desk. "Hello."

Alex rested his chin on his hand, looking up at John. "What is it you wanted to ask?"

John bit his lip, thinking. "I kinda had a few questions about Eliza's sister, Angelica Schuyler. Just, I've heard a couple of things in the past twenty-four hours and I wanted to confirm a few of them with you."

Alex raised his eyebrows, nodding.

"So, you two had a falling out, and was it ever resolved?" John asked.

Alex shrugged a bit.

"That’s not an answer. I was under the impression that you two hadn’t reconciled, but today I found out that it happened when you were twenty-five. And six months before we met, you and her were hooking up." John stated. "I'm not mad or upset that you were with someone before me. I don't really care, honestly. But I do feel a little misled."

"I didn't lie to you," Alex protested.

"I didn't say that. I said that I feel a little misled," John pointed out.

"How could you say that you feel misled without insinuating that I lied to you?" Alex asked, becoming defensive.

"Well, Alex, when you told me you two had a falling out, you made it seem as though it was a recent dispute, and it hadn't been resolved." John glanced down at the floor. "Do you see my point here? I'm not trying to start a fight, I'm trying to get some clarification."

"Well, what exactly is it that you have a problem with?" Alex asked.

John shrugged. "I mean, Alex, from what I've heard, it sounds like you would drop any relationship to go fuck her. I'm not trying to accuse you, it's just the impression I've gotten, and you haven’t really made any attempt at like, clearing that up, so here’s your opportunity."

"So what? I just like her, she's a good fuck, why does this matter?" Alex scoffed.

"Because you've cheated on apparently  _ everyone _ you've been in a serious relationship with, with Angelica, and as someone you’re in a serious relationship with, I feel a little unsure right now. I don't know what you'd do if Angelica showed up right now, and I wanted to talk to you about that." John shrugged again. "Do you have anything to say about that?"

"This is ridiculous," Alex muttered.

John's eyebrows shot up, his arms crossed over his chest. "Well, actually, it's just how I feel. I don't think it's that ridiculous because these are genuine thoughts that are going through my head."

"Do you seriously think I would cheat on you?" Alex’s lip curled.

"I don't know! That's why I'm asking!  _ I _ don’t think that you would, but that’s kind of the impression that people have been giving me! A  _ lot _ of people!" John pointed out.

"What, you have no trust in me at all?" Alex accused.

"Okay, listen, I never said that, stop putting words into my mouth." John stood up straight. "I'm asking if you would fuck her if she showed up right now."

"John, this is stupid, why do you care so much?" Alex asked.

"Because I've been dating with you for nine months, Alex, and I think my feelings are pretty justified right now." John sighed, his eyes widening. "I mean, seriously, Alex, you haven’t even said  _ no _ . No ‘I would never cheat on you, babe, you’re more important to me than some chick I see every once in a while’. I'm just feeling a little sketched out right now."

"Whatever," Alex scoffed. "You don't have to overreact about this."

John nodded, his eyes narrowing as he ran his tongue over his teeth. "Alright."

John walked out of Alex's office, closing the door behind him before opening a group chat between Martha and Maria, asking if they wanted to bar hop tonight. He was met with intense encouragement and joy from the invitation, so he texted the parent group chat, asking anyone if they could watch Phillip for the night. He got back confirmation from James, so he got changed into a pair of joggers and a tight white tee shirt. He packed Phillip a bag, then went down and informed the kid what the plan was. He was greeted with joy, and Phillip not minding at all the fact that he would now be spending the night at Jame’s apartment, so without another word, John and Phillip left, John making sure he had his wallet and keys before exiting.

"Thank you for taking him on such short notice," John smiled as Phillip ran into the house. "You're a lifesaver."

James smiled, taking Phillip's bag. "Hell yeah, John, we got him. Hot date?"

"Ha," John snorted. "Alex and I had a bit of a row, so I'm going drinking with Martha and Maria to let Alex cool down, you know?"

James nodded. "You need to talk about it?"

"No, I need a drink," John laughed. "I'll pick Phillip up tomorrow, yeah?"

James nodded, chuckling. "You're only young once."

"Damn right!" John cheered as he walked back to his Uber.

It was a bit of a drive to the bar he and the girls had agreed to meet at, but worth it when he walked in to see the two of them sucking face. It looked very intense, and since neither of them was into having actual relationships, John assumed the night would end with the two of them having some hot lesbian sex and then passing out.

"Ladies, ladies, doing all the fella's jobs, aren't we?" John teased.

"Aye!" Maria cheered. "Catch up, we're already on our second beer and third shot."

"Bartender, I need two beers and three shots!" John called out, laughing. "I'm in the mood to get wasted."

"Trouble in paradise?" Martha teased.

John nodded, picking up his first beer and chugging it. "Fuck, that was good. It's like, five o'clock, right?"

Martha nodded. "Five thirty."

"Alright, are y’all ready to get  _ really _ drunk?" John chuckled.

Maria and Martha nodded.

"Perfect."

A few hours passed, and the group was now at their fourth bar. John was drunk, but so were Martha and Maria. They were laughing, dancing in a modern looking club. John was currently dancing with some girl. He was drunk, but he knew well enough to keep things PG. He still had a boyfriend, even when he was drunk. John's hair was down, cascading over his shoulders. He felt good. Drunk, but good.

"I need another drink," John laughed drunkenly.

"I'll join you," the girl replied.

"Hey, uh, I'm John, by the way," John slurred as they sat down at the bar.

"I'm Sarah," the girl giggled.

"Sarah, that's a nice name," John smiled. "Two shots of vodka, barkeep."

"What do you usually drink?" Sarah asked, smiling as her shot was set down.

"Sam Adams," John laughed. "Together?"

Sarah nodded and they both downed the shot at the same time. John coughed a bit, smiling as he pushed his hair back. The club was hot and sweaty, loud. Some intense rap song about titties and coke was playing. John felt hot, and almost wanted to step out to get a breath of fresh air, but didn't.

"Hey," the girl smiled, leaning forward and placing her hand on John's thigh. "You wanna get out of here?"

"Nah, I'm good," John chuckled. "I got someone at home for me."

"Why aren't you with them?" She asked.

John sighed. "Long story. Wanna dance again?"

Sarah smiled. "Yeah, sure."

John pulled her out onto the dance floor again, smiling and not protesting when some other dude came up to her and she began dancing with him. One thing John never minded was dancing alone. He had done it most of his life, and he didn't need another person to have a good time. He just needed himself.

"Ayye!" Maria cheered, throwing her arm around him with her phone up. "John, tell my Snapchat how drunk you are!"

"I'm so drunk," John laughed. "Oh my God, are you ready for the next bar? This one is getting really intense."

"Yeah, Martha is um, somewhere, so there we go, let's yeet out of here!" Maria laughed, dragging John through the people. They found Martha and pulled her out of the bar, walking down the street, laughing intensely.

"Oh, my God, did you turn down that hot girl you were dancing with?" Martha snorted.

"I did," John laughed.

"Lame! That's like, the third girl you've turned down tonight!" Maria cackled.

"I have a boyfriend!" John defended, his words slurring together. "Wow, I also have a great ass. Like, guys just grab it. It's so great. I love it."

Maria brought her hand back and smacked John's ass as hard as she could. "Damn! That's firm! Baby, do you do squats?"

"I do," John chuckled. "Zootopia has porn. Did y'all know that?"

"Ew!" Martha laughed. "Why do  _ you  _ know that?"

"’Cause I was hanging out with Herc one night, and we were watching children's movie porn. Well, like, not watching it, we just wanted to see how far it went, and Zootopia was a scarily popular topic. People really wanna fuck a rabbit." John shuddered.

"Oh my God!" Maria laughed, leaning against John. "You're such a fucking crack whore!"

John snorted as they walked into the next bar. "I'm literally about to throw up. Wait, no, I'm just kinda hard."

"Nastyass!" Martha laughed.

"You worshipped this dick for like, four months, so don't like, don’t fuck with me, girl!" John scoffed.

"You right, you right," Martha laughed as she sat down at the bar. "Oh, God, what time is it? Do I have work tomorrow?"

"You better not!" Maria giggled. "Or I'll have to just jerk off at home! Or call Jacob."

"I'm wet as fuck right now, we can go finger each other in the powder room," Martha suggested.

"Perfect. John, we're gonna-"

"I'll be fine. Make it quick though!" John called out.

"We'll try!" Maria laughed as she and Martha made their way into the bathroom. John ordered a couple of shots and downed them before making his way to the dance floor. John felt good, dancing to the song. The bass shook the building, and people were into it, jumping at the build to the breakdown. John was laughing. He was drunk of his mind, granted, but he was feeling good.

"John! Oh my God! Guess what I have in my purse!" Martha laughed as she joined him.

"What?" John asked, taking her hand as they danced.

"My panties!" Martha squealed. "Maria made me squirt! Oh my God, it was like my water broke again!"

John tilted his head back, laughing. "You fucking ruined that mattress!"

"I know! And I swore I was gonna pay you back for it too!" Martha sniggered, leaning against John.

"You did give me like, a child, so I think that covers it!" John replied, smiling as he spun her a bit. "Oh, my God, I'm just on so much crack right now."

"You liar!" Martha snorted. "You couldn't do crack if you tried!"

"Already done, baby," John slurred, hugging her.

The more bars they went to, the drunker they got. Finally, around midnight, John decided that seven hours of clubbing and drinking liquor was enough, so he and the girls began walking back to his house. They were stumbling, and John was about two minutes away from vomiting, but he still smiled and laughed at Martha's stupid jokes. His body felt almost numb, but he was okay. He knew his hangover was going to be killer, but it would be worth it.

"Okay, I'm gonna listen into the door to make sure no one is downstairs," John whispered, leaning against the door. Martha and Maria leaned against him too, trying to listen. It was going okay, and John was about to lean back, but the door opened in on them, the three of them falling into the house. Martha fell on top of John while Maria fell next to them, the three of them laughing their asses. Martha's makeup was running from how hard she was laughing.

"Oh, my God! Alex!" Maria cheered. "Our savior!"

"You're wasted!" Alex accused.

"John  _ really  _ likes you," Martha snorted. "He said no to like, fourteen  _ fire _ chicks. Is it because you ate his ass good?"

"John! You didn't tell me Alex ate your ass!" Maria laughed, trying to get up.

John snorted, pushing Martha off of him as he stumbled to his feet. "Why do you need to know?"

"Because we tell each other  _ everything _ ," Maria whined. "You told me you sucked his dick while I was fucking, uh, uh, who was it?"

"Jacob, I think," John cackled. "I ate chips and vented while you fucked him!"

"John, John," Martha gasped, standing up. "I love you."

"I love you too," John replied, laughing. "You guys need to go home."

"We need to have a four-way though!" Martha complained.

"Last time we had sex, you got pregnant," John pointed out.

"Nuh uh!" Martha protested. "Because, because, remember? We fucked while I was pregnant, so last time we fucked, I was already knocked up. Ha! Take that! I'm smarter than you!"

"Probably," John replied.

"Do I need to call you two an Uber?" Alex asked, sounding almost bored.

"No, no, we have one that's like, here," Maria snorted, kissing John's cheek. "Okay, we gotta go. Goodbye, John. I love you."

"I love you too, Mars," John smiled, kissing her cheek.

"Mm, bye bye, Johnny," Martha sighed. "I love you."

John leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I love you too, girl."

Maria and Martha walked out of the house and John chuckled, walking upstairs to sit in the bathroom until he vomited. He was definitely feeling the liquor, and beginning to regret it a bit. John was stumbling up the steps, chuckling as he made it to the second floor, then the third.

"Hey!" Alex called out.

"Don't tell me you actually want to argue with me right now," John groaned, really wanting to throw up.

"Hold on, no, we have a fight and you just leave? You don't answer my calls, my texts, nothing! The only reason I know you're okay is that I see you on Maria's Snapchat, drinking at some club in the middle of New York." Alex gasped. "I mean, I don't get what you're so upset about. What's the big deal?"

"It doesn't matter," John mumbled, shaking his head and then stopping when the room began to spin.

"Well obviously it matters enough to start an argument," Alex pointed out.

John groaned. "I wasn't trying to start an argument, you're the one who got all defensive! It doesn't matter anymore."

"Yes, it does. I want to know why you freaked out," Alex stated, grabbing John's wrist.

"Okay, you suck at sounding like you care," John snorted. "You know what? Maybe I just want to go into the bathroom and throw up, then pass out, because I have been drinking on an empty stomach since five."

"John, you made this a big deal, so follow through!" Alex exclaimed. "I want to know why you got all mad at me!"

"Because whatever!" John tried to pull his wrist from Alex's grip. "Jesus, Alex, please, leave it alone."

"I will not leave it alone!" Alex insisted.

"Fine!" John snapped, ripping his wrist from Alex's grip. "You wanna know why I'm so upset? I'm upset because I see a pretty girl who you obviously have a thing for, and then I hear people saying that she's your fucking  _ kryptonite _ and that you'd cheat on everyone with her, and then you get so defensive, and don’t even fucking say no, and it doesn't help, and I'm just scared that I'm not gonna be enough for you, and I'm scared I'm not good enough for you!"

Alex stepped back. "You... what?"

"I'm scared I'm not good enough for you, and you're gonna leave me, and I really really don't want that." John looked down, swallowing back vomit. "I really like you, Alex. And I don't want to be sloppy seconds. I don't want to be a placeholder!" John stopped when he felt his voice crack. "I know you've had a lot going on in the past couple of days, let’s just, let’s talk about this in the morning."

"John, why didn't you just tell me? Of course, you're-"

John cut Alex off. "Please, just, save it."

"No, John, I-"

"I am literally about to throw up, and when it happens, it's going to happen, whether I'm in the bathroom or not, so please, please, just let me go," John groaned.

Alex nodded and John walked into the bathroom, kneeling down in front of the toilet and waiting a few seconds before vomit came up. John felt like he was choking up all seven hours of liquor. He was grateful he had put his hair up. He felt like he was vomiting up his lungs, but he just pushed through it. It felt like shit, but John knew he was going to feel better once he was done.

John threw up for about five minutes straight. It was painful, uncomfortable, disgusting, but he finally was able to flush the toilet with the total confidence that he had absolutely nothing left in his stomach. Instead of getting up, John curled up on the bathroom floor, sighing a bit as he used his arm as a pillow.

"Alright, come on to bed," Alex sighed.

"Make me," John grumbled, closing his eyes.

Alex sighed, then left, before coming back with a pillow and a blanket. He placed the pillow under John's head, then covered John’s body with the blanket. John groaned as Alex filled up a cup of water for John in the morning, placing two aspirin next to it, and an unopened package of Alka Seltzer. When that was all over, Alex wiped the corners of John's mouth, then kissed his forehead.

"Goodnight, hon," Alex whispered.

"Night night," John replied. "Remember, when I wake up, I gotta talk to Alex, ‘kay?"

"Alright," Alex nodded.

"Gotta tell him I love him," John mumbled.

Alex froze, looking down at John. It took a second of recovery to finally be able to function again. Alex didn't really know how to take that. John was drunk, so he could very easily be mistaken. Instead of making a big deal out of it, Alex kissed John's forehead one more time before leaving the bathroom, turning out the light but leaving the hallway light on so he could see if he needed to.

Alex sat down on his bed, thinking, then picked up his phone, dialing Angie's number and pressing the phone to his ear, to his ear. It rang a couple of times before he got her voicemail. Alex sighed, listening to the automated machine, thinking about what to say. Eventually, the button beeped, and Alex began speaking.

"Hey, Angie. You're probably sleeping. It’s pretty late." Alex took a deep breath. "I'm just calling to say that, well, I'm in a relationship. A really good one. I really like the person I'm with right now. I, I think I love them. So, I just, I wanted to call you to say that, and say that I think we should keep our distance for a little bit. A lot of people have compared you to my Achilles heel, like, recently, and I think they're right. But I really like John, the guy I'm with. I really really like him, and I don’t want to lose him because I'm a stupid idiot. So, uh, yeah. Uh, I'll see you whenever I do, I guess." Alex paused. "I love you, Angie. You know that. But I love John too, and I don't want to hurt him. Anyway, that's it. Bye, Angie."

Alex hung up and sighed, lying back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had taken his Ambien while John was having his vomit fest, so Alex was tired. Carefully, Alex slipped off his leg, pulling the sheet over him before closing his eyes and drifting off.

Alex woke up the next morning at six, just like he always did. He put on his leg, checking on John in the bathroom before walking downstairs and starting the coffee maker. He had a few text messages from Angie, but ignored them, getting the newspaper off of the stoop and going back into the kitchen to read it and drink his coffee. He felt tired, but not too tired, more groggy than anything, which was a feeling Alex never minded too much. A few hours passed, Alex just sipping his coffee and reading his newspaper in peace, until John stumbled into the kitchen, his eyes squinted and his hair messy.

Not a word was said as John carefully wrapped his hands around Alex's waist and buried his head in Alex's neck. Alex sighed, leaning back against John, letting the younger man rest there for a little bit. It was a sweet moment after the shitty night they’d had.

"I'm sorry," Alex started.

"Hm?" John hummed, resting his chin on Alex's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Alex repeated. "You were right."

John paused. "I was?"

"You were," Alex confirmed. "You had every right to feel the way you did. With my track record, I don't blame you." Alex turned his head and kissed John's cheek. "But you need to know something."

"And what's that?" John mumbled.

"You are the first person to make me feel this good in a very long time. You are kind and patient, and so, so, so good." Alex placed his hand over John's. "I cannot express to you how happy I am that we're together. And you are good enough for me. You are  _ so _ good enough for me. Never, for a moment, have I doubted how wonderful you truly are. Never have I thought of you as lesser, or worse. It is my worst fear that you will never truly learn my unalterable adoration that I feel towards you."

John sighed, burying his face in Alex’s hair. "If she ever comes up to visit, you're not leaving my side, got that?"

"Got it," Alex nodded. "I did... I did call her last night. I told her that I thought we should give each other space. I told her how much I liked you, how happy I was with you, and how I didn't want to hurt you. Because I don't. You are the best thing in my life, John Laurens. Nothing will ever change that. You have a part of me, and no matter how far apart we are, you will always have it."

"I adore you, Alexander Hamilton," John mumbled.

"And I, you," Alex replied. The two leaned in for a kiss, but Alex quickly pulled away, smacking his lips. "You taste like vomit and Jack Daniels."

"Oh, that's gross, I should probably brush my teeth," John chuckled.

"Yeah, if you wanna kiss me at all today, that's probably a good idea," Alex chuckled.

John sighed, gently kissing Alex's shoulder. "I hate it when we fight."

"Me too," Alex agreed.

"Let's never do it again, alright?"

Alex smiled at John, pecking his lips. "Alright. Go brush." 


	20. Emo boyfriends and piss kinks

John groaned as he flopped back down on his and Alex's bed. Alex was still lying there, though he was reading. John sighed, cuddling up to Alex. He had just gotten off job number one for the day, and it was his only job for the day since the dance studio had been closed down for the week due to construction. Phillip had started first grade a few weeks ago, and John honestly could not believe it. He and Alex had seen Phillip off on the first day, and John was a crying mess while Alex offered tissues and hugs. John definitely was emotional throughout the day, telling all of his classes how proud he was of his son.

"You know," Alex started. "I wanted to live in New York City my whole life."

John tilted his head up at Alex. "Oh?"

Alex nodded, closing his book and smiling down at John. "Yeah. I used to go to the library in whatever town I was in and budget in my salary as Governor, with rent, food, and other expenses. My cousin and I, we didn't really have a lot of money, so I was renting books, going and using the computer library. It wasn't ideal, but it was nice." Alex chuckled. "Keeps me humble. Some people grew up with everything, and they don't seem to appreciate it in their adulthood. Don't get me wrong, I can be vain. I mean, I have a Lamborghini in the garage, but every day I wake up, and I'm so fucking grateful I wake up in a house like this, with a man like you next to me."

"That’s sweet," John mumbled. "Please tell me you don’t have to go into work today because if you do, I will literally come to your work and lay on your couch naked until you leave."

"Well, I like the sound of that," Alex laughed. "No, I have absolutely no reason to go into work today. I do have work I need to get done, but it's minimal. Do we have any errands we need to run today?"

"Lord, I hope not," John groaned. "I need to drop Phillip at school, and then I'm just gonna come back here, and we're going to get absolutely nothing done today, alright? I don't feel like having responsibilities."

Alex laughed, running his fingers through John's hair. "Where have you been all my life, gorgeous?"

"Fucking bitches, making bank," John mumbled, closing his eyes. He was quiet for a moment, then sat up, gasping. "Ah! Can't fall back asleep!" John climbed out of bed. "Alright, alright. I'm an adult. I have a child. I do responsible things."

"Yes," Alex nodded. "It's about a ten-minute drive there, and it's eight now, so I'd suggest getting a move on. I'll go downstairs and get some cereal ready while you get your little demon dressed."

John chuckled and walked out of the room and into Phillip's. Phillip was sleeping, and John very gently woke him, chuckling at Phillip's grumpy morning face. The yellow bonnet was still fitted securely onto Phillip's head, and John almost wanted to give the kid a robe, because he knew Phillip would absolutely adore the dramatic effect, and John would too. Phillip could very easily grow up to be a thespian, and John honestly would not mind that. John’s father never supported his love for the arts, so it would feel like a chance to be better than him, and support Phillip as much as he could.

"Come on, buddy, we gotta get going," John coaxed, helping Phillip get dressed and tying his hair up in a bun. "God, you're hair is getting long. You want to get it cut?"

Phillip shook his head. "I want it to be longer."

John chuckled, tucking a few strands behind Phillip's ear. "How much longer?"

Phillip extended his arms to give an example. "Super long! Like yours!"

John chuckled and fluffed up his hair, which was getting pretty long now, almost down to the middle of his chest. "Yeah, mine is getting pretty long. Are we gonna match?"

Phillip nodded. "But my hair is curlier than yours."

"Sometimes it’s just like that," John chuckled, picking up Phillip and carrying him downstairs.

"Do I have a mommy?" Phillip asked.

John froze where he stood, pushing his eyebrows together. "A what?"

"A mommy," Phillip repeated.

"Uh..." John swallowing hard. "Alex is making cereal."

"Papa," Phillip whined. "I wanna know because a lot of the other kids at my school have a mommy. Some even have  _ two  _ mommies, and my friend Jack said you can't have a baby without a mommy and papa, and they have to get married, and then the momma gets pregnant when they kiss, and then she pees out a baby."

"Jack is only seven, Pip, he doesn't know how babies are made," John chuckled, carrying Phillip downstairs.

"Well, how  _ are  _ babies made?" Phillip asked as they walked into the kitchen.

"How are babies made?" Alex coughed, looking over at the two of them.

"Alex, don't answer that," John warned. "Phillip, sometimes, when two people love each other very much, they share a very special bond, and that creates a child. Sometimes, that bond can be a bit of a surprise, but it doesn't make the baby any less special or loved."

"If it takes two people, who's my other one?" Phillip pushed.

John set Phillip down on the stool. "Umm"

"Do I have a mommy?" Phillip continued.

John glanced over Alex, his eyes wide.

"Well, Pip, sometimes kids only have one parent," Alex quickly cut in. "Because sometimes it's only one parent who wants a kid. My mom raised me alone, and she loved me very much. Do you know that your papa loves you?"

Phillip nodded.

"Then that's all that matters. I promise, you are not the only kid with only one parent, and you have one hell of a dad. He works very hard for you, and he loves you very much. Does that satisfy your curiosity?" Alex asked as he placed the cereal in front of Phillip.

"How are babies made?" Phillip repeated.

"Mitosis," John answered as he began making Phillip's lunch.

Alex chuckled. "Your dad is right. Okay, are you ready for school, Phillip?"

The kid nodded.

"And then you have your French lessons after school. Aunt Maria has offered to take you, alright?" John downed a cup of coffee, sighing. "God, work was a hassle this morning. Alcoholism is ruining America. Someone had the audacity to throw their drink at me."

Alex looked over. "What?"

"Strawberry Smirnoff vodka." John chuckled. "I just washed it out of my hair and wiped down my face. It was gross, but his girlfriend offered a great tip."

"You should quit that job," Alex stated.

"Whoa there, I don't know how my body would react if I started getting... more than five hours." John laughed a bit. "I don't mind it anyway, and I know that rent is cheap here, but I still have to work."

"You need to stop burning the candle at both ends," Alex scolded.

John just rolled his eyes, pouring more coffee. "I don't need to hear this coming from you. You are a workaholic down to the finest print."

"What's a workaholic?" Phillip asked.

"A workaholic is someone who works way too much instead of doing important things like sleeping and eating," John explained sweetly. "Phillip, sweetie, do you want turkey or ham on your sandwich?"

"Turkey," Phillip answered.

"Alright, and do you have anything cool happening today? Any forms I need to sign? Any fees that need to be paid? Do you have enough pencils?" John listed as he put the lunch into a paper bag for Phillip.

"My teacher, Mrs. Bartusch wants to take my class on a field trip to the science museum," Phillip announced.

"Does she need chaperones?" John asked.

"I dunno," Phillip shrugged.

John cocked an eyebrow. "Were you paying attention?"

Phillip giggled. "George was making faces at me! I was laughing so hard, but on the inside so Mrs. B didn't know."

John sighed, shaking his head. "You should pay attention to when your teacher is telling you things. Alright, go upstairs and get your backpack, and make sure to grab your French book too. Ms. Adrienne works very hard to teach you, and I don't want to make it harder."

Phillip downed his cereal milk. "Okay!"

John sighed, pulling Alex into his arms. "There was a time in my life where I would just walk around my the city with him in a Bjorn, pointing at things and saying what they were so he could maybe learn his first word."

"What was Phillip's first word?" Alex asked.

John leaned against the counter, thinking. "It was 'puppy' and then 'papa' shortly after, and then 'apple.' Phillip never had trouble with the p sounds, but oh my goodness, he couldn't pronounce his r's for so long, it was the cutest thing. He would call Maria 'muh-wia.' It was so freaking cute."

"That's what you get for raising him on the east coast," Alex snorted. 

"When do you think I'll level up and get my accent?" John asked. "Because right now, I'm still kickin' it with a South Carolina drawl."

"I didn't start talking like a New Yorker until I lived here for a solid ten years since I came with a pretty strong Hispanic accent. You'll get there," Alex teased.

John chuckled, pecking Alex's lips. He gently ran his finger over the split lip, which was almost gone. "How are you?"

Alex shrugged. "Okay. It'd be a lot worse if I didn't have you clinging to my side every night like an attention starved koala bear." Alex let out a small laugh. "That whole thing was a shit show. You know why I divorced her now."

"Didn't she divorce you?" John deadpanned.

"It was mutual," Alex stated. "If I hadn't been balls deep in my alcoholism, then I  _ totally _ would've divorced her first."

John sighed, kissing Alex's lips. "You’re cute, Alexander." John sighed, rubbing Alex's shoulders a little bit. "Alright, when I get back, you are getting a massage. You seriously need it."

"Bah," Alex smiled.

"I'm ready to go, Papa!" Phillip announced as he walked back into the kitchen.

"Do you have your French book?" John asked.

Phillip nodded.

"Do you have your lunch?" John asked.

Phillip took on his tiptoes, grabbing his lunch from the counter, then nodded.

"Alright, let's go. Babe, I'll see you in twenty," John chuckled, pecking Alex's lips.

"Have a good day at school, Phillip!" Alex smiled as the two of them walked out of the house. He sighed, smiling as John got Phillip in the car and then drove off.

Alex sipped his coffee, making his way back upstairs, where he stripped off his clothes and laid down on the bed. Alex casually pulled out his phone from his nightstand, rolling onto his stomach and scrolling through Twitter, sending Alexandria some encouragement since she went  _ off.  _ He was grateful she was in politics because Lord knew how bad things were. She seemed to be one of the few Democrats who was actually standing up to the president with this much vigor.

"What an icon," Alex mumbled at a few of her Tweets. Eventually, he turned on the news, flipping his phone sideways so he could catch up on today's events. He smiled when he heard the shower going, knowing John must've gotten home, and waited a little longer until he heard John walk in.

John was absolutely naked, with probably the largest bowl of pizza rolls Alex had ever seen. He was currently fanning his mouth, having taken a bite of a burning pizza roll, and regretting every decision he’d ever made.

"They were right, it does get better," Alex chuckled, rolling onto his back as John climbed into the bed.

"Hm?" John hummed, looking at Alex as he took another bite of a pizza roll, because the past was in the past, and surely things had cooled down in the thirty seconds between the first pizza roll and this pizza roll.

"When I was in AA and therapy and with friends, the most popular phrase they liked to throw around was 'it does get better', and I always thought it was bullshit, but my boyfriend just walked into my bedroom, totally naked, with a bowl of pizza rolls, so I should probably go tell my therapist that she was right, life really does get better." Alex took a bite of a pizza roll, not minding how hot it was since he was used to chugging hot coffee in the morning.

"Mm, well, I figured, why wear clothes when I don't have to?" John chuckled.

"You're totally right," Alex chuckled, cuddling closer to John. "God, these are hot."

"Speaking of hot, you need a massage, so let's let these cool, and you can roll over and I can rub your back," John pointed out, setting the bowl on the nightstand and grabbing some lotion. "Come on, when was the last time you got a massage?"

"A real one or one that was meant to lead to sex?" Alex asked, rolling onto his stomach.

"Well, this is a real one, but it's going to lead to sex anyway," John informed Alex, straddling the older man's thighs as he dumped an unholy amount of lotion into his hand.

"Well, I've never actually gotten a real massage. I've gotten ones that were meant to turn me on, but those aren't really massages," Alex retold. "So this will be a first."

John rubbed his hands together. "Baby, you have not been treated right."

"Oh really? What tipped you off?" Alex joked. He was about to make another snide comment, but then he felt John's fingers begin to work at the muscle in his back. "Oh, fuck."

"This may hurt a bit, but it's going to feel good in the end, I promise," John mumbled. "Jesus, Alex, it's like rubbing beef jerky."

Alex laughed and groaned. "It feels so good." Alex let out a long groan as John dug into a particularly tense muscle. "Shit."

"Yeah, I kinda rock at this," John informed Alex as he continued. "When I was a kid taking dance classes, my classmates would always ask me to get the knots out of their calves, and well, a good massage lost me my virginity."

"Ooh, to who?" Alex joked.

"The French Ambassador's daughter in her dorm room at Miss Porter's. And you?" John answered.

"Nanette Himmelfarb, the rabbi's daughter at the Scarsdale Jewish community center," Alex admitted. "Wait, when were you in Connecticut? Isn't Miss Porter's an all-girls college? Give me backstory."

"I was fifteen, but I looked seventeen and could pass for eighteen if I wanted to," John started. "It was a high school trip for extra credit for my Government class. We stayed there for two days, and of course, a friend and I had snuck out to a college party a bit away, since we knew it was at an all-girls school. She was tall, pretty blonde hair, and was surprised that an eighteen-year-old as gorgeous as me had yet to be deflowered."

"She called you gorgeous?" Alex snorted.

"Something like that," John chuckled. "We were just gonna give each other head back at her dorm, but she was so stressed, so I offered a massage, which turned into the two of us getting hot and steamy, and I may have walked onto that campus a boy, but I walked out a man. My friend walked out hungover."

"Wow, sounds like your first time beats mine by a longshot," Alex chuckled.

"Okay, well, what made Nanette Himmelfarb so special?" John asked.

"Oh, nothing," Alex stated. "I was seventeen, and I had taken a wrong turn and accidentally driven to Scarsdale instead of Albany, which pissed my cousin off to no extent. It was too late to go somewhere else, so we spent the night, but I didn't really wanna be in the hotel, since my cousin was drinking a lot, so I wandered, ended up at temple in the morning, went to the community center afterward with Nanette, and we ended up doing it in the janitorial closet."

"You never talk about your cousin, didn't you live with him for five years?" John mumbled, working out a bit of a knot in Alex's shoulder.

"Four years, three months," Alex corrected. "Went to seventeen different high schools, had no personal belongings, and really just hated it. Uh, in my senior year, he offed himself, and I was on my own, but it was just a few months until my eighteenth birthday, so as long as I proved to the court that I could live on my own, I wouldn't be put in the system."

"Wait, your cousin killed himself?" John asked.

Alex groaned as John continued rubbing his back. "Yeah. It wasn't too much of a big deal. He hated me, really, and I wasn't exactly his biggest fan either. It was either him or James, but James was like, pretty homeless and in and out of rehab, so he wasn't a good parent."

"Both you and your brother have gone to rehab?" John asked.

"Me, my brother, my mom, both her parents and back. Alcoholism runs in my genes." Alex chuckled. "You know, I actually didn't start drinking until I was like, twenty-one. I was not an underage drinker."

"For real? I mean, everyone was an underage drinker," John argued.

"Not me," Alex stated proudly. "I just did cocaine."

John laughed. "Yeah, right."

"No, I did," Alex assured him.

"Okay then," John snorted.

Alex craned his head around to look at John. "I had a serious coke problem all through high school."

"Wait, are you being serious?" John asked.

Alex nodded. "Yeah, how do you think I got good grades? You don't keep such a high GPA and sleep. I think I slept once every three days for most of my high school career. Then, over the summer, I would sleep for three months straight. I mean, seriously, for the summer, I slept about fifteen, sixteen hours every day."

"God, Alex, did you like, hate your body or something?" John asked. "Do you still hate your body? You seem to lack basic self-care. Like, you're a bit of a workaholic."

"I thought we established that," Alex laughed. "No, I rarely partake in self-care. Uh, yeah, no, my idea of being nice to myself is, uh, probably not drinking, and eating at least one meal? Yeah, that's self-care."

"Boy, you are missing a whole world of face masks and daytime television," John chuckled.

"Mm, this feels like caring for myself," Alex mumbled closing his eyes. "You're really good at this."

John gently leaned down and kissed the back of Alex's neck. "Thank you. You know, I like your short hair. It's cute. Just promise me something?"

"Yes?" Alex chuckled.

"Don't shave the goatee," John requested. "I like the way it feels when we kiss, and then when you drink hot chocolate or some other drink like that, you get a little foam mustache, and it's so cute. Facial hair suits you."

"Okay, I won't shave it. I like it, anyway. Oh, God, but Eliza hated it. Even Angie was only partial. Jay didn't mind it though, he said it made me look older."

"It's nice," John assured Alex. "How does your back feel?"

"Strangely good," Alex chuckled. "Feed me a pizza roll."

"I got a bunch of lotion on my hands," John pointed out.

"If I can drink my own piss mixed with sand and bread crumbs for three days straight, then I can have a pizza roll with lotion," Alex stated.

"You got me there," John fed Alex a pizza roll.

"Oh, God, it's hot," Alex gasped.

John chuckled. "Okay, so, what's the grossest thing you had to do in the army?"

"You know, for a massage that's supposed to lead to sex, we're sure not talking about sexy things," Alex laughed. "Uh, I don't really know. I'm gonna be honest here John, my military experience was a huge, gross blur of sex and bodily fluids."

John smiled, rolling off of Alex and lying back down. "Okay, sit up, tell me how your back feels. Tell me if you feel any places that feel stiff or something."

Alex pushed himself up on his knees, then let out a deep breath. "Whoa, I don't think my body has felt this good since third grade. You just cured my onset scoliosis."

John snorted, pulling Alex back down and into a kiss. "You're so fucking weird."

Alex smiled, leaning a bit more into the kiss and gripping John's hand. He pulled away for a second, thinking. "Should I turn on some music?"

"Oh, yeah, how about we listen to my Spotify playlist I made when I was seventeen called 'songs to smash to' or something like that," John joked.

Alex nodded and laughed. "No, that actually sounds awesome. Please pull that up."

John chuckled, reaching over to the nightstand and grabbing his phone. "It's a lot of Lauryn Hill, just warning you. Remember, nineties women were the reason I lived through my childhood."

"Didn't you have like, a super emo boyfriend though?" Alex asked as John pressed shuffle on the playlist.

One Thing by Lauryn Hill came on and John smiled, then looked back to Alex. "Uh, yeah, but that didn't mean I was into his music. You know I loved that early two thousand and nineties shit."

"Okay, well, it's awesome you had the music taste of a sixteen-year-old girl for most of your life, including now, since I still hear you singing TLC, but I would really enjoy it if we actually fucked, instead of just listening to songs about fucking." Alex pushed himself on top of John, straddling his waist. "We have the whole day to ourselves, and I want to start it off with some really good, slow sex. Then, as the day goes on, I want it to get rougher, and rougher, until eventually you just slap me until I cum, basically."

"Okay, so what I'm hearing is, you want that, that-" John thrust his hips upward a bit, making Alex laugh. " _ Deep _ stroke. That  _ long  _ stroke. You want me to do a couple of fast strokes, just to keep the mood up, and then you want me to go back to that  _ deep  _ stroke that you can feel in your bowels."

Alex gasped, laughing. "You're so stupid!"

John chuckled, pulling Alex down into a kiss. "Yeah, I am."

Alex sighed, feeling John's hands slip down to his hips. John ground up against Alex as the kiss got more heated. Alex moaned at the contact, but he needed more. He needed John inside him. The immigrant blindly reached over to his nightstand, fumbling through the drawers for some lube. The first thing he pulled out was hemp lotion, which he tossed to the floor before finally grabbing the lube. He set it on a pillow, then reached down between them to grab a hold of John's cock, giving it a few pumps to encourage blood flow.

"You make me feel a way I've never felt before," John admitted, rocking his hips as he ran his fingers through Alex's short hair.

"Mm? How so?" Alex teased, hoping John would confess what he’d said while drunk on the bathroom floor.

"Well, I’ve never been with someone who gives such great handjobs, first of all," John laughed. "And well, I dunno. I just adore you, Alexander."

"I love the way you say my name," Alex admitted, chuckling as he ground down a bit more, angling himself so that John’s dick would slip between his cheeks. "You always say it with a southern slur, and you just-" Alexander cut himself off, bringing John in for a kiss. "You just are so perfect."

John chuckled and flipped them over, grinding into Alex a bit as he began kissing the man's neck. Then he heard it. The start of that dreaded two thousand nine Owl City song. Alex burst out laughing as John groaned, resting his head against Alex's shoulder. Alex was cackling, running his fingers through John's hair.

"I'm skipping this," John grumbled.

"No!" Alex laughed. "Come on, John, it's the best song!"

"I'm not having sex with you to Fireflies by Owl City!" John playfully argued, grabbing at his phone. "I don't even know why I put this on the playlist. Oh, my God, why was I like this?"

"Because you were a baby," Alex teased.

"God, I was," John mumbled as Birthday Sex came on. "There we go, some classic sex music."

"The autotune," Alex chuckled.

"Mm, I know, but it was the two thousands," John chuckled, going back down to kiss Alex's neck, grinding against him. "Condom?"

"We're out," Alex mumbled, gasping a bit as John bit down on his skin. "It's fine though."

"You want me to pull out or-"

"Nah," Alex replied. "Lube's on the pillow, just, ah-” John was already thrusting, and the tip of his cock had caught on Alex’s opening. “Fuck, please, just fuck me." Alex gasped a bit as John sat up, giving the older man's cock a few tugs. "Ah, fuck, okay, shit, fuck."

John grabbed the lube and poured a generous amount onto his dick, relaxing at the contact. Alex spread his legs as John pulled him down on the bed a bit, Alex's hips propped up on John's bent knees. John grunted deep in his throat, closing his eyes as he slowly pushed in. Alex gasped, gripping John's hand as John pushed a bit further.

"Shit," John muttered, bottoming out. He had to adjust himself a bit so he could begin thrusting, but Alex's hips were still propped up against him. The position was nice, for both of them. It took a second of waiting, John making sure Alex was okay, before Alex nodded, signaling that John could begin moving.

"Shit, look at you," Alex muttered. "So fucking hot. So fucking, just, fuck, you're so gorgeous." Alex let out a breathy moan as John rolled his hips against his. "Fuck, dick game  _ strong. _ "

John laughed, tilting his head back a bit. "You're so weird."

Alex gasped a bit as John thrust in a bit harder than expected. "Fuck, John, I just, you feel so good. I, fuck, I love-" Alex's throat choked up, and he felt John stall for a second. "-this. Fuck, I love this so much."

"Mm, me too," John agreed, chuckling a bit. "God, Alex, shit."

Alex, who hadn't taken off his prosthetic, though the idea was in the back of his mind, dug his feet into the mattress and began meeting John's thrusts with much vigor. The sex continued nicely. It was slow and sweet, which is something that they hadn't really done before. Neither was complaining though. Alex loved the way John gripped his hips, pulling him closer. It was comforting.

John felt himself get closer, and since the sex was pretty vanilla, he didn't bother distracting himself. Usually, when he and Alex were having rough sex, John would finish last, since it was more of a dominance thing to him. Since they were just fucking to fuck though, John figured it wasn’t as big of a deal, so he let himself get closer and closer as he thrust into Alex.

"Fuck, I'm close, baby," John mumbled. "God, this is your last chance. Do you want me to pull out before I- fuck- before I cum?"

"No, please, come inside me," Alex moaned, gripping John's hand even tighter. "Fuck, fuck, please, yes!"

"Shit!" John moaned, moving a bit faster as he felt himself get even closer. "I"m gonna, I'm gonna, ah!" John slammed into Alex. "Alex! Fuck!"

John groaned as he released into Alex, quivering a bit as his eyes closed and his jaw fell slack. Alex was breathing heavily, sighing as John pulled out. Both were breathing heavily, though it was still very apparent that Alex hadn't finished. John took a second, swaying lightly on his knees to recover from the orgasm before he finally opened his eyes and looked to Alex.

"Okay, how do you want me to do this? I could finger you, eat your ass, we could use a dildo, good old fashioned blow job, as long as you promise not to finish in my mouth." John scooted back a bit, letting Alex's hips fall onto the bed. "You choose."

"Well, actually I was wondering..." Alex trailed off, smiling a bit.

"You want to eat my ass? You want to, I dunno, top me? No to that, by the way," John guessed, smirking.

"Can I cum on your ass?"

John tilted his head. " _ On _ my ass?"

Alex nodded. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I kinda have a thing for your ass."

John chuckled. "Yeah, sure."

John got out from between Alex's legs, laying down on his stomach on the bed. Alex straddled John's thighs, gently running his hand over the younger man's ass. It was so soft and smooth. Alex found himself leaning down, planting kisses on John's back dimples, then onto the perfect curvature of his ass. John handed Alex back the lube because he knew how uncomfortable it could be to jerk off without some sort of lubricant.

Alex laughed a bit as he began drumming a little beat on John's butt. "It's like bongos. Two perfect bongos." Alex squeezed the skin, sighing. "I just love your ass. I could literally just spend all day playing with it."

"Mm, you know you're the first person I've ever been with who has such an obsession with it," John chuckled. "You're a little whore for it, aren't you?"

Alex felt his cock twitch at those words and squeezed a fair amount of lube onto his hand before slowly beginning to stroke himself. "Yeah."

"Mm, I know you are," John teased. "You just worship me, don't you?"

Alex placed one hand on John's ass as he jerked himself off, closing his eyes and groaning. "Oh, God, John." Alex filled his mind with his deepest darkest fantasies. John, fucking him over his desk at work as the silhouettes of people walked by. Being tied up and blindfolded while John just did whatever he wanted to him. "Fuck!"

"Mm, what are you thinking about?" John asked.

"I'm thinking about you," Alex moaned out. "I'm thinking about you pulling my hair, fucking me senseless. I'm thinking about how satisfied you look every time you see me walk bow-legged. The way you talk to me, the way you feel inside of me, fuck!" Alex squeezed John's ass a little harder. "Fuck, I'm close."

"Come on, slut, finish on my ass like I know you want to," John growled. "You're my dirty whore, all mine. Come on, say my name, you fucking skank."

"Ah, shit, shit, John!" Alex gasped, finally releasing. His cum squirted out of his dick and onto the smooth skin of John's ass. Alex groaned, shuddering a bit as he finished himself off. The sight of John's ass covered in come was probably the hottest thing Alex had ever seen. It was dripping down the sides, and Alex never wanted to forget this.

"Baby, can I take a picture?" Alex asked.

John reached over to Alex's nightstand and grabbed the older man's phone. "Yeah, sure. Don't send it to anyone, and make sure it's at a good angle."

"Of course," Alex chuckled, taking his phone from John. He turned on the camera and placed one hand back on John's ass as he angled the camera, looking for a good position. He snapped a couple of pictures, then grabbed a tee shirt to wipe his come off of John before lying down next to John.

"Was that good for you?" John asked.

Alex nodded. "I think I still have your cum in me."

John rolled onto his side and pulled Alex against him so that they were spooning. "It's okay. It'll come out eventually. Or you'll get pregnant. Last time I didn't use a condom someone got pregnant, so with my luck, we're gonna be like one of those weird fanfics where the dudes can get pregnant."

"Oh, yeah, I am definitely capable of getting pregnant," Alex joked. Alex hummed as he cuddled closer to John, listening to the music that John's phone was still playing. "Is this Party In The USA?"

John groaned, hugging Alex tighter. "I was seventeen and probably on drugs."

Alex laughed. "I'm happy with you, John Laurens."

John kissed Alex's neck, smiling. "I'm happy with you too." John sighed, breathing in the scent of Alex's cologne. "I can't believe that Lafayette and Herc are gonna, like, get engaged."

"How are you so sure?" Alex mused.

"I mean, have you seen them? I'm surprised they're not already married," John went on. "Ooh! It's Fergalicious! I love this song."

Alex laughed. "You listen to Fergie?"

"Female artists really got me," John explained as Alex rolled over to face him. "I mean, I just love them. Women from the nineties to the late two thousands were some of the most slut shamed women in the world, but they didn't even care. I mean, Fergie was out there kissing whoever she wanted, Shakira, Gaga, Perry, they all just killed it. I miss the two thousands."

"Yeah, you like, became a person in the two thousands," Alex nodded.

"Eight to eighteen," John smiled. "Pip was born in two thousand twelve, but you knew that. Isn't his birthday your password for your phone?"

"My password for everything, actually," Alex informed John. "I didn't really experience the two thousands, I was sort of, well, on a bender. What did I miss?"

"Uh, Silly Bandz, My Chemical Romance, Disney Channel’s good shows. That's So Raven was like, the shit. I used to have the whole series on the box set. Uh, Wii, terrible fashion, and a lot of emo kids."

"You had an emo boyfriend," Alex teased.

"Oh, since I signed into my Apple ID account on the phone you got me, I have all these photos from high school and college. You wanna see?" John offered.

Alex nodded, his eyes wide. "Oh, my God, yes!"

"I was super cringey, just warning you." John reached over and grabbed his phone, turning down his music as they both rolled onto their stomachs and propped themselves up on their elbows. "I have like, a million photos of Phillip on here. Ever since I got a phone with a high-quality camera, I haven't been able to stop myself from taking pictures of him."

"You're welcome," Alex smiled.

John rolled his eyes, scrolling up through over five thousand photos, all the way to some of the first pictures John ever took on a camera phone. John had his Samsung flip phone and was holding it up, taking a mirror selfie. He had on a blue and yellow striped polo shirt and was sticking his tongue out for the camera.

Alex laughed. "Wow! You dressed like that?"

"It gets worse," John assured Alex, scrolling through the pictures. "Animal print, v-necks, I was really a closeted emo in the late two thousands."

"Wait, wait, who's  _ that _ ?" Alex teased, pointing to a boy with heavy eyeliner and a Fall Out Boy shirt kissing John on the cheek as the picture was taken.

"My first boyfriend, Jasper Harrington," John laughed.

"Damn, you two were skinny," Alex mumbled.

"He was 'too emo to eat,'” John quoted, chuckling. "Oh, right here? That was the night we broke up. About ten minutes after this picture was taken, he told me he wanted to marry me, so I slept with the drummer in his band."

"How old were you?" Alex asked.

"Seventeen," John answered. "I think this was my junior year." John swiped to the next picture. "This was me right before the huge dance recital that got me my scholarship. Well, almost. I had to gain weight for it, but it was what got their attention."

"You were really skinny," Alex mumbled.

John nodded. "Well, at this point, I hadn't eaten anything but orange juice and almonds in the past four days. I wanted to prevent bloat for the recital. I lost three pounds, and then I gained it all back that night when I ate, not one, but two pizzas. My weight was pretty up and down for that last year. Uh, the next day, I got a call, and they asked to meet me for dinner with a guardian, but since I didn't want to bring my dad, I asked my dance teacher to come with me. It was an Italian place, and they basically sat me down and told me that they wanted to offer me a full ride scholarship to the dance program at NYU."

"Wow," Alex nodded.

"Then they told me that I needed to be in a certain weight range in the next four months to qualify," John sighed. "So I gained like, forty pounds in four months, which isn’t easy when you haven't eaten in like, three years."

"Do you ever think about what would've happened if you had been able to finish college? Like, if you hadn't knocked Martha up?" Alex asked.

"Can I answer you without sounding like a terrible parent?" John mumbled quietly.

Alex nodded.

John sighed. "All the time. It's not like I resent Phillip, because it wasn't his fault, and I love him. Even if I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing. But, I mean, I had a job on Broadway lined up for me, as a dancer. They wanted me to finish college, and then I would go straight onto Broadway shows. I mean, I've met some guys who have written some top musicals. I would've, I would've been a part of big things."

"Okay, let's say all that happened, how would Philip and I have come into your life?" Alex asked. "Because,  _ obviously _ , you were meant to meet us, so how would we have ended up a group? Huh? Gimme a theory?"

"We really fantasizing about my hypothetical future?" John laughed.

"We are, now gimme a theory," Alex instructed.

"Alright, well, I probably would've still accidentally knocked Martha up, just later in my life. So, I would've graduated at twenty-two, probably had Phillip at twenty-four. So, at this point, I would have a stable job, probably as a chorus member for musicals, since I do actually have a really good voice. Uh, it's what I had always wanted to. I would've met Herc, James, and Peggy through preschool with all of our kids, and I've known Maria since college anyway. No, okay, so I have Phillip, I'm like, twenty-six now, I'm holding him, it's after a show, and you are backstage because Lafayette definitely dragged you to see whatever show I was in, and you guys got backstage tickets because you both are that extra. We would've met because I would've been the only performer walking around with a baby on my hip, and then you would've slipped me your number."

"Ooh, so I’ve got skills in your hypothetical future?" Alex joked.

John nodded, laughing. "You know, now that I say it out loud, it doesn't sound as good as what I have now."

"Oh?" Alex mused.

John nodded, resting his head against Alex's shoulder. "I wasn't one of those stupid college kids for very long. I knew what it was like to be in love with someone at a very young age. I mean, everything that happened to me led up to this moment. And I wouldn't take it back for the world. I wouldn't take back all those nights I spent in my apartment while my friends partied, feeding Phillip and walking around so he would sleep. I wouldn't take back a single sleepless night, any sacrificed opportunities, nothing." John scrolled to a few photos he had on his phone of him and Phillip when Phillip was a baby. A photo of John helping Phillip walk that Maria had taken. "The moment I had Phillip, none of it really mattered anymore. I just didn't care. I could've stayed in college and been a neglectful parent for a while, but I just, I didn’t want that for him."

Alex turned his head and kissed John's cheek. "You're a good parent."

John turned off his phone and put it on his nightstand. "I try my best. It's weird to think that when he turns twenty, I'm gonna only be forty. Ugh, he's going to ask about who his mom is eventually. There's no parenting book for this."

"You should write one," Alex suggested.

"Yeah, totally, I'll just write a book," John snorted.

"Yeah, you should," Alex nodded.

John paused. "Are you being serious?"

Alex nodded. "Come on, there have to be so many parents who are raising their kids, young and alone. I know all those rich white women running those mommy blogs are there, but maybe it's time for a poor Hispanic man to write about his experiences raising his son in New York City. All the things you learned and the skills you collected. You could do it."

"Alex, I can't write a book," John laughed.

"Why not?" Alex asked.

"Because, I mean, I don't even have a laptop, where would I-"

"I'll get you a laptop," Alex stated.

"No, and what would I even write about?" John asked.

"You, being a low income parent, raising your kid alone. What you learned, what you did, what you figured out and realized," Alex listed. "I mean, John, raising a kid alone as a low income class parent is not a unique experience, and what about all those other twenty-year-olds out there who are frantically flipping through Parenting For Dummies trying to figure out what to do when the baby is crying?"

"They're probably teething," John mumbled.

"Exactly," Alex nodded. "Write a book."

"Well, when would I even have the time to-"

Alex cut John off. "There are always a million reasons not to do something, but sometimes you just gotta do it. And you may really enjoy writing the book, or you might give up a few pages in. Either way, it’s fine, but you should try."

John smiled softly, pushing Alex onto his back and kissing him. "I absolutely adore you."

Alex smiled and wrapped his arms around John's neck. "You know, our one year anniversary is coming up."

"Day of the Dead," John smiled. "What should we do for it? Fancy date, or something else that most couples would do?"

Alex shrugged. "Sex marathon, movie, clubbing, I don't really care."

John leaned down and began kissing Alex's neck. "Well, we have the tools to make presidents disappear, so how about we take a trip down to DC and-"

"You anarchist," Alex teased.

John just sighed, running his fingers through Alex's hair. "God, sometimes I wonder how I lucked out so much. Cute  _ and _ rich, I really hit the jackpot."

"Oh, yeah, because I totally could've gotten anyone else if I wanted," Alex remarked sarcastically. "In case you haven't noticed, John, it's not that hard for me to stay single. No one is really interested in me."

"And why's that?" John asked skeptically.

"Uh, have you met me? I have the emotional stability of someone who doesn't have much emotional stability. I have a crazy ex-wife, an origin story that sounds like Batman’s, and on top of that, I will wear socks with sandals."

"Okay, you're not special, everyone wears socks with Birkenstocks, Alex," John teased. "And for the record, I like being with you, shitty origin story and all. Also-" John leaned down, pecking Alex's lips. "I think you don't give yourself enough credit, because you are a pretty great person to be with. You're the only boyfriend who's ever brought me breakfast in bed, and you have a really cute face. Let's not forget about the fact that you are just so nice to be with, even if you're working way too much."

Alex scoffed and swatted John's chest. "I have never overworked myself ever in my entire life."

"We both know that's wrong, honey," John sighed, leaning down and kissing Alex's lips. "But, it's okay, because I think you're excellent just the same." John leaned down and kissed Alex. "What should we do for Christmas?"

"I kinda like what we did last year," Alex nodded. "It'll be our second Christmas together, so maybe we take it easy again. Why? Did you have anything in mind?"

John shook his head. "No, just thinking ahead I guess. Uh, God, I can't believe It's gonna be Christmas soon. God, time really does fly."

"Yeah, this is one of the better years I've had," Alex laughed. He sighed, staring up at John. "Let's just never leave this bed."

John chuckled and nipped at Alex's neck. "You up for round two?"

"Yes, but I'm riding you this time."

A few minutes later, Alex was sitting between John's legs, kissing up and down the younger man's thighs. John would let out a small laugh every so often when Alex nipped the sensitive skin. Alex kissed down to John's calves, biting them gently, making John laugh even more. It was a beautiful sight, seeing John smile.

"What would you do if I licked your foot?" Alex asked. "Like, be for real with me."

"I'd kick you," John snorted. "Don't tell me you have a foot fetish, because I've had boyfriend's who’ve had foot fetishes, and shit has gotten really weird when they were doing that reverse cowboy thing and they started sucking on my toes."

"I don't have a foot fetish," Alex assured John. "But I have incorporated feet into sex before because I've been with people who like that shit. It's not that awful if you know what's coming. I mean, I totally get if it comes out of nowhere, but it's not all that bad when like, it had been agreed on."

"Are you hinting at something?" John deadpanned.

Alex shrugged. "Maybe."

"Please don't suck my toes," John asked. "I can get pretty weird during sex, but feet are just too far for me. I don't know why, but they are."

"Okay, so you don't like swallowing, and you don't like feet. What's the weirdest you'll do? No, even better, what's the weirdest you've done?" Alex asked, kissing up to John's thigh again. "Like, be for real with me."

"The weirdest sex I've done?" John thought, then laughed a bit. "You have to promise you will not laugh. It wasn't my thing, it was hers."

"I promise," Alex assured John.

"Okay, I was sort of with this girl in college, right? And..." John paused, biting his lip. "She kinda had a piss kink."

Alex gasped, looking up from John's thigh with a surprised look on his face. "Oh, my God! You would let her pee on you, but you won't let me lick your feet?"

"She didn't pee on me," John scoffed.

"Wow, you peed on her?" Alex laughed. "Oh my God! Really? What was it like? Did it turn you on? Give me some details, John. You can't just say things like that and not, like, continue. Were you into it?"

John shrugged. "I mean, it was hot, but like, more in a way where I'm glad I tried it but would never do it again. Uh, it was okay, it wasn't bad. I did really have to pee. I was already turned on because we had been doing some foreplay."

"Okay, wait, so like, did you pee in her mouth or-"

"Ew! Alex!" John scoffed. "No! Do we have to talk about my piss sex experience right now?"

"Uh, yeah! Hold on, what other weird things have you done? Have you ever used shit? Blood? I mean, why stop at piss? Any spinal fluid? Ooh! Vomit?" Alex listed, sounded like an excited child on Christmas.

"I have used blood, blood has been involved," John confirmed. "I was hooking up with a guy who had a serious pain kink, and he loved it when I cut him or burnt him. That was really hot, I'm not going to lie. Uh, yeah, usually both of us had some amount of blood on each other by the end of the sex. I have had sex with girls on their periods, but we used a condom, so I don't think it was that bad. What about you? Anything weird?"

"Angie had a serious thing for feet, so that. Uh..." Alex thought, resting his head on John's thigh. "You know those really intense kinky sex houses in like, France? You know the ones? Like, they did an episode of AHS that had one in it."

"Yes, I know what you're talking about," John nodded.

"Uh, well, Thomas and I had just gotten off our third tour, and this was before I got with Jay, and we both just, we were very horny, so we went to one of those things and, uh, well, you know. We, uh."

John cut him off, laughing a bit. "Oh my God. You went to a whore house?"

Alex nodded. "Alright, let it out. Yes, I went to a whore house, and I got topped by a woman wearing the biggest  _ fucking _ strap-on I have ever seen. Like, it was crazy."

John rolled his head back, laughing. "Oh, my God, come here, hop on my dick before this conversation makes me soft. I can't believe you went to a whore house."

"I was horny! Kind of all the time, actually." Alex defended, moving so he was straddling John's waist. Alex squirted a bit of lube on John's cock before sinking down. "This is like, the most casual sex I've had in, well, ever really."

"The day is young, so don't get used to it. We have like, five more hours of having the house to ourselves, so like, this isn't gonna be happening all day, got that?" John assured Alex as the older man ground his hips a bit, bottoming out.

Alex smiled and leaned about against John's now bent knees, sighing as he moved his hips in light circles to cause a bit of friction. "Mm, that sounds good.

"What if I got nipple piercings?" John mumbled.

"Why would you want to do that?" Alex asked, shaking his head and laughing a bit.

"I really don't know," John replied. "It would make my nipples stick out even more."

"Well, hold on, they don't like, stick out right now," Alex pointed out. "You say “even more” like your nipples are a noticeable thing. Uh, back to the question though, I don't think you should because, like, ow."

"Well, I wanna get a piercing or a tattoo or something," John mumbled. "I dunno, any suggestions?"

"Let's get matching tattoos," Alex offered.

"I don't get tattoos that represent relationships. I have my son, my state, and my favorite childhood movie, let's stay on theme," John chuckled.

Alex ground his hips down pretty hard. "Uh, how about a dragon?"

"Why a dragon?" John asked.

"Because dragons are cool," Alex laughed.

John sighed, looking up at the ceiling for a second. "I'll figure it out. Alright, are you ready? Should we get this thing going?"

Alex patted John's chest, smiling. "Alright, let's get this party started."

Across town, some people, Like Hercules, were actually working and being responsible instead of rolling around in bed with their spouses all morning. Herc was currently overseeing his AP art class, which consisted of about four or five students. Herc was painting, helping his students. He was wearing his painting clothes, so of course, you couldn't even tell what logo was on the tee shirt, though Herc was pretty sure it was from some music festival he attended in Kansas. His Carhartt pants were also covered in a fair amount of paint, and his hands looked like they had gloves on, but Herc never minded.

"Mr. Mulligan, how do I make this high light look natural?" Sarah, another very great artist, asked as she looked over to Herc.

"Uh, what color are you high lighting?" Herc asked, looking over.

"Brown and orange," she answered.

"Uh, use yellow for the high light, for both of them," Herc suggested, coming over. "Yeah, for such an intense orange you got, you want to use like, just the straight yellow, but for this brown, you're gonna need a lighter yellow, and if you want to blend it, you're gonna have to use some light brown before you add the yellow though, to make it look natural. The orange should just, like, okay, like, mix it with yellow, and add a bit of that before you add the straight yellow. It'll make it look more natural."

"Oh, okay, yeah, okay, I got this," Sarah laughed. "Thanks."

"Yeah, of course." Herc stood up and looked over at another student. "Jack, have you looked into any animation schools?"

"Laguna College of Art and Design looks really cool, but there's also one up in New Hampshire that I really like," Jack answered, working on an animatic on his iPad, which he uses as a digital art platform.

"Then you should begin getting your portfolio together," Herc suggested. "If any of you need any help or suggestions for your portfolio, I will be happy to help. I like to think I know something about getting into art school since I got into art school, so I will be happy to help out with anything at all."

Sarah giggled. "Mr. Mulligan, I think you have a visitor."

Hercules turned around, then smiled at Lafayette, who was standing there, holding a to-go cup of coffee with a smile on his face. Lafayette would occasionally drop by Herc's work to bring the art teacher some coffee, but that was usually during his lunch break, not during a class. Herc didn't mind though. I mean, these were all art students in the middle of Manhattan, they're all liberals.

"Laf," Herc smiled. "Guys, this is my boyfriend, Lafayette."

"Oh,  _ this  _ is Lafayette," Louisa, another student, teased. "He looks just like your sketches."

Lafayette smiled, kissing Herc's cheek. "I brought you coffee. I figured you would need it since you stayed up so late working on that wedding dress."

"Have you ever tried to sew lace? Also, the bride picked out some cheap as shit fabric, and it frays every time I sewed it, so I had to recut it three inches longer so I could sew it three inches down. People have no taste these days, I..." Herc trailed off, seeing an almost guilty smile on Lafayette's face. "What did you do?"

"Nothing bad, I promise," Lafayette assured him.

"Did you spill something that that dress?" Herc asked exasperatedly. "Please tell me you didn't. I really don't want to restart, and despite John's belief that white is an easy color to clean, stains will not come out of this pure of a white."

"I did not," Lafayette stated. "Just, last time I was here, I saw how used your art supplies looked, and I mean, you obviously have some amazing students here. I can't even draw a circle and these kids are making this amazing art. So, uh..."

Herc's eyebrows raised and he tilted his head. "What did you do, Lafayette? Please tell me you didn't do something that is gonna get me fired. I really don't want to be fired."

Lafayette chuckled. "Uh, guys! Bring em in!"

A few guys who Herc recognized as some of Lafayette's friends walked in with big plastic bins with lids over them. They set them down, then left, Lafayette calling out a few thank yous to them. Hercules and his students all peered at the seven or so bins curiously. Sarah even got up to come a bit closer.

"What's this?" Herc asked slowly.

"Open it," Lafayette suggested.

"Can we?" Jack asked Hercules.

Herc nodded. "If there's something dead in here, Laf, I will literally move out."

"Ooh, you two live together? How scandalous," Louisa chuckled.

"We've been together for about a year, I would hope we live together," Hercules laughed as Jack pulled off the lid for the first bin.

"Whoa!" Jack gasped. "Look at all this paint!"

"Oh my God! It's all Arteza!" Sarah gasped. "Huge bottles of it too! This stuff is so expensive!"

"Open more," Lafayette encouraged.

Louisa opened one and gasped happily at the boxes and boxes of Prisma colored pencils, Copic markers, and Micron fine liners. "Oh my gosh! Look at all this!"

Hercules starred as his students continued to pull out expensive and high-class art supplies. Canvases, big books full of watercolor paper, watercolors, paintbrushes, pencils. It was an art teacher's wet dream. It was an artist's wet dream. Hercules definitely didn't miss the beautiful paints that he was almost itching to use.

"I know, I know, it's a lot," Lafayette sighed. "But you seemed so sad when you found out that the school was using the budget surplus to get new uniforms for the football team, and you just, you were so disappointed that school was starting up and you were still using the same things, and it broke my heart. I always have money saved up for emergencies and this, this was its own emergency, so I just-" Lafayette stopped when he noticed Herc's eyes welling up with tears. "Baby, are you okay?"

Herc nodded and burst into tears.

"Oh, God, baby, don't cry," Lafayette mumbled, wondering what he did wrong. "I'm sorry. I didn't, I didn't mean to make you cry. Please don't cry. It's okay."

"Oh, God, Laf, I love you so much," Herc choked out, tears running down his face. "No one has ever done this for me. Thank you, thank you. Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for crying. I just, I'm so happy, and I love you so much."

"I love you too," Lafayette replied.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry for crying in front of y'all," Herc chuckled, pulling away from Laf and wiping his cheeks. "Okay, I'm okay." Herc couldn't seem to get himself to stop crying. "I'm totally fine. I'm sorry, I just, sometimes I'm emotional, and my son started first grade recently, and my parents went back down to Georgia where they live, and I'm just, oh my God, I'm so emotional right now, and then this guy comes in and does all this stuff and, oh my God, I'm sorry. Just, let me get a hold of myself."

Lafayette chuckled, wrapping his arm around Hercules' waist. "You guys have a great teacher. I mean, he always comes home talking about what one of you have painted, or are working on. Oh, don't get me started on how much research he does on art schools for you guys. It's really hard not to want to help when I hear how hard you all work for your artistic career, so I thought I'd help out a bit."

"Thank you," Jack smiled, looking up from the pencils he was currently examining. "Lord knows the school doesn't give a shit about us."

"Well, I mean, not to be political, but since we are all pretty liberal, yeah, the school doesn't give a shit about us." Herc nodded.

"Well, the dude in charge of schools in New York has never been a teacher or anything like that. Uh, Peggy, she's the representative for New York youth, she's the only one who actively advocates for school art programs. Even Washington refused to raise taxes a bit for Alex's budget plan, which would've provided an extra thirteen billion in the budget," Lafayette explained. "But, it's election season, so if you want to get a word in, I would suggest writing to him and telling him what you, as New York citizens, want."

"Will he listen?" Jack asked.

"I will literally follow him around all day reading them out loud," Lafayette chuckled. "Or, if I was busy, I'm sure Peggy or Alex would. Alex is still kinda pissed about Washington taking Monroe's side for the budget plan."

"We could just overthrow the government and live in a peaceful socialist society where human needs are given without the need of payment," Louisa suggested.

"Yeah, let's just overthrow the government. We have the power to make people disappear," Herc laughed.

"Mr. Mulligan," came a voice.

"Mr. Brewer!" Herc gasped. "Uh, hello! Lafayette, this is my boss, Mr. Brewer. He's the vice principal of the school."

Lafayette remained cool, reaching out and shaking Mr. brewer's hand. "Salut, I am Gilbert De Lafayette, but you can just call me Lafayette."

"And may I ask why you're disturbing this class?" Mr. Brewer questioned, looking Lafayette up and down.

"He bought us art supplies!" Sarah squealed. "Mr. Brewer! Look! It's all the expensive stuff too. Oh, my God, this is so cool, I love this so much."

Mr. Brewer raised an eyebrow at Lafayette. "Oh? Is that so?"

Lafayette nodded. "Well, yes. When I heard my darling Herc would be teaching another year with the same art supplies he's been using since he got there, I felt it was my duty to chip in and help boost this school's art program, since it seemed no one else wanted to."

"And what gives you the authorization to offer these resources?" Mr. Brewer asked.

"Well, you could very easily take them away, but I could also very easily have every newspaper and reporter asking you why you took art resources away from these, frankly amazing students. I forgot to mention, I am an elected official, I work as the head of the immigration division, so I had the money to provide these kids with new art supplies, and I have the stature to make sure they keep it." Lafayette smiled a bit. "But of course, if you would like to explain to the board of education why you took away donated art supplies that were given to you by a government official, by all means, go ahead."

Mr. Brewer offered a tight-lipped smiled. "Well, let's consider this the art programs lucky day, shall we?"

"It's amazing what your students can do when you offer them the proper resources to pursue their passion," Lafayette smiled. "Have a nice day."

"Likewise," Mr. Brewer replied in a low voice, walking out of the room.

Lafayette smiled.

"Damn, Mr. Mulligan, your boyfriend just went all papa bear on Mr. Brewer," Louisa pointed out.

Herc chuckled, looking up at Lafayette. "Yeah, he's pretty great like that, isn't he?"

Lafayette pecked Herc on the lips. "Hey, I do gotta get to work, but here, have your coffee, alright? I love you."

"I love you too," Hercules replied, squeezing Laf's hand gently.

"Hope you guys enjoy the art supplies!" Lafayette called out as he left the room. Lafayette was smiling, twisting the ring on his middle finger as he walked out to the parking lot. He got into his car, smiling as he leaned his head against the steering wheel. He had never felt so in love with anyone in his entire life. Hercules was perfect to him in every single aspect. Lafayette wanted to hold him and never let go because that's how easy it is to be in love with Hercules. He's just, he's amazing.

Lafayette could picture himself years from now, retired, working at the little flower shop, and coming home every day to Hercules, who would, as always, be covered in paint, working on his latest design. Lafayette could see himself lying on the couch with the man, both of them twisting their wedding rings gently as they made fun of sitcoms. Lafayette just wanted to spend the rest of his life by Herc's side, because it was so easy to be with Herc. No one had ever made Lafayette feel so comfortable to just exist. He didn't have to be some fancy politician, some perfect person, not with Herc. Hercules was satisfied with Lafayette just being exactly who he was, and that was beautiful to Lafayette.

Nothing made the French immigrant happier nowadays than getting home to spend time with William and Herc. Nothing made Lafayette smile bigger than the way Herc would talk in his sleep about whatever he was dreaming about. Lafayette's feelings toward the man had not faded, nor had they changed. Lafayette was completely and utterly in love with Herc, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

Lafayette didn't realize he was crying until a tear hit the fabric of his pants. Lafayette sat up, wiping his cheeks as he smiled at the perfect photo of Herc, William, and him that Lafayette had taped to his dash. They were a family. Lafayette had a family, a family that was his, and he loved them with all his heart.

Lafayette pulled out his phone, find Herc's dad's number in his contacts before pressing call. He waited a few seconds before Herc's dad picked up the call with a bit of a grunt.

"Hello? Who is this?" He asked.

"Mr. Mulligan, it is me, Lafayette, your son's boyfriend," Lafayette answered. "I'm calling to inform you that I plan to ask your son to marry me. Since it is modern times though, I'm not calling to ask for your permission, as he is not your property, nor would he be mine if he chooses to say yes. He is strong and independent, and he doesn't need anyone to help him because he can do it just fine himself. That being said, I truly hope he does say yes, but it's his decision, so let it be only his decision since I know you don't like me."

"You cannot just marry my son without my permission," Herc's dad stated.

"I can because it is not your choice if your son marries me. I am black, and just because I am not black enough for you, it doesn't mean that I am not black at all. My mama and my grandmere were pure-blooded Nigerians, just like you. I may never be enough in your eyes, but that's okay, because I'm enough in your son's eyes, and he's the only opinion who matters. I love your son and your grandson with everything in me, and I will do my best to protect them." Lafayette paused. "I have the utmost respect for you, Mr. Mulligan. You raised the man who I have fallen in love with, and I hope you can one day see me for more than just my skin tone, but until then, I will still continue to treat you and your son with respect, because I love your son. I love your son more than I have ever loved anyone in this world. Thank you for speaking with me. Have a good day."

Hercules' dad paused, not really knowing how to reply for a second. "You as well, Lafayette."

Lafayette hung up, then found the number of the ring shop in his contacts. He clicked on it, pressing his phone to his ear until he heard the man pick up. "Hey, Bobby, it's me, Lafayette. Uh, I just want to ask you if you can start creating that ring we designed together? I'll pay you extra if you make it your top priority."

"Hello to you too, Lafayette," Bobby laughed. "Uh, yeah, I can have it done in two weeks with a thirty percent pay increase, alright?"

"Yeah, perfect," Laf stated. "Thank you, that's great. I have a proposal to plan now, but, uh, thank you. Thank you."

"Yeah, of course, Lafayette, I'll see you in a few weeks," Bobby laughed.

Lafayette hung up, smiling wide. "I'm gonna marry him." Lafayette looked down at the picture of Hercules he used as his lock screen. "I love you, Herc."  
  



	21. Family Matters

Alex was speeding down the streets of New York to pick up Phillip. John was in the middle of a class, and Alex had promised to pick Phillip up, then lost track of the time. Normally, the older man would be fine with missing work to pick up Pip, but he needed to get back since the parent and child bill was being taken to court. He wasn't about to tell John that he was running late to pick up Phillip. He was only a few minutes behind schedule, he knew it was going to be fine.

Alex pulled up to Phillip's school, getting out of the car and running to where Phillip was standing. "Hey, buddy, we gotta go, I have snacks and juice boxes and coloring books for you. And the iPad." Alex let Phillip say goodbye to his friends before scooping the boy up. "I need you to hang out at my work for a bit, okay? It's for a meeting, but you can just chill, watch cartoons and color or whatever you want, yeah?"

Phillip nodded as Alex placed him in the booster seat in the back, which Phillip had graduated to over the summer. "What kind of snacks?"

"Goldfish," Alex replied as he got into the driver's seat. "And fruit snacks, and some apple slices. Your papa is working late to help some students, so we'll all get home around the same time."

Phillip nodded and looked out the window.

"How was school?" Alex asked.

"It was fun. During recess, George and I played soccer with William and Beverly," Phillip told Alex. "And then, my teacher played the banjo for us, and read us _Edward_ _Tulane_."

"That book made me cry," Alex stated. "It's a good book though."

"Why did it make you cry?" Phillip asked.

"Uh, because it was very well-written," Alex told Phillip. "And sometimes books can make you cry when they're well-written enough."

"I've never cried from a book." Phillip looked confused.

"Well, you're still young," Alex laughed.

"How many books have you cried from?" Phillip asked.

The third _Hunger_ _Games_ book flashed through Alex's mind. "Too many to count. It's okay to cry though. Books are a good reason to cry."

"My papa cries for movies," Phillip agreed.

Alex chuckled, remembering how John just balled at the end of the movie Bohemian Rhapsody. "Yes, he does."

Alex arrived at the government building just in time for his court session. The room was large, with three long rows of desks on either side. The second row of desks was raised and above the first row, the and third row was above the second row, so you had to walk up some stairs to get to the second or third row. It was ideal so that no one would have to crane to see. At the end of the building opposite from the door, Washington would sit with comptroller George king, and they would listen as cases were made. Each chair had a microphone on the desk space in front of it so that people could speak when they pleased. Alex had been here many times before, and he remembered it as one of the first places he saw John.

"Okay, buddy, can you sit here for a while? I'll be back in a few seconds, I just gotta get sworn in." Alex asked as Phillip got comfortable next to the desk. The kid nodded and Alex walked down to the ground floor area, where his colleagues were lined up to be sworn in on whatever religious book they were choosing. Peggy was currently being sworn in the Quran, and Alex saw that Washington had already gotten out the Talmud for Alex, even though he was a few people away. Since some people in the government were Atheists, they were sworn in on the Constitution of Independence. Alex was sworn in on the Talmud, which was a Jewish text that laid out the primary law and ideology for Judaism.

When Alex was finished being sworn in, he went back up to his seat, laying out his papers. Lafayette was sitting on one side of him, Peggy on the other. Phillip was coloring, and he flinched at the pounding of the gavel.

"Today we will be discussing The Parent And Child bill. Before we start, is there anything that should be put on the record?"

Alex leaned forward to his microphone. "Yes, Governor, may it be put on the record Lafayette and I have prepared a statement that I will be presenting. I’ll take no questions until the end."

"Thank you, Mr. Hamilton," Washington stated. "Now, Mr. Lafayette, you may begin your defense."

The court session continued, Alex and Lafayette vigorously answering questions, and making statements. Alex kept a steady flow of juice boxes and snacks coming to Phillip, but of course, when a kid drinks five juice boxes in the span of an hour, certain things are needed.

"Alex, I gotta go potty," Phillip whispered.

Alex nodded, then looked to Lafayette. "Hey, can you take over for a few minutes? Bathroom break."

"Of course mon frere, you go," Lafayette didn’t look up from his papers. "I got this. But don't leave me alone for too long."

"You got," Alex chuckled, standing up and walking out while holding Phillip's hand. "Buddy, thank you for being so good about this. I know it's probably boring, but one day I'm gonna tell you about this and you're gonna be very impressed that you were here." Alex led Phillip into the bathroom. "You got everything handled?"

Phillip nodded and went into the stall while Alex splashed some cold water onto his face to clear his head. Phillip finished up, coming back into the main area of the bathroom and washing his hands before Alex took him back into the courtroom. It was unusually quiet as Alex sat back down, and it felt like all eyes were on him.

"Mr. Hamilton," Washington began slowly. "Is there another person in the court?"

Alex leaned forward to the microphone. "Let the record show that I am currently supervising my, uh, my stepson. He is six years old, so I do not think that he poses a threat to this court session."

"Mr. Washington, with all due respect, isn't this a closed court session?" James Monroe asked into the microphone.

"This court session is closed, Mr. Hamilton, so if you will allow it, I would like to swear Phillip in, for the sake of the court. Would you and your stepson please come to the floor?" Washington asked, an amused smile on his face.

"Yes, Governor, we can," Alex nodded. "Phillip, we're gonna go swear you in so you can keep hanging out here."

"Like the president?" Phillip asked.

"Yeah, but you are so much smarter," Alex replied, bringing a laugh from Peggy as they walked down to the floor of the courtroom.

"Mr. Hamilton, as the guardian over Phillip Laurens, I would like to ask you which religious text you would like him to be sworn in on," Washington asked.

Alex furrowed his brows and knelt down to Phillip. "Hey, buddy, do you have a religious preference? Like, God or Buddha?"

"Papa says we're socialists," Phillip answered.

Alex chuckled and clicked his tongue. "How convenient. Uh, let's just use the Talmud, like me. You celebrated Passover." Alex looked to the people watching. "I would like it to be put on the record that I'm not forcing my religion onto Phillip Laurens."

"Alright, Phillip, put your left hand on this book and hold up your right hand," Washington instructed.

Phillip giggled as he did so, drawing a few 'aww's from the court.

"Now, repeat after me," Washington started. "I, Phillip Laurens."

Phillip smiled widely. "I, Phillip Laurens."

"God, I hope someone is filming this," Alex muttered.

"Do solemnly swear," Washington continued.

"Do solemnly swear," Phillip echoed, trying his best to hold back a smile and a laugh.

"To keep the information I hear in this room." Washington was also doing his best to hold back a smile, but he was obviously finding this as amusing as everyone else.

Phillip laughed a bit. "To keep the information I hear in this room."

"This is so freaking cute oh my God," Alex murmured. "John would die."

"Between the other members of this court session and myself," Washington finished.

"Between the other members of this court session and myself," Phillip confirmed, nodding his head once for good measure.

Alex smiled and lead Phillip back up to where they were sitting. His phone buzzed a couple of times as he sat down, and he opened it to find that Jefferson, Lafayette, and Peggy had all taken pictures and filmed this. Alex had to silence his phone as John began blowing it up with text messages that mostly consisted of heart eye emojis and keyboard smashes.

The court session went by, Alex and Lafayette mounting a decent defense on why this should not be a decision that only government officials vote on, with others arguing that this was strictly a political matter. At one point, Lafayette stood up and asked how hundreds of people and their children could be labeled simply as a “political matter”.

When the court was out of session, Alex had to go back to the office to drop a few things off and finish up a couple of reports, so Phillip hung out on the couch for another fifteen minutes until Alex had finally finished with all of his work. They grabbed a coffee and some of the taffy in the candy bowl for Phillip, before going downstairs to leave for the day.

"Hey, press warning," the receptionist called out as Alex stepped off the elevator.

"How much?" Alex asked, looking at her.

"What it would’ve been like if you’d actually sent that Tweet where you compare the president to an invasive fungus," The receptionist described. "This is kinda a big deal. You've been talking about it for over a year, and with the election coming up they're not going to be quiet."

Alex groaned, peeking out the windows of the front door where reporters were bombarding Thomas. "I have to leave eventually, don't I?"

The receptionist nodded. "Sorry, hon."

Alex sighed and picked Phillip up, pulling the kid's hood up. "Alright, Pip, I'm gonna give you a warning. This is going to be loud and bright, and your papa really doesn't want the press taking pictures of you, so you think you can just keep your face hidden? Like a superhero?"

Phillip nodded.

"Alright, and you can cover your ears because it's going to be loud, and it's going to be a lot of different things coming out you from different directions, but it'll only be for a moment. Are you ready?" Alex asked.

"I think so," Phillip replied. "It won't be for too long, right?"

"It'll be over before you know it," Alex promised.

"Okay," Phillip agreed Alex. Alex nodded and walked outside, reporters instantly swarming him. Alex kept his hand on the back of Phillip's head to make sure he didn't get knocked around in the process of walking through the sea of reporters. Lights were flashing, and it was almost triggering for Alex, but he had gotten used to it.

"Mr. Hamilton, Mr. Hamilton, please tell us about the progress the bill made in court today," one asked, shoving a microphone in his face.

"I won't be taking questions at this time," Alex responded smoothly.

"Is it true you persuaded Thomas Jefferson to switch sides?" Another asked.

"Mr. Jefferson's political stance is his own. If he has switched sides, it was by his own choice," Alex stated.

"Mr. Hamilton, can you tell us about Gilbert Lafayette's relationship with the man he's been seen with around town?" A reporter yelled.

"Gilbert and I aren't that close, I couldn't if I wanted to," Alex lied.

"Mr. Hamilton, we have photos that directly contradict that statement," the same reporter told Alex. "Could you answer the question."

"I don't see what this has to do with politics," Alex mumbled, pushing through the people. "Please, let me get through and go home."

"Mr. Hamilton, is this your son?"

For once, a reporter's question left him faltering. Alex stared blankly into the camera, trying to process the question. There had been very few times when Alex referred to Phillip as his stepson, and that was only when John wasn't around. Alex was unsure whether he was allowed to refer to Phillip that way. He knew Frances had never gotten the privilege, but then again, Frances was Frances. Instead of answering, Alex just offered a curt nod forward and continued walking through the ocean of reporters until he got to his car. Alex put Phillip in his booster seat, then went into the driver's seat and began to drive, secretly hoping to run over a reporter by accident.

It was all Alex could think about on his way home. Could he just assume he had the go-ahead to call Phillip his stepson? Or should he ask John? Alex had never really been in a situation like this; he had never dated someone who had a kid. Would Phillip even be okay with that? Alex was frazzled, confused, and unsure, which was like, the top three most rare feelings he felt. So, when Alex got home, he helped set Phillip up in the backyard with his coloring book and music, then went into the kitchen, where John was tiredly flipping through a recipe book.

"Hey," John smiled as Alex wrapped his arms around John from the back.

"Mmm. Hi," Alex hummed, resting his head against John's shoulder. He could feel the perfect curvature of John's butt in his lower stomach, and absolutely adored the feeling.

"I literally screamed out loud when Thomas sent me that video, that's how cute it was," John chuckled. "They really swore him in?"

"Yes, because I had to take Pip for a bathroom break, which brought attention to the fact that I had a seven-year-old in the room, and them stupid James Monroe pointed out that this was a closed court session, so Washington decided it would be best to swear him in. So we swore him in on the Talmud, which is a Jewish text that I'm sworn in on. I had to put on record that I'm not forcing religion onto a minor."

John chuckled, turning around and pulling Alex into a kiss. "Well, it was very cute, and I went to Walgreens to print out the pictures so we can hang them up. I can pick em up tomorrow."

Alex smiled and sighed. "I feel so happy right now."

"That’s good," John nodded.

"Hey, uh, I got a question," Alex started, lacing his fingers together with John's.

"Oh? What's that?" John asked.

Alex paused, thinking. "Well, we've been dating for almost a year, right?"

John nodded, absolutely praying that Alex wasn't about to propose. John liked Alex, but he definitely didn't want to get hitched after ten months of dating.

"Well, I mean, I was thinking, because we've been living together, and we sort of becoming a family, I just wanted to ask to make sure you're okay with it because I know you get protective, but would it be okay if I referred to Phillip as my stepson?" Alex bit his lip, looking up.

John's eyebrows shot up. That was not the question he was expecting, so it did kinda throw him off guard a bit. "Uh, I mean, do you want to?"

Alex nodded. "I mean, saying 'my boyfriend's kid' just sounds so removed, and I just, I feel closer to Phillip than that. I love him very much, he's very special, but I know you can get protective of him, so I just wanted to make sure it was okay with you. If not, that's totally cool, I just thought I should ask, just in ca-"

John held up his hand, signaling to Alex that he could stop rambling. "You know, out of every relationship I've been with, you're the first person to say you love Phillip."

Alex was taken aback by this. "What? How could someone not love Phillip? He's like, the greatest kid on earth! Granted, I've met some terrible kids in my lifetime, so Phillip is like a dream, but how could you literally look at that kid and feel anything besides love?"

John smiled and pulled Alex into a kiss. "It means a lot to me that you're taking my feelings into consideration and asking, and it also means a lot to me that you see Phillip as a part of us, not just a tag along. Yes, you have my blessing. You may call Phillip your stepson."

"You seriously dated guys who thought of Phillip as a tag along?" Alex asked, confused.

"I mostly dated them for the money anyway," John shrugged. "Didn't want to be homeless or anything."

Alex pecked John's lips. "Mm, you have not been pampered the way you should have."

"I feel pretty pampered right now," John shrugged, looking around the kitchen. "I'm still barely used to it, the idea that I'm living in a multi-million dollar house with a billionaire who literally controls the city's money."

"Didn't you grow up with money?" Alex asked.

"Just because my dad had money, didn't me he would spend on me and my silly little dance obsession," John pointed out. "I did grow up in a house similar to this. But it was... bigger. I dunno, I kinda just, let that life go when my dad finally cut me off from the family. I truly thought I'd be living in shitty apartments and barely scraping by for the rest of my life."

"Well, I'm pleased to inform you that that will not be the case," Alex chuckled. "Do you ever miss them?"

John nodded. "I miss my siblings. It's been years since I've seen them. Martha is going to MIT next year, so I'll probably get to start seeing her more often. My brother, Henry, he should be sixteen now, coming up on seventeen. Jemmy is like, fourteenish, I think. Oh, and little Mary is now twelve. I got to call my sister for her birthday, which was nice. Uh, yeah, no, it's just, it's hard to get into contact with them. My dad doesn't want them talking to me, I'm a bad influence or something. I was always the black sheep, but I love my siblings more than most things in this life."

"We can have your sister over as much as you want when she starts college," Alex promised.

John pulled out his phone, pulling up a picture of all of them at the lake. "I was about sixteen in this photo, so all of them were pretty young. The kid in my lap? That's Mary, she was around two at the time. This is Jemmy, before his accident. He was going through his ninja turtle phase, as you can tell." John chuckled at the sight of his brother decked out in a full ninja turtle costume even though they were at the lake. "This one right here? That's my brother Henry. He's the one who writes me letters because he's deaf, so he can't really talk on the phone with me. We'd FaceTime if we could, but it is kinda risky. My dad would be pissed if he found out they were in contact with me."

"Do you ever miss your dad?" Alex asked.

John shrugged. "I dunno. I mean, I don't think he liked me very much, but he was still my father. Sometimes I wonder if he would be proud of me now." John sighed and looked outside at Phillip, who was sitting at the table, coloring. "I don't ever want my son to have to wonder that."

Alex pulled John into a deep kiss. "I adore you, John Laurens." Alex ran his thumb over John's cheek, smiling and sighing. "You're so beautiful."

"And so are you," John replied, letting his thumb trail across the scars on the side of Alex's face. "How did you get these?"

"Bomb," Alex answered. "Shrapnel flew at me. Thomas has some similar scars but on his torso. It was a Taliban base where they kept American war prisoners."

"Were you saving them?" John asked.

Alex shrugged. "There was only one in there. He got out before the building blew. Thomas was the only one who noticed the screaming coming from the locked door, and he got them out before shit blew."

"Was everyone okay?" John asked.

Alex nodded. "Yeah, the only people we lost were Taliban, and we weren't exactly complaining. One less Taliban is one more good night's rest."

John chuckled and kissed the side of Alex's head. "Hey, those rain clouds are coming up. Could you go get Pip? I'll start on dinner."

Alex nodded, walking outside to where Pip was sitting and coloring. He smiled, peeking at the picture Phillip was coloring. "Hey, buddy, it looks like it's gonna rain, let's go in."

"Is it gonna rain big?" Phillip asked. "I don't like big thunderstorms. They're scary. Too loud. Too loud."

Alex pulled out his phone, opening the weather app and checking. "Well, it looks like it's gonna storm for a while, so it might be a little loud, but we can sit in the living room and watch movies and drink hot chocolate. We have a big strong house, so nothing is gonna come in."

"Okay," Phillip nodded, getting up and collecting his crayons. The two of them walked in as storm clouds moved in quickly. The wind was picking up, so Alex went outside to pull his car into the garage, somehow navigating it through the three other cars. He hadn't really driven them in a long time and felt like he should probably sell them. Not the Lamborghini though, that had always been his dream car, so there was no reason to sell it when just the very thought of it brought him joy.

He jumped at the weather alert, his phone buzzing. He pulled it out and saw a minor storm warning, talk of high winds and heavy rains. Alex groaned. He absolutely despised storms. Not in a fearful way, more in an annoyed way. They were bothersome, and never left anything good in their wake. Alex was grateful he’d parked in the garage though because he knew if something flew through the air, it could scratch up his paint job.

"You get the storm warning?" Alex asked John, who was cooking grilled cheese.

"Yeah. We should make a blanket fort in the living room," John suggested.

"Yeah!" Phillip gasped, smiling wide.

"God, I haven't made a blanket fort in..." Alex thought for a second. "God, it's been years. I think I was like, five."

"Well, you, my friend, are missing out, because it's the best thing ever," John chuckled.

So that's what the family did. The blanket fort was large enough for the three of them to sit there and watch movies on Alex's laptop. Phillip jumped every time thunder rolled through the house, covering his ears, but John would run his fingers through the kid's hair, and pause the movie until Phillip was calmed down. That night, John later explained to Alex that Phillip had always been sensitive to textures, sounds, and other stimuli, which was why they didn't often take the subway, and restaurants were generally a no-go. Alex had noticed that and was happy to hear John's take on it, which was to just not put Phillip in situations with loud noises. Alex was happy to fall asleep in John's arms, smelling the new and different scent that had taken over his house since John and Phillip had moved in. It smelled like home.

-

Phillip had a panic attack at school, which was how John ended up in the counselor's office while his son played with the toys in the background. The counselor, a soft looking woman named Ms. Robinson, sat across from John. The school had said that they wanted to bring him in for a meeting with Phillip's counselor to talk about what had happened. John felt absolutely terrible that Phillip had had a panic attack, and had practically squeezed his son to death when he arrived at the school

"Mr. Laurens-"

"Please, call me John. Mr. Laurens was my father," John offered.

Ms. Robinson smiled. "John, as you know, Phillip had a panic attack today. Has he had any panic attacks before?"

John thought for a second. "I think he's had anxiety attacks, and I've noticed that he gets anxious in certain situations, but I don't think he's ever had a panic attack before."

Ms. Robinson nodded. "I asked Phillip what made him feel like this, and he said that his classroom had gotten too loud. Has he had a sensitivity to sound his whole life or sometime recently?"

John nodded. "I think it's been pretty much his whole life. He can handle it for a little bit, but eventually, Phillip can’t handle it anymore.”

"I can’t handle what?" Phillip asked, looking up.

"Loud noises, sweetie," John answered, before looking to Ms. Robinson. "I'm sorry, can we include him in this conversation? I just think it might help to get his perspective too."

Ms. Robinson nodded. "Phillip, hon, would you like to come to sit next to your dad?"

Phillip nodded, standing up and seating himself in the chair next to John. "What're we talking about?"

"Well, sweetie, you know how you had a big moment where you felt really scared and you couldn't breath because of all the loud noises?" Ms. Robinson started. She continued when Phillip nodded. "Well, that was called a panic attack, and most kids your age don’t get them, so your dad and I are talking about what happened."

"Oh, okay," Phillip smiled.

"John, do you have a history of mental illness of any type in your family?" Ms. Robinson asked.

John nodded.

"And what about his mother?" Ms. Robinson continued.

"Oh, I don't have a mom," Phillip answered. "Papa says I was made by mitosis, so that's why I don't have a mommy like George."

John subtly shook his head, knowing that Martha really didn't have much mental illness in her family.

Ms. Robinson raised an eyebrow but continued. "John, what type of mental illness does your family have?"

John laughed bitterly. "What don't we have? Uh, my sister had down syndrome, my brother was born deaf, my aunt was autistic. Uh, we don't really have any addiction that I know of, but I did use to have seizures. I'm sorry, that's a lot of information."

"No, no, it's the kind of information I'm looking for," Ms. Robinson chuckled. "So you grew up around many non-neurotypicals."

John nodded. "Yes. My brother Jem was in a car accident, so he had brain damage, and since I was the oldest, I ended up taking care of my siblings a lot."

"Well it sounds like you’re staying on top of Phillip’s anxiety," Ms. Robinson informed John.

John smiled and ruffled Phillip's head. "I love you, buddy."

Phillip beamed up at John.

"Phillip and I played a board game together and I asked him some questions about what he likes, what he dislikes, things like that, and I noticed something." Ms. Robinson looked down at her clipboard. "John, your son shows some signs of being on the autism spectrum. Lack of eye contact, irritation from certain stimuli, trouble paying attention in class, trouble making friends, except for George Eaker, William Mulligan, Beverly Hemings, and Payne Madison. Have you met any of these children?"

John nodded. "Yes, actually. Phillip grew up around everyone except George, and George was in his kindergarten class last year."

"George is my best friend, next to Theo," Phillip stated.

"Theo?" Ms. Robinson asked.

"Theo is my boyfriend's friend's daughter, they live in Philly," John explained. "Phillip and Theo have played together on several occasions, and her family is looking into houses in the New York area since her papa recently got out of the military and they don't have to live in military housing anymore."

"Really?" Phillip asked.

John nodded. "That's right buddy, so you and Theo can have more playdates."

Ms. Robinson smiled. "John, could you tell me a bit about Phillip's home life?"

"Uh, we live in a house a bit farther uptown, near Central Park. We've been living there with my boyfriend for about a year now, and Phillip likes it uptown. It’s quiet uptown. I don't think we've ever lived somewhere quiet before," John chuckled. "Before that? We jumped around a lot. I dropped out of college to raise him, since he was born when I was about twenty, and uh, we had some money troubles for a while, but the guy I'm with now, he's got a really stable job that pays really well, so that's cool."

Ms. Robinson nodded. "Indeed, it is. John, do you know much about autism?"

John nodded. "I do. My mother was a special ed tutor, and most of my young life my only friends were her students. I have definitely wondered if Phillip has autism, but after this, I will probably go get him tested."

"Yes, and the school can create a plan that best suits Phillip's needs, whether that be a smaller, quieter classroom environment, quieter places to spend times like lunch, recess, among other things. As he gets older and his education becomes more and more relevant, we can also create a plan, if Phillip even needs it, for extra time or resources." Ms. Robinson got out some papers. "Phillip is a very intelligent child, and his teacher informed me that Phillip excels in his work. I would be incredibly proud of him if I were you."

"I'm always proud of my son," John smiled. "But I'm very glad to hear he's not falling behind. Is he struggling with any particular subjects?"

Ms. Robinson nodded. "He doesn't seem to enjoy math, but that’s common in kids Phillip’s age. I wouldn't worry too much since it is only September. The first quarter of a new school is the hardest, which is why most six graders and high school freshmen struggle when they first arrive."

"I never did too well in math either. I'm more of a music and arts type of guy," John chuckled.

"I would like to refer you to Dr. Max Goodwin. He's a very good doctor who specializes in children with autism. He is a wonderful doctor, and will advocate for making Phillip's life easier, not just fixing whatever issues he has," Ms. Robinson stated, handing John a card.

"I blame the vaccinations," John remarked sarcastically.

Ms. Robinson laughed. "Speaking of vaccinations, I would like to remind you that flu season is coming up, and this year is supposed to be very bad."

"Yes, thank you, I'll get right on that. My boyfriend refused to get his flu shot last year because he's scared of needles, but I'll get him to get it this year," John chuckled. "Is that all?"

Ms. Robinson nodded. "Yep. Thank you for coming in today, and feel free to come in any time to check up on Phillip's school progress and what not." She smiled at Phillip. "And remember, you, young man, are always welcome in my office whenever it gets too loud. Just tell your teacher and you can come here for a while."

"Thank you, Ms. Robinson," Phillip smiled, taking John's hand as they walked out.

"Are you okay, buddy? I know panic attacks are scary," John stated, knowing that he had nursed Alex back from more than one, and they didn't exactly seem fun.

Phillip nodded. "I felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest, and I thought I was going to faint. It was scary."

John nodded. "I bet it was. How about we relax tonight, what do you want to do?"

"I want to clean," Phillip stated.

John raised his eyebrows. "You want to clean?"

"Clean sheets are a good texture, and dirty sheets aren't," Phillip informed John.

John chuckled. "Yeah, it’s time we wash our bedding. Alex is working on his campaigning, so it'll be a you-and-me thing, yeah?"

Phillip nodded, smiling. "Yay!"

John chuckled as they continued walking back home. It was a quick walk since Phillip's school was only a walk through central park to get home, which John really liked. He and Phillip moved snails off the sidewalk into the grass, and then even a worm, which Phillip was too afraid to touch. John was very used to bugs, even spiders, so none of this bothered him. When he was ten, he used to collect bugs in jars and carry them around all day so they could see what it was like to be human.

John and Phillip got home and they were greeted with the sight of the dining room, which had somehow be turned into a bigger mess than Alex's office. Papers were scattered all along the six-foot table, a whiteboard had been hung on the wall, Alex and a women John hadn’t met were looking over papers. Alex's hair was a mess, and he seemed almost frustrated as he looked through some papers.

"Hey, dear," John smiled, walking into the living room.

"John, perfect, have you seen a paper that has basically the whole rundown of what I said during my election speech last year? It would have bullet points on it, and then I some notes on it in bright red pen." Alex ran his hand through his hair, flipping over a piece of paper. "Son of a biscuit, that's not it."

John glanced around the room, then bent down and picked up a piece of paper that had fallen under a chair. "Is this it?"

Alex took it from John's hands, then punched his fist in the air, smiling big. "Yes! Thank you!" Alex wrapped his arms around John's neck and kissed him. "Thank you, we've been looking for it for the past fifteen minutes."

"Who is we?" John asked, looking at the women who was distracting herself with some papers.

"John, John, this is my campaign manager, Katie. Katie, this is John, my boyfriend," Alex introduced. "Katie has been kind enough to help me for the third election in a row, which is good because I don't think I could win without her."

"Give yourself a bit more credit, you've got all that charm, Alexander," Katie chuckled, placing her hand on Alex's arm.

John cocked an eyebrow. "Well, if you two need coffee or dinner or something, just ask. Alex, dear, Phillip and I are gonna do a little cleaning, so don't worry about us."

"I would never," Alex chuckled.

John smiled and pulled Alex into another kiss. "Good to know. Well, I'll see you whenever I do. Come to bed tonight, promise? I get lonely without you."

"Promise," Alex nodded, then kneeled down to Phillip's level. "Hey buddy, how was school?"

"My counselor says I have autism," Phillip stated.

"Your counselor says you should get tested," John corrected. "Phillip had a bit of a panic attack at school today, and we looked at a couple of other behavioral things, and then decided it's best if he gets tested. I'm gonna make an appointment tomorrow."

"Panic attacks are scary," Alex commented. "You alright, Pip?"

Phillip nodded. "Papa and I saved snails."

Alex grinned and fist bumped Phillip. "That's awesome dude."

"Alright, Pip, let's let Alex and Karen do their thing," John chuckled, picking Phillip up.

"It's Katie," the woman corrected.

"Alrighty," John replied, smiling a bit.

Alex cocked an eyebrow, giving John a look that basically screamed 'what on earth was that about?' John ignored it, walking out of the room with Phillip, making their way upstairs to the rooms.

"I don't like that lady," Phillip stated. "She looks sick."

"How’s that?" John asked, chuckling.

"Didn't you see how white she looked?" Phillip asked.

John laughed, trying not to be too loud as he finally made it to the third floor with Phillip. "No, buddy, she's just very pale. It's normal for some people. Okay, let's strip your bed of its sheets. Do you have any dirty clothes?"

Phillip nodded, pulling over his laundry basket. Phillip had always kept his space exceptionally clean, even when he and John were living in a studio apartment together. Phillip was extremely organized for a six-year-old, which John found odd since he’d been the messiest kid in the world. John wasn't complaining though. It was great that he never had to give the 'go clean your room' lecture.

"It might be time to get you new sheets soon," John decided. "You've had these ones for a while."

"What would happen to the old sheets?" Phillip asked.

"Uh, we'd probably throw them away or something," John mumbled, peeling back Phillip's blankets and taking the cover off of the comforter. John paused when he saw Phillip's almost distraught face, then quickly thought about his brother Jemmy's need to hold onto some specific items. "We wouldn't have to get rid of all of it though. We could cut a square out to keep in your memory box or something. You can think about it though, and we don't have to do anything until you're ready."

Phillip nodded. "Okay. Thank you, Papa."

John nodded, smiling as he put Phillip's blankets into the basket. "Of course, buddy. What do you want to do while we wait for the laundry to be done? It should take about twenty minutes. We could watch cartoons or-"

"I wanna cook," Phillip stated.

"Like, watch me cook or..." John trailed off.

"I wanna make food," Phillip smiled. "Pasta."

"Pasta sounds good," John agreed while the two of them walked to the laundry room, which was back on the bottom floor. "Red sauce or white sauce with it?"

"Red," Phillip answered.

"Okay, we can do that," John agreed. "I'll tell Alex and his friend, you wait in the kitchen."

Phillip nodded and John walked to the dining room, where Alex and Katie were still working. John got there just in time to see Katie complimenting Alex on an idea and placing her hand gently on his thigh, which boiled John's blood. John had to remind himself that she probably wasn't flirting. Maybe she was just friendly, or not even swinging Alex's direction.

"Hey, darling," John smiled, walking over and hugging Alex from behind. "I’m making pasta for dinner."

"Pasta sounds perfect," Alex replied, turning his head to give John a fat kiss on the cheek. "Katie, you want any?"

"Sure," Katie replied.

John nodded, kissing Alex's cheek one more time. "Alright, it should be done soon. Fair warning; chef Phillip is assisting."

Alex chuckled, kissing John's lips. "I'm sure it'll be amazing. I'm sorry I'm working so much, but it's election season and all. I won't even be working this hard to campaign the whole time, just right now, for about a week or so, then things will calm down."

"I get it, babe," John nodded. "I'll be able to manage a week without your undivided attention. At least I hope I will"

"Oh, are you sure?" Alex asked. "Because I can drop out of the race."

"Nah, you're too important to this government," John stated. "And besides, if you dropped out, I couldn't say that my boyfriend is the leader of the budget division for the state of New York."

"Yeah, that does have a ring to it," Alex laughed. "As much as I would love to talk to you longer, I have a strategy to plan."

John pouted, before kissing Alex's cheek one more time. "Dinner will be done soon. You have my adoration, Alexander."

"And you have mine," Alex replied as John left the room.

"Okay, well, with a basic statement of campaign promises, I think it's time we go over what you want your commercial to look like," Katie started, pulling out a fresh sheet of paper and a pen. "Remember, no idea is a bad idea. Your main statement last time?"

"That I was not a meth addict, and I didn't do opium, despite what John Adams' may say. I was mostly clearing up rumors, but the only rumors I have going around about me this year are that I'm dating that dude, and as you can tell, that's true. Uh, maybe we could focus on my future aspects of wanting to be mayor?"

"No, because then the people will see you as someone who is desperate to rise above their station." Katie pointed out.

Alex sat back and groaned. "Okay, how about we... I dunno, have puppies in the commercial? People like dogs."

"Do you like dogs? Do you even have a dog?" Katie asked.

"I could get a dog," Alex replied. "Wait, I'm in a relationship, I have to ask about these things." Alex leaned back, turning his head a bit. "John, Phillip, do you guys want a dog?"

"Yes!" Phillip yelled.

"A pit bull!" John replied.

"Wow, that was a lot of enthusiasm." Alex chuckled a bit. "Okay, so we're gonna get a dog, I guess."

"Do any of you know anything about pet care?" Katie asked.

"I do!" John called out. "I had a dog through a lot of my childhood. His name was Sparky."

"Okay, so I guess you're getting a dog. What should the commercial be?' Katie asked.

"Okay, roll with me here. Scene starts. I'm walking my dog down the street, speaking to... who am I speaking to? Barack Obama. Yes, I'm speaking to Barack Obama. We're talking about cheap health care and free... free books for... lower class kids of color. Suddenly, Obama is leaning in, we're kissing. A bald eagle rests on my shoulder, cawing gentle as Obama caresses my face. End scene."

"I cannot get any of that to happen," Katie deadpanned.

"You did say no idea was a bad idea," Alex chuckled, leaning back and pointing his pen at her. "Besides, I think I could get Obama to kiss me."

"Alright, Alex, you done dreaming?" Katie asked. "Come on, we gotta get a script down by the end of the week."

"Okay, yes, real ideas." Alex stood up and went to the whiteboard on the wall. "Okay, I want to reiterate my advocacy for lower class people, veterans, things like that." Alex wrote down 'advocacy' in big letters, Katie writing down what he meant by that since she'd been helping him campaign long enough to know that he had the memory of a goldfish. Alex thought for a second. "Uh, what else do I have? Great hair, yes. Great hair." Alex wrote that down too. "What else do I have Katie? What parts of me are beautiful?" Alex struck a vain pose.

"Everything, Alex," Katie smirked.

"Yes, I am very pleasant to look at," Alex agreed. "What do I have? Do I present raw emotion?"

"No," Katie replied. "I mean, I'm sure you do sometimes, but scripted? No."

"Well we need something," Alex groaned, sitting on the table. "So far we have great hair and, wait, advocacy? What did I write that down for?"

"Your advocacy of lower class people, veterans, and, quote on quote, 'things like that.' I think we should really try to reiterate your experience, you pulling New York out of a financial crisis, and let's not forget your immersion into a community that consists of more than rich white politicians. Your immigration status is a blessing and a curse. With lower class to middle class, citizens of color, that could be a great thing to bring up, but with the people who really hold the power, I wouldn't suggest talking about it."

"Okay, maybe I do a little door to door campaigning in immigrant-dense neighborhoods, sit down and talk to them about what they think the city's money should be contributed to," Alex mumbled, writing down a vague version of the idea, unaware of how much Katie saved his ass when it came to note-taking.

Katie leaned back, thinking. "Okay, say things. Sometimes when you start talking it gets my brain thinking. Just, spew out some bullshit that you think would be a valid reason to elect you, it might help."

"I know three and a half languages," Alex started. "So I can explain my whole campaign in Spanish and then people who don't know Spanish will have to read the English subtitles, so it sucks to be them. I also have good legs. I mean, they aren't great, but like, they carry me places, and I can run."

"Good  _ leg _ ," Katie pointed out.

"Good leg and a  _ half _ ," Alex snorted. "Ooh, I could just beat my opponents with-"

"You're incredible debate skills?" Katie asked, ruffling through some papers on the table.

"I was gonna say my prosthetic, but that's a better idea," Alex nodded. "I love it when we campaign. My two brain cells plus yours million make a killer team. When I run for governor, I want you on my team."

"Do you see governor as a goal you are actively working towards? Because I'm not going to sign onto this if you bail out and I have to go a whole election season without payment," Katie stated. "I'll help, but I want a real promise, not a vague estimate."

"No, this is happening. It's been happening," Alex stated. "I actually have some campaign ideas for it, if you want to look at them."

"Oh, actually that would be really-" Katie cut herself off. "No, we gotta focus on this one. When you get reelected you can email me your ideas and I'll spend some time on them, looking them over. I want full sentences though, Alex, not just a vague word, and no pictures this time! What am I supposed to interpret a picture of a beet as?"

"Uh, love for our agriculturalists? What else?" Alex asked.

"I don't know how you have a boyfriend," Katie groaned, putting her head down on the table. "You are literally impossible to understand."

"I am not!" Alex gasped, falling back on the table and crumbling some papers. "I am the easiest person in the world to understand."

Katie grabbed a piece of paper and crumpled it up, throwing it at Alex's face. "People like you litter the streets of hell!"

"You just threw my birth certificate at me!" Alex exclaimed, uncrumpling the paper. "I don't think this is the original copy, so we're good."

"Does it have a coffee stain on it?" Katie asked.

"Yes," Alex nodded.

"Then it is the original," Katie stated.

"Oh, shoot," Alex mumbled, getting on his knees, still on the table, and beginning to flatten it out. "God, every year, something happens to this thing."

"Your first campaign, you almost shredded it," Katie snorted.

Alex looked at the uneven side where they have to cut off the shred marks. "Yeah, I definitely did that. Okay, tell me, do you think my elaborate war stories would play well on TV?"

"How elaborate?" Katie replied, leaning over the table to grab Alex's citizenship forms. "Because sometimes those are good, but sometimes not. Gimme an... Alex, are you still capable of deportation?"

"I don't know," Alex shrugged. "I'm a naturalized US citizen, so I don't think so?"

"Okay, hold on, you got married three weeks before your green card expired," Katie started. "Was this a green card marriage?"

"It was, but she didn't know," Alex stated. "So if she asked about it now, she would... Oh, shit."

"Shit, what?" Katie asked.

"We met up a while back, and I let it slip that I married her for the green card," Alex mumbled quietly.

"Alex!" Katie shrieked.

"I didn't mean to!" Alex shot back, running his hand through his hand as he sat back on his knees, still on the table. "It's not like I actually read that document!"

"Okay, we need to keep your immigration status under the fucking radar for this election," Katie sighed. "Look, if someone brings up the marriage, the green card, what are you gonna say? Think, Alex."

"I had been dating my wife for about two years already, and we decided that it was worth it to just get married instead of going through the trouble of renewing my green card," Alex spat out.

"Good, now just make that sound natural, rehearse it," Katie stated. "And if worse comes to worst..."

"John!" Alex called out.

John peeked his head into the dining room. "Wassup?"

"Would you marry me?"

John took a quick step back, eyes wide. "What?"

"No, no, not right now, he means in case he gets deported," Katie assured John.

"What the hell?" John gasped. "I thought you were a citizen!"

"I am but I could be deported if Eliza spills the beans about me marrying her for a green card, so I would marry you for a green card. If not, that's okay. I could just elope with Abby, our neighbor," Alex mused.

"So you would marry me only if you needed a green card," John grinned.

"No, no, I wouldn't just marry you for a green card, but marriage is a big step, and I mean, I'm not saying I wouldn't marry you, but I'm also saying that I want to be with you a little longer. Not that you aren't marriage material, I just-"

Katie cut Alex off. "Breath, Alex. Don't contradict yourself. Restart."

Alex nodded, taking a deep breath. "The subject of marriage between us is one that is undiscussed and I will make a bold statement to say that both of us are hoping to put more time into the relationship before we discuss it more."

"There we go, you just won your first debate," Katie smiled, clapping her hands a bit.

"I don't think it was a debate," John pointed out.

"Oh, honey, everything is a debate," Katie laughed. "Just because people agree, doesn't mean they aren't debating. I don't think Alex could argue without me."

"I can argue no matter what, you were just the one who taught me how to argue correctly," Alex contradicted, sighing as he sat cross-legged on the table. "Okay, so, we should probably put my birth certificate in a safe place. I don't want to make an irreversible mistake this year and finally, lose it. It's my only copy."

"Jesus, Alex," John muttered, smiling to himself as he walked back into the kitchen.

"He's cute," Katie commented, looking back to Alex. "Why'd he settle for you?"

"You can eat shit," Alex retorted. "We met over a year ago now, and it's just been going pretty great. You know everything is pretty cool. And he has a child, so like, even cooler because I'm a stepdad now."

"You don't act like a stepdad," Katie pointed out, spinning her pen.

Alex perked up, looking up from the papers in front of him. "How are stepdads supposed to act? Am I doing it wrong?"

"I dunno, you just don't give off that stepdad energy. Real dad? Sure. No dad? We all know that's true. Just, not stepdad."

Alex pressed his lips together. "Well, I mean, I am a stepdad."

"You should adopt the kid if this relationship goes farther. It would suit you better," Katie stated. "Okay, okay, who do we really wanna focus on this year? We can't do everything, so we just gotta figure one out."

"Uh, I dunno," Alex shrugged.

Katie got up on the table with Alex, ruffling through some papers. "Every election we stay organized for the first couple of hours, and then this happens. I swear to God, it's like politics took a big shit in the middle of your dining room."

"Oh, hey, here's a script," Alex muttered. He read over it, then began laughing. "Oh, my God, you actually wrote it."

"Wrote what?" Katie asked, her eyes wide.

"My commercial but it's My Little Pony themed!" Alex laughed with delight.

Katie gasped, reaching forward for the script. "Alexander!"

Alex leaned back on the table, laughing and holding it out of her reach. "No! I want to read it! Come on, please?"

Katie pushed Alex down on the table, beginning to climb over him so she could get the script. Alex laughed, squirming to keep his arm around of reach while she dug her knee into his leg to get him to stop moving. Alex was cackling, trying to keep the script out of her reach while she persisted to grab it back.

"Dinner is..." John trailed off, seeing the scene in front of him. "Ready."

"Hold up, I just gotta-" Katie snatched the script from Alex's hands. "Ha!"

"Butthead," Alex accused. "She made a whole My Little Pony themed script for the last election, but she won't even let me read it."

"Well, we've gotta focus on the script for this election, and the fact that you have a younger opponent who connects with rich white millennials," Katie huffed, getting down from the table. "The food smells amazing."

John offered a tight-lipped smile as Alex pushed the papers off the table and onto the floor. John almost cringed at that, seeing as they became splayed out across the hardwood flooring, but set down the four plates regardless. Well, he set down two, Phillip set down the other two.

"Okay, let's try not to do anything to the papers in that pile because I have my only physical copy of my birth certificate, the documents that state I'm allowed to be here, and a whole bunch of other important things," Alex chuckled, sitting down. “This looks good."

"Me and my papa made it!" Phillip smiled.

"Even better," Alex nodded, picking up his fork and taking a bite. "God, I'm sorry I have been neglecting you two, but I promise, only about a week of being this busy, then another week of being a little less busy, and then it'll be a pretty steady busy until I'm re-elected."

"Confidence is key," Katie smiled, pointing at Alex. "Holy wow, this food is really good."

"How was your day?" Alex asked John.

John shrugged, taking a bite. "Not bad. Working on a dance with a class, and I might have to take on some more students if we lose our other contemporary ballet teacher, which means more money, but larger classes, and longer hours. How about you?"

"Well, my car and my office are full of 'Vote Hamilton to get the job done' posters, and I think I'm starting to speak in my politician's voice all the time, but you know, other than that, great," Alex chuckled. "Pip, how was your day?"

"It was long. I did get to nap in the nurse's office, and then Ms. Robinson and I played board games and talked about what I like to do," Phillip smiled.

"That's awesome, I wish I had a nurses office to nap in. My couch is covered in campaigning signs now." Alex chuckled.

"Well, who ordered five hundred instead of fifty?" Katie asked.

Alex laughed, taking another bite. "I did. But think, now everywhere we go, people will see my face. Hamilton, Hamilton, Hamilton."

"Alex, sweetie, you're kind of forgetting that that's already the case," Katie laughed. "I mean, I can't pick up a newspaper without seeing your name. Much less a Tabloid."

"Don't tell me you read tabloids now," Alex groaned.

"I've always read tabloids. They go through phases of what they like to write about. This election season, they're really focused on weight, and like, overall health. And editing people to make them look like skeletons. So don't get skinny," Katie told Alex. "Also, would it be possible at all to start sleeping more?"

"Absolutely not," Alex replied, taking another bite.

Dinner went by, all of them making conversation. John continued to clean the house, vacuuming and sweeping after Phillip went to bed with his clean sheets. John dusted, cleaned up the kitchen, did the dishes, and Alex and Katie were still working on the campaign. John got that it was kind of a big deal, but he didn't like how close Alex and Katie seemed to be. They had their own inside jokes, and John felt a little left out.

John finally turned in, his body a bit sore from the cleaning. He knew he had to work tomorrow, and he really needed to get some sleep, but he had gotten really used to Alex being next to him, so John found himself tossing and turning for several hours, scrolling through his phone, trying to get to sleep, but failing.

Finally, around midnight, Alex stumbled into the room, still laughing about something. John huffed a bit, really over and facing the wall as Alex got changed into his pajamas and took off his leg, joining John. Maybe it was petty and childish for John to be upset about practically nothing, but he felt jealous, and he acted childish when he was jealous. Katie was too physical with Alex, and John didn't like that. He just didn't.

"Hey," Alex mumbled softly.

“Mm.”

"You okay?" Alex asked.

John hummed again, not really offering an answer.

Alex sighed, laying there for a second, then sat up, turning on the lamp. "Alright, come on, let's talk about it."

"About what?" John asked, playing dumb.

"I don't know, what are you upset about?" Alex replied. "I've lived with you long enough to know what you're like when you're upset, and I’m too used to sleeping in your arms to sleep without you, so come on, talk to me."

John rolled over and pushed himself up a bit, slightly groggy. “Katie touches you too much. I don't like it."

"Wait, why don't you..." Alex trailed off, then gasped. "Are you jealous?"

John groaned, resting his head on Alex's stomach. "Whatever."

"Aw, John, honey, you don't have to be jealous," Alex chuckled, scooting down a bit so John's head was resting on the older man's shoulder. "I promise. I know she's touchy, but she's not flirting. She's just like that. I thought she was flirting at first, but I promise, she’s just really physical with everyone."

John groaned, leaning up and kissing Alex's neck. "You’re mine."

Alex reached around, grabbing a handful of John's ass. "Of course."

John smiled, beginning to suck a mark on Alex's neck. "I adore you."

Alex sighed, running his fingers through John's hand with his other hand. John pushed himself on top of Alex, beginning to nip and suck Alex's neck with more vigor. John knew he had to be up for work in several fleeting hours, but the feeling of Alex moving under him was so much better than sleep. Alex let out a moan, squeezing John's ass harder and accidentally jutting his hips upwards. John ground down on Alex’s bulge, still sucking at the man’s neck. Alex wrapped a leg around John’s hips, trying to release some of the pressure between his legs.

"John, honey, don't you get up for work soon?" Alex asked, breathless.

"Mm-hm," John murmured into Alex’s neck, grabbing Alex's thigh and squeezing it.

"Come on, baby, I want you to get at least a little bit of sleep before you go to that god awful job that you insist on staying at." Alex gasped as John bit his neck a bit harder, adding some final touches to a hickey. "Come on, John, you need to sleep."

John sighed, chuckling a bit, and slid off of Alex, pulling the older man closer to him. “Fine.”

Alex woke up at six, as usual, groaning when he realized John, was no longer next to him. Alex pushed himself up, putting covers over his stump before finally getting on his leg, standing up and leaning on it for a second until he heard a click, before walking to the bathroom to shower. It wasn't a particularly long shower, but it was nice. After that, Alex began getting dressed, making sure his sleeves were nicely rolled up to his elbows, then making his way downstairs to his kitchen, where Katie was already up, drinking coffee and making food.

"Themes," Alex muttered as he sat down. "We figured out statements last night, and now we need a theme."

"Breakfast," Katie answered.

"That’s a terrible theme," Alex protested, sipping his coffee. "Although we could shoot the commercial in a breakfast joint, I never go to those places though, they make me feel nauseous. Except for the time, John, Phillip, and I all went to Denny's at ten at night after seeing a movie."

"No, eat breakfast," Katie clarified, setting an omelet down in front of Alex.

"I never eat breakfast," Alex muttered, opening his newspaper to check the stocks.

"Well, now you do," Katie insisted. "If I'm living at your house for a week, then I'm making sure you eat a damn meal three times a day. Now, breakfast." Katie stopped, looking at Alex, then quickly pulled down his collar. "Is that a hickey?"

"Yup," Alex nodded. "’Cause I'm sexually active with my boyfriend."

Katie groaned. "I'm going to have to cover this up before you leave the house."

"Cover what up?" John asked, coming into the kitchen.

"John, good morning, I made you an omelet," Katie smiled. "Also, just until Alex gets reelected, can you put hickeys where the press can't see? I mean, I’m super proud Alex is finally having sex again, lord knows he needed it, but we do have a campaign to run." Katie ran her hand through her hair. "Alex, take a picture of your breakfast and put it on your public Snapchat or something, just to prove you eat and breathe like a normal person."

Alex rolled his eyes and smiled, taking out his phone and opening Snapchat. "My campaign manager makes me breakfast, and it's the only reason I keep hiring her back every election."

"You couldn't win without me," Katie smiled.

"Yeah, yeah, that too," Alex nodded, ending the video and posting it. "Okay, themes. Now that I've taken a bite, we can talk about themes."

"You could show off your new family to the media," Katie suggested.

"I'm gonna object to that one for the sake of my son's privacy," John stuck out.

"I'm with John," Alex nodded. "Phillip's privacy is more important than winning. What else?"

"I don't know," Katie answered. "Immigration is out of the question due to your slip up with your ex, you don't have a financial crisis, and you certainly can't do what you did last year since there are no longer and drug addiction rumors going around about you."

"Who even does opium anymore?" Alex muttered.

"He’s a veteran," John pointed out.

Katie looked at John. "Keep going."

"Uh, maybe you could put some focus on Alex's military experience. Keep it away from his personal life, focus more on the fact that he fought against the Taliban for a decade. That could go over well with the old white men who yell the n-word at their TV, maybe get a few extra votes from people who wouldn't have originally voted for him," John continued, shrugging a bit and looking down at his food.

Katie nodded, smiling. "Yes, I like that. I really like that. Alex, what do you think?"

"Yeah, that could work really well actually, and I know a hell of a lot of vets who could be in the commercial with me. Maybe it would be an excuse for my buddy Aaron to get up here."

"Great!" Katie smiled. "We have a theme! John, thank you for not making us pull our hair out all day. I mean, last time was easy, because Alex was making a lot of bad decisions, but this year is even easier!" Katie took a bite of the omelet she finished for herself. "Alex, I like this one. He's better than the other chick."

"She had a name," Alex scoffed.

"What was it?" Katie asked.

"Touché."

Katie smiled and stretched her back. "Okay, Hamiltons, listen up. You got some assignments."

"My last name is Laurens," John informed her.

"Figured I might as well get used to calling you both 'Hamilton' anyway since Alex might need a green card marriage," Katie smiled. "John, your assignment is finding places to give Alex hickeys that he can cover. So, basically anywhere but his neck, since Alex always wears lots of clothes in public. Also, is the dog thing still on the table?"

Alex and John looked at each other and nodded.

"Alright, tonight, you three, yes, Phillip too, are going to pick out a dog while I find a camera crew, write up a rough draft for a script, and sort out the other details. Before you get a dog, I want you to go out and have a nice meal or something. Spend some family time together or whatever you people do. Remember, you can't give a dog grapes, onions, chocolate, or macadamia nuts. My girl, Gertie, once ate an entire bag of macadamia nuts. The poor girl was shaking, depressed, and moody for three days." Katie chuckled. "She was fine though."

"I can walk the dog in the morning," Alex offered. "Ooh, wait, maybe I could start running again. I've been meaning to get back into shape, and Thomas has been hounding me to go to the gym with him."

"I can walk it in the evening, with Phillip," John stated. "And we have a big backyard."

"We'll have to clean up the dog shit," Alex pointed out.

"I can do it," John offered. "I did it most of my childhood."

"Perfect, so we're getting a dog today," Alex nodded.

John chuckled, taking another bite of his food. "Yes, we are."

-

John laughed as puppies nipped at his fingers. They were in a big yard at a no-kill shelter, picking out a dog. Phillip was running around and playing with some puppies, while others climbed all over John, making the young father laugh. Alex was just taking photos, vowing to set one as his new screensaver.

"Alex, look at this one, he's so cute!" John squealed, holding up a fat puppy. "Oh, but so it this one! They're all so amazing!"

"They are," Alex agreed.

"Papa!" Phillip called out. "Look!"

Alex almost jumped when he looked over at Phillip. This small kid was hugging this huge, buff, brown-furred grey-eyed pitbull, who was just panting and offering a little smile. It looked like a strong dog, very sweet to let Phillip just play on him, kissing his face and squishing the jiggly extra skin around. The dog was missing an ear, and a patch of its face had no fur thanks to scar tissue. Alex couldn't help but bring his hand up to his face, thinking.

"That's Basil," an employee said, smiling. "He was pulled out of a dog fighting ring when he was a puppy, and he's really sweet. Not violent at all."

"I love him," John smiled, coming over and kneeling next to the dog, laughing as the dog licked his face. "Oh my gosh! He's so cute! Basil, you big sweet boy. You're just a baby, aren't you? A sweet little baby! Alex, come here."

Alex smiled, walking over to the dog Phillip and John were doting over. "Do we like this one?"

"We love him!" Phillip squealed. "Can we get him?"

"Please?" John asked. "Pretty please?"

Alex smiled, rubbing the dog's head and chuckling as Basil licked his hand. "You know what? Basil seems pretty perfect."

"Yay!" John cheered.

"Okay, you two stay here and bond with him, I'll go sign some things and pay, and then Basil, you will officially have a new home," Alex smiled, scratching the dog's head one more time. "Welcome to the family."

"Puppy," John smiled, kissing Basil's face.

"Big puppy," Alex nodded.

Alex went to sign some things, pay, and do a little bit of self-promotion, the coming back out to find John and Phillip still loving on Basil. Alex had brought the new collar and dog leash from the car. It was similar to the collars the war dogs would wear, and the leash was the same fashion. They took Basil's dog tags off the collar he was wearing and put it on his new one. Basil was squirming around in the car, giving kisses to everyone as much as he could. Phillip laughed as Basil licked his face, and John spent the whole car ride turned so he could see the back seat, petting Basil.

The three arrived him, taking Basil straight into the house so the dog could explore. Basil was started sniffing everything, but John quickly shooed him into the back yard, bringing a small questioning look from Alex.

"Male dogs mark their territory when they're somewhere new. I'd rather him pee all over our back yard than our house," John explained. "My dog Sparky peed in the house when I first got him, and my dad was pissed, so I learned to take dogs in and out whenever they want."

"We should put in a dog door," Alex smiled as he watched Phillip run outside to go play with Basil through the glass door.

John leaned his head on Alex's shoulder. "It's like we're a normal family. A kid playing in the backyard with a dog, parents watching and talking."

Alex laughed a bit, watching Phillip throw one of the new tennis balls they bought for Basil. "Family. I like that word. Never thought I'd use it in relation to myself, but you know, I like it. My family."

John chuckled and kissed Alex's cheek. "Get used to it, mister, because I don't think Phillip and I are going anywhere anytime soon."

Alex sighed contently, watching Basil and Phillip. "I'm okay with that."

  
  



	22. It's really been a year since that first gala, huh

John and Alex were lying in bed together around six in the morning, talking quietly while Basil lay curled up at their feet. The dog had taken to sleeping at the foot of their bed, getting off every now and then to go outside through the dog door that had been installed in the back door. It was Friday morning, the day before the big November gala to congratulated those who’d won their elections. The government staff was going to be seeing a few new faces, a few younger and more tolerable people who Alex liked much better. John Adams had lost, and it’d been a  _ very _ happy day when Alex found out he’d won his election and Adams had lost.

The month of October had flown by. Phillip was officially diagnosed with acute autism, a plan was made around his school needs, and John made sure everything at home was good. John's birthday came and went, and John complained that he was getting too close to his thirties, while Alex, who was balls deep in his thirties, tried to assure him that it wasn't all that bad. Their one year anniversary had passed too, which was celebrated with a few adult activities that required the kitchen to be wiped down  _ thoroughly _ afterward. Overall, life was wonderful. They were happy.

Basil let out a small and playful growl as he stood up on the bed, coming over to lie between Alex and John. Alex laughed, kissing the top of the pit bull’s head and offering a little scratch on the dog's back. "I'm sorry, Basil, do you feel ignored?"

"I think he wants something," John joked.

"Do you wanna... take a nap?" Alex asked, using his baby voice.

Basil began wagging his tail, planting a wet kiss on Alex's cheek.

"Do you want to go for a run?" Alex asked, smiling.

Basil jumped with excitement, offering a happy bark and sticking his butt in the air, wagging his tail and licking Alex's face.

"Aw, who's a good boy?" John asked. "Who's a good boy? Who's my favorite boy? Alex put your hand down."

Alex laughed, scratching Basil's head. "Okay, I’m going to take this dude running. You got work today? You did have that recital last night, so are there classes today or…?"

John shook his head. "No, not really. I have a few errands I need to run, pick up a few things at the store, which I'll probably do after I drop Phillip off. Do you need to go to work today?"

Alex pouted as he sat up. "I do, unfortunately, but..."

"But..." John smiled.

"If you want to come to hang out with me for a little bit, lounge on my couch, keep me distracted, I wouldn't mind that," Alex smiled. "As long as you bring coffee."

John chuckled, watching Alex get his leg on as Basil got more excited for the run. "That sounds nice. I'll bring coffee for the two of us, black medium roast still, right?"

"Always," Alex chuckled, pulling on a shirt and some running shorts. "You wanna come running with me?"

"Mm, you know, Alex, I totally would, but-" John buried his face in the pillow, pulling the blankets over him. "I was really looking forward to the extra hour I have before I have to wake up, so I could sleep for another hour. You look good in your running stuff though, so maybe we can slip in a quickie before I have to wake the little giblet up."

Alex chuckled, grabbing his phone and earbuds. "Alright, John, if you aren't passed out by the time I get back, I'll give you head."

John mumbled an affirmative, already half asleep.

Alex just smiled, leaning in and gently and kissing John's head before going downstairs with Basil, downing a protein shake, and slipping on his shoes to begin his run. The two cars were parked out front. Alex's SUV and the used Subaru John bought. It was in really good shape, and Alex sometimes checked under the hood, to make sure John hadn't used any duct tape or paper clips to keep the car together. John had bought it so he wouldn't have to rely on Alex whenever he needed a ride, and now that Phillip’s school started later, everyone's schedules were off, so John just bought a car.

Alex went for his run, Basil getting his first bit of exercise for the day. Alex had never had a dog before, but he was really enjoying it. Basil was really cute and really sweet. Also, whenever Alex would have a bad dream, not only was it John, gently rubbing his back and whispering comforting things but Basil too, bumping Alex's hands with his head. Basil was a really well-behaved dog, they’d really lucked out. Plus, it was kinda cool to have a big intimidating dog while walking around town, it made Alex feel tougher, like when he was young.

Alex got back from the run, sweat staining his chest and the back of his shirt. He let Basil off the leash as they got in the house and the dog ran for his water bowl, lapping at it while Alex prepared Basil's breakfast.

"Sit," Alex commanded to Basil. When the dog sat, Alex slowly placed the bowl down, then put his hand over the bowl. "Stay." Alex gave the dog a firm look as Basil whined, wagging his tail, but stayed, even when Alex moved his hand. Finally, Alex smiled. "Okay!"

Basil leaped forward and began scarfing down the food, wagging his tail.

Alex scratched the dog's butt, starting the coffee machine and heading upstairs to shower and get the sweat off of him. It was a quick, cool shower, and Alex toweled off before walking into his room, where Basil now rested with a conked out John, who was snoring. Alex chuckled, getting dressed and shaking John awake. The younger man groaned, then sat up, sighing.

"So no head?" John asked.

"Come on, coffee is probably done," Alex laughed.

John got up, changing into some jeans and a tee shirt. Alex sighed at the way John struggled a bit to pull the jeans over his ass. It was hot, the way John's bubble butt popped out like that. Alex had been teased for how much he enjoyed John's ass, but Alex knew they had no idea what they were talking about.

"Huh," John mumbled, looking into the mirror.

"What?" Alex asked.

John stood back a bit, chewing his lip. "My thigh gap is gone. It's been years since I haven't had a thigh gap."

Alex paused in his actions, then slowly came over and placed his arms around John's torso, resting his cheek against John's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

John thought for a second, then nodded slowly. "Just, it's a little weird. I never thought it would go. I thought I'd just stay skinny."

"Well it's not like you're fat," Alex assured him. "As someone who has their head between your thighs at least four times a week, let me tell you, it is all muscle down there. Plus, you have skinny hips, I don't really think there's a healthy way for you to have a thigh gap."

John places his hands over Alex's. "It's just... weird."

Alex kissed John's shoulder. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

John turned away from the mirror and pulled Alex into a hug. "Just, just stay with me for a second. Just like this."

Alex nodded, running his hands up and down John's back. "You're gonna eat today, right babe? I just want to make sure."

John nodded. "Yeah, I am. Just gotta shake it off. That's not who I am anymore. I'm a working father with a kick-ass boyfriend and a great job, and goddammit, I'm gonna take care of myself!"

"Hell yeah, you are!" Alex cheered.

"Mm, gimme a kiss," John smiled.

Alex leaned up and planted a gentle kiss on John's lips. "I adore you, John Laurens." Alex pecked John's lips again. "Adore you, adore you, adore you."

John chuckled. "Come on, I gotta wake Pip up, and then breakfast, and then you go to work, I drop Phillip off at school, and then pick up some groceries, drop off the books we don't read anymore at the literary center, and then I gotta drop off Maria's wallet at her place since she left it here last night. Then I'll come home, drop off the groceries, go for another walk with Basil, and then I'll show up at your work around eleven? Will that be good?"

"That will be great," Alex nodded. "Does Phillip still fit his suit for tomorrow or should we get him another one?"

"Uh, well, not really," John answered. "When I pick Phillip up, I'm just gonna run by the door and get him some dress pants and a dress shirt with a little bow tie. There's no point in buying him a fancy suit if he's just going to grow out of it every year."

"That is true," Alex nodded. "Okay, second to last gala until I'm the governor."

"When you're the governor, can we skip them?" John asked, tying up his hair.

"When I'm the governor, we're all just gonna hold the gala at an art museum so there's more for people to do that just argue about politics," Alex stated. "Like argue about art."

"You're gonna be the best governor," John smiled, pecking Alex's forehead.

"I don't think I'll ever live up to Washington, but yeah, I think I'll be pretty okay."

The morning went by, John doing what he needed to, Alex making it to work on time and trying to get some work done before the expected time of John's arrival. Since he had only been back in office for a total of seven days, he thoroughly needed to fulfill some campaign promises, so he worked on that for a couple of hours until his phone rang.

"John Laurens here to see you," his receptionist sang.

"Thank you, could you send him up?" Alex responded.

"Sure thing, Alex," the receptionist responded.

Alex smiled and sat back, twirling his pen as he waited for John to walk through his office door. In the time, Alex quickly adjusted his hair, straightened his tie, and cleaned up his desk a little bit. John walked in just as Alex signed off on something, putting it in his outbox so he'd be reminded to take it down to Washington's office.

"Hello, beautiful," Alex smiled.

John set down Alex's coffee on the older man's desk, then leaned against it, sipping his own hazelnut brew. "Hey there, dear. How's your day been so far?"

"Eh," Alex shrugged. "I missed you."

John chuckled. "I told Maria I was going to hang out with you while you were at work, and she said we were addicts."

"Out of all the things I've been addicted to, you give the best head," Alex chuckled.

"Oh? Really? I give the best head?" John asked, smiling a bit.

Alex nodded. "You do."

John tilted his head to the side. "Are we sure? Because I mean, I really don't think that's a good statement to make if you don't know my exact skill of giving head at this very moment."

"Is this because I told you I had a sex at work fantasy while we were high a few nights ago?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow.

John shrugged, sinking to his knees in front of Alex. "Quite possibly."

Alex looked around his office, thinking for a second of how they could do this without getting caught. "Get under my desk so no one sees you."

John complied, scooting on his knees under Alex's desk and pulling his chair a bit closer. John gently kissed the inside of Alex's thighs while Alex opened his laptop to seem busy. John kissed the fabric covering Alex's crotch, before carefully unzipping his pants. Alex's once soft dick was beginning to feel blood flow as John's mouthed the outline through his boxers. Alex let out a quiet moan as John pulled down the man's boxers and took his cock in his mouth. Alex shuttered, tangling his fingers in John's long hair and pushing him down a bit.

"If you cum in my mouth, I will spit it out on your nice carpet," John murmured.

"Noted," Alex groaned, bowing his head a bit as he pushed John farther down on his cock. "Shit, ah, John," Alex gasped as John began to play with his balls. It was hot, Alex couldn't deny it. People walking past his office, unknowing of the fact that he was getting sucked off. Alex had always had a bit of a thing for inappropriate places for fornication. It was hot. It was even hotter to look down and see John, lips pursed around his dick, looking back up. "God, shit, Please." A knock at the door startled Alex, and the older man put both hands above the desk so there was no suspicion. "Come in!"

Washington and Thomas came through the door, Thomas holding some files, Washington with his laptop. Washington was the first to sit down across from Alex, smiling at the ex-ranger unknowingly. "Alex, we need your help. Thomas is proposing a remodeling of the current homeless shelter, but we would need to find the funding to do it."

"Oh?" Alex choked out, feeling John's tongue flick across his tip, then slowly lick up the entirety of his dick, almost torturously slow.

"Yes, are you well?" Washington asked.

Alex nodded, beginning to pull up the city's money and budget. "Yes, of course, just have a bit of a tickle in my throat. Okay, so, a remodel of the homeless shelter? Do you have a rough idea of what it would cost, Thomas?"

"Yes, here are the estimated numbers I pulled up through a basic calculation. I ran the numbers over with our comptroller, George King, and he said they were mostly accurate. Now, I know we always have an extra fund, and I was wondering if we could accurately fulfill this need and still have money for other issues throughout the year." Thomas pushed the file towards Alex.

Alex coughed as John gently sucked on his tip. "Uh, well, it would take up most of our emergency fund for the time until next November, but I know a solution."

"What do you propose?" Washington asked.

"Well, sir, correct me if I'm wrong, but you're not running again after this term?" Alex started, swallowing hard as John's nose brushed the hair around his base and the younger man's through closed around his dick.

"I am not," Washington nodded.

"Well, if, and this is an if, if we had an emergency, we could always raise liquor and tobacco taxes," Alex started. "See, if we raised it by two percent, with our average liquor and tobacco sales, we could easily make up the money we-" Alex cringed when John's accidentally bit down from Alex's movement. "Lost. Now, before you  _ bite my head off,  _ just think about what the money could be going to."

"Well, people won't care what it's going to," Washington pointed out.

"Well that's not our problem," Alex shot back. "Frankly, the homeless shelter is overdue for remodeling, and people need to just pay their fucking taxes. I don't care if the alcoholic white men get angry at me for raising liquor taxes, because we have a duty to serve our people and not just the ones who can afford to live here. Have you ever been homeless in this state?"

"Ranger, I do believe you're letting your personal beliefs interfere with work," Washington stated.

"My personal beliefs?" Alex paused, swallowing hard and feeling John offer a comforting pat on his thigh. "You're right. It is my personal belief that people should have a place to sleep at night no matter what."

"Alex is right," Thomas stated. "Frankly, this is long overdue, and sir, you have the power, you have the will. When have Alex and I ever agreed on anything ever?"

Washington paused, thinking. "Alright. Frankly, I have no campaigning left to do, and I know that regardless of the people's opinion of me, it's not going to matter when I'm retired, so sure. Let's do this."

Alex leaned back, smiling and seeing the thumbs up John was giving him as he bobbed his head. Alex coughed a bit as he felt himself get closer, then leaned forward. "Great, so what we need to do now is figure out exactly what we need. The tax raise will only happen if we have another emergency like the homeless shelter, and-" Alex cut himself off with another cough as he felt the impending orgasm grow and grow. He knew he was a mere second away from finishing, but was trying to keep his calm demeanor. "And we can very easily uh-" It hit Alex like a train. He didn't expect it to come too fast and hard, and it threw him off so much he couldn't even cover the sound with a cough. "Fuck," Alex moaned quietly, shuddering as he finished, his head down. "Shit."

Washington raised an eyebrow, leaning back and smiling a bit. "Hi, John."

John peeked his head up from under the desk, his mouth full of come. He offered a small wave, smiling a bit, then looked to Alex expectantly.

"Oh, shit, sorry," Alex muttered, grabbing his little trash can and handing it to John.

John spit out Alex's come, rinsing his mouth out with coffee before looking to Washington and Jefferson. "As someone who's spent a fair amount of nights in that shelter, it really does need a remodel. It would be great if it had blankets and maybe a washing machine."

Thomas nodded, writing that down.

-

It was Saturday afternoon, and everyone was getting ready for the gala. Alex was preparing his arguments, while John and Phillip were preparing emotionally with pizza rolls and cartoons. John and Phillip didn't want to go, but Phillip would be happy with the ice cream he was promised afterward, and John would be happy with the head he was promised afterward.

"So we did it last year," Phillip started. "But we have to do it all again."

"We do," John nodded.

"Why?" Phillip asked.

John sighed, looking over at Phillip. "I don't know. You wanna paint your nails? We can do matching colors, or whatever."

"Can we do yellow? Both of us?" Phillip asked.

"I love the color yellow," John nodded, standing up. "You stay here, I'll get the nail polish."

Phillip smiled. "Okay, papa."

John went upstairs, getting some yellow nail polish. Maria had forced upon the family a mass amount of nail polish that she didn't want anymore, so now the family had enough nail polish for the rest of their lives. Alex had already made a few appearances at work with some blue nails with pink sparkles on them. As much as he would blame it on having a kid in the house, he did secretly like the way they looked. He didn't want to admit it, but Peggy showing him acrylic nails had made him want to try them out, just for the clickety-click.

"Okay, there was a couple of shades of yellow, so I grabbed them all," John chuckled, coming back into the living room.

"Yellow? Shades? Are we painting nails?" Alex asked, peeking his head in.

"We are," John nodded.

Alex smiled, wiggling his shoulders a bit. "Can I join you two?"

"Family polish!" John cheered.

Basil came waddling in the room, getting up on the couch next to Phillip and wagging his tail while John got some old newspaper to lay out on the coffee table so they wouldn't get any polish on the wood. Alex sat on the floor, surveying the yellow colors with the others.

"I want this one!" Phillip stated, holding up a nice golden yellow.

"I like that one too. Alex?" John looked over at the older man, asking for an opinion.

"It's perfect," Alex nodded, chuckling a bit.

John got to work, painting Phillip's nails first. John had gotten very good at painting nails thanks to having two sisters, his female best friend, and his baby mama. Martha always needed John to paint her left hand since she was left-handed, and John got really good at it, even figuring out how to wipe off extra paint with a Q-tip and some nail polish remover.

"Okay, Pip, let those dry. Alex, get your butt over here," John smiled, scooting over so his boyfriend could sit next to him. John got to work, painting Alex's nails, making them look nice. It was hard to focus when John could tell that Alex was staring at him. "What?" John asked. "What are you looking at?"

"You," Alex answered, smiling a bit.

"Why?" John asked, still looking down to paint Alex's nails.

Alex leaned forward and gently kissed John's forehead, sighing. "Because you're cute."

John bit his lip, trying to hold back a smile as he continued painting Alex's nails. "You're gonna make me mess up your nails."

"Worth it," Alex smiled.

When John finished Alex's nails, he did his right hand, then somehow managed to do his left hand all by himself, only messing up a bit. The family sat on the couch, all of them blowing on their nails and waving their hands in the air while Into The Spiderverse played on TV. Phillip liked the movie so much, that they ended up just buying it on DVD.

John laid back between Alex's legs about halfway through the movie, the back of his head against Alex's chest. Phillip, not wanting to be left out, laid down on John's chest, making John smile as he played with his son's hair.

"Do you guys know how to use chopsticks?" Alex asked out of nowhere.

"Oh yes," John replied in a snooty voice. "Phillip, have the butler get the chopsticks from the hot air balloon along with the health insurance."

Phillip giggled.

Alex paused. "Do you guys have health insurance?"

John snorted. "You hear this, Phillip? Asking if we can use chopsticks if we have health insurance. He thinks we're rich."

Phillip giggled.

"Hold on, you guys seriously don't have health insurance?" Alex asked. "Like, at all?"

"Alex, I hate to break it to you, but the last time I had insurance was..." John thought for a second. "I'm twenty-seven now, so I haven't had insurance in eight years. Phillip has never had insurance. If we ever get injured or something, we go to Bellevue hospital, because they're a public hospital who treats everyone."

"You guys need to get insurance," Alex stated, pulling out his phone.

"I couldn't even get it if I wanted to," John chuckled. "Phillip could, but ever since Trump fu- _ messed _ up Obama's health insurance laws, insurance companies can deny people health insurance due to pre-existing health conditions. Once I was booted from my family insurance, it was over for me. Phillip could get insurance though. I swear the sickest the kid has ever gotten was, like, a head cold."

"Wait, why can't you get on insurance? You seem pretty healthy," Alex stated.

"I had a seizure disorder as a kid," John explained. "It went away by some miracle, probably the fact that I started eating again, but yeah, most insurance companies don't like that."

"Wait, hold on, you had a seizure disorder and you still refer to yourself as the only able-bodied kid in your family?" Alex asked.

John nodded. "It wasn't that bad, and it wasn't that often. Sometimes it just happened."

"What's a seizure?" Phillip asked.

"It's when there would be an electrical disturbance in my brain and I would pass out or something like that," John explained. "It doesn't happen anymore though."

"Isn't this kind of like, a big deal? Like what if you're in the hospital and a doctor asks me about any pre-existing conditions you have?" Alex asked.

"Relax, I haven't had one in over a decade," John chuckled. "It was mostly because I had very low levels of sodium in my blood because I only ate unsalted rice cakes, almonds, and orange juice for about four years."

"Do you have any other pre-existing conditions?" Alex asked. "Either of you?"

"Uh, Phillip is allergic to fish and amoxicillin, I get seizures when I have no sodium in my blood, that’s about it," John told Alex. "What about you?"

"Chronic pain, PTSD, you know all of it," Alex pointed out.

John nodded, finding Alex's hand with his own and gripping it gently. "I love this movie."

"Me too," Phillip agreed. "Miles looks like me."

John smiled, kissing the top of Phillip's head. "He does, buddy." A sigh escaped the young father as he stared at the screen, listening to Peter B Parker's monologue about how it was a leap of faith. "So, we one hundred percent  _ have  _ to go to this thing, correct?"

"My first priority as Governor will be to make them better," Alex promised.

"Thank God, and with better food," John requested. "Like, pizza."

Alex chuckled a bit, squeezing his thighs around John's waist a bit just to show a bit more affection. "You know, sometimes I genuinely wonder who is the actual child here. Phillip, what would you like at the galas when I'm governor? What kind of food?"

"Jackfruit," Phillip answered plainly.

"Alright, guess we have a menu," Alex mumbled, smiling lightly and closing his eyes. "Maybe after the gala we can go to Denny's and get pancakes."

"Mm, pancakes," John sighed.

-

A few hours passed and finally John, Alex, and Phillip were in the car, driving towards the celebration hall. Tyler, The Creator was playing through the sound system, John was singing along with the music and Phillip was dancing while Alex watched, entertained. John looked especially elegant, wearing his suit, rapping lazily to the music.

"Twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty vision. Cupid hit me, Cupid hit me with precision. I wonder if you look both ways when you cross my mind. Can I get a kiss? And can you make it last forever? I'm about to go to war, and I don't know if Imma see you again," John sang, smiling and gripping Alex's hand.

"So pretty," Alex commented, glancing over at John as he slowed to a stop at a red light. "So, maybe we can bolt out of here early? I usually like arguing, but we have a lot of new faces that I agree with, and all they do is kiss my ass, and I really just, it gets old. Don't get me wrong, it's nice that the government is getting more liberal-democratic, but it gets really old when all they do is just fan my ego. I just, I know my worth, I don’t need them to tell me. I know people have more liberal views than me, but that's just the way I am."

"The way you are?" John asked.

"I do have some centrist views sometimes, and even republican views. Like, let's take, for instance, the matter of birth control. Do I think it should be accessible? Yes. Do I think you should just pick it up from any corner store? No," Alex stated.

"Why so?" John asked curiously. "And hold on, what type of birth control are you talking about? Because there are a couple of types."

"Okay, condoms and Plan B? Yes, pick that up wherever," Alex started. "But the pill? I think you should need a prescription, and I think you should have to see a doctor to get it. Here's why: First of all, it can seriously mess with a woman's hormone levels if it's the incorrect dosage. I mean, Angie had to get hers lowered because it was too high and she was throwing up almost every morning."

"Well, you know doctors don't actually test you for how much you need," John pointed out. "What's the difference?"

"The difference is that it's now on your medical records, now your doctor is in the loop about this, and they have a basic idea of who should get what. I mean, a young fourteen-year-old girl shouldn't get the same amount at a thirty-year-old woman, because they have different types of bodies," Alex explained.

"But doctors appointments are expensive," John pointed out.

"Yes, they are, and that's a whole other thing that I can go off about, but I think Planned Parenthood is a good low-price resource. It's where Angie went," Alex stated. "I don't think it should be difficult to get birth control, and I don't think people should have to jump through a million hoops to get it, I just think it's important for your medical records so show that you are on birth control, and it's important to be able to call your doctor and tell them that you need a lower or high prescription. I know women have different reasons for using birth control, and it’s often times the difference between being home and being in a hospital waiting room, but I still believe that it is important for a medical professional to be weighing in on the decision."

"Well, what about abortion?" John asked. "What do you think about that?"

"My opinion on abortion doesn't matter as a government official. No matter what the law says, we'll never outlaw abortion, we'll outlaw safe abortion, so regardless of my opinion, women should have access to safe abortion in a medical clinic with sterilized tools and trained professionals." Alex paused, licking his lips. "If we're being fully honest here, I don't agree with abortion. I don't think it's right, but I'm not going to yell at women and tell them they're killing an innocent life. I’m not a woman, so I’ll never get to make that decision. I don't think I will ever agree with abortion, but I will agree with the safety of women, no matter who they are and what they want. Does that make sense?"

John nodded slowly. "I can respect that."

Alex leaned back a bit. "As a government official, I think it's my job to push my personal opinion aside and look at the scientific side of it. There was a time where I actively spoke out against abortion, but I was educated, and I was shown that regardless of what I say, what the law says, women will still get abortions, but the government can have control over whether they're safe or not. I'd rather have my citizens be safe that align with my morals."

"Man, I wish everyone was like you," John laughed.

"Government was ruined when people started bringing their own opinions into it," Alex scoffed. "I align with the democratic side because the Democratic side is more often built upon science and facts. I mean, if I could write up a list of requirements for the presidency, it would be a certain IQ, a college degree in something more than politics or law; a science minor at least. People need to understand that opinions don't stand for jack shit when it comes to the wellbeing of this country. We need to build our laws, our policies, and our bills based on scientific evidence and rock solid results, not just the opinions of old white men. Look at statistics, facts, studies. I don't see why opinions should matter at all."

"That was hot," John stated.

"What?" Alex asked, laughing.

"Just, you, being all educated and stuff, saying things that are like, actually really accurate and correct," John chuckled. "You get really passionate and excited, and you obviously care about what you're saying."

"You know, I always thought I could be president," Alex chuckled. "Back before the harsh reality of my immigration status hit me in the head. Then, when Obama got elected, I thought this country wouldn't need me to be president, because we were going in the right direction. Then, when Trump got elected, I started hating the immigrant ban from the presidency even more. At least I can still challenge him to a duel, even if it gets me in trouble."

John laughed as Alex pulled in front of the celebration hall. "Alright, let's do this."

"Don't leave me this time without telling me," Alex requested, pouting as they got out.

"I won't, but I'm not gonna wait hours for you to be done with your conversation," John sighed, getting Phillip out.

"John, babe, this is gonna be a whole different energy than last year, I promise," Alex stated. "We got like, a bunch of people coming up from different states, most of them way more important than me. A few senators, and then if you've ever wanted to meet Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, now would be the time."

"Wow, I can't believe I'm meeting a real live queen," John gasped.

Alex nodded, sighing. "She's going to be the only one I actually tolerate in here."

They walked through the door and John instantly tensed. Lots of people, lots of voices. He felt Phillip squeeze his hand, so he squeezed back comfortingly. They had already had the talk about what to do if he gets overwhelmed, but there was no way John was leaving Phillip's side for the night.

"There's Peggy, and there's my girl," Alex smiled, pulling John and Phillip through the people. "Alexandria! What're you doing all the way up here? DC isn't going to fix itself."

"Alexander, I knew I recognized your name on the invite list," Alexandria chuckled, embracing Alex. "My namesake and my political best friend is here. How are you?"

"I am doing great, AC. This is my boyfriend, John Laurens, and his son, Phillip Laurens," Alex introduced, stepping aside so John could shake AC's hand.

"I love you," John blurted out, staring at her with wide eyes. Instantly, his face flushed and he looked down, laughing a bit. "Sorry, just, never thought I'd get to meet you, and I see you on TV and in my Twitter feed a lot, and I just, I really like that we finally have someone like you down in DC, and I'm probably rambling a lot. It's just, it's nice to meet you."

"You know, John, that was probably one of the nicest things someone has said to me since I entered office," AC laughed, shaking John's hand. "And this is your son?"

John nodded, picking Phillip up. "He's six, going on seven though. Phillip, say hi."

"Hi," Phillip mumbled shyly.

Alexandria waved, smiling gently at Phillip. "Have you two lived your whole lives in New York? Or have you moved up recently?"

"I moved up about ten years ago," John stated. "Phillip was born here though, in Bellevue hospital, just down the street."

"New York is gonna make you tough, little man," AC smiled.

Phillip smiled.

"Oh, AC, okay, did you hear about Trump's latest headline?" Alex asked, laughing.

"Which one?" Alexandria laughed.

Alex and AC dove into a conversation and Peggy jerked her head towards the food and drink table, saving John from listening to this. John followed Peggy, smiling as he picked up some white wine and set Phillip down. There wasn't sushi this year, but some very dry looking cheese and crackers.

"Every year," Peggy muttered. "They never have good food here."

"So it's not just them trying to get rid of the socialist?" John joked, sipping the wine.

Peggy laughed, crossing her arms. "Well, Monroe is always in charge of these things, and my theory is that he doesn't eat, he thrives off of the souls of the dead. Like a virus."

John snorted, handing Phillip a cheese cube before taking one for himself and popping it in his mouth. "I don't know why Alex insists on coming here."

"It's because he gets to see people he usually doesn't get to see." Peggy nodded back over at Alex, who was talking enthusiastically with Alexandria. "He definitely loves talking politics, and I think he really enjoys talking politics with people who match him intellectually. AC, Thomas, Angie, and hell, even his ex, Jay. He just, he really got into those conversations. Alex has a real passion for politics, more than he lets on. If he couldn't write, he'd talk our ears off, more than he already does."

John smiled. "Yeah, no, he was definitely talking a lot in the car about politics."

Peggy looked at John. "Sally's doing well in law school."

John offered a bright smile, pushing a few curls behind his ear. "Oh? Yeah, she texted me, telling me she's been busy, but we always catch up at work."

Peggy scoffed. "I told her she should quit that job. It's wearing her out. I don't know how you do it, John."

John sighed, shaking his head a bit. "Me neither, Peggy. I've been doing it for a while though, so my body had gotten used to the lack of sleep. I just, I kinda am able to function like that, and so is Sally."

"I need a solid nine hours, or I'm just, I'm not even alive," Peggy laughed. "Alex gets like, I don't actually know. Has Alex been sleeping lately?"

"During his campaign, I usually had to drag him to bed, but he's back to normal now," John explained.

"When he was married to my sister, I don't think he ever slept," Peggy laughed, adjusting her hijab. "They'd fight whenever they were over, and then she'd lock him out of the room, so he and I would watch Dr. Who together until I passed out."

"What did you think of him when you first met him?" John asked. "Like, as your sister's husband and all."

Peggy shrugged. "I asked him how he put up with Eliza and her bullshit, and then he looked at me, laughed, and told me he didn't know. Alex and I were friends from the very beginning because I was like, fourteen when they got married and I was the loneliest in the house, so Alex and I began fast friends." Peggy let out a small sigh. "He's always had a lonely soul, John. No one will ever truly know Alex because he doesn't let anyone catch him in those in-between moments where everything else is stripped away and it's just him."

"I think everyone has a third face," John stated.

Peggy cocked an eyebrow. "Third face?"

"It's an old Japanese theory I think," John started. "Everyone has three faces. The first face is the one you show to the world, the second face is the one you show to the people you trust, and the third face is the one you keep to yourself."

"Going off of that logic, no one really knows anyone," Peggy pointed out.

"And isn't that the beauty of it?" John smiled. "Sometimes it's nice to keep parts of your soul just for you. I know I keep certain things to myself because I don't want to share those pieces of me."

Peggy nodded slowly. "Yes, I suppose that makes sense."

"Hey guys," Alex smiled, walking over and taking his place next to Phillip. "Alexandria got pulled into a conversation about Congress, and I am not high enough on the hierarchy to be taken seriously on that, so I thought I'd join you two."

"John was just enlightening me on the different faces of mankind," Peggy smirked.

"Oh, the Japanese three face theory," Alex chuckled. "Did an essay on that in my AP psych class back in high school.

John sipped his wine, smiling. "Yeah, I uh, I heard about it from a book and I figured it made a lot of sense."

"Oh, Alex, what are you doing for your birthday this year? Last year you totally ditched everyone," Peggy stated, gently knocking Alex's shoulder.

Alex shrugged. "I dunno, probably lock myself in my office and eat ramen while doing work."

"So you’re going back to college?" Peggy asked.

"Ugh, I wanna go back and get my Master's degree in poli-science, but I wouldn't have time I don't think," Alex mumbled. "Between work and home life, I don't know when I'd do it."

"Just do it online. My sister Martha, that's what she's doing for her first year in college. She was originally just going to take time off, but she got so antsy over the summer that she enrolled in online school for the first year." John smiled, shaking his shoulders a bit. "She's moving up to Massachusetts this summer and I'm so excited! I haven't seen her in, God, seven years. But she's finally going to be able to meet my son and Alex."

Alex smiled. "It'll be nice to finally meet someone you're related to."

John bent down and picked up Phillip, holding him up to Alex. "Hey, remember him?"

Alex smiled and took Phillip in his arms, kissing the kid's forehead. "How could I forget about our favorite boy?"

"You just broke Basil's heart," John joked as Alex put Phillip back down.

"I am the favorite," Phillip stated.

"You are," John nodded. "Don't tell Alex."

Alex smiled, planting a gentle kiss on John's shoulder. "I'm hurt."

"You boys are so gross," Peggy gagged. "Cooties, that what you guys have."

Alex smiled and pulled Peggy into a big bear hug, causing her to squeal and laugh. "Uh oh, Peggy, you got cooties now."

"Gross!" Peggy exclaimed. "You're gross! You have cooties!"

Alex stuck his tongue out at her. "Boys rule, girls drool."

"You're just jealous because I have  _ boobs _ ," Peggy laughed.

Phillip began laughing. "Boobies!"

John let out a long sigh. "Wow, I have two children. I never thought I'd have two kids, but here I am, parenting both my son and my boyfriend."

"You adore me," Alex scoffed, pecking John's lips.

"Maybe I do," John chuckled.

"Yo, Peggy, I’ve got someone you should meet!" A voice called out.

"Oh, that's me I guess," Peggy laughed. "I will see you both at some point tonight, hopefully, maybe. John's pretty tall so I'll probably be able to spot him from a distance, and if I've learned anything since you two started dating, it's that if John is there, chances are Alex is within fifteen feet."

Alex flipped Peggy off as she left, smiling playfully.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you two grew up together," John chuckled.

"I met her when Eliza and I first got together when we were seventeen, and she was like, eleven, so we kinda did in a way." Alex smiled. "I think she was the only one in that family who just wanted to be friends with me."

John chuckled, looking around the room. Then he saw it. The flash of curly hair, cut up in a fade, lopsided a bit to the left. The brown skin, the bored expression. Tall, just like John, wearing a deep red suit that was always his favorite color. Eyes darting all over the room to look for anything to entertain since he knew his phone couldn't leave his pocket.

"What is it, boy? What do you see?" Alex asked jokingly, still very curious about what has captured John's direct attention.

"I gotta..." John trailed off, making his way through the people to try and get a closer look, just to make sure it wasn't just his imagination. Alex followed, taking Phillip's hand so the kid wouldn't get lost.

John gasped as the two of them locked eyes and John felt the world freeze. His jaw fell slack, his breathing sped up, his hands began to shake. For a second, the two of them just stared, then John began moving, his legs going as fast as they could take him through the groups of people.

"Henry!" John gasped, pulling the boy into his arms. John felt tears in his eyes as he hugged his brother, gasping. Henry smelled like home, just how John remembered. Henry hugged back just as tight, shaking as John held him.

"John," Henry said as best he could. He didn't speak much, due to the fact that it didn't seem to matter since he couldn't hear anyway.

John held his hand on the back of Henry's neck, taking in how grown up his little brother was. Last time John ever saw Henry in person, he was eight, and now here this kid was, grown up, wisps of facial hair on his face, almost as tall as John. John had tears slowly sliding down his cheeks. Seven whole years, and now here he was, with his brother.

' _ I love you _ ,' John signed, pulling away from the hug.

' _ I love you _ ,' Henry signed back before pulling John into another hug.

"John," a voice gasped.

John looked over and a sob broke from his chest. There was Martha, in her wheelchair and evening gown. Pearl earrings, red nails, perfect makeup. That's when it hit John that his sister was a whole grown woman. She was an adult, no longer the little girl John would wheel around the park and play checkers with and stand up for and demand wheelchair accessibility for. She had a voice, she was a person.

"Martha," John gasped, falling to his knees in front of her and hugging her best he could, his head in her lap, his arms around her waist. His shoulders shook with sobs as he hugged her, feeling her fingers running through his hair gently.

"John, John," Martha repeated, eyes welling up. "John."

John looked up, tears running down his cheeks. "Martha."

"Oh, God, John, it's really you," Martha choked out. "John."

Alex stood there, watching this reunion. It didn't take a genius to realize that these were John's siblings. The curly dark hair, the light brown skin, the freckles. Alex held Phillip close to him, letting John have his reunion.

"Oh, God, Martha, Henry," John started, signing the words as he went so both could know what he was saying. "This is my son, Phillip." John took a second to spell out Phillip's name, then gave the sign for 'turtle' so they wouldn't have to spell out Phillip's name every time. "And this is my um, roommate, Alex."

Alex's eyebrows shot up. Roommate? Did he hear that correctly? Of course, he figured John probably had his reasons, and if he was shunned for having a child, being in a relationship with a man probably wouldn't be that much better.

"This is my nephew?" Martha asked as Phillip shyly approached John and John’s family members, whom he had never met before.

John nodded. "Phillip, this is your aunt, Martha, and your uncle, Henry."

Phillip leaned against John, looking down and waving.

"He's shy," John explained softly.

' _ Does he sign _ ?' Henry asked, kneeling down and smiling warmly at Phillip.

' _ He doesn't, but I can translate _ ,' John replied.

Henry smiled, beginning to sign. ' _ I am your uncle, and I am happy to meet you.' _

John gently took Phillip's hand. "He says that he is your uncle, and he is very happy to meet you."

Phillip looked up and smiled lightly. "Papa told me about you."

John continued translated.

Henry smiled and laughed a bit. ' _ Can I hug you _ ?'

"He wants to know if he can hug you," John stated, looking to Phillip.

Phillip nodded and Henry hugged the small child, grinning. Phillip hugged Martha next, commenting on how her dress was 'the good feeling.' John kissed the top of Phillip's head, feeling absolutely nothing but pride. He saw the way his sister commented on the pretty freckles Phillip had, just like them, and the way Henry commented on how curly his hair was, which prompted John to sign Henry to not speak about Phillip's mother.

"Oh, John, before we wait any longer, I gotta tell you, Dad is-"

"Johnathan." The deep voice of the South Carolinian senator interrupted Martha, and John, by instinct, stood right up, straight and tall. Alex, who had been standing there, watching the scene and smiling, instantly squared up his shoulders, knowing exactly who it was.

"Dad." John swallowed hard.

John's father stepped forward, looking John up and down. It was a sweat-breaking tradition John's father had always had. Whenever they would see each other for the first time in more than a few hours, Henry Sr. would spend a few seconds looking John up and down. It was terrifying, and could sometimes send John into a panic attack. At this moment, John wanted to hide. He wanted to take his son and Alex and just leave, get out of there. This was terrifying.

"You look well," Henry Sr. stated, nodding his head slowly.

"Thank you. As do you," John replied.

"Are you working?" Henry Sr. asked, continuing the interrogation.

John nodded. "Yes, Dad."

Henry Sr. looked down at Phillip, who’d lowered his eyes. "And this is your son?"

John nodded. "His name is Phillip Johnathan Laurens. He is almost seven. I've raised him on my own for most of my life. He gets high marks in school, and is learning French."

"One day he'll run Manhattan," Alex commented lightly.

"And you are?" Henry Sr. asked, seeming to notice Alex for the first time.

Alex held out his hand. "My name is Alexander Hamilton. I am the leader of the budget division for the state of New York, and your son's roommate."

"I am Henry Laurens, South Carolinian senator," Henry Sr. introduced himself, shaking Alex's hand.

John glanced at Alex, quietly thanking him for playing along, trying to explain with one look why he said what he said. Alex offered a soft look and a smile, notifying John it was okay. The moment was a split second, but the message was clear.

"John, walk with me," Henry Sr. commanded.

John's eyes widened a bit and he glanced at his sister, who shrugged and shook her head. Henry was very out of the loop, barely picking up a sentence while trying to read lips, and Henry Sr. was unmoving, showing no emotion.

"Hey," Alex said softly, touching John's arm. "I'll watch Phillip. Text me if you need anything, alright?"

John nodded, offering a small smile, though he wanted to kiss Alex. "Okay, dad, let's go."

Henry Sr. nodded, and the two of them walked towards the door and into the quiet hallway. John fiddled with the sleeves of his tux, feeling his stomach turn. Henry Sr. was stone cold, almost two inches taller than John, broader shoulders, bigger body. Short hair, greying, with no smile lines, but smokers wrinkles from cigars smoked with other important businessmen. He would’ve been terrifying to anyone.

"We haven't spoken in seven years," Henry Sr. started. "I have kept track."

"I have too," John replied curtly.

"When we last spoke, you were a slacker, going to college for a dead end major. You had knocked up a woman you weren't even in a relationship with. You were a shiftless drinker, and you had no worthwhile aspirations," Henry Sr. started.

John just nodded, not wanting to argue. He knew that wasn't true. He was getting good marks, he had a job lined up for him that paid well, he had aspirations, and he wasn't a heavy drinker, just a partaker. His dad was right about the fact that he knocked up a woman who he wasn't even dating though.

"When I heard you were having…?" Henry Sr. trailed off, unsure what John’s kid was called.

"Phillip," John answered quickly. "My son's name is Phillip."

"Yes," Henry Sr. nodded. "Phillip. When I heard you were having Phillip, you became even more of a disappointment to me than you were before."

John cringed and nodded, looking down. Here it comes, The Big Lecture. The one where John's dad would strip away every part of John bit by bit, like some type of twisted torture method. It was degrading, terrifying, and John knew he was the only kid his father did this to. He was the only kid his father could do this to. Not even the great Henry Laurens Sr. could stoop so low as to undermine a child with a disability.

"But."

John's head whipped up. There was never a 'but' in these lectures, ever.

"I look at you today and see a man," Henry Sr. stated. "You have grown into a real adult, one who has learned to push silly things like dreams aside, focus on the real world. You have raised your son alone, but he looks to be a fine young man. You have stopped your silly phase of not eating, grown into a strong adult. I'm proud of you."

John's eyes widened, his heart beating against his chest. A smile fought to come across his lips, but John didn't want to let it. Never, not once in John's life, had his father stated he was proud of him. It was rare when someone did say they were proud of John, but hearing it from his dad meant everything to him. "Thank you, dad."

"Tell me about what I’ve missed," Henry Sr. ordered.

"Uh, well, it was mostly Phillip and me for a while. I have friends who also have kids, so whenever I needed to work, Phillip would have a safe place to go. Uh, about a year ago, I moved in with Alex, and I've been living there ever since." John smiled.

"In an apartment?" Henry Sr. asked.

"In Alex's house. He doesn't make me pay rent because firstly, it could be impossible for someone like me to pay half his mortgage, and secondly, he says, as a veteran, it's nice to have company. He lived alone before," John explained.

"No wife?" Henry Sr. asked.

"He had one, but, well, she was kinda crazy," John stated. "I met her once, and it was just, wow, it was intense.

"And what about you? Are you in a relationship?" Henry Sr. asked.

Instantly, the image of Alex last night ran through his head. The idiot had covered the bed and his junk with rose petals and then had put two on his nipples. It was so completely and utterly ridiculous, and John couldn't even get in the mood because of how ridiculous Alex was. They’d just ended up just making out and laughing while a medical drama playing in the background. John just shrugged at his dad. "No, I've been too busy to find a girlfriend. Uh, I guess I know a few girls, but no one has really caught my eye yet."

"What of Phillip's mom?" Henry Sr. asked.

John swallowed hard. "We keep in touch. She was never the parenting type, but I am."

Henry Sr. nodded slowly. "How is living with Alexander Hamilton? I have heard much about him, and I have always thought him an obnoxious addition to politics. He lacks the professionalism that most politicians need, and his opinions are frankly outrageous."

John shrugged. "He's actually pretty cool, and he helps out with Phillip a lot."

Henry Sr. nodded. "John, I would like to bring up the whole family to see you. Martha and James. For Christmas. I think it only right that after spending this much time apart, we all catch up, as a family, properly."

John almost jumped with excitement. "Really?"

"Yes," Henry Sr. answered. "Obviously, we will all be staying at a hotel, due to Martha's handicap. I am assuming Hamilton's house has steps, and we wouldn’t expect you to make the house wheelchair accessible in a month. During the day though, the children and you will be free to roam the city together. I have business I've been meaning to take care of in New York, regardless of the holiday, so I will occupy myself for some time as well."

John nodded.

"We’ll bring up the van, so everyone can be travel in the same vehicle," Henry Sr. continued. "I don't suppose you still have your license."

"I do, and my own car," John replied, smiling.

Henry Sr. fished his card from his pocket, writing his mobile number on the back. "We will continue to develop these plans via text, understood?"

John nodded. "Yes, Dad."

"Good," Henry Sr. confirmed, straightening his jacket. "Now, let’s join the others again, I have people to talk to. I did not come all the way up to New York for a reunion."

John nodded again and the two of them walked back into the main area. Henry Sr. quickly to split off from John to converse with some politicians while John quickly found his brother, who towered over most like a true Laurens. John, who was just so happy to be back with his family, pulled Henry into another hug, smiling wide.

"How was that? What did he say?" Martha asked.

"Well," John started, leaning down to kiss Phillip's head and offering a gentle smile for Alex. "He said that he was proud of me."

"The world has turned upside down," Martha laughed.

"Yeah, I definitely expected the whole 'I have never been more disappointed in you in my life' kinda lecture that he usually gives me, but no. He said he was proud of me, he said I was finally an adult, which is kinda nice to hear. And then..." John trailed off, signing his words as he went, which was something he’d gotten used to doing when he was living at home.

' _ Then _ ?' Henry signed impatiently, huffing a bit.

"He said he was going to bring you all up for Christmas," John smiled.

Martha's smile could've lit up the room. "Really?"

Henry pumped his fist in the air, letting out a bit of a happy grunt. ' _ I finally get to see what my big brother does in his free time. _ '

"Yeah, well, I can be pretty boring," John replied, still signing his reply anyway since he Henry couldn't read lips too well.

"Bull!" Martha scoffed, leaning forward in her wheelchair to gently smack John's arm. "You are always doing something, moving, dancing, whatever. Will we get to know your roommate too?"

"Oh, I don't want to intrude on any family time," Alex stated honestly. The immigrant felt a bit glum that he knew him and John were going to have to keep up the act of just being friends while his family was up, but the way John was smiling as he talked to his siblings was worth it. Besides, they could have their own Christmas celebration afterward, or just be together afterward. It would be fine.

"Nonsense," Martha countered. "We're gonna need someone who knows their way around New York anyway."

“Um, hey,” John protested.

Alex chuckled and looked down a bit. "I do have a pretty good idea of what New York is. Hey, uh, I should probably go talk to people. I wanna see if I can get some good government secrets for you so you can single-handedly destroy our democracy and start a socialist society run by scientists and doctors."

"Try to get some passcodes," John joked, gently touching Alex's arm.

"I'll try to get you access to Trump's tax returns," Alex replied.

"Alex, don't set yourself up for failure," John laughed. "Trump doesn't have tax returns."

Alex snorted, nodding. "You're right."

John offered a lopsided smile, tucking some of his hair behind his ear. He felt like they were back at the start of their relationship; flirting ever so slightly, trying to fool themselves and everyone else into thinking they were just friends. "Good luck. Go, fight for the little guys."

"Politics better put up its dukes," Alex nodded, mock squaring up and then leaving the group with a little wave.

"You two seem close," Martha commented.

John nodded. "It's kind of hard not to be close with someone who you've lived with for over a year. Okay, how about I get a drink really quick, then we catch up?"

"John, you can't drink!" Martha gasped. "You're only… wait."

"I'm a twenty-seven-year-old man," John laughed.

"My God, I just realized you've aged," Martha gasped. "You've gotten older!"

' _ You are almost thirty _ ,' Henry signed, laughing as he did so.

John flipped both of them off. "I'm gonna get a drink, like an adult. I'll be right back. Pip, honey, come with me."

Phillip smiled and took his father's hand as they walked through the people. "Are you gonna tell Aunt Martha that you and Alex are boyfriends?"

"Well, actually, Phillip, we're gonna play a game," John stated, kneeling down. "We have to pretend that Alex and I aren't boyfriends, because..." John thought for a second. "Because it's a secret, and we have to keep it a secret."

Phillip's eyebrows creased together. "Why?"

John took a deep breath, deciding he couldn't just lie to his son about this. "Some people wouldn't like the fact that Alex and I are boyfriends. It's not about Alex and me, it has nothing to do with us, it's just that they don't like it. Sometimes, the people who don't like it are people you love very much, and you look over the options, and you decide that pretending to be something you're not isn't as bad as losing them again."

"Aunt Martha won't like you and Alex being together?" Phillip asked.

John nodded slowly. "Some people grow up very different, and they are different. But, hey, look at me." John gently placed his hand on his son's cheek. "I'm not like them. No matter who you are, what you do, where you go, I will always be so proud of you, and I will always love you so much, Phillip. You will try so many new things, and I will be there for you every time you do. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Papa," Phillip replied.

"So, if Martha asks if Alex and I are boyfriends, what do you say?" John asked.

"I say no," Phillip answered.

"Right," John nodded. He let out a sigh, then kissed his son's forehead. "You will never have to hide like this, ever, I promise, Phillip Johnathan Laurens. I will always be here on your side, to protect. I'll bleed and fight, I'll make it right for you. I'll make this world safe and sound for you, and I know, I  _ know _ you're gonna blow us all away."

Phillip smiled.

"Okay, now, papa is gonna get a drink, and then we're going to spend time with your aunt and uncle, because you have never met them, and I haven't seen them in a very long time," John stated.

"Why is Aunt Martha in a wheelchair?" Phillip asked.

"Her legs don't work anymore, so she uses a wheelchair to get around," John answered.

"And why does uncle Henry talk with his hands?" Phillip questioned.

"He can't hear, so he talks with his hands because he doesn't need to hear when he does," John answered, sipping his wine. "Hey, we're still gonna go out and get Denny's or something after this, just you and me and Alex, alright?"

Phillip nodded.

"I'm back," John smiled, approaching Martha and Henry again.

John and his siblings talked until the gala ended. They caught up on so much and made plans for when they come up to New York. John got caught up on Mary and Jemmy who were with their aunt in South Carolina. John told them about his dance classes, his friends, and Phillip. Martha talked about how her classes were going, her plans for Massachusetts, and one of her classmates she’d been talking to online, and she sort of had a crush on. Henry signed about his search for colleges, how school was going, how he was driving now and how he’d broken up with his girlfriend.

Eventually, they said goodbye. John hugged Martha and Henry tightly, making sure they both had his number since they could now call and be allowed to communicate. John shook his father's hand, feeling pride swell in his chest. Alex smiled kindly at John's siblings, even attempting to sign goodbye, which he had googled at one point during the night. Henry appreciated the effort since most people didn't even bother.

"John, we will work out Christmas plans soon. I will see you in a month," Henry Sr. stated. "It was good to see you, son."

"It was good to see you too, dad," John replied, smiling. He hugged his siblings one more time, then finally went to the car with Alex and Phillip, buckling Phillip up and getting into the driver's seat, smiling widely as he received texts from Henry and Martha, quickly saving their numbers into his phone and texting them back.

"Mm, gimme a kiss," Alex requested.

John complied, leaning over and pecking Alex's lips. "Thank you. Thank you for just, for not saying anything."

"Well, usually you don't refer to me as your roommate, so I figured something was up, and I just played along.

John nodded, leaning back. "I can't believe it. They're so grown up. I mean, Martha is an actual adult. And, oh my God, I told them I was going to get a drink, and Martha totally just forgot that I was like, six years past the drinking age." John laughed a bit. "And Henry is like, he's seventeen. He's gotten so mature, and did you see his hair? He looks exactly like a normal high school boy. And Martha has just grown up into such a beautiful young woman, and I just, I can't believe they're all grown up."

Alex smiled, gripping John's hand. "I'm so happy that you're happy."

"And, I know we're gonna have to keep up the act when they're up here, but it'll only be for like, two weeks, and they're staying at a hotel, so we will only have to act like that during the day, so it's not like we're going to be abstinent."

"You really think no one would be okay with it? Not even your siblings?" Alex asked. "I mean, I don't wanna pressure you to say anything, but I'm just wondering. Your sister seemed pretty nice."

John just shrugged. "I dunno. I'll try to bring it up in a casual way, just to see their opinions, but I really just, we were never brought up to be okay with this kind of stuff. It's not their fault, they really are nice people, and I just, I don't want to rock the boat right now. I just got them back and I don't want to lose them again."

"I get that, you don't gotta worry," Alex stated. "There's no pressure, I was just curious."

"Thank you," John sighed.

"Of course," Alex nodded, smiling. He wished the smile was genuine, but it wasn't. Something about all of this irked him. It made him feel sick. Maybe it was just his anxiety, but Alex felt like this wasn't going to end well. He prayed that he was wrong.

  
  



	23. First impressions and good impressions

"Get rid of the couches! We can't let anyone know we sit!" John exclaimed, running around the house with a vacuum.

Alex looked over at Phillip, a dead expression painted on his face. "Has your father ever acted like this before?"

Phillip shook his head. "He's going crazy I think."

Alex nodded, petting Basil's head and not making any move to get up off the couch that he and Phillip were sitting on. "You know, it really seems like it."

John had been cleaning for about a week straight. With the visit from his dad looming over his head, he seemed to notice every little stain, dust speck, and dirty dish in the house. Alex, wanting to be considerate, tried his best to keep things clean, but he quickly realized that no one could spot a mess like John Laurens. The younger man had gone from relaxed to a big ball of stress only a matter of days before their arrival. Currently, the rest of the Laurens family was a mere fifteen minutes away. They had gotten in late last night and had gone to their hotel, and now they were currently driving over. John had planned out everything down to the very second and then had spent a lot of time texting his siblings. Alex would be lying if he said he didn't feel ignored, but he tried not to make a fuss out of it, seeing as it had been years since John was really able to talk to his siblings like this. The sick feeling still rested at the bottom of the veteran's stomach, but he tried to ignore it.

"Why do we have a dishtowel in the kitchen? We need a hand towel!" John exclaimed.

"Is there a difference?" Alex asked himself quietly. "God, and it's only ten. It's too early for this. Basil, do you know why John is doing this?"

Basil let out a little whine, looking up at Alex with his sweet grey eyes.

"I don't know either, buddy, that's why I'm asking you," Alex chuckled, planting a kiss on Basil's nose. Basil, being the sneaky bastard he is, got in a few wet licks on Alex's face before Alex pushed him away, gagging a bit. "Gross, dude. Not cool."

"Does Basil understand you?" Phillip asked.

Alex shrugged, thinking back to the army dogs he worked with, and how they seemed to almost understand him. "To a certain extent, yeah. I don't think he knows the words I'm saying, but I think all dogs can definitely sense emotions in humans. Like, when I get excited about taking Basil for an R-U-N, I think he recognizes the tone in my voice more than the actual word, but I'm not an expert on dogs."

Phillip hummed, thinking. "I think he knows everything, but he doesn't tell us."

Alex looked down at Basil and his silly face, then nodded. "You’re probably right."

"Alex, hon! I need your help upstairs!" John called out.

"Jesus, how did he get all the way upstairs?" Alex muttered. "I didn't even hear him walk up the stairs." Alex began his trek up to their room. He was careful, in case the floor was still wet from John's excessive mopping this morning. Alex pushed open the door to their room. "Hey, what did you..." Alex trailed off, then smiled as he saw John, lying on the bed, propped up on his elbows, smiling at Alex. "What are you doing?"

"Kiss me," John requested.

Alex didn't waste time, moving forward and falling on the bed, crawling up between John's legs and pulling the younger man into a kiss. John smiled, wrapping his arms around Alex's neck and sighing. Alex's fingers gently raked through John's long long hair. It had only gotten longer, John having not gotten it cut in months, and even then, it was just a trim. It was getting hard to manage, but it was beautiful to watch John take down his hair from a bun and watch the dark curly waves cascade down to the middle of his upper back. John usually didn't take it out of a bun until he was home because getting it back up in the style was a bit of a hassle now.

"Pretty," Alex mumbled softly.

John smiled, one hand in Alex's curly hair, the other at the older man's ass. "Thank you for this. I know I've been a bit annoying recently, but I just-"

"Hey, I get it, you haven't seen them in years, you want to make a good impression," Alex interrupted. "I know things are gonna calm down, and you guys are going to fall into a rhythm. Besides, this can totally count as payback for my entire campaigning fiasco."

"I don't see why you both needed to do shrooms together," John stated.

"Creative process," Alex scoffed.

"You thought I was Barack Obama," John snorted.

Alex nodded, resting his forehead against John's. "Maybe so."

John sighed and wrapped his arms around Alex's waist. "I'm scared that Mary and Jemmy won't remember me. I mean, Mary was six when I last saw her, and Jemmy was eight. My sister Martha, she said that they do, and they always recognize me in pictures, but still. I'm just, I'm worried. Does that make sense?"

Alex nodded.

"That, and my hair way shorter when they last saw me," John chuckled. "I didn't start growing it out until Phillip was born. I got too busy parenting and working to get it cut, and then I decided that I liked it long, so I just kept it like that."

"I like your long hair," Alex smiled, tugging on it a bit. "Don't ever cut it."

"I won't, I promise," John smiled.

Alex leaned down and kissed John again. "You know I absolutely adore you, but I am an evil bastard, and so..."

"Alex, you son of a bitch, you better not, Alex, Alex-"

John was cut off by Alex tickling him. John screamed, laughing as Alex's fingers danced across his ribs and stomach. John was giggling and squealing, trying to catch his breath. It only took a matter of seconds both Phillip and Basil to come jumping on the bed. John laughed, pushing Alex off of him on one side, and letting Phillip cuddle up to him on the other side. Basil ended up lying on John's stomach, panting and moving forward to lick John's face.

"Okay, family cuddle," John laughed. "Yes, Basil, I love you too."

Alex rolled his eyes, wondering how John could confess his love for the dog after three months but couldn't even confess his love sober after over a year. "We all love Basil."

"Basil is the best boy," John cooed, kissing Basil's nose.

Phillip laughed, patting Basil's head. "Big puppy."

"He's a grown man dog, he ain't no puppy," Alex defended.

"No, Alex, he's a little puppy. Aren't you boy?" John chuckled. "Little baby puppy boy."

Basil wagged his tail and licked John's chin, letting out an approving sound from his throat before rolling on his side a little bit, making Alex laugh as he pushed the dog back up.

"Basil, you're not doing anything to help your case," Alex scoffed.

John let out a low hum, hugging both Alex and Phillip to his side. The father closed his eyes, smiling as he felt both his boyfriend and his son relax a bit more. It was peaceful. Even Basil had taken to just rest his chin on John's chest. Alex gently kissed John's shoulder, smiling to himself. He felt good, safe.

In his lifetime, Alex had always pictured himself with a family, but not one quite like this. When he was young, he figured he'd have the nice wife, two kids, and a white picket fence. Thinking about that now though made him gag. What would his life had been like it had been that boring? He would've gone crazy. But now, here he was, cuddled up to his boyfriend, his stepson right on the other side, the dog they got purely out of impulse lying on top of his boyfriend, panting to show off his foul breath. Alex couldn't have been happier. He had a family, and no white picket fence or big front yard would make it better. Nothing could make this better. What Alex had right now, it was pure bliss. Pure bliss. And he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

The mood was broken when someone farted. Phillip and John let forth a series of laughs, and even Alex had to chuckle. Farts were classic playground humor, and while Alex had outgrown a lot of things, he had never outgrown the idea that you were supposed to laugh when someone farted.

"Who was that?" John asked. "Alex, it sounded like you."

"No, it wasn't me," Alex chuckled. "Was it you?"

John shook his head. "Phillip?"

"Nuh-uh," Phillip gasped.

In unison, the three of them turned their heads to look at a smiling Basil, who was wagging his tail and panting up at them. John burst out laughing, along with the others as Basil let out playful growls and rolled off of John and in between him and Alex. Alex groaned, scratching the dog's belly a bit before Basil got up and laid down at the foot of the bed, facing the door. Alex cuddled back up with John closing his eyes.

"My family," John mumbled quietly.

"They'll be here in ten minutes," Alex replied.

"They're already here in my arms though, babe," John chuckled.

Alex smiled and closed his eyes, burying his face in John's neck so no one could see the amount of blood that had just flowed into his cheeks. John laughed, hugging both Alex and Phillip a bit closer and closing his eyes as well. John wished this moment could last forever. He had the bliss of everything to look forward to, as well as the joy of the current moment he was in. It was perfect. It was the exact spot in time and space that he wanted to be. Nothing bad waned on his mind, nothing stressed him, caused him pain. It was just him, his son, and his boyfriend, together. And they were happy.

John, Alex, and Phillip awoke from their unintentional nap to the sound of John's phone ringing. John picked it up, not exactly knowing which Martha it was. He started with the vaguest term he could use for any of his Marthas. "Hey, girl."

"Hey, John!" His sister, Martha, said, obviously laughing a bit. "We're having a smidge of trouble finding your house, do you think you could sit outside?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah," John nodded. "Sorry, we all just passed out."

"You and Phillip?" Martha asked.

John paused, remembering the act he had to put up for his family. "Yes. Me and Phillip. I'll be right out."

"Who was that?" Alex asked, gently pressing a kiss to John's neck.

John sat up. "My sister says they’re having trouble finding the house, so I'm gonna go out and sit on the stood so they can see me."

Alex sat up as well, pulling John into a kiss. "I adore you, John Laurens."

John smiled. "It's only for two weeks."

"No skin off my back," Alex stated. "As long as you're happy. I can't promise I won't be super needy at night though, and I will kiss you whenever we get the chance, alright?"

John nodded, smiling. "Alright. Come on, Phillip, let's go wait for your aunts and uncles and grandpa."

Phillip smiled, sitting up. "Okay, papa."

John got up, picking up Phillip and walking out of the bedroom. Alex lied there for a second, smiling at the two, before getting up and walking down to the kitchen with Basil. Alex started some coffee in the coffee maker and pulled out his newspaper, which he hadn't gotten around to reading this morning. He knew it was best he gives this reunion some space. John meant it when he said they were a family, but Alex knew space it the best thing he can offer this.

John sat on the stoop, waiting impatiently for the familiar sight of the green van his family had always had to appear. The dreaded green van. Once John's mother had gotten word of her third child when John was just turning nine, they purchased the green van. Over the years, the van had been decked out to meet the needs of Marth's paralyzation, but it was still the family car. John hated it, for the same reason most kids hate family cars. Sticky road trips, hot stuffy air, the smell of feet and soda that had gone flat wafting through the atmosphere. John had at least gotten the privilege of sitting up by a window that opened.

John was surprised to see a sleek red van pull up to the house. It was more modern than the hideous green one, and it looked more comfortable. John envied what was most likely the majority of most of his sibling's childhoods. Mary and Jemmy were too young to remember the road trips, Henry had easily tuned them out with a book, and Martha always got shotgun, so were they even that bad for her?

The door of the van opened, and an electronic ramp came into view, then Martha. Beautiful as ever, no makeup this time, her hair thrown up into a bun. Blue skinny jeans and a sweater to protect her from the New York cold. Henry came out next, hair just a bit shorter than it was when John last saw him, wearing a long black peacoat as well as a shirt and pants to match the color theme. John gasped when he saw Jemmy come out next, his mop of almost black hair still there, his head tilted to the side, his eyes fixed on one thing or another. Then Mary. Short and stocky, as most people with down syndrome are, a bow in her hair, and a smile on her face. John ignored the tall stance of his father coming out of the driver's seat, walking to his siblings. 

John was slow when it came to approaching Mary and Jemmy, not quite knowing if they would know who he was. He shoved his hands in his pockets, stepping forward and swaying a bit side to side. Then Mary saw him.

"John!" She yelled excitedly.

John instantly kneeled down, bracing himself for the impact of the hug from his thirteen-year-old sister. It was bone-crushing, but John was okay with that, hugging her back. Tears formed in his eyes as he hugged her, then he looked up at Jemmy, who was tall now, being fifteen. His height was more than Alex's but less than Henry's.

"Hi, Jemmy," John smiled, tilting his head a bit.

Jemmy approached him, brought his hand up, and ran his finger over the bump in John's nose. It had been there since the day he broke it, fighting someone who called Martha a crip. Maybe it wasn't the worst insult, and maybe it wasn't even meant in a malicious way, but it made John see red.

"John," Jemmy confirmed, taking his hand away from John's face.

John nodded, smiling. "John."

Jemmy was quick to hug John, his head resting against John's shoulder as he held his older brother. To John, it was easy to return the hug. It had been so long since he had been with his brothers and sisters. It had been so long since he had gotten to hug them. The last time he saw Mary and Jemmy, they had been six and eight. They were both so young, too young to have a real sense of self. Now, here they were, grown-up and different.

"I love you," Jemmy stated.

"Hi Phillip," Martha smiled, leaning down and gently squeezing Phillip. "It's good to see my little nephew."

John smiled, stepping aside so Mary and Jemmy could meet Phillip. "Guys, this is my son, Phillip Johnathan Laurens. He's six, but he turns seven in a month."

Phillip beamed up at them.

"Phillip, this is your uncle, Jemmy, and your aunt, Mary," John explained.

"I cannot believe that Mary is thirteen and already an aunt," Jemmy commented, emotion absent from his tone.

"Get ready for an even bigger shocker, because I'm almost thirty," John laughed. "Oh, God, I'm almost thirty. Alright, everyone, let's go inside. If I know Alex as I do, he's put on some coffee, and we do have cream and sugar." John signed a form of this, not quite getting the same wording since ASL is a different dialect from the actual English speaking language, but Henry got the point, offering an intense nod.

"Coffee sounds great," Martha gasped. "I swear, I was studying the entire car trip yesterday, and I was so in awe at the New York streets that I couldn't sleep for another hour after we got there. I just sat in the window and watched."

John chuckled. "Okay, so there's no actual way to get into the house without climbing steps, which sucks, but I feel like if we just carried you up the stood and, Dad, you could get her wheelchair? It would be a lot easier since that leads right into the living room and that's where we can hang out. It's a big space."

"Aren't we gonna do a house tour?" Henry Sr. asked.

"House tour..." John trailed off. "Oh! I remember those! God, it's been so long. That's kind of only a southern thing really, and there's nothing much to see besides the kitchen and the bedrooms, so I don't think that's necessary." John turned to Henry. ' _ Hey, help me get Martha up the stairs _ ?' He signed.

"If either of you drops me, I'm gonna kick your butts," Martha threatened as she put one arm around John and the other around Henry. "I'm warning you. Just because the lower half of my body doesn't work, don't mean I can't take both of you."

"Nuh-uh," John scoffed as he and Henry lifted her up and carried her throne style up the stairs. "Marty, you should feel my abs. You could crack an egg on these babies."

"Pics or it didn't happen," Martha laughed as they made it to the top of the stories, Henry Sr. right behind them with her wheelchair.

John lowered Martha into the wheelchair, then pulled up his shirt, flexing his stomach to reveal his abs. Once he had started eating more, it was way easier for him to gain muscle mass, and he ended up gaining a more defined torso. "I have  _ never  _ been a victim to the dad bod. Papa's in shape."

Phillip laughed, poking John's hard stomach through his shirt. "I wanna have muscles."

"You will," John nodded, taking Phillip's hand and leading everyone inside. "With the amount of energy you have, Pip, I wonder how you aren't a bodybuilder already."

Phillip smiled and stayed close to his father. The small kid would never admit this to his father, but he really didn't like the idea of all these people coming into their space. He didn't want them to move things, like the remotes or blankets. Phillip liked the fact that John, Alex, and he had a routine, habits, and small things that didn't change. Both remotes were supposed to be at the left side of the coffee table, facing the TV. The blue blanket would go on the back of the black comfortable armchair, the red blanket stayed on the footstool, and the grey blanket stayed on the right arm of the couch. The movies were in alphabetical order, and the cushions were even on each side of the couch. Phillip liked that. It made him comfortable, and John and Alex had always done it out of pure habit. His friends knew where the blankets and pillows went, and he and Payne would always keep the blankets and pillows there because that's what they liked.

"You okay, buddy?" John asked, pulling Phillip back a bit as the rest of his family went into the living room.

Phillip shrugged, looking down.

"Is it something to do with them?" John asked, kneeling down.

Phillip shrugged again.

"Hey, buddy, let's use our words," John suggested. "I want to help, but you need to tell me what you need help with first."

"What if they move the blankets and pillows?" Phillip asked.

John's eyebrows creased. "What?"

"We always keep the blankets and pillows in certain spots, and they can't move, or we have to move to put them back, and then we're behind in our nightly schedule, and then we're gonna be late to everything, and you won't be able to read as much to me. Alex is going to have to get up to get the blue blanket and then we'll have to refold them, and we'll be so much more behind. I don't want the blankets to be moved."

"Okay, well, we can just ask them, and if worse comes to worst, we can stay up a little later," John tried. Truthfully, he had never given the pillows much thought. It seemed like just a thing that was a given. It just sort of happened usually. Phillip noticed though, and Phillip wanted it to stay the same.

Phillip shook his head. "No, Papa, it doesn't work like that!"

"Okay, let's take a deep breath," John started. "What are you feeling?"

"Angry," Phillip started. "Angry because the pillows and the blankets are gonna get moved."

"It sounds like this means a lot to you," John said calmly. "Will it be the end of the world?"

Phillip thought for a second, pouting. "No."

"Okay, but your feelings are important, so let's just ask them to keep things mostly in place, okay? And if not, then we'll run a few minutes late tonight, but we'll be fine tomorrow, okay?"

Phillip looked down. "I don't like it, Papa. Too many people we don't know. If they're our family, why have we never met them? Like Uncle Herc or Aunt Sally?"

"Hey, honey, can we talk about all of this later? I promise I'll explain it to you, all of it, but they are waiting for us," John stated.

"Wanna sit with Alex," Phillip grumbled.

John thought for a second, then nodded. "Okay, honey, he's in the kitchen. You can come back up whenever you want. I love you." John leaned in and kissed Phillip's forehead.

"I love you too," Phillip replied before going downstairs.

John nodded, reminding himself very quickly that Phillip had different needs than most, and he could handle different things. It was just how his son was, and that was okay. He loved Phillip more than anything in this life, and John was not about to be angry that Phillip was feeling a little upset.

John stood back up and walked into the living room. The blankets weren't touched, and the pillows were in the same places, so John felt okay with just sitting down on the couch. "So hey, what have I missed? It's been about seven years."

"Where's Phillip?" Martha asked, signing as she went. The whole family had gotten mostly used to signing what they were saying as they talked. Jemmy couldn't do it, so John translated for him, and Martha translated for their dad, and Mary when she needed to, though Mary didn't talk much.

"Phillip needed a bit of space, he's just feeling overwhelmed," John explained.

"This is a nice house," Henry Sr. commented, looking around.

John smiled. "Yeah, Alex bought it a few years ago." He chuckled a bit. "You should've seen it when I first moved it. It looked like Alex had just moved into it as well. No personality, I swear. Dishes were all matching, barely any art on the walls. It was, it was definitely in need of some serious personality."

"And what of Alex? Has he none?" Martha asked.

John shook his head. "No, no, Alex is great. He's good with Phillip, and he's an awesome roommate, even if he couldn't cook to save his life. But out of all the roommates I've had, he's definitely one of the best."

"When do you plan on moving out? Finding a place of your own?" Henry Sr. asked.

John ran his tongue over his teeth, thinking of any lie he could. "Oh, I'll know when I know. There's no point in leaving now, I have no reason to. Phillip likes it here, I like it here. It's better than most New York apartments, and rent is cheap."

"How has living in New York been?" Martha asked.

John chuckled. "It's a lot different from Charleston, I'll tell you that. Uh, It's busy, all the time, and there's never a quiet moment on the street. I've made a lot of really good friends, who you'll probably meet at some point or another. My best friend Hercules is actually really close to getting engaged."

' _ Who's his girlfriend _ ?' Henry signed, wiggling his eyebrows.

John swallowed hard. "Uh, you know, it's totally crazy, but their name has slipped my mind." John wasn't exactly lying. He would never be able to remember Lafayette's ten million names. "I'm probably the world's worst friend for that, but she is really nice. Treats Herc well."

"And what about you?" Martha teased, reaching out and gently pushing John's shoulder. "Anyone, to write home about?"

"No, no, not really," John laughed. "I've been too busy to find a date. I know a few girls, but one is taken, one doesn't want to be taken at all, and another..." John thought to his dear girl, the mother of his child, the perfect platonic love they shared. "Well, she's another one of my best friends, and I just, I can't see myself becoming any more with her. It would be too weird, for both of us. So no, no relationships. And what about y'all? Huh? This isn't the 'interrogate John' talk show, I wanna know how y'all've been."

' _ I've got my right hand _ ,' Henry signed, bringing a laugh from John and a scoff from Martha. Martha gasped when John signed back 'me too' and scolded the two fiercely for their disgusting manner, while the rest of the people in the room stared in confusion.

"Boys these days, I swear," Martha mumbled.

"No, see, I have female friends who are  _ way  _ cruder than me. Oh, God, you guys can never meet Maria, I swear, it'll break your sweet southern hearts," John chuckled, putting his hand over his chest when he had finished signing.

"Northern women," Henry Sr. scoffed.

"Northern women indeed," John laughed. "Martha, how's college life?"

Meanwhile, downstairs, Alex and Phillip were hanging out. Alex, by request, had begun reading Phillip the newspaper while Phillip sat on the floor with Basil and pet the pretty dog. Phillip still didn't want to go back up. Those people didn't feel like family to him.

"Can I tell you something and you can't tell my papa?" Phillip asked Alex.

Alex nodded slowly, looking up from the newspaper. "As long as you're not in danger."

"I don't feel like my aunts and uncles are my family," Phillip stated.

Alex raised an eyebrow, setting the paper down and sipping his coffee. "How do you mean?"

"Like..." Phillip paused, thinking for a second. "My uncle Herc and James and my aunt Sally are my papa's friends, and we see them all the time, but I've never met these people before in my life! And my papa says they're family, but I don't see why if they've never even talked to us!" Phillip huffed. "And they're gonna mess up the living room."

Alex nodded slowly. "Phillip, have you ever heard the term 'blood is thicker than water'? It's okay, if not, because you're young, but still."

Phillip shook his head.

"Well, it's taken out of the correct context most of the time, but the whole phrase is 'the blood of the brotherhood is thicker than the water of the womb.' What this means is that the family you have isn't always the one you were born with, it's the one you choose. Do you understand that?" Alex asked.

Phillip nodded slowly.

"Okay, so, what I want you to take from this is that sometimes the family you were given isn't always the family you need. You're allowed to feel the way you do, and frankly, I don't blame you, but I would like you to remember that your papa does love these people very much, and maybe with time, you will too, but regardless, we should just let your papa have some time with them, because he's missed them very much. It's only for two weeks. Can you do that?" Alex went on, smiling a bit.

Phillip groaned. "But we can't act like a family with them around."

Alex's heart flipped at that statement. Phillip agreed they were a family. Alex couldn't help but smile at that. "I know, and I hate it too." Alex got off his chair and sat on the floor next to Phillip, giving Basil a gentle pat. "But you know, people change, and sometimes we just need to give them time." Alex paused, then smiled. "You know, I have a brother, but we went so long without seeing each other or talking, that we just grew apart. Sometimes that happens to family."

"I want a brother," Phillip admitted.

Alex gave Phillip a bit of an amused look. "Yeah, you want one until you have one."

Phillip laughed. "Babies look like the biscuit man."

"The biscuit man..." Alex trailed off, trying to decipher Phillip's code.

"The white one with the handkerchief," Phillip explained.

"Oh, oh, okay, yeah, I know what you're talking about. The Pillsbury Doughboy. They do look like that, don't they?" Alex laughed a bit.

"Why didn't my grandpa want to see me?" Phillip asked.

"Well he just didn't have time, I guess," Alex answered.

Phillip was quiet for a moment. "That's a lie. I heard you and my papa talking about how my grandpa didn't even like me when I was born and didn't want anything to do with me. Why? What did I do?"

It broke Alex's heart to hear that, so he gently put his arm around Phillip, hugging the little boy closer to him. "Phillip, sometimes people are just too mean to let people into their hearts. You didn't do anything to him, I promise. It wasn't your fault. Grandpa just, he didn’t understand things, and that made him mad, and it made him scared. Your father had you when he was very young, and most people don't have a baby that young, and your grandpa didn't understand it."

Phillip looked over at Alex. "If they wanted nothing to do with us, then why are they here now? What do they want?"

Alex shrugged. "People change their minds sometimes."

Phillip sniffled, looking down a bit. "I want this family though, not that one."

Alex swallowed hard. "Well, I have some good news for you, because you have this family. You always have this family, no matter what. I love you and your father very much, and no matter how long I have to pretend, nothing is going to change that." Alex kissed the top of Phillip's head. "In Hebrew, family is called mishpocheh, which comes from the word shaphahh, which means 'to join.' That's all. It means you join each other in life, and it doesn't state how that has to happen."

Phillip sniffled again, letting out a small cry as he leaned against Alex some more. Alex gently stroked Phillip's hair, letting him cry. Maybe Alex didn't know the exact reason the kid was crying, but he was okay with being there and letting Phillip get his emotions out in a good way, and he was glad the kid wasn't suffering in silence upstairs, or alone in his room.

"Basil," Phillip laughed a bit as Basil began nudging Phillip's face.

Alex smiled a bit. "He's saying 'Phillip, don't be sad.' Basil doesn't like it when you're sad. He wants us all to be happy."

Phillip grinned at Basil, kissing the dog's head. "Dog's are good."

Alex nodded. "Dog's are good, Phillip. You know, someday, you may feel like the world is against you, and you may be scared, or hurt, or tired, or you just need to cry. Remember that you will never be alone though. Your dad and I will always be here for you."

"Sometimes I cry and I don't even know why, though," Phillip mumbled.

"So we'll sit and cry with you until we figure out what's wrong or until we don't want to cry anymore," Alex stated.

Phillip sat and thought for a long time, still leaning against Alex and relishing in the emotional comfort. Basil laid in front of the two, his head in Phillip's lap, his dopey pitbull face looking up at the kid. Phillip sighed a bit. "Are we gonna celebrate Hanukkah?"

Alex's brow shot up. "Hanukkah?"

"My teacher, Mrs. Bartusch, she taught us about all the holidays, and I recognized, the Jewish star from your necklace, and she said Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah, but we've never celebrated Hanukkah before," Phillip went on.

Alex smiled. "Well, Hanaka starts a few days before Christmas this year, and then ends a few days after Christmas, but I don't think your papa's family would like the idea of celebrating it, but we do have a few days after they leave when it's still going on, so we can do a little celebrating. I'll order some Jewish foods from the deli I really like."

"Is Hanukkah fun?" Phillip asked.

Alex thought back to the last time he celebrated Hanukkah, which had been over two decades ago. It was a wisp of a memory, but yes, indeed, fun. "From what I remember, yes."

"Christmas goes by too fast," Phillip complained. "I like the idea of it being stretched out into a week."

Alex chuckled. "Well, it's not totally like Christmas. See, Hanukkah comes from when the Greeks or Syrians, I can't remember which, descended upon the Jews, and took their temples and turned them into worship sites for the Greek Gods. Well, finally the Jews got their land back, and it was time to reclaim their temple of worship. Now, I wouldn't take my word on this, since my Jewish teachings were long ago, but they only had a days supply of olive oil to keep their Menorah burning, which needed to burn constantly or something, but somehow, the olive oil lasted eight days, giving them enough time to find more, and that's how Hanukkah happened. I think it stemmed off of a holiday called Sukkot, but again, I don't really know."

"What do we do during Hanukkah?" Phillip asked.

"Well, we do open presents, and we have a menorah we keep lit, and we eat good food, and invite our friends and family over. I don't know many other Jews besides my brother, but I don't think he'd come up on such short notice." Alex chuckled. "Why the sudden interest?"

Phillip shrugged. "I don't get Christmas."

"Why's that?" Alex asked.

"It's too bright and loud," Phillip stated. "Is Hanukkah like that?"

Alex thought. "It was called the festival of lights, but it's more candlelight than flashy Christmas light. Uh, there's not a lot of flash around it, since it's a Jewish holiday and people like to ignore Jewish holidays a lot, and it's a lot more relaxed, in my personal opinion. Like hanging out with friends and eating good food. Focuses more on the love than the commercialization, if you could call Hanukkah commercialized at all."

"That sounds fun," Phillip stated. "I don't wanna celebrate Christmas."

"Okay, how about this," Alex started. "We have a little bit of a Hanukkah celebration this year since your papa's family will probably only want to celebrate Christmas, and then, next year, we'll go full-on Hanukkah, yeah? We can watch The Three Stooges instead of a Christmas movie, and then I could probably attempt to read some Hebrew."

Phillip giggled. "It's gonna be the best."

Alex nodded. "It is."

-

The day went by fast. John and his family sat in the living room and talked for hours. Alex and Phillip sat downstairs most of the day, Phillip coloring and watching cartoons while Alex did some work. Phillip was in and out of the living room for most of the day, occasionally talking, but wandering out when he wanted to leave. Alex made sure the kid ate lunch, which was grilled cheese, which Alex had learned to cook. John had come down a couple of times to get food and drinks and had kissed Alex every time he did.

Eventually, dinner rolled around, and this time, it wasn't just snacks from the kitchen. The family was going to go out to a restaurant. Since they were downstairs, Phillip and Alex hadn't been very in the loop about the decision, so both were very surprised when John came down and told them. Alex was more surprised though, seeing as he had been invited to go along.

"I don't want to intrude," Alex admitted.

"Please?" Phillip asked.

Alex sucked some breath in through his nose, thinking. "Okay, but I wanna get changed into something nicer. I really don't think I should go in sweatpants. I mean, even if he doesn't know we're together, I still want to make a good impression on your dad."

John smiled and planted a kiss on Alex's lips. "We're all leaving in ten, hurry."

"I will, I will," Alex scoffed, smiling as he made his way upstairs.

John turned to Phillip, who was sitting at the counter, his coloring book in front of him. "Hey, buddy, how's your day been?"

"Good," Phillip smiled. "Alex and I talked about Hanukkah, and then we ate grilled cheese, and I watched cartoons and colored."

"Do you feel better?" John asked.

Phillip nodded.

"And I made sure the blankets and the cushions stayed the same, so you don't have to worry, okay?" John gently tucked a few curls behind Phillip's ear. "Let's go get you dressed, okay? We're gonna meet everyone else that the restaurant."

Phillip nodded and followed John upstairs. John helped Phillip pick out some clothes, then left him to get dressed while he went and got changed in his room. Alex had put on a pair of grey slacks and he was slipping on a white undershirt with a white dress shirt laid out on the bed for him. John smiled and went over, gently kissing the older man and slipping his hand onto Alex's stomach, running his fingers over the happy trail. Ever since Alex and Basil had started running, Alex had gotten a bit more in shape. Not muscled particularly, but the couple layers of pudge on his stomach has slimmed down a bit, the slight muscle Alex had always had on his arms and legs became more defined. John noticed a bit of a mood shift since Alex started exercising too. He seemed to have less anxiety, and he mellowed out a bit more and lasted a bit longer during sex, which was nice.

"Mm, hi," Alex smiled.

"Hi," John chuckled, kissing Alex again. "You look nice."

"I feel like crap," Alex admitted, laughing. "Didn't sleep well last night."

"Did you take your meds?" John asked, going over and beginning to get his own clothes on. "Or were you having bad dreams? You could've woken me up."

"No, no, I was just thinking a lot, and my brain couldn't shut off," Alex explained, pulling on his white dress shirt and buttoning it up. "It was fine, I'm just thinking about upcoming court cases, and then Thomas wants to pass this bill about the uptake of homeless shelters, and I need to make that bill plausible with some budgeting, and just, I've been working a lot lately."

"Hon," John said softly, coming over and beginning to rub Alex's shoulders. "Okay, how about tonight, after dinner, I give you a back rub, and we can talk about it. Maybe I can help."

"You wanna help?" Alex laughed. "I thought you would do anything to bring an end to the entire government."

John kissed Alex's neck. "Even if I can't bring down America's legal and political system, I'd rather help the good guys than do nothing."

"We do need a legal system, John," Alex pointed out. "Our current one needs work, but the world would fall into complete anarchy if we didn't have a legal system, and I think we need to make sure certain actions have consequences. Smoking weed? No. Shooting down unarmed teens? Absolutely."

"We'd make great presidents," John joked.

"We would," Alex agreed. "Come on, let's not keep your family waiting."

John let go of Alex, slipping off his shirt and pulling on a white tee shirt and a grey blazer. "We have a bit of time because they are all going back to the hotel to change. Reservation is in half an hour. How do you suggest we kill time for the next fifteen minutes before we sit aimlessly in traffic for another fifteen?"

"Well, Phillip brought up the idea of a little Hanukkah celebration after your family leaves, and when they do leave, Hanukkah will still have three days left," Alex started as he and John walked out of their bedroom.

"Are you turning my son Jewish?" John asked.

Alex nodded sarcastically, laughing. "Yeah, for sure. You know us Jews, always looking for children to convert. Especially someone as devoted to the Jewish religion as I am."

"What does convert mean?" Phillip asked, joining them as they all walked downstairs to the kitchen.

"It's people change their mind about religion and join a new one," John explained easily. "It's cold out, should we put on Basil's sweater?"

"He hates it," Alex laughed. "Can't we just leave him inside?"

"No, because last time we did that, he got into the trash," John shook his head. "Alex, you get his sweater on. Phillip, are you gonna need anything for the restaurant?"

Phillip shook his head.

"Okay, and does anyone have a problem with American food?" John asked.

"John, America doesn't have a culture," Alex laughed. "What even is American food?"

John shrugged. "Alex, I really don't know. It's really expensive, so that means the portions are gonna be, like, tiny. I swear, the more money you pay, the less food you get."

Alex laughed, not attempting to get Basil's. Suddenly, pain shot through his leg. Alex hissed in pain, standing up and leaning against the counter. "Hey, John, babe, can you go grab my cane from upstairs?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Did you take your meds?" John asked.

Alex nodded. "They have to be a low dose since they are opioids, so sometimes it doesn't work for everything."

"Okay, yeah, I'll be right back," John stated.

Alex sat down at the kitchen, sighing a bit. "Stupid leg."

"Why does it hurt?" Phillip asked.

"When I lost it, I didn't have access to any medics for a long time, and it got infected, and I got some damage to my nerves because of it," Alex explained to Phillip. "Sometimes it just hurts, but it doesn't hurt as much as it could."

"I don't think I could ever lose my leg," Phillip stated. "What if my fake one was too long or too short and then I'd walk all funny?"

Alex laughed. "Well, they're actually pretty good with prosthetics, and you can get some really cool ones. I have a really cool one in my opinion."

"If I ever lost a leg, I would want a Spiderman one," Phillip laughed.

"Spiderman is very cool," Alex agreed. "You probably won't lose your leg though, Phillip. It's not a very common thing to happen."

Phillip nodded. "Are we gonna get pizza?"

Alex shrugged. "I tell you what, if you're still hungry after dinner, then yes, we can stop and pick up a pie. Cheese?"

Phillip smiled. "Yeah!"

John chuckled, walking into the kitchen. "We're probably gonna need a pizza after this dinner. I would not trust that my father picked a place that serves more than a small bit of food." John handed Alex his cane, then leaned against the counter. "I feel like I haven't seen you two all day."

"You haven't," Alex pointed out, folding up his newspaper. He always placed the ones he had read on the doorstep at night because that way they got recycled.

"Let's watch a movie together after dinner, just the three of us," John suggested. "It would be nice, you know?"

Alex smiled, standing up and leaning against his cane. "Should we go? Get a head start on traffic?"

John nodded. "I'll drive."

"It'd probably be best," Alex chuckled. "I have my wallet, so if we're gonna split the bill, just let me pay."

"You don't have to try and impress my dad," John stated. "I don't think he'll care."

"What if one day he knows about us though? I don't want him to think of me as a slacker. I've already been in a relationship where the father didn't like me, I don't want to do another," Alex stated.

"Baby, I don't think my dad would like that we're together, regardless of who you are," John said in a nonchalant way, grabbing his keys.

"Instead of boyfriend, I'm just gonna call you my political ally," Alex stated.

"Why?" John asked. "I'm a dance teacher, not a politician."

"Yeah, but I think hearing the opinions of a young leftist social libertarian has definitely shaped my views a bit as well," Alex went on, chuckling a bit as John put Phillip in the back, making sure he was buckled. "I mean, I have my own political views from my own experiences, and you have your own political views from your own experiences. Frankly, capitalism wasn't really on my mind until I met you, and now I'm looking for ways to make New York more of a state that benefits lower class citizens. You are my political ally, but more in a way that Michelle Obama was Barack's political ally."

John got into the driver's seat of the car, thinking. "That makes sense. I think we do differ in some opinions, but I think as a politician you are certainly doing what you know it best for your state, not just your personal morals, which I really like. I've never really heard of a politician like that. Most politicians either believe truly liberal values and fight for those, or they believe truly republican values and fight for those. What if you did that?"

"John, if I fought for my own personal beliefs rather than scientific fact, believe it or not, I'd be a democratic centrist, truly. I definitely have some opinions on things that most likely clash with yours, and I will admit, sometimes I haven't exactly agreed with scientific fact, but the thing is, it's not about me. I present myself politically as a liberal democrat, but I don't consider myself any of those, really. I consider myself someone who believes in the power of science, and only that," Alex stated as John began driving.

John nodded. "Where do you think our opinions really clash?"

"I think it doesn't matter much," Alex replied. "We all have different views of what the perfect political system would be like, and I respect your view. I think it definitely shows that you simply care about the wellbeing of people, and I like that. Don't worry, I will never be a man who watches Fox news and stops fighting for the rights of the people, I just have certain opinions about certain things, and in the long run, they don't matter much. Besides, the opinions we differ on are minor, nothing like health care or homelessness or human rights. You know I would definitely fight the man on those ones."

"Marriage material," John chuckled.

"I have like, eighteen people who will tell you otherwise," Alex snorted.

"Well, I guess I'll have to tell eighteen people why they're wrong," John stated.

"Papa, why doesn't grandpa like me?" Phillip asked. "Alex said it was because he thought differently than us."

"You talked to him about this?" John asked Alex quietly.

"He was crying, I just told him that he didn't understand," Alex answered. "He deserves an answer."

John sighed, thinking a moment. "It's not that grandpa doesn't like you, Phillip. He's family, and-"

"He doesn't act like family," Phillip grumbled.

"Phillip Laurens," John chided. "Be nice."

"He just excludes us though!" Phillip protested. "And now  _ we _ can't be a family because he won't like it."

"We're always gonna be a family, Pip, no matter what, no matter who is there, and what we're doing or saying," Alex stated. "Sometimes, sometimes we just need to act a little different for the sake of the people we love. Your papa loves his family very much, and sometimes we just need to make sacrifices for them. I know it's hard to understand, believe me, but no one ever said having a family was easy."

"If they're family then why have I never met them?" Phillip asked.

John sighed but didn't answer.

"Papa," Phillip pestered. "Why have I never met them?"

"Sometimes family appears at different times of your life," Alex answered for John. "Try to look at this with an open heart Phillip. And it's okay to remember that blood is thicker than water if you want to."

"The blood of the..." Phillip trailed off. "What was it?"

Alex felt John's gaze bore into him, and he felt like he had overstepped a boundary. "The blood of the brotherhood is thicker than the water of the womb."

"What does that mean?" John asked, an eyebrow raised.

"It means your genetic connections mean nothing, your family is who you join with. You chose, and only you."

"Well, I mean, I think you have some sort of commitment to your blood family that you shouldn't ignore," John stated.

Alex shrugged. "Say what you will. Sometimes it's easier to build your own family than to make peace with the one you have. You did."

"What do you mean? No, I..." John trailed off, thinking.

"I'm gonna be honest here with you, John. I don't think Phillip would be referring to Herc, James, Sally, and Maria as his aunts and uncles if you guys weren't family," Alex stated. "Blood of the brotherhood. You choose who you call family, John."

John rubbed his chin, thinking. "Phillip, you've never met these people because they didn't understand us. They didn't understand the love I have for you, and they didn't understand how much I cared about you. But they're trying. Grandpa is trying. Maybe they don't understand our family yet, but they will. I will not hide us forever. No one in this car is ashamed of anyone else. Alex and I love you very much."

Phillip huffed. "I just don't get it."

John sighed lightly, reaching over and taking Alex's hand. "You will, someday, Phillip. Someday this is all going to make more sense, I promise."

Phillip grumbled something about not wanting more family, but it wasn't loud enough for either John or Alex to hear, so the conversation dropped. Alex and John occupied themselves with trying to find the restaurant. It was difficult, even for the two adults who had lived there for a fair amount of years. Alex, having been a New Yorker since he was seventeen, found it more funny than John, reassuring the man that being lost never changes, and the longer you live there, the funnier it gets.

Finally, the family pulled into the restaurant. John handed the valet the keys, then the three of them walked into the building. It was posh, tall, and definitely way too clean to feel like they weren't going to a business dinner. Alex mentioned how he had been here a couple of times, specifically for a dinner with Thomas to talk purely politics, which was rare when he and Thomas got together outside of work. It was in the time when Alex was balls deep in his turn around of New York's financial system.

"Mr. Hamilton!" The man at the door greeted.

"Uh, hello," Alex said, slightly unsure, but still smiling.

"You must be here to have dinner with your lovely date, and his son! We will find you a table at once, come in," the man smiled. "Please excuse my energy, I get excited when important people are in need of a seat."

"Actually, we have a reservation, it should be under Laurens," John stated.

The man opened his book, scanning it for a second. "Henry Laurens Sr.?"

"That's would be the one," Alex smiled.

"Ah, yes, right this way," the man smiled.

The family was lead to the table, where the rest of the Laurens family already sat, sipping water and making small talk. John smiled and sat down, Phillip sitting next to him and Alex sitting on the other side of Phillip. Alex smiled, offering a small wave as menus were placed in front of the three.

"Have you ever eaten here before, Alex?" Henry Sr. asked Martha, translating for him, while John decided to translate for Alex, simply because it was easy.

Alex smiled and nodded. "I believe it was at that table that I saved New York's financial state."

Martha's brows shot up. "And how did that happen?"

"Well, my financial plan was set up to centralize state credit, instead of taxing one city different than the other, we tax them all the same, creating more of a cash flow between government and citizen, which pulled New York out of debt. Of course, we do not tax lower class similarly to upper class, but since we've begun doing that, we've had a larger statewide budget which has lead to better funding in schools. We're not where we need to be, but I hope, with time, we can begin funding the education the way it deserves to be funded." Alex finished off his statement by sipping his drink. "The reason it happened here was when I needed to get a colleague on my side. Truthfully, we are great friends outside of work, but oftentimes our political views clash."

Martha chuckled. "I take it you've always been interested in politics?"

"Yes, actually," Alex smiled. "In college, I majored in political sciences, back before I even knew I was going to work this job."

"And what encouraged you to run?" Henry Sr. asked.

"Uh, my major, in the army, actually. After I left the army, he and I roomed together for a while, and this was when he began his political career as the governor of the state of New York, and he encouraged me to run for leader of the budget division for the state of New York, and now I'm here." Alex glanced down at his menu. "Jesus, I forgot how much kosher food this place had. Serves us right for eating on the lower east side."

John laughed. "Alex, what actually makes food kosher?"

"I think it has to be blessed by a rabbi or something. I dunno. I stopped my Jewish education before I could even have a Bar Mitzvah, so I'm probably not the most reliable source." Alex chuckled a bit, looking down. "Alright, I'm gonna get the spicy bazargan, what about you, Pip?"

"Macaroni," Phillip answered. "I don't know anything else on the menu."

Alex smiled, trying to hold back every parental instinct that came when he was around this child. "John, what about you?"

"Chicken fried steak," John answered. "Have y'all decided?"

Henry Sr. nodded, closing his menu. "We have. So, Alex, you're Jewish?"

Alex snorted. "Well, let’s just say that if my very Jewish mother saw the way I lived, I am very sure I would get whacked with a wooden spoon. I've come to terms with my purpose, and I think that's the best I can offer you."

John sipped his water, smiling over at his sister Martha and Henry. ' _ It's never good when two political men on opposite sides get together. _ '

Matha cocked an eyebrow. ' _ You're a closeted socialist. _ '

Henry laughed. ' _ You’re damn right he is. _ '

John rolled his eyes. ' _ You would be too if you had ever been homeless. _ '

Martha paused, thinking. ' _ John, when were you ever homeless in your entire life _ ?'

John chuckled. ' _ Remember when I spent six years raising a child on my own as a college drop out? There were many nights I spent in my car or on couches. _ '

Henry scoffed. ' _ If shit face fuck hole wasn't such a douche fuck we could have given you money. _ '

Martha gasped and John burst out laughing, bringing everyone's attention towards the three. Tears formed in John's eyes as he laughed, Henry laughing with him and Martha shaking her head. John almost felt bad for laughing at that, but he had no idea such a beautiful string of curse words could be signed by his brother, who was nine when they last saw each other.

"What's so funny?" Alex asked amusedly.

John shook his head, trying to stop laughing. "It's a signing thing." John looked over at Henry, chuckling still. ' _ You are lucky dad does not know sign. _ '

' _ If dad knew sign I would have a hell of a lot to say to him _ ,' Henry responded.

John rolled his eyes. "Kids."

A waitress came over and took everyone order, and then not much longer after, food was set down. John was right, the portions were small and pretentious. John promised Phillip they would get pizza, and then everyone began eating. Henry Sr. and Alex talked mostly politics, and John could tell Alex was getting a bit exhausted by it. Henry Sr. was what John would call a respectable politician. If he was going to commit a crime, it would be embezzlement or something. He was clean, and could easily articulate himself, which didn't always make him right but made him seem right. John absolutely hated arguing with his father, which is why he continued to talk to his siblings and son.

"A wall would seriously help immigration problems," Henry Sr. pointed out, leaning back. "I mean, we have people coming into this country, illegally, when they could very easily come into it legally. It's not about keeping immigrants out, it's about keeping criminals out."

"It's not easy, though," Alex stated. "As someone who has gone to the Mexican border when children were first being put in cages, I saw lines of hundreds of cars moving a mile a day. It's not easy for people to enter this country, and frankly, a wall won't help anything. Yes, I see your point about illegal immigration, but have you ever considered that immigrants will not be stopped by a wall? If we want border security and legal immigrants, then we make more checkpoints, we make applying for citizenship easier, and instead of caging children, we build aid buildings on the Mexican side of the border for people seeking refuge to stay and be safe in so they can get any papers they need to get before coming into the country."

"And how much will all of this cost?" Henry Sr. asked.

"Less than three billion dollars," Alex stated.

"Do you boys have anything better to do than talk politics?" Martha asked. "Obviously you two don't agree, but we're in the middle of New York, so why on earth would you be talking about this, when neither of you have any real control over what happens."

Alex leaned back, folding his hands together and offering a small but obviously about to say something that had a different meaning. "Martha is right, just like me. Let's have dinner, after all, how many times have you guys been to New York?"

"Why do you talk like that?" Jemmy asked.

"Like what?" Alex asked.

"You don't say your r's," Jemmy stated.

"It's a New York accent," Alex shrugged. "I've lived here since I was seventeen, so my accent is pretty strong." Alex smiled. "I've been waiting for John to start talking like a New Yorker, but he still has a southern accent."

"Okay, you've lived here twice the amount of time I have," John defended. "And Phillip talks like a New Yorker, so."

"How do I talk like a New Yorker?" Phillip asked.

"Oh! He said New Yorker the way a New Yorker says it!" Alex cheered. "Catch up, John, Phillip only been speaking for six years and his accent is better than yours."

"I think my southern accent is cute," John smiled.

Alex definitely had to bite his tongue to stop himself from being so painfully obvious about how much he and John were flirting. "It's the only reason the guy at the coffee place by your work always gives you a free scone."

"You east coasters are suckers for a southern accent," John chuckled.

"Maybe you should get into New York politics and something might actually get done for once," Alex laughed.

John rolled his eyes. "Martha, how's college been going?"

"Oh, no, John, I want to hear about all the free scones you get at the coffee shop," Martha teased, leaning forward and moving her hands rapidly to sign.

"It happened twice, and then I got a phone number, so I went in with my friend who made it look like I was taken just so they would back off," John retold, remembering the sweet date he and Alex had gone on there.

"Who?" Henry Sr. asked.

"My friend Maria," John answered.

"And what of you and Maria?" Henry Sr. asked. "You two like each other?"

John bit his lip, thinking. It was quite awkward for his father to be asking this while his boyfriend was two seats away from him. "As friends, yes. I really don't want to date right now. I'm too busy, and if there was someone, they'd have to be good with Phillip, spend time with us, and have a stable job, which, believe it or not, is difficult to find in New York."

Alex smiled a bit. He was good with Phillip, he spent time with them, and he had a stable. Job. He was picking up on John's subtle hints, his gentle reminders.

"I gotta go potty," Phillip said to Alex.

"Oh, okay, let's go," Alex stated, standing up.

"Go where?" John asked.

"Bathroom," Alex answered quickly.

"Oh, okay," John nodded, smiling as Alex lead Phillip towards the bathroom. It was almost like letting out a breath of fresh air. John's family was kind of intense, and Alex definitely felt a bit outcasted, but wouldn't fake an emergency for Phillip's sake. Alex figured he and Phillip would probably be spending a lot of time together over the next two weeks, and Alex was okay with that. At least he wasn't gonna be alone.

"You got everything handled?" Alex asked as they walked into the bathroom. Phillip nodded and went into a stall while Alex leaned over the sink, his nostrils flaring from the scent of bathroom polo. He always hated expensive restaurants for this very reason. Everything reeked of cologne.

"It smells weird in here," Phillip commented, coming out to wash his hands.

Alex nodded. "It's called cheap cologne, and as long as I'm alive, you will never wear any." Alex looked over at Phillip. "What kind of pizza do you want? Or would you rather have something else? We can pick anything up on the way home since you know New York has every type of food open twenty-four hours a day."

"I want those Thai buffalo wings," Phillip stated. "The messy ones."

Alex smiled and nodded. "Yes, that's at the joint Thai and Italian place over on fifteenth. If your dad wants pizza, he can get a mini one. I'll have, curry actually sounds good, and then you have the Thao buffalo wings."

"Why don't they serve actual food in this place?" Phillip asked as they began walking back to the table.

"Because rich people don't eat," Alex answered. "They feast off of lower-class labor and sweat, so when they're at restaurants, they don't need to eat much at all."

Phillip thought for a second as he sat down, then looked up at his grandfather's plate, which did seem hardly touched as he talked. "Grandpa, do you feast on lower-class labor?"

Alex almost spit out his water, John yelped, and Phillip simply did not know why he got such intense reactions. Henry Sr. had a stern look on his face, eyebrows raised as he looked from Phillip, who had an innocent look on his face, to John, who seemed flustered and embarrassed, then finally to Alex, who was holding back laughs and trying to swallow his water.

"Phillip," John scolded lightly.

"No, 'cause Alex said that the rich eat the labor and sweat of lower class, so that's why restaurants don't serve a lot of food, and grandpa hasn't eaten anything on his plate," Phillip explained.

Alex covered his face with his hands as he tried not to laugh but continued laughing. The whole situation was hilarious to him. It felt like the big 'fuck you' Alex had been wanting to give Henry Sr. since the two met.

"Alex," John scolded.

"He asked why they didn't serve a lot of food!" Alex defended. "He might as well know the truth."

John shook his head, sighing. "You both are the reason I get migraines."

Alex smiled, fist-bumping Phillip. "John says that, but he adores us.

John rolled his eyes. "I adore it when y'all are quiet too."

Dinner went by, and soon enough, Alex, Phillip, and John were sitting in the joint Thai Italian place, eating actual food, not just a handful of an appetizer-sized snack. Alex was very happy with his curry, and the same went for Phillip and his Thai buffalo wings. John was about halfway through a mini pizza he ordered, and it was nice.

"Oh, babe," John mumbled, leaning forward with a napkin. "You got a little something." John wiped a bit of curry off of Alex's cheek, then kissed the spot. "All better."

Alex smiled cheekily. "I think dinner went well."

"You guys did ask my dad if he fed off of the labor of the lower class, but yeah, it wasn't awful," John chuckled. "I'm surprised you two didn't have a fistfight while y'all talked about politics. I mean, wow."

"Your dad and I agree that there should be border security, we just disagree on how it should happen," Alex stated, taking another bite of his food. "God, why do we ever eat anywhere else but here? It's like, absolutely perfect. It spans from Thai food to Italian food, and a big old mess of in between, and it's the best. This should cater whatever celebrations we have."

"I'm not having Thai Italian food at our wedding," John deadpanned.

Alex smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Because for the sake of my mother, I would like traditional Puerto Rican food," John stated.

"I got it, Puerto Rican and Jewish food, yeah?" Alex negotiated.

"Perfect," John replied, laughing a bit. "A great blend of cultures."

Alex laughed. "Phillip, do you want to be the flower boy or the ring boy?"

"Flower boy," Phillip answered instantly. "I wanna throw the petals."

"Okay, and Basil can be our ring dog," John stated, taking another bite of his pizza. "God, we really gotta go Christmas shopping. We cannot do what we did last year. Phillip, would you like me to help you with your Christmas list?"

Phillip nodded. "I wanna get a Spiderman suit, like Miles' suit."

"I really like this phase," John stated. "Spider-Verse was a good movie, and the soundtrack was killer."

"Can't believe they had The Notorious B.I.G in that movie," Alex snorted. "Okay, let's do a little Christmas planning, and we can go Christmas shopping with your brothers and sisters."

John smiled, leaning in and kissing Alex's cheek. "You're perfect." 

  
  



	24. There's trouble in the air, you could smell it

Everyone was loaded up in the van. Phillip was in the passenger seat, Alex in the drivers, while John and his siblings were in the back. Henry Sr. was tending to some work, so to Alex's joy and John's disappointment, he was not there. John was sitting in the first row of seats with Henry and Jemmy on either side of him. Both of them liked the window seat, and because John was mature, John sat in the middle. Henry always liked the window because it was next to the speaker so if the radio was playing, he could touch the speaker and feel the music. Jemmy liked the window because he liked counting the trees. Behind them were Martha and Mary. Martha was currently fixing Mary's hair, since the unruly curls had started to slip out of her ponytail.

"Music?" Alex asked.

"Oh, plug my phone into the aux cord, John. Get to the playlist we all made together. You know what song we should play first," Martha stated.

John grinned, grabbing her phone and plugging it into the aux. He found the playlist, then turned on the song Martha was talking about. Whispers played through the car, chanting a nickname John had had back in high school.

"Seizure boy, seizure boy," it whispered. Then, the song began. "The first thing that happens is the world goes black. You just hear a little snap when your neck rolls back. You don't bite your tongue or foam at the lips, but before you hit the ground, there's a moment of bliss." Martha and John began to rap along while Jemmy, Mary and Henry did their best. "It's like toking a spliff, it's like shedding your skin. It's better than the best train wreck that's ever been."

Alex looked over at Phillip, chuckling as John sang with his siblings. They all seemed to really like this song, and Alex couldn't blame them. It was a good song with a good beat. The group was headed out to do some Christmas shopping. John’s siblings had been there in New York for about a week now, and Alex had gotten used to it. He had become friends with some of the siblings, and had avoided John's dad. He and Phillip stuck together, since both of them felt a little out of place, but Alex made sure Phillip got enough attention, and once John's siblings had gone to the hotel for the night, John became himself again.

"And if the world breaks your legs you go and beat it with your crutch!" John sang happily, pumping his fist. Henry was nodding his head along to the bass of the beat, which was what he felt coming through the car speakers. Alex was kind of surprised how much of this song John knew. John was rapping with his sister, back and forth.

"Someone, please, get the medic, let him breath!" Martha sang.

"And I'll be the baddest mother fucking epileptic I can be!" John sang back, punctuating his line with a dab, which made Alex gag and brought cackles from Henry and Jemmy. John continued rapping with the song though, laughing still. "I would grieve asking why's it me? Sleeping in the ER, with an IV in my arm and my V card hurting, saying 'God fuck If I'ma die a virgin, I'ma grab the first nurse working, flirt and draw the curtain.' So who's perking doctor Phil's pills? Tyler Durden still ill, thrillville, Uma Thurman hurting in the Kill Bills. This is to my sick kid. Time to flip this shit. Depakote, Adderall, Ritalin, pixie stix. I don't give a fuck what you ridin' to the setting sun. Use it as a weapon when it's said and done."

Alex had to admit, he was a little surprised at how many lyrics John really knew. He had never heard John singing this song, and yet he figured it must be practically ingrained in his boyfriend's head. The ride to the big mall was almost short, filled with a lot of singing. Phillip was very excited to just be sitting in the front seat.

When the got to the mall, everyone got out, Phillip instantly asking to be picked up by his father, who complied, setting the kid on his hip. Alex, out of habit, began to reach for John's hand, but quickly pulled it away when he remembered the act they were supposed to be putting on for everyone. It killed him to see those pretty eyes, that radiant smile, and that warm brown summer skin, and not be able to reach for John’s hand. Even when they were just friends, they were more physical than this. To be fair though, when they’d been just friends, there’d been a lot of pining going on.

"I don't think we've gone Christmas shopping together in, what, eight years?" Martha suggested. 

"Yeah, eight years," John agreed. "It's been a damn long while."

"Hey, maybe next year you can come down, see the house again," Martha chimed. "Some of your old high school friends, like Jasper and Connor are still in town."

"Wait, Jasper? As in Jasper Harrington?" Alex asked.

"Yes, why?" Martha looked over at Alex, who was now chuckling.

"Oh, no reason," Alex stated, still laughing. "I've just heard a few stories about a certain Jasper Harrington. From what I heard, he encouraged John's little emo phase." Alex bumped into John. "Right, John?"

John rolled his eyes, scoffing. "Do not make me regret showing you all those photos of me."

Alex threw his arm around John, making a teasing pouting face. "No! I love little baby Johnny!"

"That's gay," John snorted.

"Maybe," Alex laughed. "But I think my ex wife would have something to say about that. And her sister. And her sister's friend."

"Jesus, Alex," John gasped.

"Sounds like someone gets around," Martha commented.

"Back when I was a young grasshopper with the body of a God? Absolutely," Alex stated. "But then I  _ aged.  _ I keep telling John he better find someone quick because your thirties hit you like a bag of bricks."

"He likes to make fun of himself because he doesn't think he's handsome," John explained to Martha.

"It wasn't my looks that got me re-elected, lemme tell you that," Alex smiled. "In fact, it wasn't any part of me. It was Katie. We still owe her and her husband a dinner and like, a bottle of wine. I love her."

"She was great, and she's the reason we have a dog," John chuckled. She was also the reason they’d had some  _ really _ good sex, but John wasn't about to say that in front of his sister, for multiple reasons.

"Basil," Phillip smiled, giggling a bit.

"Papa's gonna put you down," John stated, setting Phillip down but still holding his hand as they entered the mall. "Okay, y'all, where do we need to go? Who do we need to buy for?"

"I got a few friends back home to get gifts for, and so does Henry," Martha stated. "Mary wants to get a gift for her teacher, and Jemmy, what about you?"

"John," Jemmy deadpanned. "Gift for John."

"Okay, Alex, what about you?" John asked.

"I'll get gifts for the friends, Laf and Herc, James and Tommy boy, Sally and Peg leg. I know Peggy wanted some new scarves, and James wanted books, oh, and we might as well just get an engagement present, because let's face it, that's a tick about to pop." Alex chuckled a bit. "Laf has got a ring picked out and everything."

"Sweet, and they'll be coming over for a skinny minute on Christmas, because they're like family to us," John stated.

"Yeah, that works," Alex smiled. "Alright, time to conquer Christmas shopping. "Oh, John, I'll take Phillip so he can get your present."

"I'll take Jemmy so he can get your present," Martha offered.

"And I’ve got Henry and Mary," John finished. "Let's meet at the food court in, oh, I dunno, an hour? Will that be good?"

"Sweet," Alex nodded, taking Phillip hand. "See you soon, dude."

John had to hold back a laugh at that one. "Yeah, bro, see you soon."

Alex and Phillip began walking, as well as everyone else. Alex knew he also had to get John a gift, and had honestly, not much of an idea what to get him. John never asked for anything. Herc had given Alex a few suggestions, for the second year in a row, but Alex was still a bit at a loss.

"Do you know what you want to get your dad?" Alex asked Phillip as they wandered through the shops.

"No," Phillip answered.

"Yeah, me neither," Alex chuckled. "I don't know, what does your dad even like?"

"Me, and you," Phillip answered.

"Well, we could definitely wrap ourselves up and sit under the tree, but I don't think that would be a very good gift, since he's always had us. I dunno, socks?" Alex suggested.

"Socks aren't a good gift!" Phillip gasped, laughing.

Alex nodded, thinking. "You're right. Let's see, should we get him a bra?"

Phillip laughed even harder. "My papa doesn't have  _ boobs. _ Maybe we could get him pretzels. He eats pretzels."

"Mm, a soft pretzel sounds so good," Alex thought. "Ooh, this shop is spelled with an Anarchist A, so let's try that one."

Alex and Phillip walked in, and Alex was surprised at the amount of protest art there actually was. Tee shirts, posters, stuff like that, with a big sign saying half the profits when towards ending slavery in eastern countries. Alex couldn't help but let out an approving hum at that as he and Phillip began to explore the shop.

"Hello, can I help you find something?" A shop keep asked, coming over to Alex and Phillip, who both looked a little lost.

"Yes, actually," Alex replied, smiling. "We're looking for a gift for his father, who despises capitalism and, well, the government in general. Do you have anything like that?"

The woman smiled. "Sounds like he has good taste. We have a whole section dedicated to capitalism, and then the government."

"Papa says we're socialists," Phillip stated randomly.

"Your dad and I have that in common," the shop keep smiled. She looked to Alex, her wide smile still plastered on her face. "Family friend?"

"It might be easier to find a gift for him that way," Alex laughed. "No, no, I'm this little dude's step dad."

The woman nodded, then borderline dramatically gestured her arm to the section. "Here you go. Have fun, and if you need anything else, I'll be here."

"Thanks," Alex nodded. "Alright, buddy, go wild."

Phillip began looking through things, laughing at a little figurine of Donald Trump in the guillotine. Alex also looked, but figured he'd get John a copy of his favorite book. The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde. It was witty and fun, and Alex knew John would like it. Alex had momentarily dabbled with the idea of a promise ring, but decided against it for a couple of reasons.

"We... have... the tools," Phillip spoke slowly, reading a shirt. Phillip was getting better at reading, about where a kid his age should be. "To make..." Phillip thought for a second. "Alex, what are the last two words?"

Alex kneeled down, smiling at the tee shirt Phillip picked out. "We have the tools to make presidents disappear."

"What does that mean?" Phillip asked.

"It means that we can make the entire government disappear with the supplies we have currently. Do you think your papa will like this one?" Alex asked, smiling a bit.

"Do you think he will?" Phillip questioned, looking at Alex.

Alex nodded, remembering how John had said something similar to this at least three times. "Yes, I do think he will like it, but do you want to get it for him?"

Phillip nodded. "I see something I wanna give you, so you close your eyes until it's in the bag and I'll lead you through the shop."

"Okay, I've got a better idea, how about instead of doing that, you get the gift, wrap it in the shirt, and then the lady can scan them and bag them without me looking, and then I pay and I don't look in the bag, yes?" Alex suggested.

"You promise you won't look?" Phillip said, holding up his pinky. "Pinky promise?"

Alex nodded, linking his pinky with Phillip's. "I triple pinky promise."

"Okay, close your eyes," Phillip requested. Alex did as told, and Phillip grabbed Alex's gifts, wrapping it in the shirt for his father. When it was totally wrapped, Phillip tapped Alex's shoulder. "You can open your eyes now."

Alex smiled and stood up, leading Phillip to the counter. Alex, once again, closed his eyes until everything was in the bag, then swiped his card, taking the bag and tying it shut so he wouldn't accidentally look at it. "Alright, buddy. We're gonna go buy gifts for friends. Do you have any gifts you wanna get for your friends?"

"I wanna get a gift for George, and Theo!" Phillip stated. "When is Theo moving up here?"

"Well, her parents found a house, so they should be up here by next month, and I made sure Aaron knew where you went to school so he could enroll Theo too," Alex explained.

"Yay!" Phillip cheered. "I love Theo. We're gonna get married."

Alex's brows raised, and he nodded. "Okay."

"You're invited to the wedding," Phillip stated. "You and Papa."

Alex smiled and shook his head, offering a gentle pat on Phillip's shoulder. "You know what, Phillip? That sounds great. I'll make sopapillas for dessert."

Phillip beamed and they continued shopping. Shopping like this reminded Alex of when he took Phillip on that big shopping spree back when he and John were still just friends and roommates was a fairly new term that applied to Alex's life. He felt wonderful though, and always loved spending time with Phillip. Alex was starting to get homesick for family again.

About an hour later, everyone met up in the food court with bags of stuff. Both Alex and John had to resist the urge they got to peck each other on the lips. It was sweet casual things they never realized they did until they couldn't do them which made all of this a little worse. It was the habits, the _damned_ _habits_ , that really killed them. It's been proven that it takes three days to break a habit, but John and Alex couldn't seem to lose the casual love, most likely because they did it whenever they could. From John sneaking Alex kisses when he was in the kitchen getting coffee, to the two of them sending each other loving text messages.

"Okay, where does everyone want to eat?" John asked. He had Alex drooling at the Big Dad Energy that he was letting off.

"Soft pretzel," Phillip stated.

Alex nodded. "Yeah, that. That sounds really good."

"Pretzels," John smiled. "Yes, pretzels."

"Henry wants pizza, and so does Jemmy, and Mary and I want sushi," Martha stated. "We'll meet back up at that table, alright?"

John nodded and the small family walked over to Annie's pretzels. John looked around, making sure his siblings were a distance away before taking Alex's hand in his own and kissing the older man's temple. Alex squeezed John's hand, leaning against him as they stood in line. Phillip was leaning back against both of them, and it was a sweet moment of family affection. Alex's head fell against John's shoulder, and it was like a moment of recharging. John’d forgotten how much energy his southern family took. He loved them, no doubt about that, but he hadn’t missed those passive aggressive southern hints. He had grown so used to having a timed schedule living in New York, because it seemed as though every day life needed to line up with the Subway schedule, or the traffic schedule. Southerners didn't understand how fast you needed to move in New York.

"I adore you," John said softly, squeezing Alex's hand.

Alex couldn't help but smile and resist the urge to pull his boyfriend into the most intensely loving kiss he could. Alex jumped when his phone began ringing. A ringtone Alex had set for one specific person.

Alex groaned, answering it. "Eliza, why?"

"Hiya, gorgeous," Eliza sang. "It's nice that you still pick up for me."

"Skip the pleasantries," Alex sighed, earning a concerned look from John. "It's not every day I get a call from Satan's booty call, so what do you want?"

"Dear, remember all those pictures of Franny?" Eliza sighed. "I seemed to have misplaced mine during a move, and I was wondering if you could scan over the copies you have. Even the ones with you in them."

At the mention of his daughter, Alex swallowed hard, but pushed the emotions down. "Yeah, I can do that."

"Oh, that's wonderful," Eliza laughed. "How are you? Still with what's his face?"

"John, andyes," Alex confirmed, rolling his eyes.

"How cute," Eliza stated. "Anyway, I've gotta run. I've got a date."

"Tell him I said run," Alex mumbled.

"Anything for you, sweetie," Eliza replied sweetly. "Love you, Lexi."

"See you in hell," Alex responded before hanging up.

"What did she want?" John asked as they got closer to the front of the line.

Alex just shrugged, smiling at John. "She just wanted me to scan and send over my pictures of Franny. Apparently she lost hers in a move or something. I don't think Eliza and I will ever lose contact, and I don't know how to feel about it."

"Don't you hate her?" John asked.

"It's hard to love her, but harder to hate her," Alex stated. "Liz and I will always have some sort of twisted connection. I mean, we loved each other in our own weird ways, we had a kid, we were each other's first real relationships. We hate each other, but when it comes down to it, we wouldn't want anything to happen to the other."

John cocked and eyebrow at that.

"You know what I mean," Alex scoffed. "Can we please get back to our happy day Christmas shopping?"

John sighed, kissing Alex's forehead. "You're the human version of a headache."

"I really am, aren't I?" Alex chuckled as they got to the front of the line.

John nodded. "You really are." John looked to the kid at the front counter and smiled. "Hi, hon, could we get three soft pretzels with cheese, and three waters, please?"

"Sure thing, that'll be fourteen twenty-seven, credit or debit?" The kid asked.

"Debit," John answered, pulling out his card and swiping it, then signing the little key pad.

"Alright, we'll have that right out for you," the kid smiled, going in the back to make it while someone else took over the cash register.

"Why do you say please?" Alex asked as they walked over to the counter where their food would be delivered. "I mean, not to sound like a capitalist or baby boomer or anything, but it is their job, so why thank them?"

"Because when I worked fast food, the only highlight was the nice customers who said please and thank you, cleaned up their tables for us, put their trays in the tray counter, and didn't yell or curse at the workers for a messed up order. I say please because I've been in his shoes. I don't blame you for not getting it, you've never really worked in the food industry."

"I worked at a bookshop," Alex countered.

"So did I, and let me tell you, compared to the food industry, a bookshop is heaven. People are hell when it comes to food, and I've had my fair share of times where I had to stand between a terrifyingly angry customer and a scared sixteen year old. The moment someone works a lower class job, they are considered subhuman." John shrugged, picking up their tray with their food to go to the big table. "It sucks, but it's true."

Alex nodded, making sure Phillip was with them. "The more stories I hear about your past jobs, the more I understand why you hate capitalism."

"One cannot truly hate capitalism if they have a silver spoon sticking out of their mouth. Money corrupts weaks souls," John stated. "I mean, seriously, you think Jeff Bezos would still be fine with the world we live in if he was homeless with barely a dollar to his name?"

Alex nodded, sitting down next to John. "I suppose you're right."

"I am right," John stated as Phillip sat down next to him on the other side.

"Call the press, John thinks he's right again," Martha commented sarcastically as she wheeled over to the table with Mary, Henry and Jemmy not far behind. "What is it this time?"

"Capitalism sucks," John stated, ripping off a piece of his soft pretzel and dipping it in the cheese. "Trickle down economics don’t work, and money corrupts weak souls."

"It's just how the government works though," Martha stated as Henry and Jemmy sat down with them. "There's nothing we can do."

"Screw the government," John scoffed.

"I am the government," Alex laughed, looking over at John. A suggestive smile fell over the older man's face as he looked at John. John looked back, eyebrows raised, but a small smile on his lips too. It was a bit of a moment, not broken until Henry tapped John's chair with his foot to get John’s attention.

' _ That's gay _ ,' Henry signed, laughing a bit.

' _ Fuck you _ ,' John signed back playfully.

"Language!" Martha gasped. "What did Henry say?"

"Nothing," John chuckled, taking another bite of his food. "And, Martha, just for the record, you're wrong. There is something we can do about it."

"And what's that?" Martha asked.

"Either elect the right people, become a parliament, or just straight up get rid of the government," John stated. "No offense Alex."

"No, no, I don't mind," Alex nodded. "If there was no government I could write my book."

"You have a book?" John asked.

"I have like, forty notebooks in my attic that I would like to one day translate over onto my computer, in English," Alex stated. "I mean, I think half of it is in Spanish, the other half is in French. I rarely wrote in English."

"When did you learn Spanish and French?" Martha asked.

"I learned Spanish growing up, and then my mother started teaching me French, and then when I moved to America, I had to start learning English," Alex explained. "I've gotten better at this freaking language over the years, and I have been speaking it for like, twenty years, but I always have slip ups."

"If you would practice your English when the Duolingo owl asks you to, I'm sure you would have an easier time," John pointed out.

"Spanish or vanish, John," Alex whispered softly. "I don't want the Duolingo owl to come and eat my family because I forgot the word for..." Alex trailed off. "Oh my god. John, what's that word?"

"Which one?" John asked.

"No, this is the second time I've lost it," Alex grumbled. "You know? The one I forgot that day and Adams was an ass about it? You know?"

"Encumbent," John stated.

"Yes!" Alex cheered. "God, you know, I learned a different version of English than you guys did."

John raised a brow.

"It's true! I didn't learn in a school, I learned from the people around me who also spoke English, but spoke Spanish as well. I was taught a very casual dialect of English, which is why I write all my reports in French or Spanish. I'm smarter in those languages." Alex took a bite of his food. "English is a dumb language."

"Well hold on, what do you mean that there's different versions of English?" Martha asked. "Like, last time I checked, there's one version."

"That's the first lie catholic school has fed you," Alex pointed out. "You know how Spanish has different dialects? So does English. Of course, my English has been polished over the years, especially as a government worker, but I learned English from other bilingual people in impoverished neighborhoods in the nineties. I definitely talked in a different dialect for a while."

John, who had never really knew this, smiled and looked at Alex. "Like how?"

Alex rolled his eyes, smiling. "I talked like a rapper,and I refuse to talk like that again because people called me stupid for it."

"They’re stupid," John mumbled. "Why?"

"Because they couldn't wrap their heads around the idea that English was my third language and that I learned English from street talk," Alex stated. "I'm much smarter in Spanish."

"You talk in French in your sleep," John informed him.

Martha laughed. "Why do you know that?"

John had a quick second of panic, then laughed it off. "We're bachelors living together in a big house. If you really think the three of us haven't all passed out in the living room while watching a kids movie, then I've got a lot to tell you about what happens when you put three guys in a house and let them roam."

The table snickered at that.

"I don't even want to know what kind of disgusting things happen," Martha gagged. "John was an absolute pig when he was a teenager."

"He was?" Alex asked.

John groaned.

Martha laughed. "He was a total pig. Clothes everywhere, room smelled like a teenage boy. He was bad about hygiene when he didn't have to go to school, and the only time he actually left his room outside of his schooling was dance classes."

"I went to parties with Jasper!" John defended. "And in my defense, I was depressed."

"Excuses," Martha scoffed.

"Mental illness is a reason, not an excuse," Alex stated.

Martha gave him an odd look.

Alex shrugged. "My therapist, when I sought therapy after the war, I told her I didn't want to use my PTSD as an excuse to not do things other people were doing, and she told me it wasn't an excuse, it was a reason. I'm not avoiding flashing movies with gunshots and explosions with some half-assed excuse. I have a valid reason, and John did to."

"He's right," John stated. "Come on, don't even with me. There have been plenty of times I've helped you pick up your room."

Martha rolled her eyes. "I just  _ had  _ to have an older brother."

John smiled cheekily. "You love me. I'm your favorite."

Henry kicked John's shin. ' _ I'm her favorite. _ '

John looked offended. ' _ Like hell you are. _ '

Martha rolled her eyes. ' _ You both are my favorite. _ '

Henry stuck his tongue out at John, and was greeted with a flying piece of pretzel. Alex couldn't help but smile at the way John interacted with his siblings. It was like Alex was getting a peak into John being a kid. Alex checked on Phillip, who was talking to Jemmy and Mary, obviously entertained. Alex knew that Phillip probably wanted to be with people his own age, since Mary and Jemmy were thirteen and fifteen, but Phillip looked entertained enough, so that was good.

When everyone finished eating, they all made their way into the big Old Navy in the mall. Everyone sort of spread out, Alex just browsing the pajama section for matching family pajamas for a family Christmas photo. He thought it would be cute, and kept in mind, or tried to keep in mind, the textures that Phillip didn't like. Alex understood where Phillip was coming from. Alex absolutely despised the feeling of sand. When they were in California, he wore flip flops on the beach at all times, and sat on a chair or towel to read.

"Hiya, cutie," John smiled, hooking his arm around Alex's waist and pulling him closer.

"John!" Alex squealed, laughing a bit. "Aren't you supposed to be parenting?"

"Phillip is currently way to engrossed in a conversation about art with Jemmy to pay me any attention, and Henry was supervising, so I thought I might as well sneak a bit of lovin' in with my sweet Alexander," John explained, planting a gentle kiss on Alex's forehead.

Alex smiled and wrapped his arms around John's neck. "Mm, I like it when you surprise me. Like last night, when I woke up because your dick was basically stabbing my thigh."

John smiled, squeezing Alex's butt. "You remember what we did next?"

Alex snicked and leaned in, pecking John's lips. "Yeah, I do. You really love to screw the government, don’t you?"

"It's my favorite hobby," John replied.

Alex smiled, staring into John's eye, chuckling at the quiet song playing over the intercom. "This is Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston."

John chuckled, gently swaying to the beat. "It is. I bopped to this song  _ hard _ ."

Alex laughed. "Of course you did, John."

John sighed happily, leaning in and gently kissing Alex. Alex smiled and kissed back, pulling John closer and standing on his tiptoes a bit to reach John's height. John pulled Alex's hips closer, laughing as they continued the kiss. It was sweet, comfortable, and homely. Granted, it was in the pajama section of Old Navy with a shitty nineties pop song playing over a staticy intercom, but it felt so perfect in that moment.

It was in moments like these, John felt like he was falling. It felt like he was letting go of everything he knew, every barrier and wall he had built up. Moments like these felt like a breath of fresh air. John had never felt so at home with someone. He had never felt more safe, more comfortable. Something about Alex made him feel okay. Maybe it was because John knew Alex expected nothing more from him. Maybe it was because he knew Alex was fine with just being. John had never liked the idea of marriage, especially not after Frances, but he could see himself standing in front of Alex, slipping a ring onto his finger, kissing him. John, for once in his life, was okay with someone else taking another fatherly role in Phillip's life. Alex was just perfect.

"What the-."

John broke away from Alex, gasping when he looked over to see Martha, sitting there and staring at them, arms crossed. Blood rushed into John's cheeks, cotton filled up his throat, and it felt like he was descending into one of the seven circles of hell as he stared back at his sister. Instantly, his mind filled with excuses.

"I fell," John spat out.

Martha clearly didn't buy it.

"It's a French tradition," John continued. "And Alex speaks French."

Martha raised her eyebrows, her face unchanging.

"He had something in his eye," John continued. When he saw that she, once again, didn't believe him, he stopped, looking down and swallowing hard.

Martha chuckled darkly. "No, this is fun for me, John. Keep going."

"It's a New Yorker thing?" John tried, hoping for one last bit of redemption.

Martha rolled her eyes, thinking. "How long?"

"How long what?" John asked. If he couldn't fool her, then he would play dumb. He would play dumb until the cows came home. If there was one thing John was a pro at, it was being a stupid bitch when he needed to.

"Oh, don't you dare act stupid, John Laurens," Martha snapped. "You know what I mean."

"Fourteen months," John whispered.

"Jesus Christ," Martha muttered. "Fourteen months and all I get on the phone is some sorry excuse of being too busy to date?"

"I didn't think you'd like it," John admitted softly.

"I  _ don't _ like it, but I'm your sister, I would hope you would think of me with high enough standards to know that this isn't going to change anything," Martha deadpanned.

John looked up, swallowing hard. "It's not?"

Martha, once again, rolled her eyes. "Look, I don't get it, and I don't condone it, you know that. Frankly though, you two were almost too obvious about it. I'm not exactly shocked." Martha paused, thinking. "Does he treat you well?"

"I wouldn't date him if he didn't," John replied.

"That's a lie," Martha scoffed. "How often do you guys fight?"

"We've actually had a real argument, like, twice," John stated.

"Alex, you obviously know John is a father, and you don't treat his kid like a tag along, or a bother, correct?" Martha continued.

Alex nodded. "I love Phillip, he's the best."

Martha looked back to John. "Is he the first, you know... guy you've, like, dated or whatever?"

John shook his head. "Jasper was the first."

Martha's eyes widened. "Jasper? Jesus Christ, obviously Catholic school doesn't do shit. I thought you had been, like, with women? I mean, you do have a kid."

John shrugged. "I don't really care if it's a man or woman, Marty. I've been with both." John paused, sighing. "Please don't tell dad. You know he, he just." John felt a lump building in his throat. "I just got you guys back, and Marty, I can't do another seven years. I can't do another seven years of sneaking phone calls, and with you out of the house, I just, I can't lose you guys again."

Martha closed her eyes and nodded. "And we can't lose you again, John. I won't tell dad, I promise, on mom's soul."

John let out a sigh of relief.

"But," Martha started. "I think you need to tell Henry."

"What? No!" John gasped. "I didn't even want to tell you! My relationship status has nothing to do with my family life."

"I can't believe you're still smoking this bullshit, thinking nothing is connected to anything else," Martha groaned. "Alex, how you put up with him is beyond me."

Alex shrugged. "He’s easy compared to the Taliban."

"Gee, thanks," John mumbled sarcastically.

Alex just smiled, bumping into John. "The perks aren't half bad, either."

"Alright, before this gets too weird for me, I'm gonna just, like, stop you right there." Martha smiled, offering a thumbs up. "No, John, for real though, I don't care if you tell no one else ever for the rest of your life and keep pretending you're good at keeping a relationship secret, but you have to tell Henry. He deserves to know."

"No one deserves to know anything about me," John scoffed.

At this point, Alex found himself rolling his eyes. "Maybe you should listen to your sister."

"Listen to my sister? Why would I listen to my sister? She's family. It's like, textbook to never listen to your family," John protested.

"Hon," Alex said softly. "Maybe she had a reason. It's obvious she respects your privacy about this if she's not going to tell your father, so I don't think she's setting you up for embarrassment and fear when she asked you to tell your brother."

"Damn, John, I never thought I'd have to say this to you, but listen to your boyfriend," Martha laughed.

John rolled his eyes and groaned. "If this ends badly, Martha, I might fight you. I will numb out my legs so I can't walk and it's even, and then we can square the fuck up."

"Honey, I can take you any time, any place. Your legs only work to my advantage," Martha sassed. "Now, go back to whatever you were doing, and tell Henry. He needs to know. You won't regret it." She wheeled away, muttering something to herself.

John was quiet for a few moments and then looked at Alex. "Well that was just great."

"Hey, at least she knows, and at least you know that she's almost okay with it. I've never heard someone say 'I don't condone it' in a serious matter before, but you know, at least she didn't, like, yell or make a scene. It could be worse."

John sighed, resting his forehead against Alex's. "I love them, but what on earth prompted me to invite them up for two weeks? What kind of fuck ass idea was this?"

Alex just laughed, linking his fingers with John's. "Next year let's go down to South Carolina, and bother them for two weeks."

John just snorted at that. "Yeah, alright Alex. Next year, let's do that."

A few hours later, all of them had finally arrived at home, and they were set to wrap gifts. John, after receiving a look from Martha, places his arm around Henry's shoulders and lead him downstairs to the kitchen. John pulled out two cans of beer, placing one next to Henry.

' _ Drink _ ?' John signed before opening his own can.

' _ I never have _ ,' Henry signed back, looking at the can nervously.

' _ Do you want to _ ?' John asked.

Henry nodded.

John smiled a bit, sipping his own beer for a second before setting it back down. ' _ Then do it. No one better to drink with than your responsible adult brother _ .'

Henry opened the can and took a sip. He winced at the flavor, since beer wasn't exactly the best tasting drink in the world, but took another solid gulp before setting it down. ' _ It is awful. _ '

John nodded, laughing. ' _ Yeah, it would seem so. Don't worry, they do not all taste like this. I have a feeling you're more of a daiquiri kid anyway _ .'

Henry smiled, sipping his beer again before looking at John. ' _ As much as I love spending time with my brother, is there a reason you brought me down here? Other than the fact that Martha would kill us if she knew you were letting me have beer _ .'

John looked down at his beer for a second, which sat lonely on the counter, then looked back at Henry. 'S _ ometimes the way you were raised is not always the way you stay, you know _ ?'

Henry nodded.

John continued. ' _ And you get scared of telling the people you love the most, because you are so afraid of losing them, hurting them. I mean, I had a kid and I lost you all, for years _ .'

Henry nodded again.

' _ You know I love you, right? You know I love you all, and I would never try to hurt you guys, betray you guys, do anything that could cause stress or grief, not on purpose at least _ .' John sighed a bit, averting his eyes.

Henry bit his lip. ' _ What is going on _ ?'

' _ I'm dating a guy _ ,' John sighed quickly. ' _ And I really like him _ .'

John had to admit, he had prepared himself for a couple different scenarios. Anger, laughing, anything harsh and cruel. Despite Alex's urges to just listen to his sister, John still had an underlying fear that she was setting him up to be hated by his brother and outed to his father. Either way, John was not expecting what did happen. John did not expect Henry to cry.

John, concerned, took Henry in his arms, hugging the boy. Henry was crying quietly, but his shoulders still shook. He didn't push away or seem angry, so John considered that to be a good sign, but was still utterly confused. John did not know why this confession evoked tears, but hugged Henry regardless. John's fingers gently brushed through his brother's curly hair, just like he did with Phillip. It was almost a parental instinct that was taking over John as he comforted his brother, humming a bit so Henry could feel the vibrations in his chest, which always calmed him down. Henry was born deaf, and when he cried as a baby and John would hold him, he would hum. It's what their mother did too, and it helped Henry.

After a few minutes, Henry pulled out of the hug and wiped his cheeks, taking a deep breath and looking back at John with red eyes. ' _ Me too _ .'

...

John's eyebrows shot up. ' _ So I'm guessing the whole girlfriend thing I heard about was, well, not exactly the truest _ .'

' _ No, it was _ ,' Henry assured John. ' _ And then we broke up, and then my friend, he and I, we got closer, and then we, you know _ .'

John's eyes widened. ' _ Picture, now. _ '

Henry smiled and pulled out his phone, going into his Snapchat and then signed into his My Eyes Only, pulling up a picture of him. He was mixed, curly hair up in a fade, smiling and kissing Henry's cheek. ' _ His name is Gabe _ .'

John nodded, smiling. ' _ He is cute. Where did you meet him _ ?'

_ 'Art classes in town _ ,' Henry elaborated. ' _ He does not know sign, but he is trying to learn as quickly as possible, and it is so cute _ .'

John beamed at Henry. ' _ That is wonderful _ .'

' _ What about you _ ?' Henry asked, his hands moving at rapid music. He felt like a teenage girl in a gossip session with her sister, except he was a teenage boy in a gossip session with his brother.

John smiled, biting his lip. ' _ You know Alex _ .'

Henry's eyes widened. ' _ Really _ ? _ Alex _ ?'

John nodded. ' _ Yeah, he is nice. I really like him. We have been together for about fourteen months, and it is wonderfu _ l.'

' _ Why did you not tell me _ ?' Henry asked.

John shrugged. ' _ I could ask you the same thing _ .'

' _ Point made _ ,' Henry signed, laughing a bit.

_ 'Hey, we should talk more later, but for now, I do have gifts to wrap, _ ' John informed Henry, standing up. ' _ You want the rest of your beer _ ?'

Henry shook his head.

' _ Alright _ .' John chuckled, pouring both Henry's beer and his own into a big mug. The two of them made their way back upstairs, and John joined Alex, Basil, and Jemmy in Alex's office, wrapping gifts for other people. Alex and Jemmy were talking about art, and Jemmy was explaining in depth about the uses for India ink and how it was waterproof when it dried so you could use it as inking for watercolor paintings. Basil had his head in Alex's lap, and was obviously trying to get more attention that Alex was giving.

"Wow," Alex nodded. "That's really cool. I'm not much of an art person, but I never knew it was so complex."

"I don't know how you can not be an art person in Manhattan," Jemmy stated, his voice tripping a bit. "There's over nineteen art museums here alone, and there's works by Gogh, Warhol, Harring, Kapoor, and so many more."

"Let's take you to the MOMA," John suggested. "I'm sure we can find a day to do that. It'll be fun for you, and I really like it."

Jemmy smiled widely and nodded. "I've been to, to." He paused for a second, thinking, staring at the floor, which happened often. Jemmy referred to it as his brain momentarily shutting off, but his doctor said it was a mental stalling period caused by brain damage. "To every art museum in Charleston a million times, and I've only dreamed of going to the Museum Of Modern Art. Is it as beautiful as the picture?"

"More," John answered, smiling as he began to wrap up a present for Phillip, which was a spiderman onesie. Phillip was still in this Spiderman obsession phase, and so John was being supportive.

"Hey, John, I did get Phillip the Spider Verse soundtrack CD, but I don't know if he'll like that or..." Alex trailed off, shrugging a bit.

"No, that'll be great, ‘Lex, because my car doesn't have an aux cord, so we still listen to CDs, and he likes the Spider Verse soundtrack, so it'll be great," John stated, smiling over at Alex.

Alex returned the smile, leaning back a little bit. "Perfect."

-

It was Christmas eve. Because it was Christmas, John's siblings and father were sleeping over at the house. The whole living room had been done up with sleeping bags, comfortable pillows, and snacks. A Christmas movie played, and John leaned against the couch, munching on popcorn with Phillip on one side and Henry on the other. Alex and Henry Sr. sat on the couch. Alex was working, because he had to get a few things done before the break started. He was sitting in his pajamas, criss cross on the couch right behind John, staring at his laptop screen. John wanted to try and get him to stop working, but he still had to put up the roommate act.

"Wow, I really could just wreck New York's financial system right now," Alex muttered to himself. "Like, just destroy this whole state's financial structure."

"Ooh, how?" John asked, turning his head a bit.

"I'm restructuring it," Alex explained. "Well, not restructuring, not again. No, I'm just moving a few things around for Thomas' homeless shelter thing. I could also read off all of the government approved expenses for necessities which is, almost always, not a necessity. Oh, you can see who made the purchases too." Alex scrolled. "Lot of fancy dinners."

"At the Thai Italian place?" Phillip asked.

Alex smiled. "No, it's not considered professional to take someone to a place like that. I don't see why though, since it always has good food."

"Adults are weird," Phillip mumbled.

John closed his eyes and leaned his head back against Alex's laptop. "You could watch the movie with us, Alex."

"Hm? Oh, I am," Alex mumbled. "I focus better with I'm focusing on something else as well. It's cool. I like Nightmare Before Christmas anyway."

"We're watching Elf," John deadpanned.

Alex chuckled. "That's what I said."

John just rolled his eyes, flicking Alex's foot and going back to watching the movie. It was good, and John had always liked Will Ferrell, and watched his more inappropriate stuff when Phillip was too young to understand it.

When the movie ended, mostly everyone was tired, so John helped everyone get situated, offered a sweet smile to Alex, and then said goodnight. John's dad was still reading, Alex was still working. It was a quiet Christmas eve, but definitely nice. Alex munched on leftover popcorn as he wrote, trying to manage without the room he usually has to spread out his papers.

"Damned capitalism," Alex muttered quietly under his breath. He clicked out of the tab he was on and went to Facebook, messaging his brother about how Christmas eve is going, scrolling through photos. He smiled at a picture of Angie, who had posted a picture of herself with a few friends at a nice bar. Lafayette had posted a picture of him and Herc and William, all curled up on the couch. Alex smiled at that one, commenting a Christmas greeting. Despite the intense Calvinist Christianization of America, he still had never fully understood the whole deal about Christmas. It felt gross to Alex. He had never gotten time off for Jewish holidays, and Peggy had never gotten time off for Muslim holidays. Alex just didn't understand what made Christmas so important. White people, he supposed.

"How is my son really doing?" Henry Sr. asked. "He can't possibly be doing this well."

Alex turned his head to Henry Sr. and attempted to not pop off. "Well, believe it or not, he's a great parent, he's got a good job, great friends, and he's in good health. Mr. Laurens, with all due respect, you are in my house, and John is my friend, so please show him respect. My first rule in this house is that we don’t bring anyone else down, so if you’re only here to find the flaws your son is hiding from you, then I suggest you leave, because you are looking for something that doesn't exist."

"You don't know him like I do," Henry Sr. stated. "He's not as responsible as he makes himself seem. He's a good liar."

Alex nodded, thinking. "Well, considering we've been living together for seventeen months, I like to consider myself someone who knows John pretty well. You haven't seen him in seven years. You may know a version of John, but not this one. You must be a pretty good liar too, because I'm starting to believe you coming up wasn't about you wanting to try for him."

"What are you suggesting?" Henry Sr. asked.

Alex ran his tongue over his teeth. "I'm suggesting that whatever alternative motives you have, you put them aside, because John is extremely happy you're here, and it seems as though you’re trying to put a stop to that."

"He's my son, I will-"

"He's an adult," Alex argued, cutting Henry Sr. off. "He is not, and never has been your property. I suggest you let him be happy, because you don't know what kind of agony you brought onto him when you cut him off."

"It's always about the money," Henry Sr. scoffed.

"It was never about the money," Alex protested. "It was about the fact that John loves his siblings more than a lot of things in this life, and you took them away from him. Don't blame him for this. Own it. It's what happened."

Henry Sr. looked as though he was about to continue the argument, then thought better of it, rolling his eyes and going back to his book

Alex let out a long breath and looked down at John, who was on his side, hugging a pillow, snoring lightly. He looked sweet, and Alex wished he could lie down with him, hold him. He wanted to protect John, he really did, but Alex sometimes felt as though he didn't know how. Alex had absolutely zero trust in Henry Sr., but John seemed to idolize the man. Alex didn't understand it. He didn't understand how John could go from steady anger towards his dad to love and idolization. Alex did not trust that whiplash, because no healthy emotional epiphany happened like that. They had one five minute talk and suddenly it was okay? No, that was bullshit.

"Alex," Phillip whispered, sitting up. "I can't sleep."

Alex closed his laptop, standing up. "Come on, I'll make you the drink my momma made me when I couldn't sleep."

Phillip smiled and walked downstairs with Alex, Basil sleepily following both of them and curling up on his bed when they got down there. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Sometimes I'm just not tired for a while. I've never slept much anyway," Alex explained. "And I have some work I need to get done. Are you excited for Christmas?"

Phillip shrugged. "I wanna celebrate Hanukkah."

Alex chuckled, pouring milk into a small pot, turning it on low and beginning to stir it with a spoon while he grabbed the honey jar. "You know, I'm surprised. I didn't think you'd ever show interest in Jewish traditions."

Phillip shrugged. "Why not?"

Alex laughed a bit, pouring some honey into the pot as his continued stirring. "I don't know. Most kids don't really show much interest in stuff like this. Next year, next year we'll have a real Hanukkah celebration. I'll ask my brother to send up my mother's recipes. She had that attitude that just screamed 'do not mess with me.' She was my hero. She was a five foot three fire Jew, and she took crap from no one."

"Like you," Phillip laughed.

Alex shrugged. "Sort of. My mother and I are similar, but we are also different."

"What happened to your mom?" Phillip asked.

Alex smiled softly, putting a bit of cinnamon into the milk and honey. "She passed away. We lived on an island that had very poor medical care, and both her and I contracted yellow fever, and she passed away."

"What if we all get yellow fever?" Phillip asked worriedly.

"Oh, don't worry," Alex stated. "I don't think we'll ever even come close to contracting it, and if we did, we'd be able to just go to a doctor and be okay."

Phillip nodded. "Good. I don't want any of us to die."

Alex smiled, pouring the drink into a mug and handing it to Phillip. "Careful, it might be hot. Are you feeling sleepy?"

Phillip shook his head. "Sometimes I can't sleep at all."

Alex nodded understandingly. "Yeah, I understand that. Sometimes I can't sleep at all either, but I take medication for that. Do you get to sleep eventually?"

Phillip nodded. "I have to read or draw."

"What are you reading?" Alex asked.

"The One Thousand Year Old Boy," Phillip informed Alex, sipping his drink. "I wanna live to be a thousand."

"Me too," Alex chuckled.

"Are you and Papa gonna get married?" Phillip asked.

Alex smiled, shaking his head lightly as he stared over at a picture of the three of them on the wall. "I hope so. It would be nice. Some people are indifferent with marriage though, so if we don't, that'll be okay." Alex gently kissed the top of Phillip's head. "I love you very much Phillip. I'm very glad I've gotten the chance of having you in my life."

Phillip beamed, sipping his drink. "I love you too, Alex."

-

Christmas morning was a blur. Phillip had fallen asleep after finishing his drink, and Alex had curled up like a cat on the big black chair, his leg on the floor next to it. He woke up before anyone else, so he got on his leg then added a few extra presents to the pile. He had a few more for John and Phillip that were more family centric, so they were going to save those for afterwards. In the meantime, Alex did more work, waiting for everyone else to get up. John was first awake, and they snuck in a couple sweet kisses before Henry sat up and threw a pillow at them.

Soon enough, everyone was awake, and presents were being opened. Alex had gotten the bright idea of everyone getting their own bag to put their gifts in. Martha absolutely adored the MIT hoodie John had gotten her; something about supporting one's school, and how he had an NYU hoodie upstairs that he wore to this day. Phillip was hopped up on sugar, then had a quick crash before waking up and joining the festivities again. Basil, who seemed like he had never experienced Christmas before, was a little crazy, but mostly just licked Alex's face and knocked John over.

John was absolutely ecstatic at the shirt from Phillip, and the present gift got Alex, a mug that said 'if you can't beat them, join them' in cursive, made the older immigrant laugh and laugh and almost cry. It was a good year for gifts, and wrapping paper was everywhere, but people were happy.

John had Phillip on his lap, and was tickling the boy when the familiar sound of the door opening rang through the room. It caused Martha to look up with a concerned look on her face, but John and Alex just smiled, knowing exactly who it was.

"Uncle Herc!" Phillip cheered, running over to be picked up by Hercules.

"Hey, kiddo!" Herc smiled, hugging Phillip. "Merry Christmas!"

"And happy Hanukkah!" Phillip smiled.

Hercules nodded, a bit of a confused look on his face, but happy, nonetheless. "Happy Hanukkah." Herc set Phillip down and then smiled at John. "Merry Christmas, dude."

John stood up and hugged Hercules tightly. "Merry Christmas. I love you, brother." John let go and looked to a smiling Lafayette, who was smiling and hugging Lafayette. "Bonjour."

"Bonjour, John Laurens!" Lafayette smiled, leaning in and kissing both of John's cheeks. "What a beautiful wonderful day it is! I feel like the happiest man in the world, and so very in love."

John's eyebrows raised, but he turned to his family regardless, smiling. "Guys, this is my best friend Hercules, and his-"

"Fiance!" Hercules squealed, holding up his left hand.

John actually let out a shriek. "Oh my God!"

"You finally did it," Alex laughed, hugging Lafayette again.

"Let me see the ring!" John gasped, grabbing Herc's hand. "Oh my God, it's so beautiful. Alex, look at this. Look at how gorgeous it is."

"I designed it myself," Lafayette bragged.

"It's so pretty," John cooed. "I can't believe you finally popped the question. I mean, personally, I'm surprised you waited this long."

Lafayette rolled his eyes. "Barely. There were a couple times when I almost broke, but, well, I decided it was better to do this."

"Oh, my God, sit down, tell us what happened," John gasped, pulling Herc towards the couch. "Come on, spill the tea."

"Okay, okay, so we were opening presents right, and when I thought we were all done, Lafayette said he saw something kind of hidden, and of course, it was very well hidden, so he grabbed the box, turned to me, got down on one knee, and said this whole speech about how he loved me and loved William and couldn't stand to think of his life without us, and how he would wait a million years for me, and how he loved me more than anything, and I was crying, and he was crying, and then I said yes!" Herc squealed.

John screamed again, looking at the ring. "God, Herc, it's so pretty. Laf, how much did this cost?"

"Cost? Why, cost is nothing!" Lafayette exclaimed. "Why would I even think of such a thing? The only thing that matters is whether or not it is the best, because that it what my darling Hercules deserves. The best."

Herc, instead of doing the shy blush thing he had grown used to doing throughout his life, just smiled widely and pulled Lafayette into a small kiss. "My Prince Lancelot."

"I think your pants look hot," Lafayette winked.

Hercules rolled his eyes. "Ignore that, it's an inside joke."

John chuckled. "That's perfect." He suddenly became very aware of his family. "Oh, God, Herc, Lafayette, these are my siblings, and my dad. That's Mary, Martha, Jemmy, Henry, and then my dad, Henry Sr."

"You're dad," Herc said slowly. "I've heard much about you Mr. Laurens."

John chuckled, remembering how many times he had angrily ranted about his father to Herc. "Yes, he has. Hercules is my best friend, and we actually met in a parenting class. Phillip is around here somewhere, with Herc's kid."

"And soon to, legally, be Lafayette's kid too," Herc stated.

John gasped, looking over at Herc.

"We have started the process of myself become a legal guardian of William," Lafayette stated. "Wait, that wasn't, that wasn't worded correctly. That wasn't right."

"We get the jist," Alex stated. "I'm sure I've messed up plenty of times, so don't worry about it. But really dude? That's awesome."

"Yes, it is," Lafayette nodded. "I have always wanted to be a father, and now I am! I just got to skip all the gross parts, so even better!"

Herc rolled his eyes. "Thank the lord."

Lafayette smiled, kissing Herc's cheek. "You know I love you."

"Sometimes," Herc stated. "So, John's family! It's so nice to finally meet you guys. John had told me so much about his siblings, and I was surprised at the amount of skill with a baby he had when he was twenty, but the moment he told me about his siblings, I knew where he got it front. I think all of you are the reason he was so good with Phillip."

"God, I was a mess even with all my training. Herc and I had to team up together a lot. I can't tell you how many nights we've spent together, sitting in the laundry room of whatever apartment building we were living at, walking around with Pip and Will."

"At one point, we got so tired that we forgot whose kid was whose," Herc laughed. "And now, you get a real understanding of how tired we both were, seeing as my kid is just as black as me, and John's kid is just a tad darker than him."

"God, Herc, I was exhausted," John chuckled.

"Well, where were the mothers?" Martha asked.

John's brows shot up, and he was grateful Phillip and William had probably gone upstairs to eat more chocolate together. "The mother's were... Out of the picture."

"We didn't need them," Herc scoffed. "We had forty hours in Mr. Penny's parenting class, fifteen books on babies, and if we really needed it, my neighbor who had raised four kids already. We knew all the tricks."

"Little scotch on their gums when they're teething, and it's all good," John joked.

"Oh good God," Alex mumbled.

"You wanna try raising a baby?" John challenged. "Yeah, didn't think so."

Alex just shrugged, not exactly minding the idea of raising another kid with John.

"Can someone please tell me an embarrassing story about John because I'm literally dying here," Herc gasped. "The only ones I've ever heard are ones from John when he's drunk, and I'm literally dying to know something."

Martha smiled widely. "He once stole the basket full of doves at a wedding and he was so close to making it out of the reception hall with the basket but then he tripped and fell, and all the doves came shooting out like the demons they are and flew straight into the wedding cake, and one grabbed the bride's father's toupee, and John tried to act like it wasn't him but he was covered in feathers, it was the best thing on earth."

Alex gasped, laughing. "Are you serious?"

"I was freeing the birds!" John defended. "And I think, now that I am an adult, and it's been years, I can fully admit that I had been sneaking drinks all through that reception."

Martha began cackling. Henry laughed too, seeing as John had signed the confession as well, as well as the whole conversation. Alex was wheezing, and even Herc was smiling. Henry Sr. looked unamused, but John didn't notice.

"It was so boring! It was the mid two-thousands, I had no phone with me, and the bar was open and unattended. Would you rather I went thirsty?" John asked.

Martha rolled her eyes. "You are so extra, John, I swear to God."

"John isn't even as extra as most of the people in New York," Herc stated.

"Yo!" Called up a voice from the kitchen. "Where are you nutsacks?"

"Queue a prime example," John smiled. "We're up in the living room, hon!"

A few seconds later, Martha popped in, a bottle of half empty vodka in her hand with a kiss mark on the glass. Her hair was done up, and she seemed to sway a bit. "Wow, okay. John, am I seeing double of you? Because I got like, six in my view right now."

"Are you drunk?" John asked.

"Drunk? Absolutely not!" Martha exclaimed, falling into John's lap. "I got you vodka for a present, but I didn't have wrapping, or a bow, so I kissed it. Then, then, Maria came over, and we made margaritas, hence why the bottle is now only half full. Merry Christmas, dear. How wonderful it is to see you, and other you, and other you, and other you, and old you, and other you. They all look great."

"This is my family," John stated, waving his arm out. "Martha, Henry, Jem, and Mary. My siblings."

"Martha!" The girl on John's lap exclaimed. "That's my name too!"

John's sister rolled her eyes. "It's a pleasure."

"John, I must say, you were good, but Maria, Maria is great! I love women," Martha laughed, leaning back and falling into Herc's lap. "Oh, and Hercules! I heard about the engagement! I'm so happy for you!"

Herc smiled widely. "It's good to see you Martha."

"Yeah, and I'm not all fat!" Martha laughed. She used her arms to show an example of how big she was when pregnant. "I was like a big rhino. I couldn't even stand up."

"I think you need to begin filtering the things you say a little bit, since my entire family is listening to you," John suggested, worried Martha is about to tell everyone about the pregnancy.

"Everyone? Even that bastard you call your father?" Martha asked. She tilted her head backwards, making eye contact with Henry Sr. "Oh, wow. Screw you man, I don't even  _ like  _ you. I think you're a, a, a doo-doo head."

"Alright, honey, isn't it about time you called an Uber?" John asked.

"Hold on," Martha stated. "I got a few things to say to this son of a bitch. I got some words; some in English, some in Spanish, and I want him to know!"

"John, we can take her home," Herc offered.

"That might be best," John sighed, covering Martha's mouth with his hand. He quickly pulled it away when he felt her tongue. "Gross! Did you just lick me?"

"You're getting in the way of my freedom of speech," Martha gasped. "I don't like you, Mr. Laurens. I got some, some, some grievances with you!"

"Alright!" Alex smiled, standing up. "Come on, hon, let's get you downstairs. Herc, Laf, you stay. I'll just get her an Uber."

Martha stood up, flipping off Henry. "John, next time I am sober, and you are free, let's please get coffee because I have so much to tell you."

"Alright, dear," John smiled, standing up and kissing her cheek. "You have fun."

"I love you!" She sang as Alex escorted her out of the room.

"Love you too," John replied, rolling his eyes a bit.

Alex carefully walked Martha down the stairs, then called for an Uber, typing in his address and then hers before sitting her down at the kitchen counter and getting her some water. Martha giggled, sipping it, then put the glass down.

"Alex," she whispered. "You gotta get John's dad out of here."

Alex agreed with her, but he wouldn't admit this. "John is happy, Martha. They talked some things over. He wants his dad to be here."

"Oh, please," Martha scoffed. "John  _ thinks  _ he's happy, but I know John, and he is not. Have you ever tried to manipulate him?"

Alex shook his head, giving her a strange look.

"Exactly, so you don't know how  _ easy  _ it really is! You need a sad face and one example of a time he hurt you, and then,  _ bam _ , you can get him to do whatever you want." Martha took another sip of her water. "He's bad news, Alex. He's just, he's bad. You gotta, you gotta get him out of here. He's going to hurt John."

"What do you mean?" Alex asked slowly.

Martha grabbed his hand, pulling him closer. Their faces were uncomfortably close, but Martha didn't notice. "I was there when John told his dad I was pregnant with the little giblet. John's dad, he, he yelled at John, told him it was his fault the family was falling apart, blamed him for problems his siblings were having at school. Just about made John cry. A lot more was said, I didn't hear it though. Something about John's mom, something about his brother Jemmy and being responsible."

Alex swallowed hard, thinking back to the conversation he and Henry Sr. had just last night. It sent chills down his spine.

"Do not trust him," Martha stated slowly. "I don't know how much you know about John and his dad, and it's not my job to get in the middle of that, but John doesn't understand just how shitty his dad really is. Please, just, keep John's safe, alright?"

Alex nodded, squeezing her hand. "I'll try." Alex's phone buzzed and he pulled it out. "Your Uber is here."

"John is probably the best thing in all our lives," Martha stated. "I think he forgets that a lot, but he is. For a very long time, I relied on John for almost everything, and you know what he did for me? Everything. It was three in the morning and he'd go out and get me food. He is the only good man left, Alexander. Remember that."

Alex nodded. "Thank you, Martha."

She leaned in and kissed Alex's cheek. "I love you, Alexander. I love you for the way you love John. He's my best friend, and he deserves the exact person you are."

Alex smiled gently. "Thank you. Merry Christmas."

"Happy Hanukkah, Sendrush," Martha teased.

Alex rolled his eyes and waved to her as she left, then closed the door and looked back inside. 'Do not trust him.' It was like some fuck ass horror movie. Alex hadn't gotten good vibes from him anyway, and Alex's gut was always right. It was just one and a half days after this, and they were gone, but Alex knew that a lot could happen in that time, and it almost made him feel nauseous, so he grabbed a bottle of ginger ale and took a few sips, trying to calm his stomach, but it didn't do much for the anxiety attack that was brewing. He didn't trust Henry Sr. No matter how much John did, Alex didn't.

-

John's siblings and his dad spent another night. Alex had retired up to their room, and he and John had snuck in a quick makeout session. It was sweet, and John promised a quick visit when people fell asleep. John stayed up with his siblings, giggling and signing dirty words after their father had fallen asleep. Eventually, everyone did go to sleep, and John went upstairs to where Alex was, half awake, reading. John climbed into bed with him, letting him bookmark the book before pulling him into a sweet kiss.

"I adore you," John whispered.

Alex smiled, wrapping his arms around John's neck and pulling him closer. "I adore you too, sweetest." Alex kissed John again. "You are the absolute best thing in my life. I wouldn't trade you or Phillip for anything in the world."

John smiled, pressing his forehead against Alex's. "You're tired, baby."

"I am," Alex agreed. "But I want to stay awake, so I can be with you."

"You are always with me," John mumbled, connecting their lips again. "You will always have a piece of me."

"You're perfect," Alex whispered. "You promise they'll only be here for a few more days."

"Promise," John replied. "And then, when they leave, I made a plan to have Phillip to go to Sally and Peg's, and we're gonna have the best sex of our lives."

"Wonderful," Alex nodded, his voice fading.

"I'm gonna let you sleep," John whispered. "Happy Hanukkah, Alexander."

"Merry Christmas," Alex mumbled, his eyes closing.

John smiled, kissing him one more time before standing up and leaving the room. John was happy, his heart was pounding inside his chest for the best reasons. Then he heard something, ruffling, coming from Alex's office. Figuring Alex had accidentally locked Basil in there, John walked over and opened the door, not wanting to have another incident where ALex had to buy a new paper shredder because Basil had to lift his leg somewhere. What he saw when he opened it was not what he expected though.

"Dad?" John asked quietly, looking at his father, who was rummaging through papers on Alex's desk. Alex's laptop was opened, and the tabs on it were for Alex's banking account, right at the sign-in page. John's heart dropped into his stomach. "What are you doing?"

"John, what are you doing up?" His dad asked, almost surprised.

"I just, I needed some water, what are you doing going through Alex's office?" John asked. "This is his stuff. I mean, I don't even come in here because he has such a system going on and he can't afford to get it messed up… Dad, what are you doing?"

"John, go back to bed," Henry Sr. commanded.

John almost complied, turning a bit, but then turned back to his dad. "Hold up a sec, I'm a grown man, I don't have a bedtime, and I can do whatever I want. I almost thirty, I have  _ student debt _ . Treat me like an adult."

"An adult? John, you couldn't handle being treated like an adult," Henry Sr. scoffed.

John rolled his eyes. "Stop acting like I'm the same twenty-year-old who partied all night and never made honor roll. I have a kid, I pay bills, I was  _ engaged  _ in the time you didn't talk to me. I am not a child, I am an adult, and as long as you are in my house, you will treat me like one!" John took a deep breath, waiting for his dad's cruel rebuttal.

Henry Sr. looked to John, not even phased. "John, I got into some trouble, and I need some money. You gotta help me find Alex's banking password."

"Whoa, whoa, hold on," John interjected. "This is Alex's money, and you can't just take it! That's illegal! What happened? Why can't you use your own?"

"I have to pay someone off to keep quiet, and if I use my own, it may draw suspicion," Henry Sr. explained. "John, if this drops, our whole family will be torn apart, again, and it'll be your fault. Do you really want to do that again?"

John bit his lip and tasted blood. "No, but-"

"I don't understand why you want this for our family," Henry Sr. sighed. "We're trying our hardest to understand you, and you repay us by doing, doing this? Of course family never was of the most import to you. I raised you, I made sure you were fed and clothed, and Alex is what, a roommate? Think about your brothers and sisters if I am taken away for court hearings and legal issues? Do you really want to do that to them?"

"No," John answered, looking down as guilt pooled in his stomach. "Here, I- I know the password." John sat down in front of Alex's computer, typing in Phillip's birthday and Alex's email. The site dinged and they were in. John went to the savings account, which had over five million dollars in it. "Take money from here, he won't notice. He hardly ever checks this thing."

"You're a good son, John, I'm proud of you," Henry Sr. stated, clapping his hand on John's shoulder as he stood up.

"Thanks," John mumbled uncomfortably, tears threatening his eyes. "Don't take too much."

"I won't," Henry Sr. promised.

"And, dad, you just, please don't tell Alex. I don't, I don't know what he'll think of this, and I don't even know if I’m comfortable with the idea of this," John rambled. "I mean-"

"John, it's for your family," Henry Sr. stated. "Would you really betray the Laurens name for a man you met barely a year ago?"

"It was more than a year," John mumbled. "He just, Alex is a very good friend of mine, he's done a lot for me and Phillip, and I feel really bad, I just-"

"Stop worrying," Henry Sr. assured John. "As long as I'm involved, he'll never know a thing. Then, when all of this blows over, I'll pay him back, so it'll be like nothing ever happened. You need to stop worrying about this, or he'll know something is up. You two seem close. Too close… but regardless- just take a deep breath."

"Are you sure?" John asked, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

"Positive," Henry Sr. replied, his voice laced with something secret.

John nodded, then left the room, going to lie back down in the living room. He felt like he was going to throw up, and he knew it would probably happen sooner or later. He couldn't believe what he just did. Alex would understand though, right? I mean, this was for family. Alex may never even find out, and one day John would tell him, and they would laugh about it.

Regardless of whatever reassuring thoughts he was trying to fill his head with, John still felt sick to his stomach. Anxiety filled him to the brim. He wanted to throw up. A cold sweat broke on his back as he rolled onto his side. He felt sick and dirty, and scared.  _ What would the outcome of this be? Maybe nothing, but what if something more happened? What then? _

John didn't sleep that night. 


	25. Surfing With Sea Monsters

**** John barely slept that night. He kept tossing and turning, pulling out his hair. He ended up throwing up, pacing, debating on whether he should just be honest with Alex, tell him he fucked up, or stay loyal to his family. John didn't know. He was at a loss, close to tears almost, and worst of all, he knew there was only so much he could do now. He didn't want to tear apart his family, but at the same time, Alex was also his family.

John sat up, groaning as Henry nudged him. John looked over at his brother, signing ' _ What time is it _ ?'

' _ Ten _ ,' Henry answered. ' _ Alex is making pancakes _ .'

John's eyes widened and he shot up, running downstairs. The scene in front of him was exactly as he expected. Something was smoking, Alex was covered in flour, fanning the smoke, Basil was licking a batter bowl and the floor, and the kitchen was overall a mess.

"Alex," John groaned, dropping his head in his hands. "Why'd you do this?"

"I thought I could be a functioning adult," Alex laughed. "Turns out I can't."

John, who’d already felt sour, just rolled his eyes and turned off the stove, then cleaned up. He let Basil lick the floor clean, put the pan in the sink, and wiped down the counters. "You should shower. You're covered in flour and eggs."

"You wanna join me?" Alex asked cheekily, poking John's ribs.

"Alex," John groaned wringing out a wet cloth.

Alex held his hands up. "Jeez, what's got you all up in arms?"

"Just, didn't sleep well last night," John mumbled. "I'm really not in the mood."

"Is it because this is your last day with everyone?" Alex asked softly, taking John's hand. "I mean, I know you're gonna miss them, but you can still call and text, and we can always go down and visit."

"Alex, can you just-" John sighed, pulling his hands away. "Whatever, it's whatever."

"Hey, I'm trying to help, and if you want to be in a bad mood that's fine, it happens, but don't take it out on me," Alex protested. "When you want to talk about it or be nice or whatever, then that's cool, but maybe go take a shower or something and cool off. Let's have a good day."

John just rolled his eyes, going back upstairs. A shower did sound nice. He knew he had no reason to be frustrated with Alex, but with everything that had happened last night, John was on edge, and things he usually would've considered cute from Alex currently seemed annoying and bothersome.

John stepped into the shower and sat down. Ever since he had moved in with Alex and started having sex with him, his Pavlov had only appeared when he wanted it to, and he was grateful he didn't have to deal with that at the moment.

His mind raced as warm water slid over his back. He felt like he was about to vomit again. The guilt was eating him up inside like crazy. This wasn't what happened in normal relationships. This wasn't what he wanted his relationship with Alex to be. He didn't want to have this hanging over his head for the rest of his life.

John was going to tell his dad to put the money back. That was that. John wouldn't let his father ruin this amazing relationship with Alex. It wasn't right, nor was it fair. John was a grown ass man. Granted, his diet consisted of beer and dino bites for the most part but grown he was. He had hair on his chest, and he'd be damned if he couldn't grow an awkward sort-of beard. He paid fucking taxes, so he could stand up to his dad.

"Damn right," John muttered to himself, putting shampoo in his hair. He began humming Eye Of The Tiger to pump himself up. He was ready, throwing punches into the air just to make him feel even more badass. If John could raise a kid on his own, then he could stand up to his dad.

When his shower was done, he dried off and got dressed, still humming Eye Of The Tiger to keep the adrenaline rush pumping through his veins. He tied his hair up, putting on some deodorant and a bit of cologne. He was ready.

"Hey, Dad, can we talk?" John asked, peeking his head into the living room.

Henry Sr. nodded and stood up, coming into the hallway where John stood. "What is it?"

"I want you to give Alex his money back," John stated, his voice become smaller as he spoke. By the time he reached the word back he couldn't even keep eye contact with his dad. This was definitely scarier than he’d thought it would be. What was John thinking? There was absolutely no way he was going to be able to do this, not with something this big. John couldn't even stand up to his father for small things.

"No," Henry Sr. chuckled. "I told you, once I am out of the woods, I will pay him back, but I can't do that right now."

"Dad, this isn't fair, it's his money," John wheedled. "Look, if you need money, I can help out, but I just, this is-"

Henry Sr. cut John off, laughing. "You? Give  _ me  _ money? John, you could sell everything you own for the top price, and you wouldn't have even half of what I need. This is an adult matter and it is none of your concern."

"I am an adult!" John snapped, offended. "This is wrong! Give him the money back. He earned it, and you have money. Besides, should I even be trying to help you? You say you're in legal trouble, and big bad politicians who pay to cover up their dirty laundry are exactly what I hate about this government. It is not my job to help you, but it was your job to help me, and you didn't do shit, so you know what, no, give the money back and-"

The hand of Henry Sr. was so sharp that it brought a yelp from John. The man had never beaten John, but disciplinary slaps were common and never far in between. It used to be almost normal for John, but it had been so long since he had been hit in such a formal manner that he almost didn't know what to do with himself, he just coddled his cheek, staring up at his father. John was convinced he would've been taller than his dad if his dad wasn't so dead set on being bigger and more intimidating than him.

"You listen to me, Johnathan Henry Laurens," Henry Sr. snapped, stepping closer. "I do not take orders from you. You are not the adult in this situation, and I don't care who you are, I don't care how old you get, what you do, how many kids you have, you will never be an adult in my eyes. I know you, John. I watched you grow up, and you are still what you've always been: lesser. I know the big city gave you a bigger head, but don't pull that crap with me. I will do whatever I damn well please."

"I'll tell Alex," John choked out.

"No you won't," Henry Sr. takes knowingly. "I know you won't. Because if you did, then you'd watch the family fall apart from this fancy Manhattan townhouse that you’ve wheedled your way into, and you wouldn't be able to do anything. Think about Henry, Mary, James; think about how would you feel knowing that their lives were hell and it was all your fault? You can hate me all you want, but you're not doing this for me, you're doing this for them. So watch your mouth, and stay out of my hair. I have work I need to finish."

Henry Sr. turned on his heel and walked away. John was left there, breathing heavily, on the verge of a panic attack. He wanted to cry. He really did. He felt sick and he didn't know what to do. In some twisted way, his father was right. It was John's siblings that kept him quiet. He'd always kept quiet, never told anyone about the uncomfortably silent dinners where he’d pushed his food around, eating two bites and then making his way to the bathroom to purge. He’d never told anyone about the screaming matches he and his father would get into, all of which ended with a sharp slap on the cheek and John being locked in his room. John never told anyone about the holes in the drywall, covered by family portraits. He was the secret keeper of the family.

John stumbled upstairs to he and Alex's room. He sat down at the foot of the bed, trying to steady his breathing. Tears leaked from his eyes. He’d been used. Again. He should've known. John wouldn't be surprised if this was the only reason his father came up, the only reason his father said he was proud.

John finally broke, collapsing into a mess of sobs. Hair fell out of his ponytail and stuck to his face as he cried. He was ugly and messy, but he didn't know any other way to let out the heartbreak he was feeling. He could drink, or yell, or hit something, but none of that felt right. He wasn't a violent person, and he didn't drink when he was sad like this. It would be wrong, and John didn't feel like letting his dad affect him that much today. He knew he'd have to pull it together eventually, but he just wanted to be sad right now.

"Hey, hey, whoa, hey," Alex's cried out. 

The bed sank next to John as Alex put an arm around John. "Hey, hey, it's okay. Hey, I'm right here."

John leaned into Alex, resting his head on the older man's shoulder, letting himself cry. Alex hugged John close to his chest, running his fingers through his boyfriend's hair. John was sobbing, which was something Alex rarely saw. Alex wasn't scared, per se, he was just a little confused. He hoped it wasn't from the row they’d had earlier, but already he knew the answer to that. John never cried during fights.

"I'm okay," John sighed, sitting up and wiping his face. "I'm okay. It's okay."

"Well, wait," Alex protested. "You rarely cry like that, so obviously something is wrong, and it's not okay. You've been off today. Talk to me."

"Alex, really, it's fine," John stated.

Alex let out a breath and stood up, massaging his temples. "I don't get you sometimes, John."

"What does that mean?" John asked.

"It means sometimes you do things and I just, I don't understand it. It isn't you." Alex let out a sharp breath and gestures to John. "This, this isn't you. Since when are you holed away in our room sobbing your eyes out? You have bad days, we all do, but this isn't a bad day, this is obviously something else. I know because I've lived with you for seventeen months."

"Can't you just leave it alone?" John asked.

"Well do I get to at least know that like, you aren't..." Alex trailed off. "John, why's your cheek red?"

"Leave it alone, Alex," John warned. "This doesn't involve you, it's a family matter."

Well that hurt.

"Since when am I not family?" Alex asked.

A silence fell over the room. John didn't dare speak, but Alex waited for something, anything. John was dead set on staying quiet about this. It made Alex's blood boil, but he didn't say anything to express that. "Yeah, alright,” Alex muttered, starting to get up.

"Alex," John interjected, placing a hand on Alex’s arm. "That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" Alex asked.

"I..." John trailed off. "I don't know."

Alex closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Alright, well, you figure it out."

Alex stalked downstairs and into the living room, huffing as he sat down on the couch. He was hurt, but didn't take what John said to heart. He had to offer a little leeway since John was upset, but he absolutely wasn't going to offer leeway for whoever’s put the red mark on John's cheek. If it was John's dad who did that, Alex wasn't going to let the man back in the house. He had left barely five minutes ago, muttering something about work, and even now, without John's confirmation, Alex didn't want to let the man back in.

"Trouble in paradise?" Martha asked snarkily, rolling into the room.

"I don't understand your brother sometimes," Alex mumbled.

"Why so?" Martha asked.

"Because he was so quick to forgive his dad, but what the hell has his dad done for him? Has he apologized? Has he offered to help John with his financial issues? Has he spent even a  _ second _ with Phillip? I don't know why the hell he's here, but it's certainly not for John. And John doesn't seem to realize it! He's so blinded by idolization that he doesn't even realize that his dad hasn't even fucking tried!" Alex huffed. "I mean, maybe this is how families act- I don't know, all my immediate family is dead, and my brother and I talk once in a blue moon- but this is bullshit. I mean, what the hell? And I get that he's your dad and whatever, but even  _ you _ have to admit that he's horrible to John. He's just, he's fucking with John's feelings, and it's not cool."

Martha sighed. "Our dad is a manipulator, and John is very easily manipulated."

"So you’ve just let it happen?" Alex asked.

"I'm sorry, am I supposed to do something more than be his sister? Who even are you? You're just the guy he sleeps with!" Martha scoffed.

"I'm the guy he's been dating for the past year!" Alex exclaimed. "Martha, your brother and I don't  _ just _ have sex. I wouldn't be so pissed off about this if I didn't care about him! So stop with the whole ‘holier than thou’ bullshit. Just because we’re two men doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. Believe it or not, when we're not having sinful fuck sessions, we're actually pretty damn domestic." Alex shook his head, his volume rising. "John has been torn apart by his father, and out of everyone in this house, I'm the only one who seems outraged about that. He deserves a family who cares about him!"

"Are you saying I don't care about him?" Marthashouted.

Alex ran his hand over his face, letting out a long breath. "Let’s just say these apples don’t seem to fall far from the tree."

At that very moment, Phillip walked in, holding a juice box.

"Phillip, have you gotten breakfast yet?" Alex asked quickly, wanting to get away from this conversation.

Phillip jumped at Alex's sudden words, looking over. "No."

"Alright, I gotta make Phillip breakfast," Alex decided. "And this time, before you even say it, I am  _ not  _ going to burn it! You cannot even burn cereal!"

"I want pancakes," Phillip stated.

"I  _ might  _ burn those," Alex sighed, walking downstairs with Phillip. "Are you sure you want pancakes? Absolutely positive?"

"Yes," Phillip answered. "Uncle Henry is making them."

"Oh thank Jesus," Alex mumbled.

Henry smiled as the two of them walked into the kitchen, then quickly pulled a small notebook out of his pocket, as well as a pen. He wrote a few things down, then handed the pen and paper to Alex. 'Hi! I made breakfast,’ the paper read.

Alex smiled and nodded. Out of all of John's siblings, his favorites- though he would never admit this- were Jemmy and Henry. 'Thank you. I couldn't cook if my life depended on it.'

Henry smiled at this, nodding and going back to flipping pancakes and keeping them in a pan in the often when they were finished so they'd stay warm. Alex sat at the counter next to Phillip, sighing a bit and running his hand over his face.

"Are you sad?" Phillip asked.

"Not quite," Alex replied.

Phillip didn't like that answer. "Are you angry?"

Alex was about to offer another vague response, but then remembered John saying something about how Phillip doesn't like vague answers. "I am a bit irritated, but it's just been a rough morning. It's better now that we're getting pancakes, and I'm sitting with my favorite son."

"I'm your only son," Phillip pointed out.

Basil let out a gentle bark.

"See? Not my only, but definitely my favorite," Alex laughed. He jumped when his phone buzzed and tried to hold back a groan when he saw John's name. He was gonna be mature about it though.

John: You got into a fight with my sister.

Alex: Yeah.

John: You told her we have, and I quote, 'sinful fuck sessions.'

Alex: In a sarcastic manner, because she didn't believe that we do more than just, like,  have sex.

John: I don't know what I'm going to do with you.

John: I'm sorry I snapped at you. I'm just having a rough time this morning. I didn't mean to take it out on you, and I wish I hadn't. I know you were only trying to help, and I really appreciate it.

Alex: It's okay. It's okay if you need space, but please just say that. I am really quite terrible at picking up on hints. Feelings are difficult to read.

John: Okay, in the future I'll try to do that. Are you gonna apologize to my sister?

Alex: No.

John: Alright, I tried. If I came downstairs right now and offered you a kiss, would it be returned?

Alex: Why don't you come and find out?

Alex placed his phone back into his pocket, standing up and getting some coffee and some milk for Phillip. He was just setting the glass down as John came timidly down the stairs and into the kitchen. Alex raised a brow, sipping his coffee and smiling a bit.

"What about your brother?" Alex asked quietly.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind on the account that he has a boyfriend as well," John informed Alex.

"Oh, so there are  _ two  _ sexually repressed Laurens boys, how interesting," Alex mused, sipping his coffee and wiggling his eyebrows.

John moved closer, but Alex slowly began to back himself into the counter.

"You ass," John commented playfully, not missing the scheming smile on his boyfriend’s lips as Alex backed up more.

"Papa said a bad word!" Phillip yelled, not looking up from the coasters he was organizing.

"Alex is being a bad word," John argued, leaning down and kissing Phillip's head.

Alex shrugged, smiling as his back hit the counter. John stepped closer and was about to go in for the kill, but Alex brought his coffee mug up to his lips, beginning to take slow sips from it. The look on John's face was priceless, and Alex almost spits out his coffee but managed to swallow it, laughing. "I'm just messing with you. C'mere."

"Oh, no, now I don't even want to bother," John stated sarcastically.

"Too bad," Alex replied.

"Oh? Whatcha gonna do, pussy cat? Bite my ankles?" John sang.

Alex rolled his eyes, then quickly leaned up and pecked John's lips. "Take that."

"Oh yeah?" John asked. He leaned down and pecked Alex's lips, smiling.

"Gross," Phillip commented.

"Oh, Alex, my darling boyfriend, how I adore thee!" John stated dramatically before kissing Alex's face, making loud popping sounds as he did.

"John! John!" Alex squealed, laughing as John did this. "That tickles."

John surrendered the kissing, settling for his forehead pressed against Alex's, a gentle smile on both their lips. "'M sorry."

Alex brought his hand up to caress the cheek that still had the slightest hint of red on it. "It's okay."

John laughed when Henry poked his back. ' _ What _ ?'

Henry rolled his eyes. ' _ If you two are done, I could use some help carrying breakfast upstairs _ .'

John nodded then looked to Alex. "Babe, could you get syrup and butter? I gotta help Henry with breakfast."

"Glad someone can cook," Alex laughed, getting syrup and butter, as well as napkins while John grabbed silverware and plates.

"You tried your best," John cooed to Alex as they walked upstairs, Phillip on their tails. They were quick to set up breakfast and gather everyone. Jemmy had decided that the best lighting was in front of a big window, and a lot of the trip had been spent in the sunbeam that usually rested there, drawing or painting. Mary and Martha were watching something on TV but turned it off when the boys entered with food. Martha shot a glare towards Alex, but was taken aback when he only offered a cheeky smile back. Alex wasn't about to apologize for something that he didn't do. Maybe he was harsh, but she needed to hear it.

"Okay, Henry made pancakes, there's butter, and there's syrups, everyone use napkins, and try not to get syrup on the couches," John directed, sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table. Basil began begging, earning a flick on the nose from John. "No begging."

' _ I used mom's recipe _ ,' Henry signed, shrugging a bit.

John smiled and ruffled his hair. "And it's mom's pancakes, so eat up. She'd be happy to see us eating breakfast together again."

' _ How did you know the recipe _ ?' Martha signed to Henry.

Henry shrugged. ' _ My school starts last, so I am always the only one in the house in the morning, and I lomake pancakes. I have made this recipe so many times that it is infused in my brain. It be like that, sometimes _ .'

John laughed, taking a bite of his food, then offered a thumbs up. "It's killer."

"Yeah, these are good," Alex mumbled, nodding in agreement. "Jem, I was thinking about what you were telling me yesterday, about how art therapy is shown to significantly help kids in need of therapy, and I was wondering about what art supplies you would use for that?" Alex pushed Basil away. "No begging."

Jemmy's face lit up. Jen’s smile made John smile too, gently reaching down and patting Alex's thigh before turning to his sister. "Okay, Marth, you gotta tell me how college is going. I feel like we haven't even talked about it."

"It's actually going really well," Martha stated. "I've been getting really good marks, and oh, God, once we get back, we're gonna have to write this whole essay on how the thermodynamics and density of certain metals can co-react."

"I didn't understand a solid half of that," John chuckled. "Basil, no begging."

"It's an engineering thing," Martha stated. "How's your work going? I think I've been here the whole time and I don't even know what you do?"

"I'm a bartender and a dance teacher," John told her. "God, days are long, but I really do love my classes."

"Did you ever go back and finish college?" Martha asked.

John shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't see why I should. It's just more money, and I wouldn't exactly get a better job than I have now. Not many people higher dudes in their late twenties with only a dance major."

"You could switch to business," Martha suggested.

"Ugh, blow my brains out," John groaned.

Alex laughed. "John, I'm trying to imagine you with an office job and I just, I can't do it. You'd look so ridiculous in a dress shirt and a tie."

"Yeah, Marty, I gotta agree with Alex. My uniform is a tee shirt and some sweatpants, and I get to dance and help other people dance for a living," John chuckled. "Oh, oh, and when he drags, I can always bring him coffee in case he really needs it."

"Are you two dating?" Jemmy asked out of nowhere. "Basil, stop begging."

John's eyes widened, looking over at his brother.

"Your pupils expand whenever you two look at each other, and Alex blushes whenever you smile at him, which shows attraction between both of you, and you are naturally physical with each other, which would lead me to a conclusion that you are always this touchy, if not more," Jemmy explained.

The table was silent, then Phillip smiled. "Alex is my other dad. Basil, no begging."

Martha let out a squeak of a laugh, and Alex leaned over, kissing Phillip on the top of the head and mumbling an 'I love you too, buddy.' John's cheeks were hot, hot,  _ hot _ , and Henry, who had been watching Martha sign a translation began laughing. Basil sensed the energy and began licking Phillip's cheek out of excitement.

"Would that be cool?" John asked, squinting at his brother. "Basil, down."

"It would be human nature, actually," Jemmy told John. "Same-sex partnership is found in over a thousand species, so it would be ridiculous for humans to toss it aside as if overpopulation isn't offering a viable and obvious solution."

John put his face in his hands, trying not to laugh but also trying to cover how his light summer brown had darkened a bit from the blood rushing to his cheeks. Alex was laughing, leaning his head against John's shoulder, and Phillip was just beaming. Martha rolled her eyes a bit, but it went ignored.

"Okay, glad this is all out in the open," John sighed. "Yes, Alex is my boyfriend. There, I said it. Is everyone happy? Any questions, comments, concerns?"

"Yes, I have one," Martha stated. "Why are we talking about your relationship status and letting our pancakes go cold?"

"Jem asked!" John defended. "Okay, pancakes, pancakes. God, I love pancakes."

"They're like latkes but dough," Alex mumbled lightly. "I actually didn't have real pancakes until I was like, thirty."

"What? Bull," John scoffed. "Basil, don't make me put you outside."

"No, it's true, because my momma made a Turkish breakfast for us, and then when I was with my cousin, we always had gas station food, and then as an adult, cereal was my go to. I think the person who made me pancakes was Lafayette, actually. Well, he made me crepes, and then Thomas made me pancakes later that day because apparently they were better," Alex explained. 

' _ John, tell him I said that I couldn't survive for thirty years without pancakes _ ,' Henry signed quickly.

"Henry says he couldn't survive thirty years without pancakes," John told Alex.

"Okay, hand to god I'm gonna learn sign language," Alex laughed. "Because y'all have been translating for both me and him this whole time, and I-" Alex was cut off by his phone ringing. "Crap, it's Washington. I gotta take this."

"I get it," John smiled.

"Thanks," Alex smiled, pecking John's cheek before standing up. "Major, what can I do for you today?"

"You just let him get up and leave for calls?" Martha asked.

John gave her a weird look. "Yeah, it was work, and he rarely does that anyway. It's not that big of a deal." John took another bite of his pancakes. ' _ Henry, college, spill _ .'

Henry shrugged and smiled. ' _ Looking at a few places. There is a college in PA for the deaf, and it looks really cool, and has a really good English program _ .'

John raised his brows. ' _ Is that what you want to do _ ?  _ English major _ ?'

Henry nodded. ' _ I want to write books. I really like writing fantasy, and my Dungeon And Dragons group has been doing this campaign and it's really interesting, and a bit of an inspiration for what I want to write _ .'

' _ That's really cool _ ,' John signed. ' _ You know, I've never actually played Dungeons and Dragons, is it good _ ?'

Henry nodded quickly. ' _ It's really cool. Well, it's boring to some people, but not to me. Usually, a whole campaign can take up to six months to complete, and that's with three to six-hour game sessions every day _ .'

' _ Some nights, he doesn't get home until one am _ ,' Martha ratted.

' _ I'd rather him play that game than do what I do _ ,' John signed, laughing a bit.

' _ And what did you do _ ?' Henry asked, leaning forward a bit.

' _ Sex, drugs, and rock and roll _ ,' John answered, laughing. ' _ For a Catholic town, the underground scene when I was a kid was crazy. I went to rock concerts, smoked weed. Probably a solid half of the guys in my school year ended up taking me home a couple of times _ .'

' _ And here I was, thinking Catholic school could keep my brother abstinent _ ,' Martha signed, rolling her eyes.

' _ Please, by fifteen I was done for _ .' John chuckled a bit, taking another bite of his pancake.

"Hey, John," Alex started, walking back in the room.

"Wassup?" John replied, smiling over at his boyfriend.

"I gotta go to work tomorrow," Alex whined, sitting down. "Between the parent-child thing, and the homeless shelter thing, I'm beat. We got all these new kids in politics and granted, I love fresh faces, but I just, sometimes they get annoying and don't seem to understand that the only reason I have friends in this job is prior connections, not because our views line up. I'm just a little exhausted right now, but it'll be better by March when everyone settles in."

John patted Alex's thigh gently. "It'll get better soon."

"Bouta square up with the whole government, challenge them to a duel or something," Alex mumbled. "Oh! But Phillip! You know your friend Theo?"

Phillip looked up and smiled. "Yeah!"

"Well, I was talking to her dad and mom just yesterday, and they should be moved up to Brooklyn by April," Alex explained.

"But we live in Manhattan," Phillip complained.

"Yes, but Brooklyn is really close," John explained. "So instead of driving a very long time, we will only drive a little bit, and you guys can have more sleepovers."

"Yay!" Phillip cheered. "I love Theo. She's my best friend."

John smiled and shook his head. "That's adorable."

"It also means that my main girl Dosia is moving up here too!" Alex hooted. "Man, John, I gotta say, when Aaron was overseas, and it was just Dosia, freshly sober me, and little Theo, we played some  _ wild  _ games of solitaire. I don't even want to  _ tell you  _ how many muffins we baked together, and oh, man, our knitting was hardcore."

John laughed, tilting his head back a bit. "You can knit?"

"Always have been able to," Alex explained. "My momma taught me, and she taught me how to sew too. Never got around to cooking, but I can tailor stuff. Most of my pants I have to hem since I'm short."

"Shortie pie," John teased.

"At least I'm not obnoxiously tall," Alex snorted.

"Yeah, all my skinny jeans rip in the back of the thighs because I'm tall," John stated.

"Baby got back," Alex mumbled, earning himself a light elbow to the ribs, causing him to snicker like a little kid. He knew that it wasn't John's height ripping John's jeans, it was that perfect ass of steel. Perfect curve, perfect size, and not ready to be contained by mere denim. Alex hated and loved to admit that he absolutely worshipped John's ass. Thirteen freckles, a tan brown, an indent on each side. It was like a destresser for Alex.

"Okay, so what are we doing today? It's your last day in New York, so, like, what do you wanna do?" John asked.

"Arson," Phillip suggested.

John snorted. "Do you know what arson means, Phillip?"

"Burning things," Phillip answered. "Alex told me. We were driving and he pointed out a coffee shop and said it should be the victim of an arsonist, and then I asked what that meant, and then he told me it meant someone burning something."

"Alex!" John gasped. "Why would you say that?"

"Phillip should have career options," Alex shrugged. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. It was a stupid coffee shop that is just gonna drive up rent though. I mean, Foam Party? And it had hipsters lined up down the block. You would've agreed with me."

"Okay, yes, I would have," John agreed. "But arson is not an option. We could, oh, I don't know, we could just drive around?"

"That sounds nice," Martha smiled.

"Alex, you wanna come?" John asked.

Alex pouted. "I would love to, but Thomas is coming over here in an hour to discuss his plan because if I get this meeting done today, I can focus more on the parent-child thing tomorrow. He'll be here for a little while, and we just gotta get some work done."

"So, translation, by the time we all get back, your office is going to be trashed," John chuckled.

Alex grinned.

John rolled his eyes, but smiled, going back to his pancakes.

Breakfast went by, and John's siblings got dressed for the day. Alex, knowing it was only Thomas coming over, stayed in his Spiderman sweatpants and black sweatshirt, putting another pot of coffee on and getting out some food for himself and Thomas. It was just a bag of chips and cold pizza, the best kind of brain food. He kissed John goodbye, offered Phillip a bit hug, and then opened his laptop, waiting for Thomas to arrive. It didn't take much longer for him to walk through Alex's front door, sporting some joggers and a hoodie, as well as his glasses, which made his eyes look bigger than they actually were due to the strength of the prescription.

"I'm ready," Thomas nodded.

"Me too," Alex agreed as they both walked into his office. "Since John's family is up, it feels like my only vacation is working, but it's their last day, and so far, nothing terrible has happened, so I'll just let it be."

"Where are they all now?" Thomas asked. "I feel like it would be hard to miss six versions of John."

"He and his siblings are out driving, John's dad is working, and we're here," Alex smiled. "Alright, now, I have right here theses..." Alex trailed off. "Huh."

"What?" Thomas asked, pulling out his laptop.

"That's weird," Alex mumbled. "I could've sworn I left the papers right here, but they're over there, and my pen cup got moved."

Thomas rolled his eyes. "So? Ever heard of the wind? And the fact that maybe your memory isn't what it used to be?"

Alex nodded, chuckling. "John was probably looking for something or whatever."

"Ooh, would he find anything bad?" Thomas chuckled.

"What? Details of my scandalous affair?" Alex commented sarcastically. "I ain't got no secrets from John, and John doesn't have any secrets from me. We're cool like that. Now, I believe we have work to do?"

Thomas nodded. "Okay, so basically, the deal is that we have the money, we have the construction company, but we're gonna need city approval from Washington, King, and Monroe. I can get Washington to sign off on this, and King shouldn't be much harder, but damned Monroe."

"He likes facts," Alex stated. "We gotta have an answer for everything."

"I do have an answer for everything, though," Thomas stated. "This is Washington's last term, and then he's done. We have the money, we have the crew, you've created a backup plan, right?"

"I have," Alex nodded. "But you gotta look over it. It's a bit complicated and I need to make sure what I have down is correct."

"Yeah, sure, pull it up," Thomas stated.

"Alright," Alex mumbled, opening up the plan he wrote up, as well as a graph and spreadsheet that offered more details, then turned it towards Thomas. "Here."

Thomas started at it a little bit, biting his lip. "Hold on, wait, so if we have another big emergency, we just use tax money? We can't use that just for this."

"No, we use half tax revenue, and then we can pull in more money from a few sections over here. Look at the pie chart, it has everything labeled. We'd be covered for expenses up to four million dollars, all at once, and then we could continue using revenue and maybe have another tax raise. This is all a big if, though."

"Well, what if we go in debt again? People aren't going to like that," Thomas stated.

"We won't go into debt if we just raise taxes," Alex stated.

"Okay, but what about when it's your turn to be governor and people pull out all your suggested tax raises," Thomas stated.

"Look, chances are, we aren't going to get into a big emergency until next year anyone, so it's going to be fine," Alex convinced. "Look, dude, don't push back on this. This is the only way for me to justify all of this, with was actually hard to, I must inform you, and if you push back on this, then you're working against yourself. You have all the information right there."

"I gotta think about this," Thomas mumbled.

Alex rolled his eyes a little bit at that. "Okay, how about I email you this shit? That way you're not calling me or popping your head into my office every two seconds."

"Aw, but when would we spend time together?" Thomas teased.

"Thomas," Alex laughed in a sarcastic seductive manner. "My husband could be home any second."

Thomas rolled his eyes.

"Speaking of husbands, how are you and James?" Alex asked.

Thomas smiled. "Well, he's moved in. Couple hospital visits and shit, but I put him on my insurance, so he's not drowning in debt anymore. It's nice to have company. I have morning tea with the two of them, and James always reads to Payne in the living room before bed, so I've actually become really invested in the Harry Potter series. I mean, holy crap, that's some intense writing."

"I know right?" Alex gasped. "John mentioned he had started reading it to Phillip via James' suggestion, so I started reading the books, and I'm kinda hooked."

Thomas leaned back, smiling and putting his feet up on the desk. "You know, Jay would be real happy to see where you are today."

"Whatever, dude," Alex chuckled.

"I'm serious, Alex," Thomas said, his tone soft. "More than anything, Jay wanted you to be happy, and now look at you. You're wearing Spiderman pajama pants, and you got framed pictures of your stepson's art on your walls, as well as framed family photos of the three of you together, and look." Thomas snatched Alex's phone, turning it on. "Look at this screensaver."

Alex smiled. He hadn't changed it from that selfie of all of them in California at the cafe. John absolutely hated it, still, but it didn't stop Alex from cooing over it as much as he could. "Yeah, I mean, you're right. I am happy. Truthfully, Thomas, I don't think I've been this happy in..." Alex thought for a moment. "In forever, actually."

"When's the wedding?" Thomas teased.

Alex shrugged. "I'm gonna be honest here, I don't know if John would ever want to get really married. That's okay. I mean, it would be nice, but honestly, I'm okay if it never happens. Who needs marriage anyway?"

"Well, it might be more than that," Thomas stated. "Health insurance, life insurance, tax benefits, and if Phillip became a legal dependent of yours, you'd get an extra tax break. Also, in case you ever come into a time where you're deportable."

"You're right," Alex chuckled. "I try to stay away from ICE, but I'm dummy thick, and the clap of my ass cheeks keeps alerting them that an immigrant is nearby."

Thomas threw his head back in laughter, slapping his knee as he did so. Alex found himself sniggering from the reaction, watching Thomas lean over the oak desk to try and catch his breath. It was funny and simple. Thomas laughed a little longer before wiping his eyes of tears. "Holy shit, Alex, that was the funniest thing I've heard all day. I gotta tell that to someone."

"Lafayette will probably get a laugh out of it," Alex chuckled, leaning back. "God, Thomas, I don't think I've ever been this horny."

"Yikes, how long has it been?" Thomas asked, shuffling through papers.

"Haven't even had a quickie since his family came up. Couple handjobs, we ground for a bit one night, but really? Haven't gotten much," Alex admitted, shoving hair out of his face.

Thomas rolled his eyes. "Sex addict."

"I could go back to coke," Alex laughed.

"Don't go back to coke," Thomas mumbled, closing his eyes. "God, I can't believe we're working and it's the day after Christmas."

"Remember when we were all lonely, so you, Laf, and I would get together and chain smoke until we coughed up tar or passed out, then we'd just wake up on Christmas morning and order takeout?" Alex smiled.

"We watched movies, ate like shit, and then complained when we gained weight," Thomas laughed. "You know, you look more in shape after having a kid, I thought you'd have a dad bod or something."

"I already had a dad bod," Alex mumbled. "But we got a dog and I've been running with him lately. Basil! Here boy!"

It took a second, but then the sweet click-clack of Basil's nails on the hardwood filled the room, and a few seconds later, the sweet dog came running in, instantly jumping up on Alex's lap despite being a seventy-five-pound pig dog.

"Aw, he's a cute little dude," Thomas laughed, leaning forward and scratching Basil's head. "He looks heavy."

"He is," Alex gasped. "Thinks he's a lap dog though because I let him lie on my lap on the couch. John says I baby him, but I just think he's too cute not to be babied. I mean, look at his precious little face and his cute little paws. Plus, people move out of my way when I'm walking down the street with him. The stigma around pit bulls has turned me into the toughest guy in the neighborhood."

"Yeah, he looks vicious," Thomas joked as Basil drooled on Alex's leg.

"Wow, dude, we're supposed to be buds," Alex mumbled, grabbing a tissue to wipe the drool off. "I talk you up, feed you scraps, let you sleep in my bed when my boyfriend specifically stated that you shouldn't, and you drool on me? Insulted is not the word I should use, and yet here I am. How I wish there were more..." Alex trailed off. "Thomas, what's the word?"

"Which one?" Thomas asked.

"The one where words describe," Alex explained. "Like in a Madlib."

"Adjectives," Thomas answered.

"Okay, yes, thank you, back to my monologue," Alex smiled. "Basil, how I wish there were more adjectives I could use, to make you understand."

Basil looked up and licked Alex's chin.

"Apology accepted," Alex smiled.

"Do we have anything else we needed to go over? Honestly, I thought this would take up more time," Thomas chuckled.

"Ugh, I don't think so," Alex replied. "I did too, to be honest, we could've gotten this done tomorrow."

"What are we doing tomorrow?" Thomas asked.

"You didn't get called into work?" Alex asked. "Oh, oh, yeah, that actually makes sense because it was mainly Laf and me, and a few other people, going over a few things before the parent-child thing. Gotta repeal the repeal."

"You liberals, so weird," Thomas commented.

"Yeah you bet your ass we are," Alex replied, smiling. "With our science and our facts.  _ Your  _ president has said, according to the Washington Post-"

"Oh,  _ my  _ president," Thomas laughed.

"-Over _ten_ _thousand_ false claims during his presidency," Alex stated. "And I can back that up with facts."

"You know I hate that dude," Thomas scoffed. "Alex, we differ in political opinions most of the time because we had different upbringings. I'm working for what worked best for me, and you're working for what would've worked for you, but when it comes to that assfuck, we both hate him just as much as the other. Just because we have different standards for this country, doesn't mean either of our standards include a racist nazi bigot with an IQ lower than the number of your sexual partners in two thousand thirteen."

Alex snorted. "Zero."

"Hey, he's almost out. Just a little longer," Thomas sighed. He paused for a second, thinking. "You ever think about having another kid with John?"

Alex smiled, nodding. "I do, actually, way too often for someone dating a guy who may not even want another kid."

"Kids are nice," Thomas admitted. "I mean, it's so nice to just be able to relax, and I never realized how much I loved dino bites until they were in the house. I just, it's really weird, because I never thought kids would make me this happy, but Payne is just, he's the best. He really is a great kid."

"Man, same with Phillip," Alex smiled. "I never thought I could love someone like this, but God, Phillip is just, he makes me feel so proud, and I love calling him my son. You know, I picked him up the other day, early for a doctors appointment, and I came in and I made a bit of small talk with his teacher, and she told me that Phillip was one of the brightest in the class, and God, I just, I smiled so big. I'm so proud of him."

Thomas smiled and leaned back. "God, I can't believe we've turned from hardened veterans to like, soft dads who go to soccer games or whatever."

Alex looked at a framed photo of him, John, and Phillip on his desk. "I love those guys a lot. More than most things, really."

"Have you told John?" Thomas asked.

Alex shook his head. "We're just fine the way we were. Look, I think we both know, so why say it? We do all the things people in love do. Gaze into each other's eyes, slow dance in the kitchen, anything you've seen in a Hallmark film, probably."

"Family life, you never want it until you have it," Thomas sighed.

Alex paused, thinking. "I don't think that's an actual saying."

"It is if you're an army vet who's stone cold heart can only be broken by poor single parents and their adorable children." Thomas chuckled a bit. "You got any New Years plans?"

"Not really, at least not on my end," Alex mumbled. "You know I'm not into that. If John wants to go out, I'll probably watch Phillip for him."

"We live in the city that has the biggest New Years celebration in America, and we do nothing for it," Thomas chuckled. "God, I can't wait for it to be sunny again. James likes summer. He always sits in the backyard, drinking sun tea. He reads to me, you know. I'll sit next to him and he'll read me whatever book his has. Alex, I can't even tell you how warm his belly gets when he's been lying out in the sun, because you know, he's hella dark-skinned, and he's like a heater. He's so cute."

Alex smiled, nodding.

"And I know, I know he has like, an emo sense of style in public, but like, whenever he's just chilling in the backyard, he wears these yellow shorts and nothing else, and God, Alex, you don't understand how much I just wanna like-" Thomas thrust his hips in the chair a bit. "I mean, Alex, I never thought I'd ever have a thing for teachers, but damn."

"You roleplay?" Alex asked.

"Yes, but not a teacher," Thomas laughed. "He says he has enough school time during the day. He calls me daddy though."

"Ooh," Alex laughed. "Is the sex good?"

Thomas nodded, tilting his head back. "Damn, Alex. That  _ ass _ though."

"I feel that one," Alex chuckled. "God, never thought I'd be talking about my committed relationship with you, and you'd be talking about one back."

Thomas smiled. "Well, it's not exactly a bad thing, now it is?"

Alex shook his head. "No, it isn't."

Thomas stayed much longer than Alex had intended, simply because they both lost track of time. Between eating cold pizza, arguing about politics, and just fucking around, they didn't seem to get much done, but it was nice. Alex always enjoyed spending time with his friend. Eventually, though, John and his family came home, which brought a scream from Thomas, who was making his way past the front door to the stairway that leads down to the kitchen, making him think he was having a stroke from all the John clones.

"Hi, Thomas," John smiled. "These are my siblings."

"Oh, Jesus, okay, hi, I'm Thomas, a mutual friend of both your brother and his, uh, Alex," Thomas smiled. "We were just arguing about politics when we ran out of snacks."

"Don't want to go hungry doing that," John chuckled. "We'll just be in the living room, so I don't think we'll bother you, but we are playing Monopoly."

"Ah, it's no big deal if you do," Thomas smiled, nodding as he went downstairs.

John nodded and led his siblings and Phillip into the living room before quickly going into Alex's office to say hi. John smiled at the sight of his boyfriend, leaning back in his chair, finishing off a cold pizza crust. John couldn't help but lean against Alex's desk and kiss that man right on the lips. "Hiya, stranger. How's arguing about politics going?"

Alex smiled wide, grabbing John's shirt collar and pulling him in for another kiss. "It's going well. Just trying to find a centrist way to get Thomas' plan through, because the  _ only  _ way you'll be able to pass  _ anything  _ like this is if you make it centrist as hell."

"Aren't you a centrist when we cut you down to your personal beliefs?" John asked.

"I'm a democratic centrist," Alex scoffed. "But regardless, I'm still a democratic  _ liberal _ , because, you know, science and all that."

John rolled his eyes, leaning in and kissing Alex again. "You're absolutely intolerable, I adore you, Alexander."

Alex smiled cheekily, playfully smacking John's thigh. "Hey, so, I was thinking, you know, about tomorrow night, and maybe we should try something new in the bedroom. Just, keep it fun and spicy, you know."

"Try something new?" John mused. "What exactly would we be trying?"

"Maybe a little roleplay, and you know, there's this little shop tucked away in the lower west side that we could make a run to," Alex smiled. "It might have stuff up our alley. You know what I mean?"

"Like Eggo waffles and butter? Because we are out of those things," John sighed.

Alex scoffed. "John, you know what I mean."

"No, I don't, you gotta say what you mean," John teased.

Alex ran his tongue over his teeth, playfully glaring at his boyfriend. "I mean, they have fun adult toys, handcuffs, rope, things that might our night last a little longer."

John leaned closer to Alex's face, his hand wrapping around the older man's throat and his lips just brushing his cheek. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? Whore."

"You're lucky this isn't a real business meeting, because I don't think my coworkers would be okay with me getting hard," Alex mumbled, his hand going to John's thigh.

John smiled, then pecked Alex's lips, letting go. "I guess we'll have to go shopping tomorrow."

Alex smiled giddily and smacked John's ass as the younger man made his way out, earning a flip of the middle finger and a smile. Alex just sat back and marveled at the smile for a few seconds, sighing in the way the dimple on John's chin looked, and how sweet he was, and how much Alex wanted John to bend him over his desk and fuck him until he saw Allah, which wasn't even Alex's religion.

The day went on, Thomas eventually leaving, Alex joining the group in the living room. It was nice. Alex read while they played Monopoly, which surprisingly brought out a very capitalist side in John. Alex couldn't help but snort as John took money from his sister for rent, and asked her 'have you tried not being poor?'

Eventually, the game was over, and John got a text that his dad was sleeping in the hotel tonight, despite the fact that his siblings were staying at the house. John just put his phone down, not replying and continuing with the game. It went later, and eventually, Alex took his meds and passed out on the couch, snoring a bit. Basil got up there with him, passing out as well, and then soon enough, Mary and Jemmy both passed out too, and Martha as well. It was simply Henry and John, trying to move for whoever was left.

' _ Hey, you wanna be a bad kid and disappoint dad _ ?' John asked Henry.

Henry nodded quickly. ' _ When do I not _ ?"

John smiled widely. ' _ Meet me in the kitchen, I'll be right there _ .'

Henry did as told, and John quickly went upstairs to his room, careful not to wake Alex, who had to be up in a couple of hours. John grabbed the wooden box in their closet and then quietly left, making his way back downstairs to Henry. Henry's brow shot up at the sight of John, but John just smiled, dumping the contents of the box onto the kitchen counter.

' _ You ever smoked pot before _ ?' John signed.

Henry shook his head.

' _ Do you want to _ ?' John continued.

' _ Does it make me see God or something _ ?' Henry asked.

John shook his head. ' _ No, that's shrooms. This pot will just relax you, make you feel better, and also make everything really funny _ .'

Henry smiled as John rolled up and a joint and handed it to him. Then, John opened the door and pulled Henry so they were across from each other, leaning against the doorway. John lit up his first, showing Henry how to do it, letting the smoke blow from his lungs and out of the house. He didn't want to stink it up, because Martha would definitely give them a lecture.

' _ Isn't it illegal to smoke this in New York _ ?' Henry signed the joint hanging from his mouth.

John nodded. ' _ It was also illegal to smoke it when I was fourteen in high school, but hey, look where that got me _ .'

Henry rolled his eyes. ' _ It's sweeter than I thought it would be _ .'

John smiled and nodded. ' _ Yeah, it's sweet, I've always loved the taste a lot. Okay, so have you ever done anything bad _ ?'

Henry shook his head.

' _ Skipped class _ ?' John signed, hoping his brother had lived at least a little on the edge. John knew that his younger siblings could get away with more since he pulled a lot of shit and it was enough to give his younger siblings a little leeway.

Henry shook his head, putting the joint in his mouth. ' _ Nothing. Really, I've been pretty boring. Besides the boyfriend, dad doesn't really have a reason to be mad at me _ .'

John paused, thinking. ' _ He doesn't hit any of you, right _ ?'

Henry gave John a shocked look, shaking his head quickly. ' _ No, no, he's never hit any of us. He wouldn't. Why would you even say that? He's not the greatest, but he's not abusive _ .'

John nodded, taking another hit of his joint.

Henry took another hit of his joint, thinking. ' _ Has he ever hit you _ ?'

John shook his head. ' _ No _ .'

Henry shrugged. ' _ Can I tell you something? And you can't tell Martha, or dad, or anyone. No one, promise _ ?'

' _ I can't promise that I won't tell Alex, but that's a couple of thing _ ,' John signed to Henry. ' _ But he won't tell anyone either, so don't worry. _ '

Henry nodded. ' _ I don't really like dad that much. I know that sounds bad, and I should, because he does everything a parent needs to do, but it's hard to like him when he doesn't even try to know how to communicate with me. Maybe I'm being selfish _ .'

' _ Hold on _ ,' John started, taking a hit. ' _ You are not being selfish. I was eleven when I found out you were deaf, and that didn't stop me from learning ASL as quickly as possible. I have always thought it was a dick move that he never learned _ .'

' _ Martha always said I was complaining about nothing _ ,' Henry told John.

' _ Well, fuck Martha _ ,' John signed angrily. ' _ Henry, you know I love Martha. She is my sister, she is our sister, and for that reason, we have a legal obligation to love her and care for her, but she's kind of a bitch _ .'

Henry snorted.

' _ She is _ ,' John signed. ' _ She means well, she always does, but she's a bitch. You have every right to be mad or upset about that. You know what? I don't even like dad that much either. I love you guys, but I could go another seven years without that man _ .'

' _ You really didn't miss him _ ?' Henry asked.

John shook his head. ' _ Was I hurt that the man who raised me had cast me out from the group of people I love more anything? Yes. Was I hurt when I realized I would never be enough for him? Yes. Did I miss him? Did I miss his constant criticization of me? No. Not for a single day. He is the reason I'm a good a parent as I am, though _ .'

' _ How so _ ?' Henry signed, taking another hit off of his joint.

' _ I just did everything he did, but the opposite _ ,' John signed, laughing and almost dropping the joint out of his mouth. ' _ Which is why my kid isn't starving himself or constantly seeking validation from those around him _ .'

Henry nodded.

John looked out over the backyard, chuckling as Basil walked between them to go out and pee. It was cold, but neither of them acknowledged it, just stood there, smoking. It reminded John of being young. There was still a ten year age gap between them, but sometimes, Henry was the only one who John felt close to in the family. They would sit in the backyard and throw stones into the little duck pond, and you could tell how someone was feeling by the way they threw stones. Most of the times, John was pissed, and he would chuck stones hard enough to where they would reach the other side of the pond. When Henry was sad, they would go get ice cream on John's dollar.

John missed those days a lot. It was simple. It was a time where it was just him and his brother, both definitely pissed at something or another. Henry was an angry kid. John wasn't sure how he got over that, but as a kid, Henry was just mad at everything. John was angry at that time of his life too, so they worked out. John stopped being as angry when he started having good sex periodically.

' _ Hey _ ,' John signed, looking over at his brother. ' _ How did you stop being so angry? You were an angry kid, and you just got more pissed when I left. How'd you do it _ ?'

' _ I started having sex _ ,' Henry answered.

John laughed.

' _ What about you _ ?' Henry asked. ' _ Drugs or whatever? _ '

John shook his head. ' _ I started having sex _ .'

Henry chuckled, shaking his head. ' _ We're too similar _ .'

John smiled, taking another hit of his joint. ' _ Hey, they're almost burnt out. You want another _ ?'

Henry nodded. ' _ Hell yes _ .'

Hours passed. Henry and John smoked all of the weed and then got hit with a huge case of the munchies, which gave John the bright idea to make makeshift pizza. The problem with this was that the only pizza thing they had was the sauce, so John had the great idea of putting the sauce on hamburger buns and then using unmelted Kraft singles, since they didn't want to wake anyone up with the microwave, for the cheese. It tasted awful, the flavors didn't mix right, and it wasn't even good. John and Henry ended up eating about fourteen of those each, and then they ran out of burger buns. John cooked up some concoction of tater tots and cheese. It was hard to stay quiet since they were both saying things to crack each other, but they managed to not wake up anyone throughout the night. John had never pulled an allnighter with his brother, but he liked it.

"Hello," Alex chuckled, walking into the kitchen at six am.

"Alex, baby, hello," John smiled, swaying a bit and stumbling forward to Alex. "You're so pretty. Pretty, baby boy. Baby baby boy."

Alex laughed, nudging John off a bit. "I gotta be at work in thirty minutes. It's early, I know, but I'll be home by noonish or one. Lemme get my coffee."

"And breakfast," John decided, getting out a Tupperware and putting some of the potato cheese mash into the Tupperware. They had put tater tots and water in a pot together and turned it into much with too much cheese. "Take it, take it. Healthy breakfast."

"Have you two been up all night?" Alex asked.

John nodded, smiling. "Yes. I gave my brother his first joint."

Alex smiled and rolled his eyes, taking a bite of the potato mash from the pot. "Wow, this is actually really good."

John nodded and smiled. "I made it myself."

"You're good like that," Alex chuckled. "Alright, I gotta go. Work awaits me. I got like, a fuck ton of meetings today, and then I have to argue with my coworkers for like, another couple of hours." Alex sighed, leaning his head against John's chest. "I really don't want to go, but I know I have to. Hey, I will be back so I can drive you all to the hotel, and then I can just go home if you want to be alone or something."

"No, we're just gonna say goodbye at the hotel, so stay," John explained. "Do you really have to go to work? I really don't want you to. Please? My brother is probably gonna sleep soon, so we can slip in a quickie or something."

"I really gotta go, honey," Alex pouted. "I know, I know. I'll be back soon, though, I swear. Hey, I'll bring lunch for everyone. What time does your family need to get back to the hotel?"

"Uh, by like, three," John stated. "Their plane leaves at eight, so they need to get to JFK at about four or four thirty. You know how airports are."

Alex chuckled and sighed, grabbing Alex's hand and squeezing it gently. "God, do I. Okay, I'll get lunch for everyone, how about that? What do they like? I could just pick up some pizzas because New York does pizza really well, but also Chinese, and Mexican, and Jewish, and you know what? Everything."

"Pizza sounds great," John smiled.

"Okay, okay, pizza," Alex nodded. "Alright, I gotta go. I'll be back around noon, and I'll have food. Hey, I adore you, alright?"

John smiled, pecking Alex's lips. "I adore you too. Goodbye."

"Bye, dear." Alex kissed John once more before walking out of the house.

' _ It really does get better, doesn't it _ ?' Henry signed.

John nodded and smiled sweetly, listening to Alex's car pull away. ' _ It really does _ .'

 


	26. The Thud Of A Boot Dropping

John was not feeling good as he walked through the door of his house at seven in the morning. The smell of vomit still burned his nose, making him want to puke. His uniform needed a wash, and he needed a shower.

It had been a couple of weeks since John's siblings had left. The family had celebrated the final days of Hanukkah by giving more family-centric gifts that they couldn't give with John's family around. They found out that matzo ball soup was now Phillip's favorite food, and they had recently celebrated his seventh birthday. John missed his siblings, of course, he did, but he was so grateful to finally have some alone time with Alex, and some family time with all of them.

John still hadn’t come clean to Alex about what had happened on Christmas, or the day after. Alex had to admit, the curiosity of why John was sobbing in their room alone still got to him, but he was willing to wait for John to feel ready to talk about it. Little did he know that John never wanted to talk about it, and prayed he’d never have to.

"Hey, babe," Alex smiled as John walked through the door, getting up to offer a kiss.

"Nope," John huffed.

Alex's brows rose. "Bonjour?"

"Nope," John repeated, throwing his keys on the hooks. "I'm going to go shower. Want to know why? Because apparently, people consider it socially acceptable to throw up on bartenders, and right now, I smell like Jack Daniel's vomit. So I am going to go shower. Because if I don’t, I will throw up myself."

"You look nice!" Alex called out as John walked upstairs.

"Don't lie to me!" John called back. 

Alex chuckled, looking down at his newspaper. He was reading a story about the court hearing he’d been in yesterday. The reporting wasn't totally accurate, but more entertaining than the actual story, and seemed pretty supportive of the bill. Alex was being really annoying, and he had made it clear that as long as people were pushing back on this, he was going to be annoying about it. That was usually his political method. It's how he’d gotten his financial plan passed.

Alex heard the shower turn off and he began to make John's coffee. He had learned to make lattes because he knew John loved them, and it was worth it to provide John breakfast in bed. Alex decided to make a latte with a heart in the foam just to give John a nice morning, even if it had started off with vomit. Alex also made Phillip's breakfast, which was just cereal, and then he found some leftovers, heating them up for John.

"Okay, Pip, we need to get you breakfast, and hurry, because we're running late," John stated, walking downstairs, Phillip next to him.

"Pip, here's your breakfast," Alex stated, setting the bowl down. "John, coffee, and food."

John raised his brows. "Really?"

Alex nodded.

John was about to sip the latte, then he looked at it and gasped. "It's a heart."

Alex shrugged, smiling a bit, but was surprised when John pulled him into a kiss. It was soft and innocent, and Alex found himself smiling into it, blushing when John pulled away. He liked to think he was pretty cool when it came to casual romance with John by now, but every now and then his boyfriend would catch him off guard, and Alex's face would flush bright red.

"Thank you," John smiled. "You didn't have to do this, and I really appreciate it. Thank you, Alex."

Alex smiled and shrugged, grabbing his coffee and sipping it. "It was no trouble, really. I knew you were having a rough morning." Alex pecked John's lips again, then sat down. "Pip, how'd you sleep?"

Phillip shrugged. "I had a bad dream."

Alex didn't miss the way John looked over, biting his lip. The older immigrant gently patted Phillip's shoulder. "Were you okay?"

Phillip nodded. "Basil fell off a big high building, but when I woke up he was sleeping in the hallway, so it was okay."

"Well, if you ever get nightmares, you can always come sleep with us," John reminded him, kissing Phillip's head. "Eat quick, we gotta get going soon. Alex, are you going into work today?"

"Yes, for a few hours, probably, IT said their found something weird in my information that they want to double-check it with me, then I’ve got a meeting or two," Alex chuckled, standing up. "I should get going now. See you soon."

"Bye, lovely," John smiled, pecking Alex's lips.

"Hey, kid, I'll see you tonight," Alex smiled. "I love you, Phillip."

"Love you too, Alex," Phillip smiled as Alex slipped his laptop into his bag, as well as his newspaper since he had yet to finish it. Alex waved one last time before walking out of the house, calling out something about Thai for dinner.

John smiled for a second, his hands on his hips, then looked to Phillip. "Alright, buddy, chop-chop. I'll go get your bag. We gotta skedaddle."

John's day got better from there. No more vomit, no more drunks being assholes. On his way home, he even got to talk to Martha on the phone, since he could get in at least a twenty-minute conversation in Manhattan traffic. By the time he got home, an hour or so before Phillip needed to be picked up, he was tired but happy.

"Hey, babe!" John smiled, walking through the door.

"Huh? Oh, hey, dear," Alex replied absentmindedly, accepting a kiss from John. "How was work?"

"Not as bad as it could've been," John stated. "Kids are tired from school hours though. You know, a lot of those kids actually rearrange their schedules for their dance. Like, most kids come during their free period, or they start school later. Something to do with that whole ‘innovations experiment’ some schools have been trying out." John opened the fridge, looking for some food. "How was your day?"

"You know, actually, the craziest thing happened to me," Alex chuckled, closing his laptop. "Like, really crazy."

John grinned. "Oh? What was it? Thomas agreed with you or something?"

"Crazier, actually," Alex started. "So, you know how the IT guys called me to tell me I had something weird going on, right?"

John smile slid slowly off his face. He nodded.

"Well, turns out, someone had signed into my bank account and withdrawn all of my savings," Alex chuckled. "All five million dollars. Luckily, though, they could track the IP address, which lead them all the way to Charleston, South Carolina."

John stopped breathing.

"Now, I think the craziest part is that out of the two people who know my password, only one has connections to Charleston, South Carolina." Alex smiled sweetly. "Isn't that weird, John? Oh, and then, then, I looked through my history of withdrawal and turns out, I apparently had pulled about fifty thousand dollars from that savings account on Christmas night. Then, _then_ I had police calling me and asking me why I was involved with covering up a political scandal, and I spent my entire day dealing with police over the phone because I apparently gave Senator Henry Laurens the money to cover up the fact that he’d been embezzling funds. _So_ crazy, right?"

John was going to throw up. He was going to pass out. He forced himself to take a shaky breath, his eyes wide and his heart pounding out of his chest. "Alex, I didn't mean-"

"Dammit," Alex muttered. "See, no, I tried to come up with a million reasons why you wouldn't be involved with this. I tried to tell myself that your dad found the password himself, or it slipped out, or  _ something _ , anything for you not to have had a hand in this, but here you are, and you know what? This really  _ fucking _ blows, John."

"Alex, please, just listen," John started, stepping closer. He felt his throat close up, but he had to say something,  _ anything _ .

“Listen? Listen to  _ what?  _ I know what happened," Alex‘s voice was low and hurt. "You helped your dad steal money from me. You helped your dad steal  _ five million dollars  _ from me. To cover up  _ embezzlement _ .  _ You _ covered up  _ embezzlement _ ."

"He's my dad," John defended, attempting to pull the family card, praying that Alex would understand.

"And what the hell has he done for you?" Alex cried. "I hear so much shit about him, I hear about how he's  _ hit _ you, how he made you feel like shit your whole life, how he ostracized you, cut you off from your family and left you to live on the streets! And you know what? I hate to fucking pull this, but I've done more for you in this past year than he's done for you in the past twenty!"

"That's not true," John blustered, refusing to believe that. There was no way John could sell out his father just like that, just stop loving him and appreciating all he's done. "He's my father, he's done everything for me!"

"Bullshit!" Alex yelled. "He's neglected you, he's abused you. Even when he came up here, he didn't believe you were doing this well. He asked me to tell him the  _ truth _ about you because he couldn't believe his son was succeeding. You and Phillip were homeless and I took you in-"

"Because you wanted to make yourself feel good and help out a charity case!" John spat, unintentionally trying to play the victim, though he knew it was not right since he was not the victim here.

Alex looked shocked. "Because I didn't think you should be homeless, unlike your father!"

"What were you even going to do with that money? It was just sitting there." John asked, squaring his shoulders up. He was getting defensive, and he knew he could get mean.

"Well, I certainly wasn't planning to help a bastard of a politician cover up years of embezzlement!" Alex shouted. "You want to know what I intended to do with all the money that you  _ stole  _ from me? I planned to pay for Phillip's college,  _ all _ of it. I planned to pay off your college, and pay for you to go back! If we had another kid, I was going to pay for their college, their schooling, everything! And  _ really? _ It’s  _ my _ money. What I was going to do with it doesn’t change the fact that you and your father  _ stole _ it!"

"He said he'd pay you back," John defended.

"I don't give a shit! Fuck him!" Alex yelled. "The guy I've lived with, and frankly? been _in_ _love_ _with_ for over a year lied to me, and stole _five_ _million_ _dollars_ from me!" Alex ran his hand over his face. "Fuck, I mean, the first good relationship I've had, well, ever, and you pull this shit! Do you have _any_ _idea_ how much this fucking hurts?"

"It was for my family!" John protested.

"When will you learn, John? He's not your family! Phillip and I are your family!" Alex shouted.

"Don't say a fucking word about my father or my family! You don’t know, you weren’t there!" John snapped, the anger in his chest bubbling up to his throat, dictating his words.

"Your father is a thief and a coward!" Alex yelled back. "Only a coward would hit his son, bully him into doing something like this! That's all your dad is! A bully! In politics, parenting, everything!"

"Shut up!" John shrieked.

"And you're still defending him! What has he ever done for you, John? What good, _lasting_ thing has he ever done for you? College? That was you. Housing? You. Raising your kid at an incredibly young age? Still fucking you! You did all that, and yet you still think you owe it to _him_ to get him out of the bullshit that he brought upon himself! Your father deserves to go to jail for what he did, and if I have any say in it, he will!" Alex brought his fist down on the counter.

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" John asked.

"It means that I'm taking my ass down to South Carolina and I'm going to get my fucking money back! I've been in contact with my lawyer, and you know what? I'm not leaving Charleston until I have every single penny back!"

"You cannot take my father to court!”

"Maybe you should have thought of the legal repercussions for him  _ before _ giving him access to my account!" Alex narrowed his eyes. "Tomorrow I'm heading down with Angie and Lafayette, and the only reason this shit isn't going to be affecting you is because I'm not pressing charges, which I could very easily do by the way. But don't you believe for a  _ second _ that I'm doing this for you. Don't you  _ dare _ think that this is because I don't want you to get in trouble. This is for, and  _ only _ for Phillip."

The two were silent for a few moments. Staring into each other’s eyes, seething.

"So what? What now, Alex?" John asked, quieter. "You yelled at me, you said what you needed to say, what now?"

"What now?" Alex raised his eyebrows. He reached over to the table and grabbed a key, tossing it to John. "Apartment four J in the building on the corner of twelfth and fifth. You’ve got six months of rent-free. I'll pack up your shit and give it to you tomorrow before I leave for the airport."

John felt like someone had punched him in the gut _. _ "What?"

"What do you mean, what? I’m kicking you out!" Alex cried, incredulous. "John, you lied to me, you betrayed me, you stole from me. I don't think you're getting this!" Alex blinked away tears. "And it makes it worse that I- I've been in love with you, for over a year, and I haven't said a damn thing, and I don't know why! I thought I would lose you, scare you off, something! And you’ve taken that from me too. Now I don’t even get to tell the guy that I thought was the love of my life that I love him."

"So..." John swallowed hard. "This is it?"

Alex paused. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" John asked.

Alex shut his eyes. "John, how  _ could _ I know? Frankly, my day has been a whirlwind of emotions, and I don't know what to think! I know that I loved you and now I'm pissed at you and I need to  _ heal _ before I even  _ think  _ about what comes next! So I don't know! I don't have a  _ damn _ answer."

"Alex, what about Phillip?" John asked slowly, not wanting to think about the heartbreak his child would feel, knowing he may never see Alex again.

"You can tell him whatever you want, tell him lies if you want, I don't, I don't know," Alex mumbled, looking down.

"So you're just not going to talk to him or-"

Alex cut John off, his eyes full of tears. "Shut up, John. You don’t get to feel outraged about this. And I don’t ever have to see you again if I don’t want to. It’s not my fault that you and Phillip are kind of a package deal." Alex wiped his eyes, trying to stop himself from crying, though it wasn't working. "Every time I've had a family it's gotten torn away from me, but I really thought this was it. I thought you were the one. You're the only person who's made me feel this good and this bad, ever. I don't know what to think, I don't know how to handle shit. And I’m really fucking scared that this is going to send me into a spiral, so thanks for that."

"Alex," John murmured, stepping forward, wanting to comfort Alex.

"No. No, get away from me," Alex commanded, his voice cracking. "Don't think you can talk your way into my arms."

"We can figure this out," John promised, his voice barely a whisper.

"Maybe we can. But not right now," Alex had given up trying to stop the tears from falling. "I need to think about everything, be one hundred percent sure I want to be with you, or one hundred perfect sure that I don't, because right now I don't know. I mean,  _ dammit _ , John. You were so good. So fucking perfect." Alex shook his head. "Fuckin' domestic shit just blinds me. I should've known. I should have trusted my gut. The first night you saw your dad, I just, I knew something was wrong with him. I didn't believe he was there for you, I knew something bad was going to happen, and it did."

"You can't blame him," John begged.

"Then who else, John?" Alex asked tiredly. "Your sister who knew what kind of abuse went down in that fucked up house of yours and never said shit about it? Fucking  _ God _ ? The system? Your  _ dad _ embezzled millions of dollars of cash, and then you helped him steal from me to cover it up. Whatever happened to you yelling about dirty politicians? This is like, the exact shit you fight against, and yet here you are, no better than they are." Alex shrugged, looking down at the floor.

"It was a mistake. Alex, I just, I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't want this to happen. I never meant to hurt you."

"Well it happened, and you hurt me," Alex snapped. "If you’re going to do dumb, self-destructive shit, face the consequences of your actions. And get the hell out of my house."

_ His  _ house. Alex had worked so hard to get John used to calling it their house,  _ their _ kitchen,  _ their _ room. 

"Okay."

"And take Basil," Alex mumbled, going to the back door. "I'll be out of town, and the apartment allows dogs, so just, keep him safe."

"Alex, he's your dog, we both know that," John mumbled softly.

"It doesn't change the fact that I'm leaving the house for over two weeks and it's too short of notice to hire a pet sitter," Alex mumbled, grabbing Basil's leash. "Look, if you want to go upstairs and grab some clothes for tomorrow, that's fine. I'll pack your stuff up, I know what's yours and what's mine, and I'll get Phillip's stuff too."

John swallowed hard and nodded, then went upstairs. He tried to pack as much as quickly as possible but trusted Alex to get the rest of it. He got his stuff, Phillip's stuff, and their toiletries, before walking downstairs and outside, putting his bags in the car before coming back to get Basil. He almost started sobbing at the sight before him, which was Alex, kneeled over, petting Basil's head, mumbling a small goodbye. Basil licked Alex's face, wagging his tail slightly. 

"Hey," John mumbled softly.

Alex stood up, handing Basil's leash to John. "Okay. Bye."

John nodded, walking towards the door and opening it. Just before he did though, he turned back, looking at the hurt on Alex's face. "Did you mean it?"

"Did I mean what?" Alex asked.

"When you said you were in love with me," John clarified.

Alex paused, swallowing and letting his eyes fall to the tile countertops. He remembered how the house originally had wood, but Washington made him change that in case he was ever cooking with raw chicken or meat. It was such a distant memory, but he remembered hearing from Washington that it was always better to be safe than sorry. The phrase felt like bullshit now. 

"Yeah," Alex answered. "I meant it."

John stood in the doorway like a deer in headlights. "Okay."

Alex nodded, and John left, both of their hearts shattering.

-

"Oh, my God," Lafayette gasped.

Herc looked up from his magazine. "What?"

"Alex and John broke up," Lafayette stated, looking over at Herc. "I just got a text from Alex, he said he needs to come over so we can discuss our trip, and he said that he and John just broke up."

"What the hell? Why?" Herc asked.

Lafayette bit his lip. "Five million dollars went missing from Alex's bank account and turned up in Charleston, South Carolina today. John knows Alex's passwords, and he's the only other person who knows them besides me."

Herc's face dropped. "I'm gonna pick up Phillip with William. I'll text John."

Laf nodded. "Alex said he's gonna be here soon."

"Well, the kids get out of school soon, so I'll head out now," Herc mumbled, texting John. "Yeah, I'll see you in a bit."

"Alright," Laf nodded, leaning over and pecking Herc's lips. "I love you."

"Love you too," Herc responded, standing up and walking to the front door, getting on his shoes and walking out. John sent back a thank you, and Herc put his phone down as he began driving. He felt himself tense as a police car passed him. Ever since that night a few months ago, Herc had been scared of cops. For a while, he couldn't take his car anywhere, because he would get panic attacks, so either Lafayette drove him, or him taking the subway. He hated being a bother, but Lafayette always brushed it off, saying he liked the extra time together anyway.

Herc arrived at the school, getting out and leaning against his car, waiting to see William and Phillip. It didn't take long for them to all walkout. Phillip and William were walking together, laughing at something while Beverly talked to Payne a bit behind them.

"Will! Pip!" Herc called out.

"Baba!" William smiled, coming over and hugging Hercules.

"Uncle Herc!" Phillip exclaimed, hugging Herc as well.

Hercules smiled and hugged them back. "Hey, Pip, you're gonna spend the night at my house tonight, alright?"

"But it's a movie night at my house," Phillip stated. "Papa and Alex and me always watch movies on Friday nights, and we get food from the Thai-Italian place."

Herc nodded. "I know, buddy, but it's just this one Friday, okay? And Alex will be here too, so you can watch movies with him."

"Where's my papa?" Phillip asked.

"Your papa is taking care of a thing with his family," Herc explained. "And he knew it would be too boring for you, so you and Alex are coming over to our house, and we're gonna hang out, okay?"

Phillip huffed but nodded, then got into Herc's car. Herc drove them home, stopping quickly at a coffee shop to get them hot chocolates and to get him a latte, and Laf an Americano, then a plain black coffee for Alex. Finally, he got home, he recognized Alex's car in the driveway already. He got out with the kids, then walked inside.

Alex was sitting on the couch with Lafayette, talking, eyes red and hair messy. He looked up when Herc walked in though, then smiled when he saw Phillip. Phillip smiled back at Alex, climbing up on the couch and giving Alex a hug.

"Hey, buddy," Alex mumbled, closing his eyes.

Phillip stopped smiling when he saw Alex's face. "Were you crying?"

Alex shook his head. "No, no, just allergies."

"Will, Pip, you two go play upstairs for a bit," Herc requested. "I got you two coffee."

"Oh, Jesus, thank you, Herc," Alex laughed, taking his and sipping it.

"Thanks, babe," Lafayette smiled, taking his. He turned to Alex again as Herc sat down in the love seat near the couch. "What happened?"

"John gave my bank account password to his dad," Alex croaked, covering his face with his hands. "And he took everything. All my savings, everything. As of right now, I have about two hundred dollars to my name."

"Shit," Herc mumbled slowly.

Alex shook his head. "This is such bullshit. I'm just, I'm in shock. I don't even know what to think. I mean, I'm gonna have to function like a normal adult in court, and I'm just, I can't even do that right now."

"So you guys are heading down tomorrow?" Herc asked.

"Yeah, we're meeting Angie over at my place, and then we're gonna drive down. I gotta leave at some point tonight because I gotta pack."

"Yeah," Laf nodded. "I got us hotel rooms, too. We're staying near the courthouse. I reserved them for two weeks, but we can extend them if we needed to."

"This is just such an asshole move. How stupid do you have to be?" Alex muttered. "I mean, how  _ goddamn _ stupid do you have to be to do something like this?"

Herc's eyebrows rose a bit. He knew what John did was wrong, but John was still his best friend of seven years, and no matter what, Herc didn't like it when people talked bad about him. It didn't seem right.

"I don't get it. And for his father?" Lafayette asked.

"I can't believe it," Alex mumbled. "His father's a scoundrel, and so, it seems, is he."

Herc stood up, offering a tight smile. "Alex, where is John staying?"

"I set him up in an apartment building, why?" Alex asked.

"Because I'm one hundred percent positive my best friend is going through hell right now, and yeah, it's not cool what he did, but he was my best friend before I knew you, I should be with him."

"Herc, is he really worth it?" Laf asked.

"Yes, Laf, he is," Herc stated coldly. "I’d much rather be with John right now than with you. What's the exact address?"

"Apartment four J on the building on the corner of twelfth and fifteenth," Alex said softly.

Herc nodded, walking to the door and getting his shoes back. "You two can watch the kids, I’m going to John's place. Bye."

"Bye!" Lafayette called out, confused by the outburst.

Herc was in a bit of a mood as he drove to John's place, mad at Alex and Lafayette, but trying not to let himself get more riled up. He arrived at the apartment building, getting out of his car and walking up to John's floor, then finding his door. Herc sighed, leaning against it for a second before knocking.

John looked pathetic, tears staining his cheeks. Herc didn't say anything, just pulled the man into a hug, letting John continue his cry fest. His best friend felt weak in his arms, shaking and crying. Herc pulled the two further into the apartment, sitting down on the couch. Basil was on the couch with them, placing his head in John's lap for comfort.

"I fucked up so bad," John choked out, his shoulders shaking.

"Hey, shh, hey, it's okay," Herc mumbled.

"It's not though!" John sobbed. "Herc, I ruined it. It's my fault."

"Shh," Herc cooed, petting John's hair. "I'm right here."

"And I can't do anything about it, that's the worst part!" John cried, wiping his cheeks. "I can't pay Alex back, I can't get my dad to do something else. My dad said nothing would happen, he said it'd be okay, but it's not!"

"What happened?" Herc asked softly. "This isn't like you, John. I know you wouldn't just do this, what happened?"

John sat up a bit, wiping his eyes and looking down. "I caught my dad trying to find Alex's passcodes, and I told him to stop. But, but he said that he needed the money, and if he didn't cover up whatever he needed to cover up, the family would be torn apart, and it would be my fault, and he kept telling me that it was going to be my fault that the family would be torn apart just like before, and so I helped him, because I didn't want to do that again!"

"Oh, John," Herc mumbled.

"And then I just felt so guilty all night, and the next morning I tried to get my dad to just, to give it back, but he didn't, and he just, he made it seem like it all made sense, but I think back to it now, and I just, I don't get it!" John sobbed again. "I hate that I did that!"

Herc hugged John closer to him, sighing. "It's okay. Hey, I'm gonna stay here tonight. I'm not gonna leave you alone. Laf has the kids, they'll be fine."

John nodded. "Thank you." He sighed, wiping his cheeks. "God, I have to go to his house tomorrow and pick up more shit. He said he'd pack up most of it for me. I don't want to go back there. I just, I don't."

"I'll go," Herc promised. "It's gonna be okay."

"Oh, God, what am I gonna tell Phillip?" John asked.

Herc paused. "Hey, how about I order some food? We can figure this out, John, but let's not do it on an empty stomach. It's gonna be okay, alright? And I'm gonna help you as much as I can. You don't have to deal with this shit alone, so I'm gonna get some food, and then let's sit down and talk about this."

John nodded, bringing his knees to his chest.

Herc kissed the top of John's head, then stood up to order food. He ignored a couple of texts from Lafayette, calling and ordering some Chinese food. John sighed, leaning back with Herc and staring up at the ceiling.

"The worst part is," John mumbled. "I don't even know why I did it. I mean, if my dad went to jail, our aunt would come up and take care of my siblings, and she's a way better parent. Our family wouldn't be torn apart, we'd just lose the worst part. I don't know why I did this."

Herc paused, then gently took John's hand. "Sometimes, when it comes to family, you feel as if you have an obligation towards them that goes beyond reason. Then you do things, and you feel stupid for doing them afterward."

John nodded and sighed. "I wish I could take it back, all of it. I never wanted to hurt him."

"I know," Herc said softly. "Everything is going to work out, though."

John sighed, groaning a bit as he squeezed Herc's hand lightly. "He told me he loved me. He was so mad, and he told me he’d wanted to tell me that he loved me before."

"Did you ever tell him you loved him?" Herc asked.

John shook his head. "No."

"Why?" Herc asked.

John thought for a long time, remembering every fake 'I love you' he gave Frances, remembering every time he wanted to say it to Alex or wished he could. He thought about every time he heard Alex say 'I love you' to Phillip, and how his heart swelled for that. He felt sadness bubble in his chest. 

"I don't know."

-

Alex stood outside of his house with Lafayette the next morning. Herc had come over and picked up John's stuff about an hour ago, and was now over at John's apartment with Phillip and William, unpacking. Alex and Laf were waiting for Angie to show up. They’d decided to race down to South Carolina. Well, Laf was riding with Alex, Angie was on her motorcycle.

"She's beautiful," Laf commented as Alex pulled the Lamborghini out of the garage. It was bright yellow, clean, smelling like new car.

Alex got out and ran his fingers across the car's paint. "She's gorgeous. I always wanted a car like this, and then I got it, and I never drove it, but oh man, I'm gonna see what this baby can do."

Lafayette nodded, putting his bag in the back. "So, I have all the papers and documents in my briefcase, and I know you have some. Washington approved the expenses, and Angie should be here soon. God, I haven't seen her in a long time."

Alex smiled as he heard the sound of a motorcycle. "Hey, queue Back In Black."

Angelica Schuyler pulled up to the house like a scene from a movie. Back In Black could've been playing, and it would've fit perfectly. Long legs, hard as steel, fitted in tight tight leather pants, a black leather jacket covering her torso. Her Harley Davidson hummed as she turned it off, putting down the kickstand and standing up. Her helmet came off and long long black curly hair fell down. She was a scene from a movie, and Alex loved that.

"Hey, Angie," Alex grinned, leaning against his car.

Angie bit her lip, then walked towards him, grabbing him by the chin and pressing her lips to his. Alex moaned in surprise, but kissed back, his hands falling to her ass and offering a squeeze. For a second, he could imagine it was John, but he pushed that thought out of his head as she pulled away, smiling.

"Heard you just dumped your man," Angie smiled.

"Maybe I did," Alex chuckled.

Angie nodded. "Lafayette, heard you got engaged."

"Maybe I did," Lafayette smirked.

"Alright, well, come on your pussies, I don't have all day, and if we want to get there in time to have dinner, we should head out. Nice car, Alex, you still have it?" Angelica asked, quirking her eyebrow.

Alex nodded. "I do, and you should probably not get used to seeing the front of it, because the only thing your gonna see on the way down is my brake lights."

"Oh? Really?" Angelica asked. "Okay, Hamilton. You're fucking  _ on _ ."

Alex nodded, then he and Lafayette got into the car and began driving, Angie just ahead of them. Alex knew it'd be more neck and neck when they got onto some less busy highways, but for now, they had to get out of Manhattan.

It took a while to get out of the New Jersey New York area, but soon enough, they were whizzing down a Delaware highway, Angie next to them, her motorcycle going as fast as her motorcycle could go, and Alex was getting up there too. The car was so low to the ground, he felt like he was sitting on the floor. Music was pounding, their speeds in triple digits. It was dangerous, but he and Lafayette were too busy laughing to notice. When they got to more congested areas on the highway, they slowed down, and at one point stopped to get lunch.

The ride, at normal speeds, should've taken them ten hours, but with the speeds they were going, they got there in six. It was about five when the three of them pulled into a Denny's. Alex and Laf got out of the car, stretching a bit, though they didn't feel too stiff since being in that car was like lying down a bit.

"Who won?" Angie asked.

"It was a tie," Alex replied. "Come on, I'm starving, and I could kill for some pancakes."

Lafayette nodded. "Merde, you know how I love American food."

"Stop fetishizing our country," Alex joked. "It doesn't deserve to be fetishized."

"You guys better shut your New York opinions up," Angie laughed as they walked into the restaurant. "This liberal shit may fly up north, but we're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy. This is a place where you can hang up a confederate flag and nothing bad is gonna happen to you, so you two may want to keep your opinions on the DL for a bit."

"It can't seriously be that bad," Alex chuckled, sitting in a booth. "I mean, come on."

"We're gonna have to wait about ten minutes for a waitress, Alex," Angie said.

"Whatever," Alex chuckled.

Ten minutes later, a waitress finally approached the table. "What can I get you guys to drink today?"

Alex, who was famished by now, gasped. "I want a black coffee, a short stack of pancakes, and mozzarella sticks, please."

"Waffles and coffee," Lafayette stated.

"Orange juice and biscuits and gravy," Angelica stated. The waitress wrote that down and left, leaving Angelica to look at the two of them. "Okay, so tell me a bit about what's going on? I got a basic idea from the papers you sent me, but I need a bit more."

"Basically, Senator Laurens stole a fuck ton of money from me, with the help of his son, my boyfriend, but I'm not pressing charges on John, for the sake of his son. Anyway, he was using it to cover up an embezzlement scandal, so I want to get my money back."

"Oh, no, do not start off with that. You want to get your money back, plus extra for your troubles," Angelica stated. "Know your worth, Hamilton."

"So a Walmart gift card and half a box of Cocoa Puffs?" Alex laughed.

"Please tell me you don't eat that shit," Angie groaned. "Where are we staying?"

"Laf has that information," Alex chuckled, pointing to the older French man.

"We're staying at Hotel Bennet," Laf told everyone. "Check-in is in about an hour, and we all have our own rooms. I think I got us a pretty good hotel, and there's free room service. Tomorrow, Alex has to go testify for a whole other court thing, but Angie, you need to be there. This has more to do with the fact that the money that was stolen from Alex went to cover up an embezzlement scheme."

"Yikes," Angie mumbled. "This is why I don't date."

Alex chuckled, leaning back. "You know, John and Phillip actually loved Denny's. We never came at any normal hour though, it was always when it was way too late for the three of us to be justifiably awake, and we'd get breakfast food, and Phillip always got-" Alex paused, feeling a lump build up in his throat. "I'm sorry, I gotta get a breath of fresh air."

Alex stood up and walked out of the restaurant. He unlocked his car and grabbed the pack of cigarettes he knew Lafayette had put in there, as well as a lighter. He took one, putting it in his mouth and lighting it up, then deeply breathing in. He hadn't smoked in over a year. The last time he did it was a little bit before he and John started dating, but he stopped when they got together, deciding it would be better for Phillip's lungs if he didn't smell like cigarette smoke. Alex pulled out his phone, the cigarette between his lips, and went to John's contact. There was still an unopened text from John. The timestamp read 10:30 am.

John: I absolutely adore you, Alexander. I'm thinking Mexican?

Alex began typing. 'I'm sorry. I love you, John. I can’t understand what you did, but we can talk about this, figure this out. I'll be back in a couple of weeks, and we can just, we can figure this out. I don't want to lose you, and I don't want to lose Phillip. You both mean the world to mean, and I love you both more than anything. I know you're probably doing something, but, I just.' Alex stopped typing, staring at the message. It was pathetic. It was sad, and it was weak. He deleted it and turned off his phone.

"That does not look like fresh air," Lafayette commented, leaning against the car next to him.

"It's not," Alex mumbled.

"You alright?"

Alex rolled his head, cracking his neck in a couple of places. "I feel like shit, Lafayette. I feel like complete and utter shit. I mean, my entire relationship went to hell and I'm sitting in a fucking Denny's almost a thousand miles away from home. My dog, my kid, and the guy who I am unfortunately still head over heels for are miles away and I can't talk to either of them. Just, fuck, shit, fuck."

Lafayette placed his hand on Alex's shoulder. "You finish the cigarette, come back in and join us. No more dating talk. Not right now. Just wanna keep you happy."

Alex rolled his eyes, slipping off Lafayette as the man went back inside. Alex pulled out his phone again, looking at the screen saver. It was still John, Phillip and him in California. Alex felt tears well up in his eyes, and he went to his settings, changing it to one of the default Apple screensavers.

He took another drag of his cigarette, sighing and scrolling through Twitter. His stomach flipped when he got a text message notification, but he rolled his eyes at Eliza's contact name.

Eliza: Heard you left John.

Alex: I did. Please, I've had a shit day, and I really would enjoy it not getting any worse. Can you just leave me alone?

Eliza: The only thing that's making it worse is the chain-smoking you will undoubtedly be doing. Don't handle this the way you handled Jay. For the sake of everyone who loves you, don't pull that shit. There's no point in losing more than necessary.

Alex: Don't tell me how to fucking handle my emotions, you crazy bitch. Do you know how much shit you put me through?

Eliza: Yeah, well I'm lucid enough right now to tell you that you need to just let yourself be sad about this. For once, Alex, the only thing you have to do is be sad, and just let yourself do that. Please, for the sake of your friends.

Alex: Fuck off.

Alex put his phone in his pocket, finishing off his cigarette and walking back inside. He sat down, digging into his food. He didn't say much, just nodded and listened. Finally, they could go to the hotel and check in to the hotel. It was nice, Laf did have good taste. Alex got into his room and instantly went into the shower. Laf had his ice bucket in hand, wanting a cold something to water down the bourbon from the hotel minibar when he saw Angie walk across the hallway to Alex's door in nothing but a robe with a medium-sized paper bag.

"Is he in there?" She asked.

Laf nodded. "Hey, uh, whatever you're gonna do, he is kinda going through a breakup."

"Men have the best sex when they're stricken with grief and overcome with heartbreak," Angelica stated. "Besides, everyone needs to cope."

"Yeah, but maybe you should let the cookies cool a bit," Lafayette suggested.

"I'll think about it," Angelica smiled, using the key Alex gave her and stepping into his hotel room. She dropped her robe, and pulled her vibrator from the bag, lying on Alex's bed and closing her eyes. She ran it up and down her thigh a couple of times, humming quietly to herself, before pressing it to where it needed to be.

She sighed, spreading her legs a bit more. She was going for a quick finish the first time around, so she turned it up to the highest setting on the highest setting and letting her mind drift to the idea of fucking Alex as she ran the vibrator up and down her shaft while her other hand worked her tip. In the paper bag, she also had a blindfold, some handcuffs, and some condoms. She finished the first time, moaning lightly, then put the setting on low, holding it there with her legs and grabbing her phone to wait for Alex.

"Whoa," Alex muttered, coming out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist.

"Mm, what took you so long?" Angelica muttered.

Alex didn't exactly want to admit he had been crying for a good solid while in there, so he just shrugged. "Do you want me to blow you?"

"Well, we could just fuck," Angie suggested.

Alex shrugged again. "Too tired."

"Alright, come here then," Angelica laughed a bit.

Alex dropped his towel, deciding there was no point in getting dress anyway. He got down on the bed, lying between her legs and leaning up for a kiss. Angelica tugged at his hair a bit, groaning and reaching down to touch his dick. Alex groaned, one hand touching her breast, the other hand holding him up. They got more into it, Alex grinding into her, listening to her moan when he ground into the right spots.

"For someone who's too tired to fuck, you're getting into this," Angie commented.

"I lied," Alex mumbled, kissing down to her neck. "Do I need a condom or...?"

The older woman groaned internally, not wanting to lose her dominate stature in bed, but then decided to let Alex have this since he was going through a breakup. "No, but try not to jizz in my ass though, I just showered."

Alex spit on his hand and then rubbed it onto his dick, since lube wasn't in their reach, then gently pushed his fingers into her. Angelica moaned lightly, sighing. Her muscles down there were a little sore from riding her motorcycle for six hours straight, so the pleasure was nice.

"I'm gonna push in, alright?" Alex asked.

"Alright, remember not to cum in me, I don't want to deal with that," Angelica explained.

Alex nodded, remembering all his training with John. "Yeah, alright."

Alex pushed in, sighing as he did so. He hadn't been the one to top in a long time, and he forgot how good it was. His head fell into the crook of Angie's neck and be began to kiss it, making sure not to leave hickeys. As much as he wouldn't mind that, he felt it would be inappropriate.

Angie, practically dying from the fact that they were in missionary position, pushed Alex onto his back and began riding him, reaching down and grabbing his throat. Since Alex was no stranger to her dominant side, he just held her wrist and arched his back, groaning.

"Yeah? You like that, you fucking bitch," Angie snapped. "Fucking disgusting dirty piece of shit, you like it when I ride your cock, don't you?"

Alex nodded, gasping a bit. "Fuck."

"Mm, I know you like that," Angelica scoffed.

Alex sighed and closed his eyes, pushing up his hips up to meet her. For a second, a quick second he could imagine John, and that was a sweet second. He could see John's head, bobbing up and down, feel that soft soft Puerto Rican hair, see those sweet golden green eyes.

Alex had to stay focused on where he was. He knew if he let himself dive too deeply into his thoughts of John, he'd start crying, and Angelica wasn't the biggest fan of that. At the same time though, Alex felt numb. He knew he was having sex, he knew it felt good, but it just felt, well, average, which is something that he never felt with sex with Angelica. It felt...

Wrong.

The only thing Alex could really think about was lying in bed with John too early in the morning. Both of them were tired, but they were happy there. John was stroking Alex's hair, Basil was sleeping at the foot of their bed. It was sweet and comforting. John wasn't working his morning shift that day, so he was just there with Alex.

"Mm, my dear boy," John had whispered softly. Alex remembered only responding with a kiss. It was so gently, so full of that morning drowsiness. Sun carefully was strewn through the curtains and onto the floor, offering a dark yellow light. Alex could almost feel the way John's hands felt against his skin. He could almost taste the honey-flavored chapstick on John's lips, leftover from the night before.

"I adore you, so much," Alex admitted to John. "You are my moon, my sun, and all the stars. If I could freeze this moment in time, I would, because I never want to leave you. I never want to know what it is like to live a day without your touch."

John had pushed some of Alex's hair back at that. He had smiled so tenderly and held Alex so close to his body. Alex remembered how comfortingly warm he felt, and how gentle John had been with him. It was a pleasant memory that filled Alex with warm sensations. He remembered how a couple of minutes later, Phillip had crawled into their bed between them, falling back asleep. It felt so whole, being with them. Alex felt like he finally fit like he was finally complete. Like all his years of working and working had lead up to this, and it was where he needed to be.

"Ah, shit! I'm gonna come!" Angie moaned.

Ah, right. Alex had to remember where he was. He held off, deciding to let Angie finish first. He kept moving his hips until she finally came onto his stomach, shaking, then slid off of him. Alex was still hard, so Angie gripped his cock and began jerking it off. Alex didn't really want to finish, but he decided that he might as well, so he filled his head with some intense images of sex with no one in particular, then came all over his stomach and Angie's hand. Angie chuckled, tossing Alex a hand towel and then picking up her robe and the paper bag.

"Hey, next time, I'm topping," Angie stated.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Alex asked, looking up.

"I mean that I'm topping," Angelica replied.

Alex just nodded slowly, listening to the door close. He finished cleaning up, throwing the towel to the floor. He sighed, looking up at the ceiling. He used to hate how Angelica would just leave after sex, but it was a relief to him now.

Alex stood up, unzipping his bag and finding a pair of boxers to put on. Then, he went to the hotel bed, stripping off the top two blankets and folding them neatly, placing them on a sitting chair. He looked into the hotel mini-fridge but found nothing but mini bottles of booze, which left his mind wondering. He didn't want to relapse, but at the same time, they looked great. Fuck.

Alex sighed, lying back down. He grabbed his phone, almost texting John out of habit, but withholding. Instead, he grabbed his laptop and turned on a Netflix show, sighing and getting comfortable. It wasn't exactly boring, but not the most entertaining thing ever, so Alex found himself zoning out a lot.

Alex finally got bored enough to turn on his phone and completely tune the show out, leaving it as background noise. Instead, he went to his photos, then to a specific photo album called 'John' with too many heart emojis. He scrolled up, clicking on the first photo, and smiling.

John had whipped cream on his nose and was flipping off the camera. The photo was sort of blurry, but it was sweet. John's cheeks were red, but he was smiling. Alex smiled too, scrolling through more photos. All of them were happy, cute, and then Alex got to one that made his stomach flip. It was a picture of John's ass covered in come. Alex stared at the photo, almost feeling the soft brown skin, the way it curves and bounces. The way John couldn’t always pull his jeans or pants over it.

Alex scrolled through a few more photos, more innocent ones, then came across a video. He knew exactly what video this was. It was filmed in the back of Alex's car after a date. Alex was filming, and they were doing something that could definitely get bumped out of his political position for.

Alex pressed play on the video, letting his hand trail into his boxers as he watched it. It started off with John sitting between his legs, peeling off his shirt. Alex, both in the video and on the bed, moaned at that sight. The camera shifted a bit as John pulled Alex down a bit farther, spitting on his hand and rubbing it onto his dick.

Alex, watching the video, carefully rolled on his side, pressing two fingers inside of himself. He sighed quietly, watching John pound into him in the video. Alex rolled onto his stomach, grinding into the mattress as he moved his fingers. It felt good, and the video was definitely helping.

"John," Alex moaned, moving his fingers faster. Alex wanted more inside of him, but he didn't have any toys, so he just dealt with it. He wanted to feel John though. He wanted to feel the way John grips his hips, the way they kiss, the way the room smells after they have sex.

Alex's fingers moved faster as he watched the video. He ground into the mattress. It was hot, and he remembered how good it felt. How quiet they both had to be, knowing that public sex wasn't legal. Oh, how John looked, his hair in his face, his lips with hints of blood of them from biting them so hard. Alex could feel how deep John was in him, and he remembered the way John just pounded into him relentlessly.

"Fuck!" Alex moaned loudly, adjusting the phone a bit so he could have better access. His stomach was heating up, and he felt his orgasm build up. He stopped when he saw John slow down, and then his heart jumped. He knew what happened next.

John looked up, straight into the camera, smiling lightly, hair in his face. "I adore you, my sweet Alexander."

In seconds the phone was off and Alex was sitting up, gasping for air as tears came to his eyes. He began coughing, choking almost, but it quickly turned into crying. Alex rolled onto his stomach, burying his face into his pillow and letting out heartbreaking sobs. He wanted to call John so bad. He wanted to hear his voice, listen to his gentle laughs.

Alex grabbed his phone, pulling up John's contact and pressing call. He was still crying as he listened to it ringing, tears running down his face. He just wanted to hear John's voice. This didn't mean he was caving, this didn't mean he was weak, he just wanted to hear it, just once.

"Hello? Alex?" John's voice came through the speaker.

Alex's throat clogged up, and anything he had wanted to say left his mind. He just listened to the static, and the light sound of John's breathing.

"Alex, are you there?" John asked. There was a bit more silence, and Alex could hear John huff over the line. "Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but if you have something you need to say or some-"

Alex cut him off by hanging up. It was a mistake, Alex knew that was a mistake. He shouldn't have called John, he shouldn't have caused such a huge fuss. Alex hated himself for that. He hated himself for calling John. He didn't want to do that. He wasn't weak, he could handle a breakup. Alex was a man, and he didn't need John, he didn't need a family, he didn't need anything. He was fine on his own.

Alex stood up and got dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a white tee shirt. He put a bit of gel in his hair, then left his room, going to Angie's and knocking. She opened it in nothing but a pair of sweatpants, her tits out in the open.

"Hey, what's up?" She asked.

"You wanna go out and go to a bar or club or something?" Alex asked. "I don't want to be in my room right now."

"Sure, lemme get dressed," Angelica replied. "You got cash?"

Alex nodded. "I'll get Laf and meet you both in the lobby. I'm calling an Uber."

"Alright, cool," Angelica smiled.

Alex went over, knocking on Laf's door. "Hey, dude, we're going clubbing. You in or out?"

"In, totally," Laf stated. "Where?"

"I'm just gonna say a club that serves virgin pina Coladas and has good strippers," Alex laughed. "Meet you in the lobby."

"Sweet,”

Alex nodded, jogging down the stairs. He sat down on a lobby couch, pulling out his phone and quickly ordering and Uber and looking for a few good strip clubs. He saw one with high reviews and good drinks, so he decided on that, waiting for the other two. Angie came down in a tight red dress, seating herself on Alex's lap and kissing his neck while they waited for Laf. He came down not too much longer after, and they all went out to the car, ready to party and dance way too much. It seemed, despite being older than both Laf and Alex, in her forties, Angelica was still ready and happy, with more energy than anyone else her age.

The three of them squeezed into the car, Lafayette beginning to drink a hotel mini rum due to some trouble in paradise. Alex was in the middle since he was the smallest, and there was no way a woman with hips like Angie's could fit in the middle. She had the body of an hourglass and the muscles of a gladiator. She was trouble, no one could deny it, but she was the best kind of trouble. She was the human equivalent of the adrenaline rush you get when you do something illegal. Alex felt terrified and empowered all at once when he was around her. He felt that way because he looked at her and saw a woman who had lost friends during the war, who had assumed Alex dead for over a month, who had been shot at, attacked. She had been through the unimaginable, and here she was, free.

Alex had always wanted to be like her. He wanted to be free from all that, but he knew she wasn't totally free. He knew it affected her just as much as it affected him. People all use different things to cope.

They got to the club, but stopped at the ATM outside, getting some cash. Lafayette was the main provider since he had more money than both Angie and Alex. He provided everyone with a fair amount of bills, and then they walked in.

It was loud, booming, with blue and red lights. Women danced on stage while people tucked money into their lingerie. People groped other people on the dance floor. Alex found himself quickly losing Angie and Lafayette but being okay with that. He made his way to a stage, watching a girl dance to the loud music. It was a heavy beat, and Alex found himself nodding his head as she shook her ass just within grabbing reach for him. He knew enough about strip clubs not touch though. That was always the rule. They could touch you, but you couldn't touch them. It was a lousy rule sometimes, but a rule nonetheless, and one that Alex followed diligently.

He left a few twenties with the girl, moving onto another, finding Lafayette there, making it rain with a few bills. Alex laughed and joined him, leaning against his friend a bit. Both of them had to admit it, strip clubs were fun. No matter what, it was nice to just be there, to be laughing. Alex had been taken to an all-male strip club at one point by Jay and watched the man drop quarters down men's g-strings. It was the most ridiculous thing he had ever seen, but it was absolutely amazing.

"I'm gonna get a drink!" Alex yelled.

"Alright!" Lafayette called back. "No alcohol though! You know why!"

Alex walked over to the bar. A girl gave him bedroom eyes and he politely waved. He did have a court hearing in the morning, and as much as he wouldn't have minded romping around the hay with a total stranger, he needed some amount of sleep.

"What's good here?" Alex asked the bartender.

"We have a great bourbon," the bartender replied.

Alex thought about what Lafayette had said. He knew it was a bad idea, but, currently, there weren't many good ones. "Yeah, sure, why not?"


	27. This Is What It Sounds Like When Two Doves Cry

John propped up his phone on the kitchen table. Phillip was next to him, coloring, and John usually would just be reading or working on something, but he had stuff to do. It had been a few days since the break-up, and after moping around for a bit, John had managed to pull it together enough to get some things done. One of the first things he needed to do was to help with the fact that when his father goes to jail, his siblings weren’t going to have a legal guardian, so it was John's job to arrange that. He couldn't move back down there, but he and Martha were arranging things via facetime.

"Okay, I'm gonna merge Aunt Gale right now," Martha mumbled through the Facetime call. John and she had been discussing viable options for care, and they decided that the best person for the job was one of their mom's sisters, Gale, who was currently living in New Orleans in an apartment.

"Well, hello, Martha, how are-" She trailed off. "Well, I'll be damned... John Laurens, is that you?"

"Hi, Aunt Gale," John smiled, waving.

"Good lord! Look at yourself, boy! You look more grown than any Laurens man I've ever met," she jittered. "You grew up to be a fine man. Take a step back so I can get a good look at you, darling."

John stood up and took a few steps back, holding out his arms a bit. "Ta-da?"

"Oh, hon, you look so handsome. We need to get together real soon, have a good ol' family reunion," Aunt Gale chortled.

"Papa, who's that?" Phillip asked, leaning in to see the camera.

"And who's this cute little potato pie over here?" Gale sang, craning her head a bit.

"Aunt Gale, this is my son, Phillip Laurens," John stated, sitting back down and moving the phone so she could get a good look at him.

"Well isn't he just the cutest thing in the whole wide world!" Gale smiled. "Looks just like you, John, with such gorgeous hair. That’s your mama's hair, hon."

John smiled, glad Gale didn't bring up the mother thing. "You think so?"

"Mm-hmm, that's a Laurens boy no doubt," Gale chuckled. "Now, what did y'all call me up for? Martha said it was important."

John nodded, sitting down. "Gale, do you have much idea about what's going on with our dad right now?"

Gale cocked her head, leaning forward. "Well, no honey, I haven't heard much about that, only that he got himself into some trouble."

"He got caught in some  _ legal _ trouble," John started. "And he's guilty. It's not looking good. He took a bunch of money from another politician to cover up embezzlement, and he's gonna get jail time no matter what- at least five years- and that's just for corruption." John pinched the bridge of his nose. "Then he's still gonna have to go to court against the politician, who's got like, a really good lawyer."

"You can just call him Alex, John," Martha stated.

"Wait, who's Alex?" Gale asked.

"John's boyfriend," Martha stated. "They were roommates, but looks like John is somewhere else now."

"Alex and I need a bit of space right now," John mumbled. "Look, okay, this is off topic and not what we're here to discuss." John tried to ignore Phillip's eyes on him. He hadn't really explained a lot to Phillip, just told him that Alex was on a trip for a bit, which wasn't a lie. "Our dad is going to be in prison for a while, and I can't move back down there, and Martha is headed off to college in the fall, and we need a guardian for Henry, Jemmy, and Mary."

Gale nodded. "And I can live in that big house rent-free?"

John nodded. "Yes."

"Alright, I'll do it," Gale smiled. "When should I come up?"

"As soon as possible," Martha stated. "Regardless of whether dad goes to prison or not, we need someone up here. Gale, we know you, and we trust you, since you, like our mother, are a special ed teacher, and it's obvious this family could not produce a single able-bodied child. We'll give you access to our father's bank account if he goes to prison, and that way you'll have more control over our financials for bills."

"We really appreciate this, Gale," John said softly. "Will you be okay to leave New Orleans for so long?"

She nodded. "Yes, I will. I can begin packing now and get up there in the next couple of days. Until your dad is officially in prison, I'll just bring some vacation stuff, but when he finally does, I will go back down and get the rest of my things, just in case something happens."

"Okay, that sounds great," Martha nodded.

"And how are you two doing?" Gale asked. "How's Phillip?"

"I'm fine!" Phillip smiled. "I don't even like my grandpa."

John closed his eyes and shook his head. "Phillip and my dad have a complicated relationship."

"I wanna see Alex again," Phillip stated.

"I know, buddy, but Alex is on a trip," John stated. "Hey, I need to have a bit of adult time with my sister and aunt, can you give us a few more minutes?"

Phillip huffed a bit but nodded, getting up and going to the couch.

"So what's the deal with Phillip and his grandpa?" Gale asked.

"Oh, he's only met him once, really, and my dad wasn't exactly excited that he has a grandkid, which I think is ridiculous, because, I mean, I'm twenty-seven, I could be having kids already anyway. I mean, granted, I had my kid at twenty, but still," John chuckled. "No, he does well in school, and he just, he's really good." John chuckled as Basil came over and put his head on John's lap. "Hey, boy, you look like you need a walk."

"What about this Alex fellow?" Gale asked.

John turned to look at Phillip, who had been sucked into his coloring, then looked back. "Uh, Alex is great, really. He's a nice person, and he helped me and Phillip out when we were really struggling."

"And what's this about you two needing space?" Gale continued.

John shrugged. "It's just, with my dad, and everything, we got into a fight, and Alex is on his trip, we just needed a little bit of space from each other. He needs to figure things out."

"Does Phillip like him?" Gale continued.

"He calls Alex his other dad," Martha informed her.

John smiled and nodded. "Yeah, he does. Uh, let's see, things have been going pretty okay for me up here. I got a good job, and you know? Things are going well."

Gale smiled. "I'll have to come up and visit you. It sounds like a hoot up there."

John smiled and nodded. "Well, I just wanted to make sure the kids had someone to watch over them. If you and Marty wanna talk more, don't let me get in the way, but I gotta walk the dog, and I'm meeting my friend at the park later, so I really do need to get going."

"Alright, well you call me soon," Gale smiled.

"Will do, Aunt Gale," John replied. "I love you guys, both y'all."

"We love you too, John," Martha replied before John hung up. John sat back in his chair, sighing for a second before shoving his phone in his pocket and getting up to sit on the couch with Phillip. John smiled, sitting back and looking over at the coloring page. It wasn't bad, really. Phillip had always been a good artist, and he was very enthusiastic about art, so John figured his son was going to have another major that wouldn't get him far in a capitalist society, but would definitely let him indulge in his passion.

"Hey, buddy," John smiled.

"Are you and Alex broken up?" Phillip asked. "Because we haven't seen him in a long time, and we're not at his house anymore."

John took a deep breath. "Things between Alex and I are complicated, right now, Phillip. It's an adult thing."

"I don't care if it's an adult thing!" Phillip huffed. "That's not fair! I wanna know!"

"You don’t need to yell," John said calmly. "I'm going to try to explain this to you as best I can, but I would like you to understand that there's only so much I know too. Okay?"

Phillip nodded, his face scrunched up.

"And if you have questions, just ask," John stated. "I'll try to answer them."

Phillip nodded again.

"Okay, Phillip," John sighed. "Alex and I got into a fight a few days ago. It has a lot to do with why grandpa is going to jail, and why Alex is down south right now. Alex was very upset because grandpa took a lot of money from him, so we decided it would be best if Alex had some alone time to figure his feelings out. You know?"

"Like when I go to my room," Phillip compared. "Because stuff is too loud and bright and feels wrong."

"Exactly," John stated. "We're here because Alex needs alone time when he gets back from his trip."

"And then we're gonna go back, right?" Phillip asked.

John gently pushed a few curls behind Phillip's ear. "I don't know buddy. Sometimes things happen, and even though you care about people very much, it's hard to be around them still. I promise, Alex loves you very much, but he just needs space right now. He needs to figure some stuff out, and no matter what, I'll always be here."

Phillip's eyes welled up with tears. "But I want Alex too."

"I know, I know," John mumbled softly. "It's gonna be okay."

"I thought we were all a family," Phillip cried out, tears beginning to run down his cheeks.

"Oh, honey," John cooed, scooping Phillip up in his arms. "I know, I know. It's okay." John had to stop himself from crying, which was proving difficult seeing as his heart was breaking for the millionth time that week. John was gentle with Phillip, rocking him lightly as the little kid cried.

"Can you sing to me?" Phillip asked softly.

John sighed, nodding a bit as he curled Phillip's hair in his fingers. 

"When we arrive, sons and daughters, we'll make our home on the waters. We'll build our walls of aluminum, we'll fill our mouths with cinnamon. These currents pull us 'cross the border. Steady your boats arms to shoulder. 'Til tides all pull out hull aground. Making this calm harbor now home. When we arrive, sons and daughters, we'll make our homes on the water. We'll build our walls of aluminum, we'll fill our mouths with cinnamon. Hear all the bombs, they fade away. Hear all the bombs, they fade away. Hear all the bombs, they fade away. Hear all the bombs, they fade away."

Phillip sniffled. "I miss Alex."

"I do too," John admitted. "It's all gonna work out though, I promise. Hey, do you still want to go to the park with Will and uncle Herc or should we just stay home? We can do whatever you want, buddy, no pressure for anything, it's okay to be too sad to do something, but I'm not gonna leave you alone."

Phillip shook his head. "No, I wanna see William."

"Okay, we're gonna go to central park, and we're gonna take Basil, alright?" John told Phillip. "We're gonna leave in a few hours. What do you wanna do until then?"

Phillip shrugged and cuddled into John's chest a bit more, closing his eyes. John took a hint and lied back, stretching out on the couch and closing his eyes as well. Basil jumped up on the couch and laid down between John's legs, resting his head on John's thigh. John gently ran his fingers through Phillip's unruly hair, trying to work out any knots in it. It really needed to be cut, and John almost wanted to straighten it to see how long it really was, since Phillip's hair had tighter curls than his, and the shrinkage was real.

John almost laughed at the idea of Phillip with totally straight hair. Regardless of how straight it was, it would still be outrageously thick, and probably not much easier to handle. In many ways, the curls were nicer, because it was easy to work with, and mostly low maintenance until wash day.

It was a lazy couple of hours, John feeding Basil and Phillip, both of them watching an episode of Barbie: Life In The Dreamhouse before heading out. John made sure Phillip was warm enough, and then hooked up Basil and began walking to the park. He held Phillip's hand as they walked through the busy streets. They were given a bit of a girth thanks to Basil.

"John Laurens!" Someone called out. "John Laurens, what can you tell us about your father and his embezzlement? What about the rumors that the money he used was your partner's, Alexander Hamilton?"

John quickly picked up Phillip, pulling the kid's hood up. John looked around for a second before he spotted the press. It was terrifying, truly. The only time he had been stopped on the street was with Alex, and Alex had handled it. John just tried to find that part of him. 

"Leave us alone. I'm not taking questions."

"John, is it true that your father stole the money from Alex?" The reporter asked.

John was about to cut in, fear pulsing through his veins, but suddenly, Basil began barking. Not in a way they had heard him bark, but in an angry, almost vicious way. The reporter jumped, moving backward as Basil snarled at them, drool coming out of his mouth.

"I'll sic him on you," John threatened. The reporter was gone in seconds, and Basil let out a low growl, but just turned to John, panting a bit. John set Phillip down, then patted Basil's head. "Good boy."

"Thank you, Basil," Phillip smiled.

Basil wagged his tail and licked Phillip's face, bringing giggles from the younger boy. John took Phillip's hand again and they continued walking. John had seen that camera and prayed people would see that as a hint to leave him the hell alone. John wasn't in the mood for this shit anymore.

They arrived at the park and John saw Herc sitting on a bench with William. When Phillip saw William, he instantly ran over, John behind the two of them, smiling at Herc, who offered a bit of a tired smile back. This had John cocking an eyebrow as he sat down, Phillip and William going to go play. Herc gave John a to-go mug filled with warm coffee, and John tied Basil to the bench, scratching the dogs head as it sat down.

"Hey, what's up?" John asked.

"Hm? Oh, not much," Herc mumbled.

"You look down, what's going on?" John asked, nudging Herc.

"Oh, God, John, I'm really the last person who should be complaining right now," Herc chuckled. "I mean, especially with-"

John cut Herc off. "Let's ignore that for now. Come on, talk to me. I need the distraction anyway, and I'd much rather try to deal with your problems then my own. Come on, spill."

Herc took a deep breath. "I think Laf is cheating on me."

This was not at all what John expected. He expected maybe something about schooling or just a bit of Lafayette stuff, but nothing like this. John leaned forward, putting his hand on Herc's knee. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean, I just, can I show you?" Herc asked.

John nodded. "Yeah, yeah."

Herc pulled out his phone, going to Snapchat. He found Laf's story and clicked on it, then tilted his phone so John could see. "There's a lot of Alex in this."

"It's fine," John mumbled.

He began watching Laf's story, hoping he could reassure Herc that it was nothing. The first thing he saw was a mirror selfie with Angie and Alex and Laf, all posing with money in their hands, looking ready to go out to a bar. Then there was a video, obviously filmed in an Uber. It took a second to load but did eventually. The camera was on Alex, who had wads of cash in his hands.

"Hey, Alex, how much money is that?" Laf asked.

"About five hundred dollars," Alex answered, not paying attention.

"What are we gonna do with it?" Laf asked.

"Tip strippers," Alex stated, looking over. He smiled when he realized he was being filmed. "What are you doing?"

That video ended and the next one played. It was Lafayette making it rain while a stripper twerked on a podium in front of him. He was laughing, obviously drunk, cheering on the stripper as she shook her ass. John almost wanted to look up and ask Herc if he was sure about marrying this, even if Laf wasn't really cheating. The story was pretty much all that, and by the time John finished it, he had a slight urge to knock Laf on his ass.

"Tell him that's not okay," John stated.

"I don't want to seem clingy," Herc mumbled.

"Alright, then I'll do it," John chuckled, sliding up on Laf's story and quickly typing in a 'You’re engaged, please stop’ before sending it.

"John!" Herc gasped. "What did you say?"

John handed the phone back. "I told him you didn't appreciate it. I mean, no, okay, Herc, this is bullshit. You don't need to let him do this, and telling him to stop is not being clingy, it's having boundaries. He should know you get anxious about this shit, and you have some abandonment issues, and you know what? If he has to sacrifice a night out because you aren't comfortable with him feeling up strippers all night, then sucks to be him."

"I dunno, he's probably busy so I'll..." Herc looked down at his phone. "He's typing."

John took a sip of his coffee and leaned forward. "What's he saying?"

"He said he's just doing it for Alex to cheer him up," Herc told John.

"Fuck that!" John exclaimed, rather loudly for someone at a children's park. "What are you gonna say?"

"I'm going to say it makes me feel uncomfortable and upset," Herc stated, typing.

"Damn right," John nodded. "End the message with a period so he  _ knows  _ you mean business."

" _ Hell _ yes," Herc whispered under his breath, sending the message. "I mean, I have a right to be upset about this, right?"

"You do," John nodded. "If I saw Alex pulling that shit when we were still together, I wouldn't let it fly. You have every right to be upset."

"Oh, that's him!" Herc gasped as his phone buzzed. He opened it, then bit his lip. "He said I should be more understanding, it's not a bit deal." Herc paused. "Maybe he's right. I dunno, he's never done anything like this before."

"Fuck that, lemme see the phone," John muttered, taking the extended phone and beginning to type. "Okay, here's what I said. 'It is a big deal to me, and I would appreciate it if you considered how I feel when I see my fiance feeling up strippers on his Snapchat story.' How's that?"

"Send it," Herc nodded.

John sent it and they waited. Lafayette was typing, then he wasn't, and then he was again. It took a few more seconds for him to send 'I'm not having this conversation right now.' John rolled his eyes at that, handing it to Herc.

"He's being difficult," Herc muttered.

"Is this like, out of nowhere?" John asked.

"No, it started when Alex came over the day before they left, and they were saying some shit about you that I didn't like," Herc mumbled.

"They probably weren't wrong," John chuckled darkly.

"I don't care, you're my best friend," Herc stated. "You know, John, you were one of the few people who were actually there for me when my wife left me, and for that, I'm going to be there for you, no matter what happened. Truthfully, I don't believe you deserve all the blame you're getting. Anyway, what Laf and I got into a fight over was the fact that I stood up and said that I had more of an obligation to you than Alex's pity party, and I guess that was over the line or something."

"Oh, God, Herc, I mean, I'm really living for the you that's not afraid to stand up for yourself, but was it the best idea to pick a fight with your fiance about me?" John asked.

Herc shrugged. "I'm not even sorry. I called it what it was, and then I went and binged Chinese food with you."

John rolled his eyes playfully.

"Relationships are hard," Herc mumbled. "You know, we could've stayed single dads forever, married each other for tax benefits, opened up an operatic strip club, and spent our days drinking margaritas and yelling out the government."

John nodded, resting his forehead on Herc's shoulder. "I just want you to know that it's not too late. We can always just like, take the kids and move down to Ecuador, or Jamaica."

Hercules laughed a bit, watching Phillip and William play. "Your dad is a fuckass for causing all of this."

"I did help him," John mumbled.

"I don't believe there was no manipulation and abuse going on in that whole thing," Herc scoffed. "I mean, John, I know you, pretty damn well I like to assume. I mean, I've seen your dick, you've seen mine, we've lived together, I think we've reached a point where there's nothing we don't know about each other."

John tried to hide a grin.

"Unless…?" Herc gasped. "What is it?"

"You can't make fun of me for this," John stated.

"I promise, I promise, I won't," Herc giggled.

"I let Alex eat my ass a lot," John sighed. "And I really liked it."

Herc screamed a bit, covering his mouth with his hand. "John! Oh my God! It's great though, isn't it?"

"Yeah, surprisingly really nice," John nodded. "I mean, the first time we did it, it was his birthday, and I thought I might as well just let him, but you know what? It turned me on. I couldn't finish from that, obviously, but it was still really nice."

"Lafayette always made me finish when he'd eat my ass," Herc chuckled. "Probably because I definitely bottom for him."

"Okay, real shit, have you ever tried topping with him?" John asked. "Because I know you've topped with a few guys before, and then like, you've been with ladies too."

Herc nodded, laughing. "Yup. Oh, God, that was such a mess. We ended up not even getting to it because we both were laughing so much. Laf says I have too much bottom energy."

"You do," John chuckled.

Herc sighed and leaned against John a bit more. "He's being kind of a dick."

"He is," John agreed. "Maybe you should call him tonight? Or Facetime or something, just to have this conversation. Text arguments are never good, honestly, and it's hard to interpret sometimes. It'll get better. And if it doesn't, I'll fly down to South Carolina and slap some sense into him. Or shove it up his ass, since he clearly hasn’t had that done to him in a while."

"God, maybe I should just go down there," Herc muttered. "But I can't miss work, Will can't miss school." Herc paused. "I don't get men."

"Me neither," John mumbled. "We should go out."

"What?" Herc asked.

"Like, we should go out clubbing this Friday or something." John chuckled. "You know, show them that they aren't the only ones who can have a good time."

"If you want to piss Alex off, invite Martha Manning," Herc chuckled. "He never really liked her."

"What? Why?" John asked.

"Jealousy," Herc shrugged. "Laf told me a bit about it. Just thinks you and her are too touchy or whatever."

John rolled his eyes. "Course he does. You know what? Yeah, we're gonna go to a strip club, get drunk, blow some cash. I'm gonna get laid, you're gonna make Laf jealous, and it's gonna be great."

"Let's invite Sally too, she is always good for a nice night of clubbing," Herc stated. "That way when you and Martha go to undoubtedly makeout, I'll still be able to dance with Sally."

John rolled his eyes. "What makes you think Martha and I are gonna hook up?"

"Uh, John? I don't know if you know this, but when you were both single, and she was living with you, she couldn't keep her damn hands off of you, and vice versa." Herc laughed. "You two had so much sex, John, it was ridiculous."

"We were horny college students," John shrugged.

"I don't think it's legal for lawyers to hook up with their clients," Herc stated out of nowhere. "I mean, is it? It sounds like, illegal or something."

"Uh, yeah, I don't think it's the most legal thing ever either, why do you say that?" John asked, looking over.

"Because Angelica and Alex are hooking up," Herc stated.

"Yikes," John mumbled. "Yeah, that doesn't sound legal, and I suddenly feel way less bad about wanting to hook up with someone."

Herc nodded. "Good." He paused for a second. "How are you doing?"

John chuckled darkly. "I explained to Phillip what was going on today, and it was pretty heartbreaking. I dunno. I've been trying to keep it together, but I definitely cry in the shower. I dunno. I don't know what's gonna happen. I'm just, I feel like shit. It's really all my fault, and I just, I don't know how to make it up to him, I don't know how to tell him I'm sorry."

"So you want to get back together with him?" Herc asked.

John nodded. "I do. I mean, Herc, he, he's really perfect, and Phillip loves him, and he's done nothing wrong. He's a really good guy, I just fucked it up."

"What did your dad say to you that night?" Herc asked. "I mean, John, you wouldn't just do that. It's not you, so what happened?"

"He told me that the family would be torn apart from his arrest and that it would be my fault, and I've already done that once, and I should just, I shouldn't let it happen again. I tried to get it back the next morning. I mean, I was wracked with guilt, and I really wanted to get it back. I did stand up to him, I told him to give it back, I told him that taking the money wasn't right. Then he..." John trailed off, shivering at the memory of his father's sharp hand.

"He what?" Herc asked.

"Nothing," John mumbled. "He just, he didn't give it back."

"Wow, you really are a terrible liar," Herc chuckled.

John gasped, looking over. "I'm a great liar, Herc."

Herc rolled his eyes. "What did he actually do?"

"He hit me," John mumbled. "Look, it's not a big deal, okay? He did it all through my childhood, and it's just, it's not like he beats me or anything, it's just him reminding me to hold my tongue or something. I mean, I'm a grown man, I'm not defenseless, and it was fine. Just surprised me."

"Yeah, that's total bullshit," Herc scoffed. "First of all, he shouldn't have been hitting you at all, no matter what. I mean, John, I love you, but if I ever saw you hit Phillip, I'd beat the shit out of you. Secondly, he shouldn't be hitting you, in your own home, to keep covered up what he did wrong. You knew what you did was wrong, you tried to fix it, he hurt you for it. I do believe the shit we go through as a child affects us well into adulthood, so of course, you gave into your dad, the man's been hitting you your whole life, and he's fucking terrifying anyway. Finally, I don't give a damn if you're a grown man, I don't give a damn if you're not defenseless, he has no right to hit you, no right to be the abusive shit he's been."

"He's not abusive," John mumbled. "He just doesn't like me."

"Boy, you know that’s not true," Herc mumbled. "I mean, your dad sounds like a textbook abuser. I would know, because this was part of my teacher training, learning to tell the difference between a good parent and an abusive one." Herc shook his head a bit. "Did you ever tell Alex any of this?"

"No!" John gasped. "I mean, he knows my dad has hit me, but I didn't stop during our whole argument to tell him that for my entire life my father has been my biggest fear and he's a master of manipulation and the only reason I helped him was because I haven't gotten enough therapy to realize that I'm worth more than that."

"Baby, you need therapy," Herc stated.

"Oh, and with what health insurance?" John asked. "Believe me, between that thing with my boss a while back, this shit, and God, everything really, I know I need therapy, I'm just really,  _ really _ broke."

"Why can't you get health insurance?" Herc asked.

"Pre-existing conditions and Trump fucked up a lot about Obama's health care policies, including that, so, it's pretty impossible for me to find one that isn't bloody expensive with a forty thousand dollar deductible," John muttered. "I'm currently in the midst of getting Phillip covered."

"John," Herc laughed. "Your kid isn't currently covered?"

John rolled his eyes, chuckling. "He’s vaccinated, so cut me a bit of slack. Health insurance is difficult. Alex was helping me out since I've never actually really gotten someone insured, but I'm gonna figure it out."

"You are so obviously still in your twenties," Herc teased.

John rolled his eyes. "Yeah, alright, Herc."

"Hey, everything is gonna be alright, right?" Herc asked, looking at John.

John nodded. "Literally no matter what, you and I will always have each other, Herc. Worst comes to worst, we move in together, get married, raise our children together, grow old together, move to Thailand and get massages on the beach every day in retirement, die drunk and happy. Remember, that's the worst-case scenario, and it's great, so obviously, we're gonna be just, fine, I promise."

"Good," Herc mumbled. "Do you and Pip want to come over for dinner? Basil can hang out in the backyard, we can eat some Costco dinner and watch Big Hero Six and cry and freak our kids out."

"That sounds great," John nodded.

They all stayed a little longer before making it back to Herc and Laf's house with a Costco dinner of ribs. Herc put them in the oven and then waited for them to be done with John, while Phillip and William played with Basil. When it was finally cooked, they all sat on the couch and watched the movie. John and Herc ended up crying, and Phillip and William didn't quite understand why but hugged their fathers regardless.

When dinner was over, John and Phillip headed back home, tired, and dreading work and school the next morning. Phillip didn't want to go and requested to stay home, but John told him it was best if he went.

They got home and got ready for bed, and it was just like all the times before they lived in Alex's house. Small apartment bathroom, tight quarters that they fell right back into as if it was natural. John and Phillip slept in the same room in the same bed, for purposes that had more to do with the fact that it's what they did in apartment life. John and Phillip had always slept together, and it was easy to fall back into that tradition.

John read Phillip another chapter of Harry Potter before turning out the light, closing his eyes and falling asleep quickly. He was tired, but John always was when he finally hit the bed. He didn't know how he survived most days if he was being honest, but if apartment life was permanent again, then he was going to have to start saving up. Also, he had no idea how much money Alex thought he made, but with his savings and everything, he couldn't do another six months in this thing, so he and Phillip would move into a smaller one. John absolutely hated how much they moved, but he knew they never really had a choice.

It was three in the morning when John's phone began ringing. John declined the call, going back to sleep, but ten seconds later it began ringing again. John groaned, feeling Phillip shift next to him, and sat up, looking at the caller ID. It was Alex. John denied the call again. Then his phone started buzzing with texts.

Alex: im jus gon keep callig

Alex: plz plz baby

Alex: johnnnn plz plz pick up baby i need u

Alex: i need u so bad

John: It’s 3 am, leave me alone.

Alex: baby plz i wanna hear your voice

John sighed loudly, standing up and walking into the living room. He sat down on the couch, then pressed the call button for Alex's contact. He pressed his phone to his ear and waited for two rings until Alex picked up.

"Hi!" Alex chimed, laughing a bit.

"Alex, it is three in the morning, I have to get up in an hour, what the hell do you want?" John huffed.

"Hehe, grumpy Johnny," Alex slurred. "Baby, baby. Pretty. Like a baby raccoon."

"Are you drunk?" John asked, shocked.

"Nope," Alex scoffed. "I'm sober for six whole years."

John's head dropped, his hair falling in his face. "You're drunk. Jesus Christ, Alex. First you let Laf take you to strip clubs, then you start  _ drinking _ ? Why are you calling me?"

"Because I love you," Alex slurred out. "And I wanna talk to you until I can't talk anymore. I love you, John. Love you, love you, love you."

"Stop it, Alex," John muttered. "You're drunk."

"Angie and I have been having a lot of sex," Alex started. "She tops me, so if I close my eyes, I can pretend it's you, but it's never you. You're so, so,  _ you _ ."

"Alex, please, stop," John mumbled.

"I called you the first night here, and I know you thought it was a joke, but I wanted to talk to you so bad, but I was too scared," Alex continued. "I want Angie to be you so bad, you have no idea. I want to see you and kiss you and I want you to fuck any trace of her out of me."

"Stop talking," John whimpered, feeling tears in his eyes.

"I wanna marry you, Johny," Alex whispered sadly. "Wanna call you mine. I don't care what you did, I don't care you helped your dad steal from me, I wanna-"

"Alex!" John cried out. "Shut up!"

That got him to shut up.

John dropped his head, wiping his cheeks of tears that had started fighting. A small sob escaped his chest as he listening to Alex’s broken breathing. It broke his heart that Alex was drunk, he knew how much Alex had put into his sobriety, and he hated that he was the reason Alex started drinking again. He also hated that Alex was trying to fuck his way out of his emotions. John had no idea how he felt about the fact that Alex pictured him instead of the woman he was with, but he knew he absolutely hated how many times Alex had told John he loved him.

"John?" Alex whined softly.

"Please, Alex, can't you just shut up for a second?" John snapped. "I know that I caused this, but you had no right waking me up an hour before I'm supposed to go to work to tell me all this bullshit."

"I thought you would want to know," Alex said mumbled, liquor jumbling his words together.

"What? That you're drinking again? That you're sleeping with someone else? I have a kid, Alex. It’s three in the morning.” John sighed. "Jesus Christ, Alex, I'm really not in the mood."

"Papa, is that Alex?" Phillip asked from the doorway.

"No," John answered.

"No, John, I want to talk to him," Alex begged. "Please."

John put down his phone. "Phillip, honey, I'm having a grownup conversation, could you please go back to bed?"

"I wanna talk to Alex," Phillip huffed. "I know you're talking to him. Why do you get to talk to him and I don't?"

John was about to start crying. "Phillip, please, it's really late, and you need to go to sleep. I'll explain everything in the morning."

"No! I wanna talk to Alex!" Phillip demanded.

"Alex is sick," John spat out. "He drank poison, and he's really sick Phillip, and he's barely managing a conversation with me. He's about to go to bed anyway, honey. He really needs to sleep. Please, just, go back to bed, and I'll talk to you about it in the morning."

Phillip huffed and turned around, storming back into the room.

John groaned, picking his phone back up. "Alex, I’m going to go."

"No, John, please!" Alex gasped.

John hung up and called Lafayette, pinching the bridge of his nose. It rang three times before Laf picked up. John beat him to the chase. "Hey, Laf, I need you to go and take Alex's phone and prop him up on his side, because he's drunk-calling me relentlessly. I have work in two hours, and it’s really starting to piss me off, so please, please, just, get his phone."

"You deserve to be pissed off by him," Lafayette harrumphed.

"And Herc deserves someone who talks issues out with him instead of hiding in strip clubs and being a total headass, but I guess no one is getting what they deserve tonight, are they?" John spat.

Lafayette paused. "I'll go get his phone and shit."

"Make sure he doesn't fucking choke on his own sick," John muttered, hanging up his phone. Almost immediately after John got a call from Alex, which made him assume Alex had been calling since he hung up, so John just answered. "What?"

"You can't leave me, John," Alex cried out.

Oh boy, Alex was really crying about this. John could hear sobs coming from the other end. It pissed John off and broke his heart at the same time. "Please, Alex, please, it's really late."

"Why didn't you let me talk to Phillip?" Alex whined.

"Because you're shitfaced, Alex, and I don't want you talking to my child like this," John snapped. "I don't give a damn who you are or how much Phillip wants to see you, I'm not letting my kid talk to someone who's drunk, especially not you, because he thinks so highly of you, and I don't want him to have to live with this memory of you."

"John-"

"Nope," John cut in. "I don't care about whatever excuse you're about to come up with. You're drunk, so you're not talking to my kid. Also, he has school in the morning. And I have work, so there’s another thing."

"Laf, what are you doing here?" Alex asked.

"And that'll be my cue to go," John nodded.

"No, John, wait!" Alex called out before John hung up. John sighed, silencing his phone and then getting up and walking back into the bedroom. Phillip was on his side, facing the wall, obviously awake. John plugged his phone back in and lied down.

"What does drunk mean?" Phillip asked.

John closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath. He wasn't getting any sleep tonight, was he?

-

Lafayette woke up in a shitty mood. He was a bit hungover, but he hadn't gotten drunk enough to forget the conversation he had with John, then the one with Alex. Alex had cried and cried, begging for his phone back, begging to be able to call John. Lafayette had never really realized this before, but Alex was an emotional drunk and quite obnoxious if Lafayette was being honest.

The first thing Lafayette did was check his phone. He had a few messages, Twitter and Snapchat notifications, Emails, and a missed phone call from Washington, with a text afterward, apologizing for calling Lafayette at four in the morning. Lafayette sat up, groaning a bit, then called Washington back.

"Hello, Lafayette!" Washington smiled. "I was just calling to check-in, see how everything is. I know Alex having a bit of a hard time, but I just want to make sure he's managing."

Lafayette thought back to the way Alex cried last night. "He's doing the best someone like him could do in a situation like this."

"Well, that's... not as reassuring as I hoped it update would be, but at least he's not dead," Washington commented. "You are making sure to keep him away from alcohol, correct? As proud as I am of Alex's sobriety, and as much faith as I have in him, I think it's hard for him to control himself sometimes when he's going through a lot of emotional anguish."

Lafayette nodded, remembering how much Alex had drunk the night before. "Uh-huh."

"And all of you are getting enough sleep, right?" Washington continued.

Lafayette nodded, thinking about how Alex has cried until fiche in the morning. "Yes, yes, of course, we are."

"Alright, good. Well, I'll let you go now," Washington sung. "Have a good day."

"You too, sir," Lafayette replied before hanging up. He jumped when the phone he had taken started beeping loudly with the Find My iPhone feature, and he knew Alex was up. Laf grabbed the phone and opened his door, walking to Alex's and knocking.

"Laf, have you seen my-" Alex stopped when Lafayette handed him his phone. "Oh. Why do you have it?"

"Check your call history, and you'll know why," Lafayette muttered, walking back to his room. Alex sighed and closed his door, walking back to his bed and flopping down on it. He plugged in his phone, then unlocked it, going to his call history.

"Fuck," Alex muttered. Twenty unanswered calls to John, two answered called to John, all-around three am. Texts upon texts to him. Alex felt his face heat up, groaning as he buried his pounding head in the pillow. He couldn't tell if he wanted to jump off a cliff or into the ocean with concrete boots, but either one sounded great to him. He knew he had to apologize, so he pulled up John's message log and began typing.

Alex: I'm sorry about last night.

It took a few minutes for John to respond, but he did.

John: I get it. Don't do it again. You woke up Phillip, and I didn't end up getting back to sleep. I'm glad you didn't choke on your own vomit though.

Alex: Are you?

John: I have no reason not to be.

Alex: Is that so, princess?

John didn't reply after that and Alex just groaned. He knew he fucked up, and drunk calling your ex isn't exactly the best thing to do, but he could've done worse. He could've sent a dick, could've sent an intense amount of memes, could've done worse, but at the same time, he could've done better. He knew he’d probably made a fool out of himself. Alex prayed he didn't say anything too stupid.

Alex made his way out of bed and into the bathroom. He turned on the shower, making the water cold before he stepped under it. He washed his hair, his body, then sat down on the shower floor, bending his legs and resting his forehead on his knees. Goosebumps raised on his skin from how cold the shower was, but he simply closed his eyes, humming an Edith Piaf soft as he sat there. He didn't want to get up, but eventually, he did, turning off the shower and stepping out.

Alex slipped on his dress shirt and dress pants, then tied his tie. After that, he put on deodorant, brushed his teeth, tucked in his shirt, and put a little gel in his hair. The bags under his eyes were prominent, but luckily, he usually looked like this, so no one was going to say anything about it.

He got down to the hotel breakfast bar, groaning a bit at the light and making his way over to the table where Angie and Lafayette were. He sat down, groaning at the coffee cup in front of him, but taking a sip regardless.

"Well, don't you just look chipper!" Angie said loudly. "You better brighten up, sunshine, we got work to do."

"I'm plenty brightened," Alex mumbled. "What's the deal?"

"Well, it's a court day, and you need to be there. I shot an email up to your boy toy last night, asking him to send down a testimony about what happened that night, but he hasn't gotten back to me yet. You didn't tell me he was that hot. Way out of your league, Hamilton," Angie chuckled.

"Blame it on my charm," Alex mumbled, offering a sarcastic smile to his coffee cup.

"Yeah I don't think you've ever gotten someone in your league," Angelica chuckled. "I don't know how you do it."

"I'm the Adam Sandler of real life," Alex chuckled.

"Isn't Adam Sandler the Adam Sandler of real life?" Lafayette asked.

Angelica nodded. “True.”

Alex rolled his eyes. "I can't make any jokes with you two. Lafayette, become more American so you can understand the jokes I make."

"Aren't you an immigrant too?" Lafayette mused.

"Yes, but I grew up in the bad parts of America, so while you were living like a prince, I was watching shitty 90s movies on Tommy Pellegrino's VCR and trying to understand the English language," Alex laughed, sipping his coffee again. "Ugh, fuckin' hangovers."

"Washington doesn't want you drinking," Laf informed Alex.

"What’s new?" Alex muttered, sipping his coffee again. He felt like vomiting, but hadn't yet, and knew if he ate, he would, so he stuck to coffee. "How'd you find John's email?"

"Googled him, found his contact information for the dance studio he works at, shot him an email, spent the next four hours watching dance groups from their company. Really good, honestly." Angie sipped her orange juice. "Anyway, he'll get back to me, today we're making sure you don't get arrested for assisting in an embezzlement scheme."

"Jolly," Alex mumbled. "God, I feel sick."

"You should eat something, coffee on an empty stomach has gotta be making that hangover a lot worse than it is," Lafayette pointed out, eating some eggs.

"If I eat right now, I'm gonna throw up," Alex mumbled. "Can we get this show on the road?"

"Gladly," Angelica smiled, standing up. "Bottoms up, boys."

"You heard the woman, stand up, Alex," Lafayette joked, nudging Alex.

"Eat shit, Gilbert," Alex laughed, standing up and walking into the lobby. They made it out to the car and bike, and Angie threw her briefcase in the Lamborghini before getting on her helmet and beginning to drive. Alex got into the driver's seat of his car, waiting for Lafayette to get in before taking off. His head hurt, but he had no painkillers other than the ones he had taken this morning for his leg, so his head pounded a bit, but he made it to the courthouse in time. For a second, he closed his eyes, letting his head fall back.

"Come on, man, we gotta go," Lafayette mumbled, hitting Alex's chest a bit.

Alex nodded and got out of his car, grabbing Angie's briefcase to hand it to her, since she was a few parking spaces over, smoking a cigarette and reading over a few things on her phone. Alex took the thing from her, taking a long hit before handing it to Laf.

"Wow, I try to smoke in peace, and it turns into puff pass with you two fuckers," Angie laughed, taking her cigarette from Laf and inhaling.

Alex shrugged, smiling. "How much time do we have?"

"Couple of minutes," Angie replied.

"Alright, I wanna get another coffee," Alex said. "I'll meet you guys inside?"

"Sure thing, Hamilton," Laf nodded.

Alex waved a bit, then walked inside. He really just wanted to get out of the South Carolina heat. He hated the south. He had always hated it. Virginia to Florida was a strip of hell. The heat was slow and muggy. It sucked out every bit of you like some demon mosquito. Alex didn't mind the heat in New York, because it was motivating. It was gritty, it was fast. It was a hot breeze pushing you along. You couldn't stop in that heat, because it was like a bed of nails. Alex had no idea how anything got done down here.

"One coffee, please," Alex asked the barista.

"Room for cream?" The barista, a cute guy with pretty blonde hair and hazel greenish eyes asked. His name tag said, Connor. He had dog tongue pink lips, a few freckles against his pale skin.

"No thank you," Alex smiled.

"How do you stomach plain black coffee?" Connor asked, tilting his head so his yellow blonde hair fell into his face a little bit.

Alex, suddenly becoming stupid from how cute this guy was, blushed a bit, looking down. "Oh, uh, it's just bean tea, I guess."

Connor laughed a bit, biting his lip. "Bean tea, alright, that's new."

Alex rubbed the back of his neck, then pulled out his wallet, handing Connor a five-dollar bill. "Thank you."

"No problem," Connor nodded, handing Alex change, which was quickly delivered to the tip jar. Alex went to the other end, waiting for a second before Connor handed him his coffee. There were no customers in line, so Connor leaned over the counter a bit, smiling at Alex. "So, you convicted or convicting?"

"Both," Alex laughed.

"Both? That's fun," Connor chuckled. "Is it too personal to tell me?"

Alex shook his head. "I got a fair amount of money stolen from me by one of your senators, which is linking me to embezzlement."

"Did you do it?" Connor asked.

Alex shook his head. "No. I hate dirty politicians with a passion, so I hope to see him in prison."

Connor nodded. "Yes, I think I've heard about this. Hold on, let me guess, you're... Alexander Harrington, correct?"

"Hamilton," Alex corrected, laughing. "But yes, that's me, all the way from the greatest city in the world."

"LA?" Connor guessed. "No, you don't have a Californian accent, yours is, yours is definitely different, but I'm gonna have to say, New York."

Alex nodded, smiling.

"How do you find a decent place to live there?" Connor asked.

"Oh, you don't. There's not a single decent place to live in Manhattan, and if there is, it's in New Jersey," Alex laughed.

Connor tilted his head a bit, not exactly getting it.

Alex felt his heartbreak a bit because he knew John would've cracked up at that one. "It's an east coast joke. If you had ever lived in New Jersey or even seen New Jersey, you'd be laughing."

Connor smiled. "Is it that bad?"

"It's like Manhattan, but so much worse," Alex chuckled. "It's like, it's like Florida for the east coast, but somehow worse."

"Shit talking my city, I see," Angelica laughed, appearing next to Alex. "Who's this?"

"Waiter," Connor stated, cocking an eyebrow.

"Alright, well, on that note, Lex, you better get your cute butt into the courthouse before you get arrested for your involvement in an embezzlement scheme." Angelica smacked his ass. "I'm not getting paid by the state of New York to do nothing."

Alex rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his coffee. "It was nice talking to you."

"You too, Hamilton," Connor smiled, going back to the counter and waiting for another customer. It was quite early, so not many people were around. Alex appreciated that. He sipped his coffee as they entered the courtroom. Lafayette was on one of the benches behind where Alex and Angelica sat since today Alex was on trial.

Court started not much later, and it began with a few lawyer things, a swearing-in, and a few other things, before Alex was called to the stand. Alex took one last sip of his coffee before standing up and walking to the stand, sighing as he sat down. He had good posture since he knew he needed to be as professional as possible.

"Mr. Hamilton, are you aware that over five million dollars were transferred from your account to Henry Laurens' account to cover up an embezzlement scheme?" The judge started.

"Yes, your honor," Alex nodded.

"Was this transfer consented upon, by you?" The judge continued.

"It was not," Alex replied. "I have never been one to assist dirty politicians in schemes such as this. If you wish to look at my political history, then you will see that I have actively spoken out against schemes such as this, and you will notice that I am pressing charges against Henry Laurens for the theft of my money."

"My record says that Mr. Laurens took a trip up to New York over this Christmas when the first transfer was made, would you care to explain that?" The judge continued.

"At the time, Henry Laurens' son, Johnathan Laurens, was living with me, and Henry Laurens came up for a visit. I leave my laptop in my office at night, and to my best knowledge, Henry found my password and logged on, without my knowledge. Frankly, it was against my wishes he be in my house at all, but if the court reader would care to confirm, his son, John Laurens, was living with me at the time." Alex swallowed hard.

"Why was John Laurens living with you?" The judge asked.

Alex's throat went dry, but he swallowed again, staring straight forward. "At the time, John Laurens and I were engaged in a platonic relationship, which has since been terminated."

"So, Mr. Hamilton, for the record, you had no knowledge about the transfers of money until after they happened, and you wanted no part of the embezzlement scheme in the first place?" The judge asked.

"Yes, your honor," Alex nodded.

"You may be seated," the judge nodded. "Ms. Schuyler, can your files confirm the information Mr. Hamilton has shared with the court?"

"Yes, your honor," Angelica stated, standing up. "If I may speak on behalf of my client."

"I'll allow it," the judge nodded.

"Mr. Hamilton has always been an incredibly honest politician, too honest, sometimes, if I may be frank. Had he been loud? Yes. Has he been brash? Absolutely." Angelica chuckled. "But a criminal? Never. This is a man who served his country for a decade. He fought by my side and was one of the most honorable soldiers one could meet. Even when it meant punishment, he was honest. He was honorable, and now, he stands in front of you, tells you he wanted nothing to do with this, and yet I still see doubt among the jury."

Alex raised a brow.

"This is a man who risked his life to protect the freedom of this country, a man who pulled the state of New York out of a financial crisis so bad that it seemed hopeless before him." Angelica looked to the judge. "His love for this country, New York, his career, and the people, it would stop him from anything that may get in the way. He is honest and honorable, and the fact that he is even assumed to be in relations with a dirty lying politician-"

"Objection, this is defamation!" Henry Laurens' lawyer exclaimed, standing up.

"Sit down," the judge commanded.

"You wish to accuse me of defamation when your client has created a situation where Alexander's name could be dragged through the mud. Defamation should be the least of your worries. My client, on all accounts, it innocent," Angelica finished. "Is there much more evidence you need to be provided, your honor?"

"I would like to have a short recess for the jury to decide," the judge stated. "Court will take place in twenty minutes, where we will have a verdict."

Alex stood up, his coffee in hand, and walked out of the courtroom with Angelica and Lafayette. Lafayette was laughing a bit, high fiving Angelica. "Nice going, Angie. You really took them by storm. Didn't know you were such a killer lawyer."

"Because you don't get into legal trouble," Alex stated, chuckling. "You went hard, though."

"I practice law the same way I have sex," Angie started. "I walk in there knowing I could top everyone there, and then I prove it."

Alex rolled his eyes but knew she was right. Angelica could top anyone she wanted, and god damn, had she proved it yesterday. She proved it so many times. Alex was still sore, and he knew he still had hickey's covering the places that couldn't be seen. It was hot though, and even though Angelica wasn't the man Alex so longed for, it could still work when Alex closed his eyes and pictured John above him.

"I need another coffee," Alex stated, finishing off his old one.

"And look, your new sugar baby is still working," Angelica smiled, pointing at Connor, who smiled and nodded to an older lady.

"I'm not into him, really," Alex told her. "And I highly doubt he's into me. I'm not in the mood for a relationship, I'm not in the mood for something too serious, or serious at all. I'll see him during his shifts, but that it. No dates, no nothing."

"Sure," Lafayette commented sarcastically.

Alex shrugged. He meant what he said. Flirting a little bit was one thing, but he just, he didn't want to be with anyone right now. Well, not unless they were tall, had the body of a dancer and the ass of a Kardashian, freckles, summer brown skin, and a kid with curly brown hair and vitiligo on his knees.

"Back again," Connor commented, smiling and cocking his head.

"What can I say? I'm a caffeine addict," Alex laughed.

"So, are you innocent yet?" Connor asked.

"Not yet, but my lawyer over there gave a pretty convincing speil so I think I'll be okay," Alex nodded.

"The one that smacked your ass and called you Lexi?" Connor asked, resting his chin on his hand.

"In her defense, I've known her since I was seventeen, and I was married to her sister at one point, so boundaries aren't really something we have," Alex smiled. "Just another black coffee, please."

"Sure thing, Mr. Hamilton," Connor smiled.

Alex turned to look at Angie, seeing her quickly begin to thrust her crotch, nodding while Lafayette gave him a thumbs up. Alex rolled his eyes, sweeping his hand at them, making them laugh from their distance.

"Cute friends," Connor commented.

Alex's face heated up. "They're idiots. Well, actually, they're incredibly smart, which is what makes them even more annoying because they can basically do whatever they want, but the moment someone questions their intelligence, they spew out the most intelligent bullshit you've ever heard."

"And what about you?" Connor asked.

"Major in political sciences and religious studies, I speak three languages, and I play guitar," Alex shrugged.

"Three? Is English your first?" Connor continued.

"My third," Alex smiled. "Grew up with Spanish and French, started English at thirteen when I moved to America, didn't fully master it until seventeen, but in my defense, it's a fuck shit language."

"You speak it well," Connor nodded. "I would've never guessed it was your third language. You speak it so casually."

"I learned from other kids in the projects," Alex shrugged. "I'm much smarter in Spanish."

"I’d love to hear that, but I've got customers," Conner pouted. "Hope you win."

"Me too," Alex nodded, smiling and walking back to Angelica and Lafayette.

"So, are you guys gonna fuck?" Lafayette asked.

"Are you kidding me? No," Alex chuckled. "Kid looks twenty, and I'm not down for that."

"John wasn't much older than that," Laf pointed out.

Alex rolled his eyes, sipping his coffee. "First of all, he was older than that, and I was younger than this, when we met. John was a nine-year age difference, and was like, a full ass adult when I met him. This kid is barely grown, and sixteen years is way too much for me when the other person is younger."

"We're thirteen years apart," Angie pointed out.

"I'm also a grown-ass adult and so are you," Alex pointed out. "Besides, I like my women like I like my French cheeses. Older than me."

Angie rolled her eyes. "You are absolutely unbearable, I don't know why I subject myself to sex with you."

Alex shrugged, sipping his coffee. "I don't either, Angie."

The court recess ended, and they all went back inside. Alex sat back down, tapping his foot nervously as the judge looked through his papers. Angelica seemed confident, but she was always confident.

"I have reached a verdict," the judge stated. "Alexander Hamilton, I have concluded that you are innocent of any correlation with this embezzlement scheme."

"Yeah!" Angie cheered, standing up. "Alright, thank you, your honor. We'll see you tomorrow as we intend to take Henry Laurens to court for the theft of Alexander Hamilton's money."

"Yes, you will," the judge nodded.

Alex, Lafayette, and Angie left, smiling widely. Laf had his arm around Alex, and they were both smiling widely. Angie was dancing a bit since she always got happy after winning a case. It was a good day, which is something Alex hadn't had in a while.

"You two, would you like to get some food? There's a great Lebanese place," Angelica stated. "Makes killer shawarma."

"Lebanese? I thought you swung both ways?" Lafayette joked.

"Men," Angie groaned. "Alex, you in?"

Alex shook his head. "Nah, I'm feeling really tired, so I think I'm just gonna head back to the hotel, relax, you know, that kind of stuff. I didn't sleep well last night, and my stomach still hurts a bit."

"Alright, well, we'll bring you back some," Angie promised. "Laf, you're riding on my cycle with me, I hope you're excited."

"I am," Laf nodded, laughing. "Hey, we'll see you afterward, alright?"

Alex nodded, smiling. "Yeah, sounds good."

They parted ways as they got to the vehicles. Alex drove to a liquor store, parking and getting out. He grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels for later, then a pack of Marlboro Reds. He paid, smiling a bit at the shopkeep before heading back to his car.

He didn't know why, but he found himself driving past John's high school, smiling a bit and trying to imagine the younger man walking out in his uniform, emo boyfriend next to him. He could imagine John laughing at something, long hair in his face. Alex almost wanted to take pictures, send it to John with a teasing text, but he didn't. He just let himself pass the school and continue his trek back to the hotel.

It was hard to not imagine what John's life here was life. Alex could only guess how many times John's faded All-Star sneakers hit the pavement he was driving by. He could practically picture John and his friends driving down the street at night, a little too high, but too happy to care. Alex so desperately wanted John to be next to him to narrate the car ride, tell him all the stupid things he did on each street.

"Dammit," Alex muttered.

He hated when he realized just how much he missed John. It was hard not to miss the man though. He was intoxicating. John was absolutely perfect. Alex wanted to hate John for what he did, and he wished he could, but whenever he tried, all he could think about was the way John would hold him at night. The way they would have family movie nights and eat too much popcorn. The way Basil would lie across all their laps. Oh, Basil. Alex missed his dog. He wanted to cuddle with that stupid big puppy again, wanted to scratch his head and give him kisses. He wanted to tell Basil he loved him.

"Good boy," Alex muttered under his breath, hoping Basil somehow got the message.

Alex tried to imagine his reaction if John had just told him. If John had just been honest and came up to him the day after it happened and been honest. Alex knew he would've been mad, he had no doubt about that, but that would've changed so much because at least he would know that John care enough to tell him. Alex wished John had told him, and Alex wished he had gotten the chance to fix this before everything else happened. Things could've been so different.

Alex sighed as he pulled up to the hotel, getting out and making his way into his room. He put the bottle on the dresser, then flopped down on his bed, groaning a bit. He wasn't lying about the fact that his stomach hurt, but it wasn't from the hangover. It was from the fact that he’d flirted with a guy who’d flirted back. Alex felt guilty, so guilty. He wanted to go to John and hug him, tell him he's sorry, tell him it's okay. Alex wanted to tell John he loved him, but the man was so far away.

Alex pulled out his phone, instantly going to John's contact. He almost pressed call, but then sighed, turning on his phone and looking around his room. There was nothing interesting, so he turned on the TV, finding the news and using it as background noise as he some work done on his laptop. His laptop screensaver was still him, John, Phillip, and Basil on their special Hanukkah celebration, all on the couch, smiling. Alex went to apple settings and almost had the heart to change it, but couldn't. That was his family. He loved them with all his heart, and whether or not he liked it, it was just something he was going to have to deal with.

"Please let this workout," Alex murmured. 

  
  



	28. Much To Do About Nothing

It was a tiresome Friday afternoon, a few days before Alex would be coming back, that Hercules showed up at John's door in tears. John took the man in his arms, hugging him gently. Herc cried small hiccups, leaning against John as the younger man pulled him into the apartment. School didn't end for another hour, so they had some time to talk.

"Hey, Herc," John said softly as they sat down. "What happened?"

Herc sniffled, wiping his cheek. "I got into a fight with Lafayette."

John creased his brows. Herc and Laf never fought. "What about, honey?"

"I confronted him about what he’d been doing, and I just straight up asked him if he had cheated on me, and he got super offended, like I was insulting him because I had the audacity to believe that, even though he's been out at strip clubs every night for the past two weeks." Herc sniffled a bit. "And just, I mean, what am I supposed to think? He posts all this stuff on his Snapchat story, he only talks to me really every few days. Politicians do weird shit while they're on vacation, and I'm not going to be one of those stupid housewives who sits at home while their husband goes and fucks other people. I'm not going to marry a man who's going to do that to me."

"Well, what did he say?" John asked.

"He said he wasn't, but I just, I don't know," Herc shrugged. "What am I supposed to believe, John? It's not like he gave me any reasons, he just flat out said no, and he was mad at me for asking, even though I was just trying to have a conversation with him. He's just, he's pissing me the hell off right now, and he never does that."

John nodded. "You wanna know what I think?"

"What?" Herc asked, wiping his cheeks some more, seeing as he was still crying.

"When he gets back, you two need to have a serious conversation about this. It's easy to lie to a screen, but the moment you two are face to face, you'll know the truth, whether it’s good or bad. Up until now, Lafayette has seemed really loyal, and maybe the whole strip club thing is just to cheer Alex up. Maybe he wants to show off and brag about his cash and look cool, but he needs to know how you feel. Who are you, Hercules Mulligan?" John started, continuing a tradition they did whenever Herc dated around.

Herc rolled his eyes, sighing. "John."

"Who are you?" John pushed.

Herc sighed loudly. "I'm a king."

"And how do you deserve to be treated?" John continued.

"Like a king," Herc answered, smiling a bit. "I'm getting too old for this."

"Psh, no one is too old to cry on their best friends couch and remind themselves that they have worth," John chuckled. "Hey, come on, tonight, we're gonna go out. I'm bringing Martha and Sally, James and Thomas have already agreed to babysit. We don't need silly boys to have fun, Herc. We're gonna go out, get way too drunk, come home way too late, and regret it all the next morning. Just like in college."

Herc rolled his eyes, smiling as he leaned against John a little bit. "Anymore calls from the ex? Or has he stopped drinking?"

"I got a thirty-minute voicemail from his last night, where he not only went into graphic detail about the sex he wanted to have with me, but also planned out our wedding, and our joint funeral, which was weird. And surprisingly romantic. Just never tell him I said that." John chuckled a bit, shaking his head. "He sounds like a fucking mess right now."

"A drunk body is a sober mouth," Herc reminded. "He clearly still likes you."

"Don't know why," John shrugged. "Look, if Alex never talked to me again, I would get it. If Alex went a couple of months without talking to me, I would get it. This is just sad, and a little weird if I'm being honest. I mean, the dude drunk calls me and drunk texts me, then the next morning says sorry with some smart-ass reply. I understand now why Alex stopped drinking because when he's drunk, he's either horny, or he's crying. I mean, I already don't want to talk right now-"

"Wait, why not? I thought you liked him?" Herc asked.

"I do, but I mean, come on, it's been barely three weeks since he found out, and he's just, he's saying a lot of shit that's just making it all hurt worse." John ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know, I don't think I'm allowed to be upset about this."

"Fuck that," Herc laughed. "Talk to me."

"I just, I like him, Herc, I really like him, and it hurts to listen to his drunk self tell stories about fucking his lawyer," John groaned, leaning back. "I just, I fucked up, and I know I fucked up, and I want to kinda step back and look at that for a while, without Alex."

"Ooh, self-reflection. This is new," Herc chuckled.

"I know, right?" John replied, raising his eyebrows a bit. "But, I mean, what else can I do? I don't exactly have five million dollars lying around, and I'm not a lawyer, so I'll just, I'll figure myself out, and if Alex ever wants to talk again, then maybe I can try to explain it. If he doesn't, then at least I'll know more about myself."

"Sexy," Herc laughed. "Okay, so, is James picking up the kids, or..."

"Yeah, and he's got Basil tonight," John nodded. "We have a bit of time to kill, so how about I get into a good clubbing outfit, not my sweatpants, and then we'll go to your place, get you into some sexy clothes, and then we're gonna take an Uber to Martha's apartment and meet Sally there."

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing already?" Herc asked.

"Hun, I love you, and I think you're adorable, but right now, you look like an art teacher," John stated, patting Herc's cheek and standing up.

"I am an art teacher," Herc pointed out.

"Not tonight you aren't," John smiled, going into his room. "What should I wear?"

"Something low cut, with tight pants," Herc answered. "God, I’m smart."

"You just love looking at all this," John joked. "Button up or tee shirt?"

"I'm gonna say button up because you really pull off a button-up shirt. And you can really pull off a button-down shirt," Herc called out as John pulled on his skinny jeans.

"Damn. Fuck!" John cursed as he jumped a few times to get the jeans over his ass. "I hate my ass. It's the only part of my lower half that's obnoxiously large."

"The only part? Love that confidence" Herc chuckled.

"Whatever," John laughed, slipping on a button-up and coming out of his room to Herc. "How many buttons can I leave unbuttoned without looking like a total douche? You're the designer, help me out."

"Firstly, this green and white pinstripe thing is really working for you, is it new?" Herc asked, coming over and beginning to mess with the buttons on John's shirt.

"Yes, a little retail therapy shopping did this," John chuckled.

"Well, I definitely think you should include button-ups into your fashion taste more because you've got collar bones to die for and they're always covered when you wear tee shirts. Short sleeve button-ups look really good, and the best part is, they go really good with skinny jeans, which you fucking rock. Also, you have great arms, and they need to be shown off more. Stop wearing ratty hoodies, they do nothing for your figure." Herc tucked the front of John's shirt in the front of his jeans. "A little French tuck, and boom, you're perfect."

John flashed a cheesy smile, striking a pose. "Sexy?"

"Hold on, hold on, I'm making Laf just as jealous as he made me," Herc laughed, pulling out his phone. He held it up to John, smiling. "I see you, baby, I see you. Fuck it up, John."

John did a few poses, laughing.

"Whatchu gon' get tonight?" Herc asked.

"Pussy!" John laughed, feeling like a college kid again as he threw up a lazy peace sign. He stuck out his tongue, knowing he was being really stupid but not caring all that much. "Boy, we gon' get fuckin' wasted."

"Fuck yeah we are," Herc nodded before lowering his phone. He posted it on Snapchat, then looked up, smiling. "Alright, let's head over to my place. Should we just call an Uber?"

"Yeah, I got it," John nodded, pulling out his phone. "Okay, so, mister Tan France, what are you wearing to the club?"

"A chastity belt," Herc commented sarcastically as they left the apartment, walking down to the front door. "For real John? I'm not gonna sleep with anyone tonight, I just, I wanna see how much he likes it, if I'm being so sensitive, then let's see how much he fuckin' likes it."

"Ooh, I got chills," John chuckled. "Okay, we're looking for a red Acura."

"Yes, I know what that looks like," Herc commented sarcastically.

"I see like, four red Acuras in our view with now." John sighed. "Fucking New York."

"I'm sorry, since when can you tell the difference between cars? I mean, I can do colors, but who the fuck actually knows what kind of cars are going by?" Herc asked.

"Impala, Spyker, Jeep, Datsun, Chrysler," John listed, pointing at each car. "It's a game I used to play with Martha, and I got good at it so I could kick her ass."

Herc laughed, bumping John. "That's such a sibling thing, and, oh, is this the car?" Herc pointed to one pulling up a few feet away from them.

"Yeah, it is," John nodded. He and Herc walked over to the car, getting in. John leaned up to the driver, asking him if they could make a quick stop before they went to the actual address. When the man agreed, John gave him a nearby address and sat back.

"What was that?" Herc asked.

"Just gotta do something," John shrugged, smiling a bit. "Okay, so, what are you actually gonna wear to the club tonight? If you say-"

"Maybe just some Birkenstocks and-"

John cut Herc off by groaning. "I will throw bonbons at you."

"The fuck is a bonbon?" Herc asked, laughing.

"You know, like, the bubble gum ones that look like a forbidden snack," John explained. "Anyway, no fucking Birkenstocks. You're wearing damn sneakers like everyone else, and something that shows off your arms, baby boy."

Herc laughed, leaning back. "Yeah, alright John."

They drove a little longer and then the driver arrived at a house. John smiled at Herc before getting out and jogging to the steps. He knocked on the door a couple of times and the very man he wanted to see opened it.

"John," Washington greeted, obviously a bit surprised.

"Alex is drinking again," John blurted out. "He's been drunk calling me every night. Last night he left a thirty-minute voicemail planning our wedding and funeral. Laf is taking him to strip clubs every night, and they're getting hammered. I'm telling you this because I know you were one of the only reasons Alex stopped drinking, and you deserve to know."

Washington's brows creased. "Are you sure he was drunk?"

"I know what drunk sounds like, that dude was hammered," John stated.

Washington nodded slowly. "He wouldn't call you if he was sober."

"He would not," John agreed. "Anyway, Laf has been pissing Herc off, so we're about to go get drunk at a strip club together, so I should get going. It was nice seeing you. Bye."

"Goodbye, John," Washington nodded.

John turned and left, getting back in the car and buckling his seatbelt and smiling at Herc a bit. "I just, I had to tell him some stuff."

Herc nodded slowly and they made it to his apartment. Herc changed into something nicer, and then they went to Martha's apartment. It was exactly what John expected someone like Martha to live in. It was a large open studio with big windows and four different areas to sleep. One was a futon, the other a straw mat, a third a hammock, and then a mattress on the floor. John figured Martha had the mattress. Someone on the futon was jerking off, but waved and smiled at Herc and John.

"It's a bit of a mess right now because fucking Thompson doesn't wanna use his hands for something besides masturbation," Martha scoffed. "What's the theme? I don't know anyone's relationship status at the moment, so I don't know if I should go full out sexy or-"

"Full out sexy," Herc answered. "We're attempting to make two people jealous tonight."

"Two?" John asked.

"What? I told you Laf was pissing me off," Herc shrugged. "We're making John's ex and my fiance jealous tonight."

"Men are so petty," Martha scoffed as she stripped off her sweatpants and tee shirt.

Herc jumped and closed his eyes at the realization that she was now naked, but John found himself relishing a bit at just how gorgeous she was. He hadn't realized how much he loved that sweet dark brown skin with those patches of vitiligo until she left.

"You know, John, if you hadn't seen me give birth, I think I would be telling you to close your eyes," Martha jokes. "But once you've seen me in a state like that, you can see my tits."

John laughed, looking down a bit.

"I'm thinking, gold," Martha nodded. "I look good in gold. Brings out my eyes."

"Put on some panties," John laughed.

"Don't tell me what to do," Martha gasped. "I'm not ending my night without getting dick, so I'm wearing my nice panties."

"I hate the word panties," Herc shivered. "It just makes me feel weird."

"Me too," Martha grinned. She slipped on her underwear, then her dress, smiling. "Okay, I'm ready. Who are we waiting on?"

"Uh, Sally said she'd be here soon but she's lesbian so she's going to be late," John mentioned.

"Okay, cool," Martha said. "How do I look?"

"Hot," Herc nodded.

"Alright, I'm gonna go put on some high light, and some eyeliner, maybe a layer of lipstick, then I'll be ready. Just let Sally in when she comes." Martha smiled. "Oh, for heels, should I go with black or white?"

"Black," Herc replied.

"The best color," Martha laughed, walking into the bathroom. A few minutes later, Sally knocked on the door. John let her in and hugged her tightly smiling. She wore a pair of black skinny jeans and a crop top that had the word 'defenestration' on it in all caps. Her hair put back into two thick braids, and she looked great.

"Hey, guys!" She smiled, leaning in and kissing Herc's cheek. "Where's our girl?"

"Finishing up her makeup," John answered. "That shirt is so cool, where'd you get it?"

"Thrifting in Soho with Peggy," Sally answered. "She found the cutest scarf there, and then I found a shirt that matches it, so now whenever we go out, we make sure people know we're together."

"How's law school?" Herc asked.

"Exhausting, but amazing. I'm almost done with this year, and then I got another, and then I'm almost ready to start practicing law."

"Well, if we ever need a lawyer, we know who to call," John smiled.

"Alright, ladies, I'm ready, so that means it's time to go!" Martha smiled, stepping out.

"Damn girl!" Sally squealed. "You look so good!"

"You too, baby," Martha laughed, linking her arm. "I heard you settled down."

"Oh yeah, got a great girl back home," Sally smiled as the four of them walked out the door. "Super sweet, she's watching the kiddo right now."

"I don't know how you do it, I don't know how you can just be mother material," Martha chuckled. "Luckily, John was mommy enough to bail me out."

"Bitch, I am two parents condensed into one, I'm just that cool," John smiled. "Okay, so we're going to Vanity, which is a five-minute drive, or a ten-minute walk, so I think the lady with the heels should decide."

"I'm cool to walk," Martha smiled. "These are platform, so it's not too much of a bother for my foot anyway."

"You sure you won't get blisters?" Sally checked in. "Really, an Uber is fine."

"Okay, listen up, just because I am in my late twenties, it doesn't mean I'm all soft like you parents. I'm a Brooklyn girl, I’ve been walking miles in heels since I put on my first pair. Let's go. Where we all crashing after this?"

"Let's just go back to my place," John suggested. "No one is there, and it's less of a mess to clean up in case we're too drunk and we trash the place."

"God, fuckin' hate New York weather," Martha muttered. "It's either too cold or too hot."

John put his arm around her to keep her warm. "There we go."

Martha just smiled, leaning against him a bit as they made their way to the club. One thing John enjoyed about New York was the fact that everything you wanted to go to was at least ten minutes away, and you could just go.

The club was pounding, and women were dancing up on stages. It was dim, and John grabbed Martha's hand so as not to lose her. Herc pulled all of them to the dance floor, pulling out his phone and snapping a selfie of all of them before beginning to dance to the music. It was loud but nice. Dancing with Martha reminded John of his college days, made him feel good.

Herc pulled John over to one of the dancer's stages, and John laughed, leaning against Herc as they watched the girl dance. John slipped a few dollars bills in her thong, then filmed Herc doing the same. It was very, very petty, but it was damn fun. John began dancing with his friend, smiling as both the parents danced to the beat. The engagement ring Herc was wearing glimmered in the light, acting as a warning to anyone who would dare overstep their boundary. Herc was loyal, regardless of the situation, and he wore the ring to prove it.

"Drink time!" Martha called out, pulling them towards the bar. "I'm gonna let my tits hang out so the bartender gets to us first. Sally is already there." Martha adjusted her boobs in her dress so there were just about to fall out. "What do you guys want?"

"A pint glass full of vodka," John joked. "No, for real though, a double shot of bourbon."

"And I'm gonna get us all shots because I feel like it would be a cool thing for Herc's Snapchat," Martha smiled. "If you insist on making him jealous, we're going to do it right."

"Never change!" Herc cheered as they walked over to the bar. It didn't take long for drinks since Martha and Sally used their flirting skills, and soon enough, they were all standing at the bar together, small shot glasses in their hands. John was smiling as Herc pulled out his phone, holding up his shot a bit to the camera.

"Three, two, one!" Sally cheered.

Everyone downed their shot, and then John downed his glass of bourbon, smiling a bit. Herc and Sally went to the dance floor, but John stayed with Martha, who was working on a martini she ordered. He sat down, ordering a Sam Adams and smiling at her while taking a sip.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?" John asked, smiling.

"Fella done treat me wrong," Martha replied, sipping her drink.

"Why don't you leave him?" John asked.

Martha shook her head, smiling. "He's a sweetie and my best friend. I'm sure he didn't mean to knock me up, and he's got a goofy face that ain't no one else got."

"My face is not goofy," John gasped.

"Mm-hm," Martha chuckled, sipping her drink. "Let's just be thankful Phillip got some good genes so he doesn't look just like you."

John rolled his eyes, sipping his beer.

"You look tired, John," Martha commented lightly, pushing John's hair out of his face a bit. "Always so tired."

John shrugged a bit, sipping his beer. "Just been busy lately."

Martha sighed, shaking her head. "You're too busy."

The kiss was sudden, but John quickly returned it. It was fast-paced, which was the way Martha kissed. She had never liked moving slow, and John didn't mind that. He stood up off his barstool, placing his hand behind her neck and pulling her face closer while his other hand trailed up her thigh.

Martha pulled away, thinking for a second. "No romo."

John laughed, pecking her lips again. "That's cool."

Martha smiled, then looked down at her drink. "Come on, we came here to get hammered, let’s get hammered."

Too many drinks later, John and Martha were near a podium where a stripper was dancing, making out. John's hands were going places they could only go in a strip club, and Martha was matching his actions with much vigor. The two knew this meant nothing. They knew the next morning they would still just be friends, but that was the best part to both of them. It was nice to just feel loved sometimes, and both Martha and John loved each other, so the sex was nice, but also didn't create anything more than what they had.

Martha stumbled a bit with John as she pulled him into the men's bathroom, which was surprisingly empty, and then to the stall. She locked the door and pushed John against the wall, kissing him. John grabbed his ass, and at the moment, the only thing he could think about was her. The way she felt, how she moved against him.

"Fuck," John groaned as Martha squeezed his bulge. "Fuck, baby girl, yeah."

"You like that, Laurens?" Martha asked.

John nodded, pulling her dress up and placing two fingers between her thighs, rubbing her clit over her underwear. Martha continued kissing John as he pushed her underwear to the side to be able to actually feel her. She was wet, but not wet enough to get to the good part yet, so John continued teasing her, giving her a little more time to warm up until he felt her become nice and wet.

John prided himself on how well he could pleasure the female body. A high school girlfriend, who had gotten sick of bad sex, sat John down and basically taught him how to give proper head, where the clit was, and everything he needed to know about proper sex with a girl. John was thankful for that, but still couldn't always rely on himself to finger a girl properly, since that shit was like a slip and slide, and he couldn't always tell what was what. He was better at head.

"God, John, please, just fuck me," Martha gasped.

John responded by pushing her against the wall, his chest pressed her back. He pulled her dress up above her hips and her underwear down a bit so it would be easier. He used the wetness between her thighs to lube himself up before gently pushing in. Martha gasped a bit, placing her hand over John's, which had found its place on her hip.

"You okay?" John asked, stopping for a second.

"Yeah, yeah, just been a while," Martha mumbled.

"Do you need something extra before we do this?" John asked. "I can pull out, or if you want to stop or-"

"Jesus, stop talking," Martha laughed. "John, it's all good, and if it wasn't, I would tell you, you know I wouldn't do you dirty like that. But I swear to God, if by the end of the night, my cervix isn't fucking bruised, I'm going to hold you accountable."

"God," John muttered, pushing in a bit farther. "This reminds me of college."

"Hooking up in a club bathroom?" Martha laughed. "Me too."

"Alright, I'm gonna start moving now, you good?" John asked.

"Yes," Martha smiled. "I'm good."

John pulled out a bit, then pushed back in, grunting a bit. He began to pick up a pace, grunting as he did so, reaching one hand around to continue fingering Martha, and using the other to gently knead her boob. His lips went to her neck, and he could still taste the Jack Daniels in his mouth. It was good, quality drunk sex.

"Fuck, ah, shit! Laurens, God, harder," Martha moaned, moving his hips back a bit. "Oh, God, yes! Fuckin' shit!"

John nipped at her neck as he thrust. "Shit, Martha, God, you're so good."

Martha ground her hips against John as he thrust into her. He sucked a dark hickey into a patch of vitiligo, knowing it's going to be a satisfying mark of purple in the morning. Martha placed her hand over John's, guiding his hand a bit so he was rubbing the right spots. John complied and continued his movement, causing Martha's thighs to quiver.

"Ah! Shit!" Martha gasped.

They continued like this. It was good. John went from having a lot of sex to having absolutely no sex, and it was nice to break his abstinence streak. He wasn't thinking about anything, just how good it felt to be exactly where he was. He kept thrusting, and he was trying to hold out, but he was getting closer. He prayed Martha was too but knew he'd be fine with just giving head if she wasn't. He got closer and continued to rub Martha, hoping to offer her some good feelings.

"Fuck, I'm close," John mumbled.

"Mm, come on, Laurens," Martha taunted, breathless.

"Fuck, shit, shit," John gasped. His orgasm hit him like a freight train and he stalled in her, gasping for air as he came. He felt his come drip out around his dick, and he slowly pulled out, kissing the back of Martha's neck. "There we go. Turn around."

Martha turned around and smiled almost at the sight of John on his knees, using a bit of toilet paper to wipe jizz and anything else off his dick before pulling up his pants again, remembering the French tuck that Hercules insisted on.

"You gonna give me head?" She asked.

"I wouldn't be a gentleman if I didn't let the lady finish," John chuckled, gently kissing the inside of her thigh. "So fucking pretty."

The patch of vitiligo on Martha's cheek turned a light shade of pink and John smiled, kissing higher up until he reached where he needed to be. He had given Martha head probably more times than he had given Alex head, and he knew exactly how to do it. Two fingers inside her, and tongue right on the clit. It was quick work, and soon enough, she was shaking, holding his head there as she finished.

"How was that?" John asked softly.

"You're still really fucking good at head," Martha nodded. "You need to work on your fingering, though."

"Well, I’m sorry, I've been fucking a man for the past year," John chuckled, standing up.

Martha pulled up her underwear and adjusted her dress again. "That is true, so I guess I'll cut you some slack. Come on, I wanna shake my ass."

"This night just keeps getting better," John chuckled, walking out of the bathroom with Martha. She pulls him to the dance floor and began dancing with him. The two of them kissed, grinding on each other as they danced. It was definitely not a PG action, and they were both feeling hot and horny after their drunk fuck session in the bathroom.

"Aye!" Herc yelled, finding them. "Look at you two!"

"Whatever, dude," John chuckled, breaking away from Martha to hug Herc, planting a large kiss on the older man's cheek. "How you doing?"

"Great!" Herc replied. "Smile for the camera!"

He held up his phone and John offered a peace sign, laughing as Martha kissed his neck. It was a slightly blurry photo, but cute. Sally came over and they took another, this time capturing John and Martha sharing a kiss. Then, the four of them danced. It was fun. The music was playing, people were dancing. It was like a college party, and no one really cared who was who, everyone was just happy.

For a moment, John thought back to Alex. He thought back to a night where the two of them had ended up slow dancing in central park to a violinist. It was slow and sweet. John remembered the way he smiled and he rested his cheek against Alex's head. He remembered how gentle the small and sneaky kisses were, and he remembered how Alex had hummed along to the tune, which he later informed John was the tune to some type of symphony.

John became sullen for a moment. It was fast, and he quickly recovered, but that moment was spent thinking about Alex. Those sparkling brown eyes, the way his short hair fell into his face and he had to push it back. The way he would sit up in the morning and stare at the blankets for a second, claiming he needed some 'boot up' time.

John had all this information about the man, and nothing to do with it. I mean, what was he going to do with the knowledge of Alex's favorite pair of boxers, the red ones, with the McDonalds logo on them? His least favorite brand of coffee, Folgers? His favorite chain restaurant, Dunkin' Donuts? There was some game show where he could win a million dollars with this information, and there was a high chance he and Alex would never get back together, so what is he gonna do with it?

It was at that moment that John realized just how much he missed the man. He missed how good Alex was with Phillip. He missed how good mornings were with the three of them all dozing in bed together. He missed the way Alex would come downstairs and kiss the back of John's neck on Sunday mornings. He missed that. He missed Alex.

John shook the thoughts from his head and went back to focusing on where he was. He wasn't about to ruin a good time with his emotions, so he took a deep breath and went back to kissing Martha.

The four of them continued dancing, laughing, for hours. It was good fun, and John found any thoughts of Alex being shoved to the back of his mind. Eventually, the four of them left the club, clambering into an Uber to go back to John's place. John and Martha sat in the back back, making out like nobody's business, while Herc and Sally made drunk jokes and talked to the driver. They got to John's apartment and John provided blankets and pillows for Herc and Sally, who were just gonna crash on the couch, then he pulled Martha into his room, kissing her.

Martha began unbuttoning John's shirt while John reached around and unzipped her dress. Shoes and socks were kicked off, clothes were discarded, and John's head was placed between Martha's legs. Martha's hands raked through John's hair as he ate her out. She began messing with it a little bit, and he didn't know what she was doing until he heard the snap of a hair tie and felt his hair being pulled back into a messy bun. A few strands still hung in front of his eyes, but he could look up and see Martha, writhing and arching her back.

"You taste so good," John mumbled, reaching his hand up and gently squeezing Martha's breast.

Martha replied with a breathy laugh, closing her thighs a bit around John's head. Martha had the best thighs in the world, John thought. Regardless of the context, they were just great. Soft, squishy, warm. Strong from the pilates class she took, soft from her love of banana bread and New York pizza.

"You wanna do round two or is head just fine?" John asked, looking up from between her legs. His lips still lingered with the taste of her, but he didn't mind.

"Round two?" Martha smiled. "How're we doing this?"

John shrugged. He and Martha had made it a goal, when they were living together, to get through all sixty-four positions of the Kama Sutra, since neither of them had anything better to do. They finished that in about two months, and then started coming up with their own, since neither of them were really fond of missionary, and there wasn't much to do in that apartment besides have sex, eat pizza, and look at memes.

"Hand me a pillow," Martha mumbled, reaching around to try and grab at one. John gave one to her and she placed it under her hips. John got the hint and got up on his knees, sitting between her legs. One leg became hitched up one John's shoulder, while the other went around his waist. It was a lazy position compared to what they had done in the past, but they didn't care much. John rubbed his dick a bit more to make sure it was nice and hard, then slowly pushed in. Martha let out a slight moan as he did this, finding his hand and gripping it.

"Fuck, there we go, there we go," John mumbled lightly, bottoming out. "Fuck, Martha, you're so fucking good."

Martha let out a small moan as John began thrusting, gripping her hips. He felt his hair fall out of his bun a bit, but just tucked it behind his ear and he thrust into Martha, gasping for air a bit. Martha let out breathy laughs, gripping the headboard behind her. It was fast, sloppy, and drunk. John had to stop for a second to catch his breath, looking down at Martha.

"Why do you keep that rat stache?" Martha asked. "It reminds me of high school boys."

"I like it," John pouted, running his hand over the bit of hair on his upper lip and chin. "It's bad enough I couldn't grow chest hair if I tried."

"Yeah, which side of your family did you get your hairless gene from?" Martha asked, running her hand over his stomach. "It's kinda nice though, I'm gonna be honest. I'd rather have no hair than too much hair on a man, and you got such a nice body. Like, muscles and shit."

"Such a romantic," John mumbled.

"I know, right," Martha snorted. "Come on, baby, giddy up."

John began rolling his hips against hers, running his thumb over her nipple. Her hand snaked between her legs and rubbed herself as he continued thrusting. It was hot and comfortable, and John knew he wasn't going to last longer, especially since this wasn't round one, and he was very drunk.

"Fuck, fuck, John, John!" Martha moaned, moving her hips a bit. "God, shit, fuck me. Fuck me harder!"

John began moving his hips faster, gasping as he felt his orgasm approach him. "I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come, shit."

"Yeah, fuck, Laurens, come on, baby," Martha groaned, rubbing her slit a bit faster.

"Fuck!" John gasped, stalling inside of her and coming. It was good, and John's thighs shook as he finished. His hair was falling out of his bun, sweat was dripping down his back and chest. He made a mental note to wash the sheets thoroughly since there was no way he was about to let Phillip sleep on this bed.

"You good?" Martha asked, looking up at John.

John nodded, pulling out, chuckling a bit as he felt himself get soft.

Martha smiled, sitting up a bit. "Your hair is a fucking mess, John. Before you help me finish off, let me fix it."

"God, just cut it off," John chuckled.

"Alright," Martha chuckled. "Come on, let's go to your bathroom and hack it off."

"Wait, really?" John asked.

Martha nodded, standing up, slipping on her underwear before looking back at John. "Yeah, come on. You need a haircut anyway."

John chuckled, slipping on boxers and letting Martha drag him to the bathroom. "Are you really gonna cut it?"

"Yeah, I cut hair through college," Martha nodded. "Do you have an electric razor? I feel like you do to tame your little beard hair thing."

John rolled his eyes and nodded, pulling it out of the cabinet.

"Okay, let's get you in the tub and get your hair wet," Martha smiled.

"You're so weird," John teased, sitting down in the tub and leaning over the faucet to get his hair wet. Martha washed it and towel-dried it a bit, then grabbed scissors and the electric razor. She fluffed up his hair, thinking.

"You have such beautiful curls, John, I don't want to cut them all off. What are you thinking? I could just cut a few inches off, bring it back up to your shoulders, that would be cute," Martha suggested.

"All of it," John stated. "But leave some at the top. Like a fuck boy."

"Like a fuck boy," Martha nodded. "Alright, say goodbye."

She tied John's hair up in a ponytail, then hacked the ponytail off, handing it to John before parting the hair on the top, tying that up and then shaved. It was about half an inch around, and John could feel the little hair falling around his back and shoulders. Martha snipped around the back part on the top, evening it out, and then had John turn around so she could cut the front.

She smiled at him, cutting his hair a bit more. "It actually looks really good. I didn't see you as a short hair guy, but now that like, it's on you, I really like it. I never realized how fucking sharp your cheekbones are. I mean, fuck."

John rolled his eyes. "I really look good?"

Martha nodded. "Come on, stand up. There's hair in your tub but you can just sweep it down the drain." She grabbed a hand towel and brushed John's hair off of his shoulders as he stood up. "I feel like this isn't the first time I've cut your hair."

"Yeah, you used to do it in our apartment," John nodded, smiling as he looked in the mirror. "I really like it, Martha." He shook his head a bit. "It's weird, my head feels so light now. I've been carrying around all that hair for years, and now it's like, gone."

"I think you look handsome," Martha smiled, resting her chin on John's shoulder and kissing his neck. "Handsome man."

"Well, do you want this handsome man to give you a bit of head?" John asked. "I really outta repay you for this great haircut."

"I think that would be perfect," Martha replied, pulling John back into his room.

John didn't waste time, helping Martha finish off. He always felt bad for finishing first, but he knew that most of the time, men finished before women, and he wasn't about to make Martha suffer, and he didn't exactly mind giving head to a girl.

When she finally finished, John sighed, gently lying next to her. She curled up in his arms, running her fingers through his hair. "You know I love you, John."

"I love you too," John replied simply. "You're one of my best friends, Martha, you know that." He gently kissed her forehead. "And you know what?"

"Hmm?" Martha hummed, curling a bit of the hair on the top of John's head a bit.

"From now until the time that I start dating again, I can give you head on my lunch break," John chuckled.

"Well, if your girlfriend or boyfriend is cool enough, you can keep giving me head even after you start dating again," Martha laughed, her fingers dancing across John's side a bit. She paused, thinking. "You really think you fucked it up that bad with Alex?"

John sighed, hugging her closer. "Yeah, I do."

"Talk to him," Martha mumbled. "John, I have never seen you so happy with someone. I mean, I remember when I came over for wine one night with you, Alex, and a couple more friends, Herc and his man, and I remember you were a little too drunk for an adult, and Alex said something about you needing to go to bed, and you just looked at him and told him he was too perfect for you. John, I don't know if you know this, but you are so fucking in love with him."

"Martha, I-"

Martha sat up. "No, you are in love with him. I don't give a shit what you say, you love Alex, and you've never loved someone like this, so you need to grow a pair, fucking apologize, and get him back. And you know what? Even if you don't get him back, even if he's fucking done with your shit, you're still going to apologize, and you're still going to tell him you love him, because for once, for once, you're going to be honest with your feelings."

"It's not that simple," John sighed, pushing himself up on his elbows. "I mean, Martha, I really fucked up."

"Well, have you talked to him at all since what happened?" Martha asked.

John tilted his head a bit. "Sort of. He's called me a couple of times while drunk."

"What does he say?" Martha asked.

John thought for a second. "He says shit like how he wants to marry me, how he loves me and shit. He's been sleeping with this other woman, and he talks about how he pretends she's me, and I mean, he's drunk as fuck while saying all this, but I really don't want to hear it."

"Why?" Martha asked.

"I dunno," John mumbled. "I just, he's someone I really care about, and we're both hurt right now, and I don't think what's happening is healthy, nor is it good. I mean, Alex is an alcoholic, so it's not good at all that he's drinking, and-"

"I thought you said you'd never be with an alcoholic," Martha pointed out.

"In my defense, he was six years sober when I met him, so I figured it was okay," John pointed out. "He started drinking when he lost a guy he really loved, and now he's drinking again."

"Because he lost a guy he really loved," Martha stated. "Did he drink after his divorce?"

"No, by the time that rolled around, he was already drinking, living over in Jersey," John explained.

"Oh, God, Jersey?" Martha groaned. "No wonder the dude was an alcoholic." She paused, thinking. "He misses you. He wouldn't call you if he didn't."

John sighed, thinking. "I miss him too."

"Do you love him?" Martha asked.

"Martha-"

"I'm not in a mood to listen to all your bullshit feeling excuses, I just want an answer." Martha pulled her hair back in a bun, sighing. "Do you?"

John sighed, sitting up a bit and resting his forehead against her shoulder. "Yeah, I do."

"Say it," Martha commanded. "Say you love him, just to me at least."

John sighed, kissing her shoulder. "I am completely and utterly in love with Alexander Hamilton, and I fucked up terribly."

Martha gently ran her hand through John's curls. "This is all going to get figured out, baby boy, you just gotta keep going, alright?"

"Alright," John smiled, nipping her neck. "I love you, Martha."

"I love you too, Johnny," Martha smiled, gently grabbing his chin and pecking his lips. "No matter what, you're always gonna have your day ones that you can trust. No matter what you do, you still got us." Martha kissed him again. "But the moment you become an asshole, I'm leaving you."

John rolled his eyes, lying back and pulling her on top of him. "You know, Martha, you are the most beautiful woman in the world to me, and I think you should know that."

"Oh? How so?" Martha chuckled, situating herself a bit so she was straddling John, her hand slipping to his chest.

John gently pecked her lips. "You just are, darling and nothing could ever change that."

Martha rolled her eyes, beginning to grind herself against John's crotch. "You are an absolutely hopeless romantic, and I think you are ridiculous. Round three?"

John sat up, making Martha laugh as he buried his face in her breasts, blowing a raspberry on the skin.

"John!" She laughed. "Stop! That tickles!"

"No romo," John muttered, kissing up to her neck.

"No romo," Martha confirmed, reaching her hand down to begin rubbing his crotch.

 

Hercules woke up the next morning to the sound of quiet talking and the feeling of a splitting headache. He groaned, looking up above the couch arm, widening his eyes a bit at what he saw. A shirtless John was cooking breakfast, red scratch marks popping out against the brown skin on his back. Martha was sitting on the counter, wearing one of his tee shirts, swinging her legs back and forth a bit as they quietly talked.

Hercules pulled out his phone, quietly opening up Snapchat, and snapping a picture just as Martha looked over.

"Herc, you ain't slick!" She called out.

Hercules stood up, not bothering to put on his pants, just walking around in his boxers and a tee shirt. "Yeah, I know. Looks like you two had a fun night."

Martha smiled lightly at John. "Yeah, I think we did. Did you have fun, Johnny?"

John smiled, leaning in and pecking her lips. "I did. Is Sally still sleeping?"

Herc shook his head. "You know the girl wakes up early hella. She shook me away and told me to tell y'all she took an Uber home. I was awake for a bit, considered it, and then decided I was too tired for that, so I'm still here."

"Cool, well, I'm making way too many eggs for just me to eat, so neither of you can leave until we've eaten all of this, alright?" John chuckled, pulling out plates.

"Hell yeah," Martha chuckled. "I'm starving."

"Ravenous from a night of crazy sex?" Herc teased as John handed him a plate.

"Yeah, you get pretty hungry when you have to do all the work," Martha laughed, putting some eggs on her plate, then sprinkling salt on the eggs.

"Shut up you weirdo, three out of four times I was doing the main movement," John scoffed. "Oh, and let's not even forget the second time where you just laid back and let me do everything."

"I am finding out way too much about y'all's sex life right now," Herc chuckled. "So, what? Are you two a thing or something?"

"When have Martha and I ever become a thing?" John snorted, sitting down. "We said 'no romo' so it was totally platonic. Duh."

"Yeah, John and I are too good of friends to date," Martha smiled, taking a bite of her food. "You know, I bet last night was really fun."

"I bet we did, but I don't remember," Hercules laughed. "I got so drunk."

"Ooh, did Laf slide up?" John asked.

"He did," Herc nodded. "But I ignored him because he did that to me."

"You guys are so immature, give me your phone," Martha huffed, snatching it up. She grabbed Herc's hand and pressed his thumb to home button and then went onto Herc's Snapchat. "I don't understand you, men."

"Hold on, read out what he said," Herc requested.

"He said 'I get it, you're upset.' Okay, let me fix your entire relationship," Martha mumbled, her fingers flying. "See, Herc, you should never come to another man for relationship advice, because they never know what the fuck they're talking about."

"I do too," John gasped.

"Okay, you want me to tell you what I wrote?" Martha asked.

Herc nodded.

"Here's what I said. 'I am upset, and I feel as though you’ve dismissed my emotions. You know I love you, but you've been really hurtful this past week, and I would really appreciate if we could put this all to rest.' How does that sound?" Martha looked up at them.

"Well, it's weird how crazy accurate you are with this text," Herc started.

"Scrolled up through your saved messages really quick," Martha admitted.

"And I like it, but no, I want him to apologize first," Herc stated. "He's not allowed to pull this sarcastic bullshit."

"Ugh," Martha groaned, tossing Herc's phone back. "Can you just grow up? All of you!"

John shrugged. "No."

Martha sighed. "Both of you, you're lucky I love you both more than anything. John, you're lucky you give good head, and Herc, you're lucky you got John out of the house for drinks so I could jerk off and watch Legally Blonde in peace. And yes, I mean at the same time."

"We love you too, Martha," Hercules smiled, gently patting her hand.

Martha adjusted herself in her seat. "My cooch is sore. What'd you do to me last night, John?" She chuckled a bit. "Dick game strong."

"Oh yeah, baby girl, I gave you that, that slow stroke, that smooth stroke, that, that deep stroke." John tilted his head back, laughing.

"You guys are gross," Herc laughed. "I'm gonna be honest here, I've never understood your friendship."

"Why not?" John asked.

"You two are just so casual about everything," Herc stated. "I mean, John fucking impaled your uterus last night and now you two are eating eggs and making jokes about it."

John grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. "Ain't nothing wrong with being casual."

"And I'm sorry, impaled my uterus?" Martha laughed. "I don't think that's quite how sex works."

"Well I haven't been with a woman in years, so excuse me for being such a dumb bitch," Herc replied, smiling.

 

"Wow," Alex mumbled, watching Herc's Story. It was after his court session, and Alex was filling his time with scrolling through his phone and taking sips of his bottle of Jack Daniels. He was as drunk as one could be, lying on his bed alone, trying to not feel his heartbreak at the sight of John laughing. Alex had to admit, he looked fucking hot. Those damn collar bones, popping out the slightest bit from his shirt, his body, his face, his hair.

Alex felt his heart break at the sight of a blurry picture of Martha and John kissing. Her hair was pulled back, and even in the poor lighting, you could see a pink thing on her patch of vitiligo. John was smiling, obviously.

"What the fuck..." Alex trailed off. He had passed through a few more pictures, then came to one with John again. It was obviously the next morning, because he was just in sweatpants, cooking breakfast, but that wasn't what Alex was shocked by. He was shocked by John's hair. It was short now, shaved around the sides, a couple of inches at the top with a few curls. It was shocking. He had never seen John with short hair. There was another video, full of Herc just freaking out about John's hair. It didn't look bad, per se, but shocking was definitely the word to use.

Alex turned off his phone and rolled onto his back, the bottle still in hand. He felt lonely. He had felt lonely the moment John walked out of his house. No amount of sex, or drugs, or cash could fill that. He wanted to call John, just be happy with him again.

Alex grabbed his phone against and went to his John folder in his camera. He would save his feverish masturbation to home sex tapes, which had seemed to be the only thing that had really gotten him off lately, for another time. Instead, he went straight to a cute video he had of John. They were in the house, John bent over the counter looking through a cookbook.

"Dat ass," Alex laughed, zooming in on John's ass.

"Dat ass," John mocked, laughing. "You need to find other hobbies besides staring at my ass because it's gonna start getting in the way of your work."

"Why don't you send me booty pics?" Alex complained.

"Because I don't know how to take a booty pic," John replied, smiling. "You're lucky I adore you, Alexander."

"I adore you too, John Laurens."

The video ended and Alex sighed, rolling onto his stomach. He missed John. He missed the man so much. He missed John enough to make his heartache and his chest feel as though someone was taking a sledgehammer to it. He prayed John missed him too, hoped that the kiss with Martha was platonic, begged the universe to let John wait for him.

"Puerto Rico," Alex sang in his drunken state. "My heart's devotion. Let it sink back in the ocean." He raised his bottle. "Aye! Always the hurricane blowing, always the population growing, and the money owing! Aye! And the sunlight streaming, and the natives steaming. I like the island Manhattan, smoke on your pipe, and put that in!" He took a sip of his bottle, smiling a bit at the ceiling. "I like to be in America, okay by me in America, everything free in America, for a small fee in America. Buying on credit is so nice. One look at us and they charge twice. I have my own-" Alex was cut off by a knock at his door. He got up, stumbling over and opening it.

"Hey man, want to go to..." Lafayette trailed off. "Are you drunk already?"

Alex looked at the bottle of whiskey, then back to Lafayette. "Yes. Probably very."

"I was gonna see if you wanted to go get dinner with Angie and I, but how about I just bring you back leftovers, alright?" Lafayette suggested, reverting to French since he figured it would be easier for Alex to understand in his state.

"What are you getting?" Alex replied, also in French.

"Asiatique."

"Bring me back dumplings," Alex mumbled, closing his eyes and leaning against the door. "I'm gonna take a shower. What time is court tomorrow?"

"Starts at eight," Lafayette responded.

"Great, great," Alex mumbled to himself. "Alright, I'll see you when you guys come back. Thanks, Laf."

Laf paused, thinking. "I don't really think I should leave you alone."

"Whatever," Alex mumbled. "I'm fine."

Lafayette sighed, then looked down the hallway a bit. "Hey, can you bring us back dumplings and low mein?"

"Yeah, sure, see you in a few!" Angie replied, her voice faint.

Lafayette pushed his way into Alex's hotel room, closing the door. "It's a mess in here dude. Since when are you not organized and clean?"

"Since I've been drunk for a lot of this trip," Alex mumbled, walking in and taking a sip of his bottle before lying back down. "You wanna get a movie on pay per view or something? I was gonna browse but I've been getting off track."

"I've never seen you drink," Lafayette stated, grabbing the remote and sitting down next to Alex.

"It's been six years," Alex replied, sighing as he took another sip. "I'm gonna take off my leg, so don't look over and scream. People have done that before, and it's really annoying."

Lafayette took the bottle from Alex, taking a sip. "Herc and I have been fighting."

"I could tell," Alex chuckled. "He was being very passive-aggressive on his Snapchat story. I figured something was up. What's been going on?"

"Well, I don't know. I just don't get how he can still be friends with John with what he did," Lafayette mumbled. "I don't get it."

Alex rolled his eyes. "They're friends, dumbass. Of course, Herc is gonna stay by his side. They've been ride or die for a long friggin’ time, and I hate to say this, but John is probably gonna always come before both of us in the eyes of Herc. I mean, okay, how long have you known me?"

"Almost six years," Lafayette replied.

"Right," Alex nodded. "And we're really good friends, yes?"

Lafayette nodded.

"So let's say I was caught embezzling funds, hypothetically, and I was fired, and a lot of people hated me, would you turn your back on me?" Alex asked.

"No, you're my friend," Lafayette stated.

"Now you know why Herc is not leaving John. It's not about whether he agrees with his actions or not, it's about the fact that Herc and John raised their kids together. If they hadn't met us, they would've married each other." Alex took a sip of his whiskey. "They have Avengers."

"You think they would've gotten married?" Lafayette chuckled.

"Yeah, John told me they had a plan if they never met anyone. They were gonna get married, move to Thailand or something, and die old and happy," Alex stated. "I thought it was cute."

Lafayette paused. "You miss him."

Alex tilted his head back, taking a sip of his drink. "I really do, Lafayette. I miss his face, the way he looks in the morning, his smell, his body, fuck, his ass. I waited months to bury my face in that thing, and now it's gone, like everything else. My house wasn't a fucking home until him and Phillip showed up. I felt like I was just staying there, but then the moment John walked in, it was like, it was like I was living there again. I finally had a fucking family."

"What are you going to tell John?" Laf asked.

"I don't know," Alex mumbled, leaning against Lafayette. "I want to be with him. This whole trip, through everything, the only thing I've wanted is to curl up in his arms and hear him tell me that it'll be okay. I miss him so damn much." Alex paused, smiling. "And I miss Phillip. He's such a fuckin' cool kid, and he was so awesome to hang out with, and we just, we clicked, you know? He, God, during breakfast like the day John's siblings were leaving, he said I was his other dad. I mean, do you know how fucking good that made me feel? I felt like I was finally being a dad and doing it right."

"It's gonna be alright," Lafayette mumbled softly.

Alex took a large gulp of his whiskey. "No, it's fucking not. But I'll take a nap and deal with it because that's what I do. Maybe I'll just fuckin' drink my way through it. Like I did with Jay. You know, Laf, every time I find a guy who I really like, who I really think I could be with, something happens. Something fuckin' happens. Jay, I cheated on Jay, with Angie no less, and then he died. Fuckin' bastard was my best friend, and he fucking left me. I hope he's kicking himself for it."

"No you don't," Lafayette mumbled.

"Yeah, you're right." Alex finished off his whiskey, tossing the bottle to the floor. "You're not gonna leave Herc, right? He's a really good guy, and he's good for you. You need someone like him in your life."

"I'm not," Lafayette nodded. "He thinks I'm cheating on him, or I cheated on him, or something."

"Did you?" Alex asked.

"I didn't!" Laf gasped, throwing his hands up. "I swear to whatever God pleases you, I didn't cheat on that man. Why would I? I love him!"

"You did seem very adamant about going out to strip clubs, so I was just wondering," Alex mumbled. "Did you tell him that?"

"I did," Laf nodded. "I don't think he believes me though."

"I think, when you get back, you two need to have a nice long conversation, and you need to stop being a baby," Alex suggested. "I mean, come on dude, you've been so snippy lately, what's going on?"

"I've just been dealing with a lot," Lafayette mumbled. "As you know, my Grandmere passed a few months ago, and I have been left in charge of her will. I am going back to France this summer to sort everything out, but cousins and aunts and uncles and distant relatives I don't even know are coming to me, telling me the amount of money they deserve. Most of these people were left only a euro, which proved that they were not forgotten, but they think that because I am the person in charge of this, I can change it."

"What are you getting?" Alex asked.

"She left me most of her money and the city house. Her country house is going to my cousin, Annabelle, whom she also raised, and her car has been offered to my other cousin, Pierre, who has always had such an obsession with cars."

"City house in France, you ever gonna move?" Alex teased.

"Trying to get rid of me?" Lafayette laughed. "No, no, I could not leave New York. But the city house will be nice for when Herc, William, and I go up for the summers. No more hotels, just the house. We will have to clear some things out, go through my grandmere's belongings, definitely air the house out since it smells of an older woman, but it will be an entertaining affair. Herc commented on how much he loved her backyard, so I hope to possibly set up a gazebo so we can spend as many nights as we please out there." Lafayette nudged Alex. "When was the last time you were in France?"

"Thanksgiving, the year before I met John," Alex chuckled. "I went up with you, remember? We ate at that house, and then you and I sat on the roof and smoked too much weed for people our age."

"Yes, yes," Lafayette smiled. "That was nice." He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Sometimes, I do not understand why you despise your lack of family. I have family falling from cracks in the roof, and all they do is ask for money."

"The grass is always greener I suppose," Alex mumbled softly, thinking. "I am very sorry about your grandmere. She was wonderful."

Lafayette nodded. "She liked you very much, Alex. Told me that she saw potential in you, and bravery. Also said you were gonna die if you didn't learn to cook."

"I still don't know how," Alex chuckled. "I've always just dated people who could cook." He sighed a bit, smiling. "John could cook. He could cook really well. Well, not really well. Even he knew he couldn't cook Thai to save his life. But he made really good southern food. On my birthday, he made me biscuits and gravy, and oh my God, it was so good."

"You really miss him," Lafayette murmured.

Alex closed his eyes, trying not to cry. "I do, Lafayette. He's the best person I've ever been with. I know what he did, but at least, at least he doesn't beat the shit out of me, at least he doesn't use me. He made me feel good about myself, really good. I just, I don't see why it all had to go to shit."

"Maybe this is the person he really is," Lafayette pointed out.

"Bullshit," Alex scoffed. "You know how many people have told me how easily manipulated John is? More than one. And you know? I got hella bad vibes from his dad the moment he got there, and I don't trust that whole situation for one second. I don't know exactly what happened, but I don't think John chose this for himself."

Lafayette was about to speak up, but that Angie walked in. She had a few bags of takeout in her hands and was wearing a plain pair of sweatpants and a tank top. "Hey, guys, what're we watching?"

"Alex was thinking Avengers," Laf stated, smiling a bit.

"Sounds cool, scooch," Angie chuckled. She sat down on the bed, then handed Laf his food and Alex his, then began digging into her stir fry. "Hey, stumpy."

"Stumpy?" Lafayette laughed.

"Yes, when I lost my leg, Angelica coined a nickname for it," Alex chuckled. "She visited me and stumpy whenever she could. Her, Washington, Aaron, and Thomas were the only people who cared enough to send me anything or visit."

"Because we love you," Angie teased, pinching Alex's cheek. "Come on, let's watch the movie, I'm bored and hungry."

Lafayette bought the movie, and they all began watching it. Avengers was a good movie and kept their attention enough to where the conversation was light and rare as they ate. Lafayette finished his dinner and passed out about the time they got Hawkeye back, leaving Alex and Angie to be the only ones to finish the movie. When it was done, Angie got up and threw their trash away, including the Jack Daniels bottle, then sat back down, sighing.

"I wanna get my hair braided," she mumbled.

"Why don't you?" Alex asked.

"Because black hairstyles are seen as unprofessional and I'm already staring down a racist judicial system every day," Angelica answered simply.

Alex thought for a second. "Have you ever hated and loved someone at the same time?"

"Yeah, you," Angelica replied.

"What?"

Angelica looked over at him. "Yeah. Alex, you know I've loved you for most of my life, and you're one of my best friends, but you blamed me for Jay's death for a while, a few years, really. When Jay died, it didn't just hurt you, it hurt me, Aaron, Washington, Thomas. We loved him, more than anything. And I'm sorry we slept together that day, and I'm sorry he walked in, but I'm not sorry I didn't grapple for forgiveness from you when you were blaming me for something that wasn't my fault."

"I’m sorry," Alex mumbled.

"I had to go to so much therapy for that shit," Angelica sighed. "I loved Jay, I loved him as much as I love you. When he died, I just, it hurt. It really hurt. It really broke up all of us, not just you and me. I mean, we all stopped talking for a while. Even now, I just, I see him in you. God, I just, that was a hard funeral to go to."

"I didn't go," Alex mumbled.

"You would've just been mad," Angelica mumbled. "You know how shitty his mom was?"

Alex nodded.

"She got up, started talking about how she loved her son, how close they were, and we all knew that was a lie." Angelica shook her head. "It wasn't what he deserved."

"He always wanted a happy funeral," Alex smiled.

"He didn't get it," Angelica swallowed.

"Let's give him one," Alex suggested. "I mean, you could stay in town for a bit, visit your sister, help Aaron and Dosia go house hunting, we can all go out and get drinks, and then we can have a real funeral for him."

"Did John know about you and Jay?" Angie asked.

"He did," Alex nodded. "I think Jay would've really liked John. I think they would've gotten along really well. Both of them are socialists, and you know how Jay always wanted kids. I dunno. I miss him."

"I miss him too," Angelica nodded.

"Oh, yeah, Jay too," Alex agreed.

Angelica rolled her eyes and nudged Alex's shoulder. "Please tell me you aren't gonna let this be the end of you and that boy. Besides the obvious, he seems really good, and he doesn't beat the shit out of you, so I think that another bonus. I mean, come on, he's obviously perfect for you."

Alex shrugged. "Shouldn't I still be mad? I mean, I'm hurt, but not mad."

"If you really like him, and he really likes you, things will work out," Angelica shrugged.

Alex nodded, closing his eyes. "I hope so."


	29. How Easy It Has Become To Be Utterly Exhausted

George Washington wouldn't say he was exactly happy as he sipped his shitty coffee on his Delta airline flight. It was an aisle seat, thank God, so he could at least stretch his legs without climbing over people. He hated flying Delta though, but at least the flight wasn't too long.

He couldn't believe what John’d told him, but after a few minutes of looking into the man's claims, he realized John was right. It angered him to no extent. He figured that he could send a few _elected_ _officials_ out of town and they would act professional, mature, and safe. For some reason though, despite the fact that all of them are well past their thirties, they thought it would be a good idea to go out clubbing every night, and Alex thought it would be smart to start drinking.

Washington hadn't sent a text, nor an email to alert them of his arrival. It was early enough that he would most likely meet them at the courthouse before the case started. He knew what a hungover Alex looked like, and if that was the case, he would cancel the court date. He had the ability to do so, and he wasn't afraid to do it.

George shook his head a bit as the plane landed. He had a carry on suitcase that held enough clothes for the last five days that his three employees would be in Charleston. He had parted from his girlfriend Martha with a kiss, thanking her for watching the kids. She had simply smiled and nodded, telling him she loved him.

He and Miss Martha Curtis had been living quite happily together. She had taken up sign language to communicate with his son and had given his daughter the mother she deserved. It was homely, and George was ready to settle down, retire, and spend more time with his family.

The plane touched down and George finished his coffee before standing up and making his way off the plane, suitcase and satchel in hand. It was about seven in the morning so the court would start in an hour. Luckily, George very quickly found a cab and arrived at his Airbnb. It was quaint and calming. Unfortunately, George couldn't stay there. He dropped his bags, then went out to his cab, which had waited for him upon request.

"Courthouse, eh?" The driver started, making small talk.

"Yes," Washington nodded. "And I am in a bit of a hurry."

"I'll getcha there," the cabbie nodded.

The ride was quick, and George stepped out at the courthouse. He didn't see Angelica's motorcycle or Alex's Lamborghini, so he sat down on the steps, pulling out his phone and texting Martha. He knew she was probably busy with getting the kids ready for school, so he didn't weep when she failed to reply. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and waited. Then he saw the vehicles. No one could miss Angie's obnoxiously loud motorcycle, Alex's obnoxiously yellow Lamborghini. Washington stood up, crossing his arms and waiting for them to notice him.

"Sir!" Angie exclaimed when she noticed him. "Uh, we didn't, we didn't expect you to-"

George cut her off. "Oh, yes, I know. I know none of you expected me to be here, but I didn't expect you to act like _ fools  _ the  _ moment _ you were left without supervision, now did I?"

"Sir, we, uh," Lafayette began, stuttering.

"Yes, I know exactly what you are doing," Washington nodded. "You three, follow me." He walked into the courthouse, down a hallway where they had more privacy. He turned to the three of them, looking them over. "Stand up straight, Lafayette."

"He's in full general mode," Angelica mumbled, straightening her shoulders.

"Speak up, or don’t speak at all, Ms. Schuyler," Washington snapped. "I hope you three are proud. I send some of my best, most  _ trusted _ employees down to get Alex's money back and solve this mess. Lafayette, I justify sending you down too, Angelica, I justify paying you as much as we are, Alex, I provide you with our best lawyer, and this is how I’m repaid? You are embarrassing yourselves, and you are embarrassing our  _ goddamn _ state. I understand one night, if even one night, of going out, having a nice time, but this? You three have been romping around strip clubs, Alex has been drinking, and have either of you, Angelica, Lafayette tried to stop it? Have you said  _ anything _ at all?"

Angelica and Lafayette were quiet.

"Were either of you there for him when he was at rock bottom?" Washington thundered. "Do you know what Alex looks like when he is on a full-blown bender? No, you don't. I do. You do not know how important Alex's sobriety is, and here you are, wrecking it anyway." Washington took a deep breath. "And you, Lafayette. Shoving money down the women’s undergarments, despite being an engaged man! If I were in Hercules' position, I would've left you, and justifiably so. Then, instead of apologizing to him, you have dismissed his concerns? You can’t talk about shit besides him, and the moment things get difficult you surrender. You are weak and undeserving of Hercules if you cannot handle a disagreement."

"Sir-" Lafayette started.

"No, you don't get to talk," Washington interjected. "I'm not done." He looked to Alex. "I understand that you are hurt, but that is no excuse to harass John. You call him, drunk, constantly. You call him late at night when you know  _ damn _ well how early he rises for work. You wake him, you wake his son, you disturb them when you have no right too. John needs to adjust to where he is, and he cannot do that when his ex is calling him, harassing him, and leaving him thirty-minute voicemails. Until you are sober and ready to  _ really _ talk to him, you leave him alone."

Alex just nodded.

"And Angelica," Washington spat out. "Where to start. Oscar Wilde once said that all influence was immoral in a scientific point of view, but your influence had been more than immoral, it has been disastrous! You are not who you were in the army, and as long as you are working this job, you are not permitted to be! I understand that you are a woman with needs, but you must learn to find boundaries, to find limits! I am aghast at how poorly you have been acting. It makes me question whether I want you working for us! I don’t want a lawyer who cannot keep her hands to herself when she very much should."

Angelica nodded.

"You three have mistaken this trip for a vacation when it is  _ not _ !" Washington continued his tangent. "You came down here for legal reasons, and legal reasons only, yet you, you romp around the city, so carelessly. Alex, you want to be governor, but you pull this shit? No one will even  _ look _ at your campaign if you’re a raging alcoholic who cannot manage to stay sober for a single night. I have never been more disappointed in any of you! I am ashamed of your actions! Angelica, Alex, if word of your arrangement were leaked right now, both of you could be sued for nepotistic favoring, and Alex would lose his case. Do you know what that would mean for him? He would lose all of his savings. I will not stand for this, I will not let it happen. I cannot  _ believe  _ you three need a babysitter, but you have proved that nothing else will help so I will be staying here until your case is finished."

"Sir, I hardly think-"

Angelica was cut off by Washington’s sarcastic chuckle. "Yes, Angelica, that’s become clear to me. None of you have thought at all this entire trip! You will not be going to court today, I am canceling this session. All of you will spend the day in your hotel rooms. Lafayette, you will  _ apologize  _ to Hercules, because you are the one who should be apologizing, not him. Angelica, you will do your fucking job. You cannot always win by being the dominating voice in conversations, so get your damn facts straight." Washington looked to Alex. "You and I will have our very own conversation, understood?"

Alex nodded, gulping.

"Let’s go. Lafayette, you will take Alex's car, Alex and I will take a cab," Washington stated. "You will all meet me in the hotel lobby so I can make sure you have returned to your rooms."

"But-"

Washington cut Lafayette off. "Lafayette, I am this close to sending you home. If you don’t want a babysitter don’t act like a child."

Lafayette nodded and they walked back into the main area of the courthouse. Washington informed the judge that they needed to cancel today's court session, then walked his three employees outside. Angie and Lafayette left, while Alex and Washington waited for a cab. It was a tense silence, even once they got into the cab. The ride back to the hotel was anxiety filled for Alex. He had been chewed out by Washington before, and it was  _ not  _ fun.

Washington and Alex arrived at the hotel a little later, and Washington walked everyone up to their rooms. He told Angie he wanted her to be able to tell him almost everything about this case by the evening, he told Lafayette that he wanted proof that he and Hercules had talked, and then he walked Alex to his room.

Alex's hand shook as he slid in his room key and opened the door. Washington stepped in after Alex, and the door was shut. Alex mentally prepared himself for Washington to begin yelling again. His body stiffened, his lips pulled down into a frown.

Washington turned to him.

"It's okay," Washington murmured, pulling Alex into his arms. "It's okay."

Alex sucked in a bit of breath, then slowly, tentatively, hugged back. Washington was gently rubbed Alex's back, and Alex, for the first time this whole trip, felt at ease. His eyes fell shut as tears began to form. He didn't want to cry in front of his boss, his major, the man who had been above him his whole life, but he found his shoulders shaking as tears slipped down his cheeks.

"Let it out," Washington brought both of them over so they were sitting on Alex's bed, Alex leaning against Washington, still crying. "I'm here."

Alex choked and sniffled, not calming down. If anything, he began to cry harder. It was messy, gross crying. His eyes were red, his nose was running, he was shaking. Alex realized he hadn't really cried about the whole situation. He had been sad, but he had drowned his emotions in work, alcohol, or sex. He hadn't cried, though. This was nice.

No, nice wasn't the word Alex would use to describe this. Comforting. Yes, that was right. It was comforting. Washington had been there for Alex for over ten years. Through the smart, the stupid, the arrogant and the awesome. The day Alex decided to get sober, Washington was there. Washington picked Alex up from rehab and drove him to the Manhattan townhouse. Washington and Alex lived together for a year or so, and even on the worst days, Washington was there for Alex.

"I miss him," Alex choked out.

"I know," Washington nodded.

"I hate being here. I hate this town, I hate this fucking court case, I hate this! I hate all of this! I want to go home," Alex sobbed.

"You will," Washington assured him.

"I miss my mom," Alex mumbled, wiping his cheeks. "I miss my brother."

Washington, not knowing how to offer comfort for that, just gently stroked Alex's hair.

Alex continued crying, gripping his chest a bit, as he did so. It was a long cry session, but Washington stayed the whole time, loosening Alex's tie at one point so it wasn't so noose-like. When Alex finally finished, he pulled out of the hug a bit, wiping his cheeks and pushing his hair back.

"Are you gonna talk to him?" Washington asked.

"Yeah, I am," Alex nodded. "God, what a shit week it's been."

"It has," Washington nodded. "Come on, I'll order breakfast, and we can talk."

"Ugh, God, nothing for me," Alex mumbled, standing up and taking off his tie. "I'm so hungover right now, I feel like I’m going to vomit my brain out."

Washington sighed. "Do you need to go back to rehab?"

Alex shook his head, unbutton his dress shirt so he was just in the tee shirt he had under it, as well as his dress pants, which he swapped for a pair of comfortable jeans. "No, I just need to get my shit together."

"You can't be pulling this shit, Alex," Washington stated as Alex walked back over to the bed and sat down.

"It's just a relapse," Alex mumbled.

"It's not  _ just  _ a relapse. It’s a relapse," Washington reminded. "It's a relapse, and you need to make sure that it stops here. As your friend, I will do everything I can for you to help, but as your boss, I will not tolerate you showing up to work anything but sober. How bad has this been? Be honest."

Alex shrugged. "I've had worse. I've been getting drunk at night, but I've been able to make it through the day. I haven't shown up to court drunk."

Washington nodded. "Okay, that’s good, that’s better than I thought. You think you could stop now if you tried?"

"I don't know," Alex mumbled. "I want to."

"Then you can," Washington stated. "I have faith in you, Alexander. How about instead of clubbing for the next couple of nights, we go out to eat. Us and anyone who wishes to come. I'll make sure you get back to your hotel room, and if you do feel the urge to drink, call me, or call a support number."

Alex nodded, laying back. "Did you really fly down to South Carolina to yell at us?"

Washington laid back next to Alexander. "Did you all spend a work trip getting hammered and being unfaithful?"

Alex let out a low hum. "And John told you I was drinking again?"

"He did," Washington nodded.

"Did he seem sad?" Alex asked, looking over. "Like, he cared?"

"He wouldn't have told me if he didn't care," Washington pointed out. "Really Alex? Thirty-minute voicemail of y'all's wedding and joint funeral?"

Alex groaned, running his hand over his face. "That alone is enough to get me to stop drinking. I can't believe I... God, that's embarrassing."

"I talked to John more about it later, and he said if you just stopped he was fine with never talking about it ever again," Washington informed Alex. "I truly believe you gave him second-hand embarrassment."

Alex nodded, sighing. "I just think he's so dumb, with his stupid pretty face, and his dumb perfect ass, and his idiotic wonderful personality."

"Yes, I can tell how much you hate him," Washington commented sarcastically.

"Don't even get me started on his dumb freckles," Alex mumbled. "He just thinks he's  _ so cute  _ because he has freckles. Well, you know what? He is!"

"Sounds terrible. I can’t believe you two lasted for so long," Washington laughed.

"Quite terrible, no one should be that good at making me love them," Alex huffed. "Had the audacity to come into  _ my life  _ and change it  _ for the better.  _ What a prick!"

"Indeed," Washington nodded.

"Don't get me started on how wonderful Phillip is," Alex huffed.

"I won't," Washington said.

"He's perfect! He's well behaved, and I mean, yeah, he's still only seven, but he's awesome! He's caring, and you know what? He just knows shit! He's such a smart kid, and he's clever, and he's an artist. He colors all the time." Alex huffed. "I don't know who decided my life should get better, but when I find out, I'm gonna kick their ass."

"Have you tried yoga?" Washington suggested sarcastically.

"You know, this all sucks, but at least it wasn't caused by my self-destructive tendencies." Alex laughed, staring at the ceiling. "I mean, come on, we gotta give me a bit of credit. For once, the ending of a relationship was not my fault so I call that improvement."

"Yes, I would agree," Washington mumbled, closing his eyes. "Is the racism too terrible down here?"

"I haven't been denied service or told to come in the back, but the quantity of Confederate flags and the amount of Christian propaganda is enough to make me want to leave. No wonder John is so pissed at the government and has discarded all religion. He grew up here."

"Southern states are beautiful, but leave a bad taste in your mouth regardless of how long you are there." Washington sighed a bit. "You should sleep. You sound tired, Alexander."

"I am tired," Alex mumbled. "I feel like I haven't slept this whole trip. Like I haven't done anything but cry, drink, and go to court."

"Let's go out and get a pizza for lunch," Washington suggested. "You can sleep off your hangover, and then we can go out, get a big pizza, and-"

"God, this place has no good pizza joints," Alex mumbled. "It's all deep dish."

"Gross," Washington agreed. "Alright, what about their Indian? I could kill for some curry."

"Bold of you to assume it's good," Alex chuckled. "We gotta eat something southern, because there’s only three foreign places, and none of them are good."

"God, no wonder you started drinking again," Washington mumbled. "It's probably the only thing with taste. Alright, I'll do some research on good southern places, you take a nap, and I'll be back around..." Washington checked his phone. "One? Is that good?"

Alex nodded, pushing himself up to the pillows and slipping off his dress pants. "Yeah, I'll be good by then. Could you give my leg a tug? I'm too tired to work it off."

Washington nodded and got the wooden prosthetic off of Alex's leg, setting in down so it was leaning against the nightstand. Alex thanked him and watched as he left, slipping the covers off his stump before pulling the sheet over him. He closed his eyes and was quick to fall asleep.

Meanwhile, in the room next door, Lafayette was pacing the room a bit, trying to figure out what to say. He knew Washington was right, and he knew he needed to apologize, but his damn pride kept getting in the way. He didn't want to be fighting with Herc anymore. He missed talking to him. He missed Herc.

Lafayette sat down and opened up his laptop, going to FaceTime. He knew Herc was probably at school, but not teaching since it was a teacher work day. Lafayette pressed his contact and waiting, undoing his tie a bit as he waited. It rang three times before Herc picked up. He looked tired, and Lafayette could see Herc's thermos in view of the camera, so figured he was relying quite heavily on coffee. No painting today, but Laf could see some colors on Herc's face and hands, so he figured it was oil pastel or watercolor.

"Uh, hey?" Herc greeted. "Hold on, let me just-" Herc cursed and something thudded to the floor. "Yikes, that wasn't supposed to fall off my desk. Broken? No, okay. Hold on, one sec." Herc huffed a bit, picking up a canvas, then moving a few things on his desk so he could move his laptop a bit. "Okay, alright, I think that's-" Something else fell. "Fuck."

"Oh, goodness, mon amour, you must clean your desk," Lafayette chuckled.

"That's what our ceramics teacher, Mrs. Wolfe says, but I think she's just being picky," Herc mumbled. "Okay, okay, everything is good, I think." He sighed, taking a sip of coffee from his thermos. "Hi."

Lafayette smiled, shaking his head. "Hello, mon chaton. You look tired."

Herc nodded. "Didn't sleep well last night. God, and my second-period class is just, it's hell. They took the class for an easy A, and obviously don't care much about it. My AP kids are the only really focused students I have. Oh, and then, in my third period, these couple of kids started working on this huge painting of Anish Kapoor's Cloud Gate, but they're painting it Stuart Semple pink, just to piss him off. I ordered the pigment today but got into a little trouble for using the school card on Amazon. It's really cool though, I'm really excited to see how it's gonna turn out." Herc paused, thinking. "Why'd you call? Aren't you supposed to be in court or something?"

Lafayette shook his head. "Washington canceled it today. Came down here, and is staying, because apparently, he thinks three grown adults need a babysitter."

Herc shrugged a bit, giving Lafayette a look that said 'well, he's not wrong.' Herc took another sip of his coffee. "You all probably shouldn't have gotten drunk and gone out to strip clubs every night." He looked down at his engagement ring, twisting it a bit. "You especially."

Lafayette sighed, thinking for a second. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" Herc prompted, obviously knowing exactly what he wanted Lafayette to say.

"For going out to strip clubs, for doing all the stupid things I did, for getting mad at you for sharing your feelings, for not apologizing when I should've, and for not listening to my beautiful perfect fiance. Also I love you very much," Lafayette listed.

Herc nodded. "I like it, but I want something."

"What?" Laf asked.

"I dunno, a souvenir or something," Herc stated. "Candy. Or a stuffed bear for William. Buy my love."

"Oh, I have to buy it?" Lafayette mused.

"Damn right," Herc nodded. "I want material items."

Lafayette smiled, sighing a bit. "How's home sweet home?"

"Home sweet home is good." The art teacher took a sip of his coffee. "I miss you though. Your bed is way too big for one person. William and I have been watching a lot of movies, hanging out with John and Pip a lot, since none of us have anything better to do. Been going through art block, so just trying to break through that. Went out with a few friends."

"I saw," Laf nodded.

Herc smiled a bit. "God to see Martha again, then got to listen to her and John fuck."

"Are they together?" Lafayette asked.

"No, no, John and Martha will never be together," Herc stated. "They're just friends who occasionally fuck when they're both single. It's how they've always been. Like rabbits they were when she was living with him." Herc paused, thinking. "What about Alex and Angie?"

"Alex misses John," Lafayette told Herc. "Like, a lot."

"John misses Alex," Herc replied.

"Alex doesn't believe that John wasn't pressured or manipulated into what he did," Lafayette continued.

"Good, he shouldn't." Herc sighed, thinking. "You don't know much about John's dad, do you? Like, have I ever told you about that?"

Lafayette shook his head.

Herc sipped his coffee. "Look, you don't tell Alex this, but John's dad has always been abusive towards John, and even John's mother. It's not like he was beating them or anything, but he just, he could manipulate people so easily. I mean, John's dad is fucking terrifying. I met John when he was working through that. I mean, I don't think John really had his mental breakthrough where he realized he was worth more than what his dad made him out to be until Phillip was born. I mean, God." Herc shook his head. "It was a real shame to see a man as good as John look so broken."

"What does John think of his dad now?" Lafayette asked. "Is he still on his side?"

Herc shook his head. "No, no. John, he, he's really mad at himself for what he did. He knows his dad is the bad guy in this situation."

"Alex wants to get back together with John or wants to try at least," Laf stated. "I mean, he's hurt, but he really misses John. He wants to see him again, eventually. He just needs time."

"John said that whatever Alex did, he'd be okay with it, but I know he loves Alex." Herc checked out his office window to make sure his boss didn't just enter his classroom. "I'm not really supposed to be talking to you on school wifi when I'm supposed to be grading stuff."

"What do you even grade in art class?" Laf asked.

"That’s the thing, I grade on how completed the assignment it, not how good or bad it is, so all my grading is done. I've just been kinda drawing and watching Maria Kondo. The only reason I'm here is for the pay, to be honest. The kids come back tomorrow though, which is nice." Herc held up his sketchbook. "Look, I drew a bat."

Lafayette smiled. "I love it. That book looks almost full, do you need another?"

"I do, but I'll get it myself because I need a certain texture of paper," Herc explained. "Oh, William has been wanting a dog, because you know how Pip has Basil? Anyway, his new hobby is looking at pictures of dogs on Google and asking if we can get them."

"We have Snookum," Lafayette stated.

"Snookum is a cat," Herc laughed. "I dunno, I think a dog might be nice. Basil is a good boy, and we have the backyard for it."

"But they're so loud," Laf whined.

"I'm allergic to cats, you can put up with some barking," Herc negotiated.

"You're allergic to cats?" Laf gasped. "How did I not know this?"

Herc laughed. "How did you  _ not  _ know? You think I just tear up around Snookum for no reason? And I sneeze around her all the time, and also, I practically live off of Claritin."

"I let Snookum sleep in our room, do you way up sneezing?" Laf asked.

Herc shrugged. "Sometimes. It's not a big deal. Snookum is good company for me right now. When do you get back? Friday?"

"Yeah, late Friday I think, unless the court case runs past that," Lafayette sighed. "I miss you, Herc. I miss waking up next to you and I miss showering together in the morning. I miss cooking breakfast for you, kissing you goodbye."

Herc smiled, resting his chin on his hand.

"I miss the way your body looks, the way it feels," Lafayette continued. "I miss the way your thighs feel when my head is between them. I miss the way you look when you're riding my dick, head tilted back, mouth open to let forth the sweetest moans." Lafayette closed his eyes and sighed, groaning a bit. "I miss the way your ass looks after I've filled it with my come, the way the come just drips down your thighs, stands out against that beautiful fucking cocoa skin. Fuck."

Hercules bit his lip, looking around and making sure his boss wasn't in the room. "When you get back, I'm going to ride you until I fucking break."

"Mm, baby, you promise?" Lafayette chuckled.

"It's a guarantee," Herc smiled.

Lafayette sighed, leaning back against his pillow. "I love you so much."

Hercules smiled. "I love you too. Oh, hey, I talked to my parents about coming up for a little bit this summer."

"Oh?" Lafayette smiled, though the smile wasn't totally genuine. "That's nice."

Herc sighed. "I'm not gonna let my dad say that shit anymore, I promise."

Lafayette shrugged. "It's fine. You know, I should be used to it by now. It's not just your dad, even, it's everywhere. My job, my home life, just walking down the street even. I'm not white enough for politics, not black enough to openly talk about my struggles, it's a big back and forth."

Herc sighed, placing his chin on his hand. "You're just right for me."

Lafayette smiled. "You're too good to me, Herc. Do your parents know about the engagement yet?"

"I figured I'd tell them when they come up." Herc held up his hand, admiring the ring. "I can't exactly hide this gorgeous thing, and I don't want to either." The younger man smiled. "Speaking of the wedding, where should we have it?"

Lafayette shrugged. "We could have it at my grandmere's place, but wherever is fine."

"Actually, I didn't want to bring it up because I thought it might seem disrespectful, but the moment I saw that backyard I knew I wanted to get married in it," Herc stated. “I mean, Laf, the house is gorgeous, and it was where you grew up. Plus, we'd save money."

"More money towards our flower budget," Lafayette crowed.

"No more money towards our flower budget!" Herc gasped. "I already don't see how we can spend over two thousand dollars on flowers, we don't need anymore."

"You're no fun," Lafayette pouted. "But I would love to have it at my grandmere's house." Lafayette thought for a second. "She really liked you. She said you were very cute, very smart, and very kind. She told me you were my very own shooting star and that I ought to keep you close."

Hercules smiled sweetly. "I love you." His head popped up, looking over his computer. "Hey, I think my boss is about to walk in. Love you."

"Love you too," Lafayette replied.

"Bye," Herc said quickly, ending the call before Lafayette could say goodbye as well. Lafayette just smiled, sighing as he sat back on his bed. He shook his head a bit, smiling. He loved Herc, and he was not going to mess it up.

-

Later into the day, Alex found himself sitting in a cafe, his laptop in front of him, as well as some coffee and a small bowl of soup. He had slept off his hangover, and desperately needed to get out of his hotel room, so he found a cafe nearby, and walked to it. He was currently trying to write up the plan for the Parent And Child bill. He needed to get it done, but it was hard when every time he thought about it, he thought about John.

John was such an interesting person to him when they first met. So angry, defensive, closed off. Alex found it almost endearing if he was to be honest. He had never come across someone quite like John. He was interesting and layered. Alex treasured the John he had, the John he lost. That John was full of secret looks you could only guess the meaning off. Sweet midday kisses, the perfect smell of rosemary and mint.

Alex sighed, switching to a different document where he was writing a short story. Sometimes, he got sick of working. He didn't want to do it anymore, so he wrote. He wrote stories and poems, letters. He had a letter in his computer bag for his brother, James that he had yet to finish, but was feeling quite uninspired at the moment, seeing as there wasn't much good news to deliver.

"Alex?" A voice called.

Alex's head whipped up and he spotted none other than John's sister, Martha, with a guy who looked familiar, but Alex couldn't figure out why. Discomfort bore into Alex's stomach as Martha smiled, coming over. Alex shut his laptop, trying to make it appear as if he was listening, or if he cared.

"Martha, hi," Alex smiled.

"Jasper, this is Alex, John's ex," Martha introduced. "Alex, this is Jasper Harrington."

Alex snorted. "No shit."

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"I've just, I've heard about you," Alex laughed. "John talked about you sometimes, and then I got to see a few pictures of him in his emo phase, and you were in some."

"How is John?" Jasper asked. "Last I saw him, he had a scholarship and was heading up to New York."

"Well, he's still up in New York, and I'd say he's doing pretty well," Alex nodded, feeling his heart pang a bit.

"How's your witch hunt for my father going?" Martha asked.

"Well, I have good news for you, your father was going to go to prison regardless of what I did, because he embezzled millions of dollars and then tried to cover it up." Alex smiled sarcastically, standing up. "I'm gonna go. Jasper, it was nice to meet you, glad you're not emo anymore. Martha, your father is a scoundrel. I will get every single penny back, and then some." Alex leaned forward a bit. "Unlike your brother, I am not afraid of him, and unlike you, I will not turn a blind eye to his actions."

"You're a bastard," Martha scoffed.

Alex nodded, quirking an eyebrow. "A sexy one." He smiled, slinging his computer bag over his shoulder. "Goodbye, Martha. Tell Henry, Jemmy, and Mary that I said hello."

Alex walked out of the cafe, huffing a bit. He didn't like John's sister Martha. She was a bitch, an enabler, a complete and utter piece of shit. Alex knew John loved her, but John did that with his family. He saw them as perfect when they were so painfully not. Of course, no one is perfect, but John didn't seem to realize that.

Alex faltered when he walked past a synagogue. It was a tall, white stone building with the Star Of David on it, as well as a name. Alex, with very little hope of it being unlocked, walked up to the steps. He knew a lot of synagogues kept their doors locked when not in use or occupied, especially with the recent uprising of white supremacists.

Alex was surprised when the door opened. He stepped inside, breathing in the smell of old wood and candlewax. He stepped inside and through the rows of pews until he made it to the front, sitting down and sighing. He stared up at the podium where the rabbi would talk.

"Hi, Momma," Alex mumbled softly. "I know I haven't talked to you in a while, I've just been busy. If you're up there, looking down, watching, whatever, you'll know why." Alex swallowed, thinking. "Things have been really hard lately, you probably know that though. I just, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to handle this. I obviously can't drink my problems away. I don't know why I keep trying, it obviously doesn't work. It didn't bring Franny back, it didn't bring Jay back, it's not doing anything to help this whole John situation. James is in Nevis, my home is in New York, and I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere."

Alex paused for a second, thinking. His mother would've taken a wooden spoon to the back of his head if she had heard him curse like that, and then stuck a bar of soap in his mouth. She didn't tolerate Alex cursing, which made him want to curse more.

"I'm sorry," He mumbled. "I probably shouldn't be swearing here, especially when talking to you. I just, I don't know how to tell John I'm sorry, I don't know how to forgive John, but I want to. I want to so bad. I want to be okay with him again, momma. I love him." Alex shook his head. "I don't get it. You always taught me to forgive, but I still don't know how. I don't know how to forgive. I wish you were here. You would know what to say. You would always know. When I would come home from school crying, you were there for me. You taught me almost everything I know." Alex sniffled. "I can't do this on my own."

Alex leaned back, sighing and closing his eyes. The room was painfully quiet, but it was nice. He could've fallen asleep if he wanted to. This synagogue was nothing like the one in Nevis. The one in Nevis had more color, and it was seemingly never empty. The front steps usually had kids playing or talking, people were always praying, socializing. It was the only synagogue in a very Jewish area, so it was almost always full.

"May I sit?" A voice asked.

Alex jumped, looked over, and then jumped again. "Father! Yes, of course." Alex scooted over, letting the Rabbi sit beside him. "I'm sorry, am I not supposed to be here?"

"Of course you are, child," the Rabbi nodded. "God's temple is always open."

Alex nodded. "Thank you, father."

"Tell me, child, what is it that brings you here today? It seems that no one comes here alone unless something is troubling them," the Rabbi stated.

"Something is troubling me, father," Alex responded. "I have come into a very hard time in my life, and I fear if I do not learn to forgive, I will lose someone I love very much." Alex sighed, thinking for a second. "I do not understand why this is happening. I feel as if my life has been an obstacle after obstacle, and I feel as though God doesn't want me to be happy. I have lost my daughter, my best friend, my mother, and now I may lose the man I love because I have not learned to forgive."

The Rabbi nodded, thinking. "Have your Jewish teachings extended to the six-day war?"

"I don’t believe so, father," Alex told him.

"I will tell you," the Rabbi smiled, patting Alex's knee. "Many areas of Jerusalem were being shelled, including Mea Shearim, which contained a number of yeshivot. The students of one of these, the famous Mir Yeshiva, just like everyone else, spent their time in a bomb shelter. They were praying, and learning, with great concentration, with the sounds of explosions around them all the time. The shelter contained a number of people other than the members of the Yeshiva, and one of these, a woman, suddenly cried out: 'Lord of the universe! I have been married and divorced, and during my marriage, my husband treated me terribly for many years, abusing me and humiliating me in public. But now I'm prepared to forgive him, and I pray that You, Lord, will then, similarly, forgive the Jewish people for whatever sins of theirs are causing this present suffering!' The Rosh Yeshiva of Mir Yeshiva, Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz, one of the great Torah scholars of his generation, overheard this, and exclaimed: 'If we get out of this alive, it will be on this woman's merit!' And they did."

"That's very interesting," Alex nodded.

"See, the woman, by forgiving those who brought her pain, brought forgiveness onto herself from the Lord, and the suffering of those in the shelter was ended," the Rabbi explained. "The Jewish people have been through many hardships, but we forgive those who have brought pain, and the Lord forgives us. We would not be the community we are without hardship. For the Lord to forgive you of your pain, you must forgive those who have brought it onto you."

Alex nodded slowly. "But, I don't know how."

"You must understand that what they have done is done, the pain they have caused cannot be taken back." The Rabbi looked towards the candles in the front. "By hating them, you are no better than them. You must remember, my child, forgiveness does not mean you will welcome them with open arms, it means you have moved past the pain they have caused you and rid yourself of the hurt they have burdened you with. Whatever you decide to do next, you must decide."

Alex nodded slowly. "You think it is possible to forgive no matter what?"

The rabbi nodded. "We have all forgiven before, and we can all do it again."

Alex sat for a very long time next to the Rabbi, thinking. He let the Rabbi's advice soak in, he brought up the faces of those who had caused him pain. He brought of the faces of men that had been covered in scarves so no one would know it was them as they shot and killed the people around them. Alex brought up the face of his cousin, Eliza, his brother, John, John's father and sister. He felt like crying almost but swallowed it down. He sat and he thought, the Rabbi keeping him company.

"Thank you, father," Alex said finally. "You have given me much to think about."

"Good," the Rabbi nodded, standing up. "You may stay as long as you wish, my child. Adonai yevarechecha, veyishmerecha."

"Ratson, yehi ken." Alex nodded and the Rabbi walked away, leaving Alex to think a bit longer. He found himself playing with the Star Of David on his necklace, thinking of his childhood, of his mother. He missed her. He had always missed her and often thought about her every day. There were some deaths that you thought about every day, and his mother's death was one of them.

Alex smiled at the memory of sitting with his four-year-old daughter, reading her Jewish stories, coloring with her. Her freckles popping on her light skin, she loosely curled brown hair that always got tangled. She was a sweet girl. Alex hoped she was safe, with his mother and Jay. Jay had met Franny only a few times but loved her dearly. He was heartbroken when she died, like most who had met her.

Eventually, Alex stood up and left, walking out of the synagogue. He called for a taxi and headed back to the hotel, sighing a bit. He made his way up to his room, lying down on his bed and slipping off his jeans and prosthetic before carefully closing his eyes, thinking of what the Rabbi said until he drifted off to sleep.

-

A few days later, Alex sat in the courtroom, nursing his twenty-ounce cup of black coffee. Angelica sat next to him, rolling her eyes as she listened to the lawyer working for Henry Sr. talk. He was quite annoying, boring, and obviously sexist. Angelica was getting sick of his shit and was ready to stand up and speak her part. Many times, she and the judge had looked at each other like they were on The Office. Washington and Lafayette, who were sitting behind them, had rolled their eyes plenty times.

It was the second to last day they were supposed to be there. The trial would end either today, or tomorrow, and Alex was quite ready for that to happen. He wanted to go home and actually sleep, recover, cope and shit. He was ready to be back at work, back in New York. The South was probably the scariest place he had ever been. He found it laughable that New York was stereotyped as some evil place by the people who pretended the bible belt didn't exist. It was like some handmaiden's tale or some shit, senators trying to control women's bodies, and Angelica had made it very clear that when it was time, she was going straight to Alabama to begin the fight to get the abortion ban repealed.

"This is the kinda guy who wouldn't give his wife head," Alex mumbled to Angelica very quietly, nodding at the lawyer.

"You're right, and you should say it," Angelica laughed quietly.

The lawyer continued talking for a little while longer, causing Alex to drift off and begin doodling on the paper in front of him. Little stick people and houses. He was so far off in his own world that he didn't notice the judge calling him and Angie up until Angelica kicked him in the shin lightly.

"Mr. Hamilton," the judge said, sighing. "Would you mind taking your place at the stand, and we will let Ms. Schuyler question you."

"Yes, sorry," Alex nodded, standing up. He sat down, facing the court, smiling a bit at Angelica. She pulled out her silk kerchief, which meant she was about to give a real sermon to the courtroom. Alex sat back and admired her for a second. That was a woman who had him beat in every way possible. She was the smartest in the room, always, and she knew it. She didn't stand to be interrupted, and if she was, she would bite.

"Mr. Hamilton, how long have you been in politics?" She asked.

"Six years, Ms. Schuyler," Alex replied.

"In these six years, have you ever even thought about becoming acquaintances with southern politicians?" Angelica continued.

"No," Alex answered.

"Senator Henry Laurens has recently pushed for an abortion ban in South Carolina, do you support him on this?" Angelica questioned.

"Absolutely not," Alex replied.

"Have you ever agreed with any of Senator Laurens' policies?" Angelica asked.

"I have not," Alex told her.

"Precisely!" She smiled, flicking her handkerchief up for dramatic effect. "Your honor, is it not obvious that not only has Henry Laurens stolen Mr. Hamilton's money, but put it to use for the very things Alex does not believe in. This is grounds for a defamation suit. My client has been robbed, slandered, and dragged through the mud. Henry Laurens has not only committed a crime but a sin."

Alex nodded a bit at that one, giving her a supportive look.

"My client only wishes to return to his life, yet he cannot, for the money Henry Laurens stole from him was vital to that life." Angelica pointed to Henry Laurens, her handkerchief hanging from her hand. "May  _ shame  _ come unto you!" She looked to the judge. "My client deserves justice and repayment from Mr. Laurens."

The judge nodded, thinking. "I would like to take a ten-minute recess, and in this time, the jury will come up with a verdict." He pounded his gavel and then left the room.

"I need more coffee," Alex decided, standing up and walking over to where everyone else was.

"At least they're deciding a verdict," Lafayette mumbled. "Yeah, I'll go with you."

"Ugh, I'm so ready for this to be over," Alex admitted to Laf in French as they stood in line in the coffee stand. Alex leaned against his friend a bit. "The alcohol withdrawal is not fun. I haven't been able to keep anything down."

"Yeah dude, you look like shit," Lafayette chuckled, replying in French. "You need some serious rest and recuperation. You gotta get some food in you."

"I'm just gonna buy like, four hundred cans of soup and live off of that," Alex laughed. "I don't think I wouldn't started drinking if I had remembered how awful withdrawal was. Don't ever be an alcoholic, Laf."

"I won't," Laf nodded as they got to the front of the line. He stopped talking in French, switching to English. "One twenty ounce black coffee, and one macchiato, double shot." He paid and then went back to talking to Alex in his native language. "I miss my love."

"I miss my bed," Alex replied, laughing a bit.

"You gonna talk to John when you get back?" Lafayette asked.

"Not until I forgive him," Alex mumbled. "I have to let go of the pain he brought onto me before I decide what to do."

"Do you think you can?" Lafayette asked.

"If I ever want to move past this, then I have to," Alex answered.

The recess went by, and soon enough, Alex was sitting back in the courtroom, waiting for the judge to decide. He sipped his coffee, trying to ignore the headache that rolled through his skull. His body hurt and ached like he had a fever, and he was forever grateful when Angelica pulled out a small packet that held two aspirin and handed it to Alex. He put the painkillers between his teeth, biting down and then washing the powder down with his coffee.

"I've come to a verdict," the judge announced.

Angelica gripped Alex's wrist, not even breathing. It was quiet in the courthouse, only the sound of the birds outside reminding people that they aren't in a painting. Alex closed his eyes, praying, praying that this would be the change. Alex needed something to break the streak of bad luck.

"Henry Laurens, I sentence you to five years in prison and debt of fifteen million dollars to Alexander Hamilton," The judge announced. "Mr. Hamilton, you will be provided with the fifteen million right away, and Henry Laurens will pay the state back."

Alex's eyes widened and he stopped breathing. "Fifteen million dollars?"

"Holy shit," Angelica gasped. "I knew I was good, but not that good."

"Wait, hold on," Alex started, standing up. "Are you telling me that I'm getting fifteen million dollars?"

The judge nodded.

Alex could help the shout that escaped his mouth. He jumped up, smiling wide and instantly hugging Angelica. She laughed, hugging him back. The euphoria pumping through everyone's bodies was amazing. Alex felt so good, so happy. He felt like he was on the top of the world as he watched Henry Sr. get taken out of the room.

"Hey! Henry!" Alex yelled. "I fucked your son, John!"

Henry Laurens looked like he was about to say something back, the anger apparent in his face. He was pushed out of the room before he could say anything else though. Alex smiled, hugging Angelica again.

"That was quite crude, Alexander," Washington pointed out.

Alex nodded. "But definitely worth it." He smiled at all of them, pushing his hair back. "Dinner, tonight, all on me."

"Slow down, Bugs, we gotta collect your winnings first," Angelica smiled. "Come on, Alex, let's go get 'em. You deserve it."

-

Maria walked down the studio hallway to John's classroom. Her ballet shoes were tied around her neck, and her bare feet ached in protest with every step. She was tired but had two water bottles for both of them. John had some time to kill before he had to go pick up Phillip, so she was going to hang out with him until he had to go.

She knew what happened between Alex and John. John had kept absolutely nothing from Maria. He had told everything, every dirty detail. Every mistake, every drunk phone call, every heartbreaking word of that voicemail. Maria had been staying at John's place, keeping the family company. Just being there for them in case John didn't have enough energy to be Phillip's only parent. Maria had been there for John.

"Oh no," Maria said softly as she peeked through the window on the door to John's classroom. John was sitting on the floor, leaning back against a wall, staring into seemingly nothing. His phone was in his hand, and tears were running down his cheeks slowly. Maria stepped into the classroom, going and sitting next to John. She used her thumb to wipe a tear off of John's cheek, though it was quickly replaced. "You okay, hon?"

"Alex told my dad," John muttered.

Maria got a sick feeling in her stomach. "Told him what?"

"Told him that me and Alex had been together. If you want exact phrasing though, he stood up, looked at my dad, and said that he fucked me." John laughed a bit, shaking his head. "I just got off a twenty-minute phone call with my dad where all he did was yell at me. He called me immoral, he called me disgusting, said I was nothing."

"John," Maria said softly, taking John's hand.

"And here's the best part," John chuckled bitterly. "He is going to jail for fourteen years, and he has the  _ audacity  _ to call me an embarrassment to the family." John looked to Maria, tears still slipping out of his eyes. "It's that fucking rich? I mean, how fucking blind to your own bullshit do you have to be?"

"John," Maria said softly.

"I just don't get it," John muttered softly. "I know I hurt Alex, but he just, he outed me! He told my dad something I never wanted my dad to know! You know what? I would get it if he talked shit about the Laurens name in the papers. He knows family secrets, and honestly, some of that shit should be said, but this is a whole other thing. This isn't justified. This is too far."

"I'm sorry," Maria offered.

John stared forward. "I hate him."

"Alex?" Maria asked.

"No." John shook his head a bit. "I couldn't hate Alex if I tried. Alex isn't the son of a bitch who caused all of this. Alex isn't the man who manipulated me and used me and ruined my relationship. He isn't the man who made me feel like shit about myself all throughout my childhood. He didn't hit me, or didn't make me feel like nothing I ever did was right. Alex isn't the reason I spent every night crying and vomiting and trying to be better than I was." John's lips twitched with anger.

Maria nodded.

"My father is fucking dead to me," John said in a low tone. "If I ever see him again, I'm going to knock him on his ass. See how much he fucking likes it."

"I don't think you'll have to," Maria pointed out, leaning her head against John's shoulder.

John sighed, resting his head against her shoulder. "Do you want to come over for dinner tonight?"

"I do," Maria nodded.

"What should we have for dinner?" John asked, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down. "I don't have a preference."

Martha began rubbing his hand comfortingly, light touches like her mother would do when she was angry. "Let's order some Thai food."

John closed his eyes and hummed. "That sounds good."

Martha sighed. "I never liked your dad anyway. I thought he was a douche from the moment you talked about him, and when I found out he was coming up, I had to resist the urge to kick his ass."

"I don't think I ever liked him either," John mumbled.

"The abuse wasn't your fault," Maria said softly. "Your dad is fucked up and deserves to be in prison. He's abused you most of your life, and you deserve to be happy."

"I'm just so tired of feeling like I'm not good enough," John said softly.

"You are good enough," Maria assured John. "We met when we were eighteen, remember? And right there, right from the moment I leaped into your arms in a dramatic manner, I knew you were going to be my best fucking friend, and you are. I have watched you grow and develop. I've watched you become a father, fall in love, get engaged, not in that order. You've always been good enough for me. I don't need you to be any more than what you are, John Laurens, and I love you, regardless of what you've done."

John sighed softly and kissed the top of Maria's head. "Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person left in the universe and then you come along and remind me that I'm not. Remind me that I still have people around me."

"And those people love you, John," Maria assured him. "Come on, let's go get Phillip and go home. I'm sure there's a PG movie on TV that we can watch, and some really good Thai food we can eat."

John smiled, wiping his cheeks. "I'm sure there is."

  
  



	30. Pull It Together, You Stupid Slut

 

John laughed as he and Maria danced. Class had gotten out early that day due to the fact that it was Good Friday, so he had about three and a half hours before he had to pick up Phillip from school. Currently, he and Maria were dancing to Kendrick Lamar in her classroom, messing around and doing stupid dance moves. At one point, Maria started Fornite dancing at John, so he just T posed at her until they both started laughing. Dancing seriously all day was cause enough for them doing stupid shit in their classrooms afterward.

It had been about two months since the court case had ended. John hadn't talked to Alex, and Alex hadn't talked to John, but John was doing okay. He understood that Alex needed space, so John just left him alone. Phillip asked about Alex at least three times a week, but John had stuck to the story of Alex being sick. John had done his best to work through things on a low budget, which meant a lot of stupid self-help books that John now realized were actually not that stupid at all. He had the revelation that he couldn't be his best self if he was dealing with repressed trauma from his childhood, so he started keeping a journal (which he would never admit to anyone ever), and was in the process of figuring out what parts of him was actually him, and what was the effect his father had left on him.

John felt like he had improved, and he had tried to be more open and honest with his emotions. He was trying not to ignore them as much, which journaling really helped with. Of course, he was far from perfect, but he had made progress, and he had learned to be happy with progress, even if it was small.

His siblings were living well. His Aunt Gale had done a pretty good job explaining what happened, and why she was living with them. Henry got accepted into college, Mary and Jemmy were doing okay, Martha was getting prepared to move up to Massachusetts, and everyone was doing well. John was preparing himself for the six months of free rent to end by looking for other apartments that weren't as expensive as the one Alex had set them up in. John was happy that Alex had gotten his money back and more. He knew it was necessary, and he had no bad blood about that.

"So I was seeing this guy, right?" Maria started.

"Was?" John asked. "What happened? Was it Eric?"

"Yes," Maria continued, lifting herself up to her toes and spinning a bit. "Anyway, last night, we were hanging out, and he asked about my job, so I showed him some videos of you and me dancing, and he got  _ crazy  _ jealous."

"What?" John laughed.

"Yeah, I know right, like, uncomfortably jealous, and he wouldn't fucking drop it, so I just had to ask him to leave," Maria laughed. "Men are fucking weird."

"Girl, don't I know it," John laughed. He sighed when he heard his phone ring, walking over to where he had laid it on the ground and picked it up. "John here," he answered.

The voice on the other end was muddled by Maria’s loud music.

"Aye, yo, Mars! Turn that shit down! I can't hear whoever is on the other end!" John yelled.

"Did you call Kendrick Lamar shit?" Maria asked. "Boy, I'ma beat yo' ass!" She turned the music, grumbling to herself.

"A'ight, hello?" John started.

"Wow, two months go by and now you're actually beginning to talk like a New Yorker."

John stopped, tilting his head a little bit at the voice. "Alex?"

"Holy shit, is that Alex?" Maria gasped, coming over and placing her chin on John's shoulder so she could hear the conversation.

"Yes, it's Alex," John replied, laughing a bit. John nudged Maria away a bit, though he knew she would just come right back. "Uh, hey, Alex. Hi, hi, hello. How are you?"

"I'm doing well, how are you?" Alex asked.

"Oh, you know, just fuckin bitches, getting paid," Maria called out, laughing.

"Don't listen to her, she's an obnoxious freak," John spat out. "Sorry, I'm at work right now, but you're not bothering me 'cause it's good Friday, so classes were shorter and let out earlier, so I'm just fucking around and dancing until I have to pick up Phillip, which I don't have to do for another three and a half hours, so if you want to talk, I have time, if you want to talk-"

"John, take a breath," Alex chuckled. "Relax."

"Yes, yes, I can do that," John nodded, breathing in. "Okay, okay, I'm good."

Alex laughed a bit, sighing. "Hey, uh, do you maybe want to come over to my place to talk? I just got out of work, and I could be over there in ten."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be right there," John nodded. "Uh, see you soon."

"Alright, see you soon," Alex nodded, hanging up.

"Oh my God, you're going over to his house?" Maria asked.

John nodded. "I guess so. He said he's gonna be there in ten, so I gotta go. I love you, girl, I'll see you on Monday. Or Sunday if you wanna have a gossip session. I'm gonna go change, bye."

Maria kissed John's cheek. "Bye, hon, love you too."

John walked out of her classroom, changing into his skinny jeans and a tee shirt before going out to his car and beginning to drive to Alex's house. He felt a bit anxious, nervous almost. He hadn't seen Alex in a while and didn't know what to expect. He had changed in physical appearance since he and Alex last saw each other. His hair was shorter, still a fuckboy cut, and he had gotten another tattoo. It was the sign for the planet Pluto with a circle around it, right on his wrist. It was nice, quick, and he got it right before he picked Phillip up. He liked it and was feeling quite impulsive when he got it.

John pulled up to Alex's house, seeing that Alex's car wasn't in front, so he leaned his head forward on the steering wheel and closed his eyes. He was tired. He hadn't had enough coffee that day, and it had just been busy. He sighed as he tapped his fingers, listening to his car hum as it turned off. He sat there for a few minutes, trying to sleep while staying awake.

John jumped when he heard a tapping on his window. He sat up, then smiled when he saw an amused Alex standing outside his car. Alex looked good. He seemed to have gained a bit of weight, but not too much. Enough to make his stomach pudge out a bit, and his cheeks look a bit rounder. He looked more like he had when John had met him.

John smiled and got out of his car, stretching a bit and not missing the way Alex's eyes went to the bit of stomach that was revealed as he did so. "Hey, sorry, I was just resting my eyes."

"You look tired, John," Alex commented. "Nice tattoo."

John nodded, rubbing his eyes a bit. "Thanks. Yeah, I am. I just, I haven't had enough coffee today, I guess."

"Here, c'mon, let's go inside and I'll put some on," Alex nodded, bumping John a bit. "How was work?"

"It was fine," John mumbled. "Too short to really get anything done, but we reviewed some stuff. You?"

Alex pulled out his key to unlock the door. "It was as good as a day in the life of a politician can be." Alex pushed open the door and stepped inside. "Hey, are you-"

He was cut off but a voice coming from the kitchen. "Wassup, Alex?"

"How did she get inside of my house?" Alex mumbled, his eye brows shooting up.

John was confused as they walked into the kitchen, then jumped at what he saw. It was a woman, wearing nothing but a pair of red short shorts. She was sipping a smoothie, sitting at Alex's counter with the paper in front of her. She was tall, with defined muscle on her arms, and a slim yet buff build. Dark brown skin and loosely curled black hair falling around her shoulders. She was pretty, John couldn’t deny that.

"Hey, Angie," Alex nodded.

"Hey, ‘Lex. I know you," Angelica smiled, looking at John.

"Oh, uh, hi," John mumbled, averting her eyes from her chest.

"You wanna put on a shirt, Angie?" Alex asked, beginning to make some coffee.

"Not really," Angelica smiled. "John, sit down, I've heard so much about you. And your father, who has terrible taste in lawyers, by the way. You have become a subject of interest to me. What do you work as?"

John sat down awkwardly. "I'm a dance teacher."

"Flexible," Angie commented, leaning forward. "When did you meet Alex?"

"About a year and a half ago," John told her.

"You guys are coming up on two years of knowing each other," Angelica nodded. "Alex, he's cute. I don't know how you managed to get someone who's this cute. He's like, a New York nine and a South Carolina eleven."

"Blame my charm," Alex smiled sarcastically, pressing the start button and coming over next to Angelica to peek at the newspaper. "Rumors that I'm running for governor next election season are already flying around. Good." Alex looked at her. "Why are you here, anyway? Thought you were in Florida or something."

Angelica shrugged, looking around. "I came up here to visit Peggy but she's hanging out with Sally, and I didn't want to third wheel, so I came here. So, John, what brings you around these parts?" She asked, twirling her hair a bit.

"Uh, Alex invited me over," John mumbled, looking down at his hands.

"Alex said you have the best ass above fourteenth street," Angie stated bluntly. "Is it true?"

John's eyes widened and Alex's cheeks reddened.

"I think," Angelica mused, standing up. "That you are being shy because my chest is uncovered." She took a step towards John, running her hand along his thigh and walking behind him. Her hands went to his chest, and her lips pressed a small kiss to his neck. "Is this making you jealous, Alex?"

Alex coughed a bit. John, as much as he wanted to not like it, was put under a spell. Her touch was intoxicating, soft, and lustful. Her lips kissed just the right spots, and he found himself closing his eyes and relishing in it.

Angelica hummed, taking one of John's hands in her own and turning it over. "Big, like my fathers. You wanna have sex?"

John coughed. "With you?"

Angelica rolled her eyes. "No, with my father."

"Angelica," Alex said in a low tone, warning her to back off.

Angelica smiled looking up at Alex as one of her hands trailed lower on John's stomach. "Does it make you jealous, Alex? Do you not like it when I touch him like this?" She nipped John's neck, bringing a small sound from the back of John’s throat. "Do you not like it when I can make him moan?" Her hand began rubbing the space between John's legs. "Or does it make you hotter than a  _ bitch _ in heat?"

Alex swallowed thickly.

"Do you like seeing what John looks like, totally submitted to someone?" Angelica continued. She grabbed a handful of John's hair and pulled his head back, leaving lipstick marks on his neck. "Tell me, Alexander, did you forget what his body felt like? Or could you still tell me every little spot that brings those low sounds from his chest?"

"Fuck," Alex muttered, feeling his slacks become a bit too constriction for his comfort. The way she had John, so weak, so submitted it was hot, Alex couldn't deny that. He wanted to touch but felt like it wasn't time yet.

"And what about you, John?" Angelica asked. "Do you remember how to make Alex's knees go weak? How to make him cry out and beg? Do you remember how good he looks, come dripping down his chin, cheeks red, just so, so useable?"

John nodded. He knew exactly what Angelica was talking about. He could see Alex's cheeks heat up as they talked about him, and he didn't miss the way Alex's hands went to cover the front of his pants.

"I love fucking him until he cries, don't you?" Angelica asked.

John nodded. "My favorite part is when he begs."

"There we go, now we're getting somewhere," Angie confirmed. "Come on, what else do you like?"

"When he comes and he shakes, and he can't even speak for a second, and he just has to pant and recover," John explained.

"Look at him," Angelica smiled. "He's getting hard, and he looks so embarrassed." She laughed a bit. "He's a whore in the bedroom, don't you agree?"

"I do," John nodded. "He puts up a whole facade of being professional, but the moment you have him alone, he spreads his legs and begs for you to fuck him like the skank he is."

"Move your hands, Alex," Angelica commanded. She chuckled when he did, kissing John's neck again. "He's so hard for us. I wonder how bad he wants us to touch him."

"So bad," Alex mumbled.

Angelica laughed, squeezing John's growing bulge, bringing a moan from him. "What do you think, Johnny?"

"I think," John started, "we should take him upstairs and remind him of his place."

"I like it," Angelica nodded, moving away from John. "Let's go."

John stood up and grabbed Alex by the tie, dragging him upstairs. Angelica walked with him, whispering teasing ideas to John about what to do to Alex.

They all got to Alex's room, and the three of them resembled two vultures circling a rabbit. John sat down on the bed, leaning back a bit against the headrest and smiling at Alex a bit. Angelica sat down next to him, staring at Alex like a dog at raw meat.

"Strip," John commanded.

The voice was powerful enough that Alex began to undo his tie before the command even really set in. His white button-up shirt was off, then his white tee shirt. Dress Pants and boxers came off, and there he was, standing in front of Angie and John, totally bare.

"Come here, Alex," Angie commanded. "John, pull down your jeans and boxers."

John followed her instruction, pulling down his jeans to the middle of his thighs. Alex crawled onto the bed, whining a bit as Angelica grabbed his hair and yanked on it, pulling him towards John. Alex got the idea of what she wanted him to do, and gently lowered his head down, licking up the underside of John's erect dick.

"Ah, shit," John muttered as Alex's head went farther down. "God, yeah, fuck."

"Wow, he looks like a fucking slut," Angie laughed, pushing Alex farther down. "Are you a little slut for his cock? Huh? Look at you." Angelica pulled his head off, laughing at the way spit dripped down his chin. "Fucking whore, that's what you are." She pushed his head back down on John's cock. "Good boy."

John's hand went between Angie's legs, beginning to rub her bulge. She jumped at first, not quite expecting it. John looked over at her, moving his hand. "That good?"

She nodded. "Just didn't expect it."

John leaned in and began kissing her neck as he moved his hand back. She moaned lightly, running her hand through John's hair. She pushed Alex a bit further down on John's cock, moaning a bit more as John's hand slipped into her shorts and began to jerk her off. She tugged off his tee shirt, Alex taking a hint and pulling off John's pants. John helped him a bit, lifting his hips up as Alex pulled his jeans down.

"Fuck," John gasped as he got closer.

Angie pulled Alex's head off. "Hop on his dick, you fucking whore."

John moaned as Alex jerked off John's dick a bit more, straddling his hips. His view of Alex was blocked by Angelica straddling his chest and pulling her dick out, jerking it off a couple of times before putting it to John's lips. John propped himself up a bit more, taking her dick in his mouth and sucking it. He had never sucked a lady's dick before, but he thought of it as the best of both worlds. He was giving a girl a good time, and he had a pretty good idea of what her bodily anatomy was like so he could do his absolute best.

One of John's hands went to Angelica's toned, hard as steel ass, which he used to push her hips forward, while his other hand was placed on Alex's hip, pushing him down when he went up. John pushed his hips up to meet Alex coming down, causing sweet moans to come from Alex.

"Ah, yeah, shit," Angelica groaned as she pushed herself further into John's mouth, using his hair as a handle to move his head. "Yeah, there we go, just like that, gorgeous. Uh huh, yeah, that's right, fuck, yeah."

John hummed, making her gasp a bit and grip his hair tighter. John had never really been on the receiving side of dominance, but he didn't exactly mind it. That didn't mean he was about to let anyone top him or be dominate with him again, but trying it once wasn't always bad.

None of them wanted to relent and finish first. It was like a contest, but luckily, this was the exact kind of thing John was good at. His mind was in a totally different place, thinking about a dance routine he needed to work on. In his head, he saw every step and was able to hold out.

Alex was the first to come. He was moaning loudly, his hand jerking himself off as he stalled, coming to a rest with John's still erect dick in him. John didn't push him to continue, knowing Alex usually needed a bit of a recovery second before continuing. John felt Alex's warm come on his stomach, sliding down his sides and onto the sheets. The hand on Alex's hip stayed there, offering as much comfort as he could since he knew Alex didn't like to be alone after sex.

Angelica finished next, coming into John's mouth, much to John's displeasure. She got off of him and he sat up, grabbing a tissue from the nightstand and spitting into it before tossing it in the trash bin. Finally, John was left to focus on the one thing that really mattered. Alex.

The man was still sitting on his dick, moving his hips in little circles to offer some stimulation. John pushed himself forward, wrapping his arms around Alex's waist and burying his head in Alex's neck, planting an array of kissing there, occasionally nipping. Small whines escaped Alex as Angelica watched, satisfied with her work. She knew if they didn't have something to break the ice, nothing could get done, so now that they've had sex, it'll be easier to talk about things. Angelica knew that men were always at their most vulnerable after sex, and she knew it would be easier for them to let down their walls if they had just fucked, so she had planned this whole thing. The fact that she got off too was just a bonus.

"Fuck, yeah, there we go," John gasped as Alex began riding him again. Their chests pressed against each other, sweat dripped down John's back. They both had forgotten just how good the sex was, and boy were they glad to be doing it again.

"Ah! Shit! John!" Alex gasped, throwing his head back. Alex was getting close to his second orgasm, rolling his hips against John's dick, gasping for hair as John reached down to jerk Alex off. It was hot, sweaty, and nice.

"Fuck, you're so fucking beautiful," John mumbled against the salty skin on Alex's shoulder as he sucked a hickey into the skin.

"Ah, fuck!" Alex moaned, coming again onto them. It didn't take much longer for John to finish, gasping into Alex's skin as he filled the older man's ass. John was breathing heavily, his head against Alex's shoulder, trying to recover. Alex wrapped his arms around John's neck, rubbing his fingers through the short curls on top of John's head. Alex had his eyes closed and was swaying a bit, trying to stay away but finding it difficult.

"Tired, baby?" John asked softly, taking Alex's face in his hands.

Alex nodded.

"Alright," John chuckled, flipping them so Alex was lying down with his head on the pillow. John grabbed a tissue and wiped the both of them off before sitting up, smiling down at Alex softly. "Rest."

"Don't leave before I wake up," Alex requested tiredly.

"I have to leave in a bit to go pick up Phillip, but if you're not awake by then, I'll come up and say goodbye," John promised, leaning down and kissing Alex's cheek. Alex smiled, running his hand down John's chest softly. For a moment, John and Alex gazed at each other, only breaking out of their trance when the drawer of Alex's dresser screeched a bit, causing Angelica to look over at them with an apologetic look.

"Sorry, just need a tee shirt," she said softly.

John nodded and stood up, kissing Alex's forehead one more time before getting dressed again. Alex whistled when John had to jump a couple of times to get his jeans over his ass, earning himself a flip of the middle finger, which caused Angelica to laugh. John kissed Alex's forehead one more time, tucking the blankets over him before walking downstairs with Angelica. The coffee had been finished for a while, so John poured himself a mug of coffee and sat down at the counter, pulling out his phone.

"So..." Angelica started, getting some more coffee.

John laughed a bit. "You know, I honestly never thought I'd meet you, and then, I do, and ten minutes later, we're fucking."

Angelica smiled, sitting down next to John. "I have that effect on people. Tell me about yourself, John Laurens."

"I don't think there's much to know," John pointed out.

"Tell me about you and your dad," Angelica suggested. When John paused, she groaned, tilting her head back. "Come on, I worked that whole case, and I listened to Alex talk about you while drunk for a week. We have no secrets, Johnathan."

"Okay, how about you get to ask me a question, and I answer it honestly, but you have to answer my questions," John negotiated.

Angelica smiled. "Deal. Hold up, lemme get a cig." She stood up and walked over to her purse, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. "You smoke?"

John shook his head.

"Alright," she nodded, sitting down and lighting it up. "Why'd you help your dad steal Alex's money?"

"Uh, truthfully, I didn't, I just, I don't know how to explain this," John started. "My dad is probably one of my biggest fears in my life, and he manipulated me into it, and I really thought Alex wasn't gonna find out, and I thought my dad would pay him back, but that obviously didn't work out. The day after it happened, I tried to get my dad to give the money back, but he just, he didn't. But he does not control me anymore, I am my own person."

Angelica's eyebrows rose as she recognized what John was quoting. "I hated that book."

"It's tolerable," John chuckled. "Really trying to work past all this right now, get over the shit my dad put me through. Why'd you pick it up?"

"Foster parents. I was in the system for a while, until I was sixteen and made it into my dad's home," Angelica explained. "This was in the eighties, though, so the foster care system was a fucking joke. It still is, but, less of a joke I guess." Angelica took a hit off her cigarette. "You never told Alex you loved him."

John shrugged. "I don't like talking about my feelings. I'm trying to get better about it, but it's not easy when you've spent a lot of your life repressing them. I do..." John swallowed hard. "I do love Alex. I just, I gotta tell him."

"You got this," Angelica nodded.

"Alright, why'd you sleep with Alex when you knew he was with someone?" John asked.

Angelica rolled her eyes. "Since Alex doesn't like admitting his mistakes, I'll do it for him. He came onto me. He initiated the kiss, he was the one who took it further. I mean, no shit to him and Jay, but I don't think Alex had ever fully committed to that relationship. I mean, Alex had a marriage and a couple on the side flings going on anyway. You can't stretch yourself that thin. I loved Jay, and I told him he deserved better than Alex, and I was right. He did. He didn't get that though, but he did love Alex, and Alex loved him."

"Do you think Alex would do that with me?" John asked quietly.

Angelica shook her head. "Sobriety changed Alex for the better, John. A lot of his issues were caused by his alcoholism. That, and he really likes you."

John smiled a bit.

"Do you want to get back with him?" Angie asked.

John nodded. "I mean, only if he wants to get back together with me." John paused, thinking. "Does he?"

"I think he does," Angelica nodded. "I mean, he took all the photos of y'all down, but left the nails in the wall, which means he probably took them down knowing he was going to put them back up. That, and he still has a picture of the three of you as his computer screensaver."

John nodded. "Does he talk about me often?"

"Hold on, it's my turn to ask a question," Angelica laughed. "Did you ever tell Alex about the abuse your dad put you through?"

John shrugged. "I mean, Alex knows my dad has hit me, I just don't think he knows how many times. Not really, I guess. I never talked about it because I never really considered it abuse. A bunch of stupid self help books later and I realize I was wrong."

"You should tell him," Angie mumbled absentmindedly, taking another hit off her cigarette. "To answer your question, yes, actually. Usually, something will remind him of you and he'll say that and he'll get this small sad smile on his face." Angelica thought for a second. "He was pretty depressed when he realized you slept with that other chick."

"I figured if he could do it, I could too," John shrugged. "Her name is Martha, by the way. I've known her since college." John thought for a moment. "Is Alex still drinking?"

Angelica shook her head, flicking some ash onto Alex's counter. "No, no, he's not. Stopped after Washington came down. Just needed someone to snap him out of it. G-Wash snapped us all out of it."

"What? You mean to tell me you're not allowed to go to strip clubs on a work trip?" John asked sarcastically.

Angelica rolled her eyes. "You try reuniting with your military buddy and not going to party, kid."

"Don't call me kid," John mumbled.

"Dude, you're like, twenty years younger than me," Angelica stated. "I was getting my ID when you were born."

"I know, just, don't call me kid," John told her. "I'm an adult."

Angelica raised her brows. "Alright, you fully grown man."

John rolled his eyes, sipping his coffee. "What time is it?"

"It's like, two thirty," Angelica answered, looking at her acrylic nails.

"Mm, I gotta go in like, thirty minutes," John mumbled, sipping more of his coffee.

"To pick up Phillip, right?" Angelica confirmed.

John nodded, smiling a bit.

Angelica chuckled. "You know, I think the most annoying thing that Alex has been doing since you two broke up is talking about how much he missed Phillip, and the dog, Basil. I know a lot about your kid because Alex brags about him."

John perked up. "He does?"

"Hell yeah he does," Angie laughed. "According to Alex, Phillip is the next Van Gogh and smarter than anyone in the world."

John smiled a bit. "Feels like that sometimes. So, a lawyer?"

"Yup," Angie nodded. "Wanted to be one since I was a kid. Law always interested me. My father, at the time, didn't have enough money to send me through college, so I joined the army. My sisters, Peggy and Eliza, they got the better end of the stick, since his company took off right about the time Eliza turned fourteen and I turned twenty-seven. By then, I was just in the army. My contract hadn't expired yet, so I was just waiting."

"How'd you meet Alex?" John asked.

"I was in Washington's troop, and I was one of his best soldiers, too. It was me and Thomas, we were the originals. Jay showed up when he was eighteen, and he was a fun dude, and then a couple of years later, Alex is there. Of course, I knew him from Eliza, but that didn't mean I took it easy on him. He was a rascal and a bit stupid, but Alex has always been like that. No, the army was where I got to know Alex. I met him at Eliza's wedding, and they had been dating a few years before, so I knew he existed, but most of the time he was too busy fighting or fucking Eliza."

"That marriage wasn't healthy," John mumbled.

"Don't I know it," Angelica laughed.

"No one ever said anything," John pointed out. "I mean, no offense, but your sister beat the fucking shit out of Alex. He still has scars from that shit, and like, did you or anyone else ever say anything?"

Angelica sighed. "You know, I'm just gonna admit that me, and everyone else? We were wrong. It was the two thousands, people didn't take shit like that seriously. Alex deserved better, which is one of the reasons I never beat the shit out of him for cheating on my sister. I mean, no wonder the guy spent most of his time overseas. I would too. Jay was a good safe haven for him." Angelica thought for a moment. "Alex said you and him once got into a fight over me."

"Does he tell you everything?" John asked.

Angelica nodded. "He doesn't like being alone at night, so we call. What was the fight about?"

"I just, I was feeling scared," John mumbled. "I thought he was going to cheat on me, leave me, something. It's stupid now that I think about it, but-"

"I don't blame you," Angelica mumbled, taking a final drag off of her cigarette. And stubbing it out on the tiled counter. "I would be scared too."

John nodded. "When did you know you were a girl?"

"Wow, diving right into that," Angelica laughed. "I always knew. My dad was supportive, especially for the nineties, and did everything he could for me." She lit up another cigarette. "There are some assholes, but they don't bother me much. Usually, I can seduce their wives."

John chuckled a bit.

"So, tell me about your baby mama," Angelica smiled.

"Uh, she's great, really, she is," John nodded. "Uh, one of my best friends totally sees through all my bullshit. She's the only one who I've always been able to be vulnerable with, mainly because I can't lie to her. When she was pregnant, we lived together, and there wasn't much to do in a small apartment besides fuck and talk about our feelings." John laughed a bit, sipping his coffee. "She's sweet, just not mother material. It's okay though because she's still really there for me, and just, she's a wild card. She showed up at the house over Christmas, half drunk and ready to curse out my dad."

Angelica smiled. "She sounds awesome."

John nodded a bit, thinking. "She is. Why don't you settle down with someone?"

"Not my thing," Angelica shrugged. "I mean, I know people who I love, and I have a place to sleep in almost every state in America, besides Florida, because Floridians are too weird for me, but I just, I have friends, I have people who love me, I just don't feel like I need a relationship. Maybe I'll find someone eventually, but for now, I'm fine."

John nodded slowly. "What about Alex?"

Angelica tilted her head back, laughing big and loud. "Ha! The boy is not meant for me, but that doesn't mean I love him any less. He's one of my closest friends, but God, dating him seems boring. The moment Alexander gets domestic, he gets boring and lame."

John shrugged. "I think he's pretty cool."

"God, that's how I  _ know  _ you're in love with him," Angelica groaned, throwing her head back. "You're into that lovey shit, like mornings that don't end in rough and passionate sex. I don't get it. It's so boring to me."

"It used to be boring to me too," John nodded. "I had a fiance and I just, I should've known to not stay with him, because like, that shit made me bored too. I guess the first time I ever felt content with being domestic with someone was Alex."

"Gay," Angelica snorted. "Call me when he takes his pants off."

John rolled his eyes, smiling a bit. "Alex is certainly special."

"Don't I know it," Angelica agreed, blowing smoke out her nose.

"Talking about my greatness, I see," Alex laughed, coming downstairs. He was just wearing a pair of jeans and a tee shirt now, looking more casual. "Mm, coffee."

"Talking about how annoying you are, actually," Angelica laughed.

"Mm, yes, amazing how I can manage to pull off being annoying and amazing all at the same time," Alex smiled. "John, you might want to wipe the lipstick off your neck."

John's hand went to his neck, causing Angelica to laugh and pull out a makeup wipe from her purse, getting the lipstick off for John, then reapplying her own. John chuckled sheepishly, then jumped when he saw the clock. "Shit, I gotta go."

Angelica groaned, realizing she was either gonna have to get them to have sex again or they were just never gonna talk.

"Oh, uh, bye," Alex mumbled, looking down a bit.

John shifted on his feet, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, uh, bye, I guess."

Alex nodded, quite awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. John offered a bit of a wave to Angelica, then walked out of the house, causing Angelica to slap Alex on the back of the head, quite hard, if Alex were to say so.

"What was that for?" Alex asked.

"Go after him," Angelica snapped. "Love of your life just walked out the door and you didn't even kiss him. Go, spend the night at his house, spend time with his kid, talk with him."

Alex paused, thinking for a second, then got up, walking straight to the front door. "John!" He called out, walked up the steps to get to the sidewalk. John was standing outside his car door, but looked up when he saw Alex. Alex continued walking towards him. "Hold up a second."

"Did I forget some-"

John was cut off when Alex pulled him into a kiss. It was passionate, fierce, and oh so wonderful. John wrapped his arms around Alex's waist, pushing him against the car. Alex ran his fingers through John's short curled, pulling his head closer. John could've almost cried. He didn't want this moment to end, but of course, it did, leaving them breathless, staring into each other's eyes. 

"Do you want to come over for dinner?" John spat out.

Alex nodded. "Sure, yeah, sure, absolutely. I should probably, probably get some shoes on, but-"

"Oh, yeah, you should," John laughed, looking down at Alex's bare feet on the pavement.

"Yeah, just gimme like, two seconds," Alex requested, pecking John's lips on more time before running inside. "Angie! I'm staying at John's for dinner at least!"

"Good!" Angie replied. "I have my vibrator in my purse so I might just watch porn on your TV and jerk off."

"Don't get cum on my couch," Alex requested, slipping on his comfortable Birkenstocks. "Bye! Love you!"

"Love you too!" Angelica called back.

Alex exited the house, running back up to John's car and getting in the passenger side. John was already in the driver's side and began driving as soon as Alex was buckled. Alex chuckled a bit, looking down. "God, it's been a while since we've driven together."

John nodded. "It really has. Uh, how's work been?"

Alex shrugged. "Exhausting. We're coming up on the vote for the Parent And Child thing, so I'm preparing to sell my soul to the devil for the votes. And the thing is, all the money has been piling up in an account, so if you apart of the funding, you get all the money you should've gotten for the past eighteen months, that is if we pass it."

"That's really good," John nodded, smiling a bit.

"Oh, and, and, Thomas' homeless shelter passed, so that's good," Alex continued. "What about you?"

"A lot of my kids are going off to college, so I'm getting a lot of new students," John stated. "We had a recital about a month back, and we  _ killed  _ it."

"How's Phillip?" Alex asked.

"He's doing really well," John nodded. "He's still struggling in math, but I’m trying to help him, and I'm going to set him up with a tutor."

"That's good," Alex nodded. "And Basil?"

"Basil is still Basil," John laughed. "Goofy dog. I had to start running with him because he wouldn't leave me alone if I didn't."

"God, I need to start running," Alex mumbled, patting his stomach. "I gained back my take-out weight."

"Yeah, don't think I didn't see the inside of your fridge," John laughed. "You shouldn't be allowed to live alone."

"I should not," Alex agreed as John pulled into Phillip's school.

"He's gonna want to hug you, so let's just get out and wait for him," John mumbled, pulling up to the large brick building. John made sure he wasn't blocking any other cars, then got out with Alex, leaning against the car as they waited. John scanned the kids, thinking, his fingertips brushing Alex's. "He always comes out a little later because he likes to say goodbye to his counselor. You know, both he and Payne eat together in the classroom because Payne has OCD, and the classroom was stressing him out to a point where he would just eat in the bathroom, so I told James what Phillip does, and now the two eat together in the counselor's office. Ms. Robinson is a sweet woman."

Alex smiled, his fingers brushing John's hand. "I'm glad Phillip is happy."

John nodded, deciding to end the back and forth and just grab Alex's hand. "School is getting harder for him, I think. It's just really loud, too intense. He's really smart, he is, but he can't focus in a loud environment."

Alex nodded, thinking. "Well, maybe you can talk to his teachers about switching his class, or if he needs it, there's plenty of schools in Manhattan that can cater to his exact needs. Aaron was actually looking into a couple for Theo."

"She has autism?" John asked.

"Aspergers," Alex corrected. "She doesn't talk much, have you noticed?"

John nodded. "Phillip really likes her."

"They're gonna get married," Alex laughed a bit.

John rolled his eyes, smiling squeezing the older man's hand a bit.

"Alex!" A voice squealed.

"Here he comes," John smiled.

A few seconds later, Phillip had launched himself into Alex's arms, making the older man gasp. John offered a crooked half smile, placing his hand on Alex's shoulder. Alex closed his eyes, smelling the scent of coconut oil and green apple detangler that John used on Phillip religiously. He had to stop himself from crying.

"Come on, Pip, we gotta go, you can hug Alex at home," John said sweetly, rubbing his son's back.

"Alex is coming home with us?" Phillip asked, looking at his father.

John nodded. "Yup, and he's gonna have dinner with us and everything."

"Yay!" Phillip cheered.

Alex passed Phillip to John and John placed him in the car, marking sure he was all buckled up before getting in the driver's sad. Alex sat in the passenger's seat, leaning back and smiling as he watched John nod his head to the song on the radio and drive.

"Where were you, Alex?" Phillip asked. "My papa said you were sick, but then he told someone else that you were drunk but I don't know what drunk means."

John sighed. "Phillip."

"Well, remember how I told you I had my house unghosted and demonstered so it was safe?" Alex started.

Phillip nodded.

"Well, it wore off, and I needed to have it done again, but it takes a while, and I didn't want you to be attacked by monsters or haunted by ghosts," Alex continued. "I stayed back to make sure they didn't follow you guys."

"Nuh uh, because monsters aren't real. That’s not true," Phillip stated.

Alex looked at John, begging for help.

"I told you, Phillip, some people just need space sometimes. And monsters is easy to say than space sometimes," John inserted. "What do you want for dinner?"

"Tacos," Phillip answered.

"Does tacos sound good?" John asked.

Alex nodded. "Honestly, anything sounds good."

John nodded as they got closer to his apartment. "Alright, we gotta take Basil for a walk before we do anything though. I really hope he hasn't peed."

"Baby Basil," Alex smiled, leaning back.

They arrived at the apartment building relatively quickly, and Alex followed them upstairs to the apartment. John pulled out his keys, fumbling with them for a second before opening the door. Basil came bounding into the hallway, barking excitedly when he saw Alex. He jumped up on Alex, putting his paws on the man's chest and licking his face. Alex laughed, petting Basil, baby talking the dog.

"Who's a good baby? Who's a good little snuggle muffin?" Alex cooed, scratching the top of Basil's head.

"Basil, baby, come on, let's get some food in you before we go walking," John called out, clicking his tongue. Alex followed John into the apartment, looking around and nodding. He realized just how quickly John and Phillip adapted to a new place. It looked like they had been living there for years, though they hadn't.

"Looks homey," Alex commented.

John nodded, getting down Basil's bowl. "Phillip and I are good at making any place a home. We've lived in about twenty different places."

"Wow," Alex nodded.

"Pip, honey, what homework do you have?" John asked.

"I have math and reading," Phillip answered. "But it's Friday so I don't have to do any of it right now."

"You should get started on your reading though, Pip," John suggested. "What do you have to do?"

"I have to read a story and answer questions about it," Phillip stated.

"Okay, get that out and sit at the table," John told Phillip. "We'll do two questions, then take Basil for a walk."

Alex smiled, watching them go back and forth. He realized this is what it would've been like if he and John hadn't moved in together right away. Alex going over to John's apartment, listening to him and Phillip talk, being in a place that wasn't his house. It was odd, but not bad. Alex sat down on one side of Phillip as the kid pulled out a sheet.

"Alex, can you help him with that? I'm gonna pass out if I don't eat something," John mumbled, placing his hand on his head.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Alex nodded, trying not to stare at John's ass as the younger man bent over to look in the fridge. Alex tore his gaze away to look at Phillip's homework. "Okay, so, what does this say?"

Phillip looked it over. "Beth is... Beth is e..."

"Ex-cit-ed," Alex filled in.

"Beth is excited because to-mor-row is the one-hundredth day of... school," Phillip read, smiling when he got through the sentence. He continued reading, getting through the whole paragraph. It reminded Alex of when he would babysit kids in the projects to pick up some extra cash, and he would help them with their homework. Ironically, it’d helped Alex learned English.. He was still bitter over the fact that he had to learn English at all, but decided eventually that it was worth it.

"Okay, what day is Beth celebrating?" Alex asked, reading over the questions.

"The one-hundredth day of school," Phillip answered triumphantly, beginning to write. His handwriting was just like any other first graders handwriting, but somehow slightly resembled John's, since John had chicken-scratch handwriting. Alex wasn't much better, seeing as he wrote in Spanish and in cursive most of the time.

They made it through two questions, and both Basil and John had finished eating, so they went for a walk. John grabbed a few bags for when Basil inevitably took a shit, and the four of them began walking to central park. Alex held the leash and John's hand as they walked. It was a little chilly, so Alex had borrowed a hoodie from John, which smelt like pot and the deodorant John used.

They made it to central park, letting Basil off the leash for a little bit so he and Phillip could run around. Alex and John spent the time sneakily kissing each other, catching the other one off guard. It was sweet. Alex laughed as Basil began playing with Phillip, sneezing incessantly.

"You know, they sneeze so we know they're just playing," John said softly.

"Really?" Alex asked.

John nodded. "They sneeze to remind the other dog or whoever they're playing with that they're just playing, so not to take it too seriously."

Alex smiled, watching Basil roll onto his back and sneeze again. "Why are dogs so wholesome and perfect?"

"Because they just are," John laughed. "Perfect doggies."

Alex leaned up and kissed John's cheek quickly, causing the younger man's face to heat up a bit. John leaned over and pecked Alex's temple, just for some payback.

Eventually, Basil wore himself out, so they walked back to the apartment. John turned on some music and began cooking. He hummed along as Alex continued to help Phillip with his reading homework, and then a little bit of math before John called out that dinner was ready. John helped Phillip with his taco, and Alex made his own. John pulled out some milk for Phillip and asked if Alex would like something.

"Water is fine," Alex stated.

"A'ight," John nodded, filling up Alex's cup. He gave Phillip his milk, and Alex his water before turning to make his own taco and get a glass of iced tea. John finally sat down, bringing a snicker from Alex. "What?"

"My mother hasn't had a hot meal in seventeen years," Alex quoted.

John rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Alex took a bite, groaning a bit. "God, I haven't had a home cooked meal in... in months, actually."

"If you learned how to cook, you could have made yourself something," John pointed out, sipping his iced tea.

"Why would I need to cook when I could just spend my nights binging Hunan's Chinese food and watching the Netflix special about AOC?" Alex laughed.

"My queen," John chuckled.

"Are we all gonna live here, now?" Phillip asked.

"Phillip," John said with a warning in his tone.

“You never tells me anything," Phillip whined.

John closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. No parenting book every taught him about this, and he didn't have any more excuses. He could just tell Phillip the truth, but he didn't know how Phillip would react.

"John, can I tell him?" Alex asked.

"Yes," John nodded.

Alex sighed, thinking for a second. "Phillip, sometimes people fight, and they disagree, and they need to spend some time apart. It has nothing to do with anyone else, and it's just about people needing time to figure out their emotions. I know I've been gone for a while, but Papa and I just needed to figure some stuff out."

"You guys fought?" Phillip asked.

Alex nodded. "Most couples do. Neither of us handled it well, and we both needed to cool off, relax, and figure out how to move past it. I know it probably seems confusing, but I promise, everything is going to work out, things are just a little tangled right now."

"You still love us, right?" Phillip asked.

Alex felt his heart break a little bit. "Of course I do, Phillip. I never stopped, not even once. You guys were in my heart and my head every day."

John had to swallow hard at that one, blinking away tears. He wanted to cry. He wanted to hug Alex and cry, and cry. John stood up, mumbling something about needing to use the restroom. He went into the bathroom and splashed some water on his face, taking deep breaths. He just needed to keep it together until Phillip went to bed. He could do that.

At this moment, John was cursing how bad he had gotten at repressing his emotions. Personally, he blamed his feelings journal. The stupid mother fucker had taught him to acknowledge his emotions in a healthy way and to express them. Now, here he was, trying not to cry in front of his ex and his son.

John glared at himself in the mirror. "Pull it together, you stupid slut." He then remembered a self-help book telling him not to talk negatively about himself. "Sorry, I didn't mean to call you a stupid slut."

John sighed, shaking his head. He nodded at himself one more time, then walked back into the dining room, where Alex and Phillip were talking. John knew he was going to have to go  _ off  _ in his feelings journal when he got the chance, because man, he had a lot of feelings right now.

"Gimme a kiss," Alex requested.

John rolled his eyes, pecking Alex on the lips before continuing to eat. "Pip, tell Alex about your science fair idea."

"I'm doing a project on what floats, and what doesn't," Phillip explained. "Like, how sponges float but rocks don’t."

Alex nodded, smiling. "That's really cool, bud."

"You wanna see my project so far?" Phillip asked.

"After dinner," John reminded.

Dinner went by, and Phillip showed Alex his project, then the family sat down for a movie. Phillip, by the end of it, was half asleep, so John put him to bed, reading him a bit of Harry Potter, then handing Alex a pair of sweatpants to wear. They were too big on the older man. Alex didn't mind though, he was just happy to be out of his jeans. He sat back down at the kitchen table as John came back out, closing the door quietly. Alex tilted his head a bit to the side, smiling at the way a few curls fell in front of John's forehead.

"I'm gonna put some coffee on," John mumbled, smiling a bit. John got out the French press, then put on a pot of water to heat up. He measured out some coffee, dumping it in the French press before closing his eyes and leaning against the counter. He really did need coffee. He jumped when Alex touched his shoulder, but smiled when he saw the lopsided smile on the immigrant.

"Hey," Alex said softly.

"I want to be honest with you," John spat out. "No more lies, no more secrets, no more emotional walls."

Alex nodded slowly. "How are you going to do that? I mean, John, I can't be your therapist-"

John nodded. "I know, I know, which is why I've spent the last two months reading stupid self-help books and writing my emotions in a stupid journal."

Alex's eyebrows raised. "Really?That’s so good."

John nodded, reaching on top of the fridge for the books he read since it was the only place Phillip couldn't get to. He handed them to Alex, as well as the journal. "I went through this shit, took notes and shit like that."

"Adult Children Of Abusive Parents, How To Acknowledge And Express Your Emotions," Alex read allowed. "And a feelings journal, just like you said."

"I know, it's kinda stupid, but-"

"It's not stupid," Alex stated, looking up from the books.

John bit the inside of his cheek.

"Let's make a list," Alex started, finding a notepad on the kitchen counter and a pen. "What do we need to talk about?"

"My dad stealing your money and all that," John started.

Alex nodded, writing that down. "Uh, I'm gonna write down just your dad, because we need to talk about that too."

"You drinking," John pointed out.

Alex paused but wrote it down. "Martha."

"Martha my sister?" John asked.

"Martha your friend," Alex clarified.

"Alright, hold on, if you get to bring up Martha, then I get to bring up Angelica," John stated, not really knowing what he was gonna say when they got to that part.

Alex nodded, writing that down. "Uh, that's all I got for now, but if we think of anything, then we can write it down, yeah?"

"Oh, hold on, I got something," John said.

"Yeah?" Alex asked, looking up.

John tilted his head to the side a bit. "You outing me to my dad."

"When did I..." Alex trailed off, remembering the crude announcement he made at the end of the court session. "How'd you find out?"

"He called me up and yelled at me for thirty minutes. Write it down, please."

Alex wrote that down, feeling guilt set at the bottom of his stomach. "Is that all for now?"

John nodded, putting the books and journal back up on top of the fridge. "Here, let's just wait until the coffee is ready because I can barely function without it."

Alex chuckled and nodded, leaning his head against John's shoulder. Both of them closed their eyes for a moment, sighing as they waited for the water to boil. It didn't take much longer, and soon enough, John was pouring coffee, dumping a bit of cream into his before sitting down. Alex down in the chair next to John, turning so he was facing John. John sighed, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Come on, we gotta start this," Alex nodded, looking over the notebook. "Okay, can you tell me what the hell happened? I mean, I know what happened, but like, what happened in your point of view."

John nodded, taking a sip of his coffee. "You remember Christmas night, right? I came into your room at one point, and we made out for a bit, and then you were falling asleep, so I left?"

Alex nodded.

"Okay, so I was walking back to the living room, and I heard something in your office, and I assumed it was Basil." John looked over at the dog, who was fast asleep on the couch. "But, it was not. And, Alex, I told him to get out, I swear. I told him he shouldn't be in there, he shouldn't be looking for your passwords." John looked down, thinking. "Then he just, he told me what happened, and he told me that if it broke out because I didn't help him, the family would be torn apart again, and it would be my fault. I don't know, I was tired, I was scared, he's kinda terrifying. I gave him the password."

"Oh," Alex nodded.

"Alex, I felt so guilty. I didn't sleep, I was nauseous, I threw up a couple of times. It's why I was in such a shit mood that morning." John took a deep breath, trying to calm his pounding heartbeat. "You remember when you walked into our room and I was crying, right?"

Alex nodded.

"I had gone to my dad, I told him to give the money back. I kinda told him off, actually. I told him that he had no right to take your money, I told him that it was unjustified, I basically started telling him all the shit I kept to myself for my entire life." John paused. "Then he hit me."

"That dick," Alex growled.

"It's why I was crying, it's why I was so scared to do anything. I mean, most of my life my father has been my biggest fear," John explained. "I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to hurt my family, and he said he'd pay you back, and he said you wouldn't find out, and I trusted him, and I don't know why. The man's never said an honest thing in his life."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Alex asked.

"I was scared you'd be mad," John admitted.

"Hell yeah, I would've been mad. I would've been pissed, but at least I wouldn't have to spend two months wondering if you cared at all," Alex laughed bitterly. "John, even if your dad did pay me back, I would've known. I would've gotten a notification, an email, something. Or, I would've just been directly linked to the embezzling scandal, which, I was, actually." Alex sighed, taking a sip of his coffee. "But if you had just told me, John, I don't think we'd be having this conversation right now. I don't think half that shit that happened would've happened at all. Don't get me wrong, I would've been mad at you, but at least, at least none of this would've happened."

John nodded humbly. "I know. I should've been honest."

"I forgive you, though," Alex stated softly.

John looked up, not at all expecting what. "Why?"

"Because, as a rabbi told a very hungover me in South Carolina, forgiveness does not mean you will welcome them with open arms, it means you have moved past the pain they have caused you and rid yourself of the hurt they have burdened you with. The Lord will forgive you of your pain if you forgive those who have burdened you with it." Alex chuckled a bit. "He said whatever I did after forgiving people was my choice. I didn't, I didn't want to talk about this until I have forgiven you, and I had enough..." Alex thought for a moment. "Fuck, what's the word?"

"Which one?" John asked.

"Like, when you believe in yourself," Alex explained.

"Confidence?" John guessed.

"Yes!" Alex cheered. "Until I had enough confidence that I had forgiven you enough to talk to you in a mature way, because you know I can be a little bitch during arguments."

"Well I didn't want to say it, but..." John grinned.

Alex rolled his eyes, smiling and sipping his coffee. "Look, John, I just, I really like you, alright? Can we get that out of the way?"

John nodded.

"But I can't do this again, I can't, just, no more secrets. When you know something, something important like this, you tell me. I want to communicate with you, I want to understand and help, but I need you to be honest, I need you to work with me." Alex took John's hand. "We're a team, we need to act like it. I'm not against you, I'm on your side. You just gotta put a little faith in me."

John nodded. "I know, I know. One thing I have been working on is being emotionally vulnerable with people, and it's just, it's hard for me. I want to be honest with you, I don't want to have a repeat of this, and maybe, maybe I might need some personal space to think about something before I talk about it, but can you understand that?"

Alex nodded. "Just, no more secrets, John."

"No more secrets," John agreed. "Whatever you want to know."

Alex took John's hand and kissed his knuckles. "Can you tell me what the deal is with you and your dad? I mean, none of that looks healthy. Just, yeah."

John nodded. "Firstly, you gotta understand that I only recently had a big ol' realization about my dad and the shit he pulled. Uh, my dad and I were never really close, I guess. When my mom died, the parenting was really left up to me, and just, every mistake was my fault. My dad and I, we got into a lot of screaming matches, which usually ended with him hitting me."

"What?" Alex gasped.

"He didn't, he didn't beat me or anything, it was just a disciplinary slap to remind me where my place was," John explained. "He was manipulative, and just, he was scary. It's why I moved too far away as soon as I could."

"So, so why did you just let him back in your life?" Alex asked.

"You're going to laugh at me for this, call me stupid or something," John chuckled bitterly, shaking his head a bit. "He said he was proud of me."

"But why did you..." Alex trailed off, thinking. "Had he ever said that to you before?"

"No," John confirmed. "No, he hadn't. The fact that he just, he, I don't know. I was blinded. I thought he had changed, which is such bullshit because people like him don't change. I was stupid."

Alex squeezed John's hand. "I think you just wanted to believe he was proud. I mean, as someone who had no stable father figure for a really long time, I know that shit can affect you. I think the first time someone told me they were proud of me, it was the owner of this bodega in Chicago. He had his store set up in the project's housing, and I was talking to him, and I just let it slip that I had won this online writing contest, and he said he was proud, and I think I almost started crying. That shit affects you. People like to be appreciated, validated, loved, especially by your parents."

John nodded. "At least he's gonna be in jail for the next fourteen years."

"Oh, yeah, how are you doing with that?" Alex asked. "I mean, he is still your-"

"He's dead to me," John spat out.

Alex was a bit taken aback by that statement.

"He destroyed my childhood, spent years making me feel like shit, he abandoned me, he hit me, he ruined my relationship." John shook his head. "He's dead to me."

"He didn't ruin your relationship," Alex mumbled softly, playing with John's fingers.

"Came pretty fucking close at least. Way to close for me to ever forgive," John pointed out.

"Okay, that's true," Alex nodded. "But, he didn't do it all the way."

John shook his head. "No, he didn't." John closed his eyes, feeling that familiar sting that always happened right before he cried. "I just, I feel so used. Alex, I really never wanted to hurt you, and I'm really sorry. I'm just, I'm so sorry." John bit his lip as tears filled his eyes. "I didn't, I didn't want this to happen. You don't deserve this, you really don't, and I-" John was cut off when he hiccupped.

"Hey, John, hey," Alex mumbled softly, pulling John closer.

"I'm just, I missed you, and I-"

"Papa?"

John sighed, sitting up and wiping his eyes. "Phillip, go back to bed."

"But Papa, why are you crying?" Phillip asked.

"Phillip-" John stopped, feeling his heart pound. He had been in this situation before. His eyes went to Alex, who didn't understand why at first.

It took Alex a second to realize that this was probably what happened with Francis. He saw the worry in John's eyes, so he patted John’s hand and picked Phillip up. "Can't sleep, buddy?"

Phillip shook his head. "Why is my papa crying?"

"Because he missed me, and I missed him, and sometimes you just need to cry," Alex answered softly. "Here you sit with him, I'll make you a sleepy-time drink." Alex set Phillip on John's lap. "Do you have honey and cinnamon?"

"Top shelf in the first cabinet for both," John answered.

Alex nodded, pulling out the milk and grabbing the honey and cinnamon. He poured milk into the pot John used to boil the water, then stirred the milk until it was warm. He added a bit of honey and a sprinkle of cinnamon before dumping it into the mug. "Here you go, buddy."

"Can you and my papa sing to me?" Phillip requested as John stood up, Phillip on his hip. "Please?"

John made eye contact with Alex. "If you want."

Alex nodded. "What songs do we both know?"

"Uh, Home by Edward Sharpe?" John asked.

Alex nodded and smiled, walking into the room with John. Phillip was set on the bed, sitting up and John tucked the blankets over his son's legs. Alex pulled up a small stool that was in the room, sitting on it. John sat on the floor, leaning against Alex's legs, taking a deep breath.

"You start," Alex told John.

John nodded and began singing. "Alabama, Arkansas. I do love my ma and pa, not in the way that I do love you."

Alex continued it. "Holy moly, me oh my, you're the apple of my eye. Boy, I've never loved one like you."

John smiled. "Man oh man, you're my best friend. I scream it to the nothingness. There ain't nothing that I need."

Alex ran his fingers through John's hair. "Well, hot and heavy, pumpkin pie, cotton candy, Jesus Christ, ain't nothing please me more than you."

They both joined into together, smiling as Phillip nodded along, sipping his drink. "Ah, home. Let me go home. Home is wherever I'm with you. Ah, home, let me go home. Home is wherever I'm with you. La, la, la, la, take me home. Baby, I'm coming home."

Alex began this time. "I'll follow you into the park, through the jungle, through the dark. Boy, I never loved one like you."

John laughed a bit, reaching up and patting Phillip's leg. "Moats and boats and waterfalls. Alleyways and payphone calls. I've been everywhere with you."

"That's true," Alex said before beginning to sing again. "Laugh until I think we'll die, barefoot on a summer night, never could be sweeter than with you."

"And in the streets, you run a-free, like it's only you and me. Geez, you're something to see," John sang softly, watching Phillip finish his drink and lie down, closing his eyes a bit.

Both John and Alex began singing again. "Home, let me go home. Home is wherever I'm with you. Home, let me go home. Home is wherever I'm with you. La, la, la, la, take me home. Baby, I'm coming home."

"John," Alex whispered, seeing as Phillip was almost asleep.

"Alexander," John replied with a bit of a tune.

"You remember that day you fell out of my window?" Alex asked.

"I sure do, you came jumping out right after me," John laughed.

"Well, you fell on the concrete, nearly broke your ass. You were bleeding all over the place and I rushed you to the hospital, you remember that?" Alex continued.

"Yes, I do."

"Well, there's something I never told you about that night," Alex smiled softly.

"What didn't you tell me?" John asked.

"While you were sitting in the backseat, smoking a cigarette you thought was going to be your last, I was falling deep, deeply in love with you, and I never told you until just now," Alex chuckled.

John didn't finish, just tilted his head up a bit to look at Alexander. Alex sighed, placing his hand on John's cheek, staring into his eyes that just barely shone in the dim light of the room. Alex sighed, leaning down and kissing John's forehead.

"Pip's asleep," John mumbled, standing up. He grabbed the empty mug walking out of the room, Alex trailing behind him. John rinsed the mug, then placed it in the dishwasher before sitting back down. "Where were we?"

"You were finishing up telling me about your dad," Alex stated.

"Ah, yes, I was crying," John chuckled, sighing.

Alex scooted his chair close to John's. "You didn't deserve any of that."

"I never wanted to hurt you, and I would take it all back if I could," John promised.

"What done is done, I don't want to dwell, I want to heal," Alex stated.

"Next thing?" John suggested.

"Next thing," Alex nodded. He looked up, his eyes scanning the notepad. "Martha."

"We hooked up like, once two months ago when you were hooking up with Angelica," John explained.

"Do you have feelings for her?" Alex asked.

"Nope. Never have, never will," John shrugged. "Alex, Martha and I have always been just friends, I promise, you really don't have to worry. I mean, she was the one who sat with me in bed and told me to grow a pair and apologize to you. She knows I like you, and she wouldn't do you dirty like that. She thinks you're cool, Alex."

"Really? You guys fucked, and then you talked about your relationship problems?" Alex asked, obviously not buying it.

"Yup," John nodded. "It's just like how you and Angelica fucked, and then were just casual afterward. Do you have feelings for her?"

"No, she's like, my best friend," Alex explained.

John rolled his eyes, tilting his head back. "Martha to me is Angelica to you."

Alex thought for a moment, then slowly, his eyes widened, his jaw falling slack a little bit. " _ Oh _ . Okay, okay, now I get it. Okay, okay. Next on the list is Angelica, but I feel like you said that just because-"

"I did," John nodded.

"Okay, we skipped over my drinking, but let's hit it now," Alex nodded.

John took Alex's hands, looking him dead in the eye. "Alexander Hamilton, when was the last time you had a drink?"

"Two months and one week," Alex answered.

"And when is the next time you will drink?" John asked.

"Never ever again," Alex promised.

John kept eye contact with Alex, thinking. "I care about you very much Alex, and there are a lot of things I will do for you, but I will not expose my child to an active alcoholic. You need to swear to me, on your mother's grave, that you will not pick up another drink."

"On my mother's grave, I will not pick up another drink," Alex told John.

"I'm trusting you on this Alex, and no more secrets, on either side. If you slip up, okay, but the moment you stop trying, I'm gone," John stated.

"Understood," Alex nodded.

John gently leaned in and kissed Alex's cheek. "I think I should probably stop drinking so much too. I'm not twenty-five anymore."

"We can just smoke weed together," Alex laughed.

John nodded, smiling.

"Okay, final thing for now," Alex mumbled. "Me outing you."

John nodded, looking at Alex. "A very gorgeous man once told that what's done is done, and it's better to heal than to dwell, but I want you to know that I felt really hurt by that. I would've understood if you’d spilled some family secrets, because you know them, Alex, but this was too far, and I really wish you hadn't done that."

"He called you up just to yell at you?" Alex asked, feeling guilty.

John nodded. "The last conversation I ever had with my father, he called me disgusting, foul, and an embarrassment to the family." John sighed. "The funny thing is, he called me similar things when I told him about Phillip."

Alex's brows creased. "He did?"

“And I was so happy when I went to tell him, too," John laughed. "I don't think I ate for like, three days after that. I really just need to learn to stop buying into his bullshit."

"Well, just for the record, when he gets out, I'm putting a restraining order on him, and I think you should too," Alex mumbled.

"I probably will," John agreed. "When he gets out, Mary will be my age. Marty will be working, Henry will be an English teacher for the deaf most likely, a writer in his free time. Jemmy will live in a group home, probably spend his days doing art, and Mary will live in a group home."

"Aren't those places like, depressing?" Alex asked.

John shook his head. "Since Henry wants to live in Vermont, Martha will be in Massachusetts, and I'll be here, we're gonna find homes up here so we can visit. My Aunt Gale, she knows a lot of good places. She's the one who's watching Henry, Jem, and Mary now. She's my mom's sister, really sweet. You'd like her."

"Your sister hates me," Alex pointed out.

"I know," John stated. "She called me and told me about when you two saw each other at the cafe. Oh, also, you know all the money you're getting from my dad?"

Alex nodded.

"Well, cool fact about that, it's coming from only my father. All the money my mother put away for us, and all the money she had, he can't touch. Then, since my father is going to be in prison for a while, my Aunt Gale will have full access to the money he has left, which will be a fair amount, so she can use it to take care of my siblings."

Alex smiled. "I'm glad this shit isn't like, hurting your family."

"Marty was gonna leave in a few months anyway, Henry didn't even  _ like  _ my dad, Jem didn't really know him, and he never even talked to Mary." John paused, thinking. "Wow, that's a lot of emotional neglect."

"Your aunt is good though, right?" Alex asked.

"Very good," John nodded.

Alex smiled. "Do you wanna go sit on the couch? It's more comfortable."

John nodded and the two of them made their way to the couch. John sat down, smiling as Ale sat facing him, smiling a bit. John couldn't help but lean forward and pull Alex into a kiss. Alex smiled, greeting the kiss with much joy. John laid back, pulling Alex on top of him, kissing him. The two felt like they had been missing a part of themselves for so long, but were finally whole again. John couldn't stop kissing Alex, it was addicting. It was obviously not leading to anything else, because the two just wanted to be there, with each other.

John laughed a bit as Alex nipped on his lip. They were getting sloppy, but neither of them cared. Their kisses were never perfect, never movie ready; they were messy, occasionally awkward, but loving. John tugged gently on Alex's hair, pulling his face closer. Oh, how he had missed the feeling of that rough goatee rubbing against his upper lip, the way the scars on Alex's cheek felt under his hand, the taste of his lips, which was always coffee and the slightest taste of mint gum.

"No secrets, right?" John asked, looking up into Alex's brown eyes.

Alex nodded. "No secrets."

John sighed, leaning up and kissing Alex again. "I'm in love with you." John frowned a bit at Alex's surprised face. "And You don't have to say it back, you don't even have to feel that way, but- I just- we said no secrets, and-"

"Shut up," Alex whispered. He pulled the younger man into another kiss. "No secrets, no bullshit, I'm in love with you too.

John smiled, feeling his cheeks heat up. He pulled Alex into a tight hug, burying his face in the man's neck. He smelled good. He smelled like home. 

  
  
  



	31. When God Creates Monsters Out Of Men

John walked down the street to meet Martha at the corner of Joralemon and Court street. It was early, about ten thirty am. Phillip was at Alex's office, since John let him have the day off school. John, deciding he had too much to do today, had taken the day off work. It had been a few weeks since he had talked to Alex, and they were getting better. No talk of moving in yet, but they were taking it slow.

John showed up to the corner, finding Martha standing there. Her hair was pulled back, and she was wearing some tight olive colored jeans, and a loose black hoodie pushed up to her elbows. She looked up at John, smiling. He nodded, holding up the frappes he had gotten the two of them. He’d gotten himself mocha, and her strawberries and cream since he knew it was her favorite.

"Hey, where the hell’ve you been? I been texting you 'n shit for the past three weeks," Martha mumbled, smacking John's shoulder as she took her drink.

"My bad," John replied.

"Not cool, dude," Martha stated. "It's kinda important."

"Well, why didn't you tell me it was important?" John asked as she pulled him across the street. Someone was yelling on the street corner standing outside the Planned Parenthood.

Martha reached up and smacked John on the back of the head, stopping and turning to face him. "Boy, you think I didn't? I told you in ever text that it was important and I get brushed off for Alex? I get it, you missed him, but I have been there since day one. I feel like one hour with you is not a lot to ask."

"My bad, my bad, girl," John nodded. "I ain't been a good friend. You mad?"

"Yeah, I'm mad, John, I've been freaking out for three weeks!" Martha deadpanned. She was about to say more, but the protestor began yelling at her, something about murdering a baby. "Excuse me, I'm tryna have a conversation with my friend." She turned back to John. "I needed you. Don't go pullin' this shit again, a'ight? It ain't cool."

John nodded. "I gotchu. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."

"What’re you, ten?" Martha laughed.

"Yeah, I talk too much. I don't actually hope to die," John nodded, laughing a bit.

"God, you sound like a New Yorker more and more every day," Martha chuckled.

"So wait, what’re we here for?" John asked, looking at Martha.

She groaned, grabbing John's wrist. "C'mon."

"You're killing an innocent life!" The protestor yelled. "At two weeks your baby can feel pain! At three weeks your baby had a heartbeat!"

"Go to health class," Martha snorted, rolling her eyes at him.

He reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her towards him a bit Martha's eyes widened in fear. "You're a baby killer! You-"

He was cut off by the entirety of John's frappe being dumped on him. All twenty ounces of the cold drink spilled over the man's face and torso, causing him to let go of Martha. John got close to him, fists clenched, anger in his eyes.

"Don't you touch her." John commanded. "She ain't got no obligation to listen to you or your propaganda! You’ve got no right to be comin' around here and yelling at these women! You got no right to act like you're better than them! No one gives a shit what you say, dude! You're just the crazy asshole yelling on the street that everyone rolls their eyes at! You don't know my girl, you don't half the women in there, so don't act like whatever they're doing is unjustified! Ain't no woman need to carry around a baby that she doesn't want to have! You're just a dick! You ain't got no brains, you ain't got no dignity! You stay away from my girl and you stay away from here!"

The man, obviously not expecting John to blow up like that, scuttled away like the beetle he was.

"John," Martha said softly.

John turned to her, gently holding her wrist. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," Martha mumbled, pulling him inside. "It just scared me."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have blown up at him, it probably didn't help," John admitted, sitting down next to her.

"No, it did help," Martha chuckled. "You went all papa bear."

"Honey," the receptionist called out. "Do you need some ice?"

"Oh, no thank you," Martha replied. "I'm okay."

"Lemme tell you somethin' though, if anyone ever does shit like that again, they gon' be lucky if I just dump my drink on them," John nodded. "I mean, ain't no man got the right to come in here and tell you how to live your life. Personally, I don't know why we're here, because you bein' all mysterious and shit, but if you need someone to be there with you to get an abortion, then you know, I'm your guy, I'm your dude."

Martha rolled her eyes. "I'm not getting an abortion."

"You mean the crazy guy yelling at you on the sidewalk was  _ wrong _ ?" John asked sarcastically.

Martha rolled her eyes, smacking John's arm. "I don't even know why I'm friends with you sometimes. You're the definition of a stupid New York  _ man _ ."

"You just bring that out in me, baby," John nodded.

"Does Alex have to deal with this shit?" Martha asked.

"Alex likes it," John chuckled.

"Oh, for sure?" Martha laughed. "I don't think he knows this stupid side of you. I think the only stupid thing of yours he likes is that stupid thick ass."

John snorted. "I mean, yeah, you right though."

Martha pouted, taking John's chin between her thumb and forefinger. "Why are all the thick assed feminist men dating other men? You could have so much potential if you leaned more towards the ladies than the fellas."

"I know, right," John nodded. "Sorry, the love of my life has a goatee and a penis."

"Still can't believe you're dating someone with a goatee," Martha commented. The doctor called her name and the two of them got up, following her into the back room. "I mean, John, I could get if you dated another rat stache like yourself, but a goatee? Doesn't it feel weird when he like, you know, goes down on you?"

"Actually, it kinda tickles, so I just laugh a lot," John commented as they stepped into the office.

"Well, hello you two," the doctor smiled. "Hello Martha, how are you feeling?"

"Hey, Dr. Baptiste, I think I vomited like, four times this morning," Martha groaned, sitting up on the table and lying back.

"’Ey, you got the flu? I mean, I don't think Planned Parenthood covers shit like that, but I don't know," John shrugged. "I don't come here often."

"You haven't told him?" The doctor asked.

"Told me what?" John asked.

Dr. Baptiste chuckled, pulling an ultrasound machine close. "Alright, Martha, shirt up."

Martha pulled her shirt up to just below her chest. John's eyes widened when he saw the small little bump, low on her stomach. Martha had always had a toned stomach, skinny waist, wide hips, and thick thighs. John was surprised to see the bump, and he knew exactly what that was.

Dr. Baptiste squired some gel onto Martha's stomach, then used the sensor to move around her stomach. Then John saw it. He couldn't miss it. It was a smudge of white, in its own little bubble. Just barely could he see the shape of a child taking form. He sat there for a moment, staring. Then he looked to Martha, then the doctor, then back at the screen.

"So, Dr. Baptiste, this is Daddy," Martha stated. "This will be the  _ second  _ child I'm having with him because he has  _ no _ idea how to use a condom. He did go to Catholic school, but seeing as this is his  _ second  _ time getting a girl knocked up- the same girl, might I add- you would think he would have known."

"Wait, wait, this is mine?" John asked.

"You were like, the first man I slept with in months, all my fuck buddies are girls. Plus, I specifically remember that you jizzed inside me, because my pH was off, and I smelled bad down there afterward," Martha explained. So, what? You want it or what? I can still get this thing out of me, but it's up to you."

"Oh? You're the one choosing?" The doctor asked, looking at John.

"Nah, nah, I just, uh..." John trailed off. "I mean, Martha, you know, you know I'm down to like, have another kid, but I don't want you to carry a kid if you don't want to. It ain't gon' kill me if you get an abortion, because you know, do whatever you want. But if you're making your choice based off my opinion, then yeah, I would like to keep it, but only if you're down, I ain't the one making this choice, so whatever you choose is fine, and I'm going to respect it. But again, if you wouldn't mind keeping it, you know you ain't got no obligations after it's out, because I know parenting is not your thing. So, like, I would like you to keep it, but in the end, it's totally up to you."

"You pinky swear you ain't gonna ask me for anything when this shit's done?" Martha asked. "I mean, John, I love you, but I'm an art major with four roommates. I have no money."

"I swear. But oh, there is something I wanna do different this time," John stated.

Martha groaned.

"Nah, you know how you got breast milk? I know you just pumped it out and gave it to your weird roommate who was into that shit, but like, maybe this time could I have it? You know, for the baby," John mumbled, looking down.

"Alright, I can do that, but you are supplying the pump and bottles," Martha made clear. "You got like, a sugar daddy and shit, and I'm livin' as a black artist in Brooklyn."

"Bein' broke, that ain't no joke," Dr. Baptiste mumbled.

Martha nodded, laughing. "A'ight, a'ight, I see you."

"So, wait, wait, hold on," John started. "You're keeping it? I'm gonna have another kid?"

"Yeah, that's what you want, and I don't mind, after this I basically never have to buy you a gift ever again," Martha shrugged.

John smiled, laughing a bit. "Wow! Okay! Okay, okay, I'm calm, I'm chill, I'm cool, I'm cool, it's calm. It's all calm."

Dr. Baptiste laughed a bit. "So Martha, it's time to start taking more pregnancy vitamins, now that we know you're going to keep it. Now-"

She was cut off by John's phone ringing. John smiled sheepishly, pulling it out. "It's Alex."

"Take it," Martha laughed. "No phone sex, though, don't take too long."

John rolled his eyes, picking up and pressing the phone to his ear. "Hey, babe."

"Love of my life, I feel as though you've lost track of time," Alex chuckled.

"Maybe. Have I? What time is it?" John asked.

"Eleven, when we were to meet all at my office and go out for lunch," Alex laughed.

"Oh, shit, yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can, I'm sorry," John apologized.

"Don't worry, baby," Alex smiled. "I'll see you soon. I love you, John Laurens."

"I love you too, Alexander Hamilton," John smiled. He hung up, then looked up guiltily at Martha. "So, uh, turns out-"

Martha rolled her eyes. "None of this shit is important to you anyway. Hey, I'm gonna come over tomorrow, we're gonna talk more, figure this shit out, alright? We're gonna talk more."

"My schedule is already cleared," John nodded, leaning in and kissing her cheek. "Okay, we're gonna talk about this, get shit cleared up. I'll pay you back for the vitamins and shit, just keep the receipt."

"M'kay." Martha nodded, reaching over and grabbing a handful of condoms from the counter. "Take these, you need them. So, so much. I love you."

"Love you too," John smiled, shoving the condoms into his pocket. "Dr. Baptiste, I'll be seeing more of you, I assume. Alright, Martha, I'll be home about three tomorrow, you know where I live, you know where I keep the extra key if I'm running late. Help yourself to whatever."

"See you tomorrow," Martha chuckled. "Bye."

"Bye," John nodded, kissing her cheek once more before leaving the room. John jogged down the streets of Brooklyn, making it to the subway station. He caught the train just in time, jumping through the door, just barely avoiding getting crushed by the door. He breathed heavily, standing by a pole and gripping it a bit. He pushed a few curls off his forehead, making a mental note to buy some hair gel.

John looked down, smiling a bit as he thought. He was going to have another kid. Another child. His own. He felt his heart swell, already so in love with whoever this child was going to be. Already so happy. He was ready to have another kid, ready to welcome that love and positivity into his life. Was it a surprise? Yes. Would he have  _ chosen  _ to have a child at this exact moment? Probably not, but John had enough love in his heart. Things were good. He had done this before and could do it again.

He arrived in downtown Manhattan in another ten minutes, jogging to Alex's work. The New York heat was blaring against him since it was almost May. April was coming to an end, and it was getting hotter. John regretted the flannel he had thrown on over his white tee shirt and tied it around his waist as he waved to the receptionist, getting into the elevator and making his way up to Alex's office.

"There he is!" Alex smiled, looking up from his laptop.

"Papa!" Phillip smiled, getting up from the couch.

"Hey, buddy," John smiled, planting a big kiss on Phillip's cheek. "How are you doing? How's your day been?"

"It's been awesome! I gotta watch cartoons, and then Alex and I got uh, Alex, what is it called?" Phillip asked.

"Sicilian granita," Alex answered. "Otherwise known as Italian ice, but I've always preferred to call it Sicilian granita because that is the name immigrants gave it. Are you ready, baby? We could get hot dogs, pretzels, ice cream, tacos. I don't care."

"All of that sounds great," John agreed. "Hey, can I talk to you real quick though? I gotta tell you something."

Alex paused. "Something good?"

"Something really good," John nodded, smiling. "Pip, baby, could you give us a second? We'll be right out, alright?"

Phillip groaned. "Fine."

"God, he's growing up," John mumbled as he watched Phillip walk out of the office and sit on one of the benches outside. "Okay, okay, so, I don't exactly know how you'll take this."

"Oh?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, yeah, but before I tell you, I wanna let you know two things," John started. "Firstly, I just found this out like, fifteen minutes ago, alright?"

"Yeah, alright," Alex nodded.

"Secondly, I'm like, really happy about this, and I want you to know that I don't plan on doing this without you, and I want you to be with me, and I want to be with you, and I want to do this together. I don't want to do it alone, I want to be with you." John came around and pulled Alex out of his chair. "I love you."

"I love you too," Alex nodded.

John leaned in, pecking Alex's lips. "Okay, well-"

There are times in life when everything slows down. Seconds before pure terror rips through you, time seems to pause for a second, and forever. John could see the way pink painted Alex's cheeks. The way his lips curved upwards. The air smelled like the city streets below them. The room was cool though, comforting. John knew he heard the faint sound of Puerto Rican radio, which was coming from the radio up on top of the big closet full of work stuff Alex had in the corner of his office. John could feel Alex's rough hands in his.

And then he felt nothing.

The room was dusty when he opened his eyes. Something wet was covering the floor, pressing against the side of his face. His ears were ringing. He coughed, and his whole diaphragm seemed to give out. He was lying on the floor, he knew that much. He tried to push himself up, but something sharp dug into his arm, and he fell back down.

"John, wake up, wake up, you need to wake up."

Alex's voice seemed far away, but it forced John to open his eyes. He could see Alex's face, blood running down the side of it. Alex was worried, he looked scared.

"Alex, what happened?" John choked out.

"A bomb went off," Alex answered quickly. "You need to get up, you need to get Phillip."

"Oh my god, Phillip," John gasped, pushing himself off the floor. He wiped the blood off the side of his face, cringing when he brushed over a large cut on his cheek. He pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, pulling away when he realized the cut went all the way through. Blood and bits of glass were in his mouth, and he began spitting them onto the carpet.

"John, do you know how to work a gun?" Alex asked.

John shook his head, still out of it.

"Alright." Alex went into the closet he had in his office, pulling out a gun and placing it in the waistband of his pants. He also pulled out a switchblade, putting it in his pocket. He grabbed a first aid kit, handing it to John as they exited the office. The windows were blown out, glass was everywhere.

"Phillip?" John croaked out.

"Shit," Alex gasped.

John spun to look where Alex was looking and screamed at what he saw. Phillip was lying, partially covered by drywall, unconscious. But that wasn't what made John scream. What made John scream, was the pool of blood surrounding his child, and the fact that the bottom half of Phillip's left leg wasn’t there anymore.

"Fuck," Alex breathed, yanking off his white button up. He quickly tore off both sleeves, tying one tightly around Phillip's thigh. The rest of the shirt went around the gushing wound, being tied there so it stayed. Blood leaked through quickly, causing John's heart to speed up. Alex looked at the man, groaning a bit when he realized John was going into shock. "John? John, listen to me, I need you to stay with me."

John didn't respond. He stared at nothing, Alex’s words hardly registering at all.

Alex sighed, standing up and grabbing John by the collar of his shirt. In a few seconds, Alex had pulled back and slapped John's cheek, the one that didn't have the gash.

John gasped, the sharp pain sending him hurtling back into reality, and bringing his hand to his cheek.

"John, I need you to take Phillip and the first aid kit up to the roof," Alex stated, looking over John's shoulder to see Washington and Thomas dashing around, looking for survivors. "I gotta help people get up there, okay? Just, you gotta go, up to the roof. Take the stairs."

"Shouldn't we leave the building?" John asked as Alex handed Phillip to John, as well as the first aid kit.

"No," Alex answered. "I've seen this before. There's a second bomb, and if we all go downstairs, it's going to go off, and we are going to die. Go to the roof, stay on the edge."

John nodded slowly, taking sobbing breaths as he jogged to the door to the stairway. He made his way up, just like Alex said, bursting onto the roof. He went to the edge, setting both an unconscious Phillip and a first aid kit down in his lap. He leaned over the side of the building, Phillip clutched close to his chest, and looked down. There were first responders, but he couldn't see much through the smoke.

A few seconds later, the door burst open. A few of Alex's co-workers rushed through, then Washington, bearing Lafayette. Lafayette was limping, his eyes clenched shut, yowling like an animal. Washington set him down a few feet from where John was sitting with Phillip. Thomas came out holding a few people John didn't really know, then Alex, who was with Peggy. The shirt Peggy was wearing had burned, and so had her stomach. She was sobbing, stumbling, hardly able to walk. Thomas took off his light purple button up so she didn't have to lay down on the concrete roof.

"Okay!" Washington called out, standing up. "If you are unwounded, or minimally wounded, I need you to move into that corner. Hamilton, Jefferson, use the supplies from the first aid kits to stabilize the wounded."

"Yes, sir," Alex nodded, immediately coming over to where John and Phillip were. Alex tightened up the tourniquet, then took off the makeshift banadgings.

"Alex, is he going to be okay?" John asked, his throat closing up, a fat tear finally slipping down his cheeks.

"Sir, please stay calm," Alex mumbled.

John was taken aback by that. It wasn't a very Alex thing to say. Then, it clicked. John realized Alex was almost on autopilot. He was reliving what he lived through in the war. John could only imagine how many times he had done this. Looking over at Thomas and Washington, John realized they were in the same place too.

"She can't breath, the burnt tissue is preventing her chest from expanding," Thomas called out. "We need something sharp."

Alex pulled out his switchblade and tossed it to Thomas. "Use this."

"Peggy, we gotta take off the rest of your shirt and bra," Thomas stated.

"No, no, Thomas, I can't, I- Thomas!" Peggy gasped as he cut the material away. Her hands flew to her chest. "Thomas, I need something to-" She cut herself off with a loud shout of pain as Thomas cut into her sides, then took in a huge breath. John felt bad for her; he knew she didn't want to be exposed like that, so he quickly got up, untying his flannel and covering her with it. She nodded at John through pained moans, which was as much as a thank you as she could manage. John went and sat down next to Phillip again, looking at Alex.

"I need you to hand me the things I need as I ask for them," Alex said slowly, looking up at John. "He's bled way too much already, and we can't afford for him to lose much more. Can you do that?"

John nodded slowly.

"Alright," Alex nodded. He pulled away the dressings and immediately dumped hydrogen peroxide on the wound, letting it fizz and bubble for a second. "Gauze, then bandage." Alex pressed the gauze to the large wound, then took the extended bandage and began wrapping it tightly around the stump. It was obvious he was trying to keep out blood flow to prevent further bleeding. When Alex finished, he pulled out a sharpie and pulled up Phillip's shirt, then began writing. 'Phillip Laurens, seven y/o, B- blood type, father - John Laurens.' Alex then wrote John's number onto Phillip's stomach before standing up and going to someone else.

"Hey, do we have a balloon or something?" Washington asked. "I can't find where Laf is bleeding in his stomach and we just need to put pressure on the inside of the wound."

"I do!" John called out, pulling the condoms Martha had given him earlier out of his pocket.

"Great, lemme..." Washington trailed off. "Condoms?"

"It'll do," Thomas agreed, grabbing on and tearing it open. He unrolled it, blowing it up to be about the size of his fist, then tied it off. "Laf, hey, this is going to hurt. A lot."

"What are you gonna-" Lafayette cut himself off with a yell as Thomas squeezed the balloon into the open gash of his stomach. John caught a glimpse of Laf's leg. The shin bone was broken, sticking out of the bloodied skin. John moved away from Phillip and threw up.

"Jefferson, get on the phone with law enforcement," Washington commanded. "Hamilton, tend to patients. I will watch the door."

Alex nodded as he cleaned a large gash on someone's arm. Thomas was on the phone, talking in a slow and calm manner. Washington had Alex's gun and was standing by the door, hardly moving. It felt like a war zone.

"Phillip, baby," John murmured, pushing away some of the hair stuck to Phillip's forehead. "Hey, it's your papa. I'm right here, okay? I'm not gonna leave you, baby. But you, you can't leave me, alright? That's the deal." John felt his throat close up. "You stay with me, baby, and I'll stay with you." A sob broke from John's chest as he pressed his forehead to Phillip's. He could see Phillip's chest moving up and down but kept his fingers pressed against Phillip's neck, reassuring himself with the pulse.

"Hey!" Thomas yelled loudly. "We got a helicopter coming, but it can only fit two more people! Who are our most critical patients?"

"Phillip Laurens needs to go, and then it's either Laf or Peggy," Alex answered, standing up. "Phillip has lost his leg, as well as a fair amount of blood. His pulse is weak and his breathing is shallow. He needs medical attention as soon as possible. Peggy has severe third-degree burns all over her chest and abdomen, and she's prone to infection right now and could have internal damage, but Laf has a deep laceration in his stomach with an unidentified bleeder. Major, what's your call?"

Washington thought for a moment. "Send Peggy and Phillip."

"Okay, Thomas, you stay on the line with law enforcement, I'll move Peggy," Alex nodded. He walked over to the girl, helping her up and walking her over to where Phillip is to sit down next to him and John. "Here's the deal. A helicopter is coming to take out the most critical patients, but they can only take two people. Peggy and Phillip are going. John, you can't go, it can only fit two people."

"He's my son, and-"

Alex cut John off. "And he's in critical condition, like Peggy. He needs medical treatment, so does she. You can't go."

John looked to a very in pain Peggy. "Please, make sure he's safe," John whimpered.

Peggy nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks, creating lines in the dust that had settled there. "I will."

"Papa?" Phillip's small voice mumbled.

"Phillip! Phillip, hey, I'm right here, Papa’s right here," John assured Phillip, cradling Phillip’s face in his hands.

"Papa! Papa, my leg hurts!" Phillip cried out, squirming, tears streaming from his eyes. "It hurts! It hurts!" He wailed.

John pressed his forehead to Phillip’s, caressing his son’s face. "Alex, can't we do something?"

Alex shook his head. "Not right now, no."

"Papa! It hurts! Papa! Alex!" Phillip was shrieking desperately, tears running down his face. John couldn't do anything but hold Phillip, listen to the young child scream and cry. It was heartbreaking. Phillip's cries faded, and he went limp in John's arms.

John was about to panic, but Alex cut in. "He just passed out from the pain. He's okay."

"Alex, the doctors can give him meds, right?" John asked. "They can make sure it doesn't hurt, right?"

Alex looked down. "Losing a limb is painful, John. Opioids don't even touch it. It hurts. Phillip’ll be okay, but he is going to be in a lot of pain for a while, John."

John bit his lip, wiping tears off of his son's cheeks.

"Hey, hey! There it is!" Thomas called out.

John looked up to see a helicopter approaching the building.

"Peggy, hey, listen, you're gonna have to hold Phillip. They're going to send down a cage sort of for you to be in, and we don't know if whoever bombed this place has snipers, so you need to take Phillip up with you, alright?" Alex asked.

Peggy nodded, adjusting John's flannel on her a bit. The helicopter got closer, and Alex helped Peggy stand up against, picking up Phillip and placing him in her arms. John shook running his fingers through Phillip's hair as Alex waved his arms a bit in the air.

"Hey," Peggy said softly. "It's gonna be okay."

"I'm scared," John admitted.

"I know," Peggy nodded, placing her hand on his uncut cheek. John leaned into her hand, holding onto her wrist a bit and closing his eyes. Peggy rubbed the pad of her thumb against John's cheekbone, sighing. "Don't worry. I'll make sure he's safe. I promise."

"I can't lose him, Peggy," John choked out. "I love him more than anything in this life."

"I know, I know," Peggy nodded.

"Alright! Peggy, time to go! This thing can't stay in one spot too long!" Alex called out.

The helicopter was hovering above the building, a cage had been lowered on a cable, just about the size for a human to stand in. Alex helped her in, then strapped both her and Phillip in so they weren't jostled. John gently touched Phillip's back before Alex closed the cage like thing up and held a thumbs up to the helicopter above. The cage was raised up as the copter left. Tears stung the gash in John's cheek.

"Come on, let's get your face cleaned up," Alex mumbled, pulling John back over to where Lafayette was. John sat down, feeling almost numb as Alex pulled out some medical supplies. The older man got out an alcohol wipe. "This might sting."

John hissed a bit, closing his eyes. Alex put some antibiotic goo on the gash, then held gauze to it, pressing John's hand to the gauze so he would hold it there himself.

"Hey, John," Alex murmured. "It's gonna be okay."

"Why can't we leave?" John asked softly.

Alex sighed, looking up over at Thomas. "Thomas, what's the deal with the bombers?"

"They're in the building. Police can't get to them because they’ve got a second bomb ready to go off," Thomas explained. "They're gonna try to get most of us off the roof."

Alex nodded, standing up. "Alright, Major?"

"Ranger," Washington acknowledged.

"You need any help? Make sure the gun's safety isn't on, it should be loaded," Alex stated, standing up a bit.

"Ranger, you have your orders, go check in on those non critically wounded," Washington stated. "Thomas, update me on what law enforcement is saying."

"Police haven't identified the bombers yet," Thomas stated. "They're in the building, but not doing anything yet."

"And the other bomb?" Washington asked.

"Still active, location unknown," Thomas informed the man.

"Hey," Alex mumbled softly, squeezing John's hand. "I'm gonna go check on other people. Just, stay here, okay?"

"Alex, please, please don't leave, please," John begged, feeling panic build in his chest.

"I'll be right back," Alex promised, standing up and grabbing the first aid kit. John ran his hand through his short hair, then pulled out his phone. He knew there was a very real possibility that he could die, so he unlocked his phone and began telling the people he knew that he loved them. He texted Maria, telling her he loved her and that he couldn't imagine his life without her. He texted his siblings, telling them he was proud to be their brother. He texted his dear girl, telling her that she was one of his closest friends and he loved her very much. He texted Herc, James, and Sally, telling them that they were some of the best friends John could ask for.

Lastly, John typed a quick note for Phillip in his notes. He wrote about how much he loved Phillip, how proud of him he was. He also wrote out a quick will, making sure everything went to Phillip. There really wasn't much to give, not a lot of money, not a lot of anything, but he would give everything to Phillip.

"Hey," Lafayette said softly, sitting up a bit.

"You should stay down," John advised, putting his phone away.

Lafayette nodded, lying back down. "Wouldn't want to dislodge the condom sitting in my chest." He sighed, thinking, then coughed. "Hey, if, if something happens to me, you must, you must tell Herc I love him, alright? Tell him he means the world to me, and that I will always be with him."

"Laf you're gonna be okay," John stated, looking to the man.

"I know, I know that. But if I'm not, do you promise that you'll tell Herc?" Laf asked.

John nodded, closing his eyes. "I promise."

"You must not be sad, John Laurens," Lafayette said softly, taking John's hand. "You will be okay, I promise. Phillip, also."

John closed his eyes, clutching Laf's hand.

"I must also thank you for providing the condom which is keeping me from bleeding out," Laf chuckled. "Were you planning something special with Alex?"

John looked over at Alex, who was cleaning the wounds on someone's hand. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Of course," Lafayette nodded. 

"You know my friend, Martha? The one with vitiligo?" John asked.

"Yes, I do, she was at Phillip's birthday party, and I believe she's made a few appearances on Herc's Snapchat." Lafayette chuckled, then winced. "I think that my leg hurts more than my stomach."

"Can I help?" John asked.

"Yes, by distracting me and telling me this secret of yours," Lafayette nodded.

John looked down at his and Lafayette's hand. "Well, at one point during the whole South Carolina fiasco, Martha and I hooked up, and we were drunk and stupid, and-"

"John Laurens," Lafayette gasped. "Are you telling me what I believe you are telling me?"

John shrugged, offering Lafayette a half smile. "I don't think I'll ever have a planned child."

"Oh my goodness!" Lafayette gasped, laughing, then wincing. "Maybe I shouldn’t get that excited, huh? And, John Laurens! You need this condom more than I do, which is saying something, because, without it, I might be dead."

John laughed a bit.

"Does Alex know?" The French immigrant asked.

"I was just about to tell him before the bomb went off," John laughed. "I don't do secrets with Alex anymore, and it would be pretty hard to hide a pregnant Martha. She moved in with me last time, and I couldn't exactly stuff her in a closet when Alex comes over."

"You guys still aren't living together again?" Laf asked. "I thought Alex was gonna ask you yesterday."

John shrugged. "Whatever works for him, I don't want to rush him into anything. Although, it would be nice to move back in before I pulled out another six-month lease on a different, much shittier apartment, since Alex obviously does not know how much money I make."

"How much do you make?" Lafayette asked. "You’ve got two jobs."

"After taxes? About twenty-two hundred, but the rent is about fifteen hundred, then I got student loans, Phillip's schooling, food, gas, and all that other crap, I'm stretched pretty thin when it comes to paying for rent."

"So why'd you stay?" Laf asked. "It's so expensive, so why'd you stay?"

"First, it's expensive to move," John started. "And I guess, I just, New York was the first place that ever felt like home to me. The first place I ever felt free, safe, accepted. I didn't want to lose that, I guess. I mean, I got pretty close to moving out of here a couple of times, and then when I got evicted, that day I met Alex? I was pretty close to just moving back home, throwing myself at my dad's feet, and begging for forgiveness or something. Not exactly the best idea."

"I agree, that would've been awful," Laf chuckled.

John was about to say something more when the building began to shake with a low grumbling. The ground they sat upon cracked and split. John could hear screaming, and he closed his eyes. The rumbling lasted for almost a minute before it stopped.

"That was the second bomb," Washington said slowly.

"Hey, hey, Washington, cops just said the guys who did this found out we were on the roof, and they were coming up here!" Thomas yelled.

"Alright, everyone in the corner!" Alex commanded, standing up and shoving his switchblade in the waistband of his pants.

John helped Lafayette up, walking him over to where the other people were gathered. Lafayette groaned, crying out as John lowered him down as slowly as possible, offering an apologetic look. Lafayette waved it off, closing his eyes.

"Hey, hey, Washington, you ready?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, yeah," Washington nodded, the gun in his hand pointing right at the door. "Now's a good time to ask you why you had a gun in the workplace."

"I'm a Jewish-Hispanic immigrant, I've played out scenarios like this in my head a thousand times, and a gun helps in all of them," Alex answered slowly. "Do we know how many are here?"

"Police said at least three, but that's not confirmed," Thomas mumbled.

"Hey, hey, rangers! Attention to the door!" Washington yelled.

Alex squared up, widening his stance a bit, fists up. John was wondering why the hell he wasn't pulling out his knife but didn't say anything. Thomas had placed his phone back in his pocket, squaring beside Alex.

John almost screamed when the door burst open. Five men, ski masks on, all armed with a gun. Washington seemed to very quickly realize that they were outnumbered by a lot and dropped his gun, throwing up his hands. Alex and Thomas quickly followed the same route of action. John was holding back tears. Washington groaned when one of the men shot him, falling to his knees and rocking himself a bit.

"Sit down! All of you on your knees!" Man One yelled.

"I'm flattered, but I don't like giving terrorists blow jobs," Alex spat, sitting down next to John.

"Hey, shut it!" Man Two snapped, pointing the gun at Alex.

"Besides!" Thomas continued. "I don't want your nasty jizz in my mouth!"

Man One shot his gun in the sky. "Shut it or I'll kill you!"

At the shot, John crumpled a bit, tears running down his face. He was scared. Whines were escaping his mouth. Alex's hand found his and squeezed it gently. John squeezed it back, trying to calm himself down. The five men turned away from the group to talk, causing John to relax a little bit, scooting closer to Alex.

"You're making them angry," John stated softly.

"It's a method we used to deal with situations like this in Afghanistan," Alex mumbled, his mouth barely moving. "These guys are most likely untrained, this is the first time they've ever done something like this, they aren't going to kill everyone. They will want to kill someone though, and that's why Thomas and I are talking."

John's eyes widened, and his head turned to Alex. "No. No, don't do that, don't be a hero, Alex, please."

Alex was quiet. "I love you, I love you so much, John. I want everything going to you, everything. Please, send Phillip to the best college you can find, tell him I love him, stay at my house, or sell it, whatever you want. Keep the Lamborghini though, it's a fun ride."

"Alex, shut up, you're not going to die," John snapped.

Alex squeezed John's hand. "I love you."

John closed his eyes. "I love you too."

"Hey," Laf whispered. "Now's probably a bad time, but I'll be witness to Alex's last will and testament."

"Cool, thanks man," Alex nodded.

"I hate both of you," John groaned.

"Hey!" Man Three yelled. "The three of you! Enough!"

"Sorry, babe, I couldn't help it, your ass looks great in those pants and I had to tell someone!" Alex shot back quickly.

"Please, stop," John whimpered.

Alex closed his eyes. "Oh Lord, grant that this night we may sleep in peace. And that in the morning, our awakening may also be in peace. May our daytime be cloaked in your peace. Protect us and inspire us to think and act only out of love. Keep far from us all evil; may our paths be free from all obstacles when we go out until we return home." Alex squeezed John's hand. "Amen."

"Alright!" Man One yelled, walking to Alex, his gun out. "You, what's your name?"

"My name is Alexander Hamilton," Alex answered slowly.

"So you're the hymie that has been ruining government?" Man One spat.

"You know, I would just like to say, that out of all the Jewish slurs you could use for me, that one was the most accurate," Alex stated. "Still fucking rude, but accurate."

Man One hit Alex on the side of the head with his gun. "Got quite a fuckin' mouth on you, don't you?"

"It's been called a vice. I don’t know, though" Alex shot back, squinting through the pain. He felt blood drip down through his hair. John squeezed his hand.

"You can't save them," Man One spat.

Alex paused for a moment. "Are you sure?"

Man One looked taken aback by this reply. "What?"

"Are you sure? Like,  _ super _ sure? I mean, you did just bomb one of the most important buildings in New York City, I said  _ one _ of the most, so like, not  _ the  _ most but-"

"Alex!" John snapped.

"Alright, alright," Alex sighed. "So,  _ anyway _ , as I was saying, you did just bomb a very important building, which of course is going to get cops and snipers on your ass, and I mean, not to piss on your gun party or whatever, but we have had snipers in opposing buildings like, since we got up here."

Man One froze.

"Oh, you  _ didn't _ know?" Alex asked, laughing a bit. "You have a gun aimed at your head right now, so like, I dare you to shoot me and whatever."

Man One hit Alex hard in the face, causing him to fall against John a bit, but quickly recover. John was breathing heavily, his hand instantly going to catch Alex, trying to offer comfort as Alex pushed himself up. 

_ You’re talking to much, Alex. Please, just stop,  _ John thought.

Alex spit some blood in front of him. "Have you got nothing better to do than kill innocent people?" Alex swallowed some blood, not missing the way he back molar wiggled dangerously. Alex wasn't in the mood for a dental surgery any time soon but figured it might have to happen. "I mean, honestly, a million ways to occupy your time and you do this?" Alex chuckled.

It was a fast movement, and John almost didn't know what happened.

Alex pulled the knife he had hidden from his pants, bringing it down quickly into Man One's thigh. Shots went off, and Alex let out a loud curse, falling forward but quickly rolling onto his back, clutching his arm. The other men had dropped, and the man Alex had stabbed was screaming. In seconds, Washington was up, grabbing the gun he had dropped earlier.

John never thought he would watch the governor of New York look a man dead in the eyes and kill him, but the shot rang through the open air, bringing another scream from John. Thomas was up too, grabbing one of the guns the men used, checking pulses, making sure none of them got up.

"Holy  _ fuck _ !" Alex yelled, pressing his hand to his bicep. "Ow!"

"Alex, you son of a  _ fucking _ bitch!" John yelled, getting up and grabbing the man by the collar of his undershirt and pulling him up. "You know how fucking scared you had me? What the  _ fuck _ ? Why the fuck would you do that? Don't you have a brain between those ears or is it just dead air? What is  _ wrong _ with you?"

Alex just smiled, pulling John into a kiss. "Sorry."

John kissed back, burying his face in Alex’s shoulder. "How'd you know there were snipers?"

Alex shrugged. "I didn't."

John's eyes widened and he threw his arms up. "You didn't! Of course, you didn't! Jesus fucking Christ, I give up! Lord, you can have him! I changed my mind!"

"Hey, as much as I love watching you freak out," Alex started. "Can you hand me some gauze?"

"What did you do?" Thomas asked, looking at Alex.

Alex lifted his hand off of his bicep, letting some more blood flow come out before covering it again. "Technically, it wasn't  _ me  _ who did it."

"Jesus fucking Christ," John scoffed, going over to the first aid kit and grabbing some gauze. "You're so fucking stupid. I thought you were going to die!"

"Yeah, I am stupid," Alex agreed. "But you love me."

"And that’s my bad," John mumbled. "What now?"

"Alright!" Washington announced, his hand pressed to the bullet wound in his hip. "We need to wait here for law enforcement to come up right now. Alex, wrap up your arm, Lafayette, lay back down."

"Sir," Thomas stated, handing Washington gauze. Washington placed it against the bullet wound on his hip, a gun still in his hand.

It only took a few minutes for police and medics to be coming through the door. Those who could walk were lead down through the rubble, those who couldn't were placed on a gurney and carried. John was scared, gripping Alex's arm. The stairway was dusty, water was dripping. Alex placed his hand on the middle of John's back, leading him through and out of the building. There were people, police. John watched as Laf and Washington were loaded up into an ambulance.

"If you can walk and are not in need of medical assistance right now, please step into the bus and we will take you to the hospital!" A voice over a loudspeaker announced.

"You need medical attention," John stated.

"Keep your voice down," Alex muttered, looking around. "I'm fine, really. They're gonna have triage at the hospital, so I'll get stitched up there. You need stitches too, that cheek isn't going to heal itself." Alex pulled John onto a bus, sitting in the back. Other people loaded on too, Thomas sitting near the front, bouncing his leg anxiously. Alex looked over at John. "Are you okay?"

"I need to get to Phillip," John stated. "I need to make sure he's okay, I need to see him."

"Hey, hey," Alex said softly. "He's probably at the hospital we're going to, and they know you're his father, remember? I wrote it down so they could know. Hey, just, deep breaths?"

"Alex I can't take deep breaths my child is in a fucking hospital and he's missing half his leg," John snapped. "I mean, I don't know what's going on, I don't know where he is. I have never been in a situation like this, Alex. I’ve always known my child's location, who he's with, what's going on, when I'll be able to see him again. You don't get it."

"I'm scared too," Alex stated, holding John's hand. "But freaking out isn't going to help, I promise. Just, hey, just focus on my voice."

"Alex, I'm scared," John admitted. "I don't know where he is."

"It's okay, you're going to find him, and he's going to be okay," Alex assured John, pulling the man closer.

John's head dropped as tears formed in his eyes. Alex held John closely, rocking him side to side a bit. The bus was moving fast through the streets of New York, so Alex suspected that they had blocked off traffic.

Alex didn't know how many people had died, but he would like to. In Afghanistan, one of his jobs after bombings like this was to search for bodies. It was depressing work, especially when he found children. It was a really good day when they found people alive, but there were never many good days in the army. Flashes of other bombings scrolled through Alex's mind. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of them, but it wasn't working. They were replaying in his mind, over and over.

He remembered the one where he lost his leg. Most people forget stuff like that, their brain represses the trauma, but Alex couldn't forget it, no matter how many bottles he downed, no matter how many times he put the end of a revolver in his mouth. He remembered the pain, the blood. He remembered being alone, being trapped. He remembered how every movement was like being stabbed. He remembered throwing up, throwing up so much. He remembered Thomas finding him, aiding him. He remembered the way the desert looked when it was just him, Thomas, and rubble. He remembered the way infection spread every day they walked. Most of all, he remembered begging Thomas to just leave him to die. He remembered wanting to die out there.

They got to the hospital, and triage was set up in the road, traffic being blocked and redirected. New York City didn't have space for anything, so if you needed to take up more space than usual, you'd have to block some roads.

Alex pulled John out of the bus, and before he could even think, John was finding nurses, doctors, asking if they had seen his son. Stating his name, his age, trying to find someone, anyone. Every doctor, every nurse, all they could offer was a shrug and a shake of the head as John's pleas became more and more desperate.

"John, John," Alex coaxed, grabbing the younger man's arm. "He's inside, you know he is. There are other doctors with him, you need to get stitched up right now, though."

"Alex, I can't, I have to, I have to-" John placed his hand on his chest as his breathing sped up. "Alex I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't-"

"Okay, John, hey," Alex said in a slow voice, pulling John to the curb. "Come on, sit down, sit down. Close your eyes, listen to my voice. Just listen to me, listen to me. Take deep breaths. It's okay."

"No, it's not," John gasped. "I don't know where my son is, I don't know where he is if he's okay. Alex, I can't lose him, I can't lose him Alex. He's, he's my child, I can't do another heartbreak. I can't, I can't do this. I can't lose him."

"Hey, listen to me," Alex said softly, sitting in front of John, pressing their foreheads together. "You gotta breathe, John. We're going to stitch you up, then we're going to march into that hospital and knock down every door until we find Phillip, alright? Remember, I wrote down his information, so they have his name, your name, your number. They will know who he is, I promise."

John let a sob escape his chest. "This is all my fault, he was out of your office because I asked him to be. If I had just waited, he would've-"

"No, John, you can't do this to yourself," Alex interrupted. "You can't blame yourself for this. You didn't know. It wasn't your fault." Alex wiped away tears and blood with his thumb. "You're bleeding again."

John just nodded, sighing, letting his head fall against Alex's shoulder. Alex gently ran his fingers through John's hair. Alex didn't want to push John to get over to triage, but he felt blood dripping through the bandaging on his arm, and knew enough about a catastrophe to know that get medical attention was one of the most important things.

"John, come on, let's go get stitches," Alex said softly. "I do still have a bullet in my arm."

"Oh, shit, yeah," John gasped. "Okay, okay, I'm okay, I can do this."

Alex nodded, helping John up and guiding him to triage. He could see Thomas getting a gash in his side stitched up. They found a free doctor, and regardless of the fact that Alex's arm was actively bleeding, he pushed John into the chain first.

"Name?" The doctor asked.

"John Laurens," John answered.

The doctor nodded. "You know a Phillip Laurens?"

John's eyes widened. "I do, why? Do you know anything? Is he okay?"

"He's in surgery right now," the doctor answered, getting his sutures ready. He began disinfecting John's cheek with an alcohol wipe. "Were you in the building when the bomb went off?"

"Yeah," Alex answered. "Why? Any civilians get injured?"

"Civilians?" The doctor mused. "Army vet?"

"Yes, sir," Alex nodded.

"What tour?" The doctor continued, putting the first stitch in John's cheek.

"Afghanistan, about twelve tours as a ranger from two thousand and two to two thousand and ten," Alex answered. "You?"

"Iraq, two tours, army doc ranger," the doctor answered. "You got any stitching needs?"

"I’ve got a bullet in my arm," Alex offered.

"I'll get that," the doctor replied.

"But wait,  _ did  _ anyone on the street get hurt?" Alex asked.

The doctor nodded. "They were the first wave in here. Nothing too serious, though. A lot of scrapes, a few broken bones. That helicopter came in, and God, I had never..." the doctor trailed off. "I know some of the toughest vets who couldn't have handled the injuries those two had. I'm surprised the kid still had a heartbeat."

"What?" John gasped, jerking his head to look at the doctor, his face pale.

"Easy, easy," the doctor muttered, grabbing John's chin and turning his head again. "You're gonna get your sutures ripped. He had lost a lot of blood. Way too much. Smart thinking writing his blood type down, because we had about three liters of it the moment he touched down. That's an old army tactic, you know?"

"He did it," John mumbled, pointing to Alex.

"When the Taliban would bomb schools, we would number the patients, try to get names. It was a lot easier, more organized," Alex mumbled. "Kids, fucking kids."

"No one said it was pretty," the doctor muttered. "Okay, you're done." The doctor threw away his gloves and then got on a new pair as Alex sat down. "So, what's the deal with you two?"

"You always talk this much?" John asked.

"Like to make small talk when I'm about to pull a bullet out of someone's arm," the doctor replied. "This is gonna hurt, but you know that."

Alex nodded as the doctor felt around to find the bullet.

"’Ey! Jackie!" The doctor yelled. "Lemme see an ultrasound machine! We got a missing bullet!"

"What?" John gasped.

"He just means it's not in the initial entry site, and they want to make sure it's still in my arm," Alex explained.

"Where else would it be?" John asked.

"Heart, lungs, I've seen cases where it goes in the spine," the doctor listed as he put some gel on Alex's arm. "How long ago were you shot?"

"Twenty minutes," Alex stated.

The doctor pressed the sensor to his arm. "There it is. Right up here. I'm gonna have to make an incision, you want some numbing stuff or no?"

Alex shook his head.

The doctor grabbed a scalpel, disinfected it, and then cut into Alex's arm, bringing a gasp from Alex. Tweezers went into the wound, Alex’s face contorted wildly, and the bullet came out, the doctor smiling victoriously. "You're lucky this didn't come apart. That would be a lot more complicated. No one likes losing a foreign object inside of them."

Alex snorted.

"Alex," John scolded.

The doctor began stitching up the bullet hole. "I'm gonna apply butterfly stitches to the incision. Your job is to make sure they stay there and try not to move your arm, alright?"

Alex nodded. "Hey, do you know what floor Phillip Laurens is on?"

"Yeah, floor five," the doctor stated. "He and that girl are up there."

"Peggy," Alex nodded. "Is she okay?"

"She would be in a lot worse shape if you guys hadn't made those incisions in her sides," the doctor answered. "I feel like you weren't the only vet on that roof."

"Nah, another ranger and our major," Alex answered.

"Alex!" A voice yelled.

"So I did die," Alex muttered, seeing Eliza approach them. "I thought hell would have less John, though."

John smiled sarcastically. "Thanks."

"Hello, Eliza," Alex sighed.

"Jesus Christ," Eliza breathed out, quickly hugging Alex. "Are you okay? Is Peggy okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Alex nodded. "Peggy is on floor five, and so is John's kid, so we're headed up there, as soon as I get done with the stitches."

"You can't go a day without getting shot, can you?" Eliza sighed.

Alex shrugged. "Nope. I’d like to point out that you’re the reason I would stay home, though."

Eliza groaned, looking to John. "I don't know how you put up with him."

Alex hit Eliza's thigh. "I deserve a purple heart for being married to you for so long. Afghanistan was a vacation."

The doctor laughed, wrapping a bandage around Alex's arm.

John placed his hand on Alex's shoulder, making sure the man knew he was there. John was not about to let Eliza lay another hand on Alex. Alex wasn't too stressed, seeing as Eliza seemed pretty lucid. In a way, Alex always felt kinda bad for her. He knew she had some type of mood disorder, one that therapy and meds could help with, but she didn't want to see that. Alex had always hoped Angelica would say something, but she didn't.

"What are you even doing here?" Alex asked. "I thought you were in London?"

"I heard Angelica was in town, but she was gone by the time I got here," Eliza stated. "I swear, we haven't had a family reunion in years."

"For good reason," Alex scoffed. "Last time the three of you got together, I started down my path of alcoholism."

"Maybe because you were sleeping with my sister," Eliza commented as Alex stood up. "But that's just a guess."

"Okay, you're right," Alex nodded, taking John's hand as they began. "But now I'm only sleeping with one person, are you proud of me?"

"Incredibly," Eliza commented sarcastically. "What do you know of Peggy's condition?"

"Severe burns to upper abdomen and chest," Alex listed. "We had to make an incision on her sides to allow her to breathe. She was conscious when we last saw her, but probably needs hella surgery."

"Can't you talk professionally for one moment?" Eliza asked, shaking her head.

"Sorry," Alex apologized. "Requerirá una cirugía muy necesaria para salvar su vida, ya que lo más probable es que las quemaduras hayan bajado a sus órganos internos. Los injertos de piel pueden ser necesarios."

"Gracias," Eliza muttered.

"Wait, she speaks Spanish?" John asked.

Eliza nodded as the three of them stepped into the hospital elevator. "Learned when I started dating Alex, because he wasn't good at English."

"Hey! Hold it!" Thomas yelled.

Alex placed his hand on the elevator door to stop it from closing as Thomas squeezed inside. Thomas had on a very clean looking grey tee shirt that was obviously provided to him by the hospital, and he looked shaky.

"Washington is up on the fifth floor," Thomas stated.

"Is he okay?" Alex asked.

Thomas shrugged. "I called Herc, told him where we were. I'm pretty sure Lafayette is up there too."

"Do we know who died?" Alex asked.

"At least ten people," Thomas stated. "I wasn't able to get names, but we will eventually."

"What about the building?" John asked.

"It's gonna take a long time to repair, if they even can," Thomas muttered. "John, did you find Phillip?"

"Fifth floor," Alex answered. "Did you call Sally?"

"No, but I'm pretty sure the hospital did," Thomas stated. "Sally is Peg's emergency contact. Herc was pretty scared when I called him, but he's on his way."

"What about James?" John asked. "Did you call him?"

"Yes, I did," Thomas nodded. "I called him on the bus ride over here. He's pretty freaked out, on his way as well. John, you okay?"

John nodded slowly. "I just need to get to Phillip."

Thomas swallowed. "He's going to be in surgery for a little bit. Alex didn't leave to the table for twelve hours after he lost his leg."

"I also was septic, so..." Alex shrugged.

"I remember watching Angie crush up the strongest sleep medication the army hospital had and mix it in with chocolate pudding for you," Thomas reminisced.

Alex shook his head, stepping out onto the fifth floor. "John, come on, let's go find a nurse."

John nodded, gripping Alex's hand as they walked down the hallway to a desk. John was the first to speak. "Hello, a child was checked in not too long ago, Phillip Laurens?"

"Relationship to the patient?" The receptionist asked.

"I'm his father," John replied.

"Phillip Laurens is currently in surgery," the receptionist replied.

"And Lafayette?" Alex asked.

"And you are?" The receptionist asked.

"His brother," Alex answered.

The receptionist paused. "Still in surgery."

"Peggy Schuyler?" Alex continued, the worry apparent in his voice.

"Don't tell me you're her brother too," The receptionist sighed.

"I'm her sister," Eliza stated, standing next to Alex.

"She's in surgery. They're all in surgery, everyone that came from the bombing in critical condition. We have no free surgeons," the receptionist sighed.

"Great, do you have any updates on any of them?" Alex asked.

The receptionist shook her head. "When I see a nurse, I'll ask them to get you some updates. Were all of you in the bombing?"

"Not her," Alex mumbled. "Look, we're just really worried."

"Sit down, we'll get news soon," the receptionist promised. "No in-hospital deaths so far."

"Thank God," Alex muttered.

"Alex, John, Thomas!" A voice gasped.

John turned to see Herc, walking briskly towards them.

"Is he alive? Is he okay? Please, tell me something!" Herc begged, grabbing John by the shoulders.

"Hey, easy," Alex coaxed. "He's in surgery. Everyone is in surgery."

"What happened?" Herc asked.

"Okay! Everyone needs to sit down and stop blocking my desk!" The receptionist announced. "Go! There's a coffee machine around the corner!"

"We're going, we're going," Thomas muttered, leading the crew to the waiting area. "Laf's shin bone broke, looked pretty painful. He got a puncture wound in his stomach, but we shoved a blown up condom in it too keep it from bleeding."

"A condom?" Herc asked.

"Ask John," Thomas replied, sitting down and placing his face in his hands.

"John, where's Phillip?" Herc asked.

John’s head was buried in his hands. He felt a hand on his shoulder, but it didn't stop him from breaking down. Hercules was hugging him. It felt like a big protective teddy bear. John let himself cry into Herc, his shoulders wracked with silent sobs. He always had felt more comfortable crying around the man, because he knew Herc didn't have a mean bone in his body.

"He's in surgery," Alex answered for John. He was outside my office when the bomb went off, and it just, it wasn't good."

"Is he going to be okay?" Herc asked.

John didn't see Alex shrug, didn't hear the quiet and heartbroken 'I don't know,' but everyone else did. Herc just held John tighter, trying to stave away the unimaginable. John was scared, and Herc couldn't imagine what he was going through. Herc had taken Will to the emergency room more than once, but for playground injuries.

"Thomas!" James gasped, stepping out of the elevator and almost running over to the man. Thomas gasped, hugging James tightly and burying his face in the shorter man's neck. It was a breath of fresh air for Thomas. He had been so terrified on that roof, terrified that he would never see James again. He was so happy to have the man in his arms again.

"Alex," Eliza said softly. "Are you okay?"

Alex shook his head.

"Hey," Eliza mumbled, taking his hand.

"I'm just worried," Alex replied. "And bombings don't exactly bring up my best memories."

"Did you take your meds this morning?" She asked.

Alex nodded, closing his eyes.

"Come on, sit down," Eliza said softly.

Alex nodded again, sitting down with Eliza. She gently kissed his shoulder, then leaned back, closing her eyes. John was sitting on the other side of the hallway, still whimpering into Herc’s chest. John looked to Alex. Alex nodded a bit, rubbing his bandaged arm. It hurt, and he wished he would've gotten some painkillers. The blood that was dried on John's cheek bothered him, so he got up, getting a tissue from the receptionist and wetting it before going to John. He got on his knees in front of the younger man, then gently wiped the blood away from John's cheek and neck.

"There, all better," Alex mumbled, leaning up and gently kissing the injured cheek.

"You're one to talk," John muttered, laughing shakily as he licked his thumb and wiping a bit of blood off of Alex's face. Alex moved his head away a bit, but John still managed to wipe off some blood and wipe his hand on his shorts. It was a parent thing, some deep instinct John couldn't lose.

"Hey, we're gonna get news soon," Alex assured John. "I know this hospital, it's good. It's got a lot of army docs."

John nodded, gripping Alex's hand. He could feel tears still dripping off of his chin. "Thank you."

Alex kissed John's knuckles. "Do you want coffee?"

John closed his eyes. "Yes, coffee sounds great."

"Alright, hon," Alex mumbled, standing up. "I'm gonna be right back." Alex kissed John's cheek again. "Deep breaths."

"I’ve got him," Herc promised.

Alex nodded and made his way down the hall to find the coffee machine. John leaned back and closed his eyes, sighing.

"Dammit John Laurens!" A voice yelled.

John jumped, gasping almost when he saw Martha, his dear girl, looking pissed. "Marth-"

"Jesus!" Martha cried out, cutting him off. She pulled him up and into a hug without another word, holding him tightly as she did so. "I thought you were dead!"

"God, why?" John asked, taking her face in his hands, his tears starting up again.

"Gee, I dunno," Martha started, her eyes welling up with tears. "You send me a goodbye text, the building you're in blows up, you don't pick up your phone." Martha pounded her fist against John's chest gently. "Fuck you."

"I'm sorry," John mumbled. "I didn't, just, Phillip, he's in surgery."

"Oh, God, John, is he okay?" Martha asked, her eyes widening.

"I don't, I don't know," John whimpered. "I don't know, all I know is that he's here and, I just, I'm so fucking scared."

"John, hey, hey," Martha said softly. "It's okay, hey, it's gonna be okay, I'm right here, it's okay. Deep breaths. Remember, that kid has got me in him, and nothing can kill me, so the same goes for him."

John almost laughed, though tears were leaking from his eyes. "That is true."

Martha ran her thumb over the cut on John's cheek, frowning. "Come on, I'll wait with you. Is Alex here?"

"Getting coffee," John answered, sitting back down next to Herc.

Martha sat on the other side of him, pulling out an envelope from her purse. "I thought you would want these since you're sentimental."

John opened the envelope, smiling at the pictures of the ultrasound, gently brushing his fingertips over the smudge of white that was his child. Now he was crying for a whole other reason. He put the pictures back, then looked to Martha, sighing a bit. "Can I?"

"Yes," Martha nodded, leaning back and closing her eyes.

John gently reached over, placing his hand on her stomach. He felt the small bump under her shirt and smiled, closing his eyes as well and leaning back. He didn't see everyone's eyes on him and Martha. He didn't see the realization in Herc's face or the shock in Thomas'. He didn't see the way James looked at the floor, eyes wide, lips pressed together. He was blissfully ignorant to the fact that suddenly everyone in the room knew.

Until, of course, Eliza spoke up.

"Oh my God," Eliza gasped, sitting up. "She's pregnant!"

John's eyes shot open, and for a second he contemplated whether or not he wanted to even acknowledge this.

"And it's yours!" Eliza continued, her eyes wide. "Does Alex know?"

"Eliza," John started.

"He doesn't, does he?" Eliza gasped. She laughed, tilting her head back. "Oh my God! You're gonna have a baby! Another one!"

"Who the fuck even are you?" Martha asked. "Bitch comin' up in here sayin' shit that ain't even your business! Shut up!"

"Oh, no, this is golden, because now John gets to see just how fucking unhelpful Alex really is," Eliza cackled.

"Wait, what?" Alex asked, coming back into the hallway with two coffee cups in his hand.

"Your boyfriend knocked some other girl up! Again!" Eliza laughed.

"Wait, wait, what?" Alex asked.

John leaned forward, placing his face in his hands and closing his eyes.

"Bitch, don't think just because I'm knocked up don't mean I ain't ready to kick your ass," Martha threatened, standing up. "I'll give you a good classic Brooklyn beat down if you don't shut your mouth. You think I don't know the shit you pulled with Alex? Huh? He may not hit back because you're a girl, but I ain't afraid of your fifty dollar manicure."

"Martha, please," John said softly.

Martha ran her tongue over her teeth, staring Eliza down. "You don't scare me."

Alex looked at John, thinking. "Is she really pregnant?"

"I would like to state, for John's sake, that it happened while you two weren't together," Martha explained, sitting back down with a small 'oof.'

Alex nodded slowly, sitting down on the floor in front of John, handing John his coffee. "When were you going to tell me?"

"It's what I was about to tell you in your office," John explained, his voice low. "No secrets, Alex."

Alex nodded, sipping his coffee. "Let's talk more about this later, alright?"

"Alright," John nodded.

Alex sat on the floor between John's legs, sipping his coffee and waiting. John kept one hand on Martha's stomach, seeing as it was the only thing that was making him feel slightly okay at the moment. Alex's head resting against John's thigh also helped, and Hercules on his other side, just being there.

John handed Alex the envelope filled with the sonogram pictures quietly, swallowing hard as he did so. Alex opened them, then smiled. He knew enough about ultrasounds to know where the baby was and where it wasn't. Alex gently tilted his head, kissing John's leg. John finished off his coffee and set it on the floor, using his free hand to grip Herc's.

Everyone was waiting far too long to be okay with it. Alex almost dozed off a couple of times but jerked awake at any slight sound he heard. Martha, though her closest connection there was John, stayed, just as she promised. She knew John was scared, she knew he was hurt and sad, and she didn't want to leave him alone. Even if he did have people there with him, she still didn't want to go.

"Hey," Alex mumbled, looking up at John. "How're you?"

"Exhausted," John answered tiredly.

"Bitch, me too, the fuck," Herc mumbled softly, causing John to snort a bit.

Alex looked over at Thomas and James, who were both asleep, leaning against each other, then sighed, leaning back against John's leg. Eliza was still there, sleeping as well. Something about the aftermath of a tragedy made people tired. Alex remembered the way people would sleep anywhere they could after bombings in Afghanistan. He remembered how Jay would curl up against him in the cruizer on the way back to camp.

"I love you, John," Alex muttered softly.

"I love you too," John replied.

"About fuckin' time," Martha muttered. "I was wondering when John was going to grow a damn pair."

"Honey, you know well enough that I have a pair," John chuckled.

"You owe me forty bucks for the vitamins, by the way," Martha muttered.

"I know, I know," John replied.

"Here," Alex muttered, pulling out his wallet and handed Martha two twenties. 

"Damn, you didn't even knock me up and you paying cash," Martha chuckled. "John, you should've met him a  _ long _ time ago."

"I know, right," John replied.

"Is the guardian of Phillip Laurens here?" A doctor asked.

John froze, but Alex reacted. "Yes! We are!" Alex stood up, then looked to John, who no longer had color in his face. "Come on, I'll go with you, I'll be right here, I promise."

John nodded, standing up and walking towards the doctor with Alex. His legs felt like Jello and bricks at the same time. He was shaking, trying not to cry, but so worried. He didn't want to know what the doctor was going to say. He didn't want to hear what happened, because dread was the only thing filling him. He felt as though his worst fears were coming to life, but he took deep breaths as they stood in front of the doctor, trying to prepare himself.

None of them sitting in the waiting room could hear what the doctor said to the two of them, but their hearts broke in half when they saw John collapse in sobs against Alex.

  
  



	32. Dunkin' Donuts Is A Metaphor For Capitalism

Alex and John sat in the hospital room very quietly. Neither of them spoke. Alex rested his chin on folded hands, staring at the floor similarly to John. Nausea had settled in his stomach, and his heartbeat was still in his ears. The taste of coffee still lingered in his mouth but in a bitter sort of way. The hospital coffee wasn't that good anyway, but Alex didn't much care. It was so hard to care about anything at that moment.

"Can we pray?" John asked Alex quietly. "I feel like it's the only thing we can do right now, and I want to do something. Anything to make this stop."

Alex nodded, turning a bit towards John and taking his hands. "Hebrew or English?"

"I don't care," John mumbled, staring at Alex's hand. "Anything to stop the quiet."

Alex closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against John's. "Mi Shebeirach avoteinu v'imoteinu, Avraham, Yitzchak v'Yaakov, Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel v'Lei-ah, hu y'vareich et hacholim Ahava. HaKadosh Baruch Hu yimalei rachamim aleihem, l'hachalimam ul'rapotam ul'hachazikam, v'yishlach lahem m'heirah r'fuah, r'fuah shleimah min hashamayim, r'fuat hanefesh ur'fuat haguf, hashta baagala uviz'man kariv. V'nomar, Amen."

John sighed softly, squeezing Alex's hand a bit. "Thank you. Thank you, Alex." John leaned forward, resting his head against Alex's shoulder and closing his eyes. "Thank you for staying."

"I'm not going to leave," Alex whispered. "You aren't alone, John Laurens."

John felt tears well up in his eyes again but swallowed them back. He felt like everything was mocking him. The voices quietly coming from other rooms, the nurses walking through the hall, the way the health posters smiled down at him. He wished they weren't there. He wished he could take them down. He couldn’t understand how anyone could smile right now, not even the ethnically diverse models on the posters about flu shots and vaccines. They were cruel and unfair. Hospitals shouldn't have posters like that, especially somewhere so much grief took place.

"The doctor said we could stay, if we wanted to. He said there were blankets, and we just needed to ask a nurse." Alex kept his eyes fixed on John, not daring to look at the hospital bed in front of them. “Would you like me to go get some?”

John nodded, his eyes closing. "I don’t want to leave him."

Alex kissed John's temple. "I'll be right back."

John leaned back in his chair. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to look at what was right in front of him. He tried to stay awake, just so he could fall asleep with Alex's hand in his, just so he could not feel so scared and alone, but he couldn't help it as he slowly slipped out of consciousness.

John woke up at three am. He felt Alex leaning against his shoulder, sleeping as well. John's head was groggy, his stomach hurt, and his eyes were dry. He was dehydrated, he could tell by the headache that was settling itself into him, but John couldn’t tell what had woken him.

"Papa?"

John was up in a second, tripping over his own feet. The hospital room had low light, so he could see Phillip's face, those big brown Puerto Rican eyes, the hair that John had done up so it wouldn't get wrecked by the cotton pillowcases. Phillip looked scared, and it broke John's heart.

"Hey, hey, buddy," John said softly. "I'm right here. Hey, Papa is right here. I told you, I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying right here." John sat on the edge of the bed, gently placing his arm around Phillip. "You're safe, it's okay."

"Papa, where am I?" Phillip asked, his voice shaking. "Why do I feel all tingly?"

John looked over at the morphine Phillip was hooked up to, which had been flowing at a pretty steady pace for the past twelve hours. "You're at a hospital, buddy. You have medicine in you that's helping you not hurt."

"What happened?" Phillip asked.

"Mmf, John?" Alex groggily mumbled. He started when he saw John sitting with the small kid. "Phillip! Hi, hey! Hey buddy."

"You're here too, Alex?" Phillip asked.

"Of course, of course," Alex nodded. "I would never leave. I stayed with your papa the whole time, and I'm gonna stay with you."

"What happened?" Phillip asked.

John swallowed hard. The bombers had been identified. They were part of a neo-nazi movement. The bombing was a plan that was months in the making. It was racist anti-semitic, Islamophobic propaganda. John was terrified that people nowadays could have so much hate, but he knew they were living in dark times.

The doctor had told John and Alex that Phillip was stable, and John just collapsed. The relief that had been dumped on him was enormous, and it was his body's reaction to an enormous amount of stress falling away. Alex had taken a few seconds to process what had been said, but ended up hugging John, whispering 'thank you, God', over and over. The doctor had explained Phillip may not wake up for a while, due to the amount of Morphine they had provided him with, but John stayed and waited the whole time. James and Thomas were given the keys to John's apartment so Basil wouldn't pee all over the place, while John and Alex stayed by Phillip's bedside, waiting. Martha had gone home one they found out Phillip was okay, with a promise to call in the morning.

Washington had gotten out of surgery, Peggy had been stabilized but would need to go to a better surgery center to get the treatment she needed. Lafayette was stabilized as well, a few rooms down from the trio currently, most likely accompanied by Herc and William.

"Sometimes," Alex began. "Bad people do bad things to good people for no reason other than fear. It doesn't make it right, it doesn't make it justified. They let fear control them until they cannot love anymore, and they forgot that others can. All of us got hurt because of bad people. But, now we're in a place full of good people, and we're safe."

"What did we do to the bad people?" Phillip asked as Alex pulled up a chair.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing," John mumbled.

"Then why did they hurt us?" Phillip pushed.

"Because we weren't afraid," Alex answered. "Because instead of fear, we chose love. Instead of hatred, we chose to be a family, to care for each other, to be with each other. People will try to bring you down for your love, but you are stronger than that.  _ We  _ are stronger than that."

"What if they try to hurt us again?" Phillip asked worriedly.

John remembered the way those gunshots sounded as the men who hurt his son died. "They won't. We made sure of that. No matter who tried to hurt us, we will get through it as a family, because that's what family does." John kissed the top of Phillip's head. "Alex and I will protect you, I promise."

"I don't get why people would hurt other people," Phillip stated, looking down. His bottom lip pouted out.

"I don't either," Alex admitted honestly. "But we're always gonna be here."

"I'm sorry," John mumbled softly. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."

Phillip cuddled closer to John, closing his eyes. "I love you, Papa." Phillip closed his eyes, his head against John's chest. "My leg feels funny."

John's eyes widened as Phillip fell back asleep, then he looked at Alex. "He doesn't remember, Alex."

"Most people block out traumatic stuff like that," Alex replied.

"How am I gonna tell him? How am I gonna, oh God." John ran his hand over his face, groaning a bit. "Oh, God, how is he gonna live? Oh, shit, I don't know anything about prosthetics! They didn't teach us this in dance class. There was a girl with a prosthetic hand, but I didn't ask her about it because that's rude! Oh God."

"Hey," Alex said softly.

John looked up.

"You're dating a guy who has a below the knee amputation and had been wearing a prosthetic for almost ten years now."

John closed his eyes. "I don't want to bother you."

Alex stood up, taking John's hand. Sitting on the hospital bed, John was about the same height as a standing Alex, so the shorter man appreciated the direct eye contact. "You are not bothering me with this. I love Phillip, I love him like he's my own, and I love you." Alex pressed his forehead to John's. "You guys are my family, and I am going to be there for my family in a time like this. I'll help you, I'll help Phillip." Alex paused, thinking. "Did you ever put him on insurance?"

"Yeah," John replied quietly.

"Alright, good, because you're about to see a long ass string of medical bills come in," Alex stated. "He's going to need PT, weekly and then monthly checkups, and antibiotics. We may become regulars at the hospital."

"Oh, God, I'm gonna go into so much debt," John mumbled.

"Well, I did just win fifteen million in a settlement, and I haven't really done much with it, so how about I help out?" Alex suggested.

"I can't ask you to do that," John replied.

"You're not asking, and neither am I," Alex stated. The immigrant gently kissed the southerner's lips. "I love you, John Laurens. I love you so much, and I'm gonna be there to help with all of this." Alex paused, thinking. "You should move back in with me."

John pulled away from the embrace. "I can't."

Alex paused. "Is this about the-"

"It's not got anything to do with you," John promised. "I just... Martha is pregnant."

"Well I know that," Alex chuckled.

"And it's my kid," John continued. "And I don't, I don't like leaving her alone when she's pregnant. She moved in with me last time and she's gonna move in with me this time. I mean, I don't want her, eight months pregnant, trying to get around on her own or with roommates who have never been around a pregnant woman in their lives. I want to be with her. I want to be a father as soon as I can be for this child."

"Alright, and...?" Alex continued.

"And so isn't that a bit of a deal breaker for moving back in with you for a bit?" John asked softly.

Alex rolled his eyes. "You said you wanted to do this with me, right?"

John nodded.

"So, I'm gonna be there, and if it means that Martha is moving into our guest room for a few months-"

"Sixish," John corrected, remembering how Martha was already about to leave her first trimester.

"- _ Then  _ so be it," Alex finished. "If we are gonna have a kid, we're gonna do it together, alright? I do think it's a bit funny how you knocked your baby mama up for the  _ second time  _ but I'm not going anywhere. You can't get rid of me that easy, and I like to think I've proved that."

John smiled lightly, resting his head against Alex's again. "I love you."

"I love you too," Alex responded. "Also, I'm gonna teach you how to put on a condom when we get home."

"Why?" John asked.

"Oh, you know, just in case, because you clearly don’t know how," Alex shrugged.

"In case what?" John asked.

"In case something happens," Alex elaborated, offering a sarcastic half smile. "To us."

"I don't have an 'in case' though. Do you?" John asked.

Alex shook his head. "No. You're kinda endgame for me."

"You're endgame for me," John chuckled, kissing Alex's cheek. "I mean, I’ve usually got backup men, and I'm gonna be honest, I had a few backups when we first got together, but like, nah, you are my final stop in bonetown."

"Wow, I think you just wrote your wedding vows," Alex commented sarcastically.

"Mm, yes, I've always been quite eloquent," John agreed. "Can I be honest?"

"Yes," Alex nodded.

"I've never been married before," John chuckled. "I don't really know how to do it. Do you? I mean, I would assume so, but, like, I'm not gonna hold you to it."

"It's a lot easier than it seems if you want it to be," Alex shrugged. "Let's just focus on getting engaged first."

"Well, I mean, we could just-"

"Nope," Alex smiled, pecking John's lips. "I love you, but this is not going to be our engagement story."

"Okay, then how about, before we focus on getting engaged, we focus on having another baby," John suggested. "Which I know plenty about."

"So what, we like, get a crib?" Alex asked.

John pouted a bit, rubbing Alex's chin. "Aw, my sweet, sweet Alex. How adorably clueless you are. How much experience do you have with babies?"

"Practically none," Alex answered.

"Well, we have a bunch of shit we need to buy," John started. "I read seventeen parenting books in the span of Martha's pregnancy last time. Of course, I found out like, three weeks after she got knocked up, not three months, but, luckily, I learned enough to where I just need you to read one book, and practice diapering and holding. We'll get you a doll."

"I'm a grown man, I don't need a dolls," Alex scoffed.

"Babe, you gotta learn how to hold a baby, or you have to relearn. Diapering, feeding, picking up signs, how to tell when babies are teething, cutting their nails- which is probably the scariest, swaddling, all of it."

"I don't need to, I already know it," Alex boasted.

"Okay, what kind of blanket is best for the baby when sleeping in a crib?" John asked.

"Fleece," Alex answered confidently.

"Wrong," John chuckled. "No blanket is the correct answer. You can read a book and learn a few things."

Alex groaned. "And I can't go off and fight in a war?"

John made sure Phillip was still asleep before smacking the side of Alex's head. "No, you cannot. You can suck it up and help me raise a kid."

"I'm surprised you're not doing your whole protective thing, you know, you do do that," Alex stated honestly.

John gently kissed Alex's cheek. "I wanna be with you. I want you to be their dad. You wanna know why?"

"Hm?" Alex hummed.

"Because I'm in love with you, you're responsible, you're kind, and I trust you. Whether or not I trust you to be alone with a baby yet is still up in the air, but everything else is cool." John sighed, pecking Alex's lips. "I'm gonna sleep with Phillip, so you can get comfortable wherever." John adjusted himself so he was fully on the hospital bed, Phillip curled up in his arms.

"Alright," Alex mumbled, leaning forward and placing his head on the soft bed. "I love you."

"I love you too," John replied, closing his eyes. It didn't take him long to fall back asleep, and it was much nicer this time, now that his child was in his arms.

John woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee. His eyes opened a bit and he turned his head to the course of the smell before his eyes had adjusted to being open. He found Alex, sitting in a chair on his laptop, sipping coffee. Alex had changed into sweatpants and a clean tee shirt, which John was curious about this, seeing as they obviously weren't hospital-issued.

"Mm," John hummed, trying to figure out words to say.

"Hey, you're up!" Alex chimed. "It's about nine, but I always wake up around six, so I ran by my house and your apartment and grabbed us a few things. I got you a change of clothes, and I grabbed your phone charger, and the iPad for Phillip in case he gets bored, and a Harry Potter book. Also, there's a shower in the bathroom." Alex closed his laptop and handed John a to-go mug of coffee. "I brought some travel toiletries for us, and we can run by the houses to get more stuff too. Phillip's doctor said he's most likely going to be here for ten days or so, as long as there are no complications. I got his email, though, so if we have any questions we can text him."

John sipped his coffee, sitting up and yawning. "What? Email?"

"Yes," Alex nodded. "I'm a public figure sweetie, people trust me."

John yawned again, kissing Phillip's head. "Shower?"

"In the bathroom," Alex confirmed, grabbing some clothes for John out of the bag, as well as the travel stuff. "There's a shelf with towels and a blue bin to leave them in. Here are some clean clothes for you, I'll watch Phillip."

John nodded, still half asleep, before making his way into the bathroom. It was similar to the ones in South Carolina. John remembered being hospitalized and being so weak from malnourishment the nurses had to help him walk to the restroom. He was put on the dreaded 'drip' and he liked to call it, which brought him back out of the red zone.

John leaned over the bathroom sink, staring at himself in the mirror. He ran his hand along the stitches in his cheek, grimacing a bit. Bits of his hair were clumped together from the blood.

A flash of Lafayette, writhing on the ground in pain, played through John's mind, taking over his vision for a second. John could hear the scream in the split second. He jumped, moving away from the mirror, breathing heavily, trying to get the echo of the yell out of his mind. The scene replayed again and John felt his stomach turn. He ran his hand through his hair breathing heavily, trying to calm himself down. He didn't know what the fuck had just happened, but he didn't like it.

John stood up and slipped out of his tee shirt and pants, both of which were still stained with blood, and turned on the hospital shower, sighing as he stepped under. The water running off of him was a light pink, and then it was clear. John closed his eyes, letting himself relax under the water before getting to work with washing himself off.

About ten minutes later, John was stepping out, grabbing a towel and drying himself off before getting dressed and coming back out into the hospital room and sitting down next to Alex, cradling his coffee in his hands and taking slow small sips. He smiled a bit as Alex leaned over and kissed his shoulder.

"Thank you," John said softly.

"Mm," Alex hummed.

"What's going on with your work?" John asked.

"Well, I ran by it this morning because police were letting employees collect valuables and I had a few things I wanted to grab. Anyway, it's going to need a lot of repairs. It was a turn of the century building, built back in the early eighteen hundreds, so the blast crumbled some support, but they said they could rebuild it. It’ll take a while, though, so I'll be working from home for a bit, which I don't think will be exactly bad because we'll spend more time together, and then when you work, I can keep Pip company. Maybe he and I can lie on the floor and be in pain together."

"Not funny," John mumbled.

"It wasn't a joke," Alex replied, sipping his coffee. "I mean, I'm sure Phillip isn't going to develop chronic pain from this. The reason I did was because I was septic and bacteria attacked my central nervous system, but John, I'm going to be the first to tell you that Phillip is going to be in pain. They can't keep pumping him full of morphine until he's healed."

"Aren't there painkillers that work?" John asked.

"Opioids don't touch this," Alex answered. "I mean, I smoked pot to get me through my amputation, but I don’t think that you want Pip to do that, and even then it hurt. Bottom line? It's going to hurt. There were days where I couldn't get out of bed, there were days when I cried. It hurts."

"I don't know how I'm going to do this," John admitted. "I don't know how to help."

"Be there with him," Alex said. "It helps, it helps a lot, I promise."

John sighed. "I'm just gonna have to take some serious time off of work."

"Well, it's almost summer anyway," Alex shrugged, sipping his coffee. "You know, it was just Thomas and me when I lost my leg."

John looked over.

"We were checking an old building, seeing if it was holding Taliban," Alex mumbled, sipping his coffee again. "There was a suicide bomber like they knew we were coming. He was in the basement, and we had seconds to get out after he pressed the button. Thomas was faster, but I was still in the building when the bomb went off. I honest to God thought I was going to die. It's how I got the scars on my face." Alex nodded a bit. "Thomas found me under rubble after about an hour of searching. The bomb had blown off just above my ankle, and cauterized it, which is how I didn't bleed out. It was a thirty-mile walk back to camp since our bug got basically wrecked during the explosion. I probably owe Thomas my life and then some, because there were times when I just begged him to leave me there."

"Why?" John asked.

"I didn't want to go on. I knew I was holding him back, I had nothing to go to. No Jay, no daughter, nothing. But, I made it, I'm here." Alex kissed John's shoulder. "And so is Phillip. It's going to suck for a little while, I'm not going to sugarcoat it, but it gets better. I don't think I'm exactly the best example, but I know like, forty amputees who  _ are  _ good examples."

John closed his eyes and kissed Alex's temple. "None of them are you. Thank you. I think you’ll make this easier for Phillip."

"Hello!" A doctor chirped, walking into the room. "I'm Dr. Newman, the doctor assigned to Phillip's case. Is he up yet?"

John shook his head.

"Has he woken at all?" The doctor asked, picking up a clipboard and reading over the paper on it.

John nodded. "For a few minutes this morning, around three."

"Well, that's good," Dr. Newman nodded. "Don't feel nervous if he sleeps most of today and tomorrow, we've hooked him up with some pretty strong painkillers." He pulled up a chair and sat down in front of Alex and John. "Your son has a below-the-knee leg amputation. Now, do either of you have experience with prosthesis?"

"I have a below the knee amputation as well," Alex stated, pulling up his sweatpants a bit to show off the wooden prosthetic. "So, a little bit, I guess."

"Well that’s ideal," the doctor nodded. "Phillip will need to be in a wheelchair for the next two months or so until his leg heals enough to begin physical therapy and measurement for prosthetics. We are currently working on a pain management plan for Phillip. Because his leg was lost in a traumatic way, the pain will be greater than if it were surgically removed, but there are other factors that lessen potential pain, such as age, sex, location of the amputation."

"Okay, I may just be sounding stupid right now," John started. "But, is there any possible way we could avoid using opioids? Or are they the only things that work?"

"When we are working with patients this young, we always try the non-opiate route first, but have it on hand in case the pain is too much," Dr. Newman explained. "IV infusion therapy is popular. We use a medication called ketamine, are you familiar with that?"

John shook his head.

"It's a non-opiate," Dr. Newman explained. "It is mostly used for sleep for amputations, seeing as the drug can cause sedimentation. Nerve blocks work as well, but I've found my patients use these during the day since these would make one less drowsy, but still do a good job at blocking pain." Dr. Newman paused. "Mr. Laurens-"

"Please, call me John," John mumbled.

"John," Dr. Newman continued. "Regardless of pain management, Phillip will be in pain. I can assume Mr. Hamilton has told you a bit of what to expect, and regardless of what we do, your son will be in pain, and a mass amount of it. It will get better with time, but time is all we can give him when it comes down to it." Dr. Newman looked back at the clipboard. "We can give you some papers and pamphlets on natural pain management that could help."

"Yes, please," John nodded.

"Papa?" Phillip's small voice called out.

"There's my favorite patient!" Dr. Newman smiled, standing up. "Hey buddy, me and your dads were just talking' a bit, but they're right here. I'm Dr. Newman, but you can call me Paul. I'm gonna be your doctor while you're in the hospital."

"Like Dr. Goodwin?" Phillip asked.

"Max Goodwin?" Dr. Newman inquired.

"Dr. Goodwin helps your head, Phillip," John explained, sitting closer to his son. "Dr. Newman is going to help your body."

"What's wrong with it?" Phillip asked.

Dr. Newman paused, thinking. "Maybe it's best I leave?"

"Please stay," John requested. "In case he has questions."

The doctor nodded and stepped back a bit. Alex moved closer to John, smiling at Phillip lightly and taking John's hand.

"Hey, buddy, you know how Alex is missing part of his leg?" John started. "But he can still move and do whatever he wants?"

Phillip nodded.

"Well, in that explosion, the one the bad men caused..." John trailed off. "Phillip you lost your leg."

Phillip looked down at the blankets, right at where only one foot poked up. He reached forward, touching the blanket space where his leg would be. Phillip's brows creased and he pulled back the blanket, staring at where his leg ended. Clean white bandages were around the stump. Phillip touched it, then quickly pulled his hand back. The room was quiet.

"Is it gonna grow back?" Phillip asked. "Like Deadpool?"

John's eyes widened. "When did you see Deadpool?"

"You and Alex were watching it and I wasn't tired," Phillip answered.

John's head dropped and he groaned. "God."

"It doesn't grow back," Alex answered. "But, you can get a new one. Like, one that has Spiderman on it or something."

Phillip stared at Alex, obviously thinking. "Where is my leg?"

"Leg heaven," Alex answered quickly.

Phillip kept staring.

"Phillip, any questions you have will be answered by me or one of your parents," Dr. Newman cut in. "We want you to be as comfortable as possible, so don't feel afraid to tell us if you are uncomfortable, in pain, tell us right away and we will do whatever we can to help. You will be in the hospital for a bit more than a week, and then you will go home."

"What if I need to walk?" Phillip asked.

"You'll have a wheelchair," Dr. Newman informed Phillip.

"Cool!" Phillip gasped. "Alex, can I go down your driveway in it?"

"Yeah-!" Alex stopped when he saw the warning look on John's face. Alex cleared his throat a bit. "I mean, no, of course not, that would be dangerous."

"I can't believe I have two children already," John groaned.

"Please, Papa?" Phillip asked.

"No!" John gasped. "No one is going down Alex's driveway in a wheelchair! I can't believe I'm saying this right now!"

"How long am I gonna be in the wheelchair?" Phillip asked.

"About two months," the doctor answered, smiling a bit at the family's interaction.

"Two months?" Phillip asked. "But, but that's so long."

"Yes, but then you'll begin to learn how to walk again," Dr. Newman explained.

"But I already know how to walk," Phillip pointed out.

"Yes, but losing a leg is a very traumatic experience on the body, and motor skills in that body part can be affected, so you will need to relearn how to move and coordinate yourself with the help of a physical therapist," Dr. New explained.

Phillip was obviously frustrated. "I don't know what that means!"

"Let me help," John offered. "Sometimes, buddy, when you get injured, your body needs to relearn how to do stuff you already know, and there are people who can help you with that. It's going to be hard at first, but since you have so much experience walking, you will get the hang of it."

Phillip sat back, brows furrowed. "I wanna have alone time."

John nodded, gently patting Phillip's shoulder. "Okay, we're gonna give you some space. Do you want the iPad? Alex brought it for you."

Phillip paused, then nodded.

John stood up, finding the iPad in the bag, then taking Alex's hand. "Let's go for a walk."

Dr. Newman got the hint and walked out of the room with them. "If anything happens, nurses and doctors get a notice. If the kid leaves the bed, we'll know."

"Thank you," John nodded.

"You think he's gonna be okay?" Alex asked softly.

John nodded. "He's resilient. He'll be okay in the end. He just, he needs to process it, just like anyone else."

"I really respect you as a parent," Alex commented. "I know this is a weird time, but like, you're one of the only parents I've met who actually gives a damn about their kid wanting space and who treats their emotions like they would treat any adults emotions."

"Well, studies show that children are closely related to humans," John laughed. "I dunno, my dad never did any of that for me, and my parenting method has always been to do the opposite of him."

"Wow, you mean doing the opposite of your father makes you a really good parent? Then that must mean..." Alex trailed off, then gasped sarcastically. "He was a bad father?"

John rolled his eyes. "Shocking news, I know."

Alex bumped into John gently as they stepped into the hospital courtyard, sitting down on a bench and sighing. It was warm that day, a bit too humid, but nothing they couldn't handle. Alex rested his head on John's shoulder, closing his eyes. "I'm kinda excited to have a kid with you."

"Yeah, I guess it's kinda exciting," John nodded sarcastically.

Alex rolled his eyes, laughing. "You know I'm excited, John. I mean, thank you. Thanks for letting me be a part of your life and Phillip's life and this baby's life."

"There's no one I'd rather raise a child with," John admitted.

"I'm gonna be an old dad," Alex gasped. "I'm like, thirty-seven."

"Mm, old man," John chuckled.

"I am not old, I'm in my prime," Alex laughed. "You better prepare for your thirties, because they're coming up."

John groaned. "I don't wanna do it. I just wanna stay in my twenties forever. I don't wanna get older."

"Me neither," Alex mumbled. "I'll be fine though, and so will you."

John paused, thinking. "Does balding run in your blood?"

"Hell nah," Alex laughed. "My grandpa on my momma's side had a full head of hair, until the day he died. Long too, big curls, dreadlocks."

"Was your grandpa black?" John asked.

"Mixed Jamaican," Alex clarified. "His wife was purely Puerto Rican though, and then Stevens, the guy who my mom cheated on her husband with, he was a light-skinned Puerto Rican Dominican, so that's why I am light skinned like I am. It doesn't take much to make me tan though. What about you?"

"Uh, my mom was mostly black and Latina," John stated. "My dad is Latino and white, and that created me. My momma had the same skin tone as Phillip, same hair too. My Aunt Gale, she was talking to me a few nights ago, and she gave me a few secrets her and my mother used to do with their hair."

"So much hair," Alex mumbled quietly. "I have to say, I haven't had to unclog my shower drain in like, three months, so I think that's gonna be the only thing I miss when you move back in."

"Okay, well, everytime I say 'I can do it, I've been doing it my whole life, you don't have to do it,' and every time you say 'no no, I really don't mind, it's okay, just let me do it,' so I don't even wanna hear it because I’ve never made you," John laughed.

"I don't want your perfect hands to get dirty," Alex pouted.

John rolled his eyes. "I've literally caught vomit in my hands, and the amount of Phillip's hair that comes out on wash day is usually more than the amount in the drain."

"God, I remember Phillip catching a stomach bug last October, he was so sick," Alex chuckled.

"Poor kid," John pouted. "He was so sick. Then you got sick."

"And when I get sick, I get really sick." Alex squeezed John's hand a bit. "What are we gonna do when Martha's in our guest room and I get sick?"

"I’ll just risk it," John shrugged.

Alex chuckled a bit. "So wait, how's this gonna work?"

"Well, Martha is probably gonna be mostly okay for this trimester, but by the time she hits the six-month mark, her stomach is gonna start really getting bigger. Until then, what I did last time was just, like, go to doctor visits with her, make sure she has the food she craves, which can get difficult. She was pretty independent though until the final trimester."

"What happened in the final trimester?" Alex asked.

John used his arms to show Alex an example, though it was a bit of an exaggeration, of what Martha's stomach looked like. "Usually, towards the end, she needs help getting up, going downstairs, upstairs, sitting down. She can't reach her toes so I paint them for her, and she is always hungry, always peeing, always crying. Last time she was pregnant, she watched the same ASPCA commercial over and over and cried every single time."

"Oh boy," Alex laughed.

John paused, thinking. "Do you really not like her?"

Alex shook his head. "She's okay. I was just being a dick."

"She's really great," John stated. "I dunno, she's a day one."

"I get that," Alex nodded. "And you know something? You don't gotta worry. If I didn't like her, I don't think I'd be okay with her living in my house and eating my food and stealing my boyfriend's attention away from me."

John nodded, pulling out his phone and checking the time. "Come on, it's been a few minutes, let's go check on Pip."

"I know some amputees who were thrown into a depression after this happened, so maybe we should look into counseling for Phillip," Alex suggested as they began walking again. "I mean, I don't want to butt in, but-"

"You're not butting in, he's your kid too," John stated, looking over at Alex.

Alex smiled and nodded. "My kid." He basked in those words for a second, then looked back up. "Anyway, as I was saying, we might just want to put Phillip in counseling, even if he's not spiraling into a deep depression. I mean, you should too. You survived a traumatic experience, you need therapy."

"I've got a lot of shit to handle, right now," John pointed out.

"John, this doesn't end here," Alex stated. "Things like this don't end as soon as they're over. I mean, neither you nor Phillip is gonna walk away from this without some form of PTSD, if Phillip remembers much about this at all. Don't tell me one hour a day, once a week, is going to ruin your entire schedule. I'm saying this because I care about you and because I like you." Alex looked over at John. "You need therapy."

John nodded. "I do."

"As amazing as they are, no self-help book is going to get you through this the way a therapist can," Alex mumbled as they got closer to Phillip's hospital room.

"I've never been to therapy," John admitted.

"Really?" Alex asked sarcastically. "I couldn't tell."

"Whatever, I wasn't that obvious," John scoffed.

"Any man who has ever looked up to his father has never been to therapy," Alex stated.

John nodded a bit, before quietly knocking on the door to Phillip's hospital room, cracking it open a bit and stepping in. "Hey, buddy."

Phillip looked up from the iPad, his mood obviously not improved much.

"Can we come back in?" John asked softly.

Phillip nodded quietly and both John and Alex entered again, sitting down next to Phillip's hospital bed. Alex leaned back a bit, closing his eyes.

John leaned forward a bit, sighing. "Are you hungry for breakfast, buddy?"

"Oh, that's been taken care of," Alex answered.

"Wait, what?" John mumbled.

"I figured we all needed a bit of a pick-me-up so I ordered Dunkin Donuts with Uber Eats so we won't have to go and pick it up." Alex pulled out his phone. "They should be here soon."

"When did you do this?" John asked.

"While you were talking to Dr. Newman," Alex answered. "I mean, I know your orders by heart, and I figured it might be nice."

John nodded. "Donuts and coffee do sound good right now."

It took a few more minutes for the Uber eats guy to get into the hospital room, but he was greeted with smiling faces and tipped well. Phillip cheered up as he ate his donut, and John definitely appreciated the second cup of coffee. Phillip munched on donuts and chocolate milk, talking to Alex and John, asking them what they could do in the hospital.

"Well, we can watch movies, play board games, color, read," John listed.

"And I can stay with you while your papa is at work because I currently do not have a set workplace," Alex smiled.

"Ugh, crap, work.” John groaned, leaning back. “I can probably take tomorrow off, but I’ll have to go back to the day after.”

Alex nodded pointedly. "I’ll be here, don’t worry, it’ll be okay. You should have the doctor check you out at some point though, just to make sure you’re good.” Alex paused, thinking. “I don't think work should be pulling me away too often, seeing as this is none of my..." Alex thought for a second. "I might get pulled away a couple of times. But, not too much."

John nodded, taking Alex's hand. "So, Phillip, do you want a sibling?"

Phillip shook his head. "No thank you."

John raised his eyebrows, sighing and thinking. "What if you got one?"

"I'd feed it to Basil," Phillip answered simply.

Alex snorted, earning a small glare from John. The immigrant quickly straightened up. "Well, Phillip, siblings aren't that bad."

"You called yours a dumbass," Phillip reminded.

" _Phillip_ _Johnathan_ _Laurens_!" John gasped. "I did _not_ just hear that word come out of your mouth! You are _not_ allowed to curse!"

"And for the record, I called him that in a loving way," Alex stated. "You can do that when you're an adult, not a kid. Siblings aren't that bad, really, Phillip. I like my brother a fair amount. And besides, my situation with my brother is pretty unique, and not the best comparison to a real sibling relationship."

"I like it, just us, though," Phillip smiled.

John heaved a sigh, trying to remember how his mom told him about getting a sibling. He decided to give up, for now, finishing off his donut and pulling out his phone. He had a text from his dear girl, so he opened his messages, sipping his coffee a bit.

Martha: Hey baby daddy I figured because your kid is in the hospital you couldn't really meet up, but like, do we have an idea of what's going on?

John: I'm moving in with Alex, and so are you. He said it was cool. Pip's gonna get out of the hospital in about ten days, but we can help you move in after that.

Martha: Focus in your kid, he’s your kid. I have like, a duffle bag of shit and maybe a box of other shit, so I can just show up and unpack myself. I don't really need any help for a while, so I'll be okay. 

John: Are you sure? I can still help.

Martha: I'm fine for the next three months, so just focus on your kid, k? It's okay, I know you care, and I know that regardless of how many times I tell you I'm fine, you're still going to flutter around me like a little bird. I got work, and I got my art, so I'm fine. Just, focus on Pip. He needs you rn.

John: Thank you. I'll see you soon, alright?

Martha: Alright. Love you.

John: Love you too.

John looked up and over at Alex. "Hey."

Alex broke out of his coffee drinking trance, turning his head to face John a bit. "Yeah?"

"Love you," John smiled.

Alex looked back down at his coffee, grinning as his cheeks heated up a bit. "I love you too, Johnny."

-

Ten days passed, and Phillip was being released from the hospital. John had slowly been moving his stuff back to Alex's during the visit and had successfully gotten everything over with the help of Herc, Sally, and James. It was work mostly done in late night after Phillip had fallen asleep, or early in the morning before he had woken up, but the apartment was cleared out of John's things and unpacked boxes rested in Alex's living room, waiting for the arrival of the family. Peggy had been released the day before, and both Washington and Lafayette, as well as any others injured, were at home. Lafayette had a cast around his leg and was walking with crutches for the next month, as well as a special cast that let the wound on his leg heal. Phillip was in a wheelchair and had practiced by wheeling himself very quickly around the hospital. He was also provided with crutches to help in case he wasn't in a wheelchair-friendly place.

"Okay, so, Pip," John started as they got Phillip into the car. "You're going to need help going up and down stairs until you have a prosthetic and are able to walk comfortably."

"Can I just wheel the wheelchair down the stairs?" Phillip asked.

"That's not safe," John pointed out, beginning to drive. "So no."

Phillip groaned. "This is no fun."

"It gets more fun," Alex promised. "PT was always fun, to me at least. And I think it would be a good thing to get real use out of the pool. Trust me, you want to keep the muscles in your leg active. Hurts like hell."

"I don't think I'd know what to do without you, Alex," John mumbled.

"We gotta get some parallel bars at home, it'll help," Alex nodded. "We can check out PT places, but I'm sure the doctor will have some really good suggestions."

"My leg hurts," Phillip mumbled.

"M'kay, honey, we'll get a hot pack on your leg to help," John stated, turning onto a different street. "We're going home-home, alright? Basil is waiting for us there."

"Really?" Phillip asked, smiling widely. "Back with Alex?"

"Back with me," Alex confirmed, grinning. "And Basil has been with Thomas and Jemmy for the past couple of days, but he's gonna be with us too. The whole crew is gonna be back together."

"And Martha," John reminded. "She's probably already there if I'm being honest. What time is it?"

"It's like, ten," Alex answered.

"Then she's probably just waking up actually," John nodded. "She doesn't have work today, so she's not gonna be over for another hour at least. Do we have food in the fridge?"

"It's probably gone bad if we did," Alex admitted half-heartedly.

"Okay, let's order food for everyone when we get home, then clean out the fridge and make a shopping list. Pip, what do you want to do?" John asked.

"I want my leg to stop hurting," Phillip stated.

"Okay, we'll do that first," John stated. "You already took meds today, but we can get you a hot pack for your leg and set you up in the living room, alright?" John sighed, thinking. "What do you want to eat?"

"I'm not hungry," Phillip mumbled. "My stomach hurts."

"He's nauseous from the meds," Alex mumbled. "Would soup be okay? Chicken noodle? Or maybe just broth? I know your stomach is bothering you, but let's get something in you."

"Chicken noodle soup," Phillip answered.

"Okay, we'll make you some when we get home, I have a few cans in my pantry," Alex nodded. "Do you want to watch a movie, Pip?"

"Spider-Verse," Phillip answered plainly.

"Okay, how about I get him set up and you start on soup?" Alex suggested.

"Yeah, and I'll get a hot pack for his leg ready," John nodded. "As well as the soup. Pip, honey, do you want tea or something?"

"Chamomile," Phillip answered.

John paused, thinking, then noticed in the mirror visor that Phillip was rocking himself a bit, his hands running over the booster seat armrest. "Are you stimming, buddy?"

Phillip nodded, not giving a verbal answer.

"What blanket do you want when we get home?" Alex asked, knowing that the kid was finicky about textures sometimes. Alex got it. Sometimes he had sensory overload and the only thing that could help was sitting on the floor of the bathtub while the shower was running and maybe crying if he felt like it.

"Blue," Phillip replied.

John nodded as he pulled up to the house, smiling a bit. "Home sweet home."

"Indeed," Alex agreed. "I'll get med stuff and wheelchair, you get the precious cargo, a'ight?"

John nodded. "Alright."

They all got out, Alex grabbing medical supplies, Phillip's wheelchair, and Phillip's crutches, while John got Phillip out of his booster seat and carried him inside to the living room. Basil was heard in the backyard, barking, and barking, and John knew Alex was going to let him in a quick second. Alex set Phillip's things down in the living room before quickly beginning to assemble a good thing to help Phillip deal with phantom pain. Alex was grateful Phillip never became septic and got permanent nerve damage, because he knew how awful chronic pain was.

"Alright, buddy," Alex started, gently wrapping the blanket around Phillip. "I'm gonna elevate your leg on a pillow so it will hurt less. What else do you need?"

"More pillows," Phillip answered.

Alex provided the kid with a couple. Two were placed on either side of Phillip for a tighter, more secure feeling, and then one was placed on his lap to touch. Alex made sure the blanket was around Pip's shoulders well enough before standing up and turning on Spiderverse. He had just bought the movie on iTunes so he always had it on his TV. On nights during the break, when he missed John and Phillip more than usual, he would watch it and cry into his takeout.

"Okay, do you have everything you need?" Alex asked. "Your papa and I will be right back up when your food is done, and we'll have a hot pack for your leg, and some tea and soup."

Phillip nodded, running his fingers along with the pillow, still rocking a bit.

Alex smiled and kissed the top of Phillip's head. "Alright, love you buddy."

"Love you too, dad," Phillip said, almost absentmindedly as he watched the movie start.

Alex paused, cocking his head at Phillip, who seemed to have no awareness of the fact that he had just called Alex dad. Alex waited for a second, wondering if there was going to be some sort of realization on Phillip's part, but it didn't happen, so Alex walked downstairs. John had the tea maker on and was stirring the soup. Basil, who had been let in, was sitting next to John, but happily trotted over and licked Alex's hand a couple of times.

"Phillip just called me dad," Alex stated, sitting down at the counter and looking over the stack of newspapers that had been building up.

John looked up, his eyes wide. "He what?"

"He called me dad," Alex nodded, his eyes on the counter as he ran his fingers through the grout between the tiles. They were nice tiles and had held up throughout the years. Beige, about five inches by five inches, done nicely. Alex had hired someone since his counters were originally wooden. It wasn't too expensive, and Alex liked the sound that glass cups sounded when they were set down on the counter. He liked his counters. John had one night mentioned they looked like bathroom flooring, but the conversation was quickly forgotten as it had led to a blowjob.

"Uh, why?" John asked.

"I don't know," Alex shrugged. "He just kinda did it."

"Did you, did you say anything about it to him?" John continued.

"No, I just, I turned on the movie, told him I loved him, and then he said 'I love you too, dad,' and then just... began watching the movie." Alex shrugged again, licking his thumb and rubbing a bit of dirt off the grout, directing his attention anywhere but John.

"Huh," John mumbled. "I suppose it was bound to happen."

Alex looked up. "Oh?"

"I mean, come on, you're basically his other parent, he wasn't going to call you Alex forever." John shrugged and stirred the soup. "You're Phillip's other parent in every sense besides legal."

"Oh," Alex nodded, trying to hold back his smile.

John leaned over, gently kissing Alex's head. "Love you."

Alex chuckled standing up and wrapping his arms around John's waist, standing behind the younger man and resting his head on John's shoulder. "Love you, love you, love you, love you. My John, my love."

John smiled, relishing in the contact, before pulling a bowl down and dumping Phillip's soup in it. He poured half the water from the tea maker into a cup with a chamomile tea bag, and the other half into a hot pack for Phillip's leg. Alex grabbed the mug and the hot pack while John grabbed the soup and the two of them went upstairs, Basil right on their trail.

"Careful, it's all hot," John reminded Phillip, setting down the stuff on the side table. John and Alex placed themselves on the couch, John grabbing a blanket and throwing it over his legs. Alex laid back, resting his head on John's thigh while Basil curled up between Alex's legs, resting his head on the immigrant's thigh and letting out a sound of happiness.

"What should we have for breakfast?" Alex asked quietly.

"Mm, I don't know," John mumbled, running his fingers through Alex's hair. "That Indian place is open, and it delivers."

Alex looked up at John. "You want Indian for breakfast?"

"Yes," John nodded. "Get Martha red curry, she's gonna want it eventually."

Alex chuckled, standing up, much to Basil's annoyance, and pulling out his phone. "Okay, I'll make our orders." Alex pecked John's head, then walked out of the room, smiling to himself.

"Do you like your soup?" John asked softly, looking over at Phillip.

Phillip nodded.

"Does your stomach still hurt?" John continued.

Phillip shook his head.

John nodded a bit, reaching over and gently rubbing Phillip's shoulder. "Would you like it if Alex and I got married?"

Phillip looked over. "Yes."

John smiled a bit. "Okay, cool."

"Are you guys gonna get married?" Phillip asked.

John looked over at Alex, who was standing just outside the living room, ordering take out and smiling to the employee. "Yes, I think we are."

A few seconds later, Alex walked back in. "Alright, Indian food is ordered." He flopped back down on the couch, curling up against John a little bit. "Miles is still so perfect, no matter how many times I see this movie."

John smiled, gently curling Alex's hair in his fingers as they watched the film. Their food came, and John placed Martha's in the fridge before sitting back down and eating. He got a text from her, saying she was on her way and showed Alex, who laughed a bit at the lipstick kiss emoji and the one with the nails being painted by her name.

"What emojis does my name have?" Alex asked.

John scrolled through his messages, then clicked on Alex's log, showing his phone to Alex. "See for yourself."

"Hubby," Alex read aloud, chuckling a bit. He smiled at the ring emoji, as well as the heart emoji and then the peach emoji. It seemed that John had a specific set of emojis for everyone, as well as a nickname. It was cute.

"Husband material," John muttered.

"Sometimes," Alex nodded, closing his eyes a bit. All of them were a bit tired since it had been an early morning for them, but John was happy to be able to eat his food. His stomach headache from hunger for the past four hours, but was now happily filled. He was close to being done when the doorbell rang.

"That's probably Martha," John muttered to himself softly. He stood from the couch, chuckling slightly at Alex's whine of protest, then went to get the door. Martha stood in the doorway, looking bored. She had a box in her arms, a computer bag slung over one shoulder, and a duffle bag slung over the other. Without thinking, John took the box.

"Good morning, John," Martha smiled, leaning in and kissing John's cheek. She looked comfortable, just in a large sweater and a pair of leggings, her hair tied back neatly. She had her glasses on, but new ones from the last time John saw her with glasses.

"Come in, come in," John ushered quickly. "It's chilly out."

"I guess," Martha shrugged. "How's your first morning home?"

"Pip and Alex are watching a movie," John started as he lead Martha to the third floor. "There's curry for you in the fridge if you want it, and you can join us if you would like to."

"Sounds wonderful, but I have a piece of art I need to analyze today. Can I work in your kitchen?" Martha asked as John pushed open the door to the guest room, which had been given new sheets since the last time someone slept there.

"Of course, yeah," John nodded. "How are you feeling?"

"Nauseous, moody, tired," Martha groaned. "Nice room though."

John set her box gently on the floor. "Do you need help unpacking? Or, maybe, like, with anything? Have you taken your vitamins?"

Martha rolled her eyes. "Gonna take 'em with the food since I haven't eaten yet today. I have a doctors appointment in a week."

"Alright, cool," John nodded. "So does Pip."

"How is he?" Martha asked softly, her Brooklyn gruff quickly chipping away at signs of vulnerability in her friend.

John shrugged. "He's in pain, we're just trying to get him through it, you know? Alex is a big help since he's done all this before. Are you throwing up?"

"Yeah, I threw up this morning," Martha nodded. "I've been throwing up after dinner though too. It's weird, I never did that with Phillip."

"Yeah, your vomiting was usually only in the morning," John nodded, walking out of the room with her to take her down to the kitchen. "We need to go shopping today, so how about you come with us? You can pick out some food that looks good to you since I know how picky you get. It's probably gonna be just you and me because the doctor said I should keep Phillip at home for a little while to decrease chances of infection."

"Do you guys have orange juice?" Martha asked.

"No, but we can buy some," John replied.

Martha nodded. "Cool, because the only things I've been craving are orange juice, plain flavorless popcorn, and spicy stuff."

"Alright," John started, taking her into the kitchen. "Your food is in the fridge, bowls are in that cabinet, spoons and forks are in that drawer, outlets for charging, sit wherever. The wifi password is one, twenty-two, thirteen, and then PJA, all uppercase with no spaces."

"This is much nicer than that studio we lived in," Martha jeered, pulling her sleek Chromebook out of her bag and setting it on the table. "I'll miss the perks, though."

"Funny," John snorted, knowing exactly what she was talking about.

"I know, I know, you have a man and shit like that," Martha chuckled, taking her curry out of the fridge.

"I'll buy you a new vibrator to make up for my monogamy," John smiled.

"Aw, you do care," Martha teased, pinching John's cheek before putting her bowl of curry and rice into the microwave since it had cooled down a bit. "Don't worry about it though, I'll be fine, and I'll do it in the privacy of my own room since there's a kid in the house."

"How thoughtful," John nodded sarcastically. "Okay, I gotta get back up to the family. If you need anything, just holler, alright?"

Martha gave John a thumbs up. "Thanks for the curry."

"Anytime," John replied, jogging up the stairs and back into the living room. Phillip was laughing at Basil and Alex playing while the movie continued. Basil was sneezing, mouth open, trying to catch Alex's hands. Whenever he occasionally did, the dog would quickly let go, offering a few apologetic licks and then beginning to play again.

"She settled?" Alex asked, looking up at John as he continued to play with Basil.

"Think so," John nodded. "She's in the kitchen, working and eating curry. She's got an art piece she needs analyze for work."

"She's a writer for a magazine, right?" Alex asked.

"Photographer, really," John stated, sitting back down on the couch and picking up his food again. "But she occasionally writes. She's an artist too." John pulled out his phone, taking a second to find a few of her works, which she always sends to him. "It's a lot of protest art, street art, things like that."

Alex nodded. "It looks really nice."

"It is," John chuckled, putting his phone away and leaning a bit more against Alex. "Mm, love you. Love you, love you, love you."

"Love you too," Alex responded lightly, cuddling closer to John.

"How are you, buddy?" John asked, tilting his head a bit so he could see Phillip. The kid had finished the soup and was sipping his tea, which made John happy. "Does your stomach still hurt?"

Phillip shook his head.

"Alright, good," John nodded. "How's your leg?"

"It feels weird, tingly," Phillip stated.

"Does it hurt?" John asked.

Phillip shook his head. "Not too bad."

"Okay, tell me if it gets too bad," John said softly, reaching over and brushing a few curls out of Phillip's face.

"Who is here?" Phillip asked.

John turned a bit to look at Phillip. "Papa's friend Martha is staying here for a little bit. Not forever, but for a while. Does that sound good?"

Phillip nodded slowly, sipping his tea.

The day went on, and John and Martha went out to get some food. John forgot what grocery shopping was like with a pregnant Martha, but quickly remembered when she put a bulk bag of frozen shrimp and a bulk container of frosting in the cart. She was a bit ditzy, as she usually was when she was pregnant, but still very focused.

When they got home, Martha chugged a large glass of orange juice, then set to work making some shrimp. Alex gagged when she walked into the living room, dipping her shrimp in funfetti frosting, but John just elbowed him, reminding him that she was pregnant.

"Hi, Phillip," Martha smiled, sitting down on the love seat.

"Hi," Phillip replied, smiling a little bit. "Why are you eating that?"

Martha looked at her shrimp with frosting. "You know, I really wish I could give you a solid answer, but it's the only thing that looks good to me."

"Really?" Alex asked. "Shrimp and frosting?"

"I once watched this girl put relish, mustard, and onions on vanilla ice cream, you guys are rookies," John snorted, looking up from his phone.

"John's seen me eat some nasty stuff," Martha nodded.

"Stoner foods came in handy," John chuckled.

Martha chuckled, dipping a shrimp in some frosting and taking a bite. "You know, this actually isn't that bad. John, try some." She dipped a shrimp in frosting and held it out to John.

"This is her form of revenge," John clarified, taking an extended shrimp. He took the extended seafood frosting monstrosity and then took a bite. His mouth curved downwards in displeasure as he chewed. He swallowed, then finished off the part of the shrimp that didn't have the frosting on it. "That's  _ absolutely _ disgusting."

"It's good," Martha defended. "Little Alexander Hamilton likes it."

Alex gave her a weird look.

"It's her joke," John chuckled. "She thinks it's funny."

"Because it is," Martha smiled.

John directed his attention back to How To Train Your Dragon, another one of Phillip's favorite movies. Martha leaned back a bit, rubbing her stomach a bit as she ate. Phillip looked drowsy, but John figured it was probably from the pain meds he was taking.

The day was slow and relaxing. Martha finished her shrimp and frosting monstrosity and spent her time drawing. The Hamilton-Laurens family was unaware that she had been drawing them all day, and Martha figured she’d give them to John at one point, but for now, she was gonna do a bit more detailing. While drawing, she couldn't help but see how happy John was, especially when Alex would say something stupid about whatever movie they were watching. It made her feel good. She had witnessed John in a couple of bad relationships in college, so seeing him with someone who really made him happy put ease into her heart.

Eventually, after dinner, people got tired. Martha passed out on the love seat and was awoken by Alex, who made sure she got up to her room and tucked in. Martha was especially ditzy when she was tired, but not terribly difficult.

"Wait, wait, Alex," Martha said softly, grabbing his hand and pressing it to her. "It's your baby too."

Alex tensed for a second, but softened, feeling the bump on her stomach. He smiled a bit. "Thank you, Martha."

She grinned tiredly, letting go of his hand and pulling a blanket over her. "You think you love John now, but just wait until you see him get pumped up for the kid. It's the best thing in the world, I think."

Alex tilted his head a bit, a smile still gracing his lips, before turning and walking out of the room. He went downstairs to the kitchen, where he began making a sleepy time drink for Phillip. He knew Phillip was going to have trouble going to sleep, so he figured he might as well make it a bit easier.

"Can you crush this up and put it in there?" John asked, handing Alex a pill. "Assuming that's for Pip."

"I mean, sure, but what is it?" Alex asked, grabbing a spoon to crush the pill.

"Sleep medication Pip's doctor recommended, but Phillip doesn't like taking pills so..." John shrugged, getting himself a glass of water. "He wants to sleep with us tonight."

"Okay," Alex nodded, dumping the powdered sleep medication in the milk and honey and cinnamon.

"I don't think we're gonna get a night alone for a while," John mumbled.

"It's fine," Alex assured his lover, dumping the drink into a mug. "I mean, it doesn't bother me. Frankly, I like to believe this relationship could sustain itself with total abstinence. We'd probably do more puzzles or knit or something, but still."

"Thank you," John said softly, pulling Alex into his arms.

Alex smiled, gently kissing the crook of John's neck. "It's nice to have you home."

"Oh?" John mumbled, knowing he hadn't been back here really since Alex had asked him to leave. He did agree, it was really nice to be back here. He missed this place.

"Mm, yeah," Alex nodded. "It's nice to have pictures back up on the wall. Nice to feel like this house is a home again, you know?"

John nodded, kissing the side of Alex's head. "I love you."

"I love you too, John." 

 


	33. Martha Is About To Kick John's Ass

**** It was a cold November day. John was at work, Phillip was at school, and Alex and Martha were at home together. Both of them were in the living room. Alex was typing rapidly, trying to finish up some campaign information for Katie. They had already begun their brainstorming for his run for governor, since his campaign would become public in a few months. That wasn't to say rumors weren't flying, and Alex hadn't hinted on multiple occasions that he was to run. Martha was doing quite the opposite of Alex, lying back on the couch, feet elevated and swollen, stomach ready to pop. The due date had passed two days ago, and Martha was in hell. She was swollen, sick, and overall uncomfortable, but the heating pad was helping.

The past six months had gone by at warp speed. Phillip had received his prosthetic and was getting much better at walking. He still used a crutch at the moment, just to help keep his balance, but he was doing better. His leg had healed, and while it had been a long painful process, the phantom pain had faded for the most part, and Phillip was almost ready to walk on his own.

Both John and Phillip had begun attending therapy, and Alex had gone back, since the bombing had brought up some things for him. John had never been to a therapist before, but was surprised at how comfortable it was. He saw Dr. Jamison, a black woman who worked in downtown Manhattan. She was mostly professional but occasionally fell back into her Brooklyn projects speak, which never bothered John. Phillip saw a children’s therapist named Olivia, who was sweet and comforting. Phillip really liked her and didn't quite understand what the point of therapy was, but made progress regardless. Alex went back to his old therapist, a gruff Latino vet who Alex could speak purely in Spanish to, because Alex had an easier time navigating himself in Spanish.

Alex's workplace was still being rebuilt. New water systems and carpeting were being put into place, and every worker had gotten a hefty insurance payout. Most of that money went to medical expenses. Funerals for lost coworkers were held and cried for. Alex attended those alone, which most employees did. It didn't feel right to Alex to put John through grief he needn't feel. Alex stood next to Lafayette, Thomas, and Peggy, holding a solemn expression for the four funerals he attended. He knew these people, and had often talked to them, but was not close enough to them to cry. He had become so numb to death that it would take much more than a common work colleague to get him to react.

Regardless of the sorrow, there were many good things that had happened since then. The baby was about to be born, and John had spent six months helping Phillip and preparing the house for a baby. A crib was bought, baby clothes were purchased, a few of Phillip's old books were pulled out. Alex had studied several baby books, and despite his ego, practiced diapering and holding on a doll. At this point, Alex could diaper anything, including Basil, which had been more than an annoyance for the dog, and a show for Phillip. He had taken whatever information John would give him and absorbed it. He felt ready to help raise a baby, though John knew no one could ever be fully prepared to have a kid.

John felt more prepared than he did last time. He remembered what was unnecessary, what worked, what didn't. Alex had suggested buying a baby bath, but John had assured him that sinks and showers were just as easy and didn't take up space. John had also warned Alex that babies got slippery, and he always had to have a good grip. John also bought the medicine for teething, remembering how it took him awhile to find one for Phillip. A teething mitten, which worked surprisingly well, and Boiron to rub on the gums. Those two things and the baby would be out for the night. Alex was almost mesmerized by the way John spoke of babies. To Alex, babies had always been some foreign thing, an alien almost. Now he was about to have one in his house.

The first time he felt the baby move in Martha's stomach, he’d screamed, falling backward. John, on the other hand, was infatuated. Often times, he could be found, sitting on the floor while Martha sat on the couch, touching her stomach and talking to the fetus. He would sing, tell dad jokes, and tell stories. More often than not, he'd pull Alex and Phillip down there with him so they would talk to the baby too. At first, Alex thought it was John being close with Martha, but then Alex realized that John was doing it for the baby, and now, more often than not when talking to Martha, he would ask 'how's baby doing?' before anything else. It was cute to see John so frazzled, and so happy at the same time.

They finally told Phillip about the pregnancy, a few weeks after Martha moved in. That lead to a very long conversation between John and Phillip about who Phillip's mom was, which ended in John telling the truth. Or, most of the truth. He didn't go into detail about the  _ how,  _ since John knew that would earn him a smack on the head from Phillip's therapist, but John told him most things. He told Phillip that Martha had held him in her belly for nine months, just for John, and that's what she was doing with his sibling. John didn't mention the fact that usually when women have children, they are mommies, and instead told Phillip that all families came together differently, and this was how theirs came together. Phillip was still a little confused, but understood enough to know that John and Alex were his parents, and that Martha had just helped in the process of making him.

Phillip was still annoyed that he had to have a sibling, but John knew he would soften. It was how John had felt when he found out he was getting a sibling too. Overall, everyone was excited about the new addition to their family. By John's request, the gender of the child was unknown, and names had been narrowed down a bit to a small pool. John said he hadn’t known Phillip's name until he saw Phillip, so he was just gonna go with the flow. Alex was leaving the name choosing up to John, since he didn’t have any real opinions about it.

Hercules and Lafayette got married during those six months. The wedding was in France, so John, Phillip, and Alex attended, and Martha stayed behind. This was when she was still mostly pretty small, so no worries were given. And the wedding was beautiful. Alex was Laf’s best man, and John was Hercules’. The wedding photos were beautiful, and there wasn't a dry eye in sight. The whole affair had taken place in Lafayette's grandmother's backyard, in the evening. It was beautiful, with fairy lights strung everywhere- just as extravagant as Lafayette had wanted. John, never having been to Paris, was in awe at everything, and let Alex show him and Phillip around the city. They did some touristy Paris things, the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, and John and Alex even spent a night alone in a hotel that was tucked away in downtown Paris. John had thoroughly enjoyed that, and he had made sure that Alex did too.

"Hey, Alex?" Martha asked, attempting to push herself up a bit. Her stomach was heavy, and Martha had always had a skinny waist, most of her fat being held in her hips and thighs, so she wasn't used to the extra poundage. Because clothing had become increasingly uncomfortable, she just wore a very loose sports bra, since her boobs hurt like hell, and a loose pair of grey shorts, that were originally sweatpants, but had been cut into shorts.

Alex looked up from his laptop, glasses perched low on his nose. He expected her to say something about labor since she had been having random contractions since last night. Her water hadn't broken yet, and her contractions hadn't become consistent though. "Yes?"

Martha smiled a bit, rubbing her stomach. "Can you help me to the kitchen? I'm hungry."

Alex nodded, standing up and offering his hand. "What's on the menu today?"

Martha took his hand and moved into sitting position, getting ready for Alex to help her up. "Orange juice and cake."

Alex helped pull her up, grunting a little bit. "Sounds delicious."

Martha leaned against Alex a bit as he helped her to the stairway. "Yes, I've been wanting it for the past hour, but I needed to be emotionally ready to stand up, and it took another episode of Riverdale to get there."

"I don't see what's so great about that show," Alex stated honestly. "I mean, it's really unbelievable."

"That's the best part, Alex," Martha smiled. "When I watch that show, I don't have to think, I don't have to like, go on some philosophical journey. It's just me and an equally terrible and wonderful storyline. Don't you ever like to indulge in brain candy all on your own?"

Alex shook his head. "I watch Disney movies with John, but when it's my turn with the remote, I usually go for a French film, something old and good."

Martha rolled her eyes as they entered the kitchen. "Men exhaust me."

"Yes, we are the more gentle sex," Alex agreed.

Martha laughed. "That's the first time I've ever heard that phrase in reference to a man."

"Men are too gentle, too sensitive to admit their weakness, and have unfortunately been coddled, leading them to believe they are truly better than those who possess real power," Alex mumbled lightly, leaning against the counter as Martha went to the fridge.

"Okay, that's-" Martha was cut off by the sound of liquid hitting the floor.

"Did you spill?" Alex asked absentmindedly.

"Yeah, out of my vagina," Martha answered. She let out a long groan, placing her hand on the counter. "Oh, boy, that's a contraction right there."

Alex looked up in concern. "Did your water just break?"

Martha turned to face Alex, with a bored look. "Yes, it did."

Alex jumped. "Ah! Shit! I gotta call John!"

"You don't have to call him yet," Martha mumbled, reaching her hand down to feel the wet spot on her shorts. "Maybe some better pants for me though"

"John, John, hi, it's Alex," Alex gasped into the phone.

"Oh, my God, you're actually calling him."

"John, Martha is in labor," Alex spat out.

John, who was in the middle of teaching a class, jumped. "She's in labor?"

"Yeah! Her water just broke, and I don't know what to-" Alex gasped when Martha snatched the phone out of his hand. "Hey!"

"Hi, John," Martha chuckled sarcastically into the phone. "I am in labor, but my contractions are probably a ways apart. They've been random, and I had one right after my water broke, like, a minute ago, so they're probably gonna get consistent now. I'll text you the next one happens, alright? They're probably not close together, so we got time."

"Oh, okay, Alex freaked me out, thanks," John laughed. "Uh, you know the deal. Walk around if you need too, now's probably a good time to just stick to liquids so vomiting won't be painful. Put Alex on the phone so I can let him know what to do?"

Martha nodded, handing the phone back to Alex.

"Hey, Lex, take a deep breath," John coaxed. "We don't need to go to the hospital until Martha's contractions are six to eight minutes apart, and most likely, they're still double that. I need you to help her get some new pants on, make sure she has a bucket in case she starts throwing up, which she probably will. Get her plenty of liquids, time her contractions, and keep me updated, alright? I'll be home in an hour, and then we'll probably leave for the hospital after that, okay? Everything is good."

"Are you sure we shouldn't just go now?" Alex asked.

"Yes, I'm sure," John answered. "I love you, and I'll see you soon."

"Okay, I love you too," Alex nodded before hanging up. He looked up at Martha, who had pulled out the leftover cake, and was indulging herself in it. "Didn't John say to just have liquids or something?"

"John's not the boss of me," Martha laughed.

"I'm gonna get you a water bottle," Alex confirmed, pulling out a bottle from the cabinet and filling it with water.

"And a bucket or something for when I start to throw up," Martha smiled. "It should be happening soon, especially with the cake I'm eating."

"Shouldn't you stop?" Alex asked.

Martha nodded, taking another bite. "Yup."

"Won't you regret it?" Alex continued.

"Nope."

Half an hour later, Martha was vomiting into a bucket, cursing herself for eating the cake. Her contractions were coming at every ten minutes, so it was almost time to get to the hospital. Alex had texted John, telling him that he probably should come home, and John agreed, assuring Alex he'd be home soon. For now, Alex was tying back Martha's big afro style hair back so no vomit would get into it. She was groaning, holding her swollen stomach.

"I regret the cake," she admitted.

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked, knowing another contraction should be coming up any moment now.

"I'm feeling-" Martha let out a long groan, hunching over her stomach a bit. "Like shit. I'm feeling like shit."

"Okay, resetting the stopwatch," Alex muttered, checking his phone and lapping it so they could keep track of how far apart other contractions were. "You are at about ten minutes, but it's a low ten minutes. John should be here soon." Alex held out a water bottle. "Here, hydrate."

Martha took the extended bottle, taking a sip and leaning back. "It's kicking."

Alex placed his hand on her stomach, feeling the baby kick back a little bit. It was a gentle kick, but it still made Alex jump. He wasn't used to it and was excited for the baby to just be out of her stomach.

"Hey! I'm here!" John yelled, entering the house. He made his way up into the living room, where Martha was sitting on the floor with Alex, a bucket of vomit in front of her. John instantly sat down next to her, rubbing her stomach a bit. "Hey, where are we with contractions? Also, I called Aaron and Dosia, they're gonna spend the night at our place with Phillip."

"About ten minutes, still," Alex stated. "Are we sure we shouldn't just go to the hospital right now? I mean, like, what's the harm?"

"In this economy?" Martha scoffed. "Yeah, right. You aren't gonna jack up my insurance rates because you've never had a kid before. We are waiting until it is time."

"When is it time?" Alex asked, eyes wide.

"Six minutes," Martha mumbled. "God, John, I'm never sleeping with you again. I don't care if I got an IUD, I'm on birth control, and you wear four hundred condoms, it ain't happening."

"Oh, yeah, like you could resist me," John snorted. "You said this last time you were going into labor too."

"Damn your right," Martha whispered into the bucket. "Dick game just too strong."

"I'm right here," Alex pointed out.

"So agree with me," Martha stated. "You know it's true."

Alex nodded, snorting a bit. "Yeah, he proves it every time."

"Twice last night, God," Martha muttered. "Those walls aren't as thick as you like to think, so I would suggest adding a bit more insulation."

"Well, Alex and I, between our sinful fuck sessions, were talking about doing up the attic a little bit, making it nicer, putting up some drywall-"

"I never agreed to that," Alex cut in. "Exposed brick is nice."

"How will we hang up pictures?" John scoffed.

"There are plenty of ways to do it without drilling," Alex shot back. "And besides, exposed brick is so much prettier than-"

"Hey, not to ruin your moment, but I'm kinda in labor," Martha jut in. "And for the record, Alex is right. Exposed brick is way prettier than drywall. You guys just need to build a wall to block out sound, and maybe leave a little space for something else, like a library or whatever."

John nodded. "Alright, that actually sounds nice."

"We'll work on the design more when we have time," Alex confirmed.

"Glad I could help," Martha smiled sarcastically. "My tits hurt like a motherfucker. I'm ready to start pumping like, right now."

"And remember, please don't smoke pot or drink or do any drugs while pumping," John reminded. "I know it's kinda your thing, but-"

"Bah, don't worry about it," Martha nodded. "I've kinda been meaning to get more sober recently, get in a different headspace. Plus, because I've been totally sober for like, nine months, I've really been flowing on my art, which is kinda nice, so I'll stay away from drugs, at least until I'm done pumping."

"Thank you," John nodded.

Another half hour passed and then another, and soon enough, it was time to go. Martha's contractions were six minutes apart, she had officially vomited everything in her stomach, and she was in a large amount of pain. John grabbed her phone and charger, as well as her headphones, then they all went out to the car. Their neighbor, Abby, waved to them on her front porch, causing Alex to stop and wave back.

"Get that child out of that poor girl, now," Abby stated, shaking her finger at Alex. "Lord knows no one should have to put up with you that long."

"Thanks, Abby, we will," Alex promised, getting into the driver's seat. John helped a yelling Martha into the back seat. She was groaning, tears practically running down her face. John got in next to her, holding her hand and trying to comfort her as Alex began driving.

"Hey, deep breaths, deep breaths," John said softly.

"You take deep breaths, shit face," Martha snapped.

"I know, I know," John nodded, remembering how mean she got last time she was in labor. He knew it was nothing against him, she was in pain.

"I wanna push," Martha groaned. "I want this thing out of me!"

"Almost there," John promised.

"Ah!" Martha gasped, clutching her stomach. "Fuck! That hurt! Ow! Son of a bitch! Fucking contraction!"

"Okay, okay, remembering the breathing exercises the birth teacher taught you," John said calmly, trying not to cry out from how hard she was squeezing his hand.

Martha began breathing like that, and John wiped her cheeks. They had a go-bag ready, which had some things for Martha, and a blanket for the new baby. The guest room hadn't been turned into a nursery yet, due to Martha's stay, but she was going to go back to her apartment after she was released from the hospital, and it would be a quick turn to make it a nursery. John had attempted to toy with the idea of turning Alex's office into a nursery, which was quickly met with a 'no.' All the puppy dog eyes in the world could not convince Alex to change his mind, but John didn't fight it. Alex's house had turned into a baby heaven, so the man deserved a child free spot, and frankly, John figured it was going to be put to use if the walls were really as thin as Martha said they were.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, fuck!" Martha groaned. "It all hurts. I feel nauseous."

"Oh, God, please don't throw up in my car, please don't throw up in my car," Alex begged.

"Alex, I am hours away from pushing out your child, your car should be the least of your worries," Martha pointed out, her temper quite obvious. "This is misdirected anger, and I want you to know that I'm not mad at you!"

"Oh?" Alex mused.

"Yeah! I'm mad at John!" Martha gasped. "Motherfucker can't learn to use a  _ damn  _ condom once in his life! I get it, dude, we were drunk, very drunk, but  _ really _ ? Four times and you couldn't remember a condom once?"

"How do you know I forgot a condom all four times?" John gasped. "Maybe I remembered once!"

"You forgot all four times and I know this because my cooch was leaking for the next week!" Martha gasped. "Rude!"

"Hold on, you  _ knew  _ I jizzed in you a week after, and I didn't find out you were pregnant for three months?" John asked.

"I didn't know I was ovulating!" Martha groaned. "I wasn't, but I forgot sperm can kinda stay in there!"

"What does ovulating mean?" John asked.

"You so  _ obviously _ went to Catholic school!" Martha yelled.

"Okay, we are at the hospital!" Alex announced. "You two, get out. I gotta go park the car."

John helped Martha out and Alex pulled into a large parking garage. John helped Martha into the hospital, the go bag over his shoulder. She could barely walk and was groaning loudly, very obviously in labor.

"Hey, hello," John started, standing at the front desk. "She's kinda in labor, I was wondering if we could get a room?"

"Fucking southerner," Martha snapped. "If I don't get a place to lie down right now, I am going to vomit all over this waiting room!"

The receptionist nodded quickly. "Can I get a wheelchair? We’ve got an active labor."

"Oh yeah, this shit is active alright!" Martha gasped, sitting down in a provided wheelchair. "Oh, God, this shit hurts! Oww!" Martha gasped, hunching over as a nurse began wheeling her to a room. "Motherfucker!"

"Okay, Martha, deep breaths," John coaxed.

"Okay, Momma, we're gonna take you in here," the nurse cooed.

"Don't call me Momma," Martha snapped, looking at the nurse. "This bastard knocked me up, but ain't  _ nobody  _ calls me Momma!"

"Okay, Martha, I think you're misdirecting your anger at the nurse when really you should-"

Martha cut John off. "Be angry at you! You son of a bitch! Do you know  _ nothing  _ about condoms?"

"I don't," John nodded softly as she was wheeled into a room.

"Okay, honey, we're gonna get you up on the bed, and I'm gonna call in a doctor to check to see how dilated you are," the nurse stated, helping Martha stand up.

"Oh, I can't lie down yet," Martha stated. She placed both hands on the bed, leaning over a bit and breathing heavily. "Oh, God, John, John, please come back."

"I never left," John stated softly, rubbing her back. "Deep breaths, there we go."

"Oh God, I can't do this, John, I can't do this. I'm scared. I'm scared. Oh, I don't want to do this, I can't, I don't, John please help." Martha looked up at John, tears in her eyes. "I'm so scared, John."

"Hey, hey," John said softly. "I'm right here. You've done this before, and you can do this again. I'm gonna be right here the whole time. I'm right here. Don't worry, you're gonna be okay, I promise. I'm right here, and I'm not leaving."

"John, I'm not doing this again. If you knock me up again, I'm getting an abortion, and I know that might hurt your feelings, but it's my choice, and-"

"Okay, that's okay, I don't think we're ever gonna be hooking up again though," John stated softly.

"Yeah, because you have a really good boyfriend and okay I need to lie down right now," Martha groaned.

"Hey, I'm here," Alex gasped. "Nurses wouldn't let me through for a second. How is everything?"

"We need to get her on the bed," John stated.

Alex nodded and helped Martha onto the hospital bed. It was a bit of a process, Martha almost vomiting on John, but eventually, she got up on the bed, lying back and letting out a cry as she gripped her stomach.

She sat up, groaning a bit. "Hey, get the hospital gown on me, I don't want to deal with this later."

"Yes, sure," John nodded. He helped her out of her shirt and shorts, causing Alex to look away quickly, not wanting to make her feel violated. John got the hospital gown on her, then opened up the go bag and pulled out some soft socks for Martha, which she had picked out herself. John then pulled out a soft blanket for Martha, who instantly cuddled up to it, as well as her phone.

"Did you pick out a birthing song this time?" Martha asked, hugging the blanket.

"No, not this time," John stated.

"Then I want Dark Side Of The Moon playing," Martha stated.

Alex laughed. "Why?"

"Dude, have you ever watched Wizard Of Oz while playing that?" Martha gasped, unlocking her phone. "It's fucking trippy. I want to know if it does the same thing while giving birth, you know?" Martha rolled on her side. "That's better."

"You got a few minutes until your next contraction," John warned.

Martha groaned.

"Hello, everyone!" A doctor smiled, walking in. She was tall, with very black skin and short hair. "How's our mother-to-be feeling?"

"I'm feeling great," John smiled.

"Mm, this isn't my kid, I'm just holding it for them," Martha groaned, rolling onto her back. "You need to check out my cooch, right?"

"To put it bluntly, yes," the doctor laughed. "I'm Dr. Anderson, it's very nice to meet you all."

"I'm Martha, that daddy number one, John, and that's daddy number two, Alex," Martha introduced. "This kid is biologically one of theirs, but I don't remember whose."

Alex gave John a confused look, but it was only met with a shrug.

"Okay, put your feet right here," Dr. Anderson directed, undoing two footrests from the table for Martha. She sat down on a stool between Martha's legs, putting on a glove. "You're about five centimeters dilated."

"How dilated does she have to be to give birth?" Alex asked.

"Ten," Martha groaned. "We're gonna be here a while."

"How are your contractions?" Dr. Anderson asked.

"Painful, really painful," Martha groaned. "Nothing to be worried about though, they were this painful last time."

"Oh, this is your second pregnancy?" Dr. Anderson asked.

Martha flipped off John.

"Have you experienced any issues during your pregnancy?" Dr. Anderson continues. "Even little things that might not be on your chart."

"Well I-" Martha cringed, hugging the blanket, and John was immediately at her side, gently rubbing her stomach, letting her squeeze his hand. It took a few seconds for the pain to subside enough for Martha to let out a few curses, wiping her cheeks before looking back to the doctor. "I threw up way more with this pregnancy."

"That can happen," the doctor stated. "Any bleeding?"

"No," Martha replied.

"Do we know the gender?" The doctor asked.

"Not yet," John shrugged.

"Alright, well, I'm gonna give you a quick ultrasound, just to make sure everything is in the right direction, alright?" Dr. Anderson smiled, standing up. "Just to make sure everything is all good."

"Oh, hey, I'm getting a call from Aaron," Alex mumbled. He picked up the phone, putting it on speaker so John could hear as well. "Hey, dude, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, just called to see how it's going," Aaron replied.

"It's going good, we're gonna be here a while though," John replied. "Make sure Phillip gets his meds, and he might need help going upstairs, use the Apple remote for the TV, Basil gets one cup of food and he takes it with chicken broth, not water. You two feel free to sleep in our room. If Pip starts stimming, get the blue blanket and a couple of pillows and put him in the armchair. Order whatever you want, there's cash in the cigar box on top of the fridge you can use."

"Hello to you too, John," Aaron chuckled. "Don't worry, we got it. Hey, we'll see you two the day after tomorrow or something?"

"Nah, you guys can come to visit tomorrow, it'll be fine," John stated. "And I wanna see my boy."

"Tell Phillip we love him please!" Alex called out.

"Okay, get back to your other kid for now," Aaron nodded. "I'll tell him. See you guys tomorrow."

"Bye, Aaron," Alex nodded, hanging up. "God, I'm so glad he moved up here."

John nodded in agreement, then looked back to Martha, who was talking with the doctor. "How is everything?"

"It's looking good," Dr. Anderson nodded. "Baby is fully effaced, we're just waiting on her cervix to dilate."

"I'm sorry, can we do something about my tits?" Martha asked. "They really hurt."

"Describe the type of pain," Dr. Anderson requested. "Sore? Tender?"

"Like they're about to explode!" Martha gasped. "Owwww!"

"Oh, your milk might be coming in," Dr. Anderson stated, undoing a part of Martha's hospital gowns to have access to her breasts. Once again, Alex turned away, and John just held her hand. The doctor put her fingers into an 'o' shape and pressed it around Martha's nipple. Milk came out, and Martha let out a yelp. "Okay, nurse, can we get a pump in here, please?”

A few seconds later, a nurse came in with two pumps, which were quickly attached to Martha to get the milk out. Martha let out a long sigh, leaning back. "Okay, that's better, that feels better." She cringed, letting out a cry. "Fuck!"

"Oh, God, Martha," Alex sighed, gently rubbing her stomach. "You can't catch a break."

"I'm literally never getting pregnant again," Martha sighed. "This hurts so much."

"I'm gonna give you some morphine," Dr. Anderson stated.

"Please," Martha groaned. "I'm so hot, oh my God, can I get like, an ice pack or something?"

"Nurse!" Dr. Anderson called.

A nurse walked in, smiling. "Yes?"

"We need a cold compress for the patient," Dr. Anderson stated.

Martha grabbed John's shirt collar. "Never again."

"I promise," John nodded.

Martha laid back. "Alex, let me tell you some shit about John as payback for this."

Alex smiled widely and sat forward, placing his elbows on the bed and his chin in his hands. "Go on."

"His tickle spots are his stomach and thighs," Martha started.

"Alright!" John intervened. "When's your next contraction coming along?"

"Ha, fuckin' loser, I have another-" Martha was cut off when she groaned loudly. "Fuck! Ow! Shit!"

Hours went by, Martha's contractions getting worse and the time between each one becoming smaller. She was dying to push, but the doctor said it wasn't time yet. John's hand was sprained, on its way to being broken, but he was trying to just smile through the pain. Alex was doing his best to help, though he felt very out of his league. For once, he wasn't the smartest in the room, so he just offered comfort to Martha and let John squeezed his hand whenever Martha squeezed John's hand.

"Nine and a half centimeters!" Dr. Anderson called out. "It's almost time, Martha, just a few more minutes."

"Mother fucker!" Martha yelled, throwing her head back. "This hurts like a fucking son of a fucking  _ bitch _ , and I really want to go home!"

"It's okay, it's okay, deep breaths," Alex coaxed.

"Next time, you two can fucking adopt!" Martha snapped.

"We will," John promised. "Okay, just, remember, you can do this. It's gonna be over really soon, I promise, and then that's it. No more big belly, no more sleepless nights, no more sore breasts, that's it."

"I am not staying in the same room as this fucking baby tonight," Martha stated. "Ah! Shit! Fuck!"

John held her hand and gently rubbed her stomach, trying to comfort her as much as he could. She had tears running down her face, an ice pack placed behind her neck for something to cool her down. She was sweating like nobody's business, and the patch of vitiligo had gone from a pale white to a bright pink. John felt bad for her, and let her squeeze his hand as much as she wanted. If he was being honest, it had gone numb about half an hour ago.

"Okay, you can push!" Dr. Anderson yelled.

"Finally!" Martha gasped.

"Okay, you got this," Alex nodded, rubbing her stomach.

It was loud in the room as Martha pushed. It took a few minutes, a lot of pain, and some blood, but suddenly, Martha's stomach deflated a bit, and she laid back, panting. A few seconds later, the room was filled with the unmistakable sound of a newborn crying. Dr. Anderson was wiping junk off the baby's head, smiling wide. Both John and Alex stood up, eyes wide. She was in a towel, crying, squirming a bit.

"It's a girl!" She announced, looking up at John.

John was almost speechless, much like when Phillip was born. "Can, can I hold her?"

Dr. Anderson handed the baby over to John. The father gasped lightly, looking at her. She looked about the size of Phillip when he was born. She had brown skin, darker than John's but lighter than Martha's. A tuft of hair was already growing on her head. She was so small, eyes not even open. John held her so carefully, staring down in awe with Alex. Alex, truthfully, had only seen a newborn once, with Dosia. This was a whole new experience for him though, seeing a newborn and knowing that that was his child.

"She's so beautiful," John whispered quietly.

Alex bit his lip, leaning his head against John's shoulder as he attempted not to cry. It wasn't working though since tears were slipping down his cheeks. He glanced over at Martha, who had promptly rolled onto her side and fallen asleep, while the doctors cleaned her up as well as the area around her. John was handed another small damp towel, which he used to wipe more gunk off of the baby.

"Here," John said softly, holding the baby out to Alex.

"Oh, no, I don't, I don't want to drop her, I don't want to-"

"Alex, she's your daughter, you won't drop her," John promised. "Just, hold your arm out like this, and there we go, support her head, and..." John moved his arms so it was just Alex holding her. "There we go."

"She’s so, so beautiful," Alex murmured, looking down at her. "Did you decide on a name?"

John looked at Alex, then to the sweet baby girl in the man's arms. It was such a beautiful, perfect moment, and John never wanted to forget it. "I think we should name her..." He trailed off, thinking, then gently kissed Alex's cheek. "Rachel."

Alex paused, then look up at John. "Like my mom?"

John nodded.

"I am crying so much, right now," Alex sniffled, tears beginning to run down his cheeks.

John nodded, his eyes watering up too as he gently wrapped his arms around Alex's waist, resting his chin on the shorter man's shoulder. "We have another kid."

"Our kid," Alex said softly. "Our baby."

"Our baby," John confirmed, kissing Alex's cheek.

"Would you two like to sign the birth certificate?" Dr. Anderson asked. "Ms. Manning has fallen asleep."

"She hasn't slept in a bit, baby's been keeping her up," John explained. "Can he sign it too? We didn't really do a whole adoption thing, but I am this child's paternal parent, and Ms. Manning and I have already agreed that she will not be signing the birth certificate, nor will she be recognized as a legal guardian of my daughter."

"Is this..." Dr. Anderson trailed off. "Did you guys do this through an adoption agency?"

"Okay, well, here's the thing," John started. "Basically, what happened was, Martha is my friend, and we hooked up, and she got pregnant, but this is my partner, and him and I are like, together, and Martha doesn't want to be on the birth certificate, and I am this child's paternal parent, but he isn't."

"Are you two legally together?" Dr. Anderson asked.

"Well, no," John started.

"Look, I really would like to let you both sign this," she started. "You seem like a great couple, and it's very obvious Martha wanted this child to go to both of you, but right now, only paternal parents can sign this. It's very easy for you to go to the courthouse and make your boyfriend a legal guardian of your child, especially with how adamant John is when it comes to making Alex the legal guardian."

"Okay, then we're gonna do that," John nodded.

"John, you really don't have to go through all of that for me," Alex said softly.

"What? Making the man I want to spend the rest of my life with a legal guardian for our children? Come on, it's New York in the middle of November, what else is there to do?" John asked.

Dr. Anderson brought over the birth certificate, and John quickly signed his name, then went to sign Rachel's name. 'Rachel Hamilton Laurens.' That was her name. Alex beamed happily, holding his daughter a bit tighter.

"Okay, where is all that milk Martha pumped out?" John asked.

The doctor handed it to John. "Do you know how to do it?"

John nodded. "Yeah, this is baby number two for me. If twenty-year-old me alone in a studio apartment at 3 am could do it, then I can do it right now. Alex, could you hand me Rachel?"

Alex nodded, gently passing the child to John.

"Okay, we're gonna clear out, but if anything looks weird, if Martha needs something, if the baby needs something, if you need something, if anyone has any questions at all, just press this button," Dr. Anderson stated, holding up a controller near Martha's bed. Martha was unmoving, sleeping hard and heavy, but she smiled in her sleep a bit when Dr. Anderson gently rubbed her shoulder. The doctor looked back up to John and Alex. "I will be in and out every ten minutes, just to check on the baby and Martha, alright?"

John nodded, sitting down with Rachel in his arms. "Alright, thank you."

"Of course," the doctor smiled, stepping out of the room.

Alex sat down next to John, sighing happily and staring in adoration at little Rachel. "She looks just like you."

"Alex, don’t even," John whispered softly as if he was speaking to a baby. "I know she looks like a jelly covered worm. Watch your mouth unless you’re tryna square up."

Alex snorted, resting his forehead on John's shoulder and laughing quietly.

"Aww," John mumbled softly as Rachel happily took the bottle's nipple in her mouth, suckling on it hungrily.

"She's so perfect," Alex whispered.

"If any boy comes within a fifty-foot diameter of her, he’d better respect the ever living hell out of her," John said softly.

"I love her so much," Alex spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I think she needs skin to skin contact," John mumbled, watching her push the bottle away a bit and scrunch up her face.

"Right now?" Alex asked.

"Yes," John nodded. "It's very important to provide your babies with plenty of skin to skin contact. It's the first experience your child has with the outside world, and it helps them build up antibodies against bacteria. It also helps calm the baby down, and it helps calm me down."

"Wow, I've been calling you papa bear, when I really should've been calling you mama bear," Alex joked.

"I may be the top, but you are definitely the father," John mumbled. "Hold her for a second."

Alex took the baby and was very surprised when John full on just took off his shirt. John took the baby back and instantly pressed her to his chest, keeping the towel around her but not covering her front so she was against him. John sighed peacefully, feeling much more relaxed. Rachel let out a small sound, and John cooed, smiling wide.

"Wow, this really is a great moment," Alex laughed. "You're shirtless, I have a daughter, and Martha is snoring."

"Cut Martha some slack, she just gave birth. You should also snap a pic," John scoffed.

"I owe her everything for this," Alex mumbled softly, pulling out his phone and taking a picture. "I have no war to go to, no spouse to run from, no excuse, no reason. I'm going to be here. I'm going to be here for her. She's going to come of age with a young nation, I'll bleed and fight for her, I'll make everything right again for her. We're going to lay a strong enough foundation that we can pass it onto her."

"We'll give the world to her, and she'll blow us all away," John agreed.

"I like that," Alex nodded. "I'm gonna write that down."

John smiled a bit, kissing the side of Alex's head. "I love you."

"I love you too."

-

The next two days went by quickly. It was mostly just the doctors watching the baby, making sure she was okay. Martha left with John and Alex, going back to their place before making her way back to her apartment, saying goodbye to everyone and offering love and hugs. Aaron, Dosia, and Theo were still at the house, and Aaron help Alex quickly set up the nursery, which was quick work, before John got home with Rachel. The bed itself was left in the room, but pushed to the corner, since they figured they would just need it as Rachel got older. By request, Dosia, who had experience with construction and geometry, drew up a plot for turning the attic into a bedroom. She explained it wouldn't be too hard, seeing at the flooring was good, and all they would have to do was place a wall in it to separate the room into two parts, leaving room for something else, but still having a bedroom.

Phillip met Rachel and, as expected, instantly fell in love with her. The whole time he was at the hospital, he held her. He talked to her, explaining that he was her big brother, and he was going to protect her and be in charge of her. At that point, Alex had sat back and said 'great, so John and I are off the hook' which earned him an eye roll from John.

Finally, though, everyone was back at home, John walking around with baby Rachel in his arms, his shirt off, a towel over his shoulder as walked around the kitchen. She was crying, needing to be burped, so that's what John was doing. Alex was sitting in the kitchen with him, for “moral support”.

"Can she be quiet?" Phillip asked, walking into the living room. "Does she have an off switch?"

"You cried this much and more when you were a baby," John reminded.

"She's being too loud, it hurts my head," Phillip huffed.

"Then go upstairs," John stated. "I can't just make her stop, she's a baby."

"But-"

"Phillip," John said in a low tone. "I'm not about to get into this with you right now. Her crying is out of my control, so you can go upstairs and put on your headphones, or watch TV, or read, but I'm doing all I can do right now. I don't want her to be crying, either."

"How about I take Pip, you take Rachel, and then when she quiets down, we all can meet in the living room and watch a nice quiet movie?" Alex suggested.

John nodded. "She should be going to sleep soon, anyway. Alex, honey, can you order dinner for us? I'll be up when she-" John heard her burp a bit and felt a bit of spit-up go onto the towel he had thrown over his shoulder. "Okay, she's getting it up. I'll be there soon."

Basil scratched at the back door, whining.

"I'll let him in and take him upstairs too," Alex assured John, going over to the door and letting the pitbull in. Basil barked a bit, causing Rachel to cry a bit louder and John to heave a sigh. Alex offered an apologetic look and quickly ushered Pip and Basil upstairs.

"Dad, why is Rachel crying?" Phillip asked.

"Because she can't talk yet, so she can only talk by crying," Alex stated. "I feel like it's going to be a long long night."

"I want Papa to hang out with us but she's stopping him," Phillip huffed, sitting on the couch and running his hand along the pillow.

"Well, you’ve got me, and you’ve got Basil. Your papa will be up soon. Newborns just require a lot of attention. She's gonna grow though, and soon enough, she'll be just as old as you." Alex poked Phillip's side, causing the almost eight-year-old to giggle.

"Why did we name her Rachel?" Phillip asked.

"It's after my mother," Alex replied, smiling a bit. "It's Jewish, just like my name."

"Is my name Jewish?" Phillip asked.

Alex shook his head. "Your name is Latin, which is equally as cool if you ask me. It means friend. Your dad has a biblical name, and it means 'he was gracious' or something like that. The name Rachel means sheep."

"Sheep?" Phillip laughed.

"Yes, but it was also in Jewish history, meaning beautiful or something," Alex went on. "My memory is a bit foggy, but that's basically what it means."

"And what about your name?" Phillip continued, looking at the pillow.

"My name means protector, or defender of man," Alex smiled. "My mother said it was fitting, and most people have agreed with her."

"Is that why you joined the army?" Phillip asked.

"Not quite," Alex chuckled. "You, you don't join the army ever, okay? You don't need to, you don't want to, and it's not all it's cracked up to be, I promise. Because I served, recruiters will probably be breaking down our door to enlist you, but don't sign anything, don't let them talk to you. It's not the place you want to be."

"Why?" Phillip asked.

Alex thought back to how they got him to sign a fifteen-year contract at age seventeen, and how it all went downhill from there. He remembered the constant and steady flow of marijuana and liquor, how immature most soldiers were, how often times, bombs were sent to the wrong places. How armor was shit, as Aaron had yelled about many times, and it was overall a twisted place to be. He especially remembered lack of support after he was discharged and lack of support for other veterans. He shuddered at the thought of the VA. "You just, you don't want to join. Trust me. Besides, you’ve got college covered."

"I do?" Phillip asked.

"Kid, you could go to the most expensive college in America, and your fund would still cover every single expense, I promise," Alex nodded, remembering the million and a half dollars he had saved for Phillip's college in a savings account. Another million and a half was for Rachel, and then the rest was for retirement, and in case John or Alex ever wanted to go back to school. Sometimes he did want to go back and get his doctorate in political sciences, and then take a few more semesters in social sciences.

"Why do we need college?" Phillip asked, grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around himself.

"To study what we want to study so we can get a job for what we like," Alex stated.

"What did you study?"

"Political sciences," Alex replied. "As well as religious studies."

"What did my papa study?" Phillip continued, using his finger to trace shapes into the pillow.

"Dance and art," Alex smiled. "Do you know what you would want to study?"

"I wanna do movie art, like Spiderman," Phillip told Alex.

"Those people are called animators." Alex scratched his chin a bit, making a mental note to shave. "I think you could most definitely do that."

"I like art, it makes me feel normal," Phillip mumbled.

"What do you mean?" Alex asked.

"Sometimes kids don't wanna hang out with me because I'm weird," Phillip said. "Same with Payne, though, which is why me and him hang out during lunch and recess. But no one thinks I'm weird when I draw, because I'm better than them."

"Hey, can I tell you a secret?" Alex said softly.

Phillip looked up for the first time in the conversation, nodding then looked back down at the pillow.

"No one really hung out with me either," Alex stated. "That's okay though. It's okay to be weird. Are they being mean to you?"

Phillip shook his head. "They just ignore me."

"Then they're missing out," Alex stated. "Does George or Will or Bev ignore you?"

Phillip shook his head, smiling. "No. George and I hang out a lot too, and whenever he gets too loud, he stops. Why isn't Theo at my school?"

"You know how Theo doesn't talk much and likes to do quiet activities like you?" Alex asked.

Phillip nodded.

"Well, she gets panic attacks too, but they happen much easier, and your school is a bit too much for her, so she's going to one that has quieter classrooms, but I know for a fact that she's loved hanging out with you since she moved back up here." Alex ran his hand through his hair, pushing a few strands off his forehead.

"I like Theo, she makes me happy," Phillip stated.

"Hey!" John whisper yelled. "She's down! I have a bottle just in case though, and a toy."

"Alright!" Alex cheered. "Here, lemme hold her for a bit."

"She's gonna need a change soon," John mumbled, sitting back and groaning.

"I got it, I got it so down," Alex stated. "I can diaper anything John, you know this. I'll get the baby."

John smiled tiredly, gently leaning down and kissing the top of Phillip's head. "How's my favorite boy doing?"

Phillip smiled, leaning into John. "Good. What movie are we gonna watch?"

"Something quiet," John mumbled.

"We could watch Moomin," Alex suggested.

"The hell is Moomin?" John asked.

Alex practically gasped. "Oh my God, I can't believe, oh, God, I feel so old. I'm so old right now. Oh God."

"Alex," John snorted.

"It's a show that came out in nineteen ninety," Alex explained. "It's really cute, with cool colors. I used to have the whole series on DVD and it was the only thing I watched from ages eight to sixteen, dead serious."

"Do you still own it on DVD?" John asked.

"No, but I found it on iTunes a few years ago and impulse bought the entire thing, so it's been sitting there with no one to watch it." Alex shook his head. "Can't believe we've been together for over two years and I haven't introduced you to this. Hand me the remote."

John handed Alex the Apple remote and Alex went to iTunes, scrolling down through the intensely large collection of French and Spanish cinema to find Moomin. He smiled victoriously when he found it, then pressed play on the first episode. John had one arm gently hugging Phillip to his side, and a hand placed on Alex's thigh. Alex held Rachel gently, rocking her a bit as the beginning credits played. It was vintage art, and there was the occasional pop on the screen, but it was relaxing.

"Snufkin, my main bitch," Alex whispered softly a few minutes into the show when Snufkin came on screen.

"Language," John reminded.

"English," Alex shot back in a matching tone.

Phillip laughed at that one.

The episode played, and John nodded when Alex asked if he wanted to watch the second one. Even Phillip liked it. He said the colors were nice, and it wasn't loud like other cartoons were. John had to agree, it was perfect. Rachel slept peacefully through most of the episodes, only waking at one point needing to be changed, which was quickly handled by Alex. John was very happy, already, that he wasn't doing this again alone. He figured this was his last kid though since it made sense. Two parents, two kids.

Dinner was ordered and eaten, and then Alex walked around the living room with Rachel a bit more when she woke up and started crying a bit. Alex burped her again, which lead to him needing a new shirt and John telling him that he needed to always have a towel when burping a baby. A little while after that, Phillip eventually got tired, so John got him ready for bed, read another chapter of Harry Potter, which they were getting close to finishing, and then joined Alex in their room. The crib was there since John didn't believe in leaving the baby in another room for a while when it's first born.

"She's so beautiful," John commented, gently leaning over the crib a bit next to Alex, looking down at her. She was dressed in a yellow onesie that was warm enough to sleep in. "She's gonna wake us up so much tonight."

"You think so?" Alex asked as Basil jumped onto their bed and curled up at the end.

John nodded, smiling wistfully. "Newborns have crappy sleep schedules."

Alex sighed, gently kissing John's shoulder. "This is our family."

"Our family," John confirmed.

Alex chuckled. "God, you know, as a kid, I would picture like, the perfect white picket fence, wife and two kids, good job, Honda in the driveway. I would picture that as my perfect family." Alex paused, chuckling. "Instead, I got stuck with you weirdos."

John scoffed, smacking Alex's shoulder.

"And guess what?" Alex mused.

John gave him a sarcastic look. "What?"

Alex leaned in and gently pecked John's lips. "No picket fence daydream could ever get me to give you guys up. I love you all so much."

John chuckled a bit, reaching his hand down into the crib and gently placing it on Rachel's stomach, feeling how it rose with every sleepy breath she took. "I'm officially on maternity leave."

"And Washington has offered to give me as many days where I can stay home and work as possible," Alex nodded. "We're gonna kick ass."

"Hey, so you know, since we're going to make you a legal guardian of Rachel, we might as well kill two birds with one stone, you know?" John suggested.

Alex looked over. "Pray tell?"

John snorted. "What?"

"Pray tell, like, please explain or something," Alex chuckled. "Come on, John, English isn't even my first language, step it up. But real shit, what do you mean?"

"Like, seeing as we both agree this relationship is going in the right direction, and we both are very sure that we are who we want to be with..." John trailed off. "I mean, why stop at just Rachel? There's a whole other kid who calls you dad, considers you his parent."

"You mean,” Alex trailed off. "You want me to adopt Phillip as well?"

John nodded.

Alex smiled, going in for a kiss. "I know a sheet of paper doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, and it can't stop me from calling Rachel and Phillip my kids, but it, it means a lot that you would trust me enough to let me become a legal guardian of them."

"Alex, you know I love you more than anything, and there's nothing I want more than to be with you, to be a family," John chuckled. "You're perfect for me." The younger man looked down, sighing at Rachel. "She's asleep, let's get ourselves to sleep too. Maybe we can get a few hours tonight."

"Maybe," Alex chuckled.

The two of them stripped down and then changed into some pajama-like clothing, John getting on a pair of sweatpants while Alex just slipped on some boxers, took off his leg, and called it good. They lied down, sighing a bit. It had been a few days since they had been in a real bed, so they were quite happy to be lying down right where they were. They both rolled so they were facing each, and Alex's hand found its way to John's chest, where it gently traced little shapes into it.

"Okay, I feel like I can ask you this now," Alex chuckled.

"Oh, God, what is it?" John groaned.

"Is the age difference hot because of the sugaring thing or the daddy issues?" Alex asked, obviously being playful.

John thought for a second. "I'm gonna have to go with daddy issues."

"Wow, I think I totally got cheaped out," Alex laughed. "I get with someone who has daddy issues and they don't even call me daddy."

"Do you want me to call you daddy?" John deadpanned.

"Not at all," Alex laughed. " _ I  _ have too many daddy issues for that."

"Aw, but  _ daddy _ ," John teased, trying not to laugh.

"Don't make me do an impression of  _ my _ dad," Alex threatened.

"Oh, yeah? How would you do that?" John mused.

"By leaving," Alex snorted before breaking into a fit of giggles.

John's eyes widened and he smacked the laughing man's chest. "Alexander Hamilton! Don't laugh at that!"

"I'll laugh at whatever I want to," Alex shot back, chuckling still. "Nah, I'm never gonna be like my dad. My dad was an asshole. Besides, I think I've made too much of an emotional connection to you all to leave. Oops."

"Oh, yeah, gotta forgive that emotional connection," John pointed out sarcastically. "What a lame thing it is."

Alex sighed softly, then pulled John into a kiss. It was sweet, comforting, and John found himself falling into it, pushing a few strands of Alex's dark hair out of the way. Alex pulled John a bit closer, feeling their chests lightly press together. John's fingers went to Alex's chest hair, curling a bit of it while his other hand rested on Alex's waist comfortably

"I love you," Alex whispered softly.

"I love you too," John replied.

"John Laurens," Alex started, sighing slowly. "You are the best thing in my life. You've left me satisfied and helpless all at the same time. I look at you, and my heart bursts out of my chest. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were perfect. You never fail to make me smile, and even on my worst days, you can cheer me up. Even when I'm grouchy and mad and stressed, you make me feel like it's the best day of my life. Every time we kiss-"

"I swear we could fly," John sang, laughing a bit.

"Oh, God," Alex groaned. "You're ruining my monologue."

"Pray tell?" John mocked.

Alex let out a long groan. "You done?"

"I'm done, I'm done," John laughed. "Okay, continue."

"I'm just gonna skip the kissing part," Alex mumbled. He gently pushed a bit of hair out of John's face, smiling light. "I've never been happier than when I'm with you, and you know that, right?"

John nodded.

"There's no one else I would rather be with, no one else I would rather spend my life with," Alex said softly. "So, will you-"

He was cut off by Rachel crying.

John held up his finger. "Hold that thought."

John got up, then reached into the crib, gently picking Rachel up. He heard Alex rummaging around in a drawer behind him, but couldn't yet because he didn't have a good grip on Rachel. Finally, he got her adjusted, and turned around, bouncing her a bit as she cried. Alex sat on his knees on the bed, hands behind his back, smiling like an idiot.

"What?" John asked, bouncing up and down to try and get Rachel to calm down. It was to a steady beat that worked with Phillip, and John prayed it got Rachel back to sleep too.

"Nothing," Alex smiled.

"What's behind your back?" John asked, gently adjusting the hat on Rachel.

"Nothing," Alex repeated.

"What are you up to?" John asked suspiciously.

Alex shook his head. "Nothing, John. I'm just thinking about how cute you look right now. Papa Johnny."

"Yes, yes," John rolled his eyes. "You wanna continue your monologue?"

"In a second," Alex chuckled. "Is this what you were like with Phillip?"

"Uh, sort of I guess?" John sighed, walking around a bit. "I think I cried a bit more than Phillip for the first couple of days. I definitely feel way more prepared this time around. Also, when Phillip was a baby, we were in a studio."

"I love you," Alex smiled. "I just think you're so freakin' gorgeous, you know?"

John smiled, then looked down at Rachel. "There we go, shh, shh, it's okay. You're okay. Alright, there we go, baby girl. Shh, shh, yeah." John hummed a bit, then began singing. "Hey, where did we go? Days when the rains came, down in the hollow, playin a new game. Laughing and a-running, hey, hey. Skipping and a-jumping in the misty morning fog with you. Our hearts are a-thumpin' and you, my brown-eyed girl, you, my brown eyed girl."

Alex swore someone could've seen hearts in his eyes. It was the most beautiful scene playing out in front of him, Rachel slowly quieting down to the sound of John's smooth voice. Alex could feel the black velvet box between his fingers as he passed it from hand to hand behind his back. He watched John smile down at Rachel and felt his heart beating out of his chest.

John sighed happily as Rachel fell back asleep. "Okay, she's down."

"C'mere," Alex nodded, rocking side to side on his knees a little bit. "Come here, John, come here and gimme a kiss."

John got on his knees on the bed, gently leaning in and pecking Alex's lips. "Whatcha got?"

Alex sighed. "Te quiero, mi dulce John Laurens. Eres lo mejor de mi vida. También tienes la mejor polla, lo cual es una gran ventaja si me preguntas. No puedo esperar a pasar el resto de mi vida contigo."

"The only word I got from that was 'dick' so I honestly don't know what to think," John snorted. "What are you doing? What's behind your back?"

"Kiss me and you can find out," Alex teased.

"Show me and I'll kiss you," John bargained.

"Nope," Alex smiled. "Kiss me first."

John sighed, then gently placed both hands on Alex's cheeks, leaning in and kissing him sweetly. Alex leaned into the kiss, slowly taking the small box out from behind his back, opening it up and holding it so it would be the first thing John's eyes fell to when they stopped kissing. The kiss lasted though. It was sweet and innocent, hands staying where hands should stay if they wished to remain respectable.

John pulled away from the kiss, then gasped.

Between the two, Alex held a small velvet box, opened, with a gold band inside. It was gorgeous, regardless of the simplicity, and obviously a placeholder for a wedding ring. John almost couldn't believe what he was seeing. His last engagement had been much different, more put together in a way, but this was nicer, it was real.

"John Laurens," Alex whispered. "I love you so much. You are the man I want to spend my life with. From being sick with a fever so bad you can't sleep in the same bed as me, to bubble baths and walks in central park hand in hand. I want to be with you through the good times, the awkward times, and the bad times. You have taught me so much about myself, you have helped me through so much. Waking up to your face every morning is the best blessing God could've given me. The richest man in the world could come up to me and tell me he could give me anything I wanted, but I would ask for nothing because the only thing I need is right here in front of me. I want to grow old with you, I want to be with you." Alex paused, sniffling a bit. "So, will you, John Laurens, do me the honor of being my husband? In sickness and in health, til death do us part?"

John gasped, then nodded slowly, tears running down his cheeks.

"Yes?" Alex asked.

"Yes! Yes, holy shit, yes a million times over!" John cried out, knocking Alex over in a hug. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Alex laughed. "Gimme your hand." He took John's left hand, then gently slipped the ring onto his finger. "It's perfect. Just like you. I can't wait to live my life with you."

John looked down at his soon to be husband and smiled, feeling, absolutely and entirely complete.

  
  



	34. Oh How Bright The Horizon Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, this is it. The last chapter.
> 
> Thank you to Cass, my editor. 
> 
> Thank you to Mistletoe, my cat.
> 
> Thank you to The Night Shift, my go-to binge show.
> 
> It was fun to upload this. Truthfully, I've been done writing it for a while, but I was waiting for my awesome editor to edit the chapters before I posted them.
> 
> I have another story called The Brooklyn Project. It's not as long, not at emotionally draining, and funnier in my opinion. Thank you guys for reading this, leave comments at the bottom telling me what you thought.

John hummed to the Lou Reed playing on the radio. Phillip would be arriving from JFK in under an hour this afternoon. John was anxious to see him, as he hadn't really gotten to be with his son in a few months. It was summer though, which meant classes were out, and Phillip would be coming home. John had made sure Phillip knew it was okay to stay where he was for summer, and that he and Alex could fly to visit him, but Phillip insisted that he enjoyed being home.

Phillip has just finished his third year at Portland University. He was majoring in animation and digital design. Recently, he had been sending John screenshots of his most current project, which John was excited to see. Phillip's style of animation was flat with bold lines, almost comic book-like, but not quite. Of course, this was only in his free time, when it was just him. He was amazing at all types of animation, and at art in general. He had sketchbooks upon sketchbooks full of character designs that were absolutely incredible.

"Hey, babe," Alex smiled, walking into the kitchen.

John looked up from the food he was preparing. "Hm? Oh, hi."

Alex leaned in and kissed John's cheek. "Excited?"

John looked over at his husband, sighing and suppressing a grin. "Yes."

Alex was fifty now. Grey hairs graced the area by his ears and on his scruff, but he was still cute, maybe even cuter, if you asked John. He had a few smile lines, but age hadn't taken much of a toll otherwise. Alex always joked that he was magic, but they both knew that it was the Latin heritage that kept him so young.

John wasn't far behind, at forty-one. He had gotten a few grey hairs, which had been panickedly plucked out. John couldn't see the greys at the base of his neck, and Alex thought it best not to point them out. John's hair had grown a bit, resting around the bottom of his head, curly as ever.

Alex was retired. He had been governor for two terms, then retired to write his book, which he did. He had so much fun with that, he found himself writing more. The book he was currently writing, with the help of Lafayette, was about what being an immigrant in government during the era of Trump had been like, which was thankfully over. It was like reliving horrors, and now that Alex looked back at it, he realized just how fucked up things had been.

"When will Rachel be back?" Alex asked.

"School got out fifteen minutes ago, so I'd say pretty soon," John mumbled. "Next week is her last week of seventh grade."

"Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it," Alex laughed.

"Phillip is bringing a friend," John mentioned.

"A friend, or a  _ friend _ ?" Alex asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"If I knew, I would tell you," John laughed. "I can't tell if he doesn't want to date, doesn't want us to know who he's dating, or just hasn't found someone. I mean, he's had girlfriends and boyfriends, I think. He dated that girl, Emily."

"He has, probably," Alex nodded. "Do you think he thinks it's funny to confuse us? Because you know, I asked him about dating, all through high school, and he just shrugged and said he was going with the flow."

John just shrugged. "He's probably gonna get married and we just won't know until we see it on his Snapchat or something."

Alex laughed, gently grabbing John's chin and pulled John into a kiss. John smiled, wiping his hands off on his jeans before gently wrapping his arms around Alex's waist. Alex's rough facial hair rubbed against John's upper lip, but in a nice way.

"How was work?" Alex asked.

John shrugged, smiling. "It was good."

John had been made the manager of the dance company. The job had been offered to Maria, who declined, but John happily took it when Martha retired. He really enjoyed it, though he missed getting to teach so much. He still taught a couple of classes, though, just like Martha did. He was happy to be where he was.

Martha and Washington had moved upstate, to Mt. Vernon, but they still saw Alex and John, since the city was just above the Bronx. Lafayette and Hercules still lived in Manhattan, and though Lafayette was retired like Alex, Herc worked still as an art teacher, while William college in Georgia. Sally and Peggy had moved to Staten Island, but visits were still frequent. They owned a greenhouse gardening store, which had become quite successful. Beverly was attending Harvard law school and was top in her class. 

Thomas and James were still in Manhattan too. James had retired due to health issues, and Thomas had retired soon after to take care of James. The shorter man was getting sicker and worn down at work, but once he stopped, he began to recover a bit, looking and feeling much better. Payne had moved to Ohio, where he was studying agriculture in hopes to become a farmer.

"I'm excited to see Phillip again, it's been too long," Alex complained.

"Three months is not  _ that _ long, and he spends all his breaks with us, anyway," John chuckled. "He said he's  _ finally  _ going to let us see his final project, which he has been sending me single frames of. I'm really excited, it looks really good."

"Maria shows him Spiderverse when he's five, and next thing you know he's twenty-one an animator," Alex chuckled. "He can finally drink."

"He can drink," John agreed. "More importantly though, he can smoke weed." John pecked Alex's lips before going back to cutting vegetables. "Martha is coming over."

"Oh, cool," Alex smiled.

"Martha my sister," John clarified.

"Oh..." Alex feigned a smile. "Cool."

"Play nice," John commanded. "Henry is coming over too."

"Yes!" Alex cheered, pumping his fist. "Jemmy?"

"No, Jem is in Puerto Rico right now for his art thing," John reminded. "Mary wasn't up for the trip, so she won't be coming, either."

Alex nodded. "Did Mars get back to you?"

"She did, and she will be here around five." John turned on his phone. "It's three now, so Phillip should be here really soon, and Rachel should be-"

"Dad, Pop, I'm home!" Rachel called out, walking through the door.

Rachel was a strong girl. She played basketball and was great at it. Her style was more tomboyish, usually wearing a snapback over her cornrowed hair. She mostly wore basketball shorts or Adidas joggers, paired with hoodies and basketball jerseys. Then, there were her Jordans. She had  _ so _ many, especially for a thirteen-year-old. At least twenty, but John suspected there may be more. She loved her Jordans, kept them clean, avoided creasing them, but still played in them. She had been playing basketball since she was seven, and Alex had picked up a ball left in a court and showed her how to dribble. Phillip hadn't taken much interest in the sport, but was always happy to go to her games so long as he could wear headphones. Unlike Phillip, she’d avoided the vitiligo gene, leaving her dark brown skin untouched.

"Hey, kiddo," Alex smiled.

"Phillip here?" She asked, her New York accent very strong and much like Alex's. Phillip had gotten one as he got older, but quickly lost it when he moved to Oregon. John had hints of one sometimes, but talked in a southern accent when he had even the slightest bit of emotion in his voice.

"Nah, not yet, but he's probably stuck in traffic right now. His flight touched down forty-five minutes ago, and you know what a nightmare JFK is," Alex stated.

"How was your day?" John asked.

"It was good. When does basketball camp start? The first week or the second week of summer?" Rachel asked.

"Second week, over at Yeshiva University, just like last time," John reminded.

"It's fucking hot out," Rachel mumbled, coming over and stealing a mushroom from the salad John was making.

"Language!" John gasped.

"Dejé claro que hablaba inglés, ¿no?" Rachel shot back, causing Alex to snicker.

"Thank God Phillip is coming back, because you two team up against me every time," John huffed, putting saran wrap over the dressingless salad and put it in the fridge for when Phillip got home. "Your brother is bringing a friend."

"Who?" Rachel asked, pulling a protein shake from the fridge and downing it.

"I don't know, he just said a friend," John replied.

"Alright, I'm gonna go for a run with George," Rachel stated, letting the pit bull into the house. Basil had passed a few years back, so they had gotten George, a pitbull-husky mix, who needed lots of exercise.

"Your brother is gonna be home in ten minutes," Alex pointed out.

"I'll be back in twenty," Rachel responded. "I've been sitting all day."

"Stay safe!" John called out as she hooked up George and walked out the door.

"She is nonstop," Alex commented to himself.

"She got that from you," John replied. "She grew up watching you work your ass off and now she is just a machine."

"She’d better get a basketball scholarship," Alex pointed out.

"We're raising scholarship kids, Alex, you know that," John chuckled. "I mean, Phillip's college practically paid for itself with that art scholarship."

Alex sighed, leaning against John and closing his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too, dear," John smiled, sighing.

"Wise men say," Alex began singing, pulling John away from the counter. "Only fools rush in, but I can't help, falling in love with you."

John began swaying with Alex. "Shall I stay? Would it be a sin if I can't help, falling in love with you." John kissed Alex's forehead, smiling a bit. "Like a river flows surely to the sea, darling so it goes, some things, are meant to be."

"Take my hand," Alex smiled, brushing a curl out of John's face. "Take my whole life too. 'Cause I can't help falling in love with you." Alex pulled John's face closer to his, gently pressing a kiss to the younger man's lips. "I love you so much, John Laurens Hamilton."

"I love you too, Alexander James Hamilton," John replied, smiling a bit.

Their wedding had been wonderfully casual. It had taken place in central park, with Washington as their officiant. The dress code wasn't too strict, and since it was summer, and most people wore shorts and short sleeve button ups. Phillip, who had been nine, was the flower boy, while Theo brought the rings down the aisle. The reception had been at their house, John and Alex dancing to a Lou Reed song together, saying things that made each other laugh, just quietly enough so that the other guests couldn't pick it up. Dosia and Aaron had graciously agreed watched Phillip and Rachel while John and Alex took a honeymoon trip down to Puerto Rico, which John totally fell in love with. He definitely wanted to convince Alex to buy a winter home in Puerto Rico.

"Dad! Pop!"

John quickly pulled away, smiling wide. "Pip! My boy!" He ran to his son, pulling him into a hug, then pulled away, holding Phillip at shoulder length to look at him. "Your hair!"

Phillip's curly dark hair had been twisted into dreadlocks, big thick ones that Phillip tied up at the top of his head with a yellow rubber band. Some of the locks had streaks of white in them from the vitiligo that had spread over Phillip in the past fourteen years. It was now on his face, hands, chest, and legs, but Phillip never paid it much mind. He was tall, almost as tall as John, slender, and very handsome. He had facial hair growing on his face, just a shadow, which was probably from the fact that he had been traveling.

"Yes, my hair," Phillip nodded, smiling a bit.

"Hey, kid," Alex chuckled, pulling Phillip into a hug. "It's good to see you. Look at your face, I think you've grown more facial hair in the past six months than your Pops has in his whole life."

"It's good to see you too, Dad," Phillip replied, rubbing his scruffy chin and chuckling a bit. He then pulled someone forward, someone who had been standing back a bit. "Guys, this is Dorian."

Dorian was shorter than Phillip, with messy messy brown hair, sharp features, pale skin, and bright green eyes. Freckles were dotted across their cheeks and over the bridge of their nose. They wore just a plain simple pair of basketball shorts and a tank top, and both John and Alex noticed the bright blue painted onto their nails.

"Hi, Dorian, it's nice to meet you," John smiled. "We set up the guest room all nice for you and-"

"Oh, no need," Phillip stated. "I'm gonna go put our stuff in my room. I'll be right back." Phillip grabbed Dorian's duffle bag, as well as his own, then made his way upstairs. Because the two were staying up for so long, they had sent a box of things in the mail that had arrived a few days ago, so that was already up in Phillip's room.

John shared a look with Alex, then looked back to Dorian, who was smiling lightly. "So, are you a friend of Phillip's or a  _ friend _ ?"

Dorian gave John a confused look. "Phillip and I have been dating for eight months."

Alex's jaw dropped. "You  _ have _ ?"

Dorian laughed a bit. "Did Phillip not tell you?"

"No!" John gasped. "He said he was bringing his friend up for the summer, and other than that, nothing."

"He's super vague in texts with me too," Dorian laughed. "He once told me he got a little injury while out with his friends, and he came home with a cast on his arm."

"When did this happen?" John asked.

"February," Dorian laughed.

"What happened?" Phillip asked, coming back downstairs.

"You broke your arm," Dorian smiled. "And, hey! You didn’t tell your parents that we’re dating!"

Phillip shrugged, putting his arm around Dorian's waist. "Dad, Pop, this is my significant other, Dorian."

"You're lucky I love you," Dorian snarked, narrowing their eyes.

"Whoa, you guys have said the L word?" John asked, his eyes wide.

"Babe, just because it took you like, two years, doesn't mean it takes everyone else that long," Alex snorted, bumping John.

"It took you two years?" Phillip asked. "I feel like you guys were saying it like, two months into living together."

"I don't think we were even dating two months into living together," John pointed out. "No, yeah, it took me two years to say love, but we did tell each other we  _ adored _ each other, which was basically love."

"Basically," Alex snorted. "Regardless, eight months? That's a long time to date someone and not tell your parents, Phillip."

"I thought you two knew," Dorian laughed, lacing his fingers together with Phillip's. "I mean, you would think that once you live with someone-"

"You two live together?" John asked.

"Yes, we do," Dorian smiled. "Phillip, why don't you tell them anything?"

Phillip shrugged, smiling mischievously. "Because it's fun to watch them freak out whenever something slightly new happens. Where's Rachel?"

"She is on a run right now," John stated. "She came home, pounded a protein drink, and took Georgey out for a run. Nonstop, that girl is."

Phillip laughed. "She doing camp again this summer?"

"You know it," Alex laughed. "And she's gonna do basketball again this year, and she's gonna be apart of the city youth team."

Dorian smiled, resting his head against Phillip's shoulder. "I'm so excited to meet her."

"Okay, let's go sit down in the kitchen. Do you guys want wine? Beer? I have some peach white wine spritzers left over from when miss Martha Manning was over a few nights ago, and I have pot, but we're gonna save that for after dinner. Are either of you hungry? I have a salad."

"Please don't tell me you guys turned vegan," Phillip gasped as they all sat down.

"Never," Alex growled. "Look, I get that there are  _ some  _ good vegans, but until vegans actually start speaking out against resources being ripped away from Alaska natives, and from Native Americans, I can't take them seriously. And I know, I know, there are the ones who do that, but I'm specifically talking about those rich white vegans who shame people from impoverished countries for eating meat. Veganism, and hell, even vegetarianism? It's expensive! And yeah, I'm all for ending abuse in the animal industry, but most vegans I know don't even protest, speak out, anything! And also, it's not fake fur, it's plastic. It's not pleather, it's plastic. My leather work shoes have lasted me ten years and will last me another ten, and it's not even bad for the environment."

"Hon," John said softly, cutting off his rant.

"My dad is very passionate about, well, everything," Phillip chuckled.

"Yes, I am," Alex nodded. "So, how'd you two meet?"

Dorian laughed. "Okay, so, Phillip was locked in a janitorial closet-"

"I was there because I needed a nap, and my dorm was too far away," Phillip explained.

"Anyway, it's like, the middle of the class period, and I'm on the first floor, looking for room two oh two because apparently, I was too stupid to remember that the two hundreds were on the second floor." A pink tinge came to Dorian's cheeks. "Anyways, suddenly I hear a knocking coming from a closet, and I mean, I've seen enough horror movies to know that there was definitely an evil spirit in there."

"Yes, I'm terrifying," Phillip commented sarcastically. "I lock myself in closets for fun."

"Only closet you've ever been in," John mumbled, snickering a bit.

"Yes, we get it, you grew up in the south," Phillip shot back.

Alex laughed at that one. "Wow, Phillip's really coming for you, John."

"Okay, okay, anyway, so Dorian comes over to the door, and they say, in the quietest voice I've ever heard them speak in, 'hello?' So, now, I'm trapped in a closet, and I have to explain to this total stranger that I'm trapped in this closet because I was stimming and didn't think everything through." Phillip chuckled, looking over at Dorian. "So, they open the door, and I'm just like a deer caught in headlights."

"Yeah, he didn't talk for like, thirty seconds when I opened that door," Dorian laughed.

"It's 'cause he was gorgeous," Phillip pointed out.

"And I asked him where room two oh two was, and he said 'I have no idea, but I do know where a good coffee shop is, can I get you to something?' And then we went out and got coffee.

"Smoothe," Alex nodded, high fiving Phillip. "He got his skills from me."

"You had to ask me out twice, you forgot to tell me we were going on our first date, and you proposed in your underwear," John deadpanned.

"Whoa! I don't want to hear that!" Phillip gasped.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, it was the first night we had Rachel so nothing was gonna happen," John snorted. "It was sweet though. He was being a little bitch about it though if we're being honest."

"I was not!" Alex gasped.

"He was, he totally was," John confirmed. "He had the ring behind his back and he looked super suspicious, and I couldn't find out what it was until I gave him a kiss, and he had like, pages and pages of a monologue, some of which was in Spanish."

"You interrupted my monologue like, four times, so I earned it. I had to memorize that, you know," Alex stated.

John rolled his eyes.

"You know, when Phillip said you guys had been together for almost twenty years, I'm gonna be honest, I thought you two would hate each other more," Dorian laughed.

"Psh, we've never hated each other," Alex assured them.

"Well, there was that one time you drank all the coffee after I had gotten off a five-hour shift at the bar I worked out for a while, and I still had to go teach dance," John mumbled.

"Ten years ago!" Alex gasped. "It was ten years ago!"

John laughed, taking his hand.

"How was the second semester?" Alex asked. "Anything cool happen?"

Phillip shrugged. "We made it through. We got good grades on finals, my animation professor really liked my final project, he said it was really well done."

"Do we ever get to see it?" Dorian asked.

"Yes, tonight," Phillip nodded. "How did Rachel do?"

"Straight Bs, as always. Played basketball, took her team to finals, almost won it, would've if she hadn't fucked up her ankle," Alex mumbled, scratching his chin hair. "It was a sprain, but it took her out of the last two games. And we were planning a trip down to the big PR this summer if you two would like to join us? Probably sometime in early July. I can pay for both your tickets. I remember what being in college was like."

"Puerto Rico?" Dorian asked.

John nodded.

"Yes, I would love to go. Even if Phillip doesn't want to, I'll still go. I've never been before but it looks beautiful," Dorian gushed. "My friend Nola, she did an art installation and had a lot of photos from her trip to Puerto Rico, and I just died, I want to go so bad." Dorian's cheeks had turned a bit pink from their gushing, but they didn't show any signs of noticing.

"Great, we'll buy tickets," Alex chuckled. “The missus has been egging on me to do a little house hunting while we're down there, so when he retires, we have a place to go in the winter."

"Mm, I would love to be tan year round," John chuckled.

"Flip!" Rachel laughed, coming through the door.

"’Ey!" Phillip smiled, standing up and pulling her into a hug. "Heard you took their team to finals! That's awesome!"

"If I hadn't gotten hurt we would've won too," Rachel pointed out. "Who's your friend?"

"This is my significant other, Dorian," Phillip smiled.

"Wow, I think this is the first time you've ever admitted to dating someone," Rachel laughed. "Especially in front of our parents."

"Yeah, Phillip, did you even date in high school?" Alex asked.

Phillip nodded. "William and I were briefly a thing, me and Payne had a few summer flings, Kat and I were kinda serious, then there were a few others. I've never really had a serious relationship though. Before this hot pocket right here."

Dorian rolled their eyes. "I'm flattered."

"Okay, Aunt Martha and Aunt Maria are gonna be here at five, Uncle Henry is gonna be here a bit after that," John announced. "We are having Pho soup for dinner but I need to make it look like I cooked it myself so I'm gonna order it now. Rachel, you shower, Phillip, Dorian, you two unpack a bit. Alex, you make sure the dining room is clean because Martha will judge us for that."

"Yay," Alex mumbled sarcastically as the three kids made their way upstairs. "How's she walking?"

"Better, still has trouble going up stairs, but Henry and I will help her," John mumbled, looking on the fridge to find the Pho take out menu. "Please be civil."

"Relax, I was a politician for like, fifteen years," Alex laughed. "If there's one thing I'm good at, it's being nice to people I hardly tolerate."

"I hardly tolerate you sometimes," John mumbled under his breath.

"Gasp!" Alex exclaimed, coming over to John and wrapping his arms around the man's torso. "I thought you loved me!"

John laughed, pressing a kiss to Alex's lips. "I do, you know I do."

"Oh yeah?" Alex mused. "Prove it."

John peered over Alex, making sure no one was coming back downstairs or through the front door, before leaning down a bit and grabbing Alex's thighs, hoisting him up a bit. Alex screamed and laughed, tightly wrapping his legs around John's waist and burying his face in the younger man's neck. John set Alex on the counter and pulled him into a kiss. Alex kissed back, running his fingers through John's hair and tugging it lightly as they made out. It was a bit of a mess of spit and tongues and teeth. Alex whined when John bit his tongue too hard, but it didn't stop the make-out session.

"I love you," John stated, pulling away and wiping his lips a bit.

"I love you too," Alex smiled, gently bopping John's nose with his pointer finger. "Come on, you order the soup, I get the dining room cleaned up. I'll be right back."

"Hey, tonight?" John asked.

"Tonight, what about-" Alex cut himself off, eyes widening and mouth letting out a small 'oh' in understanding. "Yes, tonight. Tonight works very well."

"Alright cool," John nodded, looking forward to what he knew was going to be at least a blow job. "Tonight."

Alex offered John a thumbs up, before going into the dining room and cleaning a few things up. He put some mail in the cabinet, put flowers in the middle of the table, pushed the chairs in, wiped a spaghetti stain up from last night's dinner, then came out into the kitchen to see John helping himself to some salad, leaning against the counter, a big pot on the stove, waiting for unholy amounts of soup to be dumped in. John had gotten out a few things, sprinkled the counter with some powder and bits of greens, put a pan and the cutting board in the sink and rinsed them so they looked used. If there was anything John was perfect at, it was making people think he cooked.

"Mm, look at how frickin' cute you look," Alex chuckled, leaning up and gently kissing John's jaw. "I wish we had more time."

"You are legally not allowed to make me horny right now," John stated. "Our son and his significant other are home, my sister is going to be here soon, and all you are thinking about is me going down on you."

"Is that a sin?" Alex groaned.

"I dunno, you're the one who went to Sunday school," John laughed, taking another bite of his salad.

Alex thought for a second. "You know, my Rabbi never said anything about wanting to get some dick from your husband on a Friday night."

"Yeah, well you are going to have to wait until it's night," John sighed, smiling a bit. "Okay, the soup should be here soon, and I need you to be on container duty. Put that shit in a bag and run it to the trash bin outside."

"I can do that," Alex nodded.

About ten minutes passed and soon enough, four large containers of Pho soup were delivered to their door, and John quickly dumped it all out into the pot and then put a lid on before handing the containers to Alex who quickly disposed of them. It was like a murder, but no one actually died.

"I'm hungry," Rachel commented, coming into the kitchen.

"Dinner is happening when people show up," John started. "Have some of my salad."

Rachel picked up John's plate and began eating the salad. "Does Martha like dad?"

"No," Alex answered, walking back into the kitchen. "Because I started dating your pop and then sent his dad to jail, all in the span of a year."

"You also have gotten into multiple fights with her," John pointed out. "And you got Henry into boxing, which she hates."

"You got Henry into pot, which is worse," Alex scoffed.

"Yes, well, I have too many points with her," John smiled cheekily. "Be nice though. She took the train all the way here to see us."

"She did," Alex groaned.

"Hey, losers!" Someone yelled.

"Maria is here," John smiled. "We’re in the kitchen!"

Maria came into the kitchen, smiling, a bottle of wine between her fingers. "Ooh, smells like the Hanoi House in here."

"Well, until my sister leaves, it smells like the Hamilton house, capiche?" John asked, pointing his finger at Maria.

Maria held up her hands, setting the wine on the counter. "No skin off my back. She here yet?"

"Nope," Alex smiled.

"Yes, Alex is still grinning, of course, she's not here," Maria pointed out. "Where's my baby nephew? Where has he gone?"

"He's upstairs with his s/o other," Alex answered, walking to the steps. "Pip! Mars is here!"

It took only a few seconds for Phillip to come tumbling down the stairs, hugging Maria. Maria laughed, hugging Phillip. "Your hair looks so good! And is this Dorian? Even prettier than the pictures you sent me." Maria approached Dorian, who was leaning against the stairwell. "So pretty, such gorgeous eyes. Phillip knows how to pick em."

Dorian looked down and blushed, rubbing their arm a bit. "Thank you."

"And Rachel!" Maria smiled, coming over and kissing Rachel's head. "How beautiful you are, as always. I like your shorts."

Rachel smiled, her mouth full of the salad she had officially stolen from John. "Thank you, Aunt Mars."

"Okay, Rachel, Phillip, go set the table. It's gonna be, let's see, one two three four..." John counted in his head the rest of the people they would be hosting tonight. "Eight people, so get eight spoons and forks and napkins. Alex, get out eight bowls."

"Damn," Dorian muttered. "What magic do you use to get Phillip to just do the things you ask him to do?"

"I'm his father, I raised him, he can set the table," John laughed. "Dorian, what are you studying?"

"I'm studying to be a registered nurse, which won’t take too much more schooling," Dorian explained. "My parents were in the education system, but I'm just trying to, you know, distance myself from them I guess."

Both John and Alex, who had plenty of issues with their parents, sensed that sad undertone in Dorian's voice.

"Well, you got us, if you need," Alex smiled.

Dorian smiled widely. "Thank you."

Phillip came up to Dorian and resting his chin on their shoulder. "Baby, I love you."

"Oh? Do you?" Dorian mused.

Phillip nodded, quickly pecking Dorian's cheek. "Uh huh."

Dorian rolled their eyes but found Phillip's hand with their own. "Love you, too."

"Hey, y'all!" Someone yelled from the front door.

"Ah, that would be Martha," John smiled, walking out of the kitchen.

"Quick, Dorian, hide while you can," Alex joked.

Phillip snorted, hugging Dorian a little closer. "I'll protect you, baby. I gotcha. Mm, my sweet coconut pie."

Dorian laughed. "What has gotten into you? Where is this coming from? What did you do?"

"I just love you. Can't I just love you?" Phillip asked.

"See, now I'm suspicious because I use that line on your father whenever I do something that I know will annoy him," Alex laughed.

"Well, I didn't do anything, I just want to love my baby, my cherry pie, my early morning honeysuckle, my sweet petrichor pixie." Phillip kissed Dorian's cheek again.

"Damn, Phillip gets creative," John commented, coming back in with Martha. Martha had undergone a couple of surgeries that provided her with the ability to walk again in the past ten years. She needed to use a cane and she was shaky, but she was getting better with PT.

"Only the best nicknames for my perfect darling," Phillip smiled. "My perfect moisture chocolate cake."

"Okay, that one is weird," Rachel commented.

"It is," Alex agreed.

"Alright, since Henry is taking too long, we're just gonna serve up now. Everyone get a bowl, Martha, you go sit down, I'll get your bowl. Phillip, Rachel, let the guests go first," John ordered. "This kitchen is too small for everyone."

"Honestly," Martha laughed.

John got a bowl for Martha, and Maria was serving herself up when Henry walked through the door, smiling and waving. Alex, who had learned sign language over the years, told Henry to help himself. There was thankfully enough food for everyone, so John, who was always the last to serve himself, got enough, as well. Eventually, everyone was sitting down, eating. George the dog was trying to get some food from anyone, but failing miserably.

"Okay, so, introductions," John started. "Everyone, this is Phillip's s/o, Dorian. Dorian, this is my sister Martha, my brother Henry, and my womb to tomb main hoe, Maria."

"Yeah!" Maria laughed, taking a bite of the soup. "Wow, John, I don't know how you make such good Pho. I mean, seriously, it's amazing."

John shot her a passive smile. "Well, you know me."

Alex snorted into his glass of water. Everyone looked at him curiously. "Sorry, sorry, just thinking about something Phillip said earlier."

Attention turned to Phillip, who instantly blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "The first phone book didn't have any numbers in it, it was just the names of people who had phones."

"Flex book," Dorian mumbled.

"Would anyone like wine?" John asked.

"Yes," Martha chuckled.

John poured himself a glass, then the bottle was passed around. Phillip took a glass, and it was the first time John had ever seen him drink, but he seemed to have no trouble at all with the bitter taste of red wine. Dorian held up his hand, shaking his head and then passed the bottle to Maria, who poured herself a glass. Rachel got close to pouring herself a bit, but Alex quickly realized what she was doing.

"Sobre mi cadaver, senorita," Alex stated, quickly snatching up the bottle. "Los niños de hoy en día."

"Phillip se pone a beber," Rachel whined.

"Phillip también puede monstrarnos su idetificacion," Alex shot back.

"Inglés en la mesa, por favor," John sang, taking a bite of his soup.

"So, Phillip, tell me how your junior year of college went," Martha smiled.

"Uh, it went good. I got good grades, didn't fail my finals. Dorian, why don't you tell them your final GPA?" Phillip smiled, staring over at his partner with practical heart eyes.

Dorian rolled their eyes, blushing a bit. "I got a four point two."

"Damn!" Alex nodded. "Phillip, you know how to pick them!"

Dorian smiled a bit, nudging Phillip. "Okay, this might a weird question, but Phillip doesn't know, and I really want to know, what is his heritage? I know he obviously has Puerto Rican in him, but like, what else?"

"Phillip is Hispanic, black, a smidge of white, and like, a very very small amount of Native American," John answered.

"I'm one-sixty-fourth Cherokee Indian so I can say the n-word," Phillip mocked.

No one expected Dorian to start laughing as hard as they did, but it made Phillip smile like an idiot to see his partner so joyous and giggly.

"I gotta explain this to you guys," Phillip chuckled. "Okay, so, Dorian and I are sitting in the cafeteria, not because we want to, but because I need to record some crowd voices for a group thing I was doing with a few classmates. Anyway, there's this dude at the table next to us, this  _ very _ white dude, with all his very white friends, and he is just saying the n-word casually left and right. Anyway, I get up and I walk over to this guy, and I'm not trying to start anything, so I'm just like 'hey, dude, you really shouldn't be saying that it's a slur when it comes out of your mouth,' and then-"

Phillip is cut off when Dorian lets out a squeak of laughter and leans against Phillip's shoulder, trying to control their laughing.

Phillip smiles, kissing Dorian's head. "Then, he stands up, and he's like, 'dude, I'm one-sixty-fourth Cherokee Indian, I can say the n-word."

Rachel snorted, Maria began cackling, and even Martha couldn’t suppress her giggles. John put his head in his hands, and a shaking Alex leaned against John, laughing like an idiot. Dorian was still laughing very hard, and Phillip was quite disappointed that Dorian was trying to not laugh as hard. Phillip would more often than not say things that would make Dorian scream laugh, which was the cutest thing to Phillip. Dorian, when they first began hanging out, would often cover up their smile, or only let out a few giggled muffled by their hand.

The first scream laugh of Dorian's that Phillip ever heard was in Phillip's dorm. He and Dorian were having a conversation, and Phillip said something stupid, which was quickly followed by 'sorry, every time I jizz, I lose brain cells.' Phillip didn't expect Dorian to think that was as funny as they did, but Dorian ended up falling back on Phillip's bed from how hard they were laughing, tears streaming down their cheeks. That was day Phillip admitted he loved Dorian. He was just smiling at the way Dorian was laughing and spat it out. Dorian, of course, stopped laughing and stared at Phillip oddly for a few seconds before saying it back.

"So wait, like, did you punch him? I would've," Alex asked, absentmindedly translating into sign language for himself.

"No, I didn't, but someone else got up and kinda told him off," Phillip explained.

"So, Phillip, are you and Dorian together?" Martha asked.

Phillip nodded. "Yes, we've been together for about eight months."

"Seven," Dorian corrected. "We met eight months ago."

"And then we went on a date that day, so we've been dating for eight months," Phillip replied. "Dad, Pop, back me up."

"I didn't know it was a date, so I don't think it should count," Dorian scoffed.

"Well, your pop and I went on dates before we were official, but we didn't count that as the start of the relationship," Alex mumbled. "When did you guys have the 'this is official' talk?"

"About a month after we met," Dorian stated. "We had been hanging out a lot and I asked him if we were like, a couple, and he said he assumed we were a couple from the beginning."

"In my defense, we had been kissing since like, the second time we saw each other," Phillip scoffed. "I say eight months."

John shrugged. "I guess you guys just have two anniversaries you can celebrate."

Dinner went by nicely, people talking and laughing. Phillip helped himself to two cups of wine, which caused the patch of vitiligo on his cheek to turn a bit pink and the space between him and Dorian to become lesser.

"Okay, Phillip, is it time to see your final project?" John asked as he, Alex, and Phillip began collecting plates.

Phillip nodded. "Yes, yes, let's all go to the living room. I'll get my laptop from my room, you guys get situated. Dorian, save me a spot near you."

Dorian smiled and nodded and Phillip quickly placed the bowls in the sink before going upstairs to fetch his Macbook. Phillip didn’t spend much money on anything. He had a simplistic way of life, which consisted of thrift shopping, cheap take out, and piracy when he and Dorian were in the mood to watch a movie instead of school work or their “other activities.” But, when it came to Phillip's technology, it seemed that was the only thing he would splurge on. Art tablets, a good computer, piles upon piles of sketchbooks that were half his height. Most nights, he would have to be pulled away from his computer by Dorian, who had their own tricks to get Phillip to take care of himself.

Phillip came into the living room where people were sitting down and began to connect his computer to the TV, sitting on the floor between Dorian's legs. He momentarily got distracted by a notification about his favorite artist posting a new work, and took a moment to look at it, like and retweet it, then went back to focusing on connecting his laptop to the TV. He got it connected, and his home screen appeared on the TV.

"Organize your desktop!" Rachel ordered. "It's a mess!"

"Organize your Jordans," Phillip shot back, sticking his tongue out at her.

"My Jordans are plenty organized, unlike you, who couldn't keep a clean room if you tried," Rachel scoffed.

Dorian chuckled and nodded at that, as Phillip moved files out of the way of other files to find the one he was looking for. Finally, he found a file labeled 'education bullshit number three' and clicked on it, then scrolled through about a hundred things until he found the one labeled 'my final project but this one is the real one.' He had about four other files named something similar.

"He needs Maria Kondo," John commented from next to Dorian. Alex, who was sitting on the floor in front of John, laughed and nudged Phillip with his shoulder a bit.

"Okay, are you guys ready?" Phillip asked, looking up.

"Yes!" Martha gasped.

"I wanna see my nephews work!" Maria groaned, stretching herself over the armchair like a cat.

"Okay, okay," Phillip laughed, clicking on the file. He put it into full screen, then pushed his computer away and let the film begin playing.

It started off with a flat animation side view of a living room with a TV. The TV was one of those big box televisions that John grew up with. It was on, light being emitted for it. The screen was just that for a second, and John got to admire the art. It was gorgeous. Phillip had always been good at art and started really drawing at age nine.

The sound of footsteps echoed through the room and suddenly a character was sitting down on the floor in front of the TV. He was tall and skinny, with patches of vitiligo and curly hair, braided back. The scene panned closer to him, and he gently placed his hand on the screen, before reaching over and turning one of the knobs.

The view was now on the TV screen. Light and calming guitar music was playing. It was a scene of a woman with vitiligo, lighting up a blunt and smiling, waving a bit awkwardly at a small child before the kid shifted to look at a man with long curly hair. The little kid, who was drawn to be at least four, took the man's hand without a second thought. They were walking down the streets of what looked to be New York, and it looked vaguely familiar to John.

"Where are we going?" The little kid asked.

"Home," The man answered in a voice that everyone knew was John's.

The film continued, and John gasped as childhood memories of Phillip's played. He vaguely remembered Phillip calling him up around March to call and reminisce about a time before Alex. Central park, ice cream, dogs, a few people John recognized as Hercules and William, James and Payne, Sally and Beverly. Suddenly, a dragon appeared in their path, knocking the little kid back. Instantly, the man pulled out a sword and a shield and slew the beast, cutting off its head and holding it high above his head like a victory, before tossing it to the side and helping the child up, continuing their walk. John knew exactly what that was from, and they walked a little longer until they made it to a brownstone that looked an awful lot like Alex's.

The door opened, and a man who looked like Alex smiled and welcomed them in, gently pecking the lips of the other man too. The man on the screen who looked like Alex brought them into the kitchen and handed both the man who looked like John and the child a paper heart, then smiled sheepishly. Both the other man and the child held the hearts to their chests, and the hearts stayed.

The man who looked like John left the room for a second, then came back with short hair and a baby, smiling and bouncing her a bit. He handed the baby to the child, who had grown a bit in the few screen frames. The child took the blanket off from around the baby and helped it walk into the back yard, where a brown pit bull with grey eyes barked happily.

"Basil," Alex whispered softly from below John.

John smiled, gently touching Alex's hair as the film continued.

The baby and the child grew up in the backyard, with both the man who looked like Alex and the man who looked like John coming out to watch them, smiling as the younger girl picked up a basketball and began bouncing it while the older kid picked up a sketchpad.

John took a moment to admire the art style in the film. It was colorful, thick lines, nice dark yet defined shades of reds and blues and yellows and purples. The older kid's hair had to be John's favorite part of the whole thing. Curly and big, with bits of purple in it, commemorating the time Phillip died his newly blonde streaks of hair purple. Phillip had always made the best of his vitiligo, and when it was covered with makeup, it was usually fun. Phillip would use makeup to create fun scenes on his cheek. Often times, when miss Martha Manning would come over, she would show him tips on how to add cool effects, and even did his makeup for prom, which Phillip attended with William, and ditched early to do some unholy activities.

Soon, the older kid was hugging the younger one, and the two adults. He went to the door, looking back at his smiling family, before opening the door and stepping into darkness. There was a click and a light bulb came on, dimly illuminating the kid's face, who had grown to look quite similar to Phillip at the beginning of his junior year of college. He knocked on a wall.

"Hello?"

Dorian gasped. That was their voice.

"Hi," The character on the screen said slowly. It was Phillip's voice. "I, uh, I locked myself in here. Can you, uh, can you open it?"

"Are you going to murder me?" Dorian's voice asked.

"I don't think so," Phillip's character stated. "My homicidal tendencies tend to pop out around seven pm, so we're good."

The door opened and there stood Dorian. Phillip had used purple to color the freckles, blue to shade the cheekbones. It was gorgeous. The screen panned back to Phillip face which was shocked, lips parted, cheeks definitely darkened.

"Uh, hi?" Dorian's character asked.

It panned back to Phillip's character's face which was still shocked and in awe.

"Um, sorry, do you know where room two oh two is?" Dorian's character asked, looking down and holding up a piece of paper.

"No," Phillip's character answered. "I do know where a good coffee shop is though. We could go."

"Right now?" Dorian's character asked.

Phillip's character nodded. "Right now. Let's go. Let's get some coffee. I'll pay because I don't know where your classroom is. Come on, let's go."

The screen went black for a second, and then it went back to the guy sitting in front of the TV, smiling a bit. He stood up, gently patting the TV, then walking off the view of the screen. The view faded out into black, and then the credits started rolling. Phillip had done most of it, besides the music, which was a credit to a friend Phillip had mentioned on the phone.

"Okay," John started as Phillip disconnected his computer from the TV. "I know it's been an emotional day, but I need to hug my baby right now."

"Awh, pop," Phillip laughed, standing up. "I love you."

"I love you too," John replied, hugging Phillip tightly. "I'm so proud of you. That was so beautiful. I love you so much, and I can't believe I got lucky enough to have a son like you."

"I loved that part with the hearts and you two," Alex said, smiling and putting his hand on his chest.

"That's how it felt," Phillip chuckled.

"Why did I come in later?" Rachel asked.

"Because you did come in later," Phillip stated. "I mean, you don't remember a time before Alex, I do. I remember some parts of it really well too, and I do remember the first night we spent with Alex very clearly too because he was trying to carry some of our stuff upstairs, but he wasn't very strong back then."

"In my defense, I didn't have any reason to have muscle," Alex laughed.

"Rachel, girl, feel lucky you didn't exist before Alex," Phillip snorted. "Pop, I love you, and I have an intense appreciation for everything you did for me before Alex, but studio apartments are really not that fun."

"No, they're not," John muttered. "Luckily, I got a husband with lots of land and goats, big fortune, lots of silver."

Alex laughed. "Yeah, I definitely needed absolutely  _ no  _ improvement."

Dorian cocked an eyebrow. "Don't tell me your fridge was  _ also  _ full of take out and beer."

"Wow, Phillip really is my son," Alex laughed. "Hamilton men can't live on their own."

"Yeah, when I first moved in with Alex, he smoked-"

Alex cut John off. "I did not!"

"He had a secret pack on top of the fridge," John snorted. "He had nothing but cereal and take out in his fridge. Not even good take out, like, greasy take out."

"Sorry I didn't eat your fancy  _ vegetables  _ and  _ fruits _ ," Alex scoffed. "I wasn't a millionaire."

"Yes, you were!" John gasped.

The night went on, and soon enough, Martha and Henry were going home. Maria, who had drunk too much wine, had just crashed in the living room. John tucked a blanket over her, making sure she was comfortable, before pulling Alex upstairs, for bed. Alex followed like a puppy, giggling a bit.

They had turned the attic into their room, and then also a bit of a library. It was nice. It took a bit of construction, which was mostly John, Thomas, Lafayette, and Dosia, and then some moving, but it had totally been worth it. It was bigger than their original room, and pictures were still hung up, and they even had a bay window overlooking the street.

John laughed as he got into their room, pulling his shirt off. "God, that went better than expected. You and my sister didn't try to kill each other, which is an automatic B plus."

"Mm, I know," Alex smiled, undoing his belt and practically tripping out of his pants and onto the bed. "What are our plans for tomorrow?"

"Uh, I asked Phillip, he said that he wanted to show Dorian around New York a little bit since Dorian had never been before. Rachel is gonna go out with a few of her friends to go shoot hoops in central park, so I believe we'll have the house to ourselves for a few hours," John chuckled.

"We could go out for a lunch date or something," Alex pointed out, pulling off his shirt and getting more comfortable on their bed, quickly pulling off his prosthetic and one of the coverings before lying back.

"We could have sex," John suggested, finally getting off his jeans and lying between Alex's legs, resting his head on the older man's stomach.

"We could do that," Alex nodded. "Before I forget again, I was talking to Lafayette, and he wanted to make sure we were gonna be in town for Manhattan pride."

"We are," John mumbled. "We're going to PR from late June to mid-July."

"Okay, because they want to hang with us again for that," Alex smiling, peeking his head over John's to see the still perfect curve of the younger man's ass.

"Mm, I'll get out my nipple tassels," John joked, closing his eyes a bit.

"You tired?" Alex asked amusedly.

"Just resting my eyes," John mumbled softly, gently curling a bit of the hair on Alex's stomach in his fingers. "I love you."

"I love you too," Alex replied, smiling as he ran his fingers through John's hair. "Sometimes I still wonder how I got lucky enough to have a man like you."

"It was the money," John chuckled, gently kissing Alex's stomach.

"Well, thank God I was rich," Alex shot back, smiling. "Do you think you would've still liked me as much if I hadn't been rich?"

"Alex, believe it or not, I'm not a very material person," John chuckled. "Your money had nothing to do with me giving you a blowjob."

"Mm, then what did you like about me?" Alex asked. "I want to feel special."

"You made me laugh," John stated. "And you were nice to my kid, and you were just relaxed about everything. You had a good vibe, and you were just easy to be around. What did you like about me?"

"Dat ass," Alex snorted.

John smacked Alex's thigh, smiling.

"I just liked how brave you were, and how kind you were, and just, you were like a knight in shining armor for everyone around you, but you were so humble at the same time. You were so happy with so little and it made me happy to see," Alex stated, smiling.

John pushed himself up and pulled Alex into a kiss. "You know, when I first saw you, I never thought any of this would happen."

"When you first saw me, you cursed at me," Alex pointed out softly.

"Because you were being a douche," John smiled, gently running his finger across Alex's collar bones.

"I was ordering food," Alex rolled his eyes, chuckling a bit. "I'm glad this all happened though."

"Really? I couldn't tell," John mumbled sarcastically.

"Shut up and fuck me," Alex snorted, his hands trailing down to John's ass.

John smiled. "You don't have to ask me twice."

Meanwhile, downstairs, Phillip lay back on his bed, breathing heavily as Dorian wiped their mouth a bit, cheeks a light pink. It was a bit of a scene, Phillip splayed out and still indecent, but eventually, he pulled up his shorts again as Dorian flopped down next to him, panting. The two were silent for a moment, just basking in their previous actions. Phillip gently ran his hand through Dorian's hair, eyes closed, lips parted a bit.

"Love you," Dorian mumbled.

"Love you," Phillip replied, smiling. "Do you like my parents?"

"I think they're cute," Dorian replied. "My parents hated each other once they hit the ten-year mark, but your parents seem to be not even close to that."

"Yeah, no, they just never left the honeymoon part of their relationship I don't think," Phillip laughed. "They were so lovey-dovey as far back as I can remember."

"Okay, I gotta ask you something," Dorian stated, rolling on top of Phillip and straddling his waist.

Phillip bent his knees up so Dorian could lean back against them if they wanted to. "Yeah?"

"I didn't want to ask in front of your parents, but like, your dad said something about sending your pop's dad to jail, and like, I just gotta know, what the hell happened there? I mean, I've heard about not liking your in-laws, but prison?" Dorian laughed.

Phillip pressed his lips together thinking. "You can't say anything about this to Rachel, alright? We just, we never really told her much about this, and she's never really asked. I know because I was like, alive while all of this was going on."

"Ooh, I can keep family secrets," Dorian chuckled. "Don't worry, I won't say anything."

"Okay," Phillip nodded. "So, my grandpa was really abusive towards my dad. It wasn't like, physical really, at least that's what he told me. Anyway, my dad had me when he was really young, like, twenty, and his dad didn't like that. It had a lot to do with abstaining from sex before marriage, and a lot of other Catholic things, and my grandpa kinda just cut my dad off from the family."

"That's awful," Dorian muttered.

"I'm not even at the worst part," Phillip mused. "So, life goes on. I grow up, my pop meets my dad, shit gets domestic and all that, you know? Like, we're moved in, we're happy. Anyway, since my dad used to be in politics, he would have to attend these stupid galas, which we all hated, by the way."

"Yes, I'm sure it was awful," Dorian commented sarcastically.

"I was the kid who had no filter and told a state senator that I wanted to be an anarchist when I grew up," Phillip deadpanned.

Dorian gasped, then began laughing, quite loudly. Phillip thought it was adorable, but knew his sister was gonna hit the wall if they were too loud, so he sat up, playfully shushing Dorian and kissing them, trying to quiet them down a bit. Both Phillip and Dorian were laughing, trying to stop, but it wasn't working. It took a while to calm down, but eventually, they did, Dorian still smiling widely.

"Okay, okay," Dorian gasped, taking a few deep breaths. "So, you're at a gala. What happened?"

"Well my grandpa was there, and he saw my pop, and long story short, he said he was proud of my pop, and my pop, who had never ever been told that by his father in his entire life, forgave my grandpa instantly for everything and invited him up for Christmas," Phillip explained.

"Yikes," Dorian mumbled.

"It's why my pop kinda dotes on me and my sister a lot," Phillip mumbled. "He doesn't want us going through what he went through. Anyway, my grandpa comes up for Christmas with all of my pop's siblings. I didn't really like any of them except for Jemmy, but that's just because we both were into art."

"So wait, how does this relate to your grandpa going to jail?" Dorian asked.

"I'm getting there," Phillip laughed. "So, what happened was my grandpa basically stole like, a lot of money from my dad. Like, five million dollars to cover up an embezzlement scheme. I don't think I got the full truth on this part, but my dad and pop got into like, a huge fight about it, and it ended with me and my pop living in another apartment for like, five months. It was just complicated and ugly and not their best moment, but we did get my sister from it."

"Damn," Dorian mumbled.

"Anyway, my dad went down to South Carolina, got my grandpa locked up, and then called my pop up a few months later ready to fix things," Phillip finished. "It was a bit of a fuck show, but they figured it out."

Dorian nodded. "Do you talk to your grandpa?"

Phillip shook his head. "My pop doesn't talk to him, and specifically asked me not to talk to him for safety reasons. Besides, the man never gave half a rats ass about me. The closest thing to a grandparent I got is my great aunt Gale, and my dad's Major in the army, George Washington, who served as governor before my dad, and his wife."

Dorian nodded. "You’ve got a patchwork family."

Phillip shrugged a bit, laughing. "Yeah, you'll meet a lot of them. You could even meet my ex-slash-best friend, William, and my other ex-slash-best friend, Payne."

Dorian smiled, sighing. "Do you want to make brownies?"

"Right now?" Phillip asked.

"Right now," Dorian confirmed. "I have a box of mix in my bag because I was afraid your parents wouldn't have any."

Phillip paused, smiling up at his lover. "I mean, yeah, I do want to make brownies."

Dorian got up, finding a shirt to slip on before they bent over their bag to get the brownie mix. Phillip slapped their ass on his way to get a shirt as well, causing them to giggle a bit and reach over to slap Phillip's knee. Dorian got the box and the two of them crept downstairs into the kitchen to begin making brownies.

"I like your family," Dorian commented as Phillip got out a bowl and some eggs, as well as a measuring cup. "I think they're nice."

"They like you," Phillip smiled. "My pop said you were cute and sweet when you went to go pee. My dad said you were marriage material, which is why you came back out to me throwing popcorn at him."

Dorian smiled cheekily. "Mm, do  _ you  _ think I'm marriage material?"

"I think you're a lot of things," Phillip shot back.

"Like what?" Dorian teased, biting their lip.

Phillip backed Dorian into the counter, putting his hands on either side of them. "Beautiful. Sweet. Kind. And a tease."

"Oh?" Dorian mused.

Phillip gently pecked Dorian's neck. "Mm-hm."

Dorian stuck their tongue out at Phillip, then squealed a bit when Phillip bit it softly before pulling Dorian into a kiss. Dorian wrapped their arms around Phillip's neck, sighing into the kiss a little bit. Phillip's hands went Dorian's hips, pulling them a bit closer to him.

They jumped apart at the sound of a throat clearing. Rachel was standing there, arms crossed, eyebrow raised, smiling a bit. "Hello, love birds."

"Isn't it past your bedtime?" Phillip scoffed.

Rachel shook her head. "I'm not tired, I don't have a bedtime on the weekend, and I'm hungry anyway." Rachel eyed the brownie mix as she got out soup. "Where'd you get that?"

"My Dorian brought it all the way from Oregon," Phillip laughed. "You know how dad and pop don't keep stuff like that around."

Dorian opened up the box and dumped the chocolate powder in. "Rachel, you play basketball?"

Rachel nodded, pouring the Pho into a large bowl and sticking it in the microwave four a couple of minutes. "Yeah, been playing since I was like, six or seven."

"My dad was the first one who ever taught her," John stated. "He played basketball when he was in the army."

"Your dad served?" Dorian asked.

"And he never wanted either of us to serve," Rachel laughed.

"Oh, yeah, I remember, when I was growing up, scouts would come to the house or call us or find me at school and the one thing my dad stressed more than anything was to never sign anything ever. When they would show up at our house, my dad wouldn't let them in," Phillip explained. "His biggest fear was that I'd get roped in."

"Is it really that bad?" Dorian asked, mixing the bowl.

"From what I've heard? Yes," Phillip nodded. "Rachel, you listen to this too. They're pretty bad, and it's just a messed up coperation. My dad only joined because he needed his citizenship to not expire, and it's no secret how little he thinks of the army."

"And the VA," Rachel reminded.

"Fuck the VA," Phillip muttered.

"Fuck the VA," Rachel agreed.

"I mean, I like it, but why?" Dorian asked.

"They're just shit for military veterans. Our dad has permanent nerve damage from a bombing and suffers from chronic pain, but the VA told him it was all in his head and he lived like that for years," Rachel mumbled, pulling her soup out of the microwave.

"Hospitals with military vets that aren't the VA are the only hospitals we go to," Phillip stated. "Hell, vet doctors are the only reason I'm alive right now probably."

Dorian glanced down at Phillip's prosthetic for a second. It was still Spiderman. It had always been Spiderman. Dorian knew Phillip loved Spiderman and didn't mind indulging in their boyfriend's hyper fixations with him. "You think so?"

Phillip nodded. "Yeah, and my dad was the one who stopped me from bleeding out. Vets deserve way more than what they get. They deserve way more than the VA."

Dorian nodded. "Do y'all get a military discount?"

"We do," Rachel smiled.

"Okay, babe, you hold the bowl, I'll get the brownie mix out," Phillip mumbled, spraying a pan down with some Pam spray and grabbing a rubber spatula. Dorian held the bowl up and Phillip scraped all the batter into the pan before putting it in the oven and setting the timer. The three of them took a second to dip their fingers in the bowl to get a taste of the raw brownie batter before Phillip rinsed it in the sink and placed it in the dishwasher. He then got himself and Dorian some more Pho and pushed himself up so he was sitting on the counter, smiling.

"So, Rachel, any crushes?" Phillip asked.

Rachel shrugged. "Not really? I dunno, I'm not really interested in relationships or anything. I just really like my friends, and I really like my hobbies. I don't feel the need to be with someone I guess."

"That's okay," Phillip shrugged. "You don't have to feel pressure to date. To be honest, it's not even worth it until you get into college, and even then it’s cool if you don’t want to date. Focus on other things. You don't gotta do anything you don't want to do."

"Yeah, and being in a relationship is overrated in middle school anyway. I promise, when you go into high school, everything is gonna seem like such a big deal, where you sit, who your friends are, who likes who, and who is pregnant, but like, none of that shit matters in college. I sit next to a pregnant lady in my second class, and frankly, it's not a big deal. Nothing matters in college."

"Yeah, for real," Phillip laughed. "My deskmate in trig looked over at me at seven in the fucking morning, told me he had an egg in his ass, and then proceeded to pour prune juice into his caramel latte, and you know what? He's my best friend."

"He's your best friend," Rachel deadpanned.

"Peter," Phillip smiled, taking a bite of the soup. "My pop said they had wine spritzers in the fridge. You want one?"

"What flavor?" Dorian asked.

"Peach white wine, damn," Phillip muttered, pulling a few cans out. "This is good stuff."

"Can I have some?" Rachel asked.

"Can I see your ID?" Phillip responded.

Rachel grumbled a curse under her breathe as Phillip cracked open a can and tossed one to Dorian, who opened it as well and took a sip. Phillip nodded, drinking the wine and continuing his conversation.

It lasted for hours, the three of them eating brownies. It was mostly Rachel and Phillip talking about things they couldn't say in front of their parents. Rachel talking about her friends, Phillip talking about some crazy college adventures. At one point, Phillip advised Rachel to stay far away from her friend who was starting to get into drugs. Phillip retold a story of one of his middle school friends who started doing heavy drugs and how Phillip, just by association, was tested for drugs and interrogated a bit by a vice principal. When Phillip had come home crying from that, John furiously went down to the school and yelled at the vice principal for an hour, and was very smug when Phillip's test was clean as a whistle.

"Okay, baby," Dorian mumbled around two am. "I gotta go to bed. I'm tired and jet-lagged."

Phillip nodded, kissing Dorian's cheek. "Alright, I'll be up in a bit. Love you."

Dorian pecked Phillip's lips, a smile on their face. "I love you too, babe."

Dorian went upstairs and for a second, Rachel was quiet, then she looked back to Phillip. "Do they treat you well?"

"I think so," Phillip nodded. "Is that what it looks like?"

Rachel thought for a second. "You two seem happy together."

"Well I would hope so," Phillip laughed. "I'm happy with them. I mean, they've just kinda been there. And then when I go all quiet and stim, they're still really nice and helpful. I dunno, when I tell people I'm autistic, they either think I'm lying or a really good actor. Either way, it doesn't get me a date."

"Why do they think you're lying?" Rachel asked, scoffing a bit.

"People want autism to be rocking back and forth and knowing everything about everything  _ so bad  _ and I guess they just don't think I'm autistic because I can communicate better than others," Phillip shrugged, his eyes on the fridge where pictures and Hanukkah cards are stuck up with magnets. "Then when I show actual symptoms, it's like,  _ too much  _ and I'm overreacting. I mean, some kid got mad at me because I had to walk out during his presentation, and I tried to explain that it's just because the sounds were hurting my head, and it was nothing against him, I just have autism, but like, he just didn't care."

"That's stupid. Do you need me to go to your college and beat some kids up?" Rachel asked.

Phillip laughed and shook his head. "No, no. All of my professors are pretty cool about it, and some people don't know or don't care. I did once get chewed out by my manager at work for not making eye contact with customers and then my work friend Stacy very quietly said 'he has autism, dude,' and that's the story of how I got a very  _ fat  _ Christmas bonus."

"Oh! I was wondering how you can afford to get me such nice Jordans," Rachel laughed a bit. "How has working life been in Oregon?"

"Well, Dorian and I can only afford to live in the projects, but it's cool, because I've never had a problem with apartment living, and Dorian gets to see what's it's like to be poor for once," Phillip chuckled, reaching into the half-empty brownie pan and pulling one out.

"Damn, did they grow up rich?" Rachel asked.

Phillip shrugged. "Yeah, but they ain't got cash no more. Parents cut 'em off. Had a lot to do with prejudices and stuff like that, a lot like what Pop went through."

Rachel nodded slowly.

"Are Dad and Pop still happy?" Phillip asked quietly. "I mean, they look happy, but I just, I'm not home a lot, and I want to know."

"I don't think you can even fake how happy they are together," Rachel gagged. "They're like, sick in love. I think they're fine. Why? You worried your absence is causing marital issues?"

Phillip rolled his eyes. "No, just wondering. People grow apart sometimes, and I just, I don't want our parents to do that."

Rachel sighed a bit. "You think you're ever gonna come back to New York?"

"Why?" Phillip snorted. "You miss me?"

"I miss you like the Knicks miss Joakim Noah," Rachel snorted.

Phillip gave her a confused look.

"Come on? Joakim Noah? Memphis Grizzlies power forward?" Rachel sighed and shook her head. "This is why Dad taught  _ me  _ basketball."

"When you're playing for the Knicks-"

"Career suicide, I'd go for the Bulls."

Phillip rolled his eyes. "When you're playing for the Bulls, or  _ whoever  _ you get signed to, please remember me rebounding for you."

"And when you get an Oscar for your animated film, please remember who listened to your ideas while you rebounded for me," Rachel replied.

Phillip smiled. "I like the braids. How new are they?"

Rachel shrugged. "A few months. Uncle Herc put them in for me. I like them. When'd you get your dreads put in?"

Phillip touched his hair. "Uh, I guess a bit before spring break. I have to get them retwisted like, once a month, but it's cool. I really like it, and I think the look suits me."

"Yeah, I like it," Rachel nodded. "Is it easier to manage?"

"Than my fucking afro? Hell yeah," Phillip laughed. "It's like, immensely easier."

Rachel nodded. "That's what I've heard."

"I still gotta gel my edges, but it's cool." Phillip chuckled a bit, tying his dreadlocks up above his head.

"Well, well, well."

Phillip and Rachel looked over to see Alex and John, standing there. Alex had on his robe and boxers while John wore just some sweatpants and a tank top.

"Don't 'well, well, well' us," Phillip scoffed. "You're up too."

John nodded, shrugging a bit and smiling. "We’re grown ups. Are those brownies?"

"Dorian brought some mix with them in case y'all didn't have any. I think we make brownies like, at least once a week," Phillip chuckled as both John and Alex helped themselves to the treat.

"I remember when you wanted to marry Theo Burr," Alex smiled.

"Me and Theo are still tight, you know that," Phillip smiled. "In fact, one of the reasons we're leaving early is to visit Theo for a week."

"Where's she at?" Alex asked, leaning against the counter. "Minnesota?"

"Ohio," Phillip answered. "She's getting her farm up and running, and she works over at a jam store or something when she's not doing that."

"Of course she is," Alex smiled. "That girl lives the best life anyone could have. I'm jealous of her. John, can we move to a farming state and spend our days-"

"No," John said quickly. "I've lived in farming areas before, I'm not doing it again."

"Not even in Italy?" Alex pouted.

"If we're moving anywhere besides New York, it's Puerto Rico," John decided.

"Okay, a good compromise," Alex smiled.

“Hey, I have been meaning to ask, how’s bio-mom Martha?” Phillip mumbled, sipping his wine.

“Bio-mom Martha is doing good,” John answered. “She’s over in Denmark right now for an art thing, but she gets back in a week or so, so we can hang with her when she does.”

“That’s dope,” Rachel smiled. 

“She sent us a Danish mix or something so how about we make that for breakfast in the morning?” Alex suggested. 

“Yes,” Phillip sighed, practically drooling.

John leaned back, looking over his two kids. "Damn. Alex, how did we get so lucky to get not one, but  _ two  _ good kids in a row?"

"I don't know," Phillip chuckled, going to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of Rose, then sipping it straight from the bottle.

" _ One  _ good kid," Alex corrected, sighing a bit.

Phillip scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I'm the only reason you two are together, and I'm twenty-one, so I can drink."

Alex smiled, tilting his head a bit. "You know we love you both."

Rachel and Phillip nodded.

"Mm," John mumbled. "Phillip, did you drink all the white wine spritzers?"

"I did," Phillip nodded.

"How are you still standing? Those things have like, twelve perfect alcohol proof and there was like, five of them," Alex asked.

Phillip scoffed, sipping the Rose. "I'm a college student. I could drink  _ circles  _ around you two.

"They wore off," Rachel clarified. "There was about an hour where he was all dopey and whatnot."

"Snitches get stitches, you rat," Phillip gasped.

Rachel smiled cheekily. "You love me."

"I love you like the Knicks love Kendrick Odin," Phillip shot back.

Both Rachel and Alex paused, thinking. It was Rachel who spoke up first. "Kendrick, Kendrick Odin?"

"Whoever you said earlier," Phillip huffed.

Rachel laughed and Phillip sipping his wine. Alex's hand went to John's and the two of them smiled as they talked to their children. The house smelled homely with Phillip cologne back in the mix. Coconut oil was a prominent scent in the kitchen between Phillip and Rachel, and Alex and John still smelled a bit like sweat from their previous activities, but they were happy. It was just them, smiling. Phillip was a little buzzed, but it wasn't obvious. They were just together.

They were just happy.

 


End file.
